My True Love's Form
by NightcatMau
Summary: When Skulduggery and her friends are trapped Valkyrie must take her true love's form to save them. Valduggery. Really rampant Valduggery.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Tanith or Ghastly. The story is set after book nine but since only book seven is out you'll have to excuse any errors. Somehow Tanith is Remnant free and back with Ghastly, yay! Val is about 24 or so, and the story is her POV. Note: Excuse my mess as I edit. 2/14/16

* * *

Skulduggery had been gone for several weeks, but so had Ghastly and Tanith. I was agitated, there was nothing to be done, the Sanctuary said. What they meant was: your friends are collateral damage, too bad. They weren't dead, but would be soon. The mirror I'd found in Uncle Gordon's attic, a large oval thing showed me that much. It showed me an ancestor too. Mine. My great grandmother to some generations back. A fiery beauty even in her old age. Her grey hair swept up in a bun, her long grey dress trailing over grey boots.

She showed me what had happened, how my friends were stuck in the world the mirror could take me to. Now I had only one chance to get them back. "You'll have to go through the mirror." She said gently. "As I did, hundreds of years ago, and be willing to fight, but it comes at far too high a price for most."

"What price?" I asked, my mind immediately leaping to thoughts of loosing Skulduggery and I cringed in guilt. As if Tanith and Ghastly weren't my good friends as well.

"You need to watch something, to understand." She said. A wave of her hand and an image of her as a young woman appeared. Her friends had been abducted too, into a world of knights and magic. She had had the same choice I had, to put on the armour of the women of our magical family line. It wasn't much to look at, just a dull sliver colour, and plain, but then, many magical objects looked mundane. "But it was a terrible thing, the armour." She said, sadly. It not only gave me power and abilities I didn't have, but it took on the form of my one true love. Do you know what it is like, seeing his face when you rescue him in armour that looks just like him?" She smiled sadly.

I put my hand on her arm, still surprised she was real. "What happened? Please tell me?"

"I never told your grandfather it was me. He wasn't magical so it was easy to hide the truth from him. Besides in our time a lady knight wasn't normal, not in Ireland at any rate, at least not where I was from. But the armour is your only hope. Your friends don't have much time. You'd have to choose now, but know that the armour will reveal all."

I almost laughed at how that sounded, but managed a polite "I don't love anyone, not that I know of. So the armour shouldn't be a problem." She smiled sadly at my lie, told me to take hold of the armour and simply will it on, the mirror and armour would do the rest. I took hold...

* * *

I was racing along city rooftops now in the mirror world. The armour was a living thing, molded exactly to me. Well, more than exactly, but I tried not to think about the form, but reveled in the freedom. I had been running for hours but wasn't tired. The clothing that had formed over it was warm, a good thing since the armour was as sensitive as human skin.

I came to a roof edge and stopped, staring down. There they were, facing only one opponent. A vampire. I frowned and felt the armour frown too. He should have been easy to defeat, for any of them. Then I saw the shackles and could dimly make out the low posts behind them the shackles attached to. Something didn't make sense. How had he managed to trap them all, unless it was-

"A trap?" Shrilled a high-pitched voice behind me. "Very good for one as ugly as you. But now, now you die." A female vampire has spoke these words, and who was she calling ugly? Even her human form was hideous. And that cheap dress! I wouldn't have been caught dead in it. Suddenly she ripped off her dress along with her skin and sprang at me, the force carrying us off the roof. But I had gotten an upgrade with the armour, and we hacked and slashed at each other in midair. I felt her claws rending my duster into tattered ribbons. She went for my eyes and I slapped at her face in a blind rage.

He head snapped back, the neck broken, but she still came at me, screaming. I managed to push her away with air, tried to manipulate it to hold her tight. But though I now wore the form of the man I loved my skills weren't his equal and she lunged in close, holding her own head upright by the hair, biting my neck.

I felt the armour harden, heard her scream of terror as her teeth snapped. I threw fire at her and she caught, screaming in agony. But it still wasn't enough. I drew my sword and beheaded her, watching the flaming bit go sailing towards the cobblestones below. Her body collapsed as well, landing with a satisfying _splat_. I grinned. Turning, I leapt to the ground from midair, landing in a low crouch. The male vampire hissed at me. With his slicked back hair, overly formal tuxedo and cape looked like a reject from a Castlevania game.

He must have read my thoughts, because he roared, yes, _roared_. Eyes glowing red he addressed me in an imperious tone. "How _dare_ you kill my bride, you insignificant mortal? Do you think your visage frightens me? I am the lord of the vampires, nothing frightens me!" He ripped off his skin before I could retort, and was on me lightning fast. But I managed to bring my arm up to protect my neck, and he too howled in anguish when he bit metal. But then he slapped me, rocking me back. I staggered, feeling blood trickle out of my mask. The blood only enraged him more, and he came at me, getting me in a savage grip from behind.

I snarled in rage, and slammed my elbows repeatedly in his ribs, then cracked my head back savagely, the metal brim of my hat slicing deep into his ugly face. Howling, he released me. He wasn't healing from the cut, interesting. But he was gone before I could draw my sword, once again across the courtyard from me. I let loose fire, but he evaded easily, closing the distance rapidly. Too bad I snagged the air back, drawing the fireballs with it. They hit him from behind and the vampire went up with an explosive _whoosh_ then splattered chunks all over the cobblestones.

Some of which landed on my lovely new black duster or what was left of it. And my hat, my lovely new hat. I took it off, trying to wipe the bits of gore off it. It was absolutely ruined. I snarled in disgust, not sure if I should keep it now or throw it away. A sound of a throat clearing caught my attention. _Oh right, my friends._ I slapped the hat back on, grateful my armour protected me from the now exposed bladed brim. I went to stand before them, unable to fight the urge to cross my arms and tilt my head. I was slightly taller now, and much thinner, somehow the armour had done that. Perhaps if I kept quiet they wouldn't know who I was.

After all, I wore all black and a duster not an overcoat... I set to work on the shackles, undoing Ghastly and Tanith first. Ghastly rubbed his wrists and stared hard at me, Tanith met my gaze once and turned away in revulsion. So I was ugly. I got Skulduggery free at last, his shackles would have to be jammed, and stood up. He looked at me, saying nothing. I knew they needed to get back home. I waved my hand and the mirror appeared before me. Seeing my reflection the second time was no treat. I was ugly. My armour made me a living skeleton, but one of deepest metallic black. My hollow eye sockets looked hateful, and my exposed bones through my ripped clothes looked wicked.

I snarled in repulsed anger at my reflection, throwing up an arm to shield myself from the vision. I gestured so they knew to go through. Ghastly and Tanith went first, linked hand and hand, Tanith still giving me a look of horror, but now mixed with pity. Skulduggery looked at me and hesitated. It had always been my greatest fear he would find out I loved him. Now, well, now it was apparent, wasn't it?

"Nice hat." He said. He stood arms folded, waiting for a response. I ducked my head refusing to meet his gaze.

"It was a nice hat, now it's ruined. Just look at it, Skulduggery. Well, maybe Ghastly can fix it." I heard a faint amused sound and looked up.

"I thought it was you. You did an incredibly brave yet stupid thing coming here. Even with that armour you should have given us up for dead. Why didn't you?" He had shoved his hands in his pockets was looking at me speculatively from under the brim of his hat. He knew the answer of course, he just wanted to see if I'd tell him.

"Because you were one of the people in danger. What else would you expect me to do? Just leave you here?"

"Yes, yes you should have. But did I expect you to? No, not really. In fact I'm surprised it took you so long to get here. But then, you aren't _me_ , even if you do look like me. I like the jacket too, by the way, maybe Ghastly can make you a new one. It suits you. Well, it suits me." I looked at him, fighting the urge to wring his skeletal neck. But he laughed then, his laughter rich and deep, and held his arms out to me. I took the hat off, tossing it to one side and melted into his embrace.

"You do rescue me an awful lot, don't you?" He asked, one skeletal hand holding the back of my armored head while I nestled into his shoulder. "If I didn't know better I'd say you were in love with me." I gaped up at him, and he cuffed me gently on the chin. "You could do a lot better than me, you know. If you're so into skeletons maybe I can buy you a lovely new shovel and we'll go grave digging together." I punched him lightly in the arm, and he smiled at me. We walked towards the mirror together, but he stopped me before we went through.

I thought he was going to kiss me, he leaned in so close, but he only looked at me in bemusement. "Your hat." He whispered. He gestured and it flew to him. He caught it deftly, avoiding the blade. He placed it on my head, pulling the brim down too far.

He went toward the mirror, stopped with his hand on the frame. He looked slyly over his shoulder at me. "I'm not kissing you until that armour comes off. Well come along then, we haven't got all day." He said, then disappeared into the mirror. I paused to adjust my hat, my formerly good, but now ruined hat, and followed.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Ghastly, or Tanith. Val is still 24 as it is the same day.

* * *

I stepped through the mirror, ending back up in Uncle Gordon's attic. The mirror shattered behind me and I sighed. _Well, that was that, then_. My clothes were in tatters from the fight and I needed the armour off, but I cast a quick look at Tanith and Ghastly as I passed. Skulduggery was speaking to them. Tanith gave the men a quick smile and followed me down the stairs. We are like sisters, so I didn't mind her following me into my bedroom. She looked demurely at the carpet as I shed my ruined jacket, suit coat and tailored shirt. I looked in the mirror admiring myself, tossing my hat to the bed.

I was apparently his exactly replica, and well, I really was fascinated with my own workings. How my bones went together. The alluring composition of my ribs, the arm bones and how my shoulders flexed like his. But it somehow felt like cheating, looking at myself like this. I could sense her discomfort and smiled. I reached up and touched the sides of my jaw, the armour coming away in front. Then it was all off and I stood in my usual clothes. I glanced over at her. Tanith was still _really_ interested in the floor.

"I am still me, you know." I told her. She looked up, saw the armour off and looked relieved. Surely she didn't find me that ugly. But she took one glance at the armour, now somehow standing in the corner and dressed, and cringed. I sensed a lecture coming.

"Well, what is it?" I asked.

"How can you look at that, see him like that, and be in love? It's just creepy. I'm sorry, but it is. I know you love him, and I approve, but looking like that?" She shook her head and left. I went over to the armour and looked at it.

The tattered clothing hung off of it, the skull wore a perpetual snarl. The hands were clenched and the eye sockets seemed to glare at the room. But I only saw Skulduggery in the armour, and he often wore that expression when he fought. I realized of course other people didn't see this, but still. There was nothing frightening here, only his masculine power... I blinked in surprise. Now where did _that_ thought come from? I thought of him as a man of course, always had. But I'd never allowed myself to cross the line and think of him as masculine in an attractive sense.

Yes, I was in love with him, the armour's very form made me have to admit that. But anything else made me a tad uneasy. This was my partner after all. It was Skulduggery Pleasant. How could I possibly be thinking of him in a romantic sense? I sighed, but felt the air currents in the room shift as I did. I looked over to the doorway, saw Skulduggery looking at me with the same bemused expression as before. "Handsome devil, isn't he?" He said happily, wandering over to inspect the armour. He picked up a skeletal hand, flexing it. "Very fierce looking. Do I really look like this in battle?"

I smiled at him. "You know you do, and don't pretend you don't. You're just pleased somebody else noticed." He nodded in agreement, his skeletal hands running over the armour, testing here and there.

He turned to me, cast me a playful glance. "I wasn't here of course, but we weren't admiring ourselves in the mirror, were we?" I felt the heat rise to my face and he continued. "I could tell by Tanith's disgusted look when she left. Do tell me you had some clothes on at the time." His voice was a velvety purr. "I wouldn't want to think you were taking advantage of me."

He stepped away from the armour and wrapped his arms around me, looking down in amusement. Out of the armour I was slightly shorter than him and looking up at him made my stomach do backflips. "You are sure about this, right?" He asked gently. I nodded and closed my eyes as he brought his teeth to my lips. Softly at first, but then with more assurance. I felt an electric current go through me, and it felt like my heart stopped.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, bringing one hand up to pull his skull even closer. He deepened the kiss, making soft sounds, his hands roaming restlessly up and down my back, seeking purchase.

"Skulduggery!" It was Ghastly's voice. He stood in the doorway, looking appalled.

Skulduggery looked up, arms still wrapped around me and cast him an amused look. "Hmm?"

"Come down to the kitchen, I'll make tea for the rest of us. And just don't do that. God." He sounded faintly repulsed and I buried my head in Skulduggery's shoulder and burst out laughing. He joined me, the rich sound melting my heart all over again.

"Well, _that_ went well. I suppose they were going to find out some time and no time like the present." He kissed me again, but more chastely than before. He ran an affectionate hand over my hair, beaming down at me.

* * *

In the kitchen Ghastly had made tea, his solution, I noticed, to everything that made him nervous. I smiled at him and Tanith and they managed faint smiles back. I knew I had to say something first, and I knew they really weren't interested about their rescue at this point.

"You both know I'm twenty four right?" They nodded. "And I get to make my own decisions on who I'll choose to be with, right?" They nodded again after a slight hesitation. "Then I choose Skulduggery and that's all there is to it."

"We're happy for you, both of you, really." Tanith said. "We were just-"

"Shocked?" Skulduggery supplied. They both nodded. "As was I, but Valkyrie does have exquisite taste in men, or at least now she does since she's chosen me." Ghastly almost choked on his tea and I couldn't help laughing. Skulduggery grinned over at me; he was clearly in the mood to have fun with this. "So, what do you think we should name the children?" He asked happily. I burst out laughing harder this time as Ghastly and Tanith sat looking dumbfounded.

I had to let them off the hook, as funny as this was. "God, he's kidding! I only kissed him just now. Honest. I didn't even know he felt the same way." They looked relieved and I resisted the temptation to say more than a kiss would happen if the would just please leave now. It wouldn't have of course. Skulduggery was far too much of a gentleman for that.

We made small talk for a while, then they got a taxi and left, Skulduggery seeing them off as I lounged on the sofa in the living room, half asleep. I head him lock the door, and he came into the room looking more pleased than usual with himself, if it were possible. He sat in a chair opposite, looking at me. It should have felt awkward I guess, being alone for the first time after he and they had found out that I loved him, but it wasn't. He stretched his long legs in front of him, propping his feet up on the ottoman, and pulled his hat low over his brow. He folded his arms over his chest, and I could see his smile deepen.

His skull dipped slightly and I could tell he was slipping off into meditation. I reached up and turned off the lamp, soon asleep myself.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, or Ghastly. Do own Madame Lovegate though. Val is still 24, gosh darn it. It is only the next day. Story in Val's POV.

* * *

I awoke the next morning to the heavenly smell of coffee and the sound of Sinatra pouring out of my stereo. Why on Earth had I picked a couch to sleep on in a mansion with at least five bedrooms? Oh, right, Skulduggery. I was so used to sleeping on a couch at his place the habit must have been ingrained. He was seated across from me in the chair, legs crossed, hat off and on the coffee table. He was reading one of Uncle Gordon's books, but I felt his gaze flick over to me.

"Ah, there you are. Good morning. Coffee is right in front of you. Sorry about the liberties with your stereo, but there was a Sinatra CD so I decided to play that instead of the noise you have the radio set to. You really should look into getting more music like that, perhaps Gordon will help you."

"It'smyCD." I mumbled into my coffee cup.

"Hmm?"

"I said it's my CD. "

"How's that again?"

"OK you win. I like Sinatra. A little. Sometimes. In small doses." I said, flushing bright red.

"And yet that is one of six of his albums I found." Skulduggery replied, sounding rather smug and I had to resist the urge to hit him. "There's no shame in someone your age having good taste in music, Valkyrie. Apparently I've been a good influence after all. Once you've had several cups of coffee, and you will need them, we are wanted at the Sanctuary. You get to explain just how you managed the rescue, and of course, exactly where your dashingly handsome armor came from. I only wish Lord Vile had thought of that before you. That plain armor of his. What _was_ he thinking?" He teased playfully.

I smiled, he was clearly pleased with himself. Skulduggery always had a massive ego in the past, and I wondered if the sight of the armour only boosted his sense of self worth. From the smug expression on his skeletal face I could only assume it had. "Do you think Ghastly will make me new clothes?" I asked. "I can certainly afford to pay him now."

Skulduggery snorted. "I think Ghastly would like to put you in a convent. Be that as it may, you are my partner, not his. And although you do look good in black, you are hardly the sainted type. Finished with the coffee? Good, come on then, I brought the Bentley over this morning so we can ride to your doom in style." I laughed and followed him to the car, glad things were back to normal. After all, Elder Bespoke would speak for me, wouldn't he?

* * *

Instead of meeting all the Elders I was called into the office of Madame Lovegate. Yes, that is her Taken Name. I guess it makes sense as she specializes in matters of the heart. Of course love magic was one of the most useless forms of magic in my opinion, but I'd heard she was good in a fight as well, so I respected her. She'd made tea and insisted I sit with her. Usually girly things like her tea set and the assorted sweetened offerings make me cringe, but I did like them, once in a great while. She poured, a sweetly proper hostess, then waited until I had tasted my tea to speak.

"There you are, my dear. So, the armour of your family line was handed down was it? I'm not surprised. That particular great grandmother of yours always did like to flaut tradition and break the rules. You must understand that you _did_ break the law, you were forbidden to go after them. What would have happened if something went wrong, child? Opening doors between worlds is a dangerous thing."

Her voice was kind, but I frowned at the child remark. True, she was over a thousand years old, but I was hardly a child. And I hated being called that. But she was talking to me with civility, not thundering at me from an Elder's throne. Besides, I knew exactly the right answer. "Well, Madame Lovegate, you also know how the armour works. Certainly the current form speaks for itself. I _had_ to rescue them. Him. I couldn't do otherwise. Don't you always say people should follow their heart?" I smiled, trying to make a good impression, and trying _very_ hard not to laugh.

"Yes, yes, I do. But you usually find it funny, don't you? I suppose you should be punished for breaking the law, but I find the object of your love punishment enough." She shook her head sadly and I resisted the urge to hit her. Maybe Skulduggery was right, maybe I _was_ too violent as he'd often said. But I didn't like people talking about him and her next words didn't help things, either. "Once you learn more about him, that he is truly incapable of love, then you'll find that armour a burden, not a gift. You are dismissed."

I wanted to protest, to say I knew enough about Skulduggery as it was, that he most certainly did love me, but I'd learned recently when not to speak. So I just gave her a faint smile and left her office. Ghastly was waiting outside and he smiled when he saw me. "Well you are alive, that's more that I'd hoped for. You're also not charged with anything, so there is that. It does help that Erskine is the Grand Mage and found the whole thing extremely funny. Skulduggery spoke to me about your new clothes and I'll make them, but it is still-"

"Weird?" I asked.

"Extremely. But Tanith chose me, so who knows how you women think? Or if you think since you could both do better. But don't tell her I said that. Skulduggery's with the Bentley waiting for you. I trust he'll be relieved to see you in one piece."

I nodded and left the Sanctuary, blinking as I stepped into the bright sunshine. Skulduggery was leaning against the Bentley, waiting for me, hat cocked back on his head. The bright sun made his skeletal face seem to glow, a sight which make my heart flutter. I realized with a start he wasn't wearing his façade. "Skulduggery!" I hissed when I was close enough. He pulled down his collar to show me where the tattoos for the façade had been removed, the bone healed by a Sanctuary doctor. He looked down at me, arms folded, and I could feel him blink, waiting for my response.

"I'm glad, relieved really. I know you getting the façade was half my idea anyhow, but the idea of you wearing anything from China-" I didn't hug him, even though I wanted to badly, he had this unspoken rule about too much physical affection and I knew I had to wait for him to make the first move.

"My thoughts precisely. You aren't angry with me? Disappointed I'll never look like a real man again?" His head tilted, but there was a coolness to his voice I didn't like. I wanted to kiss him in reply, but the sudden cold look on his features stopped me.

But I could still talk, Lord knows I learned how from him. "Skulduggery, I love you as a man. Of course you're a real man. God knows you're more human that a lot of the drudges working in there." I jerked my thumb back over my shoulder.

He nodded. "Good, but not that it matters. We are going to my house to go over a new case. Well, get in then."

I was a bit surprised and more than a little hurt by his words. But I got in the car to see him adjusting his old disguise. He felt my gaze.

"Glove compartment. For a detective you should have looked in there."

"You told me _never_ to look in the glove compartment." I growled back.

"You were twelve at the time. My gun was in there and I figured you'd shoot yourself. You know, that's the only thing I've ever told you not to do that you listened to." I could hear the fond nostalgia in his voice and could feel him putting a slight distance between us. Did he regret kissing me now?

"Just shut up and drive." I growled.

* * *

The ride to his house was far too quiet. To save my dignity and his I had decided not to talk about the kiss. Maybe he had made a mistake, maybe he had felt nothing. I didn't know and didn't want to know. Inside he handed me my copy of the case file, and gestured to my desk. He went to his, absorbed in his own file. I shook my head and tried to make sense of the case. Five Elemental sorcerors like us had all been found brutally murdered, hacked to bits, but there was no blood on any crime scene. Strangest of all, the parts were frozen as if they'd been exposed to liquid nitrogen when first found.

I looked at the crime scene photos and repressed a cringe. I could feel Skulduggery looking at me. "Penny for your thoughts." He said, head titled, and I hoped he meant the case.

"It just seems strange. Without seeing a body up close I can't tell if the victims were frozen then cut, or- No wait, I can. Those, well, those aren't ice shavings. But the shavings. They were frozen then cut. Is there even magic like that?" I asked, mystified.

He nodded. "If you would ever take your Elemental training seriously you'd be able to manipulate all kinds of elements. Either this killer can freeze the liquid in a human body, or is using a scientific solution. There could be other ways to kill someone like this. But why cut the bodies after?"

"Maybe the killer doesn't think the freezing will last? The parts look dead, they would have to be dead, but maybe he is paranoid."

"Dead." He said softly as if the word hurt. "No, no. Pay attention to the methodology. Each is found displayed, like a work of art. Each body has a piece missing. I think we are looking at a magical serial killer here." I looked down at the photos again, he was right, they were displayed in a sort of pattern, almost like magical sigils.

I tried to redeem myself in his eyes. "We know the order of the killings and the parts taken, so that means research, right?" I asked, trying to sound happy. He nodded.

"We'll need an early start in the morning to get at the old case files at the Sanctuary. Or rather, you will. I'll be enjoying time at Ghastly's watching him make your new clothes. You'll be doing the research with Tanith." He held up a hand to stem off my protest. "This will be good fieldwork for you, Valkyrie, and a chance to sharpen your detection skills. You know the type of killer, the methodology, that there is magic involved. Start with ritualistic killers and expand from there." The coldness and distance was back in his voice and I was trying really hard not to cry in front of him.

I nodded unhappily wondering just how much more of the case I'd have to spend away from him. But Skulduggery had always been like this, leaving my side unexpectedly to teach me some sort of lesson. He must have read my mind, because he spoke coolly. "I won't always be here for you, Valkyrie, You know that. I'm over four hundred years old, not to mention the fact that I'm your partner and mentor. But I won't always be here. One day I'll be dead for good and you need to be strong enough to survive on your own or everything I've taught you was for nothing."

He waved a dismissive hand and I left the office, finding the old couch I was used to. I waited for him until sleep claimed me, but he either meditated in his office or simply chose to ignore me. Had waiting for him to make the first move been a mistake? Or maybe, just maybe, the armour was cursed and he never would love me. I drifted into a troubled sleep, dreams of attending his funeral hounding me through the nighttime hours.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery , Tanith, or Valkyrie, yadda, yadda, yadda. Yes she is still 24, yes it is still Valkyrie's POV.

* * *

I awoke the next morning groggy. Skulduggery stood looking at me, hands in his pockets. "You're up? Good. Tanith will be here soon. Help yourself to whatever you like in the kitchen, though I admit there isn't much, and get ready." He turned to leave.

"Skulduggery, did I do something wrong? Was it wrong to kiss you?" I asked helplessly. He froze, not speaking. Then he nodded, his back still to me and left the room.

* * *

Although I usually liked Tanith being so bouncy and hyper I wasn't in the mood for it and as we headed for the basement filing room where old case files were kept I ignored her happy chatter. A musty damp smell and broken down cardboard boxes greeted us. The room was lit by a lone dim bulb and looked like the set of a horror movie. Nothing, I realized sadly, was sorted into anything more specific than solved and unsolved.

I told Tanith what we were looking for and she shook her head in distaste. I ended up picking out case files one by one, from the boxes I'd set on the room's lone table while she drummed her hands on the table, beating out a good version of 'Wipeout'. I was finding some small pattern to the dusty old boxes. Then I realized I didn't even know how long the killer had been operating and put my head in my hands. What would Skulduggery do?

Assume it was a new killer and look at recent cases? Or would he have recognized something in the crime scene photos and solved the case already? I went to pick up my mobile and stopped. I could do this, or he thought I could.

Tanith, rocking her chair on two legs and unable to bear the quiet spoke. "Well? Did he kiss you again?"

"He said it was a mistake." I said dully.

"He what? He kissed you, right?"

"Yes, but he knew I wanted him to. I think it was out of pity." I put the file down, ignoring her look of surprise. " Oh God, Tanith. I started in the wrong filing room. We have to go upstairs and look in the filing cabinets. I hate those things more than boxes, but they might have the serial killers listed."

Several hours later and nothing. It finally occurred to me that Skulduggery had sent me there as punishment.

* * *

I guessed I was supposed to head to his house, and Tanith dropped me off close to the Bentley. I was glad he was home as it had occurred to me that I had no key. Skulduggery met me at the door, a bemused expression on his face. "Did we enjoy our exciting day in the room of magical filing cabinets?"

"You knew I wouldn't find anything, didn't you?" I grumbled, following him into the living room.

"Yes, but as a detective you should be familiar with past cases and major criminals. Now may I assume that you are?" He chuckled at my silent nod and drew me into his embrace. His skeletal hand stroked my hair fondly, but he made no move to kiss me.

"Skulduggery?"

"Yes?"

"Do you love me?" I asked felt him freeze. Apparently not the right thing to say. I craned my head back to look up at him. He looked away, not meeting my gaze.

"It doesn't matter if I do, Valkyrie. I'm far too old for you. I am a skeleton, I am dead. You can do far better than me without even trying."

"But I love you. You Skulduggery, and nobody else. When you kissed me, I thought you felt the same way."

He stepped out of my embrace, folding his arms. The cold expression was back on his face. "Kissing you, kissing you was a mistake. It should never have happened. You are far too young to even know what real love is." That hurt.

"I'm twenty four, Skulduggery!" I said angrily. "I know I love you, I know you love me. Is this about something I said or didn't say? Something I did or didn't do? Be as angry as you want, but don't punish me like this."

I sensed him blinking again. "Punishment? My dear, this is just common sense. Now if you're done being overly emotive, we do have a case to solve."

* * *

We went over the files again, Skulduggery pointing out that we would be visiting each crime scene in the following days. Luckily the killer seemed to be following a lunar pattern and the next killing would be on the dark of the moon. That gave us nearly a month to prepare. "Why the dark?" I asked, confused. At least among most killers the full moon was the time to strike.

"Maybe our killer is trying to be special. Maybe he thinks the dark of the moon has unique magical powers. I honestly don't know. I do know however that it is late and you should get some sleep." He waved me off like the night before.

It hurt to be dismissed, but I went and got a shower, then decided to sleep in the bed he'd brought in for me. Skulduggery had done so much for me over the years. Still we had our routine. If I slept on the couch that meant I wanted to talk and we used to, for hours, before he'd meditate and I'd sleep. But now, so much of that seemed gone forever. With one kiss I had managed to put a distance between us. _Way to go, Valkyrie._ I thought sourly. I tried not to think of the fact that I did love him, was in love with him, and curled up under the covers.

I had a feeling this would be our last case together. That he'd send me away, or he'd go away, and I didn't want to disappoint him. Maybe Madam Lovegate was right, maybe he couldn't love me in return.

* * *

I woke up screaming and to the feeling of skeletal hands shaking me hard. Skulduggery was calling my name. I opened my eyes to see the fear written on his bony features. He pulled me deep into his embrace, rocking me back and forth. "Shh, shh. It's just a nightmare. I'm here, I'm here now. There now, there, don't cry. I'm sorry if the case is upsetting you. I wouldn't think any less of you for not continuing, you know." He said as he stroked my hair gently.

"It isn't the case, Skulduggery. Im terrified I'm going to loose you. That this is the case where you do die, where I never get to see you again." My breath was hitched with sobs, and I only clung tighter.

"That would upset you this much, Valkyrie? You'd go into mourning for me? For _me_?" He asked sadly.

"Of course I would, Skulduggery. I love you. I don't even care anymore if you love me in return or not. But I do love you, and I want to be with you. I'll never mention," my breath hitched, "I'll never mention loving you again, if that's what you want, but please don't send me away after this case. I can't stand the thought of loosing you." I felt humiliation flood over me at the weak, pleading tone in my voice.

He pulled away slightly to look at me. "You mean that, don't you? You do love me and would actually mourn loosing me? I've never had anyone say that since, well, ever. Nobody mourns a man who is already dead. All I am is bones, that's all I'll ever be. I'm dead, not even a corpse. Just a collection of bones held together by magic and willpower. I'm not going to change into some flesh and blood prince if you kiss me. I can never give you children, I can never show my face in daylight. You deserve so much more that I can ever give you." He looked at me, drew me close again, and continued.

"But if it means that much to you..."

"Yes?" I asked, hopeful.

"Then we will remain partners at least. But don't ask me for more than I can give. You are so young, Valkyrie. In a hundred years, if that, you'd regret choosing me. You'll meet a young man, your age, he'll be able to provide you with a normal life. It will happen. You had Fletcher once, as your first love. That tells me all I need to know about your true taste in men."

"But I didn't love him, Skulduggery. It's you that I love." I said helplessly and felt him brush my cheek lightly with his teeth.

"I know. I know. I wish that I could-" He broke off, pulling me into his embrace once more and kissing me, his teeth hesitant on my lips. I cupped his skeletal face gently in my hands, trying to encourage him without frightening him off again. When at long last we parted, he smiled at me. "All right then. Go to sleep. I'll be here." I shut out the light and he went to the wall opposite my bed, hat down low on his skull, his head tilting down as he slipped into meditation.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I still don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Erskine, Fletcher, Caelan or Ghastly. Madame Lovegate is mine though. Val's still 24, story is still from her POV.

* * *

Several days later and I had picked up my clothes from Ghastly. Skulduggery didn't have to say anything; I had went home the day after the nightmare as there really was no case to work on, since the crime scenes were apparently now off limits for reasons unknown. That had never stopped him before, and I knew full well he was most likely roaming each one in our time apart. I just had to get my head on straight before I lost my partner and best friend as well. He was right of course. I was too young.

Plus, he knew how superficial I'd been with Fletcher and Caelan, so, I supposed, I had this coming. Maybe it wasn't real love on my part, maybe it was hero worship. At least from the way he had kissed me that night, I knew there was no love on his part, not romantic at least. I sighed and looked over at my armour, now clothed in Ghastly's creations. They were magical, highly expensive, and exquisitely suited to the armour. The duster now had a sort of shoulder cape that came down from the neckline, and attached down to the shoulders in front and back. It barely stopped from skimming the floor.

The hat had been redone, more in a Western style, the material now matching the duster. The rest of the clothing was identical to the first in colour, though the tailored shirt was not so fine. The suit was gone however, replaced by black trousers. Two Colt Peacemakers (45s) were holstered low over the hips on a leather gun belt brimming with ammunition.

Those were new, replacing the replica of Skulduggery's gun. It didn't bother me that the armour apparently changed itself at will, also adding other weapons I barely glanced at, but I vaguely wondered how single action anything was an improvement. Still, there were two of them. Interesting.

Dressed as it was now, it honestly looked nothing like Skulduggery, more like a skeletal gunslinger from the Old West. The overall look was more, menacing if anything, and I liked it. Somehow Ghastly had knew the train wreck he'd seen in front of him that night, and made the armour my own persona with the changes. I wanted to put the armour on, to feel that immense power again, but it was daylight and there was no good reason to. Still it was tempting. That night I'd have to appear before the Elders in full armour to prove I could control myself in it. So only a few more hours...

* * *

I stood before the mirror that night, in one of the Sanctuary's guest rooms, admiring myself. I was a living horror and I knew it. There wasn't one thing decent about the creature before me. It was if Skulduggery had been stripped of all his humanity, but the armour was no longer quite Skulduggery. The skeletal features seemed a bit more cruel that before, angrier. This was even when I was feeling content with my own self. When my expression changed, even to a smile, the armour made a mockery out of it. I was taken aback at first, and tried speaking to it, even though I knew it wasn't alive in the same way I was.

"Now, now, that isn't very nice, your expression will scare people." The voice that came out was masculine. Deep, raspy. Not a kind voice, nor a gentle one. I sighed and it sounded more like an angry growl. I tilted my head in amusement and the armour did seem amused. Or rather, I seemed amused. I just had to remember mastery was the key here, and it obeyed my will. The features relaxed slightly, I managed a half decent smile. I was handsome, wasn't I?

I nodded to myself and went down to met the Elders and Grand Mage. If they wanted to see me bonded to this armour, they most certainly would.

* * *

I strode into the meeting, the power of my masculine, albeit skeletal legs eating up the distance between me and the seated Elders. The Grand Mage looked at me in startled surprise. I usually walked in behind Skulduggery or stood silent at his side. But tonight I could feel venom and hatred coursing through my veins at the mere thought of him.

He was there of course, and I ignored him. I bowed my head slightly to the Grand Mage, touched the brim of my hat to the Elders. Madame Lovegate's face was twisted in horror and I felt savage glee over it. She was actually half climbing out of her wooden throne until Erskine put a hand on her shoulder.

He looked at her, then me. "This is still Valkyrie, Elder Lovegate, still our friend. Aren't you, Valkyrie?" He asked happily even though he looked every bit as afraid of me. He had courage, I'd give him that.

I chuckled in response almost like the amour was making me do it, and it came out in that deep raspy voice making them both cringe. "Of course it is still me, Elder Lovegate. I've just chosen to accept how very ugly I am. I seem to be taking on a more masculine persona, and although he, well, I, am not my usual self, I am still your friend."

She cringed away further, because my voice did not sound friendly. I sounded like I intended to kill everyone in the room, Skulduggery included. I winced, felt my armour do the same. "I apologize, Elders, Grand Mage. I'm just not taking people's physical reactions very well. I'm still me, I'm still in control, I just don't like be treated as a sideshow freak." The last words snapped out like a lash. This was not going well at all. They said nothing to this, and I sighed. It came out as a growl.

I knew if I didn't show more control they'd likely strip me of the armour. I rubbed the bony face of my armour with my skeletal hands, looking at them reflectively. I figured perhaps Ghastly was a better Elder to talk to. I forced myself to let go of some of the anger and for a moment my voice was my own. "Ghastly, it is still me. A little angrier maybe, but I'm still me. I suppose as whatever I've become in this armour I feel the natural right to be more aggressive. I'll try and reel myself in. I wouldn't hurt you or the others, you know that."

Skulduggery coughed politely and I swiveled my head in his direction. "I said I wouldn't hurt _them_ , you however, I intend to decimate in our next training session." There was cruelty in my new voice, but I smiled so he knew I was joking, and I saw him smile faintly back. I realized with a start he was afraid of me. No, not afraid, disappointed.

I felt the anger drain from me, felt the armour loose the expression of hate it almost always wore. "I wouldn't hurt you, Skulduggery, you know that. But I am a freak now, and I'm not doing too well with that. I'll adjust." My voice was still masculine and raspy, but softer.

Madame Lovegate had recovered, and spoke. "Not a freak, but a marvel, and apparently one we are lucky to have on our side. I do have potions that could make your nature sweeter if you wish."

I smiled, shook my head, demurely looking at the floor. Which must have looked creepy, considering. I kind of _liked_ being angry. I wasn't sure where the endless rage and desire to kill everyone in the room had come from, but it was fun in a way. Powerful. My skeletal hands swept the duster back of their own accord as I considered this, wandering down to caress the handles of the Peacemakers. Madame Lovelace gasped.

Ghastly snorted. "You _are_ him, just as he used to be. Can you manage not to kill him and everyone else you meet?"

I looked up at him from under the brim of my hat, nodded.

"All right then. I haven't seem you draw a gun or kill Skulduggery, so maybe you have more self-control than he ever did. Try and not kill him in training. That's all, you're both dismissed."

I bowed my head politely to all and sundry, and swiveled on my heel to leave. Skulduggery fell in beside me, walking lockstep with me. I snorted in amusement and he stopped, but a tilt of my head brought him along nicely. I realized idly that I wasn't thinking or speaking like my normal self, but ignored it. After changing and being thankful the armour collapsed down to a portable size, I went to my dark blue 1950 Chevy Sedan Convertible. Skulduggery had followed, silent. The keys to the Bentley in his hand.

I went to stow the armour in the boot of my car, and he put a tentative hand on my shoulder to stop me. "I thought it would be practical for you to return home with me. We can start training tomorrow if you like." There was a hushed tone in his velvety voice. I realized he really was afraid of me, or maybe disappointed. His head was bowed, he refused to meet my eyes.

"Skulduggery, it's me. I'm still Valkyrie. OK, so the armour makes me angry, but it doesn't make me hate you. I'd never hurt you, you know that." He nodded absently in response. I continued. "Skulduggery, look at me." I tilted his chin up. "You're my friend and partner. I'm not going to go insane and murder you in your sleep. I like you." _Well, hello 'back to platonic friendship' land._ I thought. But it would be better this way.

He nodded, seemingly relieved, and I stowed the armour gently in the boot of his car. He seemed happier once I got in, more assured and his old self.

"Well, that did go well. If you were really like the old me, you'd have shot me and everyone else in the meeting. But you handled yourself well, and of course you would because I taught you to. I was thinking of taking you somewhere on the way home. If we go somewhere that caters to sorcerers I won't need the disguise, but if you aren't hungry, we could head straight home."

I smiled at him. "Dinner sounds lovely. I was pretty angry, I'll admit that, but it wasn't at you or anyone else in the room. I was just angry, you know? I almost think the armour _is_ you, in a way. A very angry and wily you, by the way. He's very sneaky."

Skulduggery grinned at me. "Now, now. The armour might give you some of my personality, but I think you are wily and sneaky all on your own, as you recall I just got done telling you what a brilliant teacher I am." I laughed, it was good to be friends again. To be partners.

* * *

Skulduggery explained that the restaurant was more of an inn and happened to be on the way to the last crime scene. We pulled in and I looked at the low stone building. I had no idea there were still inns in Ireland that catered to anything but tourists. I followed him in, surprised he didn't even draw a glance. But then a lot of the patrons looked barely human. He led me to a booth in a corner. I ordered the steak, medium rare, a habit I'd picked up from Tanith. Coffee to go with, studiously ignoring the proffered wine list.

At Skulduggery's quizzical head tilt, I smiled. "You know I don't drink. I don't see a reason to start now."

He smiled, his shoulders relaxed. I realized from his folded hands there was something he wanted to talk about, but wasn't quite ready to. I felt he wanted me to guess. It clicked in place. "I don't think anything but the best of you, Skulduggery. You're, well you're a handsome man, as you've once said. But I went from being your pretty assistant to a ebony skeleton with anger management problems and a chip on his, well, my shoulder."

I neglected to mention memories had come with the armour. His memories. Part of the rage I was experiencing was his reaction to how people had treated him when he returned. The women had not been impressed. Nor had most men. Not that he had had time or inclination for women, having just lost his wife and child, but their screams had done nothing for his ego.

Considering how handsome he'd been in real life, it was a blow to him. He'd felt his own wife and child would have reacted in much the same way, and it killed him inside. Somehow the Skulduggery before me had learned to see himself as handsome, had picked up where his colossal ego had left off before he died.

My rage, although directed at myself and others must have seemed directed at him. He had taken the comments personally. The man before me still looked crestfallen, although he was trying mightily to look happy. I realized I had refused to call him a skeleton, even in my own mind. It seemed demeaning to him somehow. I pushed the though aside and continued. "I think I am handsome in that armour, really I do. I just don't like people's reactions. It upsets me. They treat me like a monster. OK, maybe there is some self-loathing in there, a little. But it is more from how others are treating and reacting to me. But I don't feel that way around you in the armour, not usually. You respect me, you still treat me like a human being, I appreciate that. I honestly think I'm going through an adjustment period, that's all. You should have seen me preening in the mirror before my debut." I said with a grin.

He smiled then, his body language perking up. "I've taught you all the good habits then, haven't I? I must say I'm severely disappointed in the direction Ghastly took your clothes, though. Not that I mind the Western era, mind you. I'm sure it was great fun, shooting all those people. Nice guns, by the way. Though the single action is going to be a drawback unless you practice." He had sat up straight, pleased with himself, but was waiting for my response, skull endearingly tilted to one side.

"My hands are much stronger in the armour, Skulduggery, and I'm faster. Shooting both guns at once might be a problem at first, but I know I'll have the speed and accuracy if you'll help me. Never as good as you, of course."

He flushed, something I didn't think I'd ever seen him do before. I was going to ask him how I read him so well, but the steak arrived. He waited until I was eating to answer. "Of course you'll never be as good as _me_ , Valkyrie. Only _I'm_ as good as me. But you'll be an even better combat accessory than before, provided you'll wear that armour more often. I was thinking you try it tonight at the crime scene. "

I looked up in surprise, and he preened. "If you have become me in a sense, you should be able to see what I do. You'll be much more useful now in an investigation." He said brightly.

"Throwing the old me under a bus, are you?" I teased. "Fine friend you are."

He grinned broadly at me. "Oh Valkyrie, I'm the best friend you'll ever have."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Darquesse or Valkyrie. Lawds yes, Val is still 24. Story is still her POV.

* * *

At the crime scene I donned the armour, hearing Skulduggery's faint murmur of approval. He gestured me over to his side, pointed down at the wet grass. We were in the middle of a wooded clearing. It was a bit creepy being there at night, even if I was dead. Alive. Whatever. "What do you see?" He asked.

"Nothing." I replied and he sighed in exasperation.

"Look harder."

"Grass then, but there aren't any patterns in it like something laid here or a struggle took place. There's no tears in the earth or loose sod. What am I supposed to be seeing?"

I heard him make an exasperated sound and looked up. His gloved hand was massaging the front of his skull.

"Valkyrie, exactly _how_ are you looking? With your living eyes or your dead ones?" At his mention of my expanded abilities I felt the night explode into light and colour, saw something in the grass briefly, but I reeled back, covering my eye sockets and groaning in pain. Skulduggery caught me, rubbing my back soothingly, the other gloved hand supporting my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry! I forgot what it was like, how overwhelming-" I heard him make a frustrated sound, tried to lower my hands to look at him, then clapped them tight to my skull again. I'd seen the real him. Not the shell Darquesse thought was him. But the soul embodied in the skeleton, the real, living skeleton.

The sight hurt so much, was so overwhelming that I fell to my knees. But I could still see him as he really was, how much better he was than living eyes could see.

"No wonder you stare in the mirror all the time. That must never get boring." I growled. I lowered my hands and was able to look at him.

"Yes yes, it is wonderful to be as handsome as I am, as you are now. You must see me in the same way I see you." He said, utterly chuffed with himself. Skulduggery helped me up, continuing. "But again, I apologize. It wasn't fair of me to forget like that. I just expect you to have learned all there is to know already. About being dead, I mean."

"You mean being a living skeleton, don't you? Truly dead ones tend to fall to pieces." I pointed out.

"Well, yes-"

"How do you live like this, all of the time? Just the sight is overwhelming."

He patted my back in sympathy.

"You get used to it, you truly do. Now if your recovered, what do you see? Think of who we need to find."

I looked down, seeing a confusing pattern my living eyes would have missed. I swayed slightly, Skulduggery placed a steadying hand on me. I gulped for air I didn't need then spoke. "There are footprints. No, they're more like the ghosts of footprints, if that makes sense. They are light blue, translucent. Faint animal tracks run over them, so they are older... There are others, but there are the only ones that stand out. The killer's?" I asked.

He nodded. "Indeed they are." He said happily. "What else. What clues did the living detectives miss?"

I walked the area slowly, being careful where I stepped. There was a strange area in roughly the middle of the clearing. I bent down, touched the grass. I could feel the ghost of extreme cold and withdrew my skeletal hand, shaking it. "The grass, here's where the victim stood. The grass where he stood was torn off at the tips by the killer. I'm guessing it looks frostbitten, as if the extreme cold of his body affected it."

"Very good, Valkyrie. Now why would he bother to take the grass?"

"It is either part of a ritual, or he thought the living detectives might see it."

"Or?"

"Or the affect is only temporary, and he knew you'd see it. He knows you're on the case. How could he when you were called in after?"

Skulduggery smiled at me. "That, my dear Valkyrie, is an interesting question."

* * *

I fell asleep in the Bentley on the way to Skulduggery's house. He shook me gently when we arrived. We went inside and he turned to me in concern. "Are you all right? You're as white as a sheet. Can I get you something?"

I nodded. Apparently the armour's enhanced senses were draining, and I felt slightly ill, like I hadn't eaten. "Coffee. Food, if you have any."

He led me into the kitchen and I sat heavily. As he worked I wondered exactly why he had installed a kitchen. He never cooked that I could see, nor did he need one. I tried not to think he'd went to the effort just for me. Surely it was a practical, logical decision. Another of our unspoken rules was that I never thanked him or asked him about such gestures. I was to behave as if it was normal for him to refurbish large portions of his house, even if he'd never done it for his previous partners or friends.

The coffee appeared on the table. He gave me a brief smile, patted my shoulder tentatively. I smiled at him, letting him know I was OK. Skulduggery turned, seemed unsure of what he was to do next. "Mmm, there's really not much food left, to be honest. Ah, here, whatever these are." He dug in a cabinet and threw a packet of Pop Tarts on the table. I didn't mind them cold. His cooking skills were terrible, at best, and I had visions of him getting a gloved hand stuck in the toaster. He had a tendency to meddle that did not work well with cooking appliances.

Skulduggery sat down across from me, seemingly at a loss for words. Now that was different. He looked at me. "You, well, what do you feel with the armour on?" He asked.

"Everything my skin feels. In fact it is more sensitive. I can feel the heat and cold of where things were. How, I don't know. But I could feel the cold from where the victim was standing."

"I thought you could. It was unsettling you know, for me to learn that. I can feel pain as I told you, but other things too. It is almost like being alive again." His voice was soft.

"Skulduggery, I've told you a million times; to me you are alive. You aren't some inert skeleton hanging in an anatomy lab, are you?"

"Well, no, of course not. Though I find the parallel rather insulting." He huffed.

"Sorry about that, but that's my point exactly. You aren't a thing you're _you_. You aren't dead either, or you'd just fall apart."

"So you keep telling me." He answered, dryly.

"But why do you ask?"

He shook his skull from side to side, indicating he had no reason. But he never did anything without a reason.

"Oh. This is 'What did I learn about my mentor?' is it?" I asked and he nodded.

"Not a blessed thing. We can't assume my experiences match yours. Even if they do, I don't know how you'd feel about them."

"But you are me, in a sense, aren't you?"

"Well, OK then. You want an emotional response?" He nodded. "Once I got over the sensory overload it was wonderful. It was a little easier to be clinical about things, to examine the evidence. But that didn't mean I wasn't excited. I felt, well, I felt-"

"Yes?"

"I felt like I was you for a moment and I was extremely pleased with myself. Then I looked at you and was even more pleased with myself, because I was able to look at myself in you. God that sounds so egotistical."

He made an amused sound. "Anything else?"

"About the case?" He nodded. "No, I was to busy admiring you. I was aware there might be more clues and that I should really search more, but looking at you was better than looking in a mirror. Now _that_ is egotistical."

"So you didn't notice the handprint where the killer leaned on a tree and waited for the victim to reach the clearing?" He asked with a sigh.

"Uh, no."

"And you didn't see all the areas where the pieces had lain?"

"No." I admitted.

He tsked at me. "Now my dear Valkyrie, and I say dear as in close to being mentally challenged, and therefore in need of my expert help and tender care, however are you going to be a detective if you keep missing vital clues like that?" My jaw dropped, and he ruffled my hair. "I'm teasing, you did extremely well, considering."

"Considering what?"

"Considering you aren't really me. Now go get one of those healing baths and some sleep. I'll look at the case files and see if the clues help shake anything loose."

"You know if I just put the armour back on I wouldn't need to sleep."

He shook his head. "It is certainly an asset, but look how much it drained you this time. No, you need training before you can wear it for extended periods. Agreed?" I nodded wearily, and he smiled, pleased with how easily he'd gotten his own way. I got up to leave.

"Valkyrie?"

"Yes, Skulduggery?"

"Sleep well."

"Thanks. Enjoy meditating." He snorted in response and I knew he wouldn't be meditating that night.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie or Ghastly. Val is still 24. This chapter tends to get a tad violent, you've been warned.

* * *

The next morning I stretched lazily in bed, I knew I should be getting up, but the bed was warm and the sounds of Skulduggery moving from room to room below were comforting. The smell of coffee reached me, and I shoved myself out of bed. After a quick shower I went down to the kitchen. A rather large pot of coffee was going. I blinked. That was new. So was his skill in using it. Skulduggery turned and smiled at me. "Good morning, Valkyrie. You rested well, I hope?"

I nodded. It was times like these I wished I could ask how he learned to do things so quickly. He gestured for me to sit down. "Hungry?" He asked.

"Famished."

"Good, here." He placed a takeout box on the table, complete with plastic silverware. The was an actual breakfast inside. Actual food, not the non-food he usually managed. I dug into the eggs and toast happily, barely restraining the urge to thank him. "You're going to end up in the poorhouse if you keep feeding me, you know." I said around a mouthful of egg.

"Nonsense, Valkyrie. One of the many charming things about me is my ability to have saved vast amounts of money in over four hundred years. Plus there was a time when I felt justified to helping myself to anything like money I would find in a criminal's home." I looked up, amused, and he continued. "I'm joking of course. Mostly I just shot people."

"I always thought you'd be the type to tie people to chairs and go to work on them with a lead pipe." I teased.

"Well, yes, there was that too. Happy times. But would you like to hear what I so marvelously deduced about our killer?"

"Your ego knows no bounds, but yes, I'd love to."

He nodded, pleased with himself. "Our killer is male, powerful, heavily built. Care to figure out how I deduced that?"

"The depth of his footprints, the size and shape as well as the height of his palm print?"

"Very good! I'd almost accuse you of paying attention. Now then, he's a Necromancer and old, very old. How did I know that and how did a Necromancer wield Elemental powers?"

"He''s using dead bodies, and the energy of the dead in his work."

"His magic." He corrected.

"His magic. His attacks, as you pointed out are Elemental. He's freezing the bodies through Elemental magic. How did you figure it out?"

"My dear Valkyrie, you disappoint me. You _have_ heard of autopsy reports, haven't you?" There was a smugness in his voice that made me want to rap him on the head.

I felt my temper flare. "Of course I have, but there wasn't one in the file." I growled.

"Telephones are a wonderful invention. You can call people like coroners on them. Imagine that." His sarcasm made me smile. At least he was feeling normal this morning. But he had mentioned old as well. He was waiting for me to take the bait, so I did.

"OK, how did you figure out he was old?" I asked and I swore his chest puffed out in pride. The man got stranger every day.

"You saw symbols that look like our sigils but are not. They aren't even runes, they are from a time before that, if they mean anything. The magic he's using is ancient from a time when sorcerers were revered as gods by many people."

"You're kidding, right? They saw us as gods?"

"Oh yes, indeed they did. Think of it, Valkyrie. You are a mere non-magical human living thousands of years ago. You have to fight animals to survive, your lifespan is short. Somebody hands you fire."

"Mankind discovered fire. Are you saying that sorcerers were more advanced?"

"Normal man didn't discover much of anything, I'm afraid. Fire was handed to him. From his gods, who were really just sorcerors, and of course they were more advanced. They were a better species."

"That's just cold."

"But true. As time went one the early people witnessed the battles and abilities of these sorcerers and worshiped them as gods. In return these false gods did bestow favors."

"You're saying man's concept of god is based on normal people misunderstanding sorcery?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He had to be kidding.

"Indeed it is. "

"You bring such hope and joy into my world, you know that?" I asked sarcastically.

He snorted, took my empty cup and refilled it. "I believe our killer is from that time, so long ago. There may be others like him, I don't know. But I do know being treated as a god made him view non-magical people as his to use as he sees fit."

"OK then, I get that. But why the murders, why now?"

"His power is running out. He's ageing at last, and it scares him. To his mind, he is a god, and gods don't age or die, at least not forever. He feels the ritual will restore his youth. He might even feel he is a god of the underworld, that would explain attacking in the dark of the moon. Perhaps he was worshiped then."

I thought back to our conversation at the crime scene. "How does he know about you, Skulduggery? What does he want with you?"

"Ah, that's the fun part. He's well aware of me, most likely well aware of most magical people, yourself included. His powers, while waning are godlike, after all. All of his victims up until now have been nondescript. Not even all that powerful or special in any way, really. He knew that would puzzle me, would make me think he was just a mere serial killer. But he also wanted me on the case, and he knew, knowing the Sanctuary, that I'd be called in because he knows what my dead eyes can see."

"But he'd have to be dead himself to know that."

"Not necessarily. He knows from Necromancy what the dead can see. You could too, if you chose to exploit them. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate your ring? Because I really do. But I'm leaving out the best part."

"Which is?"

"Go on, guess." He said brightly.

"He wants you, doesn't he? He needs you to complete the ritual."

"Yes, he does. And while I am immensely flattered I don't care to die again. So you and I will train today. I'm going to need you as my ally on this one, but you have to know he could easily kill you."

"I've killed gods before, Skulduggery. And if he so much as touches you, I'll kill him too."

"That's the spirit."

* * *

I was seriously regretting that spirit as we drove out into the country for a secluded practice area. There was a field where we sometimes trained, cloaked by magic. Skulduggery was never easy on me, ever. But I knew that now with the armour he'd be more ruthless. We had less than a month to train, not nearly enough time. I'd hoped to go slow, to start with the senses and build from there. We arrived and I donned the armour.

Without warning Skulduggery splayed his hand and twisted, the air knocking my away from the boot of the car onto the ground. He approached quickly, using the air to hold me in place. I raised my own hand, buffeted him with as much air as I could muster, but it was useless. I tried a fireball and he batted it away. He stopped and I had the distinct feeling he wanted to shoot me. He did draw his gun, and I drew a surge of air around me pushing him back, shielding me from the blast as he fired.

I rolled onto my feet and launched myself at him, ramming myself down low. But he easily rolled his body with the blow and caught me by the shoulders, picking me up and launching me backwards. I hovered in midair, loosing my temper. I realized belatedly what a good target I was making. Skulduggery launched twin jets of flame at me, and I barely soared up in time, and missed the blasts. I shot back a blast of my own and again he easily swatted it away.

I landed, crouched low, touched the ground. Nothing. I tried to raise the water in the air around me, and did. I formed a whip out of it through sheer willpower and launched it at him head. He ducked, reached up and caught the whip, and flicked his wrist, sending it slamming into the side of my skull.

I staggered, fell. I lay on my back, dazed. This was it, Skulduggery had finally gone insane and he was going to kill me. He strode over and stared down at me, arms crossed. "Get up! You think he's going to have mercy on you? Move, now!" He roared. I tried and fell down on to all fours. Skulduggery brought a knee up, smashing it into my face.

"Fight back, damn you!" He kicked me in the ribs, then brought an elbow smashing down on my spine. I snarled in pain, thrust myself sideways using the air, and he went over. I'd been wearing the ring that contained my Necromancy powers before I'd donned the armour and now I used it to draw on the shadows, to draw on the deaths the had occurred in this field. So many deaths. Darkness swirled around my fists and I slammed it into his jaw. He snarled, brought up one hand to smack me, open palmed, then he back-handed me. I shook my head trying to clear my vision.

"Use your dead senses!" He snarled, jabbing a fist into my throat. At his word I was once again overwhelmed. Blind, deaf, unable any longer to even smell the sweet grasses or to taste my own blood as it poured from my mouth. But I dug deep, and managed to stand. I felt him deliver a kick to my midsection. I rocked back, but didn't fall. I opened my dead eyes and looked at him. I snarled in hatred, opening my jaws wide to show him death was coming.

He snarled back, opening his own jaws in mockery. I clamped my own jaws shut, trying hard not to laugh. It was still Skulduggery, after all. He took advantage of my delay, Launching a column of fire that swirled around me, trapping me inside. I could feel the heat and panicked. I had no idea how to escape. The flames closed in. I tried to launch into the air, but his magic held me in place. My air affects only made the flames burn hotter.

"Water!" I heard him roar over the flames. I concentrated and felt a shell of it explode outward, growing higher and meeting the flames, killing them. Skulduggery stood in front of me and nodded.

"You let me douse the flames, didn't you?" I asked wearily.

"Yes, I did. But that's enough for today. Are you all right?"

"I'll live."

"You won't if you keep fighting as poorly as that."

"Skulduggery?"

"Yes?"

"What if he knows we are training? What if he just prepares himself and kills us both at once?"

"That's the spirit, always think positive. I'm sure he knows we are training. Hey, steady now." I'd started to weave on my feet. He came over and gently sat me down. He stroked the back of my skull, looped his skeletal arms around me and gently drew me backwards so that my skull rested on his shoulder.

"You did well today. Sorry about the knee to the face." He said gently.

"Think nothing of it, I'd apologize but I didn't manage to hit you."

"Well there's always next time, and you did manage to hit me once. But don't assume you'll ever scare an opponent, Valkyrie. Non-magical people might fear you, but he won't. You know, you have to get used to the fact that you don't have to stop in your attacks like the living would."

"I never thought of that. Do you think I have any chance of improvement, at all?"

"Of course I do. And if all else fails you can just shoot him."

* * *

I got out of the armour and was asleep almost the moment I sat in the Bentley. I woke up in Skulduggery's house, on the sofa. Everything hurt, twice. I suppressed a whimper and tried to sit up.

Skullduggery looked over from the book he was reading.

"Easy now. I've drawn you a bath. I would have just dumped you in clothes and all, but I thought you might drown seeing as how you were asleep. Can you manage?" I nodded in reply and got up to totter on stiff painful legs to the healing bath that awaited me. Afterwards I dressed for work and met Skulduggery in his office. I went wearily to my desk and sat down.

"Feel better?" He asked kindly. "Good. Ghastly wants to see us at the Sanctuary. We can get something to eat after if you like. I want to go to the last crime scene again. It is impossible to believe, I know, but I think I missed something." I smiled and followed him out to the Bentley. It was going to be a long night.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Wreath or Ghastly. Val is still 24, still her point of view.

* * *

The ride to the Sanctuary was fairly quiet. Then Skulduggery started speaking. "Penny for your thoughts."

"I wish I'd thought to put the armour back on. I wouldn't be this tired."

He gave a snort of amusement. "Although it is useful, Valkyrie, you should look at it as you do your ring. Something useful to draw on, yes, but what would you have done if it had suddenly failed?"

"Oh." I hadn't thought of that.

"Oh indeed. I'm training you because I'm thinking I need you as my double to fight this sorcerer, but maybe that is a mistake. We can do Elemental training if you prefer. Or," he said, glancing sideways at me, "we can dig up Wreath to continue your Necromancy training."

"Shut up. I hate you."

"Now, now my loyal partner. You get to choose which it is. Elemental or we train again with the armour."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I need to talk to Madam Lovegate about it first." Skulduggery fell silent then for the rest of the drive. It was heavenly.

* * *

We arrived, Skulduggery agreeing to meet with Ghastly first. I had requested to meet Madam Lovegate with a quick call to Ghastly, so she was waiting in her office for me. She smiled as I entered, a steaming pot of tea waiting. She did her pouring ritual, we played hostess and guest for a bit, chatting about nothing in general at first. But she wasn't over a thousand years old by default or stupidity. She put her cup down primly, I hurried to match her, knowing her body language by now.

"It's about the armour, isn't it, my dear?" She asked. "You aren't doing as well as the first time you wore it. In fact, you were weaker, I take it?" I nodded and she continued. "I tried to warn you, my dear, I am on your side. The curse of the armour is the weakness built into it. It takes on the true love's form, but if there is ever a moment when true love falters, the armour is almost useless."

I closed my eyes. So not what I wanted to hear. "But Elder Lovegate-"

"Nonsense child, just call me Madam Lovegate. We are friends."

"Madam Lovegate. It was a mistake. The form the armour took. I don't love Skulduggery, not in that way, and he doesn't love me."

Her laughter was high and tinkling. "Of course you love him, and he loves you. I've studied love magic for over a thousand years, my dear. I've seen couples do all sorts of things, like avoiding the truth. You weren't faithful with Fletcher or Caelan because they weren't the ones for you and you weren't in love with them. How anyone ever called them your boyfriends is a mystery to me. You knew from the moment you saw Skulduggery Pleasant he was the one for you. You didn't know in a romantic way of course, you were twelve. But even so, you knew."

"He was dressed like the Invisible Man when we first met." I protested and frowned. Had I known? I'd found him interesting sure, much better to look at than anyone else in the room considering how hot his clothes must have been. "Maybe I fell in love with the mystery, with magic, but not with him. I could be confusing the two."

She shook her head. I knew she was right. I also knew there wasn't much chance of getting the armour to work right unless a miracle happened. Skulduggery and I had agreed not to be together, in that way at least. I took my leave and headed for Ghastly's office.

* * *

The door was open, Skulduggery was seated. I had the feeling you get when you've been the topic of a conversation that just stopped right before you entered the room. I didn't like it much. But I sat quietly in the empty chair, all ideas of the armour and all the swagger it gave me, gone. Both men were silent. Ghastly raised his eyebrows at me.

"Elder Bespoke-"

He winced. "Don't do that, it's creepy."

"Sorry. Madam Lovegate and I had a talk." I hoped that would content them, but it didn't. I sighed. "There's a flaw built into the armour. It is just about useless, or it would take years of training to work around the flaw if it were even possible."

"You found this out after I made you new clothes? You're as bad as Skulduggery. You plan to continue your Elemental training then?" Ghastly asked and I nodded.

Skulduggery swiveled his head to look at me. This was news to him. "Are you sure you want her advice? All she ever does, that I can tell, is fiddle with spellbooks and potions. I'd rather you have Ghastly look at it, but if you are sure-"

"We don't have time, Skulduggery."

"Yet it is right outside in the boot of my car."

I sighed and nodded. He made a sound of approval for himself. "Good, be right back. Be nice to Elder Bespoke."

Ghastly growled at Skulduggery as he left, then turned to me. "You don't want me approving this armour, do you? Madam Lovegate told me about it. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but the word cursed is there for a reason."

I smiled shakily. "I don't know what to do Ghastly. I'm afraid for Skulduggery, not myself. If this sorcerer was a god, or treated as a god, what chance do I have in malfunctioning armour?" I asked and he shrugged.

"How did you get it to work the first time we saw you?"

"As long as I wasn't looking at Skulduggery, I was doing great. I ran for hours. The armour stopped vampire claws and bites. But when I got on the ground and saw him, my confidence dipped."

"So that's why you bled when the vampire hit you, and why you were so slow in practice?" He asked and I nodded.

Ghastly was about to reply when Skulduggery strode back in with the armour. "Here it is." He sounded cheerful. I had figured out how to touch it and make it expand but not wear it. Ghastly poked at it. He examined the clothing for damage.

"Exactly what am I looking for, Skulduggery? A tailor's shop isn't exactly an armoury."

Skulduggery shrugged. "Something's wrong with it. You fix things, so fix it."

Ghastly looked at me, seeking my input.

"Maybe it isn't defective, maybe I need to fight like I did the first time I put it on." I said.

"There you go! That's it, problem solved." Skulduggery nodded happily. "Well, collect your armour, Valkyrie, I'll go start the car. We have dinner and a crime scene ahead of us." He strolled out, very pleased with himself.

I gave Ghastly a helpless shrug and followed, armour in tow.

* * *

We stopped at the same inn as before, the corner booth waiting for us. Skulduggery sighed happily as we sat down. "At least that is over. I knew it was something simple. I trained you after all. Just remember how you fought in it the first time in our next training session. In fact-"

"You want me to wear it at the crime scene?"

"Right you are! I'm proud of you, Valkyrie, you're becoming a proper detective. I'll teach you about the senses there."

"You mean you'll let me flounder along blindly, laugh at my mistakes, and then point them out."

"That's what I said." He agreed happily. "I'll teach you."

* * *

At the crime scene I put on the armour then looked over at Skulduggery. I was almost used to seeing him as he really was, at least it didn't hurt my eyes as much. "Well?" I tilted my head.

"Deep subject, that."

"Ha ha. You said you missed something. What was it?"

"How should I know if I missed it?"

"Skulduggery, if you drug me out here on a snipe hunt, I'll kill you." The deep growl of my voice did nothing to impress him.

"You find it." He stared straight into my eyes, challenging me. I looked away first. I let the rest of my senses slowly expand, tested the air.

There was something off. I walked slowly. It wasn't in the trees, or on the ground. It wasn't in the air, but it was there all the same. A taste of some kind. I could taste the kill. I winced, glad that I couldn't be ill as a skeleton. "The kill, I can taste it... He enjoyed doing it. He sees it as his right. Skulduggery he was thinking of you as he did it." I turned to look at him. "You know him, don't you?"

I stopped as another flood of memories had come unbidden. Skulduggery gone and Lord Vile, the god-killer, stalking a nameless man across Ireland. I felt for a moment as Lord Vile had, the need to kill so I could prove to myself once more that I could kill a god. It almost overwhelmed me. I shook my head to clear it and looked over at Skulduggery.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Valkyrie." He was leaning back against a tree. His head was down, the hat tipped low over his face. "I've never met this man before in my life. Do you read anything else?"

I let it go. I couldn't press him without telling him how I knew. "Yes. I need to tap into the armour more efficiently. I know his weakness now. There is something that he fears. He never thought he was a god, but he's gone insane and thinks this ritual will make him one."

"And what, pray tell does he fear?" There was an edge to Skulduggery's voice.

"He fears he'll loose this fight with you."

"Ah, then perhaps my combat accessory," He nearly spat out the words, "need not attend."

"Oh no, Skulduggery, it will take both of us to kill him." I could hear the delight in my raspy voice. I didn't mind.

He looked up, startled. "You mean arrest, don't you?"

"Yes, that's what I said."

"No, you said it would take both of us to kill him. Are you sure you're fit to be on this case? Because if you aren't I can face him alone. He only wants me dead."

"Do you seriously think he would stop, Skulduggery?"

Skulduggery looked at me, hard. "This isn't like you Valkyrie. Armour off. Now."

I held up my hands in protest. "I apologize, I did mean arrest. But I tend to kill more gods than I arrest. I just didn't see it ending any other way. I'm sorry, Skulduggery, really. I'm just, worried about you. He could kill you, he could kill both of us, he's that strong." He said nothing, so I continued. "I'd rather kill him and have you arrest me than to have him kill you." I smiled, felt the armour respond graciously enough.

Skulduggery still stared at me. "Is this about something I've done?" He asked at last.

I went with the truth. "No, I have an almost overwhelming desire to kill him, that's what it's about. I can imagine, well, I can imagine all the ways in which I would kill him."

"Like ripping out his spine? Putting his head on a spike?" I nodded. He sighed and rubbed his face. "You would have to take after Lord Vile, wouldn't you? Yes, I remember him, and I remember never catching up to him. At one point there was no more point in being Lord Vile, so I stopped. I'm not two people, Valkyrie, no matter what anyone's ever said. I remember full well what I did as Lord Vile. Now apparently you do as well." He sounded bitter.

"I don't judge you, Skulduggery. You lost your family, you saw them killed in front of you. You still have that rage, you still miss them. As Lord Vile you put that rage to good use, albeit for the wrong side."

"Because the good little boys and girls of the world don't want a Lord Vile fighting alongside them." He said, dully.

"I would. Anyone with common sense would. Necromancy isn't evil, or it wasn't at one time. Drawing on the power of the dead may seem distasteful to you now, to me as well, but the shadows Lord Vile threw were the same ones I throw. Is there really that much difference between that and using the elements to kill an opponent?"

He looked up, I could sense him blinking. "You think all magic is unethical?"

"I think all killing is unethical. The good guys get badges and do it legally, that's all."

"But if good men do nothing, that is evil enough, isn't it? Would you stand idly by while innocents were slaughtered?" He sounded angry, that was good, I needed him angry.

"Of course not. I'd kill the bad guy, same as any decent person would. But does that make killing right? Doesn't the man I kill have a family who would see me as evil and want revenge?" I asked. I was getting angry too.

"You realize war is hell then? You aren't going to go on a mindless bender and slaughter everyone in sight at full strength?" He asked doubtfully.

"Good Lord, no."

"All right then, we begin training in earnest tomorrow then. Now that we both know who he is, and who you take after, I can teach you to channel that anger." I nodded. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery or Valkyrie. Valkyrie is still 24, still her POV. I know, this is really long. But I wanted to give them a sweet holiday of sorts.

* * *

Skulduggery was quiet when we got back in the Bentley. He sat with his gloved hands on the steering wheel. I could tell something was upsetting him, but I didn't dare say a word. _I just had to go and mention his family didn't I? Stupid, Valkyrie, just plain stupid._ I told myself angrily. As if he didn't live with the need to see them every day.

The thought caused a sharp pang in my heart. Yes, I was in love with him. But I knew he still loved his wife and child. I knew if he could he'd be with them. The strange thing was, I wanted him to be with them too. It was then I realized I could never tell him I loved him, ever again. That it wouldn't be fair to either of us. If I could go back in time and save his family, save him, I would have. I'd have given up every single day by his side just to see all the pain of the ensuing years lifted from him.

I felt a gloved hand touch my shoulder. I looked over. Skulduggery looked as sad as I was. He went to remove his hand, seemed to change his mind and left it, looking at me for permission. I nodded. "Valkyrie?" His velvety voice was soft, sad.

"Yes, Skulduggery?"

"This anger you are feeling, do you really think it is the way you should go? I saw you that first night. Yes, you reveled in the battle, but there was joy on your face. The pure joy of a true warrior. Lord Vile never felt that. He never fought for good, he didn't really care which side he was on, as long as he got to kill people, but I assure you he never fought to save a comrade. Do you know what it felt like? To the small part of me that was left to turn on the side I'd fought and died for?"

I let him talk, he needed to. "I needed you to save me from Lord Vile, do you remember? You had to fight me to save the Death Bringer. Lord Vile is me, no matter how much I pretend he isn't. I don't want to see you going down the same path. I don't want to loose you to the anger." He was silent for a moment, then continued. "I don't know what Madam Lovegate told you about the armour, but I do know she'd never tell you to embrace hate. It isn't what I want for you. Please, trust me on this. Find some way to fight like you did the night I first saw you. I was so proud of you then. You looked- You looked amazing."

He squeezed my shoulder, but left his hand there. "What did she tell you?" I thought I had imagined the words, his voice was so soft. He looked at me, and I could see the pleading written in his features. If he'd been a man of flesh and blood, he would have been crying. It was almost too much to take. Skulduggery Pleasant never cried. Ever.

"She told me to find the part of me that wore the armour that night. The good part of me. If I can just find that part again-"

"Yes?" His wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I knew it was as close to physical affection as he dared to go.

"If I can find that part again, I can fight like I did that night. You're right I did feel joy, because I was fighting for a just cause. Nothing you ever did, nothing any of you ever did gave the Sanctuary a right to abandon you like that. My God, Skulduggery, Ghastly is one of the Elders and they just threw him away."

"I know. We knew we were on our own. But I did hold out hope." I looked at him. He smiled. "I knew you'd come for me. I knew you'd find a way in and you'd rescue me. Not much of a hero, am I? Needing rescued all the time like that?"

"You are my hero, Skulduggery. I wouldn't have fought to save you if you weren't. I did what I knew you would do for me." He gave my shoulder a brief squeeze and withdrew his arm at last. We drove home in companionable silence.

* * *

At Skulduggery's house he seemed reluctant to part company. I knew he wasn't going to ask me to sleep on the couch. He was ever the gentleman and now he was caught between my adulthood and his need to be proper. So it was up to me. "Skulduggery, is it OK if I sleep down here tonight? I might want to get up and eat later or something."

"Of course, you want some more coffee? I think there's some left."

We wandered into the kitchen and he poured a mug once it heated. It was the consistency of tar and tasted divine. He was watching me drink. He often watched me eat or drink, he'd said once it brought him happiness. I smiled at him. I could tell he was lonely. I guessed lonely for his wife. Somehow it didn't bother me now. I was willing to let it be OK. I'd never had a problem with him loving her before, I'd rather hoped he'd continue loving her if we ever married.

But I'd never got the courage up to ask why he didn't have paintings of them like the hero did in the old stories I used to read by Edgar Allen Poe. I was thinking of 'The Raven' and smiling when he spoke. "What's making you so happy?"

"I was thinking of a poem I used to read."

He titled his head, his expression looked dubious, like he was trying hard not to laugh. "You read poetry? Valkyrie Cain reads poetry? Will wonders never cease?"

"I do a lot of things you don't know about. You didn't know about the Sinatra. I also read, and write." I cringed inwardly. Now he'd really think I had no life outside of our partnership. And he'd be right too. But he seemed to excited to notice.

"Write what?" He asked.

"Stories mostly." I shrugged. hoping he'd loose interest. I'd forgotten about his dream to be a writer one day.

"Where do your ideas come from? How does one write?"

I smiled. "You get an idea for a story in your head and it won't let you alone. You have to write it down or it will fill your mind until you can't think of anything else. The ideas just come into your head, you don't have to go looking for them."

He nodded. We really didn't talk about much of anything that night, but it was special all the same. When I at last stretched out on the couch, he only hesitated a moment before slipping into his meditation chair. I knew the level of trust he was showing by doing that, and the thought comforted me. I had no nightmares that night. Only dreams of running along endless rooftops in my armour, Skulduggery running at my side.

* * *

In the morning he had coffee ready. Breakfast too. Well doughnuts were close enough. I secretly loved how hard he tried when it came to feeding me, but his choices seemed to be random. Skulduggery Pleasant seemed absolutely clueless as to what to feed anybody, and I found it sweetly endearing. We drove out to the field after breakfast. He was silent all morning, but it seemed to be a relaxed, happy silence. He turned to me as we parked. "Now you are sure about this, Valkyrie?"

I nodded. "Yes, but can you give me a moment before you bat me around? It will just take a second, but I need to feel how I did that night."

We got out, and he titled his head before answering. "He won't give you a second, you know that. I'd like you to try and be instantly ready. I know it's scary, and I know for some reason you find it hard to wear that armour in front of me, but please try, Valkyrie. For me."

I walked to the boot, stared down at the armour. Skulduggery still held the tiny key remote in his hand. I knew he'd close the boot without a word if I asked. But I had to do this. I had to let my love for him to take over. The love and joy I felt running to his rescue. Because more than anything, he was my best friend in the whole wide world.

I felt my heart flood with warmth and I reached out, touching the armour. Instantly it was on and I flung my hand out, sweeping Skulduggery back several yards into the tall weeds. He went down, a surprised look etched on his skeletal features. He got up, came at me, both fists flaming. I let him come, put up a shield of air by mere gesture and watched his blows rain off of it ineffectively. I reached out giving the merest tap and it knocked him back again. He wavered, then stood. I could tell he was getting angry.

I grinned, forgetting he could see my expression. He dropped suddenly to the ground, touched the earth and it buckled underneath me. I rose into the air, but he rode a wave of undulating earth into me, sending us both crashing to the ground. I grabbed him, tried to flip him off by his shoulders. But he twisted, catlike, as soon as I gripped him, and flipped me up over him, to land with a heavy thud. I hit him with a fist of shadows, and he staggered back.

I arose, took out my sword. I advanced, slashing at him, but he deflected each blow with the air. I moved faster, swung harder, but Skulduggery was faster still. We blurred as I tried to strike him all over, but he wouldn't open his defenses. Then he was on the attack, shooting flames at me. One hit the sword and it glowed red hot. I threw it from me, hissing in pain. I drew my Peacemakers and opened fire. My agile and strong skeletal thumbs cocking the hammers back effortlessly and quickly.

The guns roared, but he still deflected any damage with his air shield. I holstered the guns and in that instant he was on me, a dizzying blur of elbows, knees, and kicks. Blows rained over my body and I couldn't get my defenses up. I shoved back against the air gaining distance. That's when he flung a hand towards me, and a bolt of electricity struck me in the chest. I felt the armour lock up, and he once again closed the distance, raining kicks and blows upon me. But the armour and clothing were holding up this time. I didn't feel the blows.

Still, I had to stop him somehow. I dropped to my knees and fell backwards, shooting my legs out to sweep him to the ground. But he evaded, almost dancing as he kept just ahead of my blow. He looked like he was laughing, at least he was enjoying himself. Then I remembered how much Skulduggery hated getting wet. I tilted my head as I splayed out my hand, and water slammed into him from all sides. I kept it coming, drenching him and making his suit stick to his skeletal body. I increased it through sheer willpower and his feet shot out from under him, and he went down hard. I didn't relent.

As I leaned over him electricity shot from his hands and the whole mess of electrifed water exploded outwards, causing my armour to stiffen again. Then he twisted his hand, bringing the fingers together in a fist. The water froze solid over the armour. I crashed to the ground, several inches of ice covering me. I could still see the smug smile on his face as he sauntered over, his clothes already dry. I managed to heat my armour by willing flames to the surface, then shook, breaking free of the ice.

Skulduggery made no move to attack, just stood grinning broadly at me, hands stuffed in his pockets, as I brushed the last of the ice off my armour. "You know you beat a girl." My voice was my own again. Yay.

"But I still beat you. You did much better than last time, though. Now you get to find the car keys." I shrugged and gestured towards the weeds he'd fallen into, the keys flew into my hand, or would have in he hadn't snatched them out of the air.

"Much too slow, Valkyrie." He teased, waving the keys before me. I shook my head, smiling. I reached up and touched my jaws, the armour coming away again. Instead of being tired as I expected I felt like I could run a marathon.

I returned the armour to the Bentley, gently shutting the boot. Skulduggery came forward, drew me into a happy embrace. "I'm very proud of you, you know. You did extremely well today, and I'm sure you'll do even better tomorrow." His hug tightened, and I hugged him back. Where was all this physical affection coming from?

* * *

We squandered the rest of the day listening to music and reading books. There really wasn't anything to do, although I idly supposed when he asked that I could go to Gordon's mansion for fresh clothes and some food for Skulduggery's kitchen. He nodded happily and we were soon there. He hesitated, seemingly unsure if he should follow me inside.

"Come on Skulduggery, you get to lift and carry heavy boxes. I understand you menfolk love that sort of thing." I teased and he laughed and trailed in behind me. I realized I hadn't seem him this happy in years, not since we first met. He must have been thinking the same thing, because he touched the front door fondly as we entered.

"Don't hurt my door, Skulduggery." I said, amused. He laughed. I suggested he go meet with Uncle Gordon while I got things ready. He happily agreed. I felt briefly that things were going too well then, but I shook the idea off. It was nice, if rather strange to see him so giddy. I put enough food in a cardboard box for at least a week, then grabbed a duffel bag from the hallway, already packed with fresh clothes. I walked up the stairs, intending to go to Gordon's old bedroom the fetch some books, but paused on hearing my uncle's laughter.

I wanted in the worst way to eavesdrop, but I respected Skulduggery and Uncle Gordon enough not to. I went on and collected the books. I came back, knocking at the door to Gordon's study.

"Come in, Valkyrie." Gordon called out.

I entered, noting that the change from his secret room to his study did him good at times. While he couldn't sit exactly, he did a good approximation of it in his chair. Skulduggery sat across the desk from him.

Skulduggery waved me lazily into the other chair. "Ready that fast?"

"Yes, but you two go ahead, you haven't had a proper visit for a long time." Skulduggery tilted his head in response, making an amused sound.

"You see what I mean, Gordon? She got in several good shots today and she's being nice now so I don't sue for abuse of a corpse."

I punched his arm lightly. He chuckled and I got up, leaving them to it.

* * *

Skulduggery was quiet on the drive back to his house, he looked at me several times, but said nothing. I could feel he had something to say and knew if I waited long enough he would. He made coffee without asking, then gestured me into his office.

I went to my desk, and he sat the mug down. He watched me drink. I'd noticed him watching me more closely lately. Along with the additional affection I assumed it was his way of showing relief that things had returned to normal. He was happy being best friends. I could tell. Skulduggery slouched against a bookcase, hat tilted down low over his head again. So, he wanted to talk but I had to make the first move. "Do we have any idea where the killer is hiding, Skulduggery? It would be nice to pick him up _before_ he tries to kill you."

I saw him smile, but he said nothing. "How do you do that?" I asked.

He looked up. "How do I do what?"

"Change expressions like that."

"But I don't-" He paused, looked at me. "You can see me change expressions?" He sounded pleased, as if it were one more thing that made him more wonderful than everyone else. Still he was in a good mood, so I indulged him.

"Yes, Skulduggery, I can. You do everything everyone else does. You even blink, though I admit that one is new."

He blinked in response. "I do?"

"You haven't noticed it in the mirror?"

"Well, yes. But nobody has ever mentioned it before in over four hundred years."

"You're kidding."

"No no. I would have remembered so I could tell you. After all being my partner you have to know about my many talents."

"And you awe-inspiring humility."

He chirruped in response. That was also new. "I am rather wonderful, aren't I?" He asked. Part of me wanted to insult him as I usually would, but I sipped my coffee instead.

He seemed to read my mind. "That was your cue to insult me, Valkyrie." Skulduggery wandered over to sit on the corner of my desk. He tilted his head to look down at me, removed his hat and tossed it on his desk. Even without the armour I could appreciate how handsome his skeletal features were. But I knew not to say anything. He continued to stare at me.

"What?" I felt myself start to blush.

"You look different tonight. There's something about you. Oh, yes, that's it. You're the young lady who threw me in the weeds this morning. You were quite pleased about it too, I noticed. You looked like the first time I saw you in the armour. You were happy."

"Yes, and you're the man who froze the armour off me."

"Skeleton."

"Man."

"Skeleton."

"Man first. I win."

He snorted in amusement. "I let you win. Will you stay up and talk with me tonight, Valkyrie Cain?" I felt myself flush again, but nodded. We talked until the early morning hours, Skulduggery seeming to not get enough time with me. I fell asleep at last on the couch, and he meditated in his chair. Life was as perfect for us as it was going to be for a long time.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Tanith, or Ghastly. Val's still 24, story is still in her POV.

* * *

I awoke later that night to thunder so loud it was shaking Skulduggery's house. Lightning forked across the angry grey sky, and at times it lit up the entire night. Rain slammed hard against the glass like liquid bullets. Skulduggery stood watching the elements serenely, his hands clasped loosely behind him. His long fingers flexed absently and I noticed he wasn't wearing any gloves. Skulduggery never took his gloves off, not even to meditate. But now I could see those perfect fingers, what his metacarpal bones looked when out of his gloves at long last. He turned his head to see me and swiftly moved his hands forward to stuff them in his pockets.

I knew he didn't like people seeing his hands, so I turned my head while he put on his gloves. His velvety voice drifted to me. "The Sanctuary called. The power is out there as it is here. I have a back up generator as do they, but they are nervous."

"So they want us to come in?"

"Yes."

I knew he wanted me to say something about his hands, but what was there to say? I'm sorry I saw them? That might imply I thought there was something wrong with them. Tell him that they were masculine yet still sculpted elegantly? That would imply something a partner shouldn't. Still he had caught me looking. "I've seen your hands before, Skulduggery." I growled.

"And such a lucky girl you are to have seen them, too. Because I know you admire my hands, you must think they are absolute perfection." I wanted to punch him for sounding so smug.

"I have nothing to say to that level of egocentrism." I growled.

"Yet I still caught you looking."

"Caught? Are you telling me you _planned_ to catch me?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Oh God, you're weird."

He laughed, came away from the window to stand in front of me. "Better get something to eat, we may be there for hours."

"I can't see what the big deal is, Skulduggery." I grumbled as we headed for the kitchen. " The Sanctuary runs mostly on magic anyhow. It isn't like a power failure will let the prisoners escape."

"While that is true, they are still nervous. Sanctuary officials don't like anything that might attract attention. It would seem that the Sanctuary took a lightning strike, and while not serious they don't want those we protect poking around."

"Ah." He ignored the supplies we had brought back once we reached the kitchen and handed over the box of doughnuts. I was going to lecture him one day on proper nutrition, when I myself actually cared about it. I ate quickly, gulped down some cold coffee and we were off.

* * *

Skulduggery turned on the radio in the Bentley, finding some of the older music he liked so well. I tried blocking the music out to listen to the staccato rhythm of the rain as it hit the Bentley in torrents, but he insisted on knowing if I could identify Basie, Ellington, and Fitzgerald. "You know," I grumbled. "I should be keeping up on modern music. You listen to this stuff all the time and it is all I hear. No wonder I don't have any friends."

He snorted. "You have me, Tanith, Ghastly, Madam Lovegate, and I'm fairly sure Lord Vile is rather fond of you."

I laughed. "Yes, and he shows how very much he cares by trying to kill me whenever he sees me."

"See? True friendship for you, that."

The radio suddenly cut out as the storm intensified. Hard winds rocked the Bentley. Skulduggery struggled to keep it on the road, but it started to fishtail in the flooded conditions. Luckily other than a few abandoned cars, we didn't have any traffic to worry about. "Skulduggery? Should we be driving in weather like this?" I asked, scared we were going to wreck.

He grunted in response, wrestling with the wheel. "Of course, Valkyrie. Duty calls." His voice was tense, and I fell silent letting him drive. I dug out my mobile instead to call Ghastly, but I had no signal. Skulduggery flicked his gaze over. "Well, that isn't exactly encouraging, is it?"

"No, it isn't. The radio, the mobile, you don't think-"

"No, I'm sure it is just the storm, ah, the winds are letting up at least. You see? Nothing to worry about." That's when a tree slammed across our path, electrical wires tangled in its branches. Skulduggery broke hard, twisting the wheel sharply. The Bentley hydroplaned, and we were forced back in our seats as it whipped around in a complete circle. The tree's massive trunk seemed to rush towards us, filling my vision. At the last moment the brakes caught, screaming in protest, and we snapped forward in out seats. Hard.

"Ow!" I complained. My whole back was sore. I would be lucky if I didn't have whiplash.

Skulduggery sat with his hands on the wheel, head tilted forward. The look on his face was terrible.

"Are you all right, Valkyrie?" His voice was quiet. I could tell he was ready to explode in anger.

"I'm fine, a bit sore but I'm OK. Are you all right, Skulduggery?"

"No I am not "all right". That tree almost hit my car. My _car_ , Valkyrie. My Bentley. I'd like to get out now and kick it to death. But I'm not going to do that."

"Why is that?"

"Because my door is jammed. Is your door jammed, Valkyrie?" His voice was still dangerously calm.

"No."

"Good. Excellent. Then will you please get out, so I may get out? I want to kill that tree, Valkyrie. I want to turn it into sticks. I want to turn those sticks into slivers. I want to turn those slivers into wood dust."

"There are live power lines dangling in the water, Skulduggery. I don't think even you should go out there." We watched the lines jump and writhe like living things. He sighed, shifted, and drove silently around the fallen tree. I didn't dare say a word for the rest of the drive.

* * *

When we arrived at the Sanctuary the building was in chaos. Frightened sorcerers jumped at every boom of thunder, and a group of them were valiantly trying to repair the damage to the outside of the building. But it was slow going and the corner where the lightning had struck was still smoking around a gaping hole. "Oh God, Skulduggery, I thought you said there wasn't much damage. That's where the guest rooms are. My God, that's Tanith's room." I said as we broke into a run.

"That's a new strike area. That's the one Ghastly called about." He pointed lower, and as we hurried past. I saw the stone was scorched, but not damaged. We ran to Ghastly's office, but he wasn't there. Out in the hall Skulduggery grabbed a passing sorcerer. "Ghastly! Where is he!" He barked.

"Operating room." The man gasped. Skulduggery let him go and we raced off. Ghastly met us at the doors, he looked stricken. I tried to run past him, to go to Tanith, but he grabbed my jacket, hauling me back.

"No, Valkyrie. They're operating now. They say, they say, she might even make it if we're lucky." There were tears in his eyes, and he wiped at them angrily. "Why her? Why her and not me?"

"It will be OK." I soothed. "You know how strong she is, she's going to make it." He nodded, breathed shakily and sat down. I'd never seen him this upset before. He hung his head, not looking at us. I looked at Skulduggery helplessly. I felt numb. Why had it been Tanith? She didn't deserve this. They loved one another. I wanted more than anything to have the power to heal her. I wanted it so bad I could feel it course through me. Then my armour was somehow on, the hands glowing.

I got up, staring at them. Healing power shone forth. A doctor came to the door, his own hands shaking, they had failed her. I shouldered past him, went to where she lay still and cold beneath the sheet. I tore it back roughly. Looking at her ravaged body, a cry escaped me. I placed my skeletal hands on her, felt only the desire to heal her. The power surged forth, her wounds started to close before my eyes. Burns crawled back into nothingness, shattered bones reknit themselves. I could almost see inside of her, to see her heart as it repaired itself and began to beat. But I could feel the healing energy was draining my own vitality. I felt more power drain from me as she gasped, her lungs filling with air. Her eyes opened and it was the last thing I saw before the darkness consumed me.

* * *

I awoke on the hard floor, Skulduggery bent over me. He picked me up gently. "Valkyrie! We thought we lost you!" His skull dipped to meet mine. I met him, happily, pushing my forehead into his. Somehow my hat was missing and my jacket and shirt were open. He saw my confused look and seemed to blush.

"We, we couldn't find a pulse." He mumbled. "The armour refused to come off, and when we couldn't hear you breathing..."

I heard snorted laughter, and looked over his shoulder to see Tanith. She was leaning woozily on Ghastly. I grinned broadly at her then turned back to him. "God, Skulduggery. I'm a living skeleton at the moment. It isn't that easy to kill me." He was _definitely_ blushing now. He helped me stand gently, picked up my hat, and handed it to me.

"Right, then." He mumbled, leaving with Ghastly. Tanith and I looked at each other and burst into gales of laughter.

"I tried to tell them you're a skeleton now. Hello?" Tanith said, gasping.

"They thought I should have a heartbeat? And be breathing?" We collapsed into each others arms, snorting with laughter. A doctor wandered in, saw us both alive, and yelped. He turned and ran back out the door.

Tanith looked at me and stuck her arms out. "Attack of the zombie women, roar!" We giggled. I reached up and touched my jaws the armour coming away easily. "That armour jump-started you back up, Valkyrie. It was awesome." We smiled and hugged, turning to see the doctor being marched back in by Ghastly and Skulduggery. He examined us, pronounced us both alive, then fainted. Tanith and I burst out laughing again.

* * *

As the chaos in the Sanctuary calmed, Ghastly invited us to his office. The repairs had been made, and more importantly, Tanith was alive. Even though the Sanctuary doctors demanded Tanith stay in a proper bed, she'd moved into Ghastly's office, stretching out on the couch before the fireplace. Ghastly stared over at her fondly, then turned to me. "Thank you."

I waved it away. "She's my sister, Ghastly. I had to."

"That's because you have a good heart." I turned to see Madam Lovegate enter. She had a healing potion for Tanith she insisted she drink, never mind what the so-called doctors had to say. Tanith made a face, but drank it. Her colour looked better, and soon she drifted off to sleep. "Ah, there now, see? She'll be right as rain come morning. But you, my dear, I didn't know you were a healer." Madame Lovegate said as she came over and gripped my hands gently in her own. "I'm most impressed. You did what no doctor could. You saved your friend without a second thought. If you ever need anything, come to my office. The Sanctuary is so lucky to have you. We are in your debt."

She gave my hands a quick squeeze and left. I heard Skulduggery snort in barely suppressed laughter. He knew I hated people make a fuss. I shot a glare at him. "Shut. Up." I growled.

Ghastly got up to make tea. He smiled over his shoulder at me. "But, Valkyrie, the Sanctuary is sooo lucky to have you." He said in a high, mincing voice. "We are in your debt." He snorted, turned back to his tea preparation. My face burned red.

"Will the two of you stop fussing like old biddies? I didn't do anything special."

"Oh, we aren't fussing, Valkyrie, we're laughing at you." Skulduggery said cheerfully.

"Yes, yes we are." Ghastly agreed, bringing the tea and two mugs to his desk. "But I am happy you were here to help. Did you know you could do that?" I took the proffered tea. It was a lot better than anything Madam Lovegate ever made.

"I had no idea. I don't even know how my armour got on me."

"You're proving to be a wonderful teacher, Skulduggery. She has to figure out everything on her own as she goes. Tell me she at least managed to beat you up in training today."

Skulduggery looked pleased with himself. "Of course she did, she's _my_ combat accessory. The armour is working perfectly now, as you can see."

Ghastly snorted again. "How has he ever managed to actually teach you anything, Valkyrie? God!"

Skulduggery looked at me expectantly. I smiled sweetly and didn't say a word.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Tanith, Cleavers, Wreath, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24 still her POV. 'Too Cool To Fall in Love' is a song by Jill Sobule.

* * *

Skulduggery was still amused when we went to the Bentley. It was early dawn and the roads back were a mess. I fell asleep, hard. When I awoke I was on the couch, Skulduggery's meditating form across from me. I looked out the window. By the sun we had slept through most of the day. I supposed we could get some night training in, but seeing how hard he was meditating, I just padded past him to the kitchen.

I'd never seen him meditate that hard before, but to be honest I'd never been around him for this much time before. Normally he would have dropped me off at Gordon's mansion and picked me up daily. I hadn't questioned it at first on this case. I did after all need the training. I needed as much time with Skulduggery as possible off the field too to learn how to control myself. Still, was he letting my age afford me some privileges he wouldn't have before? I tried to brush away that line of thought as I made some coffee.

 _Skulduggery Pleasant is not like that._ I told myself. He saw no difference in me as a partner now as he did when I was twelve. He'd always treated me as his equal, so this wasn't my age making him act differently. What then? I knew how dangerous the case was, and I knew no matter what the dangers he wouldn't deviate from his normal behavior unless he had a good reason. Maybe he was just relieved to have me back as a friend. That had to be it. I took my coffee back into the living room, well the one he was mediating in.

I wasn't there long when his head shifted. He stood, smoothing out his dark blue suit and reaching for his hat. He looked at me as he adjusted his tie, tilting his head. "Ah, Valkyrie. You're awake, then? Good. I should contact the Sanctuary. If they don't need us for anything else, we can always continue your training if you like." I nodded, watched as he pulled out his mobile. From his side of the conversation I could tell we weren't needed. "Did you eat?" He asked, pocketing his mobile.

"Not really. I'll get something later."

"Make it now, please. I want you ready soon. I've never given you training in the twilight. I'm interested to see if your armour helps you override your normally amusing habit of stumbling around blindly then."

"Everyone sees poorly then, Skulduggery." I snapped, going into the kitchen and grabbing the first thing I could find out of the box and eating hurriedly.

"I don't." He said smugly. "You however, have a tendency to trip over things. It's most amusing. Perhaps with the armour you won't be as clumsy. Done? Good, come along then." I suppressed a growl as I followed him to the Bentley. It was good to see him back to his usual insensitive, self-adoring, insulting self. But still. There were times when I wished he was a little nicer. I decided to get a dig in.

"You know Skulduggery, Wreath would have told me how wonderful the twilight is, and gone on about Necromancy. Are you sure you don't want to give me the same speech?"

Skulduggery snorted in contempt. "Seat belt." He waited until it clicked. "As I recall you loved punching Solomon in the face, but then so did I. Nasty man, that. But it is good to see you back to normal. I was beginning to think you had respect for my authority."

I laughed. "You have no authority over me."

"Yet, I am your mentor."

"You're a bad influence is what you are."

"I never claimed otherwise. "

* * *

Skulduggery was right of course. When we got to the field I promptly stumbled over a rut walking to the boot of the car. "Are you all right?" He asked doubtfully.

"Yes, I'm fine. " I growled. I paused before reaching for the armour. If I touched it while I was irritated he'd be on me.

"Something wrong? You're not ready, are you? Touch it anyhow, this should be amusing." I did and he snapped his palm out towards me, and I shot backwards off my feet as the air hit me square in the chest. That only made me angrier. But instead of continuing his attack, he only pressed the air down, pinning me. "You can't see too well now can you? The armour is all about useless to your right now because you're so angry. Do you think he'll wait for you to find your good mood, Valkyrie? Because he won't. " Skulduggery towered above me and stared at me, steadily. "What would you do if I were him? What could you possibly do to stop me right now?"

At his words I remembered exactly why I was training so hard. That this was Skulduggery Pleasant, my best friend and mentor, though I would have died before admitting the last part to him. He was the man, the skeleton, I'd die to protect, and no one, not even a god was going to hurt him if I had anything to say about it. I felt the ferociously protective love for him flood through me, and instantly my dead senses came flooding in. So did my power. I pushed the air he was using to pin me back at him, and he staggered. I was up, kicking and punching before he could recover.

I got in a lucky shot to his jaw, and his head snapped back. I took advantage and delivered a a high kick to the ribs, sending him upwards and backwards. Skulduggery stretched his arms out as he flew, and suddenly he was hovering above me. He was also more angry than I'd seen him in a long time. He splayed his hands out and I felt my hat fly off my head. He made sharp, quick gestures, and I felt my sword and guns fly away as well. Even before I could react he had landed and touched the ground. It rose up, sealing my weapons in a mound.

He stalked towards me, a look I didn't like in his eye sockets. Suddenly he wasn't my opponent, he was Skulduggery, my friend. I didn't even try to defend myself when he delivered a jarring smack to my face, then followed it up with a back hand. I reeled away from him, trying desperately to remember I had to fight back. What is wrong with me? I wondered, as he kicked me in the ribs, sending me sprawling. If I was angry with him the armour was useless, if I was looking at him as my friend, the armour was useless. Then I knew. I had to see him as the enemy, as he'd taught me to or my love for him wouldn't give me strength.

He used the air to flip me over, and his foot was racing towards my face when I brought my hands up and barely caught it. I twisted and he went down. I had to get up, I had to. What if he was the enemy and Skulduggery was hurt? I reached out and grabbed his leg before he could rise, over twisting it as he had taught me. But he managed to flip off the ground using the air, and spun gracefully with my twist, slipping out at the end and shooting forward to deliver a nasty kick to my face. The armour held though, and I clicked my fingers, sending a fireball towards him.

He used the air to deflect most of it, but the flames caught his hat, greedily devouring it. He tossed it off as we both rose, and glared at me. I laughed and sent a colum of water smashing into his chest. Skulduggery staggered back, and grabbed the water in his hands, but I was ready this time, and soon as he had a good grip I snapped my hands up sharply, flinging him high into the air. He dove towards me, throwing a ball of fire, and I barely got up the air to defend myself in time.

He crashed into me, and we both went sprawling. He was up first, touching the earth so that it rose up around me, pinning me helplessly. The ground compacted even more, and I could feel the armour withstanding the pressure, but even it wouldn't hold up long if he chose to compact the soil completely. I tried to use air, tried to move, but it was useless. I called on water, tried to manipulate it into the soil, but he was easily thwarting my efforts. I started to laugh, I couldn't help it. Skulduggery paused. "What's so funny?"

"I know that technically I'm dead, Skulduggery. But isn't the burial mound a bit much?"

He snorted and at his gesture the earth fell away. "Are you all right, Valkyrie? I was seeing if I could crush you with it. Sorry."

"I know you were, and you most likely could have. Luckily I'm dead and if you dropped your concentration the armour would have revived me and I'd have made you regret it. If you were the bad guy, of course."

"You're sure about this theory?" He sat down and gestured for me to sit back like the day before. He held me, stroking my armoured skull gently.

"Yes, I can't explain it. I suppose being dead I can't die. Tanith said the armour jump-started me back into life, well death, well whatever it is I am now."

"A living skeleton."

"There you go. Living skeletons being rather hard to kill, I gather."

"Yes, that's what makes us so charming. Shall we go see Tanith? I'm sure by now she's starting to annoy Ghastly. He said on the mobile she's up and restless."

I agreed and we were off, Skulduggery returning my unearthed weapons and hat to me with a snort of amusement.

* * *

Skulduggery has suggested I leave the armour on so we could see if anything happened that shouldn't from extended wear. I agreed, pulling my collar up high, and slouching my hat down so anyone in a passing car wouldn't get a fright.

He had his disguise on, even at night, another hat having been stowed underneath his seat for emergencies, and glanced over at me. "That's quite effective. A bit scary, but effective. There's a present for you in the glove compartment."

There were gloves there. Like his, but clearly designed by Ghastly to match the rest of my clothes. They flared out slightly past the wrists, and went back an inch or so under my coat sleeves even when I stretched my arms. I slipped them on, appreciating the warmth. It was chilly after the previous day's storm, though the day had been warm. There was also a scarf, of the same material. I lowered my collar and put it on, bringing the collar back up. My skull was mostly obscured. You could still have made out my eye sockets if I was close, but the wide brim of the hat and collar hid them in shadows.

"There you are. Can't have you frightening people, as much as I know it amuses you." He said with a chuckle.

"But frightening people is fun, sometimes at least."

"Outside the Sanctuary we have to be careful. You can't have non-magical people seeing you as you are now." I noted he avoided the word mortal since he knew I hated it. We could both die, we both would die some day. We just took longer to get there than most people.

* * *

Tanith was hyper and excited to see me as usual. She slammed into me the moment we reached Ghastly's office. "I'm so happy to see you! The sorcerers here are so boring and there aren't enough Cleavers to have one to train with. Tell me we'll get back to training soon, I'm so bored!" She whined.

"For a woman over a hundred, she's quite the wordsmith, isn't she Valkyrie? But you two children run along and have fun." We both gaped at Skulduggery as he escorted us out of Ghastly's office and closed the door.

"Did he just call me a child?" I sputtered. "I'm twenty-four!"

"Oi! I'm over a hundred! But who needs them? Ghastly's been doing the same thing all day."

We started walking. "What same thing?" I asked.

"Serving me tea, trying to make me rest. Telling me I had so much 'youthful energy' as he put it. I'm telling you sister, I think he feels I'm too young for him."

We reached a training room and slipped inside. It was empty, and much larger inside that the door would indicate, but with no imagination. It looked, honestly, like an abandoned squash court. I slipped off the scarf and gloves, pocketing them. I liked not having to hide with Tanith.

"Shouldn't you try those gloves out? Make sure they hold up?" Tanith asked, already prowling around me. I nodded, was slipping them back on when she pounced. I idly side-stepped. She staggered slightly, clearly too tired to fight. She drew a face, and we both went to sit against on of the walls.

"Sorry, thought I was back." She murmured, hanging her head.

"You are back. Skulduggery smacked me around good today, I know how you feel."

"Speaking of feelings-"

"Don't go there, please."

She sighed. "What's wrong with us, Valkyrie? Why couldn't we pick men our own age?"

"Well most of the men your age are dead."

"Oi! At least that's better than the unemployed slackers living on the Dole you get to choose from." She slapped my arm and we both lost it when she added: "Cow."

I shrugged after I recovered. "We can't choose who we fall in love with, Tanith. You know Ghastly loves you. But you also know how quiet he is. Just find a way to blow off some steam and let him have his quiet. He was terrified when you were in there, you know. He wished it was him, not you."

"Bloody hell. He said that?"

"Yes, he didn't tell you?"

"No, and you're right, he is quiet that's what I like about him. I'll find something to do. Do you think you can stay?"

"I wish I could. But we have a case to get to and Skulduggery's having a grand time batting me around."

"But I bet you're giving as good as you get."

"Well I burnt his hat."

"I wouldn't do that again, if I were you. But how is it going, the training I mean?"

"If I'm mad at him it doesn't work. I can't think about him as my friend either. I have to see him as the enemy. He taught me to fight, I know that. It's just harder to do now, considering."

"So that's what Madam Lovegate was burbling on about. She kidnapped me and made me have her dreadful tea in her office. She was all on about how grand love is, and how nice it is to have two couples in the Sanctuary. The armour, it has something to do with how you feel for Skulduggery, right? I thought as much when I first saw it."

"Well, duh." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Does Skulduggery know?" She asked gently.

"Surprisingly no. After that first night he's chosen to see it as proof of what a good influence he's been. Maybe he's right. But we agreed we aren't going down that road. Besides, I'm too cool to fall in love." Tanith shook her head and we headed back to Ghastly office. Ghastly was waiting for us, a pleased smile on his face. Again, I got the uneasy sensation that I'd been the topic of conversation. Tanith said nothing, just wandered over for a mug of tea and sat on the couch.

"You like the scarf and gloves?" Ghastly asked.

"Yes, very comfortable, not too warm indoors, surprisingly. Do they adjust like the clothes you've made me before?"

Ghastly nodded. "You'll be needing boots next." I started to protest, but he waved his hand. "You can't have mortals seeing your armour. Even if they don't scream, it would impede an investigation. Come by the shop tomorrow and I'll measure you."

I nodded, wondering how I could politely offer to pay. Skulduggery of course, cut me off. "All of your upgrades are getting expensive, it's a good thing I don't have to eat."

Ghastly smiled. "Neither of you are paying. I want to try a new material out and unlike my or even your shoes Skulduggery these have to flex differently from the armour being inside. It shouldn't even work, but I like the idea of the challenge." Skulduggery grunted but said nothing. Ghastly smiled at me, a bit too sweetly. "Guess who wants to train with you tomorrow? Madam Lovegate. Aren't you lucky?"

I would have went ash white if it weren't for the armour. Skulduggery saw my reaction and laughed. "What are you so afraid of? Is she going to make you drink tea and have biscuits?" He asked in a mincing voice.

"Skulduggery, I do read, remember? She was a terror during the war. She wiped out two battalions by herself. By herself!"

He waved a gloved hand at me airily. "Yes, and that's the last thing she ever did. She doesn't train. She just makes those nonsensical potions. Not that her healing talents don't impress me, Valkyrie, but the most that woman will do you tomorrow is bore you to death. I'd watch the fun, but I'm training with Ghastly tomorrow."

Ghastly laughed into his mug of tea. "I heard all about his hat, Valkyrie. The man wants revenge. Maybe if you're lucky I can land him in the infirmary." We all laughed, but I knew if I wasn't careful facing Madam Lovegate the next morning we'd both be there.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly or Valkyrie. Land's Sake, yes, Val is still 24. Story is in her point of view. Thanks go out to **mysteryHuntress** for the review.

* * *

We slept at the Sanctuary that night, or rather I paced up and down in my assigned room, bored out of my skull. Ghastly had agreed to see how long I could leave the armour on so I didn't need to sleep or eat, or do any of the other things I was used to filling up my time with. Skulduggery was up as well. We'd been assigned rooms on different levels by a rather prudish Sanctuary official, but it had taken Skulduggery about five minutes to come rapping on my window in boredom.

I let him in, amused to see him perched outside and he returned my smile with a tip of his hat before climbing in. "Well, well! Aren't you the improper young lady, letting in gentleman callers at this time of night?" He teased.

"I felt sorry for you, you looked cold." I said, sitting in one of the wingback chairs by the fireplace. Skulduggery took the other at my gesture.

"Indeed. Any further thoughts on the case?"

I was surprised he was asking my opinion. It wasn't the first time, but it was rare for his to just ask with no preamble.

"I feel like we're missing something, Skulduggery. He's alive, so he has to be living somewhere. Even if he is a survivalist there has to be traces of him. I have a feeling he's close, and laughing at us."

"I thought so too. We have as many detectives searching for him as possible. I have contacts looking, but so far, nothing. He has no friends..."

"Yes?"

"What if he does, Valkyrie? What if he has assimilated into the normal world? Plastic surgery and I wouldn't know him from Adam. Or even in the magical world. We've seen it before. The mundane person used as a hiding place."

"Then he could be anywhere, Skulduggery. Even in the Sanctuary. Did the crime scenes tell you anything? Did he leave some sort of message for you?" I asked.

Skulduggery stared at me hard. "What makes you ask that?" He asked warily.

"Because he's obsessed with you, Skulduggery!" I said, feeling frustrated. Why was he fighting me so hard on this case? "If he were a certain type of serial killer everything he was doing would be in its own way a deranged love letter to you."

Skulduggery was quiet. "No, I almost wished there was. I don't even remember what he looked like or what his name was, and I can hardly ask Ghastly if he remembers who Lord Vile was hunting. The symbols, even our best linguists can't make out anything. They're gibberish."

"The body parts?"

"Again no. Lord Vile did a lot of things, but worshiping gods and ritualistic slaughter weren't two of them. I have no idea what they mean."

"They might mean nothing, he _is_ insane."

"Yes, but he remembers Lord Vile hunting him. Wanting him dead because he was a god."

"Because if all the gods were dead the world might make sense again."

Skulduggery blinked at me. "Yes, how did you know?"

"It's what anyone would do, Skulduggery. All the loss you went through. Lord Vile needed to make sense of that too."

"No one's ever said that before. No one ever considered that Lord Vile even had feelings. I told you once I was falling and couldn't stop. I thought, and this made sense at the time, that if Lord Vile just killed enough people the hollowness inside would go away. That maybe somehow it would restore the world to what it was, that I'd have my family back. When I realized it wouldn't work I just killed to prove I could. War became my life, was all I was. I was nothing, just an empty armoured shell fueled by endless rage. You know, you have a way of bringing up the most cheerful topics of conversation." He smiled.

I laughed. "But you aren't that way now, Skulduggery. You put away Lord Vile. You don't deserve this nutcase being after you. Nobody deserves that. When I felt the anger, when I feel anger as I am now, I have to remember what it is I'm fighting for. I can't be held responsible for my actions if he-"

"Don't even say that, Valkyrie! Don't even THINK it. Swear to me, that no matter what, you do not give into that anger. If you do everything I've ever taught you will have been for nothing."

I sighed. "All right, but when I don't get revenge I don't want you sitting on some cloud in Heaven miffed at me. Don't you dare come back and haunt me, Skulduggery Pleasant."

"Haunt you, perish the thought! If I did manage to come back, and for you I would, our partnership would pick up where it left off. I would of course be even more handsome and dashing than I am now, and you'd have to beat off the women with the stick I got for you, but you'd adjust."

I sighed and rubbed my skull. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Skulduggery was kind enough to teach me to meditate however, so it wasn't long before the sun shining through the window awoke me. Skulduggery was already up, admiring himself in the mirror. He was wearing a pin-striped suit, almost the twin of the one from yesterday and a matching hat he tilted rakishly down over one eye socket. His other suit was folded on the bed, neatly pressed, the matching hat on top. No doubt the Sanctuary official was having fits over him having roamed during the night.

Skulduggery turned and beamed at me. "Good morning, Valkyrie! Good to see you up. Feels wonderful doesn't it, to meditate like that? Now you're all ready to go have tea and crumpets with Madam Lovegate, and won't that be fun?" He teased.

"It's going to be training, Skulduggery, and I doubt she'll be gentle. Try not to get your teeth knocked out by Ghastly." He laughed and we left for our respective appointments. I was sure he was going to enjoy himself, but I dreaded facing Madam Lovegate.

She was waiting for me in a training room, the exact double to the one Tanith and I had been in. Any mats had been cleaned out, the hardwood floors left bare. She stood regally, her hand resting on the pommel of a broadsword, and I knew this lesson had nothing to do with cotillion. "Good morning, my dear!" She said warmly as I approached. "Are you ready for your lesson?"

I nodded. "Excellent, I thought we could do some sword training. I know from your armour you should have all the skills both your great grandmother and Skulduggery possess, but I'm not exaggerating when I say I can surpass them."

"Madam Lovegate?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"In the armour if my emotions aren't right, I'm useless. How do I hold on to the right ones?"

"That, my dear child, is today's lesson. Now take a fighting stance please, and draw your sword."

I shifted, turning the side of my body to her, and held my sword in one hand. I suppose it was a way of laughing at her, as the broadsword was as light as a feather in my armoured hand. She nodded in approval. "Good, excellent, but can you relax just a bit? Nicely done. Sword-fighting was your great grandmother's pride and joy, and Skulduggery is highly skilled as well. This should be interesting."

She came at me so fast I hardly had time to raise my sword. She pushed back with her own blade forcing me to retreat. My emotions weren't quite in the right place and she was taking advantage. Her sword became a blur, tapping me teasingly on both shoulders, then flipping my hat off my head. Madam Lovegate laughed merrily but I didn't see what was so funny about it. "Find your center child, find the love you have for him, quickly now." She said as she danced in, her sword rapping me up and down both legs. It hurt. I retreated, telling myself she was the enemy, and a formidable one at that.

I saw her as being between me and Skulduggery, and my love and dead senses kicked in. I rushed at her, and she brought her blade up to meet my own, the metal singing and sparks flying. She whirled, her sword aimed low and I leapt straight up, avoiding the blow. But her return sweep forced me to keep my distance. We kept at it, me unable to break through her defenses, her toying with me, and I knew it. But I couldn't falter, I had to fight on and hope my skeletal form could outlast her flesh and blood one.

"Come on my dear," she encouraged. "Don't look so downcast, you're holding steady."

Our blades met, we were fighting two-handed now. I grunted. "Because you're letting me. You were the Grey Angel of the battlefield. Even without magocal armour you wiped out entire battalions of men."

"True!" Our swords clashed. She whirled, and I ducked, just managing to avoid decapitation. "But you are forgetting something, aren't you? How would I know about the armour so well?" She came in hard, and I managed to block all her blows. I was improving, ever so slightly.

"Because it is legendary?" I took advantage of an opening, touched her shoulder lightly. She beamed at me.

"Close! I fought along side your great grandmother!" At that she launched a flurry of swipes and jabs, but somehow the armour knew what to do and I was fighting her on a level not my own. We were dancing around the floor, our feints, strikes, guards and blows passing too fast for the living eyes to see.

I was dimly aware of the door opening, and she pressed her attack once more. But I met her, pressed back and our blades were hitting so hard the sounds of the blows echoed off the wall. Sparks flew, and still we fought. Just when I thought I had an opening she flipped forward over me. I spun, lifting my sword to block her blow, twisting my arm down to try and sweep under her defenses her as she landed. She spun, and kicked me hard in the chest. I leapt back, unwilling to fall, I knew if I did it would mean my head.

She stopped and nodded, pleased. "Well done my dear! You controlled yourself, retreated when you needed to, avoided the obvious distractions. That's all for now, even your skeletal arms must be aching."

"I can't even feel them, to be honest."

"Nor should you. You fought at a level few living could match. You know through your armour how to fight at your great grandmother's level and she was almost my equal. I do hope you will get a healing bath now. Your body, while protected and supplanted by the armour, will be feeling that. But if you can, come to my office later and we'll have a lovely tea. You did well child, I'm proud of you." She patted my skeletal cheek in affection and breezed past me.

I turned to see Tanith, Ghastly, and Skulduggery had entered. Tanith looked gobsmacked. "WHERE did you learn to fight like that?" She bounced forward, highly excited as usual. I winced, trying to convince my arms to move so I could sheath my sword. I barely managed before she slapped me on the shoulder. "Well done, that!"

"Ow! My entire body aches. I just had the best swordswoman in history bat me around like a catnip toy, don't hit me." I growled.

"Oh, it isn't that bad. I get sore lots. But where did you learn to fight like that?"

"I didn't. This is magical armour. I have at least two sources, well three, including me, for any skill set I need. Somehow her mentioning my great grandmother unlocked one of those skills, lucky for me it did."

"But it was awesome, you were both moving so fast I couldn't see your swords. Do you want to have a go at training later, after your bath?"

"Tanith, I don't want to even _see_ a sword for a week. Have Madam Lovegate spar with you. She's a delightful woman when she isn't trying to take your head from your body." I muttered.

"Please?" She begged.

"You're worse than a puppy, you know that?" I said, unable to keep from smiling.

"And she is still on rest, doctor's orders." Ghastly put in firmly. Tanith bowed her head in disappointment, and I managed not to laugh.

"Well train sometime soon, Tanith, I promise. Come keep me company so I don't have those creepy matrons hanging around the mud bath." She smiled and we left. I noticed Skulduggery was silent, and he averted his gaze quickly when I caught him staring. Strange.

The bath was heavenly, taking all the pain out of my body. I still wasn't sure how I felt it, but I assumed since I was still me the armour let my body feel where it had been hit when removed. We were both enjoying the mud, and taking full advantage of Tanith's status as a woman on the mend. "We want tea, and now!" She called loudly to a passing matron. The woman smiled and nodded.

"Tanith! This is a healing bath, not a spa." I scolded.

"I don't care, I want tea. So do you. When's the last time you ate?"

"Yesterday, but I don't need to eat or drink in the armour. Still... Well, I'm sure Ghastly's having fun looking it over. I think he said something about taking it to the shop. Any idea why?" I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

"The wee little boots he'll be making, remember? What was that all about with Skulduggery? He wouldn't even look at you." Out tea came, we thanked the matron and waited until she withdrew.

"I have no idea. He's been acting weird lately, even for him." I said then too a grateful sip.

"Weird how?"

I shrugged helplessly. "He's, and I have no other word for it, _doting_ on me."

"Aw. Poor thing!"

"I'm hardly complaining, but it isn't like him."

"Have you asked him why?"

"No, I get the idea he'll jump out of his suit if I do."

"So he's paying extra attention but doesn't want you to notice? That's interesting." She mused.

"Oh he wants me to notice, but not say anything about it."

"How do you two do that? Communicate with no words?"

"We just picked it up over time. I can read him, he can read me. You can do it with Ghastly, right?" She nodded. "While there you go then. I hate to change the subject, but would you like to come with me to tea? I'm sure Madam Lovegate wouldn't mind." I said, setting my empty cup aside.

"Oh no. I'm going back to Ghastly's office and having a lie down." I nodded and we reluctantly got up to meet the matrons as they came forward. I only hoped the tea would be enjoyable.

* * *

Madam Lovegate was out of her office when I called on her, so I wandered around aimlessly around my room. According to Tanith Skulduggery had went with Ghastly and wouldn't be back for me until later. I was debating having lunch, even though the prisoners had better food than Sanctuary guests because they weren't forced to eat anything cooked there when my mobile rang. It was Skulduggery. He sounded annoyingly chipper. "Hello, Valkyrie! Ghastly asked me to ask you for a favor."

"What is it?"

"Could you move that delightful mess of bolts you call a car back to Gordon's house? Which is your house, by the way. It's starting to annoy people."

"That's a classic car, Skulduggery." I growled.

"Yes, classic in that they don't make anything that ugly anymore, thank God. But you will move it?"

I counted to ten. "Yes Skulduggery, I will move it." I hissed through gritted teeth. "This works out better since I can get some sleep at Gordon's. Then something to eat. I'll see you tomorrow for training?"

"Well I had thought I'd come by later and pick you up for dinner, but if you insist-"

"I make it a policy not to turn down a free meal, even from you. What time?"

"Seven-ish?"

"That works for me. See you later then." I rang off and pocketed my mobile. During the drive home to Gordon's mansion I had to wonder again at Skulduggery's behavior and figured he was bored. Not that his reasons mattered, but I liked to know.

I ate quickly, then slept for several hours, the alarm getting me up at six. My phone rang almost the instant I was up. It was Skulduggery again. "Are you up?"

"Yes, Skulduggery, I'm up."

"Good, I'll be there in about fifteen minutes."

"What? I'm an absolute mess."

"Fifteen minutes is plenty of time to dress and run a brush through your hair. Be ready." He hung up abruptly. I sighed. There was no end to his strangeness lately. I managed to dress and brush my hair in five minutes. I was headed downstairs to wait when my mobile rang again.

"Yes, Skulduggery?"

"Would you open the door please?"

"I'm coming now." But I heard a click and he swung the door open before I reached the landing, pocketing his picks. He stood, head tilted up at me, looking rather pleased with himself.

"You're worse than Tanith when it comes to patience, you know that?" I grumbled. I'd reached the ground floor and he came forward to envelop me in a hug.

"I missed you." He said softly.

"I know, I missed you too. Tanith isn't as much fun as you are." He laughed.

"Nor is Ghastly anywhere near as fun as you are. He got so fixated on those boots he barely spoke to me the whole afternoon. The armour is in the boot by the way. Ready?" I nodded and followed him out to the Bentley. This was going to be a strange dinner. I was sure of it.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, Kenspeckle, or Valkyrie. Val's still 24, it is still her POV.

* * *

In the Bentley I looked down at my hands. It was strange being flesh and blood again. I felt heavier and slower. Skulduggery caught my glance. "Something wrong?" He asked, his velvety voice full of concern.

"It's just weird. Wearing the armour I feel so different, more alive somehow. Being back like this is sort of a shock."

He made an amused sound. "I wouldn't wish being flesh and blood on myself again for anything, so I know what you mean. Still, you can walk around in broad daylight now and not cause a panic."

"Skulduggery!"

"What? You know I scare people."

"You _enjoy_ scaring people."

"Most of the time." He conceded. "Though when I made you faint-"

"I did not faint, Skulduggery! I blacked out, there's a difference. A man was trying to kill me!"

"So you say. Ah, here we are." I hadn't really been paying attention to where we were going, but I followed his gaze to stare at his house. "Surprise! You have food in there, don't you? That counts as dinner." I just looked at him for a long moment, listening to his laughter as he clutched the steering wheel, shaking his head. We got out, Skulduggery still highly amused at his own joke.

"You take me to the very best places." Was all I could manage. He made an amused sound and led me inside, getting the door for me. That was strange. We headed into the kitchen and I would have rooted around in the box but it was missing. Several take out containers of Chinese sat on the table.

"Skulduggery! You managed to cook!"

"Indeed I did. I'm glad you appreciate all the sacrifices I make for you, Valkyrie." He watched me as I opened a box to find sesame chicken with broccoli on a bed of steamed rice. Along with the rather large Styrofoam container of green tea, it looked heavenly.

"You are going to go broke, you know." I said, by way of thanks.

"What's the point on having money if you don't get to spend it, Valkyrie? Besides, Ghastly's making your boots for free, so I'm a wealthy man."

I paused over a forkful of chicken. "He's not still at the shop is he? Tanith will kill me if he is."

"No he closed up shop shortly after I talked to you. I think he was planning on taking her to dinner at the Sanctuary."

"She'll never speak to him again."

"What? Why? I'm feeding you and you're speaking to me."

"Skulduggery, the Sanctuary food is so bad the prisoners send thank you notes to the gaolers for not having to eat there."

"I see. That explains why most of the detectives bring food in. I always wondered. Your food is good here though, right?"

"Yes, it's perfect. How did you know I liked Chinese?"

"I asked Tanith."

"She'll never let me hear the end of it."

"You know her. Just spar with her when she's better and all will be forgiven. Speaking of sparring, you were most impressive against Madam Lovegate this morning."

"Um, thanks."

"I never knew she could move like that to begin with, let alone still do so. She's a woman of many hidden talents, I'll give her that. Almost makes up for her dragging you away so often to have tea."

I smiled at him. One of the things I enjoyed about Skulduggery was how self-centered he was. Not in a bad way, but in a truthful way. If he wanted something he let you know about it, usually for hours after the incident. "You could always come with me, you know. The Sanctuary is in my debt."

He laughed. "They're in your debt because you amuse me so they don't have to. Your a free chaperone and as Kenspeckle once said, a good influence. That's why they are in your debt, Valkyrie Cain."

I'd finished with the box and pushed it aside, drawing the container of tea closer. It was bitter, but good, and I took several sips before answering. Skulduggery busied himself with putting the other boxes in the fridge. "Kenspeckle had an unfortunate habit of making me want to hit him." I said.

"But he was your friend, he liked you!" Skulduggery said, turning to looked at me in shock.

"He wasn't your friend, and I never liked the way he talked to you. Besides, you respect me. You never once told me to go home and forget magic, even though you did you best to offer me a chance to walk away at times. Usually after he or Ghastly guilted you into it."

"But here you are, still. Ready to face a god at my side. But as I've always said, everyone needs a hobby." I smiled and we went into the living room to sit in front of the TV. Skulduggery picked up the paper intending to ignore it as usual as he settled down in beside me. I wondered and not for the first time, how he could buy so many things he didn't use.

I flicked it on, giving a contented sigh as my favorite power couple filled the screen. "Nick and Nora Charles!" I elbowed Skulduggery. "Aren't they cute together?"

He folded the paper down, looking at me in shock. "You KNOW who they are?"

"Yes Skulduggery, I know who they are. I knew before I met you, believe it or not. Isn't he handsome? My ideal detective." I teased.

"Ah, so that explains it then. I'm obviously a substitute for Nick Charles. Clearly I'm better looking, more intelligent, more charming, a far better detective, crack shot, and sharper dresser. But I'm a substitute all the same. I'm thoroughly insulted, Valkyrie. Here I thought you liked me for myself." He sniffed and flipped the paper back up with a snap.

I laughed, I loved it when he teased me back. "You're a strange man, Detective Pleasant."

"So I've been told, Detective Cain."

* * *

I slept on the couch again that night, Skulduggery ignoring my suggestion that putting the armour on would make me more useful. "We started out with twenty eight days to catch him, Valkyrie, now we're down to twenty and no closer to a lead. I almost wish he'd come for me now, but you need your training. You also need sleep outside the armour."

"But with the armour on, I'm perfect, I don't need sleep."

"No, with the armour on you're a living skeleton, and while that is immensely useful, it doesn't preclude your humanity. I'm not letting you give up being alive for the sake of a case." I groaned and gave in, quickly falling asleep on the couch, while Skulduggery, pleased with his easy victory, meditated across from me.

* * *

The next morning I woke up with a stiff neck and shoulder. I cursed as I sat up.

"Charming, that."

"Sorry, but my neck hurts."

"Mm. You slept wrong. It was an adorable pose though. You looked like a kitten. I'm surprised you didn't purr." I rubbed my neck gingerly and he came to stand behind me. "Here, let me." I felt his gloved hands start to massage my neck and stiff shoulders, the strong, sure movements loosening muscle. I could feel his bones through the leather and the sensation comforted me.

I sighed, tilting my head back as his continued ministrations eased away the last of the stiffness and pain. "You could get paid to do this." I said.

"Really?" He asked, withdrawing his hands. "I've never done it before in my life. Apparently I'm a man of unknown talents. Good for me. Lucky for you too of course, but then you've always been lucky to have me."

"I need coffee before I even dignify that with an answer. " We headed to the kitchen, Skulduggery getting out a random box from the night before. Spring rolls and coffee, the breakfast of champions.

"Skulduggery?"

"Mm?"

"He has to be somewhere, all his kills were in a set area-"

"I'd thought of that. We can't find a single trace of the man. It's like he vanishes in between kills."

"Are you sure he's still human?"

"No, not really. But we did see footprints, and the magic he is using would lead one to believe that he is. Even if he wasn't though we can't find a trace. I even tried making each crime scene an epicenter, but we don't have the manpower."

"I hate to ask this, but could Lord Vile find him?"

Skulduggery looked at me for a long time. "I think it is Lord Vile he's after. If we don't give him what he wants we'll frustrate his plans at the very least. You aren't suggesting we give him Lord Vile, are you?"

"No, and there's really no way to set up an illusion of Lord Vile without Ghastly asking questions. Since he knows the killer is after you-"

"My thoughts exactly. I don't think he plans another kill until me and we do have several weeks of training left. We can only hope he'll get excited enough to follow us. I'm not sure if he is even aware I was Vile. He might have just gotten lucky." I nodded, wondering at the sudden switch. Skulduggery had claimed before the killer knew he was Lord Vile, something only a few people, most of them dead now knew. There was something he wasn't telling me.

"Skulduggery, if he is after you, and let's assume he remembers you are Lord Vile..." It all suddenly clicked into place.

"Yes?"

"Um, nothing."

"Ah, I'm assuming you had another flash of insight? This time without the armour on. My, how you've grown."

"He wanted to die." I said. "He was sick of being alive, and you wouldn't kill him. He's tried everything else, and now to his deranged mind if you die, so does he."

"Yes, I picked a fine time to stop my wanton slaughter, didn't I? The man begged me to kill him and I couldn't, not having returned to my senses. He never saw my rather handsome face, so I'm still not sure how he knows who I am."

"The block, where you can't see his face, or remember his name, is it something he did?"

"No Valkyrie. I was still Lord Vile even when returning to my humanity and Vile didn't care to remember his face or name. He was useless, a man with the powers of a god who only wanted to die. He wasn't worthy of Vile's attention. I think that's the real reason I spared him."

"Remind me to try acting helpless and useless the next time Vile shows up."

Skulduggery laughed. "The next time Vile shows up, I suggest you run."

* * *

We were on our way to the field to train when my mobile rang. It was Ghastly, he sounded upset. "Valkyrie! Where's Skulduggery? I can't reach him. Is he with you?"

"Yes, his mobile must be off. We're heading to the training field now, why?"

"Do not go to the field, Valkyrie. You're both to come here to the Sanctuary immediately, don't stop for anything, and for God's sake don't give anyone a lift. Am I clear?"

I felt a chill run down my spine. "Yes, of course. What's happened."

"I can't tell you, not over the phone. Just get here in one piece, and Valkyrie?"

"Yes?"

"Take care of him." Ghastly rang off and I had to blink hard or start crying.

"Valkyrie! What is it, did something happen to Tanith?" Skulduggery said, his voice alarmed.

"No, no. We have to go to the Sanctuary now, not stopping for anything or anyone, Ghastly's orders."

"And that upset you?"

"He thought you were dead."

"Well I am dead. Oh, I see what you mean. Still, no need for you to be upset, Valkyrie. I like you far to much too just wander off and get killed, you know."

I smiled and laughed shakily. "That's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me. It just gave me a fright, that's all. I thought you might be a hallucination. That you were-"

"I know. I know." He reached out and patted my shoulder. "I don't think I've ever had a partner before that would have missed me. The last one died cursing my name. Still it is nice to be wanted. It does wonders for my ego."

He turned on the radio and we drove for a way in silence, Skulduggery glancing over at me every once in a while. "You know" He began in a cheerful voice "If it was the other way around, I'd hunt down the killer and beat him to death."

"But I don't get to? That's not fair."

"It's a rule I've made up, just now. "

"That's always been your rule." I grumbled.

"Yes, but now it's official. Wait until I tell Ghastly, won't he be impressed?"

* * *

We arrived at the Sanctuary and headed for Ghastly's office. A large rectangular wooden packing crate sat in it, packing material scattered on the floor. Ghastly tried to stop me from looking in. "You don't need to see that."

I looked at Tanith, she was pale. She shook her head 'no' so I listened. Skulduggery went to the crate and looked down. He gave a low whistle. "My, someone has anger management problems, doesn't he? Well, come help me look for clues, Valkyrie."

"Skulduggery-" Ghastly began, but Skulduggery cut him off with a sharp look.

"She already had you scare ten years off her life with your call. Seeing what's in this crate will be better than seeing the lovely images you so thoughtfully put in her head." I went over and looked down. Amongst the packing material lay a skeleton. The bones broken in many places. Terrible things had been done to it. There were cuts on the ribs. Burns, scars. Bones had been reduced to splinters, some clearly frozen than shattered. There weren't two pieces left together. Someone had tortured this skeleton, and enjoyed doing it.

Skulduggery looked at me, gauging my reaction. "What do you see, Valkyrie?" His voice was soft.

"Evidence. We need to trace the crate, ask where it came from, try to find the sender. We need prints, evidence bags. He handed us the break we're looking for, didn't he?"

"And if there are no prints or way to track him?"

"We know how his mind works. He thinks this is a powerful message, but it's petty, childish even. He knows you'll see it, and he's hoping you rise to the bait. He wants you angry, angry and alone."

"How do you know he wants me alone?" Skulduggery asked softly.

"He hopes this will frighten you into making me leave the case. That showing this level of violence towards you will make you fear him. Maybe he even meant it and it is a warning to back off. Luckily for you I have absolutely no respect for you as an authority figure, so I'm staying."

Skulduggery beamed at me affectionately. "But you've been trained by me to see a crime scene as a collection of evidence and not something to be emotionally shocked over. You were logical and precise. Therefore, you do respect me as an authority figure and I win."

"Everything's a contest with you two, isn't it?" Ghastly asked tiredly.

"Yes." We replied in unison. We stepped aside as the crime scene techs entered, muttering darkly about how the crate shouldn't have been opened in the first place. The shooed us all out into the hallway, one shooting Ghastly looks of pure venom.

"You two are staying here until further notice." Ghastly said.

Skulduggery tilted his head. "You're going to let the gesture of a lunatic cower you into doing what he wants? I for one don't intend to stay here, nor does Valkyrie. Your food is absolutely dreadful from what I gather."

"I'm not giving you a choice Skulduggery. You stay here, or I arrest you both and you stay in the gaol for however long it takes for us to catch him."

"You're kidding."

"Try me."

Skulduggery sighed. "Very well, but you can at least bring in some decent food for Valkyrie, can't you? I don't want her suffering anymore than staying here will do to her."

Ghastly nodded. "I don't eat the food myself, I'll see to it she doesn't starve. Besides, she has a date with Madam Lovegate right about now." He looked at me. "She's so sorry she missed you yesterday, so why not go see her now? Skulduggery and I have things to talk about." I nodded and walked past them. Tanith shook her head to my pleading look. So I was off to tea with Madam Lovegate, alone. Lovely.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, or Valkyrie. I don't own Paul Young either. Val's still 24 and story is still her POV.

* * *

Madam Lovegate was waiting for me in her office, the tea ready. She came forward to embrace me. "I heard about the dreadful thing that was sent to the Sanctuary. But don't worry, you'll both be kept here until this madman is caught. I hope it didn't frighten you, dear. You know he'd do anything to remain by your side if he could."

I suppressed a frown. She was offering an opening, a chance to talk about my feelings for Skulduggery. But I hated talking about my feelings with anyone, and how Skulduggery and I got along was really none of her business. For a woman who specialized in love, she didn't know the first thing about how it affected me. "I've often thought of doing things like that to him, to be honest."

She made a clucking sound as she poured the tea. She pushed a plate of small pastries towards me and I politely took one. "That doesn't mean you don't love him. But tell me, does this help the case?"

Again, with the love. Was she making subtle digs? I wondered if she was really being friendly, but kept my face neutral as Skulduggery had taught me. "We don't know yet. We need to see what forensics comes back with. We don't even know who the victim was. Hopefully he wasn't alive in the way Skulduggery is."

"He, my dear?"

"The eye sockets, and the hip structure, I'm assuming he's male."

"Ah, and it didn't bother you at all seeing a skeleton everyone assumed was Skulduggery mutilated like that?" Now _that_ was a dig.

"Of course it bothered me, but I can process that later. Right now we have a case to solve."

She shook her head. "You two are the strangest couple this Sanctuary has ever seen. You constantly insult one another, you argue, you have a blatant disregard for the niceties and sweetness that should rule any relationship."

"We're very nice to each other, Madam Lovegate. I punch him in training all the time and he returns the favor."

"You're always making jokes, but this is serious my child."

"I am serious."

"No, you're not. You two are the same. You think your quick wits and clever comebacks will get you out of anything, but they won't. You can't talk your way out of this one. The armour will get you where you need to go if you can keep your love in the forefront, but what happens if he says he doesn't love you?"

"He did." I stated flatly. The lie was worth the look of shock on her face. Because for one instant I'd seen the malicious joy in her eyes. I shrugged and stood to go. "No big deal. We're still partners and I'm fine with that."

"But the armour. Oh, girl, the armour."

* * *

Ghastly greeted me in his office. The box and everything else has been moved. "And how was Madam Lovegate?" He asked, teasingly.

I barked with laughter. "Other than she's apparently a Paul Young fan, I didn't get much out of her. How does she stay here if she doesn't actually do anything, Ghastly?"

Ghastly shook his head. "I wondered how long until her romantic nonsense got to you. She just goes on and on about love, I honestly don't know how you stood it this long. Still, she does make wise decisions even if she is a bit barmy."

"Wait, she's crazy?"

"Well, yes, actually. I hope you haven't been taking actual advice from her."

Skulduggery snorted. "Why, Elder Bespoke, would Valkyrie _ever_ do a thing like that? She only asked the woman's advice about that armour, advice which," he turned to me, "I hope you know, Valkyrie, is as much her own fantasy as reality. Don't believe everything she tells you, just the stuff I agree with."

"What?"

Skulduggery waved a dismissive hand, laughing. "Please. She's only kept on at this Sanctuary because she's harmless. She's the Elder who would never start a war. She loves everyone too much."

I glanced over at Tanith, who shrugged. "Well I did hear she is, well, a bit daft, but she is sweet."

"So anything she told me was a lie?"

"Not a lie." Ghastly said. "Just her own version of the truth. All we know about her is what you know. She fought on the battlefields, she was known as the Grey Angel for her grey armour. But after a key battle she shut down, never lifted a sword again."

"The next thing we knew," he continued, "was that she was making love philtres and other nonsense. She is at the Sanctuary in gratitude for her service, but honestly, other than her healing work, she doesn't do much. But she is, as Skulduggery said, the voice of reason."

"But how did she pick up a sword then and fight me?"

Skulduggery looked at me. "Magic, Valkyrie. Most likely like your own armour. The sword did the fighting, not her. Not that she isn't highly skilled, but if that magic broke..."

"Which brings us to your armour, Valkyrie." Ghastly cut in. " You boots should be ready soon, or they will be if I can get out of this blasted Sanctuary."

"Why should you get to leave when we're trapped here?" I asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

"That's exactly what I said Valkyrie. The man will get no sympathy from me."

Ghastly sighed. "I'm keeping you both here for your own good, Skulduggery. You might not care that a serial killer wants you dead-"

"He gets his wish then, I am dead."

"But as annoying and abrasive as you can be at times, as an Elder-"

"Forget you're an Elder." Skulduggery said. "Let us do our job. We can't arrest him if you keep us cooped up in here."

Ghastly sighed. "Valkyrie, tell the nice man in the good suit that I made him why you can't leave."

"Because you won't let us."

"Fine. If you're both going to kick up a fuss you can leave. I don't suppose you really are any safer here if he wants you dead."

"That's the spirit." Skulduggery cheerfully agreed.

* * *

We were both giddy over our newly won freedom as we got in the Bentley. Skulduggery grinned over at me. "Seat belt, and well done, by the way. I've never seen Ghastly cave in so fast."

He started the car and I relaxed back into my seat. "It was a team effort. If we were both difficult he'd get nothing done with us there. "

"Then I've taught you well. Our superior negotiation skills won our freedom."

"I thought it was our whining."

Skulduggery glanced sideways at me. "Negotiation skills. Children whine, adults negotiate."

He kept up this level of nonsense until we reached his house. But instead of heading in, he turned off the engine and leaned back in the seat. "I could meditate right here." He sighed, stretching out his long frame. Skulduggery pulled his hat down low over his eye sockets and sighed again. "But I can't, can I? If you were a good partner you'd carry me inside. Why weren't you born a boy?"

"Because I'm cuter as a girl?"

"Well, yes, there is that."

"And Madam Lovegate would have no one to foist tea on if I wasn't a girl?"

He laughed. "True. What did she go on about this time?"

"The armour, and then she started in on this speech about love, she frightened me to be honest."

"Love scares you then, does it?"

"Her version of it does. She also lectured me about being nicer to you."

"Ah, now that I agree with. Well come along inside then. We can't sit here all night, whatever were you thinking?"

* * *

I had the leftover Chinese for dinner, Skulduggery nattering on about how boring Sanctuary policy was. "You're lucky you're so young, Valkyrie. You don't have to stand there and listen to it. I swear all those men live for is lecturing me about excessive force this, and illegal activities that. So how was your day, then?"

"Well I got lectured on not insulting my partner so much. I'm also not supposed to argue with you or ignore the 'niceties and sweetness' I'm supposed to shower upon you. I swear to God, Skulduggery, that woman is insane."

"The day you start showering me with 'niceties and sweetness' is the day I start worrying about the mental health of my partner. You've never been nice in the way she means. It would make me ill if you were. If you became a woman who did nothing but bat her eyes- No, I simply wouldn't stand for it. Henceforth you are to be as rude as possible to me."

I smiled. "I'll keep that in mind. If you ever want to frighten me to death you can become the frilly little milksop she seems to think all men should be."

"She's confusing men with cats, that's her problem. She wants us all domesticated and civilized." A look of distaste came to his features.

"Well, you've never been civilized, so no worries there."

"Too true. You wouldn't want me to be, would you?"

"Lord, no. Where would be the fun in that?"

"Exactly. Well, you young lady better get some coffee and join me in our office, we do have a case to discuss."

I joined him, and he pulled me into a hug. "I'm very proud of you, you know. I'm sure the contents of that box gave you a fright."

I smiled into his shoulder, hugging him back. "It did. For an instant I thought it was you. I knew better, but still." He ruffled my hair affectionately before letting me go.

"What did it tell you about the killer?" He asked.

"His obsession with you is frightening. He wants to scare you, he wants you to see what's coming. Not to get off track, but how did you ever tell Ghastly you might be a target for the killer?"

"Oh that. Well we found smashed parts of a skeleton at each of the crime scenes. On the skull he carved my initials then smashed it. I found it endearing, really."

"Wow. You can really make friends and influence people, can't you?"

"We need to focus, Valkyrie." He sounded exasperated. "What else did it tell you?"

"Well the use of an actual packing crate is old fashioned, but I don't know if that helps. Did we get an ID yet on the victim?"

"Hmm?"

"The skeleton, who was he?"

"Ah, that. No idea, but from the looks of it the skeleton was from an anatomy lab, so I assume it was dead before he was played with it." His voice sounded bitter.

"You mean tortured."

"You're looking at an inanimate object as a human being, be more objective please."

"Skulduggery, a skeleton isn't a 'thing'. He was, is, a person. Personally I think it's disrespectful of the dead to hang them in labs like that."

"I'm sure its family was compensated, Valkyrie." He said, drily.

"He's not an it!"

"Right. I'm sure his family was compensated. Are you happy now?" He seemed agitated.

"I'm sorry, Skulduggery. It's just the idea of the killer even wanting to do that to you-"

"I know. But that wasn't me in that crate, you have to remember that. I don't want you having nightmares over this." I nodded, wishing he'd hug me again and knowing he wouldn't. We didn't make much more progress after that. I wanted to tell Skulduggery that he wasn't a thing to me. That he was a person, a man, like anybody else. But that would have shamed him.

I left him to his work, reading his silent cues to know I should go up to my bedroom that night. I didn't want to sleep without him in the same room, but I told myself I was in no position to argue with him. I convinced myself that if I did I'd be back in Gordon's mansion or Skulduggery would simply take his chances on leaving Ireland for good, without me.

I curled up after my bath underneath the sheets, my self-indulgent pity draining me. I tried not to think about how close I was to loosing him, but it didn't work. Then I realized where my thoughts were going and I angrily shook myself. This wasn't me talking. It was the stupid babble Madam Lovegate had been feeding me.

This was Skulduggery Pleasant. My best friend and mentor. The man who redid half his house for me. The man who fed me and clothed me, who never left my side, even when I'd done something incredibly stupid. Who drove me everywhere, even when he knew I had a car of my own, and had in fact, managed to sneakily break down my defenses and have me buy a car and not a bike.

He was also, yes, a skeleton. The skeleton who teased me and annoyed me. The skeleton who couldn't spend five minutes in the Sanctuary without coming to my window like he used to. The friend who looked to me to join him in whatever mischief he was plotting against the bad guys. So OK, maybe he wasn't in love with me, but this was my best friend in the entire Universe, and Madam Lovegate could take the advice that was making me so miserable and choke on it.

I got dressed again, and padded down to his office. Skulduggery sat with his skull buried in his gloved hands. Despair was etched on his features, and I felt my heart soften. He was a good man, far better than I deserved, and right now he needed a friend. "I don't think meditation works like that, even for you." I said and he looked up startled, a pleased smile crossing his features. I returned his smile and walked over to my desk, flipping open my copy of the case file. "Find anything?"

"No, and if I stare at that case file one more minute," he paused to massage the front of his skull, "I'm going to go barking mad. I don't suppose you're up for some night training?" He looked at me hopefully and I nodded.

"Oh, thank God. Well, come on then, though I suppose being a Necromancer you will cheat and finally beat me tonight. Have I mentioned recently how much I hate that ring? Because I do." We headed out to the car, Skulduggery humming to himself happily. At least, I reflected, he was an easy man to please.

* * *

Our training that night was more like dancing. We were both just so happy to be free of the Sanctuary. Neither of us was even trying to best the other, just good-naturedly trading soft blows that wouldn't have harmed a kitten. I smiled at his soft taps and jabs landed on my shoulders and chest. He left himself open, and I touched my knuckles gently to his shoulder, then a tap to the chest, followed by a lower touch to the abdomen with the other fist.

"I hope you hit Ghastly harder than this." I teased.

"Yes, that's the theory if I ever manage to hit him. Of course, you're a lot more fun to hit." He lunged suddenly, grabbing me around the midsection and twisting as we fell. He pinned me under him, and knelt on top of me gloating.

I brought my knees up gently, pressed him forward so I could get my hips up off the ground and twisted. He tumbled off, laughing. "No fair, hitting an old man from behind."

I snorted. "Old? You aren't even half of Madam Lovegate's age yet, and you're a mere pup compared to the killer."

"So I am." He mused. "But you should still respect your elders, Valkyrie." He waved an admonishing finger at me teasingly.

"Chronological or intellectual?" I teased back, and he was on top of me again, this time tickling me without mercy. I held up my hands in defeat. "Stop, you win, I surrender." I said, between giggles.

"Good. Hungry? There's that diner we stopped at with Ryan. I think it was an all night one."

"Skulduggery Pleasant, that's the best idea you've had in a long time. Let me get this armour off."

I touched my jaws, felt it fall away. Skulduggery was looking at me head tilted.

"What?" I asked.

"You look different in the moonlight, I never noticed it before. Well come on then, my lady, your chariot awaits." I smiled and followed him to the car, putting the armour in the boot, wondering again just what he was up to. But I knew I didn't really care, so long as he took me along for the ride.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Tanith or Valkyrie, wish I did though. Val is still 24, still her POV.

* * *

It had started to rain softly as we drove and I fell asleep to the lulling music of the wiper blades. I awoke the hear the radio on softly Herb Alpert's 'Rise' pouring from the speakers. Skulduggery's long fingers tapped gracefully on the steering wheel in time to the music, his head nodding in appreciation. He'd put his disguise on, but I could still read him. He was relaxed for once, and unguarded. Even through the covering layers I could feel his contented smile. He was humming softly to himself in a way he did only when truly pleased. I was delighted to see him this relaxed so I said nothing and closed my eyes again.

I felt a bony elbow poke into my ribs. "Valkyrie, are you awake?" His velvety voice sounded hopeful.

"Yes."

"I thought so. You know I've been happier these last few weeks than I have in a long time. "

"I noticed."

"Any idea why that is?"

"You won the Irish Sweepstakes?"

He laughed, pleased. "Clever, that. No, I'm happy because my good friend Valkyrie Cain is with me, and always has been. Plus she was happy when I got rid of that dreadful facade."

"I never wanted to say anything, but it was a little creepy, even when it wasn't malfunctioning."

"Indeed it was. But it seemed like such a good idea at the time, like cryogenics or pet rocks. But seeing you in the armour has reminded me I should take pride in my devilishly handsome good looks. Don't you agree?" He titled his head at me, fishing for a compliment.

"You know I do. I'd like to take that disguise and burn it, and don't think I wouldn't. I've always found you striking."

"My blushes, Watson!" He teased, bringing a rise of heat to my own cheeks.

"I take back every nice thing I ever said, about you, you know that?" I growled. To his delighted laughter I added "You should blush."

"Oh ho, should I now? And what, pray tell, dearest combat accessory, what would ever make me blush?"

I was silent for a long moment, then admitted: "I got nothing." He amused sound turned into a delighted chirrup as 'The Girl From Ipanema' came on. I ignored the lyrics, though it would have been nice if they were true.

* * *

We pulled into the diner, the open sign still lit. Inside a lone waitress stared out into the night, completely ignoring the Bentley. Impressive. Inside she took my order and didn't even give Skulduggery a second glance. I wondered briefly if she was a zombie. Though from the way she snapped her gum I doubted it.

"Well!" Skulduggery miffed, as she walked into the kitchen, "Women usually fall my witty charm."

"So that's what you call it, is it? I thought the proper word was annoying."

Skulduggery sniffed again, feigning offense. "Just because you can resist my charms doesn't mean other women can."

"I so don't want to hear this."

"It's sad, but true. Ever woman I meet is instantly and helplessly besotted with me forever. I've broken ever so many hearts, Valkyrie, merely by being me." He sighed dramatically.

"You keep telling yourself that." We paused as my coffee arrived.

"So, Valkyrie." There was an odd note in his voice, and I looked up at him, askance.

"Yes, Skulduggery?"

"Where do you see us, after this case?"

"Annoying each other, as usual."

"You don't want to do something more constructive with yourself? College perhaps?"

"I've been to the school of hard knocks and thanks you have a street education. Besides, can you see me sitting in a class, paying attention?"

"No, not really." He admitted.

"It's settled then and we don't talk about it from now on."

"We don't talk about a _lot_ of things." He grumbled. My cheeseburger came and I nodded to the waitress. She slapped the bill on the table indifferently and disappeared once more into the kitchen.

"Charming woman." Skulduggery murmured.

I ate in silence. A silence Skulduggery apparently felt obliged to fill. "I was thinking that when the case is over, we could do something. Other than work, that is, as fun as it is to chase the bad guys. Maybe you need help cataloging the rooms in your mansion, or I shall develop the notion to write my memoirs. Or the Earth will crack open and swallow the Sanctuary whole and we'll be unemployed and need to go job hunting."

I raised an eyebrow and put down my half finished burger. "You've been putting a lot of thought into this, haven't you? What makes you think we need a plan? Ours tend to blow up in our faces anyhow."

Skulduggery paused, seemed to find the table really interesting. "Well, the truth of it is, Valkyrie, you'll be able to be an independent detective after this if you want. The Sanctuary wouldn't mind seeing me on my own again, you know."

"The day the Sanctuary tries to tell me what to do, I leave, Skulduggery, and I'm taking you with me."

"You'd do that for me? Give up the prestige of being an independent woman?"

"I've always been an independent woman. I've had people telling me I can't be your partner for over a decade because I was too young, what will the excuse be now? I'm an adult?"

I could feel him wince. "I think that is it exactly. Ghastly isn't worried, he knows you know your own mind. But do you still want me, Valkyrie? I am old, you could get a younger partner."

I blinked. "Skulduggery Pleasant, I'm surprised at you. Where's the massive ego that sees your age as a point in your favor?"

"In the repair shop, I'm afraid. You don't think I'm too old do you?" He tilted his head endearingly.

"I'm still waiting for you to hit adulthood, so no, I don't." I felt his smile as I finished my burger. Now he was fussing about his age, and seeking me to boost his vanity. The man was getting stranger every day, and I loved him for it.

* * *

Shortly after we got back in the Bentley my mobile rang. Tanith.

"Hello, Tanith."

"What's my favorite sister up to?"

"Wondering why you called."

"Ow. It's nothing, I mean, well, almost nothing."

I sighed. "What happened."

"Ghastly isn't speaking to me right now."

"What did you do?"

"A fine sister you are. All I said was we're both adults and things could move a little faster."

"That," I said, trying to suppress my laughter and failing, "was the wrong thing to say. You can't push Ghastly into anything, even if it's something he wants." I saw Skulduggery turn his head to stare at me, but he said nothing.

"Well, did Skulduggery say anything?"

"No, why would he?"

"I have an idea they're plotting against us."

"Men are always plotting against women. Say Tanith, would you be a dear, sweet sister and do me a favor?"

"Yes?" She sounded amused. I ignored Skulduggery's snort of contempt.

"Well it's two favors, really. First I want you to research the armour for me in the Sanctuary library, but don't let on you are doing it for me."

"OK..."

"Second, and I will apologize if I'm wrong, but have a sample of Madam Lovegate's tea analyzed. I also don't want you or Ghastly drinking it."

Skulduggery swerved the Bentley onto the shoulder and turned his head towards me. Tanith sighed. "How am I supposed to get a sample?"

"She's always foisting tea on us. It would be even better if you could just get a sample of the leaves, though if she is enchanting the tea or the pot itself is enchanted we'll find nothing. Maybe it's my finely tuned paranoia but doesn't she seem strange to you?"

"Well yes, and I'll get the sample, but what's going on? She forced a cup on me this afternoon I could have filched some tea leaves for you then."

"Think of it. She only ever has women in to tea, a real hostess and tea lover wouldn't do that. Have you ever seen a man in her office, ever?"

"No, come to think of it, I haven't."

"And whatever made you say what you did to Ghastly, it wasn't you talking. You aren't like that. She switches from telling you-" I paused, clearly I couldn't say this in front of Skulduggery.

"She did it to your too, then? First she was on about Ghastly being incapable of love because of his face."

"She what?"

"Don't shout. Then she switched to how in love we were, but it would never work out. What's her game, do you think?"

"I don't know, for now. But don't drink any more of that tea." Tanith agreed and we rang off.

Skulduggery was staring a hole through me. "What, exactly, was that all about? And don't lie, Ghastly and I noticed you two spending so much time with her."

"Madam Lovegate's been trying to interfere with Ghastly and Tanith. She's also been trying to make sure I no longer speak to you. If I didn't know any better I'd say she wants me killed in that armour. I know she's angry that you're pleased with it." I could feel him raise a skeletal brow and continued. "You should have seen the look on her face when I lied to her about something she was needling me with. She acted nice, but there was pure malicious glee in her eyes. She's one of those dreadful old women who hate younger women at the very least."

Skulduggery nodded. "The tea?"

"I noticed feeling and thinking things I normally wouldn't, but it only happened after the tea, and if I'd been wearing the armour before it the effects were delayed or never happened. She managed to disappear the day I'd worn the armour to train with her, but the next day when I hadn't worn it for hours..."

"She managed to see you. Well, that's quite a bit of detective work, and I'll admit, I missed it. I never drank tea, but you're right. For a woman who puts on airs of a Victorian lady she should serve everyone tea, and certainly should entertain men as well as women." He nodded again and pulled back onto the road. "How did you know something was wrong?"

"Shes a frenemy. First she told Tanith, well that's honestly Tanith's business, but she keeps changing her story and tactics."

"Then we can assume anything she told you about the armour may well be lies. See? This is why men are better friends. We aren't always plotting against you, despite your rather unenlightened views of us. We are loyal, and we know our own minds." He gave me a pointed look before continuing. "I'm sorry for whatever happened between Ghastly and Tanith, but you're right, he won't be rushed into anything, even if he does want it. I wonder who it was that taught you to be so insightful? Oh, that's right, me."

I grinned at him. "They'll be all right. I'll wager anything once Ghastly hears about the tea he'll forgive her."

"You think she'll tell him?"

"I'm assuming she will. She might need him to distract Madam Lovegate. I think if he sets foot in her office she'll be plenty distracted."

"What a devious young woman you are. I'm glad you're on my side. I'm also rather glad you chose me as your friend over Madam Lovegate."

"As you said, men do make better friends."

"Indeed we do."

* * *

The next day bright and early Ghastly had us at the Sanctuary. The tea had been analyzed, and proved to be ensorcelled to cause the drinker to be susceptible to suggestion. "No wonder it didn't work on you, you never listen." Ghastly told me drily. Tanith came over and cuddled into him, and he continued, an arm around her. "I wanted you both here to see her arrest, and now I go storm the castle."

We all walked into Madam Lovegate's office, and she looked up in dismay. "You, you cannot be in here, you simply cannot!" She said, looking from Ghastly to Skulduggery. "I don't want men in my office, it isn't proper, get out!"

"That's sexism, that it." Tanith said softly. She'd positioned herself in front of the door and I stood off to one side. If Lovegate tried to run we'd bat her back and forth. Hard.

"I don't care what it is, young lady! You can't talk that way to me, I'm an Elder."

"Were an Elder." Skulduggery said, slipping his cuffs on her wrists. "Madam Lovegate I'm placing you under arrest for the use of sorcery against my partner and Tanith Low. Also your obvious attempts to disrupt the effectiveness of the Sanctuary through the use of said teas. What would you call that, Valkyrie?"

"I can't say what I'd call it, there are gentlemen present. But plotting against the Sanctuary breaks some sort of law, I'm sure."

"Plotting, plotting?" Lovegate said bitterly. "I was trying to help you. You know my specialty, Valkyrie, Tanith." She said ingratiatingly. "I just didn't want you two to end up with men who are so ugly, that's all." I saw Ghastly stiffen as if he's been slapped, and Skulduggery became very still. Neither man spoke, so I did.

"Coming from the Virgin Queen, as that does, it's hardly your real reason, is it, _madam_?" I snapped the last word out, walked towards her with my shoulders bunched. "You're a bitter, frustrated, lonely old woman whose spent too much time interfering in the lives of others. Exactly how many lives have you ruined, hmm? How many women have you driven to despair or suicide? Oh yes, I think we'll find quite a few, now that we know to look for them." I looked at her steadily and she averted her gaze. But I wasn't finished with her.

"You don't specialize in love, you never have, your specialty is hate." She turned ashen, started to tremble. "You know what your major malfunction is? You've never been in love, I don't think you're capable of it or any other single decent emotion. And as for ugly, look in the mirror lately?" I hissed.

She sagged in defeat and Tanith gave a whistle. "Remind me never to insult Skulduggery in your presence, well done that. I'd also like a few words, if I may?" I nodded. Ghastly and Skulduggery just stood to one side, looking dumbfounded as did the gaoler who'd come to collect her.

Tanith smiled wickedly. "You know that sword of yours is really impressive, so impressive I did some research on it. You weren't the Grey Angel. That's a lie you told. The Grey Angel was Valkyrie's great grandmother to so many generations back. You," Tanith leaned in close, "Stole that glory and that sword from her. You wanted the armour for yourself too, because the man you wanted ended up with her, didn't he?"

"You couldn't stand that he'd go for her, when you'd just wanted him for a plaything. You, who thought he was ugly because of his war wounds. You who looked at him like a cripple and left him to die. You just sat back and watched as the rescue went on, then stepped in and pretended you orchestrated the whole thing. You, you I don't like." Tanith finished with a snarl.

We both stood back, glaring at her as the gaoler at last came forward to claim her. We were both furious and Skulduggery and Ghastly were still silent, examining the carpet. I struggled to get my temper in check. "It's all right, Elder Bespoke. I'm not going to go assault her in her cell, though that's what she deserves." My voice was strained, I struggled to beat down my anger before I continued. "Suffice it to say, she made a mistake insulting either one of you in our presence."

Ghastly gave a shrug. Her words still stung them both. I looked at Tanith, but she wasn't saying anything. I let my anger recede. "Look, we're women. As much as we try to ignore that fact because we live in a society where we're the equals to men. And the one thing that sets any decent woman off is to hear another woman talk that way about the men she cares about. It might sound stupid to you rather handsome gentlemen, but so far as Tanith and I are concerned we have your honour to defend."

Ghastly, looked up, smiled at me, pleased with the compliment. "I've just never seen either of you that angry before."

Skulduggery nodded. "I think we'll have a new Sanctuary policy of never letting women interview other women alone. I'd always wondered why some of our detectives were walking around in a rage for days. Certain female suspects also had a way of getting 'hurt' at times. Now it all makes sense."

Tanith giggled. "I just bet they did. Women have our own way of dealing with other women, is all. That, by the bye, sister, was a wonderful speech. I'm surprised you didn't haul off and smack her one."

"Oh, it hurt more _without_ the smack."

"I know." We smiled at each other and strolled out of the room well pleased with ourselves, leaving Ghastly and Skulduggery to ponder what they'd just witnessed.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, or Valkyrie.

* * *

Several hours later Lovegate had been transferred to a mental hospital for sorcerors and the investigation of her office had begun. Considered too close to the case to be objective Skulduggery and I lounged in Ghastly's office, following the proceedings with lazy interest. I was about suggest a training session to Skulduggery when an official came in and Ghastly escorted us out. "Wait here." He instructed, stepping back inside his office and pulling the door closed.

Several minutes later the official left, and Ghastly ordered us back in. Skulduggery sat patiently while Ghastly put on water for tea. He sat a mug of it in front of me and took his own to stare out the window, his back to us. I knew he was upset and I figured I knew why, but I let him speak. "Lovegate is dead." He said angrily.

"How?" Skulduggery's voice was sharp.

"She managed to hide some of her herbs in those skirts. When she asked the rookie conducting her search to avert her gaze-"

"We know she is dead?" I asked. Both men stared at me. "She could be faking it, there are herbs she could use, and slip out of the morgue later."

Ghastly nodded, took out his mobile. He turned back to us when the conversation was over. "This day just keeps getting better. Apparently it was her day to meet inexperienced people. Her body was mislabeled and incinerated by accident."

"That sounds a little too convenient." Skulduggery said. "Though I suppose DNA will prove if it is her or not, that takes time. I don't like the idea of someone who hates my partner so much possibly being at large."

"Oh, it gets better." Ghastly said. "We traced the box and contents, the order for the skeleton as well. I'll give you three guesses who was behind it."

Skulduggery cursed. It had been our only lead and it came from the hands of a spiteful madwoman.

"I thought as much." I said, and he turned to look at me. "She had way too much fun bringing that up. In fact it was the first thing she talked about. It's what let me know something was wrong, really. She couldn't hide the excitement in her voice." Skulduggery winced, but remained silent. I continued. "When we found out who she was, I couldn't figure out why she just didn't poison me, but of course she was afraid of what you'd do to her. No, she wanted me to kill myself so she'd be blameless, it's how she works. She was hoping the stunt she pulled and her ministrations after would break me."

"What, how?" Ghastly asked, frowning.

"She was hoping the possibility of Skulduggery dying on this case would make me open up to her."

"I gather it didn't work." Skulduggery said, amused.

I looked at him and laughed. "How many times have you given me the 'when I'm dead I'll be past caring' speech? That came to my mind the instant she went on about it."

He smiled at me. "That's my girl." Skulduggery looked at Ghastly. "If we're of no further use-" Ghastly waved us out.

* * *

Skulduggery was pleased with himself as we rode back to his house. "I'm thinking we've earned the day off today, what say you?"

"Of course. Did you have anything in mind?"

"No, the day is ours, to do with as we wish. I could drop you at Gordon's if you want me to of course." There was a careful note in his voice.

"And have to pick me up fifteen minutes later when your mobile rings with a case update? That's not even practical."

"Ah, you're a practical woman now, are you? That's a new one on me, but if you insist, I suppose I can suffer through another day of you at my side, even if you do annoy me at times."

"You enthusiasm overwhelms me, and I annoy you _all_ the time. It's in my job description."

"I thought as much, and a very good job you do of it too. Unless you're staying because you feel sorry for me, seeing as how I am a skeleton and therefore can't possibly have anything to do to entertain myself."

"You annoy me, that's how you entertain yourself."

"True. How about if I pick up several papers and we indulge ourselves by doing nothing at all?"

"I give you an hour before you crack, But I'm game if you are."

Skulduggery smiled at me. "I, my dear, have the patience of a saint. Let's make a contest of it. First one to break ranks and show boredom has to admit who the superior detective is."

"Deal."

* * *

Skulduggery agreed I could have coffee, and getting up for more wasn't cheating. I agreed he could get up to turn the radio off and on. We settled in with our papers. I was half way into the first article on the front page when I felt him staring at me. I spoke without looking up. "Want something, Skulduggery?"

"Oh no, I just think this is rather unfair, I do read the paper on a daily basis. I've never seen you pick one up." I continued reading. I wasn't even a paragraph in when he spoke again. "It's OK if you want to quit, you know."

"You're bored already, aren't you?"

"No, not at all."

I resumed reading. His paper rustled. He spoke. "Do you need some coffee? I'll get you some fresh if you like."

I laughed. "Mmm."

"Is that a 'yes'?"

"That's a we're both really bored, so I declare a draw." I put down my paper and looked at him. He tilted his head to the side. I continued. "But I can't think of a single thing I do want to do."

"I can't either. Well there is one thing."

"What?"

"Let me smash your ring with a hammer. It would be lots of fun."

"What if I need the shadows when the bad man shows up?"

"You'll be Surging soon. You'll need to choose." I looked at him for a long moment, then took off the ring and tossed it to him. He caught it one-handed, a shocked look on his skeletal face. Skulduggery hadn't expected me to give it to him. He held the ring with distaste. I thought he'd go off and smash it, but he looked at me thoughtfully. "Why now, after all our arguments, would you just let me smash it?"

I shrugged. "You're my partner and you are right. I do have to chose, so I choose Elemental."

"Why?"

"It's more useful for one, Necromancy has a lot of drawbacks. There's a reason most practitioners hide in temples. Two, I've never met a Necromancer I could trust. Three, well, I've never liked it. But it's what I thought I needed to get you back home."

"Then you don't see Elemental magic as weaker? You don't see me as weak?" His velvety voice was curious.

"No, I don't. You are the most powerful Elemental I've ever known. You're also the best fighter, and deadly with a gun in your hand. You're the best Detective the Sanctuary has ever had, and they know it. God, Skulduggery, if it weren't for you I wouldn't even be here to have this conversation. I've seen you as a lot of things, but weak was never one of them."

"You're sure about this?"

"Yes, Skulduggery, I'm sure." He placed the ring on the coffee table, touching it until I could hear the metal groan. Skulduggery was using his earth power to manipulate the metal, something I didn't think was even possible. He clutched it in his fist, held it tightly, then opened his hand and showed me the shattered ring.

* * *

I thought him shattering the ring would lead to instant training, but he shook his head. "No, I promised, today is the day we indulge ourselves. I got to smash your ring, which, by the way, was immensely fun, and now we are free to do something even more fun, though that will honestly be the highlight for me."

"What could be more fun that seeing my partner show two abilities I didn't even know existed in the last several days. Electricity, Skulduggery?"

"I wondered when you'd be in awe of me. Yes, it is a natural element like anything else that occurs in nature. If it is natural a good Elemental can tap into it. A _perfect_ Elemental like myself can do anything he likes with it."

"Except learn humility."

"Humility is to be reserved for those with no natural talents, Valkyrie. I have plenty of natural talent, therefore I don't need to be humble."

"Lord, and the ring?"

"The ring was made out of elements from within the Earth, but I've found I can manipulate metals as well."

"You were going to teach me all this _when_?"

"After your Surge."

"Ah, so then today I could sit around and watch TV and eat take away since there's nothing better to do?"

"Of course. Or you could tell me how Lovegate's death makes you feel."

"Happy, actually. I only met my great grandmother once, but I liked her Skulduggery. She was in love with my great grandfather, and she didn't care what he looked like. Well scratch that, she loved him for what he looked like, and that petty, spiteful old biddy- Sorry."

"No don't be sorry Valkyrie, that's your family and you should love them. I'm sorry there isn't anything to be found in the Sanctuary library about it. Have you checked Gordon's?"

"No, not actually."

"Then there's something to do today, research." Skulduggery said, happily.

"That was the shortest day off in the history of the world, Skulduggery."

"True, but it was nice while it lasted."

* * *

At Gordon's Skulduggery chatted with my uncle while I prowled the bookshelf of his private study. There was nothing there about the armour or even our family, but I could sense the two men wanted privacy. I'd shut the door to the study when my mobile rang. Tanith.

"Hey sis, what's up?" I asked.

"You'll never believe what Ghastly did."

"Um, OK."

"He got _rid_ of the tattoos China gave him! Now we have a matched set."

"You're kidding!"

"No! He showed me they're gone. I'm so happy, Valkyrie you can't belive how much better it is to kiss him without them."

"Aww. That's so sweet. I'm happy for you, both of you. You both deserve to be with someone you love."

"So do you."

"Well, I am-"

"Oh, right, sorry."

"No, don't be. I haven't seen him this happy in years, Tanith. Making my best friend happy matters more to me than anything else right now, except maybe solving the case."

"You are a good friend to him."

"I know."

"Oh, Ghastly just walked in, I've got to go." The line went dead and I pocketed my mobile.

* * *

I walked out to my uncle's study and both men jumped guiltily. "Don't get up all at once." I growled, good naturedly. "I'm going to get some coffee downstairs."

They both remained silent watching me cross the room. I shook my head and went down to the kitchen. I knew Skulduggery was talking about me again, but why? I sighed, wishing not for the first time that men came with instruction booklets. I took my coffee into the living room and flipped on the TV. It felt strange being here. It was my home, but being here usually meant being without Skulduggery. I knew the time was coming when I'd have to return home alone.

I couldn't just move in with him after all. Nor could he move in with me, not that I would have minded. He had his own world. A world filled with people his own age that I could never reach him in. I thought back to the night of the ball. Him dancing with China, the rather obvious attraction between them. His getting rid of the tattoos had been a Pyrrhic victory for me at best, because I knew he had to love her. Then one of the Dead Men had hinted of other women, and I just stood there, knowing I loved him even back then, with a polite smile on my face. God, these thoughts were depressing.

I flipped the TV around, searching for a movie, a show, anything to cheer me up. Nothing caught my interest. An old movie caught my eye. James Cagney. Had no idea what it was, but he was a gangster. I was enjoying it, cheering him on, when I realized Skulduggery was in the room.

"Did I just hear you say 'shoot those dirty rat coppers', Valkyrie?"

I felt the heat rise to my face. Skulduggery just looked at me and I hurriedly flipped off the set.

"I leave you alone for five minutes and you go to the Dark Side. I see how it is. I was going to suggest I take you to lunch, but if you have a sudden urge to shoot Johnny Law, and that would be _me_ by the way, frankly, I'm afraid to."

I laughed and went to walk around him, but he caught me in a hug. "If you became a gun moll I think I'd become a criminal just to make you happy."

I smiled into his shoulder and hugged him back. "I know, and if you become a criminal kingpin I'll be your gun moll, agreed?" I felt him nod, then he released me. I smiled fondly at him and we walked to the front door together. I realized then that maybe not understanding men was what made them so appealing, most of the time.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, story is still in her POV.

* * *

I looked down at my hand as Skulduggery drove, glad to be free of the ring. I'd hated the icy coldness of it, hated what using it made me feel like, but I'd willingly put it on a long time ago to rescue him. Now it was gone and I felt free. Skulduggery glanced over at me. "Any regrets?"

"None. But I keep waiting for the world to end."

"Sorry?"

"Not having the ring on, I feel free. I don't feel like I deserve to be free, but it's like I am anyhow."

"Valkyrie! You've never done anything to deserve imprisonment or Necromancy. You'll be able to concentrate more fully on your Elemental skills now, so training should be even easier. This freedom, is that why you didn't use the ring that night when we sparred?"

"I guess so. You were being really nice, so it didn't seem fair to use shadows on you."

"I'm never really nice, but I appreciate the sentiment. Will you do me a favor and ring Ghastly? I want to see if there are any developments."

"Um, I think Ghastly is busy right now."

"Don't be nonsensical. He's an Elder, he's not allowed to be busy."

"When I was in Gordon's private study Tanith called, but hung up when he came in the room. She was quite happy about some new developments."

"I beg your pardon? No, I don't want to hear it." He sounded offended.

"God, no, nothing like that. He got rid of the facade China gave him." I tried to keep the happiness out of my voice and failed.

I sensed him rolling his eyes, not even sure how he managed it. "You women. So fickle. First you love the facades, then you don't."

"Yeah, go with _that_ theory."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Skulduggery, but they were Michael Meyers creepy. I never said anything because you're my best friend and partner, but gah!"

"I learn something new about you every day, Valkyrie. Was it the eyes? It was, wasn't it?"

"No it was that it wasn't the real you."

"Yet I could move around in public like any other man." He sounded slightly bitter.

"Except for when it malfunctioned or only lasted half an hour. Skulduggery, you're not regretting getting rid of the facade, are you?" I asked, hurt over the slim chance it had something to do with China.

"Lord, no! I just, I liked appearing normal, sometimes."

"You are normal, no you're better than that, you're dashing and you know it."

"I am, aren't I? Well well, you don't like seeing me feel sorry for myself, do you? Some people would accuse you of caring for me." He sounded amused.

I snorted in contempt. "No I don't." I looked out the window, not wanting to meet his gaze. _Cop on to yourself, Valkyrie. He meant nothing by it._ I told myself. "Where exactly are we going for lunch if you don't mind me asking."

"Ah, the first crime scene. Thought we'd pick something up on the way there. That OK with you?" I smiled and nodded. Only Skulduggery could call grabbing take away on the way to a crime scene lunch, but it was another thing I liked about him. I did have to eat hanging out of the car window lest any crumbs fell in his precious Bentley. Luckily he considered a bottle of Coke safe enough to drink inside the speeding car. "You know, Skulduggery, I let people eat in my car."

"That's because you drive an ugly heap of bolts."

"Skulduggery, my Chevy isn't ugly!"

"Of course it isn't. My mistake." He held up a hand. I fumed silently. He always knew how to strike a nerve with me, even without meaning to. I knew he meant nothing by it, was teasing me, but I had an idea that that car would be all the company I had in the world one day, and I didn't like hearing her disrespected. That thought worried me. Was this some kind of delayed reactions to Lovegate's tea?

Skulduggery noticed my silence. "Sorry." His voice was soft, almost regretful. What was going on with him? He never apologized. The Skulduggery I knew would normally just insult me more when he managed to anger me.

"No it isn't you. I just had a vision of being alone with that car one day, like those barmy women you see with all the cats. It was depressing, Skulduggery."

"I can always smash it for you, like I did with the ring, then the vision won't come true."

"Skulduggery, don't you dare touch my car."

"I wouldn't get close enough to touch it. You could have gotten a Bentley, you know."

"That wouldn't have struck you as stalker type behavior?"

"Not at all. A Bentley is a car I wouldn't mind riding in. Well, not with you driving, but anyone else."

"Skulduggery, the man who owns a Festiva does not get to mock a classic car. Ever."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Other than it's ugly with a tiny engine?"

"That engine has plenty of power, you're just jealous."

"Shut up." Surprisingly, for once, he did.

* * *

We got to the crime scene, a wooded area with park benches. Luckily it was late afternoon and there were no visitors. Skulduggery sat sullenly, refusing to move or speak. "Skulduggery, quit pouting."

Silence.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

More silence.

"Is this about the Festiva? I apologize, it's a lovely car, with plenty of power."

He looked over. "You're just trying to make me feel better."

"Is it working?"

"Maybe a little." He still didn't move.

"Are we getting out anytime soon?"

"Hmm? Oh you go ahead Valkyrie, you don't need the man who drives such an ugly car to escort you." In his disguise he looked like a sulking version of Claude Rains.

"Skulduggery?"

"Mmm?"

"If you don't get out of this car right now, I'm singing 'Soft Kitty' off key at the top of my lungs until you move."

"You know torture was banned under the Geneva Convention, don't you?"

"Ha ha, move it, Mister." We got out and Skulduggery went to the boot for my armour. He came back and handed it to me, saying nothing. Oh, so that's how it was? I put the armour on, making sure my gloves were on and my face was covered. The hat and upturned collar hid my eye sockets or would have had any people been present.

I felt the worries and negativity of the past few days fall away and my dead senses flooded in. I walked the crime scene slowly, regretting that it had be released to avoid any prying by the garda. A confusing scene of overlapping traces met my eyes, and I could sense not only the killer but the victim's last moments as well.

I put my hand on a bench to steady myself, and a vision flooded in, unbidden. I saw the murder. Saw how the victim had been lured there, a letter in his hand. Blackmail? Saw the killer. Large, blond, but clad entirely in brown leather, even his face was obscured by a scarf. I thought I made out a scar, and eyes rheumy with age.

But the brow was young, and he was indeed the huge and powerful man Skulduggery had described. I reached out, trying to sense the man. The killer lifted his hand, pointed at the victim, and the victim froze. The killer twisted his hand and the pieces feel into their assigned places. He took a skull out then, with Skulduggery's initials on it, and smashed it with savage force. The vision ended, and I realized I was on my knees.

Skulduggery's gloved hands were on me then, guiding me onto the bench. "Easy now. Easy." His voice was soothing, his hand rubbed by back gently.

"I saw him, the killer."

"But you had visions of him before, Valkyrie."

"This was different. I saw what I could of his face. He is aging, his eyes at least have aged. I saw him kill the victim. The victim had a letter, it sounds like blackmail, but no letter was found, was it?"

"No, there were none. Anything else? Anything at all?"

My voice was dull as I recited the details. "The killer is blond, male, largely built. He wears all brown leather, a tan color, and he covers his face with a scarf. He has a puckered scar running from above his right eye down his entire face diagonally. He's... I could almost see his face. He's ugly, people would notice. There's something brutish about him. He was beautiful in a masculine sense at one time, but what he's become shows. His hands are artistic, yet somehow ugly and large. It's as if his entire body is changing somehow. " Gulping for air I didn't need, I continued. "He was wearing boots, but they were clean. So were his clothes and even his hair. So we know he isn't living as a homeless man, and the clothes looked fairly new. He's well-fed, with a solid mass to him. That's all, except the kill."

"Thanks enough, Valkyrie, that's enough, no more." He pulled me close, removing my hat, stroking my armoured skull and burying my skeletal face in his shoulder. I felt my entire frame tremble. The tremors increased and Skulduggery wrapped his arms around me. "What's wrong with me, Skulduggery?"

"You know what's wrong. This time it's personal. How do you think I would feel in your place, seeing a man who wants my partner dead killing people like that?"

"Not too good, I guess."

"Not too good at all. You're being terribly brave about this, you know. Don't you think it frightens me knowing Lovegate could be alive and hunting you? Don't you think I'm terrified of loosing you? But we'll get through this, Valkyrie, we always do."

I sat up, looked at him. "This is a stupid question, but you'd miss me?"

"Good Lord yes! Why wouldn't I?"

I shrugged. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you've had so many partners I didn't think you'd mind much if I went missing."

"If you 'went missing', Valkyrie, I'd hunt down and kill the man who did it. You don't think you don't matter because I've had partners before do you?"

I shrugged again. "I'm not saying I don't matter, Skulduggery, I'm saying there will be partners after me, and that makes me happy, really. I worry about leaving you on your own."

Even through the disguise he looked like I'd struck him. "Is that what you think, Valkyrie? That I'd just go out and find your replacement? That I wouldn't be devastated over loosing you? Do you think, even for one moment I'd stay with the Sanctuary after I lost you? You are my partner, Valkyrie, the first real and full partner I've ever had in every sense of the word. You're the only one whose ever really cared if I come back from each case, and even though I tell you to run if I ever died, I know you won't listen. You're far too loyal to leave me, even then. So how do you ever think I'd leave you and wouldn't fight and die by your side as well?"

"Oh, Skulduggery. Please don't say that. I don't want you dying, not for me." We were both silent for a long time, not moving. I knew I had to say something. But what? We were both terrified and miserable. "I wish he was here right now and I'd shoot him in the face." I growled.

Skulduggery looked over at me. "Now, now, Valkyrie. Violence where get you nowhere."

"Violence gets you everywhere."

"But you're too beautiful to be so violent."

"That's sexism, that is. I'm reporting you to the Sanctuary. I'm filing charges."

"Oh no, you won't. Remove the armour please." I did as he asked. "See? Far too beautiful to be so angry at the world. People will say I'm a bad influence. Then there will be talk of sensitivity training and the officials yapping about 'gender roles' this and 'appropriate conduct' that. Don't you dare shoot the bad man in the face. _I'll_ shoot him in the face."

"Then they'll drag _me_ in for sensitivity training, Skulduggery. Why don't we shoot him at the same time?"

"That's a lovely idea. We'll just run it by Ghastly first to see if it's OK to become a death squad instead of doing our jobs."

"You take all the fun out of life, you know that?"

"So I've been told. Most often by you." He smiled and helped me off the bench, looking down at me rather smugly.

"You're gloating again."

"I've got a pretty partner who thinks the world of me, I'm allowed to gloat."

"Do I get to gloat?"

"If you insist, but I'm better at it than you."

"You never get tired of yourself, do you?"

"Why would I, when I'm so wonderful? Come on then, homeward bound and all that." The Bentley was warm and before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep, my emotions having drained me. I stirred briefly, then woke ever so slightly to realize I was on Skulduggery's couch, his meditating form close by. I closed my eyes and dreamed of a world with no killers, only Skulduggery and me enjoying ourselves on endless adventures.

* * *

When I awoke it was night, Skulduggery was sitting up, hat off. His long legs were stretched out in front of him as he read his paper from earlier that day. "There's dinner for you in the kitchen if you're hungry. " He paused, looked at me over the paper. "You know, reading a paper is easier when it isn't a contest. " I smiled, got up and stretched. "Do you want some company while you eat?" He asked, his voice hopeful.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

He shrugged, folded the paper neatly and followed me into the kitchen. More take away boxes, this time it was ground steak with potatoes on the side and a large Styrofoam container of coffee. "Is that all right?" He asked, tilting his skull.

"Yes, it's perfect. I just don't even know where you manage to get take away like this so fast."

"Well, you were asleep and I do have a mobile."

"You are a man of many talents, Skulduggery Pleasant."

"Skeleton."

"Man first."

"So says you. I am the Skeleton Detective, after all."

"You're annoying is what you are." I grumbled good naturedly before grabbing a forkful of food.

"Valkyrie, it doesn't bother you that I'm a skeleton does it?"

"You asking the woman who spends half her time as a skeleton?"

"Point taken, but does it?"

I looked up at him in surprise. "No Skulduggery, it doesn't. It never has it never will. I'm starting to worry about you. Where's the man-"

"Skeleton."

"OK, where's the skeleton who thinks he's God's gift to the Universe? I liked him."

Skulduggery sighed, took his gloves off. "I'd like to know about that one myself. It doesn't normally bother me you know, it is something to take pride in, being unique as I am. But well, since that first night I saw you in the armour I suppose I'm shaken, that's all."

"See if I ever kiss you again." I scoffed.

"That's it exactly. I can't exactly kiss you, can I?"

I put down my fork. "Skulduggery Pleasant, you said that was a mistake, remember? That you should never have kissed me. I'm fine with that and I forgive you. Don't go soft on me now because you regret it that much."

He just looked at me, and I went back to my food. I could feel his stare and looked up. "Sorry." I said. He gave the barest shrug. "Skulduggery, I apologize. I just don't take rejection very well, you know that. But it was a lovely kiss all the same."

"It was?"

"I assumed you heard that kind of thing all the time." I teased. I swear he blushed.

"I do not, I don't know what kind of man you think I am."

"I seemed to remember a mention of scandal at the ball."

"Not _that_ kind of scandal. Really, Valkyrie." He answered primly.

"I forgot, my partner's the patron saint of chastity, he is. Mea maxima culpa."

He laughed. "So it was a good kiss, then. Even without lips?"

"Your teeth work perfectly well."

"I'm relieved to hear that." He said, drily. I shook my head. At least he was feeling better, but how was he shaken by just one kiss?

* * *

Skulduggery was quiet the rest of the evening. Not depressed, just quiet. Every so often I'd feel him glance over as I read the paper. I went for my bath, wondering just what had gotten into him. I wasn't a child after all. Expecting him to have been as pure as the driven snow in all the centuries before he met me was ridiculous.

Then there was China. Every man loved China of course, to some degree, that was her magic. I'd learned to see through the magic to the woman underneath, breaking the spell forever. Somehow that had only made it worse, seeing all the men and women who fawned over her. I'd seen how Skulduggery looked at her, and I could still remember the expression on his face when he held her close at the ball. But, I reminded myself, I had no just cause to be that upset. He wasn't mine to claim and never would be, current odd behavior and insecurities aside.

I was reached for the battery powered radio, turning it on. Some mindless ads played, then Evanesence came on, 'I Believe In You' not exactly cheerful, and it spoke to me, reminded me how impossible or partnership could be at time. I just adored the part about looking in the mirror. Skulduggery, I decided, was holding up very well. My great grandfather to so many generations ago had taken the armour wrong, seen it as a mockery of his face, as every twist and scar was there in a perfect copy. My grandmother has listened to his snide words, saying nothing, and left him with food and drink.

She never once told him the truth. When he did realize it, after death, he'd already spent a lifetime berating the man, well woman, he'd thought mocked him. In absolute remorse his shade had hovered by my grandmother's side, refusing to leave her. She's given up magic for him, so he didn't have long to wait until she joined him.

But finding out the truth, about all she had done and all she had given up changed him. Skulduggery, of course, with his continental-sized ego had been flattered. He'd also taken me giving up Necromancy in his stride, because after all it was what he wanted. 'You Had a Bad Day' came on the radio and I had to laugh.

What was I feeling sorry for myself for? I still had the best partner I'd even known. Were were best friends, even with nothing in common. I couldn't have gotten him to watch the You Tube video of the song for anything. I thought of my favorite version, with the Joker getting smacked around and had to grin. That was it, enough feeling sorry for myself.

I got out of the bath and got dressed. Maybe I had had a bad day by some standards, going to pieces like that and humiliating myself in front of my partner, but I'd turn it around. What we honestly needed was a few good days apart to reset. At the very least, I thought as I crawled into bed, I'd go have some fun. Maybe listen to good music, the kind Skulduggery couldn't stand, or go to the movies. A bookstore, the mall. It was about time I remembered I could have fun in my life, all on my own.

I fell asleep with these happy thoughts, fairly sure I'd enjoy the next several weeks rediscovering all the fun I used to have before I let myself get caught in his orbit.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, still her point of view. Yes I somewhat quoted Landy from a video. Hello, Derek. Please don't sue me!

* * *

Dressing hurriedly, I took the steps downstairs the next day two at a time. There was already coffee brewing and a box of doughnuts awaited me. "Good morning, Skulduggery." I said cheerfully. He smiled, seeming surprised at my good mood.

"Well, you're awful chipper this morning. Sleep well?"

"Extremely well, thank you. Are we needed at the Sanctuary today?" I asked, accepting the coffee he poured and snagging a doughnut.

"No, and it is, as you can see, raining. While I'd normally love to make you train in the mud with the armour on you'd be a living lightning rod."

"Too true, we have nothing else to do with the case then, no research?" I couldn't kep the happiness out of my voice.

Skulduggery crossed his arms and looked at me before answering. "No, of course not. Is there something you've been dying to do that the case has been getting in the way of?" He sounded annoyed with me.

"Not at all, but I figured what's the use of being here and doing nothing? I can go home to Gordon's until we get any leads, work on my Chevy, that sort of thing."

"I see. Well then as soon as you're finished I'll drive you over." He did, and I got out happily. I turned and waved to him, then slipped inside. It was good to be home. To get on with my life and remember that I could have fun without the man. I was just settling down in front of the TV when I heard a knock at the door.

I was instantly cautious, clicking off the set. Skulduggery never used the door, so I knew it wasn't him. I drew a small Remmington .45 automatic from a side table. Silently, I crept up the hall and edged beside the front door, gun at the ready. The visitor knocked again. "Hello?" I called.

"Valkyrie? It's Skulduggery."

I sighed, pocketing my firearm and opened the door. He strolled in, noting the outline of the gun in my pocket. "Paranoid much?" He asked tartly.

"I'm a delicate little flower, all on her own in the big spookity mansion."

He laughed and we started for the living room. "I wouldn't like you if you were a delicate little flower. You're more like a-"

"If you say bracken, I'll shoot you."

He chuckled. "I was going to say more like an iris, the giant variety of course."

"That's actually quite sweet of you. What color?"

"Mmm?"

"What color of iris?"

"Black comes to mind, you wear a lot of it." I smiled, put the gun away as we reached the living room. "You keep a lot of guns tucked away, do you?"

"Some."

"You never cease to amaze me."

"Not that I'm not happy to see you again so soon, Skulduggery, but do you need something?"

"Hmm? No, no. I wanted to make sure you were all right. Being alone as you are in the big spookity mansion and all."

"You're bored already, aren't you?" I asked with a sigh.

"Yes." He admitted.

"God. Well, we could go see Ghastly if he's in his shop."

"Yes we could, but didn't you have a date with that rusting hulk of ugliness you drive?"

"Christine can wait."

"You named your car Christine?"

"Of course I named her."

"You frighten me sometimes, you know that? Now that I know she's a homicidal bucket of bolts I'll be more respectful."

I laughed and we went out to the Bentley. How I wondered, did he always get his way with me so easily?

* * *

Ghastly was indeed in, and as we walked in I could see Skulduggery was terribly pleased with himself for getting my away from Gordon's mansion. After all, he's single-handedly convinced me I needed to be with him more than I needed a break from him. I shook my head at his charming arrogance and caught Ghastly's look. He knew Skulduggery had gotten away with something. "Skulduggery, stop posturing, it's annoying." He growled, but Skulduggery just tilted his head back, far too pleased with himself to listen. He was humming to himself.

"Valkyrie, I blame you for this." Ghastly said, giving me an exasperated look.

Tanith sauntered it. "That's no way to talk to my sister."

"I have a preening skeleton in my shop, I have a right to complain."

Tanith grabbed me by the elbow and led me to the back room. "Men." She muttered. She closed the door and smiled at me. "So what is he so chuffed about?"

"I told him I wanted a few days off."

"And?"

"And after almost getting shot for knocking on my front door he managed to charm me into suggesting we do something together."

"You spoil him, sis."

"Oh ho, and you don't spoil Ghastly?" I teased. Tanith blushed.

"Well maybe a little, but they're men, they need spoiled. If you treat them like a woman they go to pieces."

"How's that?" Ghastly stood in the now open doorway, looking annoyed.

Tanith feigned innocence. "We were talking about the officials at the Sanctuary. Pure children, all of them." I coughed to cover up a laugh and Ghastly shot me a look. Tanith went over to him, rested her head on his shoulder. "I wouldn't ever talk about you." She cooed. My face hurt from smiling so hard, and I turned away as he kissed her, affording them some privacy.

"Yes, you would. You get it from Valkyrie, who picked up the habit of insulting Elders from Skulduggery. Speaking of which, how come you never call me anything but Elder Bespoke?" He asked, looking at me.

I burst out laughing and he sighed. "I thought as much. You have no respect for authority, you know that? I blame Skulduggery for that as well."

"Blame me for what?" Skulduggery came in to slouch against the doorframe.

"World hunger." Ghastly said, rolling his eyes. He turned back to me. "Your boots are ready, by the way. Would you like to see them?"

"Yes, I would love to. I thought you said they'd be impossible."

Ghastly smiled, drinking in the compliment. "I can do amazing things when that annoying child of a partner of yours isn't distracting me. Do you know he plays with everything he sees when he's bored? Skulduggery, put that down!"

Skulduggery put a pair of shears down and came to stand beside me. "Nice of you to defend my honour." He grumbled.

"My mistake. Ghastly, I'm sure he's only figuring out the case he's working on at the time and needs to manipulate something physical to do it." Even I didn't buy that, but Skulduggery nodded proudly.

"That's it, exactly. It's nice to see my genius appreciated."

Ghastly ignored him and went to a cupboard, pulling out a magnificent pair of boots. They matched the rest of the outfit perfectly, except that they were the deepest blood red, like the sleeves of the coat I was wearing. I admired the square cut heel and toes, the sweep of the boot as it lifted up past the ankle.

"Ghastly, they're beautiful. You've truly outdone yourself this time." He smiled, pleased at the compliment. He handed them over. "Why don't you place them in the Bentley? We can have tea and you can tell me anything new about the case you two have learned."

Skulduggery took the boots from me. "I'll do that. I don't trust you not to scratch my Bentley in revenge." He walked out, managing to look indignant. Most likely he was.

"What was that all about?" Ghastly asked.

"He keeps insulting Christine."

"Ah. Well, you have the better car, and he's a poor loser. He always was." We went out to the main shop area, Ghastly making tea and Skulduggery joined us. I explained the vision calmly. Ghastly nodded, asking a few questions. He sat back then and sighed.

"Why couldn't you have picked a nice, normal partner, Valkyrie?"

"This one saved my life. Repeatedly. He's a keeper."

"I'm glad you want him, no one else does."

Skulduggery managed to look annoyed.

"He has his uses. He once saved me from a nefarious Siamese cat that was abducting women to serve in his crime syndicate."

"How did he manage that?"

"He talked so much the Siamese cat threw himself out the window in despair. Saddest thing I've ever seen."

Ghastly burst out laughing and Skulduggery shot me a dirty look. "You I'll deal with later." He growled.

* * *

He was still miffed as we went to the Bentley. It didn't help things when Ghastly couldn't stop laughing. Ghastly had waved us off, telling us to do as we pleased for a few days so we'd be fresh for the case. I nudged Skulduggery with my shoulder when we got in. "Come on, being able to outtalk a Siamese cat is quite the accomplishment."

He shot me a glare and crossed his arms over his chest. Then his resolve broke and he smiled at me. "Seat belt." He started the Bentley then looked at me. "Where to?"

I shrugged. "I haven't the foggiest. It's still raining, but we could try for training."

"Said the armoured lightning rod."

"So we hope the killer strikes on a cloudless day?"

"Point taken. To tell you the truth, I don't feel like getting wet."

"I didn't think you did. Who do we know that we can go annoy, then?"

"We just annoyed Ghastly and Tanith. We could go back to Gordon's if you like. You were looking forward to a few days off and it isn't fair of me to drag you away."

"Said the man who knocked on my door in under five minutes. I just can't leave you alone, can I?"

"Don't exaggerate, Valkyrie. I was merely worried about you. No need to make a Federal case out of it." He said smoothly. He drove then, dropping me off at Gordon's and I watched him pull away. The man ran hot and cold. I figured the song fit him perfectly.

* * *

That night I was into dusting Gordon's study, the stereo booming when my mobile rang. Skulduggery. I ignored it. I wasn't sure what he was being so prissy about. Even best friends and partners needed time off. Five minutes later it rang again, I swore it was shriller and louder. Skulduggery again. I sighed, flicked off the stereo in defeat. "Yes, Skulduggery?"

Silence on his end. Then a click. I stood still. Was this him being strange and calling me to ignore me, or was he in trouble? Swallowing my pride, I dialed his number.

"Oh, hello, Valkyrie. How nice of you to call." There was a note of annoyance in his voice, the man felt neglected.

"Are you all right, Skulduggery?"

"Yes, Yes, I'm fine. Not that you would care. How goes your liberation?"

I shut my eyes. How did he always do this? He was guilting me into what he wanted with a few choice words. "Well, I've missed you." I admitted.

"Really, now?" He sounded pleased. "Then you'll love this." I heard a tap at the study window, and looked up to see Skulduggery perched precariously on the ledge. The rain had stopped, and the moon had come out, giving a glow to his skeletal features.

I shut off my mobile and went to let him in, grinning. "How long have you been out there?"

He enveloped me in a hug, and I happily hugged him back. "You like me, you really, really like me." He teased.

"Skulduggery, you need new jokes. That one hasn't been used since 'The Mask'."

"But it's still funny." He let me go, ruffling my hair. I scowled and backed off, smoothing my hair back into place.

"How long were you out there?"

"Long enough. Now don't you have to figure out a way to entertain me? I am a guest."

I gestured to take in the office. "Books, they're really well-written books and filled with words. Words, glorious words. Knock yourself out."

He made an amused sound. "I don't feel like reading."

"You can watch me cook dinner then."

"Why cook when I brought you dinner?"

"What?"

"More Chinese, you'll find a sack of it in the kitchen."

"You broke into my house to feed me? That's rather sweet of you, actually."

"You didn't even notice either what with that stereo waking the dead. But I reset all your alarms and magical shields and wards. I could even have better put in place if you like."

"I'd appreciate that." I was feeling rather guilty now about singing the lyrics to 'Hot and Cold' in my head all day. But this was an example of just that, so I didn't feel too bad about it. I started humming the song as we walked down the stairs.

Skulduggery titled his head. "That's more of that noise you call music, isn't it?"

"Yes it is." I said serenely. We reached the kitchen and I flipped on the light and came to a stop. A sack of take away sat on the counter. Beside it sat something that looked like a dismantled bomb.

"Oh, Skulduggery you not only cooked, you remembered our anniversary. What a prefect work husband you are."

He snorted and walked over, picking up the deactivated bomb. "It's a present, after dinner we can pull it apart and put it back together again. It's about time you learned basic bomb making and defusing skills."

I took the Chinese to the table. Pepper steak this time, and several other cartons. Once again, a lage container of green tea. I dug into the meal, famished. I realized I hadn't eaten anything since the doughnuts at his house. Being a detective was giving me all sorts of healthy habits. Skulduggery watched me eat for a while, seemingly content to watch my enjoyment.

"You know, you are going to go broke one of these days if you keep spoiling me like this, Skulduggery."

He waved a dismissive hand. "I was serious about saving up a good-sized fortune, Valkyrie. Nick Charles I am not."

"Good, because I'm not about to support your hedonistic lifestyle."

He beamed at me. "Hedonism is the eighth virtue and the only lifestyle worth living. It gets me the sharpest suits, the most beautiful partner, and the best car money can buy. "

"You picked me for a partner because I'm beautiful?"

"Yes indeed. You can be my girl Friday if you want. I don't mind." He said serenely.

"What's the Sanctuary penalty for justifiable homicide?" I asked, through gritted teeth.

"Now, now Valkyrie. Finish your dinner and we can play with the lovely bomb."

I finished, thoughts of planting the bomb in the Bentley dancing through my mind. But I honestly loved the car almost as much as he did. I led him one of the attached garages, where Christine sat in her beauty. Her top was down and she almost looked thoughtful as I went to give her sweeping left front fender a pat. She faced inwards, towards the workbench since I liked seeing her every morning I was there.

"How's my pretty girl, Christine?" I cooed, enjoying the look of distaste on Skulduggery's face. "You're just my little bitty pretty one, aren't you?" I cooed.

Skulduggery made a disgusted sound. "Why is she low to the ground Valkyrie, answer me that? Plus that hideous bulge in her hood, she's positively freakish." I'd hidden my car keys in my pocket. I touched the tiny remote and Christine roared into life, her headlights flicking on to capture Skulduggery in her high beams. He yelped and jumped back, then realized what I did and glared at me.

"That wasn't very nice."

"That's what you get for insulting a lady."

"Neither of you is a lady. How much did remote startup cost?"

"More than your suit did, I'd wager. But I use it. You have all sorts of tech in the Bentley you never touch."

"That you know of. Now come pay attention." I shut Christine off, giving her a final pat of affection and learned all about bombs. I noticed that Skulduggery paused from time to time to give Christine a furtive glance and I loved it. I could have sworn she winked at him.

* * *

Several hours later I was escorting Skulduggery to the front door, him dragging his steps. He stopped, turned towards me. "How long do you need off?" He asked, taking his hat off to flick invisible link from the brim.

"What time is it?"

He took out his pocket watch. "Four AM."

"Well let's see, I got off yesterday around noon I think and now it is the next day. I had practically a whole day off. What did I do with myself? Oh that's right, I enjoyed the silence." He stiffened. "God, Skulduggery, I'm joking. When do you need me back?" He shrugged, offended. It never ceased to amaze me how delicate his own feelings were when he loved to devastate everyone around him with his own sarcastic wit. "Skulduggery, look at me."

He shook his head, angrily looking at the floor. "Skulduggery, if you need me to come with you now, just say so."

He shook his head again. "No, no. I'll give you a call when I have any more leads. Good night, Valkyrie." With a stiff nod of his head he touched the brim of his hat to me and was gone out the door before I could say a word. I knew better than to run after him. He needed time to work through his anger. I sighed and shut the door. I almost rang Tanith before I remembered it was 4 AM. Normally I could have called Skulduggery and he'd have happily talked to me.

I sighed and made my way up to a shower then Gordon's old bedroom. I'd cut off contact with my family months before. I didn't do it to be cruel, but due to the fact that my not aging as the did would raise too many questions. People who specialized in such things had made sure everyone not magical hadn't a single memory of me. All traces of me had been wiped out. No room when I had slept, no clothes, year books, or school records.

My accounts had smoothly and seamlessly moved over to my taken name of Valkyrie Cain. I'd even found out there were banks that specialized in holding the funds of the magical community. Nothing fantastical, just as boring as regular ones, but it had shut off most of my contact with the non-magical world to make the transition.

I hadn't told anyone, but I assumed Ghastly knew being an Elder. I couldn't sleep, but lay there with my mind reeling. Skulduggery was, in a lot of ways my only family now and I'd have loved to go home with him if he asked, but he had to be the one to ask. I never invited myself over or asked him to pick me up. Though right then I'd have been happy to swallow my pride and call him. A tap came at the window and I realized I'd never heard the Bentley's engine start up.

I walked over the the window, let Skulduggery in. He seemed somber. "What's wrong?" I asked. He shook his head, staring at the floor. I paused. "This is probably the wrong thing to say, but I missed you."

He looked up hopefully. "Really?"

"Yes, really. Besides we may have two maniacs on the loose. Splitting up right now would be what stupid people do in horror movies, and we are _not_ stupid people."

He gave me a soft smile. "I missed you too, you know." I nodded. I could tell he wanted a hug in the worst way and couldn't think of a good excuse to ask for one. One of his unspoken rules of course, was that he always initiated all contact, except my punching him in the arm. So that's what I did.

"Ow! What was that for?" He grumbled, rubbing his arm.

"I missed doing it." He shot me a glance and went to sit against the wall. I got back into bed, but wasn't having much success falling asleep. I looked over at him. Just enough light filtered through the window in that I could make him out. I knew he wasn't meditating even though his head was down. It struck me then how thoughtless it was to have a grown man sit against the wall like that. It must have been insulting to him, but he did it, just to be near me. "There's a chair out in the hall Skulduggery, bring that in if you like and you can meditate."

He looked up, cocked his head. "The wall is lovely, thanks."

I sat up and looked at him. "Seriously?"

"Not really, no. But I don't want to be an imposition."

I bit back an automatic smart remark. He'd come here, trusting me to let him in and to not notice that he was refusing to be away from me for anything longer than serval hours at a time. "Pretty please? You'll look more detective-y in it. Quite dashing."

He grinned. "If you insist."

I switched on the light even though he didn't need it and Skulduggery brought the chair in. He sat it at an angle to the head of the bed. He settled in, propping his feet up on the bed, and looking throughly pleased with himself. "There are times I swear you're a cat in a detective suit." I said. He just grinned in response and folded his hands up on his chest, hat tilted down to cover his eye sockets. The sight was so sleep inducing I barely had time to shut out the light before falling asleep myself.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery Tainth, Ghastly, Springheeled Jack or Valkyrie. Val is still 24 story is still in her POV. BTW, you can use a broadsword with one hand, it just takes an enormous amount of strength. Got to love magical armour.

* * *

That afternoon I awoke and stretched, looking over at Skulduggery. He was still meditating. He looked downright adorable and it brought a smile to my face. He was the best possible friend I could ever have. I wondered briefly if we'd stay this close after the case and figured it didn't matter. He was here now, meditating this close to me. I realized that if he hadn't meditated in Ghastly's office or after he'd dropped me off then he was only doing it around me. I tried to think back, to remember how often he had to meditate, and couldn't remember.

I went in to shower, thinking random thoughts. Skulduggery could be an enigma. We'd be on a case and he'd either be talking constantly, or fall silent for hours at a time. I learned to tell the difference between just silence and meditation, but I left him be for either. I got dressed then went out to check on him. He was still meditating. I didn't want to wake him up, but I had the strangest reluctance to go to another part of the house and leave him alone. I settled on grabbing a Coke and leftovers from the cooler and checking my messages.

I took the food back up and he was still meditating. I settled in, realizing I was keeping vigil over him as he had done for me so many times. I'd once been told I was self-centered and just expected things handed to me. That I was heartless and cruel. I'd been told Skulduggery did the things he did because of that.

That it wasn't so much his free will, but a need to stay in my good graces. I didn't want that with him. I wanted him to stay, to be my friend because he wanted to be. Anything he even did I wanted to be of his own free will. I had always assumed it was, but now I wondered. Of course the same person also told me I had the emotional range of a dead man.

I was reading one of Gordon's novels when at last Skulduggery stirred. He saw the food, saw the book, and cocked his head. "You were meditating so hard I didn't want to wake you." I said.

"Why on Earth aren't you downstairs eating?"

"Because my partner's up here."

"You kept watch over me?"

"You do the same thing for me, all the time."

He smiled, didn't seem inclined to move. "Any calls?"

"Not a one. Ghastly did give us time off, remember?"

"Yet, you checked anyhow."

"Indeed I did."

"Bored of me already?"

"Never. I'd like to have the bad guy behind bars sooner rather than later. We've used up twelve days, counting today. We've got a little over two weeks left."

"Then today, my dear Valkyrie, I get to teach you the fine art of finding useful distractions."

"Like video games?"

"No, I was thinking more along the lines of a skill you think would help you be a better detective."

"Picking locks."

"Really?"

"Yes, there are locked doors in this mansion I'm afraid to have anyone else open."

"Good point. As soon as I can get you a set, I'll teach you, anything else?"

"Yes. Promise you won't get mad?"

"Usually when you ask that it is something you expect me to get angry about, but as you recall I rarely do."

"Did Ghastly say anything to you several months ago? About why I moved into the mansion?"

"No, I assumed it was for more independence."

"I had some people in the Sanctuary go talk to my family, all my family they could think of. So far as my family now knows I was never born."

He got rather still, then patted the edge of the bed. I went and sat there. He took my hands in his and looked at them. "Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I'd disapprove?"

"No, I just figured it was something I had to do on my own. I didn't even tell Ghastly, but I assume he knows. You were all born into magical families, I wasn't. I just have to tough it out, that's all."

"Tough it out? You do know that Ghastly, Tanith and I are your friends? You didn't have to tough anything out."

"I didn't want to appear weak, OK? I'm not the first person this has happened to. I honestly don't miss them like I thought I would, being away from them in a strange way is like freedom. They could never know me for the real me."

"Does Tanith know?"

"Of course not."

Skulduggery shook his head. "You should have come to me, Valkyrie, of all the people on this Earth, I'd understand. You think I can't because my family was magical? I still lost them, like you've lost yours. Why do you have to be so brave all the time? You've got nothing to prove to me, you know that."

He scooped me into his arms and I felt him place a kiss on top of my head. I was doing my very best to look and sound brave and he wasn't falling for it. Still I blinked back my tears. "I'm OK, Skulduggery, really."

"No, you're not, Valkyrie. You don't have to ever be ashamed to be in mourning, and that's where you are right now. Your family is lost, in many ways, in a worse way that mine was. You can still see yours, but never speak to them again." I flinched, but still fought the tears. I felt weak for even letting him hold me. He wanted a strong partner, not one who cried all the time. How many times had he had to hold me like this? He shouldn't have to.

"I'll be all right, really. This is nothing for me to get weak and sentimental over." I tried to get up, but he held me close.

"Valkyrie, nobody could be there for me when I lost my family. I wouldn't let them. Don't make the same mistake I did." At that I did cry, and he stroked my hair, and prattled on soothingly. After a while I felt calmer and he let me sit up. He looked at me, held my face in his hands, gently. "I'm going to call Ghastly and Tanith now. Well Ghastly, Tanith never shuts up on the phone, and I'm going to suggest you let us all take you to a late lunch. We take care of our own, Valkyrie. You are our family and you need to let us care for you, all right?"

I nodded, and busied myself with taking the takeout boxes down to the kitchen. I felt better with him knowing. I was also glad he was dealing with Ghastly and Tanith first, as I assumed a lot of shouting would be involved from both of them. I hoped they knew they were my friends, my magical friends and it had never occurred to me to come to then with a non-magical problem. I also liked looking independent and tough in front of them. Skulduggery wandered into the kitchen as I sipped some coffee.

"They can meet us this evening. Ghastly used some lovely curses I haven't heard in a century or so, but he wasn't angry with you. He's just angry you felt you had to face this on your own. If he starts lecturing you about how the one crazy guy to break rank and charge across no man's land all on his own gets shot, know that he's coming from a good place."

I smiled. "How did Tanith take it?"

"She was shouting something in the background about killing her no-good sister for not coming to her, but I assume that's what sisters do to one another. Mine did it all the time. Now that you know you have a lovely family of irate magical people on your side, don't you feel better?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm just glad you're not angry with me."

"Valkyrie, I became Lord Vile to deal with my feelings. I'm in no position to judge anyone."

"I'd love to hear the motivational speech he would give me."

"Most likely he'd tell you to kill all your enemies and then find new ones to kill. Not that he was much for talking." He said dryly and I laughed.

* * *

That evening we went to meet Ghastly and Tanith at the inn Skulduggery had taken me to by the final crime scene. I was nervous, but Skulduggery assured me they had had enough time to calm down and be civil. We pulled up and Tanith grabbed me in a crushing hug the moment I got out. "Hey, little sister! Off fighting battles and leaving me out? You know I'll have my revenge for that sooner or later, right? Just don't do anything that nobly misguided again, OK?" I nodded, and she let me go. We were going to walk in together when Ghastly stepped away from Skulduggery. I suddenly realized just how large and strong a man he was.

He loomed over me, looking down hard at me and shook his head. "He told you what happens when people run across no man's land alone?"

"Yes."

"Then don't do it again."

"Yes, Sir."

"Don't call me that, it's creepy." He smiled then, stepped out of the way so Tanith could escort me inside. We got the corner booth and she wriggled in beside me, looping a sisterly arm around my shoulders. We both ordered steak, Tanith fondly approving over medium rare.

"I've taught you well. Guess who got your great grandmother's sword out of impoundment, by the way? I did! It's in Ghastly's van, I had it polished for you."

"You didn't have to do that, you know."

"True, but I got to hold her for a while."

"You can have her if you like, I love the sword I have now."

"You're kidding. I can just have it?"

"Yes, you can. I didn't know she had several, but the one I have now is right for me. You should feel the balance on her, Tanith, and she's beautiful."

Tanith squeezed my shoulders in thanks. "I've never got to see the one you have now up close, but she's a good-looking one, for sure. Think you might let me hold her too?"

"You are sword crazy, but yes."

Tanith squealed, just about bouncing in her seat. Ghastly and Skulduggery just stared. "At least they aren't into shoes or dresses." Ghastly managed at last.

Skulduggery nodded. "We never have to take them shopping. I don't even know where they get civilian clothes from."

"We don't like them, Skulduggery." I answered. "The only time you see us in them is because we have to be."

Tanith nodded in happy agreement. "We women have to be ready for anything, a zombie horde might attack this inn at any moment."

Ghastly was about to reply when the steaks came. Tanith and I dug in, her telling me stories about what she was going to do when she caught Springheeled Jack again. We enjoyed ourselves, lingering over our coffee. At last we walked back outside. Tanith and Ghastly left, Tanith hugging me once more and Ghastly shaking his head.

Skulduggery came over to stand in front of me, hands stuffed in his pockets. "Well that went well. I noticed your big sister got between you and the big scary Elder." He teased.

"Yes, she did, and I appreciate that. But you know if he wanted to lecture me, he would have."

"Oh, I told him it wouldn't do any good, that I lecture you all the time and you tend to do the opposite."

"Skulduggery, you lied for me. That was very nice of you."

"I'm never very nice. Just protecting my partner. Who if I may take liberties, is coming to my house tonight so I can give tell her about the time I saved an orphanage from a fire, while battling zombies. That had guns, big ones. And ninjas, there were ninjas involved." I laughed and he tilted his head to press his forehead into mine. "I missed you during dinner."

"I was right across from you, but I know what you mean. I missed you too." He drew me into a hug, then held me at arm's length, smiling faintly.

"Don't you ever get the idea you have to face anything alone, ever again, all right?" He asked softly and I nodded.

* * *

On the drive home Skulduggery turned the radio on softly. He spoke to me, his eyes on the road. "You know, you're so much like me sometimes it's scary."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It wasn't meant as one."

"You meant it as a compliment to _you, right?"_

"Well, yes."

"See? I'll take it then." He shook his head and was about to reply when his mobile rang. He took it out, grunted, and listened, his body language growing tense. He grunted a few more times, and then flipped it closed.

"Well our first good news: Lovegate indeed burned. Pity I couldn't be there and push her in."

"That is great news. Maybe the killer will hop in after her."

"Wouldn't he just?"

"Skulduggery, is it just me, or do you refuse to talk to people you don't like?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well you grunted your way through an entire call just now for starters."

"Ah, that. You're right, I won't speak to people I don't like. They annoy me and I know I might shoot them if they say anything stupid. So I don't say anything they might say something stupid to. That and if I dislike people I just won't talk to them."

"That tends to prevent a lot of problems."

"Indeed it does. You on the other hand get to hear me speak all the time, you lucky girl, you."

"I like hearing you speak."

"Oh I know you do, and it's a fine thing, but I love hearing me speak."

"So I noticed."

* * *

 _Skulduggery made coffee again without even asking, and told me to make myself at home. I grabbed the paper I'd been reading and nearly dropped it. There, buried in the back of the paper was a small snippet about a bar owner who claimed to have run into a man clad all in brown leather who simply froze his hand off when the bartender grabbed him. The bartender of course was in the hospital under mental observation, missing hand or not._

"Skulduggery, look at this!" I showed him the article.

He read, then looked at me. "Well done! It sounds like our killer, doesn't it? I'll call Ghastly, and give him the good news. I have some other calls to make as well, so if you get sleepy, just have a lie down there." Sleepy? I felt excited. I watched him walk away as him often did when on his cell phone. I could hear his deep velvety voice make its way to his office. I leaned back and smiled to myself. I'd done something useful for the case.

Skulduggery had taken my paper, but I got his and looked for any other mentions of our killer. They're weren't any, so I tried the evening news. Nothing. Still, I'd done some research and found a lead. I was considering a second cup of coffee when Skulduggery sauntered back in. He took off his hat and placed it on the table, he looked at me a moment, then also removed the gloves before coming to sit beside me.

He casually put one arm on the back of the couch behind me, the bare hand hanging down by my shoulder. Then set the other hand down precisely on top of his crossed knees. I smiled at him and he blinked innocently at me. "I'd tell you you have perfect hands, but I'm sure you know that already." I said, and was rewarded with the arm behind me coming down to rest on my shoulders. I leaned into him slightly and he brought the other arm around me as well.

"You're an amazing young woman, Valkyrie Cain. I hope you know that. Despite everything you've been through you've remained level headed enough to stay on the case and found us the break we needed. I don't have to tell you how very proud I am of you right now, do I?"

"No, but it's wonderful to hear that you are. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my family before, but you were right. I do feel I have to impress you. That you'll only like me as long as I show you how strong I can be."

"It took more strength for you to tell me, for you to let us in and accept help. That's what I meant when I said you are so much like me. I've never let anyone in, except you. You I trust, and all I ask is that you trust me in return."

"Deal. I heard there's a James Cagney film festival on tonight."

"It won't inspire you to shoot me, will it?"

"No. I don't think so."

"You don't like him better than you like me, do you? I look much better in a suit."

"Plus you're a better fighter than he is. I'm fairly sure he couldn't fight off zombies and ninjas while rescuing orphans from a fire."

"So long as you know that." Skulduggery held me close, one skeletal hand coming to rest on my own. I brought up my other hand to clasp his hand in between mine. We stayed that way a long time, until sleep claimed us both.

* * *

The next morning Skulduggery informed me we were needed at the Sanctuary. "They found our killer?" I asked.

"No, but Tanith is well enough to spar now, and I know you'll go easy on her. A Cleaver would just cut her head off, especially after all the abuse she's hurled at them, trying to get them to fight."

I laughed and followed him to the Bentley. We indeed found her ready to fight in the same training room I'd fought Lovegate in. Ghastly gave me a warning look over her shoulder and I nodded back as she bent her head down to examine my sword. I'd put on my armour, and it made me uneasy. Tanith might be magical, but she was still just flesh and blood. I made a mental note to ask Skulduggery how he got over his qualms, if he had any.

She brought her head up, clearly feeling the need to insult me into a fight. "Cor, you're an ugly one, aren't you?"

I smiled back, slipping into the same fighting stance I'd used with Lovegate. "You're standing wrong, this isn't fencing."

"Don't worry about me, I know what I'm doing." I held my other arm down, my sword arm loose and ready. Tanith shrugged.

"Going to be a short fight then." She came at me, swinging her sword with both hands, intent on knocking mine away. I shifted, meeting her sword with the flat on my blade, then pressed it down, she staggered as she passed, and I turned to face her. "I'd like to see you do that again." She growled. I shrugged and she came at me again, frustrated by my side stance, and making the mistake of coming in low with her sword aimed at my midsection. I rapped her lightly on top of her head with the pommel of my sword as I sidestepped.

"Bloody hell, that hurt!" She snarled, rubbing her head. "I also know you're cheating, nobody can use a broadsword like an épée."

"Tanith, how many hands did a knight hold a sword in?"

"Two?" She started to circle me, growling.

"His shield floated magically in the air, did it? God woman, you should have been trained to fight like this. Who taught you how to use a sword anyhow, Capitan Crunch?" At my insult she roared and leapt, swinging for my head. She apparently didn't need any more rest if the boot she brought up to kick me in the chest with was any indication.

I laughed and leapt lightly backwards, refusing to fall. Tanith snarled, bringing her sword up in both hands. "Come on and have a go, if you think you're hard enough."

"OK, then, and two hands it is." I swung for her sword, the blow knocking her back, but she recovered quickly, to send a spinning kick into me. Before I could leap out of range, she followed it up with a blurred slash at my throat. I got my sword up in time and snapped out a kick myself, knocking her back. She growled, and blurred towards me again, moving faster than I'd ever seen her move before. Our blades met repeatedly, I was content just to hold her off.

"Come on, what's the matter, can't attack?" She taunted. "Maybe you're just a scared little girl." I resisted the urge to slice her head off and threw the sword to one side. I fell into a fighting stance. I knew any blows with my temper like that could have hurt her. Still, she taunted. "Oh, what are you going to do without the precious sword? Won't it do the fighting for you any more? Fine then, you want to loose, let's make this quick."

She charged forward, and I could tell she was tiring. I ducked her blade, scuttled back, arms still raised. I didn't even want to punch her if I didn't have to. "Tanith, let's call it a draw." She shook her head angrily. "Sis, you aren't even standing up straight. Don't insult the honour of my great grandmother's knighthood by asking me to fight you."

"That didn't even make any sense." She said, lowering her sword.

"Yes it did, I'd shame her fighting you like this. I have her honour to consider in this armour."

Tanith nodded, she respected honour. "All right then. A draw it is, though I was winning."

"True. I've never seen you move that fast before, by the way."

"I've been training."

"I can see that." I said dryly. I got my sword, sheathed it behind my back. Tanith smiled at me, sauntered airily past me.

"No mercy next time, little sister." She patted my shoulder and walked out, Ghastly following.

Skulduggery titled his head at me. "I especially liked the part where you refused to behead her."

"Oh, that. She can get on my last good nerve, but it gave me no right to hurt her. That's not the idea of training."

"This was sparring. You could have killed her, and would have if you hadn't learned to control your temper."

I nodded. "I know, it terrified me to look down at her, realizing how easily I could hurt her. But then, that kind of thinking gets you killed in war, doesn't it?"

"It usually does."


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Tanith, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, still her POV. Oh, Michael Collins is a name Irish readers should know, the man using it is being sarcastic. May well be the last thing he does, too.

* * *

Before we could leave Ghastly needed Skulduggery to go over the case with him and meet with any detectives who would be working on the new lead. I assumed this meant I got out of the briefing, but I didn't. "I'm not the lead detective on this case, Skulduggery." I grumbled. "Why don't you just go in and issue orders and tell me about it later?"

Skulduggery looked at me, his head tilting. "Are you saying you suddenly aren't working on this case?"

"No, I'm saying you're in charge. So you don't need me there."

"Valkyrie, this is _our_ case. We get to be in charge. True for once, I'll talk and you'll get to listen quietly, but this is our case remember?"

I sighed. "Sorry, I think that tea Lovegate gave me is still working overtime."

"That or the realization of what would have happened if you had lost your temper with Tanith just hit you. It's all right, Valkyrie, you're not a mindless killer. No matter what happens you aren't becoming Lord Vile, I won't let you."

I nodded and followed him in. I did sit quietly and listen to him talk, trying for once, to absorb what he was saying. He assigned specific tasks and I tried to remember who they went to, and what they were, so I wouldn't cover the same ground. I listened to his overall plan, Skulduggery stressing the need for caution with the killer. Under no circumstances was any detective to approach him alone.

An older detective scoffed. "With all due respect, he scared a mortal with a parlour trick. I don't think this guy's even that tough, they never are once you get them in a interrogation room."

Skulduggery stared at him. "What part of 'under no circumstances' didn't you understand? Nobody, and that includes you, is to approach him alone, got that?"

The detective just smiled, like he was going to do as he pleased, and felt Skulduggery was rather stupid. The detective was forty, going up against over four hundred. This was going to be good. Skulduggery tilted his head. "I've seen you around the Sanctuary but never met you before. What's your name?"

"Michael Collins." The detective smirked.

"Are you _challenging_ me?" Skulduggery's voice was deathly quiet. A few of the detectives left the table and put distance between them and the object of Skulduggery's undivided attention.

"Yeah, yeah I am. What are you going to do about it?"

I could see the smile the detective missed. "I'm going to take you into an interrogation room and see how tough you are." Skulduggery promised.

The detective paled. "You can't do that." He turned to me. "Tell him he can't do that."

I smiled politely. "I'm not stopping him." Right then and there another detective quit the Sanctuary without a word.

* * *

Skulduggery had a higher opinion of himself than usual afterwards, humming as we walked out towards the Bentley. I stowed the armour in the boot and got in, but he stood peering back at the Sanctuary. I got out. "What is it?"

"Mmm? Nothing, nothing. I was just thinking about things."

"Like?"

"Like how lovely it was to watch you circle around that detective like a winter-starved she wolf and pounce."

"Well, he challenged my partner."

"Indeed he did, and now we lost yet another detective and Ghastly will be overjoyed with me once more."

"Skulduggery, taking people into rooms and beating a false confession out of them isn't detective work. Who knows if any of the confessions he got are worth anything? Now we have to reopen all the old case files-"

"Careful, Valkyrie, you're starting to sound like a real detective. Like you care about justice and not an easy arrest. That will never make you popular with certain Sanctuary officials."

"They aren't ever opening those case files, are they?" I asked, sagging back against the Bentley.

"No, they aren't. Don't be so shocked, I've made bad arrests and you know it. He can still redeem himself at some point and maybe he will one day. I did, or I'm still trying to."

"Would you have taken him into an interrogation room at one time?"

"I still would." I nodded. Skulduggery turned and got in the Bentley. I got in beside him, silent. He pulled into traffic, staring straight ahead. The man needed cheering up.

"You should have. 'The beatings will continue until morale improves.' We can have it put on all the Sanctuary stationary." I said happily.

Skulduggery laughed. "That I would like to see, I truly would. Now a good question is, would you have let me take him into that room?"

"What room? I don't know about any room, and he tripped, a lot. Down endless stairs."

Skulduggery laughed again, the Bentley weaving the tiniest bit. "Stop, I'll crash the car."

"It's not my fault you find assault and battery funny."

Skulduggery wheezed in amusement, clutching the steering wheel tightly.

"Do you need to pull over?" I asked, eyeing him carefully.

He shook his head. "Valkyrie Cain, you do me a world of good. I'd have quit the Sanctuary a long time ago if it wasn't for you. But I stayed because I knew when the time came you'd be a force for good there. Or at least a major thorn in their side, like I am."

"Thorns are good."

We were on the open road now, headed back to Skulduggery's house. The day was warm and he rolled down the windows with a touch of a button. "See? I do use all the tech I have. The beatings will continue, I love that."

"You can even use the stick you got me, I'll lend it to you." Skulduggery smiled and started humming once more.

* * *

Skulduggery explained that the reason we weren't going to interview the bartender ourselves was that the Sanctuary had operatives that could see through his eyes with a touch. Another operative would convince him the meeting with them and the bar incident never happened. I didn't bother to ask how the missing hand would be explained away. I supposed they could convince him and the doctors it was a birth defect.

I went to our office and pulled something out from under my jacket, thumping it down on my desk. The detective who had resigned was supposed to comb through the forensics we had, and five victim's worth was a massive file. I opened the file with a sigh, noticing for the first time that Skulduggery had followed me in and was staring at me. I caught his gaze and shrugged. "Somebody has to do it, and I might as well learn how to read a report, or twenty."

I turned back to the forensics report for the first case. I was hoping for something foreign found at the scene like on TV, plant spores from a specific area, or something else that would help us tag him. Two hours later, I'd read the report five times and was still coming up empty when a cup coffee was set down in front of me. "Take a break for fifteen minutes, it will do you good. What are you looking for, if I may ask?"

"I was hoping for some sort of trace evidence from outside the crime scene. You know, a nettle that only grows in one area, or failing that, his wallet and ID." I teased and Skulduggery chuckled. "You did tell the detective who quit to look for anything to tie the killer to an area, right? I did hear you correctly?"

"Indeed I did. But what on Earth made you pay attention? You always tell me that's what I'm there for, to handle all the boring details."

"You said it was our case, so I figured I'd be responsible and productive for once, just to see what it feels like."

"Yes. I did. So give me some of those reports, there's no reason you have to tackle all of it." I handed the file over and he took the last three reports. "I think the first two will be enough for you to cover. But drink your coffee and relax. Would you like some music?" I nodded and he put the small radio that sat on one bookshelf on low. He put the files on his desk and came back over to sit on the edge of mine. He looked at me head tilted, but for once his expression was blank. "What's your real reason for reading the reports?" His velvety voice was soft, curious.

"I was told once I'm extremely self-centered to the point where I just expect everything handed to me. You deserve better than that in a partner."

"There's more to it than that. Confess."

"I was also told the only reason you do anything for me is to stay in my good graces, I don't want a partner like that. I want someone who knows he can depend on me."

Skulduggery reached out and patted my hand. "I know that. Here you are, willing to do the type of work you hate to help alleviate the case work, you're being a team player, I appreciate that. I always worried that when it came to paperwork or research you'd fold and never become a full detective, but here you are, helping me." He sounded faintly dazed.

"Skulduggery, are you going into shock?"

"Mmm?"

"Are you OK?" I asked with a nervous laugh.

"Yes, and no. Perhaps I am a little shocked. You're taking a genuine interest in every aspect of the case. Yes, I am shocked. Not in a bad way, and I'd always hoped you'd learn to love this aspect of our work, but I never thought I'd see the day. Yes, I'm most definitely in shock, and a good partner would assure me right now this isn't some sort of dream."

I came around my desk to sit beside him. "Apparently I was self-centered, Skulduggery. I just never realized you'd been waiting on me to step forward. I always assumed you'd complain and do the paperwork or read case files on your own because I chose to let you. That wasn't fair and it wasn't right, I'm sorry. I haven't been the type of partner you deserve, not really. I do by and large, take advantage of you, and that isn't fair to you. But I am trying to change, to become the partner you deserve. From now on, you can give me all the files to read over or paperwork you want to, promise."

Skulduggery just sat there looking rather dazed, so I continued. "You're not dreaming and nobody is going to take this away from you. I can never pay you back for everything you've done for me. You've saved my life countless times, you've taught me everything I know, you stood up for me when Ghastly and everyone else wanted to send me home after Gordon's death. You're the only person who always believed in me Skulduggery Pleasant, and I will never forget that."

I stopped, walked back to my chair and suddenly found my coffee cup and case file really interesting. Skulduggery looked at me for a moment, then went to his desk. We read for several hours, and every so often I felt him looking at me. I made notes the best I could, then got up, closing my files. I walked to the kitchen for more coffee and Skulduggery followed. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, then spoke. "I don't do things for you to stay in your good graces, you know. I do them because your my best friend and my partner. If you take advantage of me it's because I let you, that's true. But I know full well I take advantage of you all the time and you allow it to happen. Because we're friends and friends do that for one another."

I smiled, went to the fridge and found the last of the Chinese. I supposed it was still good. Skulduggery put on coffee for me and we sat at the kitchen table. He watched me eat, saying nothing, seemingly content just to be there. For a second. "You know Valkyrie, maybe we should change Sanctuary policy. All female detectives will have to start wearing dresses and kitten heels."

"I hate you."

"Lovely that. Do you know the last time I saw you in a dress was the ball? Why is that?"

"One, I hate dresses, except for the ones you give me. Two, I had to run to the Bentley and change. Dresses are useless bits of fluff if you as me."

"Mmm. So what are you wearing to the next ball then?"

"Oh God, I'm not going. One evening of that was enough for a lifetime."

"Why?" He whined.

"Watching people get drunk and squabble was never my idea of a good time."

"But there's dancing."

"I also hate dancing, right behind dresses."

"I thought you loved to go out dancing." He was still whining.

"People change."

"Well you certainly have. Willing to abandon your partner to an event like that. Where's the loyalty?" He huffed.

"Skulduggery Pleasant, you'll be in a room filled with your friends and other people you get to annoy. You should enjoy yourself. Besides that's decades from now. We're assuming there will be a ball."

"Good point, but still, if I don't ask you to go now, you'll find a way to avoid it when it does come around."

"Good Lord, are you saying you need me to go and keep you entertained?"

"Yes, pretty much."

"Do I get to wear a pantsuit instead?"

Skulduggery sighed. "The idea if for you to pick out a lovely dress and heels, but you can wear a tuxedo for all I care, just say you'll go with me."

"That was rampant sexism, but OK, I'll go. If for no other reason than to keep you from burning down the venue out of sheer boredom. I do believe there are several Dead Men just dying to tell me all about your scandalous past, so it should be fun."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"No I wouldn't actually. I wouldn't even do it to Ghastly, and he's fun to annoy; one tidbit about him and he turns the most interesting colors. Kind of like you are, right now."

"Drink your coffee."

"Yes, boss."

* * *

Skulduggery insisted we leave the reports until the next day. We hadn't found anything useful, but that he assured me, was half the fun of detective work. You got plenty of leads and only one that led anywhere useful. He called in for updates and of course they're weren't any, thought the operatives who spoke to the bartender were due back several hours ago.

Skulduggery frowned, and pocketing his mobile and looking at me. "Call it paranoia, but I don't like them turning up missing." He said.

"You never do. Would it help if we went to the hospital and looked around the back alleys? I've got dibs on all the dumpsters." I said cheerfully and Skulduggery beamed at me, then started for the front door at my suggestion.

"But digging around in trash for dead operatives is half the fun Valkyrie. Oh, very well, I suppose we can go, if you insist. Where the desire to do petty fieldwork is coming from is beyond me." He held the door open for me, following me into the cool night.

"I'm bored. Besides it's what I assume you'd do if you were on your own. You never like getting secondhand reports, you have to see for yourself." We walked to the Bentley, Skulduggery nodding in agreement.

Skulduggery smiled, opening the boot. "Because my dearest combat accessory, my dead eyes see so much more than living ones do. Plus I'm a better detective. Now armour up, it's going to be a long drive." I touched the armour, then adjusted my scarf and gloves. Skulduggery stared at me curious, as I lifted the boots out to put them out. "Shouldn't those have just went on with everything else?"

"After the first time I wear them, I think."

"Ah, that makes sense, actually. They go with your outfit quite well, I must say. Almost as good as seeing you in a dress."

"Again with the dresses." I stood, grabbing Skulduggery's shoulder for balance, tamping my feet slightly to get the boots the whole way on.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to see a beautiful woman in a dress."

I stook my head, taking a few practice steps. The boots fit perfectly, almost like a second skin. Which admittedly on top of the armour felt kind of weird. "These boots are wonderful, I owe Ghastly one."

"Valkyrie Cain showing gratitude towards an Elder? As I live and breathe!"

"Shut up, Skulduggery!"

"That's 'shut up, Detective' to you. We are going to have to work on you knowing the proper forms of address for Elders though. Some of them are quite prickly about it."

"I can't, Skulduggery. I'll burst out laughing. I don't know how you do it with a straight face."

"Because I have impeccable manners. That, and it isn't all that funny after the first hundred years or so. I always hated it myself, but then I didn't have Elders I liked."

"You have a problem with authority figures, you know that?"

"True, because they're never as wise as I am. You are though, well, almost. If I didn't need you as my partner I'd nominate you for the next Elder. A robe is almost as good as a dress."

"You're a very strange man, Skulduggery Pleasant."

"Skeleton, but yes, I am."

"Man first, I win."

Skulduggery sighed. "That isn't even a logical argument."

"That's why I win. It makes sense if you don't think about it too much."

"I'll try not to." He said drily as we got in. "Seat belt, and I still want to see you in a dress sometime."

"Oh, very well, I'll wear a dress to the next ball. Happy now?"

"Exceedingly."

He was, too. During the drive I caught him glancing over at me. "What?" I asked.

"I'm just wondering how to put this delicately. But you are a copy of me, isn't that weird to you?"

"You mean being male? I've adjusted. The form is male, yes, but I'm still a girl inside, I think."

"Woman, and yes you are."

"I appreciate the strength. Being able to mock people by standing en garde with a broadsword is fun. But that sword's as light as a feather to me with this armour on. The enhanced abilities are nice as well, and then there's not needing to sleep or eat. When God made you, he made you well."

"As I recall I'm a the result of a Necromancer's trick."

"And you trusted a man that hates you that much to tell you the truth? Did it ever occur to you that he lied?"

"You really think so?"

"Yes, Skulduggery, I do. You came back because you wanted to. If what he claims to have done was true, wouldn't Lord Vile have figured it out a long time ago?"

"Yes, he would have. Thought the way you mention him so often I starting to think you're sweet on him."

"Well we have so much in common. We both wear armour, we have bouts of homicidal rage, we want the killer's head on a stick. I think if I can manage that Vile will go steady with me." I teased.

Skulduggery shot me an annoyed look. "That isn't funny, and I don't recall him being all that interested in dating." He turned on the radio and after another annoyed look commenced to ignore me. I settled back in my seat enjoying the silence. It was heavenly.

* * *

We arrived near the hospital and there were already Sanctuary detectives prowling around. "Well, well. Good news travels fast." Skulduggery murmured, getting out.

Ghastly was also there, which surprised me. He walked over and by the look on his face I knew both operatives were missing or dead. "How are the boots?" He asked.

"Perfect, you've outdone yourself, Ghastly."

He smiled. "I'm glad to hear it. We are searching the area now, but we assume they're dead. He's broken his pattern and that worries me."

Skulduggery tilted him head. "He's loosing it. Like the barman, these two got in his way. So now we know he has an informant in the Sanctuary, or he's the obsessive type and staked out the hospital."

Ghastly looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I still wasn't used to being asked for input by him.

"I think Skulduggery's right. We can't even assume he knows what reality is anymore. But maybe that's a good thing. He'll get careless again, like the barkeep and the operatives. Have they searched the hospital yet?"

"No, why?" Ghastly asked.

"Because if I wanted to hide a body the morgue comes to mind." I said.

Skulduggery made a delighted sound. "I taught her to think like that you know. Well done, Valkyrie, well done." I felt myself flush.

Ghastly nodded to us, walked away and grabbed a detective. The man ran off. Ghastly came back. "Normally I'd let you take the lead with your own idea, Valkyrie, but looking like that you'll scare people. No offense meant, Skulduggery."

Skulduggery shrugged. "We like scaring people, but you're right. If they are there we can wait until the area is safe for us to investigate."

Ghastly's mobile rang. He answered, his face draining of colour. "They're in there, what's left of them. Look, you two won't be able to get in there, not with civilians having spotted the bodies. This place is a mess. We need people in here now to do clean up. So please do me a favor and go home."

"Of course." Skulduggery agreed. We turned and walked back to the Bentley, he came over to open my door, bending close to my ear. "Armour off, for now. We'll go pass the time somewhere and circle back later. I know Ghastly. He'll get overwhelmed with all the details and retreat to his van or the Sanctuary." I nodded and reached up to touch my jaws. The armour slid away and Skulduggery took it to the boot. We got in, my stomach flipping over. I'd never gotten to do anything like this with Skulduggery before, even though he had mentioned doing it on occasion.

We found a coffee shop that was open, Skulduggery sending me to a back booth, then walking over with a large coffee. "You'll need this. We'll give him four or five hours and circle back. If not, then we'll give him several hours more. Your first taste of defying the Elders over the need to get to a crime scene. Good job holding your tongue, by the way."

"As soon as you agreed I knew what you meant. Do you think Ghastly knew? He is your friend."

"Yes, but his problem is he always expects me to do the right thing and listen. The trick of it is I do listen sometimes, so he never knows what to expect."

"So you take advantage of his trusting nature? Good for you. Moments like these make me so proud of you." I was proud of him too and he knew it. His chest puffed slightly. I sipped my coffee, watching him struggle with the need to tell me just how wonderful he was. He lost, of course.

"I can teach you all sorts of useful things, now that you'll be in the field with me at all times. Breaking and entering, searching without a warrant, the fine use of intimidation to get results. How to steal things you need to make a case from a suspect's home. All sort of lovely things. You'll never be as good as me of course, but it gives you something to aspire to."

"You're excited to be this close to the killer, aren't you? You can almost sense him. Like he's in the area watching."

"Oh, I'm sure he is, Valkyrie. Which is why my darling combat accessory is going to sneak into the crime scene alone and I'm going to stand outside under a streetlight for all the world to see. You'll double back and help me nab him."

He tilted his head, proud of his own plan. I could feel his gaze on me, waiting for approval. "That's an excellent idea, Skulduggery. I hope he does try something. I'd love any excuse whatsoever to shoot him. Well, arrest him, but I can wing him, right?"

"That you may. I'm so glad we have heart to hearts like this. Your enthusiasm for catching him give me hope for the future." I smiled. We spent several hours there, Skulduggery's gaze over my shoulder watching the window. He looked at me suddenly. "Oh dear." I turned and watched as Ghastly walked in. He went and placed an order. "Remain very still, Valkyrie. Maybe he didn't see us."

Ghastly walked over, a hot tea in his hands. "Planning to wait for me to leave, were you?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Us, Elder Bespoke? Never." Skulduggery said innocently.

Ghastly snorted and motioned for me to move over then sat beside me. "How are you holding up, all things considered?" He asked.

"Quite well, actually. Though if you'd let us have a crack at the crime scene, I'd feel much better."

He snorted. "I'm also assuming you to want to catch the killer and had some fool plan to lure him in?"

"It was a very good plan." Skulduggery protested. "Tell him, Valkyrie."

"We were going to use Skulduggery as bait. You see the brilliance in that, right?"

Ghastly looked back and forth between us then shook his head. "It doesn't work any better if two fools run out into no man's land at the same time. We'll use Skulduggery as bait, but in a place where I can have people set up. You two are not to engage him alone, understood?" He asked in a firm voice.

We both nodded, chastened. Ghastly walked us back to the Bentley. "You two go home now. I mean it."

We got in and Skulduggery put the car in drive. "Seat belt." He said, absently. "Sorry, Valkyrie, but there's no sense pushing our luck when he's like this. He'll stay all night now. Even if we did manage to sneak in he'd only take us off the case. Now I teach you about the fine art of biding you time."

"I know. Besides he's our friend and we do have to be nice to him, sometimes at least."

"Good point."

"Besides, we have a secret weapon."

"Hmm?"

"He'll need to talk things over with Tanith, he always does."

"There's no end to your talents, is there?" He sounded amused.

"Telephone telegraph, tell a woman. Or tell a Tanith, in this case. I won't even have to ask."

"Are you implying women can't be trusted to keep secrets?"

"No I'm implying women had the information superhighway eons before men and their silly computers. We come by espionage and the trading of information naturally. It amuses us to no end that you men have to train for it."

"Hmm."

"I'm serious. Men tend to ignore women or figure talking to us is like talking to a pet. Not that I'm accusing Ghastly of treating Tanith like that, he wouldn't. But we pass on what we know other women need to know."

"There's a difference between gossip and information, you know."

"Which is why Tanith and I will have a lovely gossip."

Skulduggery shook his head. "Yet again, I'm glad you're on my side."


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Gordon, Tanith, China or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, still her POV.

* * *

The next morning Skulduggery announced that he needed to go meet Ghastly, but unfortunately on his own. He offered to drop me off at Gordon's and I agreed even if it hurt. Skulduggery tried for an explanation to cheer me up. "I'm sorry Valkyrie, but there are things about the investigation you don't need to know about. Perhaps when you're older..." He'd trailed off lamely. I'd nodded, keeping my face impassive, though he might as well have punched me in the gut.

There it was again. But civilian standards I was an adult, but by his and all sorcerers' reckonings I was still a child, fit maybe to date a man in his fifties. Since he too, would also be a child. The logic always escaped me because it assumed a long life on my part, but I didn't argue. I got out, gave him a wave and entered the mansion. Uncle Gordon had always warned me about listening to bad music when I felt sad, but I figured I had a right to indulge. Strangely I wasn't even sad about my family, it was the impossible gap between me and everyone I still knew.

I knew there was something going on in the investigation they were shielding me from. Maybe it could involve jail time, most likely it did. But it involved leaving me out. Skulduggery would eventually come up with a fancy lie about me being an ace in the hole, but I knew better. I shook myself mentally. I didn't like feeling like this, I hated being sad. Normally I was fine being his partner and only that. But then he'd mention my age and I'd think of him with China and my heart would lurch. The worst thing was I knew he'd see it as a childish love at best, they all would. But to me it was real enough and I realized the worst feeling in the world was to be in love with someone who couldn't love you back.

I almost wondered if Lord Vile would have had any wisdom for me, if I should have kept and wore my armour, but I knew thinking like that was too dangerous. Memories were one thing. Besides I knew he'd have gone on a rampage of carnage until he felt better. I didn't want that, but I didn't want sad either.

I tried putting any thoughts of love out of my head. Tried forcing myself to stare at the idea of being in love with Skulduggery Pleasant of all people until I could see it as the joke it was. I knew I'd recover, people did. But right then I wanted nothing more to do with him. Depressing music sounded really nice right about then.

I'd have rung Tanith instead, but Ghastly had shown a manly wisdom and sent her off somewhere on a task he needed done and avoided telling her anything. Sometimes I hated that man. So I stood in Gordon's study, just staring at the stereo, trying to figure out a music black enough to soothe me. A male voice cleared itself and I jumped. I turned to see Uncle Gordon floating behind me. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." I lied.

He raised an eyebrow at that. "Really. So you normally come in here and look at the stereo with a woebegone expression?"

"Oh, that. I'm temporarily off the case that's all. Blatant agism it is too. Days like this? I want to walk away from it all."

"So your feelings got hurt?"

"I suppose."

"You were going to play bad music in my study, weren't you?"

"Yes." I admitted, finding the floor really interesting.

"You're too much like me. Trust me, it bothered me too, but not in the same way it's bothering you, I think."

"What?" I looked up blankly.

"You've been different lately. The older you get, the more you hope the gap closes and it never does, does it?"

"No. I am seriously considering going away, you know."

"I know. But they are your friends aren't they?"

"Yes, of course."

"Would you abandon them if the situation was reversed?"

"No, of course not."

"Wouldn't you have a natural desire to keep them out of harm's way, given their youth if things were different?"

I sighed. "Yes, but I feel that way _now.I, Uncle Gordon. I want to protect them in the worst way and they won't let me. Will you go away now please and let me listen to some depressing music?"_

"No, because once you have an idea, you'll run with it. I can see it in your eyes. You'd like to cut and run. You can, but that isn't what a good friend does, no matter how painful staying might be." I nodded glumly and he drifted over to put a hand almost on my shoulder. "I am on your side, you know. You asked me once if I was ever in love and the answer was yes. I stood by her though as a friend and it never got any easier. Not that I think you're in love."

"I'm not in love." We both smiled at the lyrics.

"God! I forbid you to play that song in this study. How about something happier?"

"I got nothing."

"That's a song?"

"No, I got nothing. So, how goes the writing?"

"How goes yours? Skulduggery tells me you're writing. You and I both know I knew, but I feigned polite surprise."

"Not too well. This is the first time I've really been home in two weeks. Remind me to be more selective in what I tell him."

"He's proud of you, you're practically all he talks about."

"Um, that's nice. A little creepy, but nice."

"Why creepy?"

"I've been getting the rather frightening sense from him that he's going all fatherly on me. I mean if that's what makes him happy as his friend I'll accept it, but, it just makes my skin crawl."

"You wouldn't accept him as a father? You could do far worse."

"Of course I would. I'm just, I don't know what I am."

"Confused?"

"Very."

"You'll note I didn't say he thinks of you as a daughter."

"Um, OK-"

"I'll never understand women. I expected squeals of girlish joy over that." I blushed. "Sorry, but the way you feel is obvious. When I mentioned the word 'father' you looked like a train had just hit your car."

"Do me a favor and don't share that information with anybody, OK?"

"I don't intend to. Has he been acting strange lately?"

"Extremely, but in a good way. I think it's the case, to be honest."

"Hmm. He never does anything without a good reason no matter how strange it seems. Just act as you have been acting and ignore any oddness. He'll tell you what he's on about when he's ready. Honestly the last time he was here he was as nervous as a cat."

"Skulduggery? Nervous?"

"Yes, I get it he's not letting you out of his sight much?"

"No, he isn't."

"Hmm, well if he chats with me again perhaps the mystery will clear itself."

"You'd rat on a friend?"

"You're my favorite niece, that trumps friendship any day. Just be careful with him. He needs you by him right now ever if he is acting odd." Gordon smiled faintly.

"I know. Some days I feel like he's the son I never had."

We both laughed. My mobile rang. Ghastly. "Yes, Elder Bespoke?" I said sweetly.

"Don't call me that, it's creepy."

"Of course, your exalted eminence."

"Stop that. I need a favor. The van broke down and I have no idea where we are. I've called a wrecker, but we could use a lift, and the wrecker won't be here for hours. A crash or something somewhere."

"Christine and I will find you. We're opening a ladies' detective agency."

"Cute. We can expect you then?"

"Yes, I'll find you." I rang off and gave Uncle Gordon a wink. It was time to put some of my tech to good use.

* * *

I pulled up to the broken down van less than twenty minutes later. It was a hot day, so I had the top down. I knew Christine looked good, even if Skulduggery showed evident distaste. I got out a bottle of unsweetened tea and handed it to Ghastly. He sat in front with me, looking weary to the bone. He nodded his thanks and took a long draught of tea. Skulduggery sat in back, his hat tilted down low over his face, arms crossed. Clearly his was mad about something.

"Hungry?" I asked Ghastly.

"Very, and tired. And the bad guy, if he was nearby, is long gone by now."

I resisted the urge to throw his own advice about two fools in his face. "Right then. Where to?"

"The Sanctuary. Though if you would stop somewhere for take away in pity it would be remembered by the Elders."

I laughed. "I knew bribery would work. Any place specific?"

"No, you pick."

I started the car, and swung around easily to go back the way we came. There were plenty of places on the way to the Sanctuary. "Neither one of you is going to ask how I found you so fast?"

"You called the Sanctuary." Skulduggery mumbled from under his hat.

"Hardly, and why would they tell me where you were?"

"They would in an emergency." He sounded irritable. "Will you please put the top up? You're going to make me loose my hat."

I pushed a button and to seamlessly rose up, protecting us from the wind. I looked at him in the rear view mirror. "I never thought of that." I admitted. He snorted, readjusted his hat and settled back to ignore me again.

Ghastly turned to me. "I know Tanith didn't know, so how did you find us?"

"It wasn't logic." Skulduggery put in from the back seat.

"Look in the glove compartment." I told Ghastly, trying my best to ignore Skulduggery. Ghastly opened it, found the small mobile. He turned it on and a map faithfully showed us leaving his van farther and farther behind.

"You put a tracking device in my van?" He asked doubtfully.

"Yes, thought it might come in handy one day. As you can see, it did."

"But you put a tracking device in my van. Where was it?"

"Wheel well." Skullduggery put in.

"Not quite."

"Boot under the lining then."

"No."

"Steering column?"

"Now you're just guessing. Vanity mirror."

Ghastly smiled at me. "You knew a man wouldn't look there."

"Oh, I knew Skulduggery would if it was his car, he keeps her too clean. But I also know he normally sits in the back when other people drive, so I figured the device would be safe. I do worry about you when you go out, all of you."

"Thanks the nicest reason for breaking the law I ever heard." Ghastly said, a wry smile on his face.

"What law did I break? I'm an electronics buff trying a very legal gadget out. Besides that this is the first time I've tried it out. It won't be on much longer the battery in the transmitter has to die sometime. There's a bigger one under Christine's hood. Nobody is taking my baby from me. Are they princess?" Her engine purred in response.

Ghastly snorted and Skulduggery waved an annoyed hand. I turned on the radio, 'Can't Turn You Loose' came on. I grinned, feeling my shoulders start to move to the music. We were making good time, speeding, really, when I saw a small diner on the opposite side of the highway in passing. I checked to make sure that there was no one behind me and no one coming. Eerily, the road was empty. I shrugged, spinning the wheel hard, bringing Christine's back end around. Her tyres screamed on the tarmac and there was a momentary feeling of weightlessness and she completed the 180 spin turn, still moving forward. I then drove across the highway, blissfully ignoring the look on Ghastly's face and pulled in.

There were a few other cars in the lot, and it looked cool and dark inside. I got out, noticed neither Ghastly nor Skulduggery was moving. "You coming?" I asked.

"You do know you are supposed to wait and find a place to turn legally." Ghastly's voice was tight and he seemed to be having trouble letting go of the dashboard.

"There isn't a spot to turn for miles out here." I pointed out. He nodded and got out, Skulduggery following him, but not before shooting me a glare. We went in and Ghastly placed a take away order. I wasn't hungry, so I just waited. The waitress came over, poured me a coffee.

"On the house, hon. That was some fancy driving." He accent sounded Texan.

"Thanks. I love seeing what she can do. My passengers never do though."

"That's a shame, she's a real beaut. 50 Chevy right?"

"Yes."

"You still got the steering on the original side, I see."

"She's easier to drive that way, to be honest."

"I bet she can go. Well, you enjoy your coffee hon. Order will be up soon." She looked at the Chevy again, then went off to wait tables. I attended my coffee ignoring the amused look Ghastly shot me.

"Your passengers would like it just fine if you warned them about sudden turns. Still, she's right, it is a lovely car."

"Hardly." Skulduggery put in. "She's a common car, a mere thing rolled off an assembly line in Detroit, no class." What did he have to be so bitter about? Ghastly's order came before I could retort. We drove the rest of the way in silence and I dropped them both at the Sanctuary before driving off. Skulduggery had muttered something darkly about needing to go over the case with the adults and hoping children wouldn't show up to be babysat so I took the hint. I drove home to Gordon's wondering if that's how he saw me. As common. Most likely he did. I knew the child comment he meant.

Skulduggery came from a world of family crests, I came from, well, I came from the Ancient Ones, but my personality was pure commoner and I knew it. I liked cruising the streets, radio blasting for no reason other than cruising. There were times like this when I wondered how we ever got along or if he even remotely liked me. I'd been told he'd just keep me around so long as I amused him, and apparently his amusement was running thin.

* * *

Afternoon stretched into evening and no call came. Well, I had known I'd end up back home some time, hadn't I? I made sure Christine was so clean she gleamed, then strolled about the mansion. It had rooms I hadn't even been in yet. I wondered if there was punishment coming for the trace on Ghastly's van and decided if it did come to play the child role they handed me to the hilt. I might even be off the case for all I knew. I could tell from the continued silence I was not on anyone's good list.

I did make it to Gordon's old bedroom at last and fell into an exhausted sleep. Roaring thunder awoke me hours later. It seems to shake the entire mansion. I looked out the large windows and watched forks of lightning race across the sky. The clock read 4 AM. I checked, no messages. I settled back in, trying to let my mind drift and sleep claim me once more. I was almost there when my mobile rang. Ghastly.

"Yes?" I asked groggily.

"Should that tracer still be working?"

"I honestly don't know. I installed it a while ago, but I think so."

"Can you bring the mobile to my shop? Someone's stolen my van from the garage."

"What? How? She wasn't running."

"She was before they stole her."

"OK, I'll be there as soon as I get dressed and on the road."

"Skulduggery is picking you up. I don't want you driving in this weather."

"All right, I'll meet him when he gets here." I rang off and went down to wait for Skulduggery after a quick shower and dressing. I grabbed the mobile I used for tracing out of Christine, checking it was still fully charged, and pocketed the charger just in case.

The jacket Ghastly had made me years ago still fit and had deep pockets to store things in. I didn't want to wait outside obviously, but I knew the temper Skulduggery was in he's likely refuse to come to the door. My mobile rang. Skulduggery. "Be outside in five minutes." He said coldly, then rang off. I met him, using the air to keep the rain off me. If it impressed him, he didn't say so.

"Seat belt." He ground out, through gritted teeth.

"Are you all right?"

"Am I all right? First Ghastly's van broke down on the way to what seemed to be a solid lead to the killer's location. Said lead, it later turned out, was a poacher who was spotted dressed in tan hunting tweeds of all things. Then, and I love this part, my lunatic partner threw out my back with her deplorable driving skills. I then had to endure an entire day of boring meetings at the Sanctuary where officials presumed to tell me what to do, and didn't see my partner even once. She didn't so much as call and offer to take me home. I had to ride in a taxi, Valkyrie, a nasty taxi. I spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch wondering why my partner hadn't called and why she would abandon me with the officials, and still no call came. So I can presume she didn't miss me. So no, I'm not all right." He snapped.

I ducked my head to hide my smile. "To tell you the truth I was waiting for you to call, that child remark was rude by the way, it hurt."

"I was talking about the officials." He sounded exasperated. "You thought I meant you, didn't you?"

"I am the youngest person at the Sanctuary that I'm aware of."

"You're hardly a child. Those small-minded and overly restrictive men however, need a nursemaid."

I grinned at him. "Tell me how you really feel."

He gave a brief chuckle. "Sorry, I suppose I should have thought to call. Sorry."

"Mobile works both ways, Skulduggery, but you were mad when you got in my car so I left it. I did think about calling you though, and I wondered why you didn't call me. I'm sorry I hurt your back. You could have gotten a Sanctuary doctor to look at you."

"Mmm, I'll be all right after a nice meditation. I shouldn't have snarled, I apologize. Friends?"

"Always. Did you SEE the look on Ghastly's face? I wanted to do a 360 spin turn, then a 180 but didn't quite get there. But still, his face, Skulduggery. It was priceless."

"I had a lot of fun with him about that for several hours while the officials kept us waiting."

"Oh, that's perfect. We have a detective quit and terrorize and Elder on the same day. We'll be getting fired soon."

"No I don't think so. Would you do me a favor? there's just one place on my spine I can't get into place, reach back, no lower, there you go, now push a little up and in. Ow, a little harder." I pushed harder. There was a distinct sound of the bone locking back into place and Skulduggery hissed in pain, his hands locking up on the steering wheel.

But then he stretched and sighed in relief. "Much better. Remind me to just call next time. As matter of fact, that's a new rule. One of us has to call every two hours, no matter how angry we are. I missed you, you know."

"I know, I missed you too."

"Well, of course you would. Everyone misses me when I'm not around. I'm that charming. I'm sure the waitress is longing for my return with bated breath."

"Well, as long as you invite me to the wedding, that's the main thing."

Skulduggery made an amused sound, and soon enough we were in front of Ghastly's. "Into the lion's den with you."

"You aren't coming in?"

"My instructions were to wait here until further notice."

"Since when do you listen?"

"Since now."

"Fine friend you are. Why don't you take it in?"

"Sorry, not my mobile."

I looked at Skulduggery but he stared straight ahead out the windscreen. Grumbling to myself I got out and knocked at the familiar door. It opened and Ghastly ushered me in. I handed him the mobile, and he found the location of the van. He made a quick call then turned back to me, his face drawn. "She'll be picked up soon, apparently that area's abandoned. Young men often drive stolen cars out there to burn them."

"Oh Ghastly, I'm sorry. Maybe she's OK. The tracer's still working."

He nodded stiffly. "Yes, I suppose there's that. I know it didn't make much sense to drag you out here in a storm but-"

"She's your girl, like Christine's my angel. You're taking it much better than I would if she went missing. Why not keep the mobile and charger until you get her back?"

"Why not invite Skulduggery in and I'll make tea if you're up to waiting with me. I hoped you would understand. Women don't, usually, but you've fussed over that Chevy since the day she arrived. The detailing, the custom paint job, the restoration. I figured you'd understand."

"It's like they were just born the day you get them. I'll go get Skulduggery."

Skulduggery seemed relieved to find me in one piece, and he was very sympathetic towards Ghastly. "I'm sure she's all right if the tracer is still working." He soothed.

Ghastly drank his tea and didn't reply. At last his mobile rang and as he listened all the tension left his face. He hung up and smiled at us. "They found her in one piece. Apparently she was stolen for a joy ride and the punks who did it are in custody."

"Would you like a ride to the station?"

"The police are picking me up actually, so I suppose you two should leave. I appreciate the help." I nodded and we left, pulling away shortly before the police arrived.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Gordon, Ghastly, or Valkyrie

* * *

Skulduggery looked weary as he drove. I swear I saw him blinking his eyes, which, admittedly, he did not have, several times. He shook his skull and rolled down the window. "Skulduggery pull over before you crash."

"No, no, I'm fine." The Bentley weaved slightly.

"Skulduggery pull over. You're going to get hurt." His skull dipped forward and I grabbed the wheel, steering the Bentley to the shoulder. _Now what?_ Luckily his foot had come off the gas, so I reached over and shifted into park. I could either sit here with a living skeleton in the car and hope the police didn't arrest me, or I could drive the Bentley. I groaned.

I knew we had to get home. I'd always had the fear he'd be arrested by civilians and taken away to a lab somewhere. Stupid perhaps, but I wasn't letting that happen. I got out and opened his door. Using the air I lifted him and carried him to the passenger side and buckled him in. I drove us home slowly, to Uncle Gordon's. I managed to bundle him inside, then up to Uncle Gordon's bedroom without a second thought. I got the hat and scarf off, laying them to one side. I'd never seen him just collapse before. I tucked him in, then went and grabbed Uncle Gordon's Echo Stone. He seemed shocked to see Skulduggery so deep in meditation.

"Uncle Gordon, he terrified me. He just slumped over while driving. We were fine at Ghastly's he seemed fine, but then he...what, passed out? I don't even know how often he should meditate, he never said." I realized my voice was shaking and didn't care at that point.

My uncle looked at Skulduggery then at me. "How long since he last meditated?"

"I don't know, but he's only been meditating around me, I think. So maybe a day? I don't know, my own hours are so confused."

"Only around you?"

I nodded. "I don't know why, but yes."

Skulduggery stirred briefly and groaned, then fell still again. My uncle shrugged helplessly. "I honestly don't know what is happening. He hates to meditate around anyone, but I think he does it as often as other people sleep. Or he should. We have to let him rest and recover. I'm not even going to ask you to leave him, but go find something to eat and drink, and a way to entertain yourself, I'll stay with him."

I reluctantly went down the stairs and found the rest of the Chinese. Had it only been a day or so ago I'd been eating it, watching over him? He'd meditated extremely hard then too. If fact the last several times he's meditated so hard I'd worried. I grabbed a Coke as well and padded back upstairs. I got a book from my uncle's study and arranged myself the best I could in the chair. Skulduggery groaned again, his skull thrashing back and forth.

Without thinking I reached out and touched his forehead. He instantly relaxed and sank into the bed. I looked at Uncle Gordon and he made a 'come away' motion toward his study. Reluctantly I picked up the Echo Stone and returned him there. "What?" I asked, nervous.

"I think you know what. He's only meditating around you, he refuses to leave your side, he's nervous and jumpy when he isn't with you. Now your touch calmed him."

"And?" I looked at him blankly.

"You call yourself a writer. What would those symptoms mean in a character?"

"Oh. But he said-"

"Men say a lot of things we don't mean, my dear, often to spare our pride. Keep watch, don't say anything when he awakens about this. I don't even know if you should accept an opening if he gives it, just do your best. He needs you right now. So go watch over him." Uncle Gordon did his level best to hug me. "Godspeed." He said.

I smiled and hurried back to Skulduggery. He'd shifted slightly, his neck bent at what looked to be a painful angle. I gently laid his skull back on the pillow, slightly loosened his tie. At my touch the pain etched on his skeletal features went away. I read and ate, got tired around noon, but kept my vigil. He'd move every so often and a touch to his brow or arm would calm him. He started to mutter at one point, clearly annoyed. "Shh, Skulduggery, I'm here." I said.

My voice could calm him too. That was interesting. I only got up when I needed to and was slightly worried when four rolled around and he still hadn't risen. But I went and grabbed dinner. I was beyond sleep at this point.

 _No,_ I told myself. _that's spoiled. You have a good seven hours last night, now your job is here with him._ Wow, I was scolding myself, that was new. But it made me smile. Night closed in and he seemed much more relaxed, as if he were sleeping lightly. I was almost nodding off myself when his skull turned towards me. "Valkyrie!" His voice was soft, still muzzy with sleep. He sounded happy though, and he looked happy to see me.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" I asked with a smile.

"Mmm, good I think. Did I meditate long?" He asked, stretching, then seemed to realize where he was. "How did I get into bed?"

"Uh, I put you there. You looked so tired I didn't have the heart to wake you."

He sat up, clearly fully rested. "Valkyrie, how did I get here?" Skulduggery asked.

"You- You passed out. I brought you here."

"I _what_?"

"What''s the last thing you remember?"

"We were at Ghastly's. I hadn't meditated in so long, I was so tired. I was driving us home and-" He stopped, buried his skull in his hands. "I fell asleep at the wheel, didn't I?"

"Yes, but we weren't going that fast, no harm done."

"You drove the Bentley home?"

"Slowly. She's outside in one piece. I was too nervous to drive any further, sorry."

"Then you kept vigil."

"Yes."

"I ask a lot of questions, don't I?" He asked with an amused chuckle.

"Detectives tend to do that."

He smiled. "You look tired."

"Mmm."

"When's the last time you slept?"

"Last night some time. I'll get some sleep soon." I stretched in the chair, and got up. Skulduggery got out of bed.

"Can I get you something? Coffee perhaps?" He offered.

"I can get it."

"You get in bed, young lady. Hungry?"

"A tad."

"I'll see what I can do." He left and several minutes passed. He returned with coffee and toast. Skulduggery shrugged slightly. "Sorry, I'm not much of a cook."

"Toast is lovely. You didn't have to make anything, you know."

"I wanted to. You drove me home, you watched over me. It's the least I can do."

"If you insist."

"I do. I think we both need a day or so off, but we can't afford it right now."

"Well we had all of today off, it was lovely."

"Yet you let me sleep through it."

I stifled the smart remark that came to mind. "That's what was nice about it. You look adorable when you're meditating. Like you must have when you were little." Skulduggery smiled, and I continued. "It was nice, all things considered, like camping out with you." He chuckled slightly. I'd finished the toast and put my coffee aside, settling back with a sigh into the pillows. "Is it just me, or has this case hit us like a freight train?" I asked.

"It has at that."

"I'm considering early retirement after this case, Skulduggery. Twelve years is a good long run for a Sanctuary detective." He laughed, hesitated, then came to sit on the edge of the bed opposite from me. "Oh, lie back." I encouraged.

"If you insist. This is nice. I think it's been, well, centuries since I've lain down in a bed. Very soft. I swear I could meditate again."

"Go ahead, we're on our unofficial day off."

"You sure? This isn't exactly proper."

"I hate proper. If you don't, I'll stay awake too, how's that?"

"Oh, Valkyrie, that isn't even logical."

"You sound sleepy."

"Mmm."

"Well, meditate then. Are you warm enough?"

"Before seemed warmer, but I'm fine."

"Get under the covers then before you freeze."

"Valkyrie, that's hardly proper."

"Again with the proper. You. Under covers. Now." He grumbled sleepily, but managed to get himself under them without getting up. "There you go. Warmer now?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Then meditate, I'll put out the light." I clicked off the light and settled deeper into my own pillows.

"Valkyrie?"

"Yes, Skulduggery?"

"This is nice."

"It is."

"Valkyrie?"

"Yes, Skulduggery?"

"I didn't want to admit to not knowing what it is, but what on Earth is 'Soft Kitty'?"

"A lullaby."

"I don't recall it."

"It's from TV, Skulduggery, the thing you won't watch."

"Oh, right." A pause, then: "Valkyrie?"

"Yes, Skulduggery?"

"Sing 'Soft Kitty' to me."

I suppressed a laugh. "I would, but I can't sing, Skulduggery."

"Please?" So, doing my very best not to laugh I sang him 'Soft Kitty'. I could tell he was meditating even before I finished.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to find Skulduggery up and reading Gordon's novel. "Ah, good morning, Valkyrie. Did you sleep well?"

"Extremely."

"It was nice of you to sing to me."

"My pleasure."

"You ought to do it more often, if I can't meditate at least."

"I'll think about it."

"Please?"

"OK. But only for when you can't meditate." I got up and got a shower and dressed in the bathroom. I was happy to see Skulduggery well rested, but I knew he'd sink back down, and so would I, if we didn't sleep in the same room. That sounded seven kinds of wrong, but I could be brave enough to suggest it through a closed door. "Skulduggery?"

"Yes, Valkyrie?"

"I have a theory."

"Which is?"

"I sleep better if we're in the same room."

"It would seem you do."

"Well, for the case's sake maybe we should try that, at least until the case is over."

"That would be the sensible thing to do."

"It would?"

"Yes, you need the rest, and clearly you feel the need to be protected by me. So I'll sacrifice my privacy until the case is over and the bad man is in jail."

I opened the door and looked at him. "That's very sweet of you."

"Mmm. Get some coffee and breakfast. Luckily Ghastly was busy all day yesterday with his van, but I assume we will have a chance at the crime scene today."

"You take me to the nicest places."

"Don't I just?"


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie's reflection, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, still her POV. Fun fact: the sunken sub really happened in the US Civil War.

* * *

Down in the kitchen Skulduggery listened to his mobile, frowning. He nodded several times, grunting, then hung up and turned to me, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "As of yet no new leads. We aren't needed for today, so we have the day off it would seem."

"Who were you talking to."

"Ghastly."

"You grunted at him. You must love working at the Sanctuary."

"What? He knows me."

I shook my head. "Training then?"

"Well, maybe-"

"Aren't you well?"

"I'm fine, I just don't feel like kicking my partner today. But I will if she insists."

"No, that's OK, I know what you mean. I don't feel like hitting you either. There's a whole mansion to explore if you want, I've never been in a lot of the rooms."

"Perhaps. Or we could go for a drive if you like."

"That does sound more interesting. Where to?"

"How about the diner where you threw my back out with your driving?"

"Miss the waitress already?" I teased.

Skulduggery picked up his hat that he'd set on the table and dusted invisible lint off it of before putting it on. "Yes, that's it exactly. I suppose she'll take pity on me and serve me coffee this time. She just won't admit to our love, shy girl that she is."

I smiled and got up. "Lead the way. When her biker boyfriend with no neck and tattoo sleeves shows up I'll be sure to tell him of your undying love for her. I'm sure he'll be thrilled."

"Now, now Valkyrie. Jealousy is unbecoming in a lady. I'll be sure to send you postcards from wherever our honeymoon takes us."

"Wow, a stakeout in a van, with Ghastly fuming in the driver's seat and Tanith not shutting up. Sounds like heaven."

Skulduggery made a clucking sound and guided me out to the Bentley. I got in, watching as he prowled around her, looking for damage. "Not a scratch." He said as he got in, sounding surprised. "Seat belt."

"I knew if I scratched her it would be my doom. That or you'd go after Christine with a spanner."

"I don't know where you get these ideas, Valkyrie. I am a peaceful man."

"Which is why you carry a gun."

"We live in dangerous times, Valkyrie."

"That we do, expecially where your Bentley is involved."

" _Our_ Bentley. She's our car. You managed to drive her home in one piece, so I know you care about her. Unlike poor Christine."

"Christine is a car that likes to go out and do exciting things. She sulks if I don't take her out for fun."

"She has a strange idea of fun."

"Oh, that was nothing. You should see it when we jump bridges as they're being raised."

"Tell me you're kidding."

"Of course I am. She's a 50 Chevy, she doesn't get air time."

"I don't even want to know how you found that out."

"Neither did the harbour master, but the water cleaned out of her seats really well."

"You drove off a dock?"

"Well, technically the brakes failed and I more or less shot off the dock, but yes, same thing."

"How didn't I know about this?"

"False ID."

"Clever girl. Bad partner, but clever girl. You're going to make some man very happy some day."

"Oh please." I scoffed.

Skulduggery glanced over. "You find marriage repellant?"

"Who's going to marry me, Skulduggery? I'm the crazy girl that does 180s on the highway and drives my car off of docks."

"Woman, and you'll find beautiful goes a long way to make up for crazy. Besides, some men like a little lunacy in their wives, it keeps things interesting." I groaned and sat back in the seat. We listened to the radio the rest of the way, Skulduggery humming to himself. We pulled in, seemingly with the same cars in the lot from the day before.

Inside the waitress grinned at me. "Well hello, there. Glad to see you brought your friend back with you. Coffee?" I nodded and we sat down in a window booth. She poured and continued. "Where's that pretty little gal of yours?"

"Home, resting. She had a big day yesterday."

"That's a shame, she sure is pretty, hope she feels better soon. She's right prettier than the car you came in today. Be back for your order, hon."

Skulduggery made a strangled sound. I ordered a burger when she returned and tried to restore the Bentley's honor. "That is a Bentley, you know. Only two hundred and eight of them were ever made." The waitress was not impressed.

"I guess they just didn't sell well. No telling what some people will drive. Order will be up soon, let me know if you need anything." She said cheerfully. Skulduggery made another strangled sound.

"Skulduggery, I love that car like she's my own daughter. But parents of exceptional children have to accept other people won't always see how truly exceptional they are. Besides." I continued cheerfully. "The waitress is the woman you're in love with. You aren't going to let a little thing like her taste in cars get in the way of true love, are you?"

"I hate you."

"That's my line."

Skulduggery huffed. My burger came and the waitress set the bill down, but not before eyeing the Bentley and shaking her head. "My granddaddy had an old car like that. Used it as a chicken coop."

I smiled and nodded as she left, then slapped my hand over my mouth when I saw the tension in Skulduggery's shoulders. "Not a word, Valkyrie, not a word." He said, before picking up the bill. After I ate he managed to stroll out of the diner with what was left of his dignity, greatly offended. "I hope you enjoyed that burger because we're never coming back here again."

"Oh, Skulduggery. I'm sure she loves you in her own special way."

He shot me an offended look. "Get in, or I'll leave you here."

"Skulduggery-"

He waved a hand and I got in. "Seat belt." He said stiffly.

"Skulduggery, anyone who can't tell custom-built doesn't know the first thing about cars."

"True."

"She probably can't even spell Bentley." I offered.

"She probably can't spell Chevy. Or cat." He said bitterly.

"You could spot her the C and the T."

"Once again I'm glad you're on my side."

"I'm always on your side, even when we're arguing. It's like the North and South in the American Civil War, she'd appreciate the analogy."

"The what now?" He asked, pulling out.

"The Japanese sent a sub prototype over to attack the South. The North sank it."

"You're kidding me."

"Nope, we learned it in world history. Or my reflection learned it. She was nice until she went crazy and you killed her."

"Well, she was going to kill you first, and I'd always liked you better than her. A tad."

"Charming, that."

"I'm always charming."

"You're always annoying."

"But apparently I'm the South to your North. My, that doesn't sound right coming from an Irishman. Forget the analogy."

"Analogy well taken. I assumed we were still on American soil."

"How come we never meet any nice Americans?" Skulduggery grumbled.

"Because the nice ones don't go abroad. They stay home and mind their own business like everyone else."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"We're detectives, we don't mind our own business, but most people find it very relaxing."

"Most people are crazy." He muttered. We bantered back and forth on the drive back to his house, Skulduggery having made the decision for what he called practical reasons. No mention of my going home to Gordon's was made a fact we were both silently thankful for. Even we could be thankful, even if we never said it.

* * *

 **I know, for Valduggery it has been a light romance, but it is there if you look for it. He will kiss her again, give the man time. Skulduggery can't be backed into his traces, you know.**


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery Tanith, Ghastly, Cleavers, Gibbs, or Valkyrie. That would be slavery and I'm an abolitionist through and through. Val is still 24 and the story is still in her POV.

* * *

Skulduggery sat in the Bentley and cut off the engine. He seemed a bit nervous about something, as if he had a question he wanted to ask and was afraid of the answer. He cleared his throat nervously, staring hard at the steering wheel. "Valkyrie?"

"Yes, Skulduggery?"

"Do you like me? As a friend I mean?"

"Of course I like you as a friend. Why wouldn't I?"

"Just asking. I am your best friend, right?" He turned his head to look at me.

"Of course you are. What's this about?" I asked gently.

"I just, well, I've had a lot of friends, but never a best one, I think."

"Well, you'll find one, some day." I assured him.

"You're my best friend, haven't I ever told you that?"

"You may have."

"Right then. Let's get inside before I ask any more foolish questions."

"It was a good question. I appreciate you caring enough to ask."

"Valkyrie Cain showing appreciation. As I live and breathe."

"Let's go inside, you're starting to annoy me." He made an amused sound and we walked inside. Neither of us ever did too well with free time, so it was going to be an interesting afternoon. Skulduggery put on coffee and I went into the living room, flipping on the TV. Skulduggery joined me, handing me the mug. He'd removed his hat and gloves again, and this time just looped one arm around my shoulder. I pretended not to notice, but caught his sideways glance when I didn't relax into him.

So I settled in closer to him, hearing a slight sigh of relief on his part. I wanted in the worst way to crack a joke about moving too fast, but bit my tongue. "You know, I've been staring at this thing for twenty minutes and have no idea what's on, Skulduggery." I nodded towards the TV.

"Precisely why I never watch."

"Well some shows are good. 'American Ninja Warrior' is hilarious."

"Yes, it sounds like it." He said dryly. He adjusted himself, looping his arm more securely around my shoulders and bringing his rib cage to brush up against mine. I managed to not spill my coffee by some miracle.

"You'd love it. Stupid people getting hurt on an obstacle course."

"Sounds delightful." His fingers brushed my arm, very casually as if by accident. But Skulduggery never did anything my accident.

"Well there are the good ones, and it is pretty awesome to see them make it through."

"Mmm." This time the hand caressed my arm. I shifted slightly to lean more into him. He obliged me by bringing his other arm around me as well, the hand coming up briefly to caress my cheek before settling chastely on his other arm. I tilted my head upwards slightly, bumping his jaw gently with the top of my head. Skulduggery ran his jaw along the top on my head, then I felt him kiss me gently, his teeth lingering for just a moment. He mobile rang, and we both jumped. I sat up and away so he could answer.

He rang off shaking his head. "The crime scene has been cleared. We'll be able to go look for ourselves now. Well armour on, duty calls." He got up, collecting his hat and gloves. I knew he was ready to pretend nothing happened and considered Uncle Gordon's advice. Reading his posture I knew he didn't want me to say a word.

"You should wear your trench coat, Skulduggery. Nothing scary about the two of us dressed the same."

"Shouldn't I just? But it's a tad warm out, as amusing as that idea is."

He grabbed his scarf and we were off, me donning the armour before getting in.

"Seatbelt."

"Don't I always?"

"The day I don't tell you, you'll forget and end up through the windscreen."

"I'm dead. I don't think it will do much harm."

"You could be deader if you keep thinking like that."

"Yes, boss, and deader isn't a word."

"It isn't?" He asked, pulling onto the road smoothly.

"No. Trust me, I'm a writer we know these things."

"Speaking of which, how goes it?"

"Not well."

"Writer's block?"

"There's this pesky killer, see?"

"Ah, that will do it. I might start writing some day."

"You should. You love to talk. It's the same exact thing, only on paper. You can go on forever if you like."

"That does sound like fun, but I never have any good ideas."

"Then use your bad ones and make them good."

"Mmm. Do you think Ghastly is serious about Tanith?"

"Of course, and she's serious about him too."

"How can you tell?"

"Because she told me, not in so many words, but a girl can tell."

"Woman, and I suppose you can. Think he knows?"

"I doubt it, men never do."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, Skulduggery. I came from a large family, remember? Plenty of weddings, and the man always had this look of wonder on his face like he couldn't believe the bride showed up."

"Charming, that. How did the brides look?"

"Smug, and they knew the men were lucky too."

"Now that's just mean."

"Says a man."

He made a miffed sound. "I can't see how any of the women in your family ever got married with an attitude like that."

"Neither can we. Just lucky I guess. Though I should be speaking in past tense, shouldn't I?"

"Nonsense. They will always be your family. Just not one you can see, that's all. Remember you have a lovely magical family that adores you."

"Lucky me."

"That hurt."

"Sorry. I've never been big on having a family, to be honest."

"You've never been big on being all that close to people."

"I'm close to you, and Tanith."

"Poor Ghastly gets left out in the cold, does he?"

"He's not a man you can be close to. He's Gibbs without all the warmth and charm."

"He's who?"

"Never mind."

"No, if your calling him a rude name, I want to know about it."

"Gibbs is a compliment, trust me."

"We'll just see about that." Skulduggery muttered darkly as we pulled up beside the hospital and got out.

Ghastly was waiting for us, a grin on his face over Skulduggery's clear agitation. "What's wrong now?" He asked, clearly amused.

"I told him you were Gibbs without all the warmth and charm." I said before Skulduggery could tattle.

Ghastly laughed, shaking his head. "What warmth and charm?"

"Exactly." I grinned.

I could feel Skulduggery's frown even with the disguise. "So... You're not insulted?"

"To be compared to Leroy Jethro Gibbs? Not at all. I admire the man. I should start giving out Gibbs slaps, it would boost morale."

"Pardon?" Skulduggery asked, lost.

"You need to start watching TV Skulduggery." Ghastly said with a sigh. "It's a show, 'NCIS'. Well, let's get to it then." We followed Ghastly inside, coming into the morgue which had been emptied of staff for our visit. Ghastly cursed. If there had been a crime scene it was gone now.

"Can we get trace?" I asked hopefully.

"I doubt it. Can you see anything, Skulduggery?"

"I'm leaving this to Valkyrie." He said, then turned to me. "You know what to do."

I nodded letting my dead senses shift. Before me lay a horrific ghostly show of footprints and blood splatters. I could taste the blood in my mouth, it was revolting. "He made the kill here, from the blood patterns. That there is blood shows there's something wrong. No, not their blood- Good God, Skulduggery. He grabbed a technician who shouldn't have been here."

"I know. At least we know now what he's been eating. What else?"

"He's loosing power fast. He wants to retreat. He's going to, I don't know where, a cave, I think. It's where he's been living."

"Caves, where?" Ghastly asked.

"Sorry, I can't tell. But it looks like a park of some sort. It's close by, most people aren't even aware of the caves. He slips in and out easily at night. That's all I see, sorry."

"So we're looking for a park with a cave system people just happen to not notice?" Ghastly asked doubtfully.

I shrugged. "I think he's been shielding it for a long time. I get the sense he can go dormant for long periods at a time. He wants to go dormant again, he'll hole himself up with his victim, then sleep. He knows the magic he was trying won't work, he's abandoned his plans."

Skulduggery nodded. "But let's not assume he will, Valkyrie. So far he's proved extremely unstable. We need to find those caves and arrest him, but it will take planning. We'll need maps of the system, exits, that sort of thing."

"Not just the two of you." Ghastly said firmly. "I'll gather the team together at the Sanctuary, find you additional help. As far as we know this is a trap, and he wants us to walk right into it."

"Agreed." Skulduggery said with a nod. "Do you want us to head to the Sanctuary then?"

"No, not yet. I have to deal with the officials first before anything gets done. I don't even know if they will give me the extra manpower."

"Very well, come on then, Valkyrie I get to teach you the fine are of 'hurry up and wait'. We adored it during the war."

Ghastly groaned. "Don't remind me, this is worse than war. At least we got to shoot people back then."

"Cheer up, Ghastly, we may get there yet." Skulduggery said brightly. Ghastly just sighed again and we left him there to his thoughts.

* * *

Evening settled in as we headed back towards Skulduggery's house. He'd stopped at a fish and chips place, making sure to buy his usual amount of food for me. Which meant several day's worth. The smell was heavenly, and I didn't mind him placing the bags at my feet. My armour was back off and the warmth of the bags was heavenly. "I'll get you coffee at home. Those flimsy cups of soda look like a disaster waiting to happen." Skulduggery said and I sensed his smile.

"They often are." I agreed. I'd noticed he said home, and felt happy, but didn't mention it. We got there and he went to make coffee, setting the bags in front of me on the table. "You should become a barista." I teased.

"And wear one of those silly aprons? No, thank you. Besides the very idea of waiting on people and taking their money is repellent. You at least, have the good courtesy not to thank me."

"I've never understood why you don't like that."

"Because it's emotional mush, that's why. People get far too excited and thank people for doing their jobs, it's disgusting."

"Ghastly never thanks us."

"He knows better."

"Ah, that explains it. I haven't had fish and chips in ages. What did you get me?"

"Cod, I think. Most likely mislabeled mystery fish."

"I love mystery fish, it tastes like chicken."

"Seriously?"

"Yes that's the wonderful thing with fast food, it all tastes alike."

"Statements like that make me glad I no longer need to eat." Skulduggery said dryly.

"I'm a twenty-first century kind of girl. We adapt and survive."

He shook his head. "You never cease to amaze me. Most people would whine and complain, but you laugh about it and rise above."

"I'm an old mall rat, we laugh at everything. We also eat food out of the bin on occasion."

"That's disgusting."

"I'm kidding."

"Thankfully. You never know what some sort of crazy person did to that food. Ah, here's the coffee. Eat your chicken-fish or whatever it is."

"This tastes like fish, and it is cod. See the nice white flesh?"

He nodded. "That mobile gave me a fright before."

"Me too."

"Of course that goes with being a detective, you're never really off duty."

"Too true. But I'm sure Ghastly plots to call when he knows we least expect it."

"I'm sure he does." I tried to sense if he wanted a comment about what had happened when his mobile rang. He cursed and got it out, stepping away from the table and into the hall. He came back in and sat down.

"They need us now?" I asked.

"Oh no, nothing like that. Ghastly's debating asking Tanith out to the movies, that's all."

"Oh. Want me to call her and have her suggest she asks to go?"

"Would you?" I nodded and called Tanith. I wouldn't tell her exactly why she should suggest the movies to Ghastly, but she agreed to suggest it. "Our good deed for the day done." I said, returning to my dinner.

"Indeed. That was kindly of you, by the way. Ghastly just needs a nudge in the right direction at times. But you're sure she is serious about him? I don't want him hurt."

"Skulduggery, she's waiting on him to say something."

"What? Why?"

"Because she's a girl and she wants him to approach her. It isn't fun the other way around, you know."

"I don't understand women, why not just tell him?"

"Like he's telling her?"

"But he doesn't know she's serious. It's been rough on him, he won't say, but I can tell." He busied himself with putting the boxes in the fridge, and I got my mobile out. Tanith answered on the first ring.

"What's up sis, Ghastly's coming soon."

"Hello to you too. Look, Ghastly's under the impression you're not serious, so you'd better tell him how you feel tonight. Picking the right movie would help, but he's a man so just tell him. They need hit over the head with everything."

"But I've been telling him by being with him. I don't understand men. This is his job."

"He's scared you'll say no or leave, you know that. Be gentle."

We rang off and I looked up to see Skulduggery looking at me, arms folded and head tilted. "That was lovely except for the part where you implied men are thick."

"Yes, but she's a woman. I needed to insult the man so she could feel good about approaching him instead. Now she doesn't feel he's not interested, see?"

"I think so. Your lock picks should be here soon, then we'll have lots of fun at your house opening locked doors."

"That sounds like fun, actually. I wish I knew anything I could teach you in exchange."

"You know lots of things I don't."

"Name five."

Well you write, there's one. You can cook, there's two."

"Three more."

"You can stunt drive, if your 180 was any indication."

"Two more."

"You've mastered the art of watching TV, I'm sure that's a skill."

"Shaky, but I'll allow it, one more."

"You just made Ghastly Bespoke the happiest man alive. That's most definitely a skill."

I smiled. "True, wonder if he will mellow out any."

"Ghastly? I doubt it. But it will be amusing to see if he does. Once he's sure she's serious out will come the gifts and flowers."

"I think she'd like a steak dinner more. Or for a Cleaver to be forced into practicing with her."

"I'll let him know. Should we be interfering like this?"

"Why not? Once their an item they'll close ranks and tell us nothing. Now's our only chance to help. As for what I know and you don't I'll teach you the fine art of TV watching right now, if you like."

"Yes, yes I would."

We settled into the couch, Skulduggery again removing his gloves. He put his arm around me and I willingly settled into him, feeling his rib cage pressed into my back, and this time when he brought the other arm around he rested his hand on mine. I felt his teeth brush the top of my head, then he contently rested his chin there. He shifted his skull and I could feel his forehead pressed into the crown of my head, then his teeth pressed in again, gently, several times in succession. His arms tightened and I shifted around to put mine just as tightly around him.

I was fairly sure my heart was going to beat out my my ribcage as he held me like that. He tilted my head up gently by the chin and his teeth found my lips. I felt the world slip away, and he deepened the kiss, drawing me up and closer still. When we at last parted, he looked pleasantly dazed. "That," he managed, "Is something I should have done a long time ago. I'm sorry I made you wait."

He pulled me in again, and when we parted he looked rather smug. "I knew you couldn't resist my charm. You may feel free to admit you love me any time now."

"Oh, Skulduggery."

"I see I've left you speechless. Well, well. But I expected nothing less of myself."

"I don't think anyone loves you quite as much as you love yourself, but I'll do my level best."

"That's my girl."

"I'll never step out on you either."

"Much appreciated."

"And if you ever step out on me, Mister," I grabbed his tie and pulled him close, "I've got two words for you: bone meal."

"My, what a violent soul you are, and yet I love you anyhow." This time when he kissed me we didn't part for a very long time.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Gordon or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, story is still her pov.

* * *

Not long after I could feel sleep starting to claim me, and Skulduggery gently nudged me with his elbow. "You need to get to bed, go on now."

"All right, are you going to meditate?" I was trying to avoid the awkward question of him meditating in the same room with me. Being able to kiss him now was wonderful, but it also drained any innocence out of the question. I was in no hurry to move things along, but I didn't want to go two steps back either.

"Of course I am. There's a chair in the room if you don't mind the company."

"Not at all, I'd rather have you there with me."

"Then it's settled. By the time you've had your bath I'll have gotten settled in for the night, agreed?"

"Agreed." I said and kissed him chastely. Skulduggery grinned at me, clearly pleased with himself. I went up to the bath, much more relaxed in one sense. So I had kissed him, admitted I loved him, and that was a good thing, a grand thing even. But it also meant having the courage to continue that relationship, and that bit worried me. Could we still remain friends? Would our friends remain our friends? I guessed it didn't matter since I didn't want to go back to _not_ kissing him, best friend and partner or not.

I wondered if Tanith ever got this nervous. She'd confided in me sure, but she had that swagger and cocky grin that said she took life in her stride. I didn't want to mention anything to her just yet. Skulduggery had backed down on kissing me before, not that I blamed him. Him saying he loved me, well, he might go back on that as well.

I got out and put on my oversized football jersey that swept down to almost my knees. I opened the door and went out to the bedroom. The bed had been turned down and a cup of coffee was awaiting me. Skulduggery, true to his word had drug a chair close to the bed. His long legs were stretched out, his feet propped up on the bed. His skull was tilted down and his hands were folded on his chest. I got into bed and sipped the coffee slowly.

I felt the air shift ever so slightly and turned to look at Skulduggery. His head was up and he was watching me. I gave him a smile, reminded myself firmly that this was my partner and friend first, whatever else he might be had to come second. "Coffee's good?" He asked.

"Yes, excellent."

"Good, good. It feels like today went on forever, doesn't it?" He mused.

"Yes, it does. Are you warm enough?"

"Hmm? I'm OK."

"That means no. Come on then." I patted the bed and he stiffened.

"Valkyrie, that is hardly appropriate, considering."

"Considering you're my partner or considering you're my best friend? You deserve better than a chair anyhow."

"Bet you won't say that the first time I make you mad." He grumbled, but he got in.

"Mind if I read a while?"

"Be my guest. I suppose coffee isn't the best thing to serve you at night."

"No, I often read in bed. Bad habit, but fun. You should relax a little. You look like you're in traction."

"Sorry, but as I said this is hardly appropriate."

"Said the fully dressed man."

"Point taken, but still..."

"Relax, Skulduggery. I have no interest in hurrying things along, and you're too smart to."

"You think so, do you?"

"Behave or I'll box you one."

"I'm telling the Sanctuary you said that."

"Before or after you tell them where we were at the time?"

"I hate you."

"That's the spirit."

"That's my line."

"I know, but you steal all of mine, so we're even." Skulduggery relaxed at last into the bed and I reached over and shut off the light. He didn't need to know I rarely if ever read in bed. If he had known how nervous I was he wouldn't have stayed, and I wanted him to. I was just about to drowse off when I sensed by the shifting air currents that his head was turning. I felt his hand came up and brush my cheek.

"Behave."

"I am." He purred, coming closer. I stretched and relaxed into the pillows once more, closing my eyes. I felt him come closer still, then a bony arm wrapped around me. I heard a soft sigh, and felt him bury his head in my shoulder. I slowly stroked his skull and he nuzzled deeper. It tickled, making me grin into the darkness. We fell asleep that way and it was wonderful.

* * *

The next morning I found him in the kitchen. He brushed his teeth against my cheek in an affectionate greeting, then drew me into an embrace. His teeth found my lips and his gloved hand cradled the back of my head. I felt his other arm tighten and heard him sigh. I wrapped my own arms around him, wishing I never had to let go. He let go of me at last reluctantly, ruffling my hair and gazing at me fondly.

"Sleep well?" He asked, his velvety voice a contented purr.

"You know I did, and you?"

"Extremely well. Though for the first five minutes after I woke up I lay there thinking I was still dreaming. What a rotten time to have a case to get to." He grumbled.

I smiled and dug some fish and chips out of the fridge for breakfast. "Now, now. You know we have fun on all of our cases. Annoying the bad guys before arresting them is great fun."

He grinned. "I like punching them better, but annoying works too."

"I'm going to say what you're to much of a gentleman to, Skulduggery. We don't tell Tanith or Ghastly anything until we're both ready."

"You read my mind. Not that I'd mind having them know, I'm proud to have you with me. But-"

"But if things don't work out we'll never hear the end of it. Plus, who needs a lecture from Ghastly?"

"Exactly. I should call in to see what progress has been made." I nodded and he walked off, grunting at whomever was on the other end of the mobile. He was gone long enough for me to finish and sit back with my coffee. When he returned he looked pleased.

"It seems good things come to those who wait. There is indeed a nearby park, for the hospital of all things, and there is indeed an underground warren of caves. No way in or out though, but our boy found a way."

"Take this the right way, and don't be offended, Skulduggery, but I'd like to send Lord Vile in after him. I wanted to fight Vile as Darquesse and he still batted me around. Sorry, but he makes a lasting impression."

To my surprise Skulduggery smiled. "I'd thought of that actually. If I thought for one instant I could control myself and be Vile, yet not loose myself to his hate, I would. I don't know how traces of him worked their way into your armour though." He paused, considering. "OK, I do know. We sometimes have to admit to ourselves who we are and he is me. But the part of me I can't control. I don't know how you get him to listen."

"I'd say something noble, but when I realized he was being a typical male and not listening, I gave him a beat down. I thought you were arrogant, but he assumes I'm just going to roll forward and kill everything in my path because he would. That makes me hate him, and I don't want to hate him."

Skulduggery got me more coffee, and sat listening. He was good at that, I had to admit, so I continued. "When I was Darquesse I knew exactly how he felt, and in a way I was worse. For all his bad points Vile can reason, I couldn't. If he hadn't been restraining himself he'd have killed me in an instant. That made me respect him. For all the horror stories, for all the things he did, he had reasons, his own logic. Even Vile had limits, I didn't."

Skulduggery patted my hand. "You saw, and I can't believe I'm telling you this, an older, wiser Lord Vile. In his younger days he'd have just killed you in an instant and as the Death Bringer he knew how. But he liked you in his own way. Wanted to see what you were. That doesn't mean he wouldn't kill you, but he enjoyed himself with you in a dark way. You were the challenge he'd wanted to find for a long time."

"You like me even when you want to kill me, that's rather sweet of you, Skulduggery."

"And you liked me, even though as Darquesse you could have ripped me to shreds. Then again I am charming and irresistible so I can see why."

"Humble, you forgot humble."

Skulduggery waved a lazy hand. "I'll be humble when I run out of drive and skill, which I never will. Besides I'd look horrid in sackcloth and ashes. Well no, maybe I would look good-"

"That's for mourning, Skulduggery."

"I know, people who are humble should mourn because they let their pride die." I shook my head. Sometimes there were just no words to answer him with.

* * *

We both wanted to get back to training and so we found ourselves in the field. Skulduggery watched me touch the armour, but didn't instantly attack. I tilted my head at him. He snorted with laughter. "I'm sorry, but having kissed you, well, this is just creepy."

"What did you say, Skulduggery?" I growled.

"Well you look like a man now, don't you? It makes my skin crawl."

I felt what passed for my eyes narrow. "Are you backpedaling again?" I growled

"No, not in the slightest. You're just giving me the creeps right now. But then you Necromancers are always creepy."

I lost my temper, tried to throw shadows at him, and realized belatedly that it was a trick. Skulduggery was on me in an instant, pinning me to the ground. "Gotcha." He purred.

"That was a rotten trick."

"But it worked. My! You have a temper on you. You'd be a lot prettier out of this armour you know." His hands come up and tapped my jaws, but the armour refused to budge.

"Ha!" I laughed. "Besides, what makes you think I forgive you insulting me?"

"Because you love me?"

"You hope."

"Come on then, armour off." I sighed and touched my jaws, the armour came away, fell to the side. Skulduggery pressed his teeth to my lips, but chastely this time, then helped me to stand. He looked at me grinning. "That was training, even if it was short, so I won, didn't I?"

I gaped at him. "Skulduggery, if you're saying you were nice to me to win-"

"Not in the least. I _taunted_ you to win and you fell for it. Getting to kiss you, well, that just added to the victory."

"Remind me why I love you."

"Because I'm perfect." I sighed and he continued. "I've also figured out something for us to do today, research. It would never occur to you to look there, but I'm sure Gordon has something useful on that cave system, he almost always does. Except on your armour of course. Because, I assume, he finds it boring."

"Skulduggery-"

"Now, now, my dearest combat accessory, temper, temper. You need to be more peaceful like me." He took the armour from me and put it in the boot, and we got in. Skulduggery turned to me, grinning broadly. "You're fun to tease, and have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you're angry?"

"Shut up and drive, Skulduggery!" I snapped.

He made an amused sound, checking his disguise in the rear view mirror. I could sense the Cheshire grin forming on his features. He turned to me. "I'll only say this once, because you know I don't like talking about myself, but you are the most lucky woman in the world to have me, I hope you know that."

"If you ever want me to kiss you again, just shut up and drive, Skulduggery." He chortled happily and put the Bentley in drive, heading for Gordon's house.

* * *

We arrived, Skulduggery humming a waltz rather loudly to a point of being annoying. But he grabbed me in the foyer and twirled me around, making me laugh. "See? You can dance, and well too. You should let me teach you, it'll be fun." He said brightly.

I cuddled into him, feeling his arms wrap around me. "You're cute when you're ebullient, you know that?" I asked.

He pressed his forehead into mine, his eye sockets staring at me happily. "You _make_ me ebullient. Shall we go tell Gordon the good news?"

"That we're here for research?"

He laughed. "I was thinking he'd be good to tell about recent developments. He isn't going to judge us, you know."

"He better not because I have excellent taste in men."

"But I have far better taste in women."

"True, but then you always were better at everything." I teased.

"Huh, there's no way to back out of that one for me is there? Oh yes there is: the student has surpassed the master. There you are, the one thing you are better at than me."

"Fixing horse races?"

"Very funny, I meant-"

"You can't say it, can you?"

"Yes I can, you're better at being annoying." I laughed and we went up the stairs together. I entered Uncle Gordon's study first, and veered off for his private study, grinning at him as I went. He grinned back, pleased with himself for having figured out the truth long before Skulduggery had said anything. I clicked the door closed behind me, and shook with laugher. I could only imagine the look on Skulduggery's face when he figured out Gordon already knew. I figured I would give them a few minutes and meandered amongst the artefacts and library of rarities before finding the book we needed.

I emerged to see Skulduggery looking rather pleased with himself. My uncle looked at me the tiniest tilt of my head letting me know he'd feigned surprise. "So, Skulduggery tells me there have been some interesting developments between you two. It's about time."

I walked over, gazing at him fondly. Even though he wasn't really my true Uncle Gordon, I'd called Echo Gordon that for years now. He'd always been there for me, never judging me. Now he was happy for me. He did his level best to hug me, stopping right before he would have went through me.

"I've already told him if he doesn't treat you well he's answering to me. But if you don't treat him well-"

"I know, we'll both behave. More or less." I said with a grin.

"Good, good. Don't you have some coffee to make downstairs? I would like a few more minutes to say suitably threatening things to him."

"We came for this." I showed him the book on the cave system. "What can you tell us the book can't?"

"Ah, the rather magical and dodgy cave system. Unlike the one below this mansion it has no entrances I'm afraid, and for good reason. There's no monsters, but there is the disturbing habit of the cave to just-"

"Yes?" I asked.

"It sounds stupid, but the cave eats people. It turns those it doesn't eat into slaves of sorts who go out and bring more people back to feed it."

"That does sound stupid." Skulduggery agreed. "How can a cave eat people?"

"Oh, not with teeth and jaws, but it takes the essence right out of them. If your killer is hiding in those cave he's either 'feeding' it, if you like, and knows it, or he has no idea of the danger he is in."

"That would explain almost everything." Skulduggery said. "Not his killings of course, but his deviation from a set pattern, that he appears to be aging and losing power at last. Tricky question, Gordon, but what would happen if this cave managed to eat a god?"

"I imagine it would use his powers to lure in people from the world above, or find a way to go to them. It is alive in a sense, so would use that power to its best advantage. Calling on the weak first, to buildup reserves, I'd think."

"And it just happens to be under a hospital." I sighed. This case just kept getting better and better.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Gordon, Lord Vile, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24 and the story is still from her POV.

* * *

Several hours later we were sitting in Ghastly's office. He'd demanded we come in after Skulduggery had called him. Both of us were puzzled, since knowing what the cave was might be a good thing. After all if the killer stayed down there for the eleven remaining days until his sacrifice of Skulduggery was due, he'd likely die.

The cave would be a problem then of course, powered by a god's lifeforce and with an endless appetite for more human prey. Ghastly paced up and down, clearly agitated. I looked at Skulduggery and he shrugged. Neither of us had any idea of what we were there for, so we both remained silent. Ghastly turned around, fixed us both with a glare before speaking. "You know I can't send anyone into a cave like that, right? That all we can do is wait, and hopefully he comes out and we arrest him. I'm not letting either of you go down after him, so don't even ask. Worst case scenario, the cave absorbs him and goes after the civilians in the hospital, but we can have people in place, try to be ready." He sighed wearily and turned to me. "This, Valkyrie, was the worst possible time for you to give up Necromancy, because it is the one thing we know of from the book that can repel the cave."

I nodded an apology, kept my head down. Ghastly was just getting started. "The temples have been destroyed in many places, but we have ways of contacting the survivors. Unless either of you have another option, which I'd love to hear."

I nodded, knowing full-well what I was about to suggest would anger Skulduggery to no end. "We store the power, my power, in my armour. Wreath taught me about it the best he could. Usually an expert would handle this, we don't even know if the armour can withstand it, but I can try."

Ghastly stared at me for the longest time. "You can do this?" He finally asked. I looked into his eyes and I knew. I knew he'd known the truth about Lord Vile for years, but had forgiven Skulduggery, had never moved against him. He was telling me in his own way he knew the path I'd have to take, that I too might be lost like Lord Vile was. His eyes asked if I was willing to take that chance.

"I can try." Was all I managed.

He nodded. "Give me time to think about it, Valkyrie. I don't have any right to force Necromancy back on you to fight this cave, but as you well know those Necromancers that might be left are not inclined to help people. God, they'd most likely worship the cave as the next Death Bringer."

Skulduggery stiffened. I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. With a trace of Lord Vile's personality in the armour I could just as easily rampage through the streets of Dublin spreading carnage. Thankfully, Ghastly pretended to misread his reaction. "I know you hate Necromancers, Skulduggery we all do." He winced, turned to me. "Sorry Valkyrie, no offense intended, you're the one decent Necromancer I've ever met. But that's my point, to both of you.

He looked at me grimly. "I know you wouldn't take advantage of the situation. I know you'll fight as best as you are able. We can provide backup, the entire Sanctuary will be there, though it will take a lot of convincing of civilians that they didn't see anything after. But we'll work out a ruse, we always do. Still, give me time to think. This isn't an easy thing for me to ask of you." He dismissed us and we walked slowly to the Bentley, neither of us saying a word.

* * *

Skulduggery turned to me in the car. "Wreath taught you how to do it? He doesn't even know how to do it."

"I know that, but Lord Vile did. He was nice enough to give me another flash of insight."

"I think you're daydreaming again. Lord Vile's armour was crafted by Necromancers for him, that much I do remember."

"But he was there for the forging. He, as the Death Bringer took over the process, worked his Necromancy into the armour himself. He stood there laughing at them while he did it too, nobody suspected a thing."

"I'd forgotten about that. But yes he did, still there's a difference. Your armour is already forged, Valkyrie. It won't work."

"Do you also remember Vile could transfer his Necromancy to his weapons by touch?"

Skulduggery folded his arms on the steering wheel and buried his head. "Yes." He said, voice muffled.

"Well then, let's be positive and think that feeling how he did it is a good enough lesson for me to be able to do the same thing."

Skulduggery sighed. "I never thought we'd see the day when Vile could be useful. I always wondered why your armour was black, that's just clicking into place now. God, I sincerely hope Ghastly never figures that out." His voice faint, he continued. "I don't want to loose him, but I know if he finds out the truth, I know he'll kill me, or at the very least arrest me. I don't mind that, it's the least I deserve. But if he were to hurt you as an extension of myself? Oh, Valkyrie."

"He knows, Skulduggery. He's known for some time, and he's forgiven you. " Skulduggery looked at me, utter misery written on his features, and silently put the Bentley into drive.

* * *

Skulduggery was silent for the rest of the drive home. At his house he went to his desk and put his head down, refusing to look at me. "Please, Valkyrie, I just need some time alone. Please." I knew not to push him. I shut the office door quietly, leaving him in peace. For the rest of the night I paced restlessly, keeping vigil outside the office door, half terrified out of my mind that Skulduggery would find a way to kill himself in his despair.

Around dawn my mobile rang. Ghastly. "Hello?" I answered. My voice was hoarse, raspy.

"Valkyrie? If you think you can do it, I need you to. I'm sorry there's no other way. How is he?"

"I honestly don't know. I've been outside his office all night. I haven't heard a sound. I don't even know if he's alive."

"Valkyrie Cain, what kind of partner are you?" Ghastly barked into the phone. "You get in there and you get in there now, and you tell him an Elder is _ordering_ him to help you, you got that? Don't you dare leave Skulduggery alone for that long when he's like that ever again, do you hear me?" The line went dead and I meekly went to the door. I entered just in time to hear Skulduggery's mobile ring. He answered and I could hear an angered tirade from Ghastly, even from across the room.

"What kind of mentor are you?" I heard him roar. "You two are the absolute worst detectives I've ever seen as an Elder. If either of you had any brains you'd be dangerous. Now I don't want to hear about EITHER of you just giving up ever again, do you HEAR me?"

Skulduggery winced. "Yes, I hear you, so can Valkyrie." I came to the desk.

"Put me on speaker, Skulduggery." Ghastly's voice was slightly calmer. Neither of us dared tell him he didn't need it. Skulduggery did as he was told and Ghastly continued in a calmer voice. "You have to forgive yourself Skulduggery and man up. We all killed people during the war, and every single one of them had a family back home. I'd be lying if I didn't say I hated Lord Vile for a long time, but I also knew my mother made a mistake facing him alone. I've forgiven you, now you must find it in you to forgive yourself. You found a way back to us. Valkyrie is going to need you beside her or we'll loose her too. I've always thought of you as a brother, Skulduggery, and you know how much it hurt when you left. Valkyrie is like a daughter to me, and I don't have to tell you of all people how fathers get about their daughters, do I?"

"No." Skulduggery managed.

"Good, because if my daughter gets killed or lost, I'm holding you responsible Skulduggery and that I will kill you for, understood?" He didn't wait for a response, but spoke to me. "Now you know, Valkyrie, but don't expect me to be the doting kind of father who takes you everywhere and spends money on you. You have Skulduggery to do that for you. Though if you take advantage of my brother-"

I smiled before answering. "I'll behave, you know I wouldn't take advantage of him, ever. You are exactly like Gibbs, by the way. I almost felt the head slap."

Ghastly laughed, then rang off. Skulduggery looked at me, dumbfounded. I went and hugged him tight. "You've got an irate magical family now too, Skulduggery. Aren't you a lucky man?"

He nodded. "Yes I am, and I'll never forget that. You do know you are luckier though, having the man formerly known as Lord Vile to teach you have to transfer your powers to the armour right? We have time and we'll need to do some research to make sure of a few things. Vile wouldn't lie, surprisingly, but assuming knowing how he did it would make it safe for you to try gives me pause. Let's make sure that nothing can go wrong, all right?"

I nodded and he drew me into a tight embrace, kissing me deeply. When we at last parted, he looked at me. "Do I even have to ask?"

"Yes, Skulduggery, if we both live I'll marry you."

"Good."

* * *

That evening we rested on the couch watching TV. Once again because Skulduggery was beside me I didn't even know what was on. "Skulduggery?"

"Mmm?"

"Where are we going to do research?"

"Gordon's house, but remember, it is really your house."

"But he doesn't have any books on Necromancy."

"Yes he does. He's hidden them away for me."

I turned to get a good look at him, and he kissed me softly. "Where?" I asked, mystified.

Skulduggery chuckled slightly, running his skeletal fingers through my hair. "There's a room beyond his secret study. He's keeping my books there along with Vile's armour, and some of his weapons."

"Wow."

"Wow, indeed."

"How long has he known?"

"That I'm Lord Vile? Since before you were born. He knew, obviously, that I never wanted you to know about it until I thought the time was right, which, admittedly, would have been never."

"Oh Skulduggery." I wrapped him in a massive hug. "I love you, I'm not going to judge you. I didn't exactly tell you about Darquesse until I had my name sealed. I know I didn't react that well and went off and had a good sulk, but it was your not trusting me that hurt. Not your being Lord Vile. I kind of like Lord Vile."

"So you have said on numerous occasions. Once I've seen the books, studied my notes we can be sure we are doing things the right way. If I thought I could trust myself I'd don my armour and do it for you, of course, but that is a last resort situation, obviously."

"Don't worry, Skulduggery, what are the odds of that happening?"

* * *

Bright and early the next morning we were over at Gordon's in the room beyond his secret study. I was impressed. Books bound in black leather lined several shelves, and various weapons lined one wall. One another assorted books on Necromancy lined several bookcases, But what arrested my attention was Vile's armour. It was black like mine, but almost plain in comparison. Still, it almost felt as if it were alive and Lord Vile himself stood before me. I drug my attention away to watch Skulduggery as he searched through the black-bound books.

He cast a glance at me. "There's a lot of research here, Valkyrie, feel free to jump in at any time. You could start with the books over there." He jerked his skull back, indicating the bookself by Vile's armour.

I nodded, happy to be of use. I hardly had the first book off the shelf when I felt Skulduggery caress my hair. "Skulduggery! Cut that out or we'll never get done."

I heard his annoyed snort from across the room. "Cut what out? I'm reading, Valkyrie. So should you. Now get to work."

The caressing hand continued and I stood slowly to face Vile's armour. The hands of which had helped me up. I could feel the eye slits staring at me, and a gauntleted hand came up to caress my face. I closed my eyes. The touch was exactly the same as Skulduggery's. The arms wrapped around me, firmly but gently and drew me close. I heard a book fall to the floor with a thud. Vile's armour dipped it's head and pressed the armoured forehead into mine.

I hear several inarticulate sounds come out of Skulduggery. At last he could speak. "I forgot, the armour can activate when I'm in close proximity. Apparently Lord Vile is rather smitten with you."

I looked into the eye slits and the head tilted endearingly. This was, after all, part of Skulduggery, so I took my chances. "Lord Vile?" The head dipped in a graceful nod. "You know what I am here for?" A gauntleted hand came up to rest on my shoulder and he nodded again. "Will you help me?" At that his arms fell away from me and the armour once again become inert. I looked over at Skulduggery.

He shrugged. "It is only the armour remember, a small part of Vile. True it is him, is rather me in a sense. I still want to research, if all else fails Vile's fascination with you might help us." We did do research, with me having to take a few breaks to eat, but it was clear Vile hadn't been fool enough to write down anything about his own armour.

"Because he kept it locked away, up here." Skulduggery tapped his skull. He looked nervous. The hour was late, but that had nothing to do with it. He hesitated, then spoke. "You might want to have your armour on in case his good will runs out."

"No Skulduggery, he'll take that as a threat, as rejection. Trust me on this, I know how to approach him."

"He could kill you!"

"Skulduggery, we don't have any other choice. Let me get the armour. There's a wide lawn behind this mansion. I'll meet Vile there. Trust me, and be brave."

He looked miserable but nodded. Skulduggery touched the armour and it collapsed in on itself. "Well, let's get this over with."

I nodded, and we went out to the Bentley for the armour, Skulduggery watching me with a pained expression. "You don't have to do this." He said.

"Skulduggery, I, well, I'll tell you later, but trust me, this will work."

He nodded sadly, and we walked to the grassy area behind the mansion. The moonlight filtered down as I backed away, leaving the armour at Skulduggery's feet. He looked at me, his expression almost too much for me to take. "Valkyrie. Please, don't make me do this." His voice was anguished.

"Be brave." I said. I swear actual tears ran down his skeletal face then, but I couldn't be sure, because in an instant Lord Vile stood before me.

I nodded respectfully to him and he inclined his head to stare at me through the eye slits of his visor. "Lord Vile." He looked at me for the longest time, then slowly nodded. I walked closer hoping really, really hard that his memories were indeed his and I hadn't gotten Skulduggery's daydreams instead. "I need your help. You know what I want to do, what I need to do. Think of it, a cave stronger than a god. Think of what a Necromancer could do to that cave with the right preparations."

He crossed his arms like Skulduggery and looked down at my armour, then back up at me, a question in his glance. "You're the only Necromancer strong enough to help me." This wasn't working. I walked even closer, feeling his stare. "Please, teach me." For a moment I though maybe I was wrong, maybe I hadn't read Vile's memories correctly. But I had. It was never Darquesse he desired as a student, but me. He closed the gap between us, took me into his arms. He armoured head once again dipped to press against mine.

He stood back and gestured to the armour, then to me. He tapped his own armour. He wanted me in mine. I nodded and touched the armour. It came on faithfully as always, and Lord Vile circled me, looking at it from every angle. I realized he could have destroyed me at a whim, I could feel the raw power coiled inside of him. Vile's gauntleted hands inspected my clothes, touched the armour itself. I felt a lingering caress on my back, then his hands rested on my shoulders. Then he turned me around to face him. Shadows swirled around him, and he gathered these shadows and pressed them into my armour.

I could feel the power of Necromancy at his touch, could feel how ice cold the armour became. He seemed to sense my discomfort and his visored gaze held mine steadily. Lord Vile was encouraging me to take the power for myself, to seal it into the armour. Without words he was guiding me through the process, pleased with how rapidly we progressed. When we were finished and the armour was sealed he stepped back from me in satisfaction, arms folded and head tilted to one side.

He looked at me and I hear his unasked question. "Yes, Lord Vile, I'd be honored to train with you." I could feel his smile, even behind his armour.

* * *

 **I've always thought Ghastly knew the truth about Lord Vile and was a far better man and friend than anyone suspected. Also I figured Lord Vile himself, was, after all, Skulduggery, no matter how many times people pretend he isn't. So he'd have the same emotional reaction to Valkyrie, and loves her in his own way. Next up: training with Lord Vile!**


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, or Lord Vile. Val is still 24, still her point of view. Yes I take liberties here and give Lord Vile some upgrades. It's called fan fiction, not fan fact. Mostly because that would just sound stupid.

* * *

Lord Vile had come to stand by my side, the shadows swirling around his armour. He just looked at me, and somehow I could feel myself drawing shadows as well, so that they wrapped around me, moving and flickering like his. He inclined his head slightly in silent approval. He thrust out his hand in front of him, the hand seeming to lengthen and sharpen to a point and spears of shadows flew from him. Again I could intuit what he wanted, wondering if the traces of him in the armour helped. At that thought I felt more power come into the armour, an almost endless reservoir. Vile noticed even though I made no sound or movement.

His armoured hands were on my shoulders, silently urging me to bring the power up and out, to release it. I did, and a wave of shadows flooded out of me, expanding on all sides, then racing away towards the tree line and back towards the mansion, bent on destruction. Vile's own shadows let mine flow around him, and at a gesture more shadows rose up, containing mine before they hit anything.

I could almost hear a faint humming from inside his armour. He tilted his head and I understood what he wanted. He splayed his hand and the shadows poured out, I joined him, our shadows entwining. They became a living thing almost, dancing and feinting, then together, a weapon that could have shattered stone. Vile was pleased with me, I could tell. At a gesture he had me unsheathe my sword. I handed it to him. He looked at the blade, testing it. I felt him shoot me a look for using my sword to block blows when fighting Lovegate and Tanith. He let me know it was wrong, and an excellent way to ruin a sword.

He shook his head, but still pressed the shadows into my sword. He returned it, pausing to touch my guns as well. Then the brim of my hat. His hand rested for a while on my armoured face, then he walked several paces away and his own sword was in his hands. People mistakenly thought Necromancers didn't or couldn't use weapons, but we did. Vile, superior warrior that he was, was well skilled with a sword. I thanked my lucky stars he hadn't thought of his battle ax instead, and his head titled in amusement.

I realized he could read my thoughts and I could feel him smile behind his visor. We went through the basic moves I would need, Vile pointing out when to step to the side, how to avoid a blow of the sword without blocking, and the exceedingly rare times it was OK to use the flat of the sword, though there were always other options.

I was slow at first, but he was every bit the patient teacher Skulduggery was. He was perfecting the skills I already had, sharpening them so they would be actual skills not reliance on my armour's abilities. The thought that Lord Vile was teaching me to fight made me smile, and I could feel him smile in return as we trained. He could fight one-handed as well, so he taught me to use the sword in both hands, then perfected my two-handed grip.

Then we were sparring, and I was advancing and retreating as he taught me, as his own sword flashed towards me, or he left openings for me to attack. Once or twice he lured me in, teaching me to be wary of an opponent. We were gradually picking up speed as we fought, Vile's excitement palatable. He advanced towards me, his sword speeding towards my neck. I ducked, coming up with my own swing aimed towards his exposed side.

But he merely shadow walked out of range, taunting me to come meet him with a tilt of the head. I knew better than to fall for the bait, so instead I shadow walked further away. I could feel his surprise. Then he was instantly behind me, sword to my neck. I felt him shake his head and release me, but overall he seemed satisfied with my progress. I could feel his silent question. Would I want Lord Vile at my side in the hospital? I nodded respectfully. He bowed his head to me gracefully, then Skulduggery was raising his visor. He lifted his own armour away in pieces, still shaking his head.

"You're lucky he didn't kill you, getting distance between you and Lord Vile isn't ever useful. Still, he was pleased you didn't come to meet him either."

"Then there was no right solution?"

"Oh there was, you should have attacked with your shadows, and most likely would have if you weren't so busy being smitten with him. I felt that, by the way."

I removed my own armour before replying. "Uh, that's because you _are_ Lord Vile."

He smirked in my direction. "Yes, yes I am. Never thought I'd live to see the day Lord Vile started to redeem himself."

"Skulduggery, you've been redeeming yourself for the last several hundred years. You know you have."

"True, but Lord Vile hasn't, so I get to start all over again. Lucky me. He loves you, you know."

"I know, he passed on quite a bit with the armour. I don't know how since it was from my great grandmother, but the form was his gift to me, somehow. That explains all my abilities, and here I thought I was just naturally talented."

Skulduggery chuckled, coming over to chuck my softly on the chin. "So THAT'S what you were going to tell me later. I wish you and Vile would let me in on these little tête-à-têtes . "

"You're jealous of yourself? That's a whole new level of egotism, even for you."

"Why shouldn't I be? He is me, and therefore irresistible. I'm half surprised you didn't charm him out of his armour."

"Skulduggery!" I felt the heat rise to my face.

He made another of his chirruping sounds in response. "Now now, my dear. I know you're too much of a lady to do any such thing, at least I _hope_ you are."

I gaped at him, and he started humming again, sauntering towards the Bentley. The sun had started to rise and as I stowed the armour Skulduggery looked at me. "You're beautiful in the morning, but of course you are. You're _my_ combat accessory. Breakfast? I'll even take you to that dreadful diner with the stupid waitress if you want."

I grinned. "I love your back-handed compliments, but yes, breakfast sounds lovely." He nodded and we got in.

"Seat belt."

"Yes, boss."

"Cute."

* * *

Skulduggery relaxed into the booth after I'd given my order and eyed me appreciatively. "You do know when you walk into that hospital ten days from now with Vile at your side heads are going to turn. Are you sure you trust him that much?"

"Yes, I am. I'm counting on his to go for the kill as soon as he sees an opening, but I have a feeling the cave won't make it easy. Hopefully in the ten days our killer doesn't leave the cave. Arresting him would be anticlimactic."

"Besides, you're looking forward to Vile being with you."

We paused as my breakfast arrived. "Yes, I am. I told you before I'd be proud to have him fight at my side and I meant it."

"He knows it, that's why he offered in the first place. He won't let you down." We left it at that. We didn't mention the obvious. That even Lord Vile might fall, and so could I. We didn't say a word about loosing one another because we'd faced it countless times before and it never got any easier. We just learned to put our emotions to one side until afterwards. Still, Lord Vile would be fighting once again, and I knew he was looking forward to it.

* * *

That evening I was stretched out on the couch with a book at home, which is what Skulduggery now insisted I call his house. He was reading the paper in his meditation chair. I felt him look over at me several times. "Hmm?" I asked.

"Um, nothing."

"Your very irresistible, Skulduggery. I've been wondering why you didn't kiss me all day." He made a rather high pitched sound I'd never heard before and I could tell I'd affronted his dignity. "You know future notice that I can initiate things would be appreciated." I said dryly, still reading. He didn't say a word and I looked up at him. The look on his face was dreadful. He'd assumed I'd just know and now he was offended that I didn't know about my newly given rights as part of what made him so wonderful. How dreadful a woman I was, not to know.

I got up smiling and went over to sit in his lap. He was still giving me the same baleful gaze and made no move to embrace me. But when I kissed him his arms locked around me and he didn't let me go for a very long while, adjusting his teeth on my lips from time to time. I felt his strong hands grip my shoulders and he drew his legs up, sliding my body in closer to his. When he at last let me go, he looked serene. "That's what you get for not knowing any better." He murmured.

I caressed his skull in response and ran my hand over his delicate facial bones. I marveled at the thinness of the zygomatic bone as I traced it with my finger. The bones of his eye sockets seemed as thin as eggshells, and I realized then as a skeleton he was fragile, compared to a man with flesh protecting him, and that I'd always have to be careful to not hurt him. He brought a hand up to capture mine, pressed it to his teeth. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I just realized how terribly handsome you really are."

"Mmm. You just want me to make you coffee."

"True."

"Get up then." He said good naturedly. We went to the kitchen, both well pleased the kiss hadn't ended in romantic mush. Neither one of us was like that. I knew as he busied himself with the coffee he was relieved I wasn't and didn't expect him to become a fawning, simpering mess. I'd always disliked that in a man. I was also grateful Skulduggery wasn't a fan of public displays of affection. They made my skin crawl since I saw them as the hollow boasts of possession they were. That, I reflected was what was wrong with people. They mistook possession for love, and in the end when they realized that you couldn't own another human any more than you could own a cat, they fell out of love, the illusion shattered.

I knew full well that Skulduggery was his own man as I was my own woman. We didn't need to be owned or to own. We didn't have to say 'I love you' every five minutes in gooey voices because words were really meaningless, and the people who said it the most often didn't seem to actually be in love with a person, they loved the idea of being in love.

We showed out love by moments like these, kept in companionable silence. We showed them through our friendship, which was only growing stronger daily. We were well aware that the friendship was the base of everything, that without it, being together would be meaningless. Right then I was very pleased to be with my best friend. That he was also the man I loved deepened the feeling, but the friendship came first. We took the coffee to the living room by silent agreement, Skulduggery putting on a Nat King Cole album before settling into the couch. He held me as I sipped my coffee. When 'It's Almost Like Being In Love' came on I smiled into my cup and heard him snort. "Pure mush." He grunted.

"Yes, but imagine this playing as we tooled around Ireland in Christine. Then it isn't mush, it's good driving music."

"You make a wonderful point, assuming you can ever get me in that car again."

"Oh come on, you know you love her. She should appeal to your ego."

"How so?"

"She was a creamy eggshell color when I got her, and the detailer wanted to paint her light blue after he restored her. I had to insist on the dark blue."

He was silent for a minute. "Like my suit." He said at last, his voice a mixture of awe and affection. He placed a kiss on the back of my head before continuing. "I always wondered why you didn't choose black, though you could have as I am exceedingly dashing in a tuxedo. As I think you well know if the way you looked at me the night of the ball was any indication."

"I thought that would be a little too obvious, really. I went with hiding in plain sight instead."

"Who ever taught you to be so clever? That's right, me. I retract everything I've ever said, she's a lovely car, even if she isn't a Bentley."

I yawned and stretched. "I'm almost thinking of sleeping down here tonight. We could watch TV until we fall asleep."

"Oh no you don't, young lady. You go get a bath, then bed. I'll be with you shortly." I came out of the bath to find coffee awaiting me one again and Skulduggery planted happily beneath the covers. He had a teasing look on his face I did my best to ignore. I got in and he turned to me.

"Hello, fair and helpless maiden." He purred.

"Skulduggery, behave." I sipped my coffee, managing not to spill it as he sat up to embrace me, nuzzling his skull into my neck, his teeth doing dreadful things.

"Skulduggery! Stop that!"

"Make me."

"Skullduggery!" I laughed, setting my coffee back down as he found a rather ticklish area. I pushed him gently away, and he collapsed back into the pillows dramatically, doing his level best to look like rejection had turned him into a mere inanimate skeleton. I couldn't suppress my laugher over that, and it only got worse when he brought the back of one hand to his forehead and sighed. He looked over at me then mischief dancing in his eye sockets.

Skulduggery crooked a finger towards me, and I obligingly shut out the light and cuddled down beside him. He looped one arm around me, adjusting himself so I could rest with my arms around him and my head on his chest. "You don't find this disturbing in any way? I am a skeleton you know."

"That's a point in your favour as far as I'm concerned."

"My bones don't hurt you? You aren't uncomfortable?"

"Of course not, Skulduggery, I've always loved it when you've held me."

"You don't find me unappealing? I am dead, you know." His voice was soft.

"Skulduggery Pleasant, don't you even start thinking like that. I've always found you appealing, and how many times do I have to tell you you are living."

"Am not."

"You can be healed can't you?"

"Yes."

"Then you're alive. Also, as I pointed out before dead skeletons tend to collapse. I know because I've seen it happen."

"That must have given you a fright."

"It terrified me. I realized I loved you even then, but had the sense to keep my fool mouth shut."

"Ah, I thought when Davina needled you you got a little too angry, but I thought the idea of being in love with me insulted you."

"God, you're thick."

"I usually am, where you are concerned. You could have told me earlier, you know."

"Like how early? I thought twenty four would be too soon."

"Twenty one, it's well past the age of consent in Ireland."

"You're kidding me."

"No, I'm not. I waited that whole year to see in you would say something because I realized I wanted you with me."

"You should have said something."

"Indeed I should have. But get some rest. I'm sure Ghastly will have some busywork for us in the morning. If nothing else we should get updates from all the detectives." We both fell silent then, and it wasn't long before sleep claimed me.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Lord Vile, Kenspeckle, Ghastly or Valkyrie. Val is still 27, still her point of view.

* * *

I awoke several hours later, covered with a despair so deep I didn't think I could move. All I could think of was the family I'd never see again, and nothing, not even Skulduggery at my side made life seem worth living then. It hurt so bad I couldn't even cry or move. When would the pain ever stop? I felt two arms go around me, and a velvety voice spoke soothingly. "There, there. What is it? What's wrong?" I flung myself towards the sound of that voice, clutching Skulduggery so hard I could feel every bone in his ribcage.

"Skulduggery! I just miss my family so much! I feel so alone. Wait, I don't mean that, I mean-"

"I know precisely what you mean. Put the light on now, please."

I turned on the light and would have stayed facing away from him, but Skulduggery turned me towards him. He pulled me into his arms, cradling me on his lap as he spoke. "Valkyrie, it's all right. I am never in a million years going to take the place your family has in your heart, nor should I. I know it hurts, but this grief that you feel is a good thing."

"But when does it get better, Skulduggery? When does the pain go away? Just tell me the pain goes away."

He was silent for a moment then he answered softly. "It never does. You learn to think more of the happy times after a while, and knowing they wouldn't want you grieving can help. But you never get over it. There are times when the pain is as fresh as your first moment of loss, but those do become fewer and fewer as time passes. The important thing is for you to choose to live. To take the life they gave you and make something productive out of it, even without them by your side. I still miss my parents, my siblings. But having friends, having you here makes it easier on me. I miss my wife and child every day. Sorry. that was the wrong thing to say to you."

I pulled back to look at him. His skull hung low and I could see the pain written on his features. I stroked his face and he took my hand in his, holding it there. "Skulduggery, that is the BEST possible thing for you to say. I know you loved you wife and child, that you still do. I would be so disappointed in you if you didn't. You're a good man, you never abandon those you love, and don't you dare think being with me means I expect you to."

He looked up startled, and I continued. "Don't you know how happy it makes me that you had a wife and child to love you? Don't you know how much I love them for making you happy? God, Skulduggery, if I could, I'd return them to you in an instant. But I can't, no matter how much I love you and want to. The best I can do is be proud of you for being such a fine man and be happy that you love them, both of them, still." I fell quiet and dipped my head down, not wanting to look at him. Skulduggery tilted my head up gently and kissed me. It was a chaste kiss, but I could feel the emotion in it.

"You are the perfect friend, the perfect partner, and you will make the perfect wife, Valkyrie Cain. I never knew how to ask you if it bothered you or if my loving them hurt you. I love and adore you every bit as much as I love them, more even. I just want you to know you are not a substitute, an also-ran, or someone to occupy my time. I love and adore you, or I wouldn't be here with you now, you know that." He kissed me deeply then, his teeth pressing onto my lips urgently. I returned his kiss and it deepened until I felt my whole soul was on fire.

When we at last drew apart, I could feel he felt unsure of himself, felt that he'd gone too far. I smiled at him and stroked his cheek, he immediately buried his head in my hand then brought his teeth up to kiss my palm. "You're just trying to get out of making coffee, Mister." I teased.

"Actually I was trying to get past first base." He teased back.

"Cad!"

"Beautiful woman. Still I have surprise for you. You get to watch me cook you breakfast."

"At five in the morning?"

"No time like the present. Get a shower and you'll feel better. I'll have coffee waiting for you. I won't cook until you're there though. I want to impress you."

I smiled. "You always impress me."

"Good. Off with you then." He kissed me once more and I went to get my shower. I couldn't believe my good fortune in having him, and for a moment as I washed my hair, enjoying the massage I gave my scalp, I wondered if he was real. I half expected to find an empty kitchen when I went downstairs. _No,_ I told myself, M/Ihe is real and a far better man than I deserve./I I'd be so selfish and so self-centered with him for years. Only now did I feel like I was really coming alive, becoming his true and active partner. I got dressed quickly and went downstairs.

Skulduggery turned as I came into the kitchen, a delighted sound coming from him. "Valkyrie, you look truly lovely this morning."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "I look this way every morning, Skulduggery."

"No, today you are truly resplendent. Trust me, I know about these things." I grinned in reply and he came forward to capture me in his arms, making his happy chirrup again. "Sometimes I think I made you up in my mind, you know. Then you enter a room and I still think I made you up, but I'm happy to see you, and that's the important thing." I laughed at his silliness and he gestured for me to sit, bringing my coffee over. He was humming to himself, truly content. He got a stool out I'd never seen before and set it near the stove. A green pan followed, along with eggs, bacon, a small potato, and bread.

"Want to come watch, Valkyrie? I'm sure you'll be suitably impressed." He tapped the stool, and I happily went over to watch. Skulduggery cooking breakfast was simply amazing. He put the bread down in the toaster, then turned the pan on, humming to himself. He put the bacon in, laying the slices down with an experienced hand.

As it cooked he got the potato, already cleaned, and a small cutting board. He diced it so fast and smoothly I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He looked over to make sure I was impressed before getting salt and pepper from an upper cabinet, putting the perfect amount on the diced potatoes. He turned the bacon, then plated it, putting the plate in the oven which I realized was set on low. He put the potatoes in the pan, cooking them in the bacon fat. Then the toast he set to one side. Soon the potatoes were ready and he transfered them to the oven as well, breaking the eggs into the pan.

Skulduggery let them set, covering them and switching off the stove. He turned to me, looking rather pleased with himself. "Surprised?" He asked.

"Very much so."

"I thought you might be. Well have a seat breakfast is up." I sat and he brought the plate over, the most heavenly meal he'd ever served me.

"Skulduggery, this is perfect. Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"The short order cooks in that dreadful diner you like so much. I watched them the first time we were there. I already knew about toast, so the rest seemed fairly easy. I did of course subject myself to some instructive videos on a Sanctuary library computer. I didn't even know they had them, to be honest. They're for nothing but Internet research, but still eminently useful."

I shook my head before returning to my breakfast. "You're a man of unknown talents, Skulduggery Pleasant."

"I know, I am rather marvelous, aren't I?"

I laughed. "I shouldn't tell you this, but you''re cute when you preen." His smile broadened.

* * *

Skulduggery was a prince among men that day. Tending to me in a way that showed he cared, but didn't make me feel pitied. Knowing he faced the same feelings I did made it easier to let him help. I'm sure he knew of this, because he settled me down on the couch with the radio on and a book to read and told me he'd be back shortly. Fifteen minutes later he returned, laden with papers and other assorted goodies. "I return bearing gifts, in hopes of escaping my lady's displeasure." He teased.

I laughed and accepted a paper. He put a large coffee from the store down, came forward and showed me a bag. "Junk food and a soda. Just the thing for a day in, yes? I called the Sanctuary, no sign of our killer. Ghastly is ready to strangle our detectives, as they have nothing useful to add right now. He is also very concerned over whether or not I'm treating his daughter well, so he'll be waiting for a call from you some time today. Please make it sooner, rather than later so he doesn't come hunting for me."

Skulduggery folded his hands in prayer and tilted his head beseechingly. I had to laugh. I got out my mobile and rang Ghastly. He picked up, sounding pleased to hear from me. "Skulduggery let you know I threatened him, did he? Good. He needs threatened, dragging my daughter into danger every other day. How are you holding up?"

"Good, Skulduggery's helping lots, actually."

Ghastly snorted in amusement. "You mean he can actually be of some use? Honestly. Here, Tanith's taken over my office and she insists on hearing from you."

I heard Tanith yammering at him, then her voice came on. "Hey, sis! What's up?"

"Are you tormenting Ghastly?"

"No, he loves it when I'm annoying. How are things with Skulduggery?"

I knew exactly what she was asking. "Good." I said, not keeping the smile out of my voice.

She squealed on her end. "I knew it, I just knew it! How good?"

"Extremely good."

"I always knew you'd win him over. You should see Ghastly right now with his head buried in his hands. He's so cute when he does that. Talk to you later, sis."

We rang off, and I saw Skulduggery look up from his own paper. "How are your ears? I heard that squeal from over here. God. Women." He shook his head in mock disgust.

"She's very happy. Ghastly's in shock, but she's really happy."

"HE already knew. He just knows how insufferable and excited she's going to be all day. I'm glad you don't get like that."

"I've seen countless family members marry off. It just isn't something to squeal over after the fiftieth time or so."

"Tanith has most likely seen hundreds of weddings and she still gets like that. Please tell me this isn't going to involve a big church wedding."

"Neither one of us attends church, so no. I'm honestly happy with a piece of paper. Well, and a ring, a ring would be nice."

"You're still upset over me smashing your Necromancy ring, that's what you are." He huffed in mock indignation and snapped his paper back up. I turned to my own paper and he spoke again. "No caterers?"

"God, no."

"You don't even want a reception, do you?" He sounded amused.

"You know I hate people making a fuss."

"People tend not to give gifts when there's no reception, Valkyrie."

"Thank God. We really don't need fifty toasters, twenty electric blankets and about a hundred coffee pots."

Skulduggery laughed. "An excellent point. Though Ghastly will be devastated if you don't at least let him make you a dress and give you away in front of a priest. We could do it in his office, if you like."

"How many bones did he threaten to break before you passed on that bit of information?"

"All of them. Repeatedly. You are his daughter as far as he is concerned, and his daughter is going to look like a proper Irish bride on her wedding day."

"For the sake of your bones, I agree." Skulduggery gave a snort of amusement and we returned to our papers. I drank the coffee, and scanned the paper for any signs of our killer. There was nothing, so I read the paper for relaxation, which was lovely. Being spoiled, I decided, wasn't a bad thing every once in a while.

Skulduggery and I were both spoiled of course. Kenspeckle had told me once that I let Skulduggery get away with whatever he pleased, and it was true. But then Kenspeckle also hated my partner, and I didn't like that. I never got a chance to tell him that every time he tried to hurt Skulduggery he hurt me instead. "Mind if I put TV on?" I asked.

Skulduggery nodded. "That station must have only twenty songs and rotate them. Sorry about that." I turned off the radio and idly channel surfed. 'American Ninja Warrior' was on, one of my favorite imports from the States. I laughed and finished my coffee as contestant after contestant got hurt.

Skulduggery came over to watch. "These people are not seriously ninjas, are they?" He asked doubtfully.

"Some are, or they train. You'll see them make it to the end. The course is supposedly designed to reflect all the skills a ninja needs."

"What most of them _need_ is balance. Have they no sense of shame?"

"I told you this show is funny. The original Japanese show is even better. When did you get UPC Ireland by the way?"

"She notices at last. Did you think I just had really good Saorview?"

"To tell you the truth, people of my generation take cable for granted."

"As you should. But the controller should have been a dead give away. Still, if I get to see people hurt themselves like this on a regular basis it is worth it." We continued watching, getting to my favorite, the final round. Two contestants were left, which meant a tight race. Skulduggery shook his head as I cheered them on. "You know, it is impressive, but we could just fly there. Still, I do like to see you champion the people we protect."

"That's very sweet of you, Skulduggery. I always enjoy training with you, so maybe that's why I enjoy the show. That, and it is funny to watch them fall off of things."

Skulduggery gave me an amused look. "Ah, there's the partner I know and love. Standing back with me and laughing at people. I missed that."

"I also haven't punched you in the arm forever either." I gave him a good rap.

"Ow! I'm complaining to Ghastly."

"Go ahead, he'll laugh at you."

"What a mean woman you've turned out to be."

"You need a mean woman. They should have a rule of thumb wives can use on husbands. But we get to use both thumbs, since we're girls."

"Women, and you would beat me too. I regret the day I got you that stick. Do you still have it?"

"Of course."

"You're kidding."

"No, I am not. I kept every gift you ever gave me. I'm well aware you don't give them too often."

"Mmmm."

"You know this isn't all bad, all thing considered. I'll no longer be subjected to an endless round of Christmas dinners, for one. For two, you never get schmaltzy during the holidays."

"Where on Earth did you learn a word like schmaltz?"

"I do read, Skulduggery."

"Ah, I thought you were going to say Saturday morning cartoons."

"No, half the words I learned from them I can't repeat."

"The devil you say!"

"No, apparently one writer for a show kept sneaking in Yiddish words from the 'The Maltese Falcon'."

"Good Lord! I can think of several from that book and I absolutely forbid you to use those words in this house. I don't want to ask, but how did you find out what they mean?"

"The Internet."

"The Internet is rapidly becoming a thorn in my side. Speaking of things I dislike, I understand your Necromancy training went well."

"Skulduggery, you were there."

"Mmm. But I tend to smash your rings, whereas Vile apparently feels the need to empower everything you own. Those guns will only work for you now, by the way, the sword and hat as well. He's quite overprotective of you."

"I know and appreciate it. The feeling is mutual. If that cave so much as looks at him funny it is going to get a beat down."

"This from the woman who told me she ignores him."

"I ignore the Lord Vile that destroys everything he sees. The one who can reason I'll happily listen too."

"And if the destroyer shows up at the hospital, what then?"

"I'll let him destroy the cave, then I'll worry about what to do with him."

"If he hurts you-"

"He won't, Skulduggery, even at his worst. If he does attack I'll be ready for him."

"You do what you have to stop him, agreed?"

"Agreed, but only if he'll stop me if I go on a bender and start slaughtering patients." Skulduggery was silent. I looked over at him, saw the pained expression. "Skulduggery, it will be OK, I promise. I felt Vile at his worst the night in the Sanctuary and I knew I couldn't let him take over. Just the look on your face stopped me." He gave me a faint smile.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, China or Valkyrie. Detectives Tanas and Leap are my OCs though. Val is still 24. Has anyone caught the '28 Days Later' reference in their time frame yet? They're on Day 19, headed into 20, btw. Major Valduggery ahead, a bit lime-ish, the sensitive may want to skip this chapter, you've been warned.

* * *

That night we had the radio playing softly as we lay in bed. I was propped up on one elbow, teasing Skulduggery by stroking his ribcage through his clothing. He groaned and grabbed my hand to stop me. "Knock that off. We agreed to take things slow."

I fell back on my pillow, grinning. "Yes, boss." He grumbled something inarticulate in reply. "How's that?"

"Nothing."

"No, go ahead, I insist."

"I said you would probably like it better if I were your boss."

I laughed. "How do you know I don't see you as my boss?" I teased.

"Stop that!"

"Yes, boss."

"Valkyrie-"

"OK, I'll stop teasing, for now."

"You'll be the death of me, woman."

"Too late."

"Honestly, Valkyrie-"

"Sorry. I don't suppose we can get some training in tomorrow?"

"With me or Lord Vile?" There was an edge to his voice.

"You _are_ Lord Vile." I propped myself up to look at him.

"So you keep reminding me." He made to sit up, but I stopped him with a touch to his arm. I kissed him softly, could feel his clear anger and refusal to return the kiss. It hurt, but I stroked his skull softly anyhow. I could see how very upset he was. "Sorry, Skulduggery. You know I always take things too far."

He sighed, reaching up to grasp my hand in his. "I know you meant nothing by it. I'm just getting the hideous impression that I'm not enough, that you'd prefer him."

I kissed him again, and he responded slightly, but not by much. "You're the one I want to train with. You're my best friend and partner, not him. You know you're more than enough. I'm thinking my idea of accepting both parts of you is blowing up in my face right now."

He winced, then reached up to stroke the side of my face. "No, not in the slightest. But I'm not proud of being Vile, I never will be." He drew my head down, initiating a searing kiss. He pulled me over him, his groans deepening into a throaty growl, until we were flush together and I could feel his ribs and hips supporting my weight. "Valkyrie." He breathed, his strong skeletal hands roaming my body. Then he abruptly sat up, pushing my away gently. "No, not like this. We wait until it can mean something more than this."

I sighed but nodded agreement. He looked tense and miserable and I realized he'd been waiting for a night like this for a long time. I also realized he wasn't about to let it continue. I could feel his frustration and mine as well, but for the sake of our friendship I didn't push things. I rubbed my face with my hands. "I need to go get some coffee, maybe something to eat. You can meditate if you like."

He nodded. "I apologize, Valkyrie. I want nothing more than to be with you, but this is simply too soon. We'll both know when it's time." He gave me a chaste kiss, and I slid off the bed. He followed me downstairs, directing me to sit. "I'll make the coffee. You know, most women would be impressed at my self-control."

"I am impressed and you're right. But you know I don't handle rejection well."

"You handle rejection quite well. You haven't hit me yet."

"I'm seriously thinking about it."

"Mmm-hmm, and what pray tell little dig did you bite back just now?"

"I'd rather not and say we did."

"No, by all means-" He stood, arms folded, looking at me.

"I was going to say 'I bet you didn't worry about that with China.' but I didn't."

"I was never with China, ever!"

"Sorry, sorry. Of course she came on to me as well, so I'd just assumed-"

"That I couldn't resist her, but you could? You _did_ resist her right?" He asked, with a nasty dig.

I looked at him before answering. "Yes, Skulduggery, I did."

"Well, all right then. I'd appreciate in the future if you didn't refer to me as some mindless animal that goes after every woman he sees." His voice was tight, hurt. I got up and went to him wrapping my arms around him and burying my head in his chest. Reluctantly he put his arms around me, and a skeletal hand caressed my hair. "I'm sorry Skulduggery. But I get jealous over you to the point where I can't think straight. China is just such a slu-"

"Language!"

"Sorry. But I hate her, doubly now for what she did to your family."

"I know, but no cause for language like that. Coffee's ready, have a seat. I'll find you something to eat as well."

I sat, looking at him. "I really am sorry Skulduggery. I've just never went that far, and I guess I assume everyone who did has self-control issues."

Skulduggery turned around, a look of surprise etched on his skeletal features. "Then you've never-"

"God, no."

"But I thought- Right. I should take to my own advice. Sorry, Valkyrie."

"No harm done. It's actually funny now, come to think of it. Sorry I accused you about China. Dear God, who did you think I'd been with? He of the stupid hair or the 'Twilight' reject?"

Skulduggery laughed and I swore I could see him blush. "Um, well uh-"

"God!"

"Sorry!" He was definitely blushing now.

"You're cute when you blush." He made another of his chirruping sounds. "You sound like a cat. I've always said you were a cat in a detective suit."

He smiled, bringing over some toast he'd managed to make. "A good suit I hope."

"Yes, a very good suit. Though I'd love to see you in a grey three-piece one like the guy wears at the start of the 'Reminicsing' video."

"That song has a video?"

"Yes, Skulduggery, the song has a video. The Internet isn't entirely useless, you know."

"Mmm, I'll reserve judgment until I see the video."

I took out my mobile and brought up the video, handing it over. "Lord! Look at that hairy chest and gold chain. This makes me so glad the 1970s are over. You're right though, nice suit." He handed back my mobile, a look of distaste still evident on his features. "Finished? I really should get you back to bed. If you want I'll meditate on the chair. Nothing is definitely happening until we're married now that I know-"

"Aw, you take all the fun out of life, but you don't need to use the chair. I'll behave. Until you're meditating."

"Valkyrie!" I laughed and ran up the stairs, Skulduggery hot on my heels. I yelped as he caught me from behind, growling and pulling me flush to him again. I felt his hips grind forward briefly, then he abruptly let me go, a black look on his face. "I'll be meditating in our office, with the door locked." He gave me another look between smoldering desire and exasperation, and left the room.

I fell back onto the pillows, laughing. He returned about and hour later when I had the lights off. He seemed calmer as he nuzzled into me chastely, settling his ribcage half way onto me, and wrapping his arms around me, his skull resting against he head. From the lack of tension in his frame I knew he had calmed himself one way or another, and I smiled into the darkness.

* * *

The next morning Skulduggery was still meditating, snuggled into me tightly. I stroked his skull, in no move to hurry. The my mobile rang. I groaned and sat up to answer it, Skulduggery sleepily rising as well. It was Ghastly, of course. "Valkyrie? I need the two of you in here quickly. There's been a development in the case. I don't want to say anything over the phone, just get here." He rang off and I flipped my mobile shut.

Skulduggery's keen hearing had caught everything and he nodded to me. "All right then. You get showered and dressed. I need a new suit, then I'll get you some coffee and breakfast." He got up without kissing me, and I sighed and got my shower. Under the pounding spray I tried really hard not to think about him in the next room, getting undressed, and failed miserably. I shook my head angrily, got out and toweled off. I dressed quickly, arriving downstairs to get an annoyed glance from Skulduggery. Ah, so he was still in a bad mood from last night.

I didn't say a word, but sat down, feeling the waves of frigid hostility coming from him. I realized then I'd done something terribly unfair, and he obviously felt any solution he came up with was wanting. But it was the only solution I ever got, so it didn't bother me a bit.

* * *

In The Bentley he was still tense, not speaking. I turned on the radio and he snapped it back off shooting me a glare. I sighed. "Be as mad as you want, but if Ghastly sees you like this he'll kill both of us."

He relaxed slightly. Then seemed almost contrite. "Sorry Valkyrie. But men don't like to be left-"

"Unfulfilled?"

"Precisely. I'm mad at myself more than anything for loosing control with you. That shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry."

"I started it."

"No, we both started it. But as your mentor and partner I should have some self-control. After all, you look up to me." He said, rather smugly.

I felt relieved to hear him back to normal and resolved not to tease him anymore. Until after we were married, at any rate. "True, true. I'm still waiting for the day you let me carry a gun."

"You'll keep waiting. You don't need a weapon, you _are_ a weapon."

"Said the cat with the gat."

He laughed. "Nice try. But remember, I got you a stick. I'll get you a sail éille if you want. They were made for hitting people with."

"A what?"

"A shillelagh, God. Good to see you were taught Gaeilge in school. That would be Irish to you. I swear your generation has no pride whatsoever." He flipped the radio on, studiously ignoring me after that.

* * *

Ghastly was in his office, shirtsleeves rolled up to his forearms, and pacing as he barked orders into his mobile. Tanith, now part of the team through his consent, sat on the couch, enjoying the spectacle. Ghastly turned to us. "I don't suppose the two of you remember a detective who quit recently after one of your meetings?" We both looked at the floor, contrite. "Well he's turned up good and dead in the park, along with two other detectives from your team."

Skulduggery spoke first. "What? Just yesterday they had all checked in with me. Or rather I had to call them."

"That was yesterday morning, Skulduggery. By evening those three were found dead. Tanas and Leap were good men. I don't suppose either of you knows what the two detectives were looking into?"

Skulduggery looked at me. _Showtime._ I spoke. "Tanas was working with contacts, trying to hunt down the killer. Leap was assisting him. It was his first case, and they were partnered." Ghastly went a bit pale. I felt ill myself. They were good men, noble men and good detectives. This had been the first case Tanas took a partner on for, and now they were both gone at a mandman's whimsy. "They were killed because they were partners, weren't they?" I asked dully.

Ghastly nodded. "We're hoping it is our killer and the MO is the same for our ex-detective. We think he lured them there. But they, they were different."

"How different?" Skulduggery asked.

Ghastly sighed, and handed over a photo. The two detectives were intact, but clearly frozen. The hearts had been ripped from each of them, and mockingly set on the bodies with one hand curled around them. They other hands were clasped together, a cruel jest about the men's sexuality. I didn't care if they were gay, nobody deserved to be put on display like this. Certainly not Tanas and Leap. Skulduggery interrupted my thoughts. "We keep saying ex-detective. Does anyone here even recall his name? Because I sure don't, and I'm fairly sure it wasn't the one he gave me."

Ghastly blinked. "No, and we have no files on him either. People vaguely remember him, but nobody remembers his name or when he even joined the Sanctuary. It's too late now to know if he used some sort of sorcery, thought the people we have that control civilian memories feel he may have been one of them and convinced all of us he was a detective."

Skulduggery nodded, and seemed to push it all to one side. "Why weren't we called last night?"

Ghastly's jaw tightened. "Because I only found out this morning myself. A jogger found them. We were able to contain the civilians and the jogger now remembers nothing, but it's clear the killer wants magic out in the open."

"So the crime scene's been compromised. Wonderful." Skulduggery said.

Ghastly shrugged. "He's been ahead of us all this time. Valkyrie, I don't like the look on your face right now."

"He knows too much, Ghastly. He knows where our weak spots are, he knows enough details to blackmail people with. That's how our ex-detective got Tanas and Leap out there. I'd wager he's been helping the killer all along, and that's how he got into the Sanctuary. The killer let us believe he was one of us."

Skulduggery whistled. "Nice detective work, that. But Tanas and Leap's relationship was an open secret. I think everyone in the Sanctuary knew."

"But nobody said anything, Skulduggery. Maybe they thought the Sanctuary would separate them or fire them. It doesn't matter that they were gay, it matters that they were together. Erksine would never approve of doing that, but some of the officials just live to enforce rules they don't follow."

Skulduggery nodded thoughtfully. "Or perhaps they were corrupt. Not to speak ill of the dead, but we have to be open to all possibilities. The hearts might be a mockery of hidden agendas."

Ghastly snorted. "I hope they are. The killer can clean out the officials next, and he's welcome to them. Tea?" He asked, looking to first me, then Tanith. We nodded.

I realized she'd been strangely silent and withdrawn and went over to sit with her while Ghastly talked to Skulduggery. "What's wrong, sister?" I asked, sitting down to loop an arm around her.

"Tanas and Leap found like that. I feel bad enough for them, but I thought- We didn't even know which detectives it was at first. Everything was garbled and made no sense. The original report was that it was you and Skulduggery."

"What?"

"I know. I haven't been here long, and I'll admit that, but they think some sort of illusion was set up. Please don't tell Ghastly I said anything. He figures Skulduggery would go in the cave, guns blazing."

"No, he wouldn't. We both know it is most likely the cave we'll have to fight in the end. With our ex-detective doing the work the killer might be barely alive, if even."

She nodded, drew me into a hug. "I just don't want to loose you, Valkyrie. Skulduggery either." She sniffed slightly, then continued. "I have enough problems as it is. Apparently I'm going to be the sister to Ghastly's daughter, which makes him my father. I'm sure not going to be your mum."

We both laughed. "I'm my own grandpa." I offered, and we giggled over that. It was always good to see her. She understood pop culture references that drew a blank look from either of the men in the room.

Ghastly came over with tea, smiling at us. "Good to see you two hard at work." He teased. We took the tea and he went back over to Skulduggery, both men pausing to look at us and shake their heads in mock sadness.

Tanith and I snorted, then turned away. Tanith turned to me, a gleam in her eye. "You know, we really have to do something about the rampant incest in our family."

We both shook with silent laughter. "You think that's bad?" I wheezed. "Now Skulduggery will be your son."

We set our tea down, collapsing in hysterics. Both men turned to frown at us. "Do you two mind? We're working on a case. If you can't be useful go find somewhere in the Sanctuary to have your craic." Skulduggery growled. We sobered quickly. He was clearly in no mood to be messed with.

* * *

We got into the Bentley, Skulduggery looking at me in exasperation. "Seatbelt." He said, tersely. I said nothing and he continued. "I know you two are good friends, but you have to concentrate on the case more seriously, Valkyrie. I'm not trying to scold you, but we have three dead bodies and only crime scene evidence to go on."

"We can't go look at the crime scene?"

"No, Ghastly thought it was a little too perfect, that Tanas and Leap died as bait to lure us there. I agree. Well, nothing to do about it now. How about lunch? Something about that diner and waitress has been bothering me."

"You mean the way you're the only one she completely ignores? At first I thought she was being polite, thinking you were a burn victim or something like that. But she's never once even offered you a menu. She acts like you aren't there, it's creepy. But you're right we should investigate. Though if we have a case file to get to-"

"Nothing as of yet. The whole Sanctuary is falling down around our ears. I wonder, about the waitress, do you think she's a sorcerer? It would explain her knowing not to offer me anything, even if it is a bit rude on her part. I do like to be offered things like everyone else."

"I don't know, Skulduggery. Perhaps she took an instant dislike to you."

"Ah, I have that effect on people. Luckily not with you though."

"True, but with your disguise she shouldn't have been able to tell. Maybe she thought you wouldn't eat in public."

"Mmm. So I'm going to investigate a woman based on her acts of kindness. Wonderful." He said, dryly.

"No, I think you're right. She had chances to talk to me when I got up from time to time, she would talk about the car, the weather, but never you. Though she did mention you as my friend once."

"Yes, but I had the feeling she meant object."

"So did I." I sighed. Skulduggery and I knew a lot of people treated him as sub-human or as a thing, and we both hated it. He did his best to ignore it, and I did my best not to hit people over it. He was, after all, as human as the next man. Maybe the waitress was being nice, or maybe she knew somehow Skulduggery was a skeleton and was showing open contempt for him. But he was right, something about the whole place was off. We'd at least get lunch out of the investigation if nothing else.

* * *

 **Please Note: I am very pro-gay, being pan myself, so no offense was made by having Detectives Tanas and Leap killed off. They were after all, great detectives. Expect poor Valkyrie to remember that in the next chapter.**


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, Wreath, China, Caelan, Darquesse or Valkyrie. Detectives Tanas, Leap, and sweet waitress Reba are mine though. "Sex Bomb' and 'Tennessee Waltz' are songs by Tom Jones. 'Is There Life Out There' is a song by Reba McEntire.

* * *

Skulduggery had suggested seeing the Chevy might draw the waitress out more, so we stopped at Gordon's mansion for Christine. I promised of course not to drive like a total loon, as I knew he still wasn't in much of a mood to be messed with. We had the top up, so when I turned on the mixed CD Tom Jones' sexy growls that started 'Sex Bomb' rumbled through the car, making Skulduggery squirm. I grinned, watching him break after several lines of the suggestive lyrics and reach for the knob to turn off the player. I batted his hand away.

"Don't touch my stereo, Skulduggery."

He shot me a miserable look. I knew the lyrics were bothering him, so at last I had mercy and switched the CD to the next song. 'Tennessee Waltz' came on and he visibly relaxed. "Well at least that sounds Irish." He commented.

"It should Skulduggery, it's The Chieftains."

"That's a group, is it?"

"I swear- Yes, it is a group, and they're Irish to boot."

"Ah, so there's hope for you yet. Any thoughts on the case?"

"Yes, I'm thinking I failed Tanas and Leap. I just sat back and let you take the lead like always. I should have handled them, Skulduggery, or at least some of the contacts. They were good men, both of them, always friendly."

"I wasn't aware you knew them, to be honest."

"I knew them to talk to them. You don't ever bother with the coffee room, but I'd see them both there. Tanas was so proud of Leap! He'd have done anything for him, and I'm talking about as a mentor and partner. They were, well, they were planning to marry, and now that's not going to happen, and it's all my fault because I dropped the ball."

"No it is not your fault. You didn't just 'sit back' you grabbed our ex-detective's files without even being asked. Frankly, I've always shielded you as much as possible from some of my informants, and still do. I handle the calls and organization because I am the senior partner. Tanas and Leap were _my_ responsibility, not yours, and don't you ever forget that." He fell silent for a while, then continued. "Every detective knows the danger he or she signs up for in our line of work. We all know we might not come home every day we go to work. But we do it because the world would be a far more dangerous place if we didn't. As I reminded you before, evil prevails when good men do nothing."

"Yeah, I saw that in the 'Street Fighter' movie. Or something like it."

"You've never heard of Edmund Burke, have you?"

"Who?"

"Please tell me you're joking. He's one of the great figures of Irish history."

"Uh-"

"God! Well at least you're not driving like you're pixelated today, I'll grant you that."

"I have never been pixie led."

"Oh, _that_ you know, but just about anything useful on Ireland you don't? I wonder if it is too late to put in for another partner." Skulduggery said grumpily.

I looked over at him. "Maybe you should, I just realized you're sitting up front."

"So I can grab the wheel if I have to."

"Lovely, that. Well, almost there. Should I chat her up while you sneak about?"

"That would be most helpful. I noticed some of the other toys in your glove compartment when Ghastly opened it. Mind if we use them?"

"Be my guest. That bug is supposed to have a range of s few miles, ten or twelve, I think. We are going on a stakeout?" I asked eagerly.

"No, but we can find some young detective at the Sanctuary and give them and their mentor something fun to do. Assuming of course these people are harmless. Of course these people won't talk up front unless those customers are in on something- How many of these do you have?" He asked, pulling out five small microphones.

"That's about it. They should all link up to one device, also on that mobile, or they can be separate channels."

"Good, I'll get one into the booth and register, plus one in the mens' toilet, even maybe sneak into the kitchen by pretending to be lost."

"You're having fun with this, aren't you?"

"Yes, yes I am." I smiled at him as we pulled in. The waitress was looking out the window and she smiled and waved at me. I put on a cheery smile and waved back. Inside Skulduggery walked past me, and I chatted up the waitress as I sat.

"Hi, Reba." I said, looking at her name tag. She blushed, then poured my coffee.

"My name's really Rosie, but they all call me Reba here on account of I look kind of like her and love her music so much. You heard any?"

"Yes, and you do look like her exactly in the 'Is There Life Out There' video."

"Thank you, honey." She put a work-hardened hand on my shoulder. "That's one of my favorite songs she's done. Love her show, too. Well look at me, carrying on. The usual, right?"

I nodded. "Be up soon hon." She left, nodding at Skulduggery as she passed him.

He sat, and looked at me. "What was THAT about?"

"We bonded over music. Her real name is Rosie, but she's a huge Reba McEntire fan, so everyone calls her Reba. One of her favorite songs is 'Is There Life Out There' and I think she likes you just fine."

"Ah, I see. You can tell she likes me because she nodded?"

"Yes, and I'll give her a chance to prove it later."

"Oh, goody."

Reba came over with my burger. "Here you are hon. Did you see the new floral print wallpaper in the women's room? Well, it is just the prettiest little bit of fluff you ever did see. Plus they got foamy soap now. Getting right fancy for a diner." She walked away, and I knew very well she wanted me to go see the wallpaper. I strongly suspected there was no wallpaper. I got up and went to the women's toilet, sure enough she came in several seconds later.

"Oh, I didn't want to say anything in front of your boyfriend, hon, but I admire you for being with him." I nodded. "My brother was burned up real bad, and now he sits back in Texas in his trailer all day, refusing to come out. You keep him happy, you hear?"

"I'll try."

"Bless you." She hugged me and was gone.

* * *

We were both quiet on the way back to Gordon's mansion. I could feel Skulduggery was restless and wondered if he wanted me to stay there for the night instead. He must have read my mind, because he looked at me as we pulled in. "Well, if nothing else we have something for a young detective to do that will be fairly boring and fairly safe. We'll just tell Ghastly something seems off, because it still does. But once we're home maybe it will come to me."

I smiled at him and we both went over to the Bentley, Skulduggery look at me over the roof. "You thought I was going to leave you here, didn't you? No, we both have self control, more or less. Plus we do have a case to get to, so consider yourself in training."

"That only applies to men, Skulduggery."

"No, women too, I'm sure."

My mobile rang as I got in. It was Tanith. "Valkyrie?" She sounded hesitant.

"Yes?"

"I hate to drag you both back in, so I'll just ask you. What should we do with the things Tanas and Leap left? They were cleaning out their desks already and just going to throw it all away."

"Don't they have families who will want something?"

"No, neither one."

"I'll take it then, however many boxes there are. Somebody should do right by them."

"OK, thanks. I'll take the boxes to my apartment tonight. Ghastly's too upset to even look at them."

"How will you get them there on your bike?"

"Straps, remember? Take care sis, and thanks. I just couldn't stand seeing their things thrown away like that."

"I know, they were good men, and will be missed. Thanks for saving their things."

We rang off and Skulduggery glanced over as he drove. "That's very nice of you."

"It's the least I can do for them, Skulduggery. There's plenty of room in Gordon's mansion for whatever they left. Id like to think if there is an afterlife they appreciate the gesture."

"There is an afterlife or we wouldn't have Remnants, I think, or ghosts. But I'm sure they will appreciate the gesture. Think of this like having two uncles to watch over you from the other side. How did you know they were getting married if I may ask?"

"Leap told me."

"Ah. Then they trusted and liked you. Here we are, then." We got out and went in, I headed for the couch and plopped down. I hadn't really done all that much that day, but I was worn out. I could hear Skulduggery humming to himself in the kitchen, and soon the aroma of freshly brewed coffee drifted into the living room. It was tempting, but I couldn't move.

"Skulduggery?" I called to him.

"Yes?"

"Are you bringing the coffee in?"

"No, come in here."

"I'm too tired to move." I whined.

"This from a woman who wanted to train today?"

"Please?"

"No, you can just walk yourself in here. Consider it training." I groaned and heaved myself up. Skulduggery smiled at me placidly as I sat wearily in the kitchen. "You didn't do a thing today to be so tired over." He teased.

"I know. I guess the case is just getting to me. That, or I'm pregnant."

"Har har. So, what did Reba have to say?"

"She thanked me for being with you. She thinks you're a burn victim like her brother."

"Dear Lord. Explains why she rarely looked at me. Still, I do want to look into that place."

"I agree. You're right. It might just be civilians having fun doing stuff they shouldn't, but there is something not right about that place."

"That, or we're both paranoid. Valkyrie-"

"Yes?"

"Would you seriously mind if we didn't train today?"

"Of course not. Are you feeling all right?"

"Yes-"

"That means no, coming from you. What's wrong?"

"I suppose the case has me spooked. Ghastly told me something, and it, well, it upset me."

"I know, Tanith told me, too. I honestly don't feel like training either, after hearing that."

"Thank goodness. I thought you might think I was getting soft, not my usual ruthless self."

"You're plenty ruthless when you need to be. Besides, at this point I'm either ready or I'm not, and I think we both need the rest. Not that there isn't fun, fun, fun research we could do once we get a case file."

"We won't have one until tomorrow at least, and your picks seem to be arriving by ox cart. We can do whatever you like though."

"You're bored already."

"Yes."

"What did you do with yourself for the last four hundred years?"

"Spent too much time alone with my thoughts, worked constantly, not meditating for days. Pretty much didn't have a life outside of work, so I'd do several cases at once. But then you came along and I had someone to annoy, which is always fun."

"You had partners before."

"Yes, but they didn't like me much. Plus they were all boys, so they weren't as pretty to look at."

"Lord."

* * *

That evening after a brief lie down (OK, it was several hours) I was trying to relax sedately on the couch while Skulduggery paced. I'd never seen him this agitated before, but I didn't say a word. Finally he turned and looked at me sharply. "Well?" He asked.

"Well what, Skulduggery?" As soon as I said it I realized what he meant. He expected me to go and kiss him because I'd done so the night before. I tried not to think of how spoiled he was becoming and got up and went over to him. He still looked agitated, but when I touched his cheek, he calmed noticeably. I kissed him chastely, and pulled away. He looked at me in disbelief.

"That's it?"

"What do you mean 'that's it'? I kissed you, didn't I?" I growled.

That is NOT how you are supposed to kiss me." He grumbled.

"Picky now, are we?"

" _This_ , is how you are supposed to kiss me." He said, stepping forward to wrap his arms around me and press his teeth down firmly on my lips. He deepened the kiss, setting my soul on fire, and he knew it too. Skulduggery growled deeply as I reached up to stroke his skull, and I could somehow feel the sound vibrate in his chest.

When he at last let me go he looked rather serene. "Mmm, now that you've shown me the proper amount of affection, I'll get you some dinner."

"I'm not picky, something out of the box is fine."

"No, I'll get you some actual dinner. What do you want? I'll order take away."

"Chinese is good." Skulduggery nodded, stepping away with his mobile. He came back to stare at me, the smouldering look from the night before starting to come into his eye sockets. He was growling, and he looked tense. "Now Skulduggery, you said we were in training." I said, backing up a few paces.

"I don't want to be in training. I want you."

"What happened to waiting until it was special?" I squeaked, as he pinned me to a wall with his body.

Oh this is going to be REAL special." He growled. Then he started to laugh hysterically, letting me free. "The look on your face, Valkyrie! That was priceless!"

I punched him in the arm, hard. "Thank wasn't funny, Skulduggery!"

"Ow! Yes it was. That's what you get for that dreadful song you played in the car." He was still laughing twenty minutes later when the take away arrived. But as soon as he held his arms out to me I went to him and was happily enfolded in his embrace. He kissed the top of my head, still chuckling softly. "Sorry, Valkyrie. I shouldn't tease you so much, but that was a rather mean song to play. Did you do it on purpose?"

"Honestly? No, I just about died when it came on, but your reaction was pretty funny. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Pretty soon we'll be married and jokes like that won't work anymore, though we'll have a lot more fun things to do." He purred.

"Tease."

"Indeed. Now come to dinner and I'll tell you about the time I saved a burning orphanage, filled with sweet little moppets that turned out to be vampires. Who had pet zombies. That had pet werewolves. I was quite dashing though."

"That story just gets more unbelievable every time you tell it."

"Now, now, my dearest combat accessory, have I ever lied to you?" That, I didn't answer.

* * *

Later that night I lay in the dark thinking, Skulduggery beside me. I though he had started to meditate when his velvety voice came to me. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"If I ask you something, do you promise not to get angry?"

"OF course. What s it?"

"No, I shouldn't. I don't want to hurt you."

"Go on then." He said softy, and I felt a skeletal hand come to rest on my arm.

"When we were escaping from the Faceless Ones, why did you just give up? You wouldn't even move until China came through and yelled for you."

"I told you I'd never had two hallucinations at once. I didn't think either of you were real."

"Oh. Sorry, I asked, Skulduggery, I didn't want to, but-"

"But you had to know. All those months of being hunted, of seeing people, good people, die around me and not being able to do a thing to stop it did something to me. I had to learn to hide from danger, like everyone else, and that killed me. At points I thought my old life was just a dream, that you were NEVER real. But I'd still hear your voice, see you in a crowd. I'd run to you, and it would never be you. Then, when the people were gone, I'd have hallucinations of you daily. Of you coming to be with me so I wasn't alone. Of the day we'd be together again. So when you did come to rescue me, I thought it was one more cruel joke my mind was playing on me. I ran with you, held you as we flew because I missed you that much. I needed to hold you, to be with you just one more time, even if it wasn't real. I wanted to believe in you in the worst way, to think it was really you I was holding and that my best friend and partner loved me enough to rescue me, but I deserved to be there."

He fell silent, and I knew I had hurt him deeply without meaning to, so I told him the truth, at long last. "Do you know what it was like for me, Skulduggery? Seeing you drug away from me? I wanted to go after you then and there, but everyone said there was no way. They told me to go home to my family because there was nothing anyone could do, let alone someone my age. They expected me not to grieve, to just forget about you, as if you weren't the most important man in my life."

"So I did research, and I trained with Wreath, even when we clearly disliked one another from the start. I hated Necromancy every step of the way, but I felt I needed it to save you. When at last I learned your real skull could act as an anchor so I could get you back home, I did what I had to to track it down. You were angry at Ghastly for letting me talk to Caelan, but I did a lot worse than that looking for your real skull. By the time we were going to open the portal I'd drug information out of more that a few people with my fists."

"But every single night of those eleven months I couldn't sleep, and when I did I had nightmares about you being taken away from me. Every day I stepped forward, but it hurt so much, Skulduggery. I knew I was walking towards you, but it didn't matter. I was also walking away from the day I lost you."

"When I found you at last I thought I was too late. I was going to either stay there with you and die because I didn't want to live anymore, not without you. Or maybe bring you through the gate. It- None of it mattered anymore, not without you beside me." He pulled me towards him then, laying my head upon his chest. One hand buried itself it my hair, and his arm wrapped around me. I felt a tremor pass through his body, then another. I realized that in his own way, he was grieving, crying.

"How come you never told me?" He asked softly.

"I could never find the words, there was never the right time. When you first got back I thought it would be cruel, then later, I just thought it was better not to talk about it. I know when you were shouting at Ghastly you meant him, but I took your words to heart, like you were yelling at me, indirectly. You'd never yelled at me before, and it hurt."

"Bless! And you never complained to me, not even once?"

"Well, I'm complaining now." I joked.

"Mmm. Well you always did complain too much."

"Skulduggery!" I gave him the merest tap on the arm.

"Ow! Elder abuse, I'm filing charges."

"You go ahead if you want to see Ghastly laugh."

"Hmmph. I bet you wouldn't hit Lord Vile like that."

"Skulduggery, if he refuses to give you back, I'm dismantling him piece be piece."

"And we all thought that with Darquesse dead and gone you'd become a peacemaker. Not the kind in your gun belt either. You make me look forward to being married. Though it will take a while for Ghastly to even get started on your wedding dress."

"It's OK, Skulduggery. Just being besides you is enough for now. I keep expecting to wake up and not find you here."

He gave an amused snort. "Says the woman who teases me every day, especially with that dreadful song. Think I'll play that on our wedding night."

"Skulduggery." I heard the blush in my voice.

"Blushing are we? You should blush. But I'll have my revenge, don't you worry." We lay together silently after that, and my dreams were peaceful that night, because he got his revenge in them, and I didn't mind a bit.

* * *

 **Note: If you haven't seen the 'Sex Bomb' video you need to. Just imagine Skulduggery dancing like that, and you'll be laughing all day long. Comedy, just one more service I offer.**


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: I Don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Tanith, Gordon, or Valkyrie. Tanas and Leap are still my boys though. Val is still 24.

* * *

The next morning I awoke well rested. I was laying there wondering if our case files would be in, when Skulduggery appeared in the bedroom doorway. I noted he had on a black suit, one I'd never seen before, and a crisp white shirt. The black tie he wore wasn't his usual style and the whole outfit while stylish, seemed different from his normal self. He had on a black fedora as well, tilted back on his head.

Skulduggery titled his head to look at me, arms folded. "Still abed, on such a fine morning?"

"Yes. Has anyone every told you how much you resemble Frank Sinatra? Because you do, in that suit."

He made one of his delighted chirruping sounds, and I swear he squeezed his non-existent eyes shut in pleasure. "You say the nicest things in the morning, Valkyrie. But our case files await us, so please get up and ready. I'll grab you a coffee and something on the way."

"Just coffee's fine. It's too early in the morning to be hanging out of the Bentley like a dog."

"You don't have to hang out the window. I can give you five minutes to eat in the parking lot. I'm sure you can find a curb to sit on."

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"Of course I am. Now get dressed quickly. I'll expect you down stairs in fifteen minutes, so hurry." He turned and left, and I took out my instant bad mood on a rapid shower and dressing. It felt like I was ripping out my hair as I angrily brushed it after, but it was better than punching him. Skulduggery just couldn't help placing the Bentley above everything else at times and this was one of those times.

But then it clicked why he had dressed the way he did. He looked like Frank Sinatra because I'd seen a photo somewhere of Sinatra in a suit just like that. Maybe with the Rat Pack or on stage but entire outfit was his effort to please me. He'd remembered I liked Sinatra, even though most men wouldn't have. I felt my heart melt for him all over again.

I displaced the water from my hair the best I could, leaving it slightly damp so I wouldn't over dry it, and managed to be downstairs in ten minutes. Skulduggery met me at the foot of the stairs with a hug, and I wrapped my own arms around him tightly in response. He kissed the top my my head, then ruffled my hair slightly. He stepped back displacing a little more water until my hair was perfectly dry, but had more body than usual. I made a mental note to get him to do it more often, wondering how I'd ever been so blind to him as a man as to let him dry all of me after a shower.

* * *

In the Bentley Skulduggery was chipper, and he sat on the curb with me as I scarfed down a quick breakfast. "You know it's nice to be out this early in the morning with you, Valkyrie. We should do this more often."

"I'd like that. Maybe I could make something the night before and take it with us."

"That would work. A park would be much nicer than this parking lot, I think. Finished already? Good. We have a case to get to then. Tally-ho."

"Going hunting, are we?" I asked amused, though excited by his infectious cheer nonetheless. I rose and followed him to the Bentley getting in.

"Of course we are, my dearest combat accessory. But we get to _arrest_ our foxes."

"The fox in the stocks?"

"Clever, that."

* * *

Ghastly looked up as we entered his office then did a double take. "Good Lord, Skulduggery, you look exactly like Sinatra." Skulduggery made an affirmative sound that sounded suspiciously like a purr, then nodded happily. Ghastly shook his head then gathered the two case files he had for us. "I had an endless amount of fun convincing them to get two copies to us, I swear the whole Sanctuary is grinding to a halt." He grumbled as Skulduggery stepped forward to take them.

"Sit." Ghastly said. He looked at me. "Tea?" I nodded and sat, wondering what exactly was going on. Normally Ghastly couldn't wait to get us out of his office. I noticed Tanith's absence and cringed inwardly. Now I could see he hadn't slept and I worried it wasn't just the case keeping him up. When he glanced distractedly towards the sofa then winced I knew something had happened. I realized too that's why he wanted us there, but he wasn't going to say anything unless I asked.

"Ghastly, how bad was it?" Skulduggery spoke first, his voice gentle.

Ghastly shook his head. "I don't think I'm the right man for her. She said things."

He looked over at me, his eyes silently asking me to call anyhow. I nodded and dialed Tanith's number.

"Hey, sis what's up?" Her voice sounded forced.

"Nothing much. How's Ghastly?" I asked.

"Oh, he's fine. He was just here a little while ago."

"Really?"

"No, not really. Look we had an argument. I don't think you'd understand, about adult things. He just won't move fast enough."

I snorted. "Been drinking Lovegate's tea? Because you don't sound like yourself."

"Yes, I do." She retorted.

"No, you don't. This is EXACTLY how you sounded the last time you drank her tea."

"I did not."

"Then repeat the last thing you said to him to me." I said calmly.

"You're not moving fast enough, maybe I better find a man who can use what God gave- Oh, God, did I seriously say something like that to him?"

"Oh, yes, you did."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to!"

"I'm not the one you should apologize to."

"But he won't take my call, not after what I said. Oh God."

"You sound like a character in a bad romance novel. He's sitting right here, wondering just what he did wrong, when you and I both know he did nothing wrong. You're lucky he's such a gentleman, Tanith. He respects you, he loves you, don't you get that?"

"But, what I said, he won't talk to me."

"Let's test your theory." I handed my mobile to Ghastly, motioning for Skulduggery to join me in the hall. He didn't have to be told they needed privacy. I heard Ghastly talking softly into the mobile as I gently closed the door.

I looked over at Skulduggery, and he looked away. "I think something's wrong with her, Skulduggery. Something was in that potion, it had to be. We need to get a Sanctuary doctor to look at her, or somebody who might know what she was given."

He nodded. "But you aren't acting like that. Ghastly told me what she said. I agree it must be the potion, but it still hurt him."

"He loves her, Skulduggery. He's hurt right now, but he'll forgive her, and once she's well again they can start over."

"Mmm. You aren't, you don't-"

"Waiting for you will be worth it, Mister." He smiled at me and held out his arms to be held. I went to him, enjoying the feeling of his ribs pressed up against me. We parted and the door opened. Ghastly had a faint smile on his face as he handed back my mobile. He had tea waiting for me and I accepted it as we sat.

From his continued smile I figured things were on the mend, but I knew it was a private conversation. He looked at us then gestured to the files Skulduggery still held. "There's not much, I'm afraid. But that's all we have. We know know that the hearts came from the body of the other victim. He took something from the ex-detective like he did before, and I think Skulduggery was right. We found, well, bite marks."

Skulduggery nodded. "The longer he spends in that cave, the more of his essence it takes over. It leaves him just enough to live, but as it consumes it replaces what he was with what it needs. Something driven to consume life like itself, because he does need to eat."

"We knew that before, Skulduggery. What makes it any different now?" Ghastly asked.

"The cave is aware." Skulduggery said. "It's using him to bring itself victims. But it can't read his mind or his memories or it wouldn't be luring the Sanctuary, from what we know it likes to hide, to attack by surprise. Our killer, what's left of his personality is rebelling in a sense. Defying what the cave would instinctively avoid to lure us in. He knows he's dying, and he wants one last chance at us. I suggest we don't give it to him. He may attack the cave in frustration, I'm almost sure he will. He still has some of his power perhaps enough to weaken it before his death. That would give us the advantage."

Ghastly agreed. "There's no way to send anyone in there without them getting killed, that's why the killer wants us there. He's choosing to stay to lure us in, so I'd say he's killing himself. I'm certainly not letting anyone from this Sanctuary near that cave. The wards we put up are still in effect, so we don't have to worry about civilians wandering too close. Well then, we're finished here. Skulduggery, could you wait outside a moment, please? I need to talk to Valkyrie."

"Of course." Skulduggery said. Ghastly waited until he was out in the hall and motioned me over to his desk, a broad smile appearing on his face. He took out a sheet of paper and handed it to me. On it he had sketched a wedding dress, perfect in every detail.

"Mine?"

"You like it?"

"Ghastly, I love it!"

"Good. But not a word to Skulduggery, no matter how much he whines and annoys you. Hopefully I can get started on it tonight if no new crises develop. How are you holding up, otherwise?"

"I'm great actually. Having Skulduggery with me helps a lot. It helps knowing you're there for me too."

Ghastly smiled. "I always wanted a daughter as pretty as you. So now I have one. I'm serious, I want you to consider me your father and feel free to come to me if you need me, all right?"

"I think I always have. I always wanted you for a father. I just never said anything."

Ghastly's face softened, and he came around the desk to me. He gave me a brief hug. "I'm serious now, Valkyrie. If you ever need anything, you call me. Or if Skulduggery does something you don't understand, or any reason at all, you call me."

"All right, dad." At that Ghastly hugged me again, ruffling my hair fondly.

"That's right, and don't you forget it."

* * *

Skulduggery looked at me expectantly as we drove home. "Well, what did Ghastly want?"

"Father daughter stuff. He's excited about the wedding."

"He's more excited to be giving away his daughter."

"True. I called him dad and he just about hugged me to death."

"Good. He deserves to be happy, and so do you. He's needed a daughter for a long time, he always wanted children. You need a father in you life, for good, I hope."

"Of course for good. Ghastly's always been like a father to me. Even the first day he met me he tried to protect me, though I didn't appreciate it at the time. But even after that, he's always looked after me. He WAS my father when you were gone. He just never dared to ask me to call him that."

"He didn't ask you now either, I'll wager."

"No, he never would. But I could tell he'd been waiting for me to call him dad and to mean it for a long time. I'm proud to have him for a father, Skulduggery, really." Skulduggery smiled and we drove the rest of the way home in silence.

* * *

We were idly thinking about training that afternoon when my mobile rang. Tanith. "Hey sis, I dropped the boxes off at Gordon's mansion, but where are you?"

"You have to ask?"

"Ooh, right. Well I wanted to let you know I'm going into the Sanctuary right now. I'll see the doctors there."

"I'm glad. Do you want me to come in and be with you?"

"No, Ghastly will be with me. No offense but-"

"All things considered, you two should do this together."

"Yes. Well, got to go, but remember the boxes are here. Bye." We rang off and I frowned to myself. I knew Tanith thought she had ruined things with Ghastly, and right then and there I wished we had a right track her. I trusted her to tell the truth, but I knew what it was like to want to cut and run too.

Skulduggery caught my frown. "What's the matter?"

"Tanith said she is going to the Sanctuary for treatment, and Ghastly will be with her, but what I want right now is to activate the tracer on her bike."

"You think she lied?"

"No I think it is what she wants to do, but won't. I also know it is none of my business, right?"

"Since when has that ever stopped you before?"

"Point taken. Still, it isn't my place to interfere."

"Again, when has that ever stopped you before?"

"True. Still not my place though."

Skulduggery looked at me, exasperated. "You're her sister, it is very much your place to interfere, so do it." I nodded and activated the tracer, watching Tanith's path from my mobile, so far, so good, it seemed.

Skulduggery looked over, curious. "I thought we gave the mobile that reads the tracers to the Sanctuary?" He asked.

"We gave them the one Ghastly knew about. Ever after the Remnants I always make sure to have duplicate ways to trace things."

"Clever girl." He came to sit on the couch beside me attentively watching Tanith's progress. I could see his frown as the bike deviated from the course to go to the Sanctuary. From her new route she was headed away, running from help, and her problems with Ghastly. Call me a hypocrite, but I didn't like that one bit. I dialed her number, not liking the idea of her talking while driving, but I was giving her one last chance. To my surprise her progress slowed on the screen then stopped before she answered.

"What's up? I'm at the Sanctuary now."

"Great! Then you won't mind what will happen next a bit." I toggled the screen, activating a remote lock down of her engine, then sent a quick text with her location. I heard her curse as the purr died away. A few more curses, then she roared into the phone.

"What did you do to my BIKE?"

"How did I do anything to your bike, sis? Besides you're at the Sanctuary now with Ghastly, remember? Who, by the way, since you aren't far from there, will be with you shortly."

"You don't understand."

"I understand you need help, sis, and I'm going to make sure you get it, or Lovegate wins. You hate her, remember? Do you WANT her to win?"

"No, but I tried to run-"

"We all do, but now you can stand and fight. Get her good, sis." I heard the familiar rumble of Ghastly's van pulling up, and the sounds of Tanith getting in.

"When do I get my bike back?" She asked into the mobile.

"When you're cured."

"OK, but if anything happens to her-"

"I know. Ghastly can return for her later, and I'm holding her ransom until you're better. Deal?"

"Deal, and sis? Thanks."

"Don't mention it." We rang off and I sat quietly. She'd been on speaker so I could observe the screen and now Skulduggery craned his head towards me.

"You wanted to run? When?"

"The day you and Ghastly went off together and I had to pick you up, actually."

"A fine partner you are. But I ran off and became Lord Vile so I can hardly complain. The important thing is you stayed and I get to annoy you."

"That it is. Sorry."

"For what?"

"For wanting to run. It just seemed like a really good idea at the time."

Skulduggery pulled me close, stroking my hair gently. "It always does." He said.

* * *

Once Ghastly had called and assured us Tanith was getting treatment as he spoke and that her bike would be fine, we went to our office as Skulduggery insisted on calling it. "But this is your office, Skulduggery."

"Our office, in our home." He corrected, coming to stand in front of me. He took me in his arms and kissed me fiercely, leaving me dazed when he pulled away. "Our office." He repeated, a skeletal finger tracing my jawline. I pulled him in for another kiss and heard his throaty growl of pleasure when I started to stroke his skull. I pulled back, struck with an insight.

"Lord, you're bones are sensitive aren't they?"

"Yes." He growled, pulling me back in, his hands starting to roam restlessly up and down my body. I reached up under his jacket, tracing his sensitive ribs, feeling him jump slightly in surprise. He groaned in encouragement, then pushed me gently away.

"Tease." He said.

"You started it."

"True, but now I'm finishing it. Well, to our case files, then." We sat, and I took a few moments to let the effects of him wear off before opening my copy of the case file. We had very little to go on. The crime scene photographs, a terse statement from the coroner about the findings being preliminary, and the records of Detectives Tanas and Leap.

I looked at their photos and felt my heart lurch, but fought the emotions back down. Falling apart right now wouldn't help them. Finding their killer would. Of course I knew we had to investigate if they were tangled up in something as the blackmail notes had disappeared once again. "Skulduggery?"

"Hmm?"

"I'd like to take the lead on investigating Tanas and Leap."

"I have someone on it."

"Ah. Not trusting my objectivity, then?"

"No, not in the slightest. I need you by my side on the main part of the case. Which these deplorable files tell us precious little new about. I hope that cave DOES eat our killer, and he manages to kill it too. Would make our jobs a lot easier. I don't want to sound pushy, but it would be useful to see their effects-"

"Tanith dropped them off at Uncle Gordon's mansion."

"Your mansion. Well, if you don't mind, seeing as how they are now your property-"

"The case comes first Skulduggery. I never worried about hurting a victim's feeling before, I can't start now."

"Who taught you to be such a fine detective? That's right, me." He grinned, proud of himself and we headed back out to the Bentley.


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Gordon, Tanith, Ghastly, Nye, Lord Vile. Kenspeckle, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, story is still in her POV.

* * *

"Seat belt." He said, as we both settled into the Bentley's warm interior. We were having a rare fine day in Ireland, and the warmth of the car sent me into an almost instant stupor. I lowered the window slightly, feeling the fresh air revive me as Skulduggery drove.

"That was nice what you did for Tanith and Ghastly by the way. Though it makes me wonder what you've installed in the Bentley."

"I didn't have to install anything, you did it for me. I know you can trace the Bentley and have a remote lock down. So if I ever need to find you I can just access my copy of your program. This is where I tell you I attached a Trojan horse to the photos you had me send you from a crime scene once. It's also where you tell me you don't mind since it was done in the name of friendship."

"Mind? I'm flattered. Here I was feeling sorry for myself because you never bothered to track me, and you had. How does it work? A pirated program?"

"Yes and no. I don't have the receiver on your mobile so I have to hope it will be on. The Trojan lets me access your mobile's program remotely."

"Been watching my movements, have we?"

"Always. That wasn't the reaction I was expecting, by the way. You like your privacy."

"But I like that you can know where I am if I ever get lost even better."

"Don't tempt me, Mister. I'll install a tracer on you next. I would have too if you ever wore any jewelry."

"Not in a hat or tie?"

"You change hats, and electronics aren't fond of the spin cycle. You never wear a tie clip so that idea was out as well. Besides I know you like being elusive and your privacy both."

"Ah, too true. Still maybe we can come up with something I'll pretend not to notice. Loosing my mysterious edge would be worth it to know you'd come to the rescue, because let's face it, I need rescued on a regular basis." He said, pulling up to Gordon's mansion.

I leaned over and kissed his bony cheek through the disguise. "But that's why I love you. Do we have enough time to stay for a few minutes? I wanted to see if Uncle Gordon had any insights into the case."

"We have all the time in the world, training can wait."

"Wow."

"I know, I'm getting soft in my old age."

"Never." We got out and collected the boxes, storing them in the boot of the Bentley. I stared at the armour briefly, but didn't feel the same desire I used to to put it on. I still appreciated it, but knowing I did have Skulduggery beside me dampened the need to wear his form to feel him close.

"Thinking of Lord Vile?" Skulduggery teased before closing the boot.

"Lord no. Wool-gathering actually. I'll still wear the armour and be grateful for it, but having you here with me I don't need to."

"The women in your family are wondrous and strange. Well, let's go in then and see what Gordon has to say." We went inside, Skulduggery starting to hum to himself. I realized he was flattered by the truth that he himself was better than the armour ever could be. I felt a pang that my great grandmother had never known that kind of love until after my great grandfather had died, but better late than never I supposed.

Skulduggery touched to door again fondly as we entered. "Skulduggery Pleasant! Don't you dare even look at my door. I know what you have in mind." He laughed, taking me into his arms and kissing me deeply after shedding his disguise. I relaxed into him enjoying the warmth of his embrace. Like all skeletons he tended to be the temperature of the air around him, and he was still warm from the car. I made a mental note to see about a warmer winter jacket for him, as stylish as possible, of course.

He'd always acted immune to the elements, but I knew now that wasn't so. He'd shown countless times he hated getting wet or cold, always passing it off as needing to protect a suit. He'd worn clothes far too thin in winter, just to impress me with his supposed immunity to cold, and must have been miserable the first day I saw him bundled up in the oppressive heat. "Penny for your thoughts? Or coffee at any rate." He said, leading the way into the kitchen.

"I was thinking that now that I know just how sensitive you are we need to get you something warmer for winter, maybe have Ghastly design you something that would work for all temperatures like he did me. My clothes aren't that bad looking. Or at the very least you let Ghastly design you something warmer for winter. I don't want you suffering for fashion's sake."

"I've never said your clothes are bad looking, just not as good as mine. I do have the coat I wore on one of our cases, I can wear that more often if it will please you. Perhaps the trench coat more often as well. Though I honestly don't like covering up my suits."

"Have Ghastly tailor you something if you like, consider it a wedding present. I can think of anything else to get you."

He brought my coffee over. "I can think of something I'd like more." Skulduggery purred in my ear

"You're a terrible man."

"I never claimed otherwise."

"Seriously, what do you want?"

He shrugged. "Other than you? Nothing. Though I'll wager when I shake the priest's hand afterwards he'll have his own ideas if I get even that. I'm wagering he'll say no. Are you certain about this, Valkyrie? You have thought it through? I am dead. I am a skeleton, you know."

"Said the living skeleton who can be healed, doesn't fall apart, and talks. Lord, how he can talk."

"All points in my favor, then?"

"Yes, they are."

I went over to sit in his lap snuggling in close, and he obliged me by wrapping his arms around me and trailing several kisses along my jawline. I felt him hesitate then and pull back. "If you're stopping because you think lips would be better than teeth-" I growled and Skulduggery smiled in reply. He resumed his ministrations, starting to growl softly when I touched his skull. I trailed my other hand down his ribcage and heard a slight moan, but he pushed me away all the same. "Sorry, Skulduggery." I said, getting up.

"Don't be sorry. I just have to maintain some control with you. We agreed to wait, although that idea makes no sense to me right now."

"I told you I was a virgin, remember?"

"Ah yes, then we wait. Come along then and let's see what Gordon has to say." We went upstairs finding my uncle in his main study. He waved a hand at us for silence and finished dictating. He shut off the machine by voice command, and smiled at us warmly. He held out his arms for one of his non-hugs and then shook Skulduggery's hand the best he was able.

I reflected that I had a fair amount of family left, Skulduggery included. Gordon turned to me smiling. "You know the voice-activated electronics you insisted I have are a wonderful thing. I've been getting all sorts of interesting calls and understand congratulations are in order."

I felt the heat rise to my face and he continued. "I always knew you two were right for each other but I never thought Skulduggery was sensible enough to see that."

Skulduggery made an annoyed sound. "Remember who saved your life on more than one occasion, Gordon. You might have a way with words on paper, but God knows you can be insulting in a bar." Uncle Gordon flushed and Skulduggery turned to me. "The man can't fight a lick either, Valkyrie. He always managed to insult the biggest, meanest man he could find in a bar, and I've gotten hit with more pool cues and bar stools that I care to recount."

"Don't listen to him. He loves to tell people how heroic he is. Has he told you about the orphanage yet?"

I noted Skulduggery flushing from the corner of my eye. "What orphanage?" I asked blandly.

"Mmm, he'll tell you one day, trust me." Uncle Gordon of course was teasing. He knew Skulduggery had told me that story countless times. But he and Skulduggery had been the closest of friends and they enjoyed annoying one another. I was happy to see that friendship continue because I knew that like me, Skulduggery didn't make too many close friends.

"Your a very annoying man, Gordon." Skulduggery complained. "Valkyrie's heard that story countless times, she adores hearing it, we both do. But what we want to hear now are your thought on the case."

"Any new developments?"

"Our killer took two very good detectives who will be missed, plus a mole he'd planted in the Sanctuary whom no one will miss. We know that's a trap so we're letting him stew in the cave. Hopefully they will kill one another. We'll know either way in a week if he can live that long."

"He could still come after you, Skulduggery." My uncle pointed out. "We're assuming the cave will be the stronger and be the victor, but I'm starting to have my doubts."

Skulduggery looked at him sharply. "God, you're right. We were assuming he's the victim here, but if it is the other way around, the cave would be just what he needs for that final push towards godhood. I miss getting your insights at times, I should drop by more often, or failing that, kidnap you and keep you in my office."

Uncle Gordon laughed. "I always knew I was good for you. Do two have a date set yet?"

"As soon as Ghastly can finish Valkyrie's wedding dress and find a priest that will step foot in a Sanctuary. The man's not even all that religious, but as Valkyrie is his only daughter, he's insisting on things."

"Good. Well he has the preacher. I do have contacts even though they were surprised to hear from me and I suggested he could move the wedding here. Father O'Ryan is a good man, but he'd be dousing the Sanctuary walls with holy water, even if he knows better."

We talked several more minutes then took our leave. Outside in the Bentley Skulduggery turned to me after adjusting his disguise. "Seat belt. I know you said you're sure, Valkyrie, but I can't give you children, even though I'd like very much to do so. If you are even the slightest bit hesitant, we can call the whole thing off."

"I never thought I'd have to tell you this, Skulduggery, but Nye made sure I can't have children."

Skulduggery cursed. "You never said a word."

"Women are told from a fairly young age that it is the one thing that makes us useful, that makes us women. Somehow I didn't want to tell my best friend and partner I was half the woman I used to be." I tried to keep my voice light and failed.

Skulduggery flinched as if I'd hit him. "I'm so sorry, Valkyrie, I'd have never-" He put the Bentley in drive, falling into a miserable silence. I reached out and touched his shoulder gently.

"It's OK, really. I didn't even realize something was the matter for months after. When Kenspeckle told me what was wrong I was happy, actually. I never thought I'd reach a point where I wanted children. Besides I want some time alone with you first. I'm sure later on there is some kind of magic, isn't there? I know Leap told me he and Tanas planned on using magic for a child of their own."

"There is, but the baby will come out looking exactly like the father."

"That's a problem how?"

"I _am_ a skeleton, Valkyrie."

"And a very handsome one too. I'd be lucky to have a son that takes after you."

"I was hoping for a daughter actually."

"Provided we live as long as the killer we could have one say, every so many centuries. I'm sure we'd end up with one of each."

Skulduggery turned and smiled at me. "That sounds perfect actually. Well, we should put the case first, but if you want training we can do that instead."

"Not on your life. I'm as excited as you are to get to some possible evidence."

"Spoken like a true detective. What a wonderful mentor you must have." He beamed at me, then turned on the radio. We were silent the rest of the way home because my usual line about him not being my mentor wasn't true and he knew it.

* * *

"Cuff links." He said as we settled the boxes in our office.

"Sorry?"

"You could install a tracer in cufflinks. Or find something clever you know I'd carry around with me. That can be my wedding present."

"Ah. Then I have just the thing in mind. Already made actually. What luck are you having with the box from Tanas?"

"None actually. Perhaps as a friend you'd have more insight. You made something already? How long have you been waiting for me to propose?"

I flashed him a smile. "A while, actually."

"Mmm. Well, how about a profile on both Tanas and Leap using thier effects?"

I went to the box for Tanas. ""Well for one thing half of these things are Leaps's as well. He was forever forgetting things and Tanas would collect them just to see how long it took Leap to remember them."

I removed a neatly bundled collection of pens that Tanas had collected, the mobile Leap had misplaced five minutes after getting it, several books on detection, and a few pulp crime novels. "Tanas did this, collected Leap's things because he cared about him as his mentor. He figured Leap just needed time. Of course when Leap would come into the coffee room searching for something he'd lost Tanas would feign innocence. It was funny at times, watching Leap search all around. Then the lost object would reappear precisely in the middle of his desk."

I laughed remembering. "Tanas had Leap convinced that the gremlins who lived in all the office machines came out at night and moved things. So he loved teasing him too, which surprised everyone. Tanas pretty much hated every living thing on the planet, and all the dead ones too as he would put it. Then Leap walked in on his first day, looking lost and bewildered. Tanas told me once that something shifted. Leap should have been one more person to hate, to ignore. But he looked at him and he LIKED him. He wanted to mentor him, and trust me, Tanas wouldn't help an old lady cross the street."

"But back to his box then, sorry to sidetrack."

"Not all all. I'm impressed you knew so much about a man who hated the world. I never met the man, to be honest."

"I still remember the first thing he said to me, the way he greeted everyone new, except Leap of course. He walked up to me, in that rumpled suit and his trench coat on, even indoors. He pushed that battered fedora back and said to me 'I hate you, but I'll still talk to you, just so you know.' I laughed and he glared at me, but for him that was friendly."

Skulduggery shook his head, smiling. "I should get to the coffee room more. I had no idea our detectives could be so entertaining. What else does the box tell you?"

"Well there's his prized possession right there." I took out a clearly much-loved publicity still of Columbo. Skulduggery smiled faintly as I handed it over. I took out a neatly boxed collection of office supplies. "He was as neat as a cat as far as is desk went. A living nightmare to the other detectives because he slept in his clothes at his desk half the time, or in his car. So his clothes were rumpled and he had stubble and his hair would stick out. Until of course, Leap showed up." I took out a leather grooming kit and placed it on the desk.

"After Leap you never saw a finer detective in the Sanctuary, present company excluded, of course. He got a new fedora, always had a change of clothes on hand, he was a changed man. He told me once Leap gave him and excuse to get up every morning."

"I know the feeling. Go on."

I took the last item from the box. "Here's one of the revolvers he loved to collect, so be careful. He most likely had it loaded. I've got dibs, by the way." I placed a .357 Smith and Wesson Magnum on Skulduggery's desk. He gave an appreciative whistle.

"Lovely. You know most women collect shoes or something. I'm fairly sure what you meant to say is you want your mentor to have that."

"Deal if I can have all the contents of Leap's box after the investigation is over."

"Done. Al right then, on to Leap. Now why on Earth did they seal it so tightly?" Skulduggery grumbled, getting a box opener from one of his desk drawers. "Oh." Was all he said looking into the box. Inside was a rat's nest of things Leap had collected.

"Leap never used his desk. He always used this box, and could always find everything he wanted in it too, which drove Tanas to distraction. On coffee breaks detectives would stand around and ask for something and Leap could almost always produce it. Because he not only lost things, he collected things too, every lost item he'd ever found went into that box."

"He told me a detective should always be prepared for everything. So he very proudly presented me with a Nissan emblem once. Told me it might be just the thing to jog my memory some day." I went over to my jacket and dug it out of one of the deep pockets and tossed it to Skulduggery. It was scratched and some of the chrome had chipped off. Skulduggery looked from the emblem to me in a silent question. I shrugged, then smiled. "He was my friend. Any time he got discouraged I could show him that emblem and he felt he'd done me a world of good. He liked giving presents unlike some people I won't mention. So he was pleased Tanas and I kept them. I know for a fact Tanas kept all of his at home."

"Mmm. I've gotten you gifts. You still have them, remember?"

"Yes I do, and I appreciate it. You just don't give on the scale Leap did. I have a whole drawerful of things he found me, but the Nissan emblem was his best gift he gave me, so I always carry that."

"Quality versus quantity." Skulduggery said, handing the emblem back. I put it back and looked at him.

"You sound jealous. You don't have to be, you know. Everyone got gifts from Leap, and everyone kept them. If he'd have ever worked up the nerve to talk to you, he had plenty of things he set aside for you. They're in here somewhere. Ah, right where he said."

I wove my hand in the way Leap had taught me and got a cardboard box out. It was taped shut, and I knew it was meant for Skulduggery first, so I handed it to him. "I kept telling him you'd like him just fine, but he was too much in awe of you to ever approach you."

"I never knew that. But I suppose I am impressive. Still, I wish he'd said something. But the important thing is I know now, of course. You know I usually don't say this, but thank you, to both of you." I smiled and went to stand beside him and he slit the tape and lifted the lid. A soft smile crossed his face at the wondrous collection inside. A small rock, several pens, a dog-eared pulp crime novel, several spent bullet casings, a small statuette worn smooth with time. A pocket watch, that no longer worked, and other things that all made instant sense to you the moment you saw them.

"He was a Giver." Skulduggery said. "It's a rare form of Adept magic. The recipient knows exactly what the gift means and it will turn out to be very useful at some point in the future. I can tell his thoughts and intents behind the gifts, same as you can with the Nissan emblem. Make sure you keep it, and everything else too. These are rare things, perfect gifts." He gave me a brief hug. "Again, thank you, to both of you. Just don't expect to hear it from me on a regular basis."

"You're welcome, from both of us, though don't hold your breath waiting for me to say that again."

Skulduggery made a sarcastic wheezing sound and clutched at his skeletal neck. "Can't breathe-"

I laughed and went back to Leap's box. "Ah, here's some grooming items." I picked them out almost from memory. "Once when you were busy he showed me how to find things in this box. He must have known I'd need to at some point." I put a comb and a stick of Old Spice deodorant on my desk, a broken down toothbrush and an almost empty tube of toothpaste.

Everything else I was able to take out in order and groups too. Desk supplies, things he'd found and kept, the endless packs of chewing gum he needed to have constantly on hand, some instant coffee and creamer, and other assorted things. But I saved the best for last. I knew he would have wanted me to. I took out a book so rare that the only other copy was in Uncle Gordon's private study. I knew Skulduggery had never seen it before and I knew it would drive him to distraction knowing it had existed and he hadn't been aware of it. It was wrapped in buttery-soft leather to protect it, and had a pair of white gloves resting on top. I donned the gloves and undid the ties slowly, treating the book with the same reverence Leap would have wanted.

The signed copy of 'The Gentleman Detective' had a strangely familiar silhouette of a tall and thin detective embossed on the black leather cover, one hand raised to the brim of a fedora, his trench coat billowing out behind him dramatically. I held it up and smiled to Skulduggery.

He came over, taking it into his hands, not even opening it. He gave me a questioning glance. "I'm teasing, of course it is yours. I have Gordon's copy, in theory at least. That's the only other one in the world, you know."

Skulduggery gave me a tentative smile. "I never knew. I always told Gordon I'd made a wonderful subject for a novel, and he always told me 'no'. How did Leap ever manage to get a copy?"

"You were away of a case and we had a rouge Elemental sorcerer come into the Sanctuary. I was right ahead of him going into the central hall. He had me dead to rights and would have killed me. He'd even got his hands up to launch an attack, but Leap was in the hall and he shot him without hesitation before even the Cleavers could move. Uncle Gordon thought it was the least we could do, considering."

"How did I never hear of this?"

"Leap only asked us for his privacy in thanks. He never wanted anyone to know anything he did. He saved me because I was a detective, and he looked out for his own. He was a remarkable man, a lot like you in that sense. Even though he never knew it, he was a hero in his own right."

"He's my hero, for saving you." At that Skulduggery set the book reverently on his desk and held out his arms to me. He held me for the longest time after, stroking my hair and murmuring his thanks to Leap. Somehow, I knew, Leap heard him.

* * *

 **Told you Tanas and Leap would turn out to be awesome. Don't expect being dead to stop them from reappearing later either.**


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Gordon, Billy-Ray, Tesseract, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, still Val's point of view. 'Stardust' is a standard, done by countless artists. There is some suggestive content ahead, so be forewarned. Oh, I am American so I'm not picking on US citizens here. Well, maybe a little.

* * *

Later that afternoon I sat drowsing in my office chair. I had left Skulduggery to 'The Gentleman Detective' and had my music player out. My earbuds were in, and my eyes were closed, so I didn't even see the skeletal fingers that must have crept up silently. Suddenly the jack to my Skullcandy earbuds was tugged loose, and 'Stardust' poured into the room. I started, fumbling for my player, while Skulduggery laughed hysterically. "You listen to Mel Torme?" He wheezed in delight.

I glared at him. "Only a few songs! 'Stardust' is just nice to listen to. God, Skulduggery!" I felt the heat rise to my face, and he only laughed harder, slapping my desk in amusement.

"My partner listens to The Velvet Fog." He tittered, reaching up a skeletal finger to wipe away non-existent tears of amusement. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"This is not funny." I growled. "Me liking his music is no more strange than me watching 'The Paris Express' to see Claude Rains." I immediately clamped my hand over my mouth as Skulduggery staggered backwards slightly, his mirth increasing.

"Who's been," he wheezed, "such a good influence," his spasms of laughter increased, "on you? That's right, me!" I just buried my head in my hands and at that moment I understood why Ghastly did it so often. The only thing to do now was to wait for Skulduggery's amusement with teasing me to pass, and it was, slightly.

"What I was going to ask you was if you'd like to go to a late lunch at the diner. I'll confess I'm not keen on training right now as I really don't want to bat around the future mother to my children." I got up and went to him, easily entering his embrace. I knew some women would have been disgusted to feel nothing but bone up against them, repelled by his hardness as opposed to the relative softness of human flesh, but I found him comforting, I always had. Skulduggery craned his head down, kissing me softly, one skeletal hand caressing my cheek gently. He pulled back, gazing down at me in utter adoration. He knew how to make up for teasing me, I'd give him that.

"To tell you the truth," I said, settling into his bones even closer, "I don't want to bat the future father of my children around either. At least not until he's given me children, at any rate."

Skulduggery made an amused sound. "Well then, lunch it is. Let's be off then."

* * *

We walked towards the Bentley our arms around each other, and Skulduggery stopped to open my door for me. I smiled at him and I could feel him blush through the disguise. He still wasn't used to me showing him appreciation or affection, and he might never get used it it, I reflected. I remembered to lean across and push his door open, and he gave me a surprised look when he got in. "Seat belt. Wherever did you pick up that kind gesture from?"

"You know, I don't know. I just remember hearing somewhere a woman should do that for the man driving. I guess my mom told me."

He put the Bentley into drive before answering. "I admire the women of your family more and more. I admire you more and more, no offense meant Valkyrie, but you really have changed on this case. You're not so-"

"Self-centered and thoughtless?"

"I was going to say unaware of me in certain ways, but yes. You are more thoughtful towards me, it is certainly true, kind even, though you have always been kindly towards me. You've matured, and yes, you are less self-centered. Taking an interest in the case, becoming my full partner, it is much appreciated." He paused, seemingly unsure as how to go on. "You're also more aware of me as a man, and that is appreciated most of all. I think if you asked me to dry you off after a shower now I couldn't be held responsible for my actions."

I felt myself turn bright red. "Sorry about that, Skulduggery. I was aware I had feelings for you then but I still saw you as my best friend and partner. I didn't see you as a man, not the same way I do now. That must have been awkward for you."

"Oh, I didn't mind too much." He said, a rather devilish note coming into his velvety voice. "I did after all, hide my face form you, but got to see you reflection naked. That was a lot of fun actually, even if I did realize it was seriously malfunctioning."

"Skulduggery! I wasn't even seventeen yet!"

"Well, that will teach you not to prance around naked in front of your mentor, now, won't it? At least not until after we are married. Besides, I'm teasing, I wasn't quite attracted to you at that point, though drying you off after a shower and seeing you naked in bed except for a sheet at times didn't help things much."

"Oh God, Skulduggery. I didn't even realize-"

"I know you didn't. You saw me as 'safe' and I wasn't about to do anything to break that trust, even when I did start to become interested. You really do try the limits of a gentleman's self-control at times, but it gave me a chance to prove I am indeed a gentleman, so I didn't mind too much." I groaned and he patted my shoulder fondly. "I'm much happier these things happened with me than anyone else, you know. So, as awkward as it was, I was rather happy it was me, because I knew I'd never hurt you. I used to wake up suddenly from meditation when I'd think of what could have happened with another, lesser man."

"I was terribly lucky, wasn't I?"

"Indeed you were, but you are luckier still now because you'll have me as a husband. Then I'll get my revenge on you for traipsing around in your all together. Or all the times you managed to get your shirt shredded to pieces."

"Skulduggery!"

He laughed, reached down to turn on the radio. Mel Torme came on, singing scat. "Fancy that." He said, clearly amused.

"You know, I'm fairly sure I listened to him before I met you."

"Of course you did, Valkyrie. At least now you can admit you listen to him."

"Skulduggery-"

He glanced over at me. "I'm not joking. I'd rather you be open about things than skulking around with Dizzy Gillespie albums."

"You know about that?" I slid lower into my seat.

"Oh, yes indeed. You should have seen your head swivel around one day when we passed a cafe and 'Tin Tin Deo' was on. I thought you'd given yourself whiplash."

I said nothing the rest of the way to the diner, and Skulduggery drove on in amused silence.

* * *

At the diner Reba was happy to see us. "Well hello, you two. Sit right on down. The usual, hon?" I nodded. Reba cocked her head at Skulduggery and he shook his head 'no'. She smiled at him and went off for my coffee. It felt kind of odd being there, considering even now a young detective was supposed to be listening in somewhere.

I raised an eyebrow to Skulduggery and he shook his head. Apparently the stakeout had been a bust then, or he'd arranged for them to not listen, or he just didn't care if we were overheard. I'd often wondered how sorcerors could talk freely in public and the truth was, fairly easily. I knew enough not to mention magic of course, and if we did mention a case it must have sounded normal. Skulduggery of course seemed to have other things on his mind. "Still no sign of your picks, we can use mine this evening if you want to practice. I'd also like an excuse to see Gordon, to tell you the truth."

"That sounds great actually. I do want to know he's OK before we do anything."

"He should be. I've been meaning to ask you, after we marry-"

"I'll maintain the mansion and we can visit. I can't see you being happy there. You like your home, our home, and so do I. A man should have his own territory, after all."

"That he should-"

"The mansion will be ours, Skulduggery, not mine, so get that idea out of your head right now."

"When did you pick up the skill of mind reading? Everyone will think I married you for your fortune." He teased.

"If I ever thought that, the roses would look lovely that year." I said dryly.

"My, my. Again with the bone meal. What a fierce woman you turned out to be. How to settle the money situation, then? I don't expect you to pay for anything, clearly, unless I think it is far too extravagant. I'll let you know right now I'll feel free to tell you not to spend anything."

"We leave our accounts in our own names, then? It works for me, and if you even mention a pre-nup I'll kick you."

"Well, it would be wise on your part. How do you know I won't turn out be a bitter divorcé?"

"The father of my children won't be going anywhere soon. Even if I have to chain you in the basement." I growled.

"How you talk! You're serious about children then?"

"Of course! Aren't you?" We paused as my coffee arrived. Reba smiled at us both, then went to wait on other customers.

"Indeed I am, though truth be told, I don't have the greatest track record when it comes to protecting my family." He said it lightly, but I could hear the sting of pain in his voice. The man needed cheering up. Now.

"You were never married to a homicidal, gun-wielding maniac before either. I'm sure the children will be just as mentally unstable as their mother. If anyone breaks in it will be _us_ they have to worry about."

"You were well named indeed, Valkyrie Cain."

"As were you, Skulduggery Pleasant." He beamed at me and the burger arrived. Reba flashed us another smile and refilled my coffee.

"Beautiful day, isn't it hon? You two get out for a nice drive and enjoy yourselves, hear?" We both nodded politely and she beamed at us both before setting the check down and strolling away.

"You know, I'm starting to like that woman." Skulduggery murmured.

"Not every American is bad, Skulduggery."

"I was thinking not every Texan is bad, but yes, that is also true."

"We shouldn't be blaming the great state of Texas for Billy-Ray. I don't think he was born, he hatched."

"Valkyrie!"

"What? He's a total reptile, Skulduggery, I'm surprised he doesn't have a forked tongue."

"Now there's a lovely image. He is cheerful though, you have to give him that."

"I didn't think he picked his name for a ruddy complexion."

"When did we start learning big words?" Skulduggery teased.

"Sanguine isn't that big of a word. I will admit to having to look up Tesseract though. I'm still not sure what he was thinking."

"No, neither do I. He would have been an interesting man to know, if I didn't want to kill him."

"You have that reaction to a lot of people you meet."

"True, I blame the war. Finished? Then let's be off." Skulduggery paid and we walked out the Bentley. "Well, we can have that lovely drive to Gordon's and keep our promise to Reba. I'm just as anxious as you are to explore the locked rooms. Gordon told me once some had been locked ever since he moved in. He just never had an interest in opening them. Strange."

I laughed as we got in. "Not everyone was born with your endless curiosity, Skulduggery."

"Mmm. Seat belt. They should have been. The world would be a much more interesting place if we were all detectives." He pulled out of the parking lot smoothly.

"We'd most likely be out of a job, then."

"Heavens no! We'd still be the best, the rest could emulate our fine example." He made another of his happy chirrups again.

"I like seeing you this jubilant. It suits you."

" _You_ suit me."

* * *

It was late afternoon when we arrived at the mansion, and the Westering sun blazing off the windows was a lovely sight. For a moment the whole house seemed to glow from inside, to be alive. I swore I saw movement of the blinds in Gordon's study. "Skulduggery?" I asked in alarm, already getting out.

He answered as we broke into a run. "I saw it. Open the door, then stay behind me." I did as he asked, biting back the temptation to ask if he wasn't just going to kick it in. The key of course as keys always do at vital times, broke off in the lock. "Stand back." Skulduggery ordered. Gun still drawn he splayed his other hand towards the door, manipulating the air and striking it with enough force that the door exploded inwards. We took the stairs at a run, Skulduggery already calling out to Uncle Gordon.

We reached his study at a dead run, Gordon turning to look at us in surprise. "Where is he?" Skulduggery barked.

Uncle Gordon looked mystified. "Where is who? And what in Heaven's name was that dreadful crash?"

"Where is the person who moved the blinds, Gordon?" Skulduggery demanded.

"Oh, that. That was me."

"But you can't touch anything." I said, confused.

"But I can voice-activate things, Valkyrie. It was your idea I get the room mechanized for my comfort. Oh dear, you both saw the movement and thought I was in trouble, didn't you?" We nodded. Skulduggery holstered his gun. "That's very touching, but you both realize I'm not alive, don't you?"

"It doesn't matter." We said in unison.

My uncle smiled. "Well it's good to know you both care for me. But I suppose the door is a total loss, isn't it?" He sighed. "I thought this would happen so there's an extra one in storage in the closet in the main hallway, several in fact. I'd appreciate it if the two of you went and did repairs now. The sun is setting and you never know what will wander in."

We both went down the stairs, and I tried hard not to laugh and failed. "I don't see what is so funny." Skulduggery grumbled. "You don't have to do all the heavy lifting."

"That's what? The third door you've blown off this mansion, Skulduggery? I think you have a deep-rooted hatred for them. Besides, you know I'm here to help." I sad and he smiled in reply.

We'd reached the closet and Skulduggery reached for the replacement door. "Why don't you get the debris as best you can, Valkyrie, and I'll work on taking the rest of the old door down? I think you'll find a broom in there somewhere."

"Isn't that what manipulating air is for?" I asked skeptically.

"Well yes, but well- Go ahead. Should I stand back? I don't want shards of wood stuck in my eye sockets." He muttered. I gave him a pointed look, then turned back to the ruined mess that was the foyer before Skulduggery had blasted the door. Gently I manipulated the air, gathering debris off the stairs, floor, and even some that had embedded into the walls into one tidy pile.

I smiled at Skulduggery smugly, and he tossed me a look half way between pleased at my progress and utterly annoyed at me having thought of using magic first. He'd set the new door to one side, and now his gloved hands flexed in the air. I watched as the screws holding the hinges unscrewed and came away, then the hinges themselves, the shattered pieces of the door followed them to the pile I'd started. Skulduggery looked at me, gloating.

He used the air to manipulate the new door into place, and installed it as well, all without touching it. He tested it from where he stood, opening and closing it several times, using the air. Satisfied he turned to me smugly. "Now _that_ is air manipulation."

"Lord, you're competitive."

"Yes, yes I am. But you're impressed aren't you? I can tell."

"Yes, Skulduggery, I'm impressed, but we still have the debris to take care of."

"Oh, that." He said. He idly used the air to gather it together, keeping it tightly compressed, and walked it out the back to leave it in the same wheelie bin he'd used when he'd destroyed the door the night I'd met him. The night he had saved my life. He sauntered back in, looking even more pleased with himself than usual. Seeing him, remembering that night, and that he'd come to be the man I was in love with, I went to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Skulduggery returned my affection in full measure, pulling away with a contented murmur.

"Well, let's go see if Gordon has forgiven us for killing his door yet, though he should really be praising us for coming to the rescue." Skulduggery said, ruffling my hair fondly. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and I thought we were going to walk up the stairs together, but his other arm came around me and we rose in the air to land in the second storey hallway. Skulduggery titled his head at me when we landed, making another of his delighted chirrups. "That was fun. Didn't think I'd ever get to do that again, considering."

"Considering what, Skulduggery?"

"Well, you have the armour now, and soon you'll Surge, you won't need me to take you places anymore."

I pulled him into a tight hug. "I'll always need you, Skulduggery Pleasant. Don't you ever forget that. I kissed his temporal bone lightly and I swear the man purred in response. He certainly blinked though I still wasn't sure how.

"Then I'll always be here for you. Though I hope I mean far more to you than a glorified air taxi." He teased.

We walked back to Uncle Gordon's study, and he shook his head at us. "Took you two long enough. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"We want permission to pick the locks on any locked doors we might find in the mansion." Skulduggery said.

"Permission granted, provided one of you will carry me along on this expedition. Valkyrie?"

"Of course, Uncle." I picked up the Echo Stone, cradle, and the wooden disc with the burnt sigil that allowed Gordon some freedom of movement. One of the few nice things China ever did, I reflected.

"Well, which door first then?" Skulduggery asked.

"Kitchen door!" Uncle Gordon and I both responded at once.

Skulduggery tilted his head. "There isn't a door in the kitchen- Oh, the other kitchen, right."

So we made our way there, Uncle Gordon and I speculating on what could be behind it. He was fairly sure there were hidden treasures. Skulduggery snorted in response. "You'll find old kitchen supplies if anything, you both watch."

We reached the door, Skulduggery kneeling down, and motioning me to join him. I put Uncle Gordon's Echo Stone and disc where he could see, and joined Skulduggery.

"Right, then. The inside of any cylinder lock, and that's what we are looking at here, is comprised of pairs of small pins that must all be engaged in a certain way for the lock to open. That's why every key won't work in every lock. A set of pins is missed or pushed too far upwards, and the lock does it's job be refusing to open. With picks, you must manipulate those pins, and open the lock, all of course, without being able to see into the lock to check your progress. It's done by feel, mostly. You'll be using your tension wrench, that's this flat-headed tool, and your pick."

I nodded, showing I was listening, and for once I truly was, though being this close to him and gazing into his face as his velvety voice played with my ears was distracting. Skulduggery continued. "Your tension wrench is going to help offset the plug the sets of pins are keeping in place, plus it helps make a work surface for the pick to maneuver from. My word, you're actually paying attention, aren't you?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Right. Well the top pin of each set must be pushed exactly into the housing. A good locksmith will hear the click as it falls into place. The lower pins will come to rest inside the plug, the shaft where you would insert your key. Manipulate each set correctly and the door opens." I nodded again and he continued. "That's about it, really. You could do what is called raking with a broader pick. In theory it opens the lock faster by being pushed in and pulled back out rapidly, but I've found you still have to figure out which pins it did move, so I do what seems to be the harder method."

"But it has a lot more accuracy, so it is the smarter method, right?"

"Very good, Valkyrie. You were paying attention. Now then, take these. Insert the tension wrench, yes, like that exactly, keep applying pressure, good. Now your pick, the pointed end up, good. Can you feel the pins?"

"Yes."

"Good. Try using the tip of the pick to move the first pin set, can you feel it?"

"I think so. Yes, I've got it. Do I just push up?"

"Yes, but gently and slowly. Good, you'll hear a click when you hit the exact position." We heard a noise, but Skulduggery shook his head. "Not exactly, but a good start. Try pushing more slowly and see if you can feel-" There was a distinct click, and he smiled at me. "Good! Now you only have to repeat the process until every set is moved into position."

It took me almost an hour, but Skulduggery was ever the patient teacher, pointing out when I could go slower or be more gentle. When the plug suddenly rotated I almost dropped his tools in surprise. "Good job, Valkyrie, I'm proud of you! Well then, even though it was your pick, the big mean man with the gun gets to go in first, agreed?"

I nodded, happy to let him lead. "Though I'll most likely be defending you from dust mops or old tins of food." He commented dryly. He still drew his gun and clicked the fingers of his other hand, summoning a fire ball, then nodded for me to open the door. "Well, I'll be." I heard him say in amusement. He holstered his gun, and motioned me forward. He found a light switch and I could see before me a small library filled with books that all looked to be rarities.

Uncle Gordon made a sound of appreciation and I made sure to bring him inside with us. The books all proved to be magical and on subjects so rare or old I knew not even China or Uncle Gordon had ever seen copies. Most were hand-bound and written in flowing script. There were even tightly rolled scrolls stacked on one small shelf. Skulduggery shook his head in appreciation. "We could spends weeks we currently don't have in here, lost among the wonders. But you and I have a case to solve, or at least a bad guy to capture and it is late. Gordon, we'll escort you back upstairs for now. Choose some books if you have the means to read them."

My uncle nodded happily and selected several old books that seemed to be written in Gaelic. I despaired over not having paid much attention to what my reflection had learned and resolved to do better in the future by the language that was my heritage. Some day. We left the mansion and headed home both pleased and wondering what other surprises the locked doors held in store. I fell asleep in the Bentley and woke briefly in our bed, still dressed, Skulduggery's arms wrapped around me. I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep.

* * *

 **I think I got the process of picking a lock correct, more or less. Keep in mind it is a skill that takes locksmiths years to learn. Valkyrie is lucky to have such a good teacher.**


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Tanith, or Valkyrie. Please note: There are several spellings for Cú Sídhe. As far as I know the one I chose is still used in Ireland though you see other spellings as well.

* * *

I awoke later that night, twisting and thrashing in pain. It felt like every part of me was being cut to pieces by a million razors, and all at once. The pain was so intense I couldn't even scream, but my body still thrashed from side to side against my will. I became aware through my haze of pain the Skulduggery was holding me, talking to me. "Valkyrie! Valkyrie, can you hear me?"

"Yes." I managed to hiss out.

"You're Surging. Just hold on, I know it hurts, but just hold on, listen to my voice, that's it. That's right, relax, I'm here. I'm here now." He moved away briefly and the light came on. I shut my eyes at the sudden brightness and could hear him move away. I heard water running, then felt a cold cloth on my brow. I opened my eyes to look at him.

"I think I frightened ten years off your life, I'm sorry." I managed to rasp.

"Yes, I did get frightened, but just because you're in pain. I never know what to do when you're in pain. I can ignore my own, but I can feel yours, if that makes any sense." I nodded, fighting down the pain the movement brought. The pain was still blindingly intense, but Skulduggery's voice and presence were helping.

"God, Skulduggery. I'm going to be useless to you for days, aren't I? What if the killer attacks?"

"Hush now. Yes, You'll be weak, and certainly no magic for the next several days until you recover, but we've always had a plan in place in the event of you Surging in the middle of a case."

"But the cave, the killer. I need to get into my armour, I need-" I tried to sit up and gave a pitiful yelp as my pain doubled. I fell back, defeated.

"Hush." Skulduggery took the cold cloth and began smoothing it over my sweat-drenched face and neck. I realized my hair was plastered to my head and my football jersey was sticking to me. I must have looked terrible, but if Skulduggery noticed, he didn't let on. He cocked his head slightly at me before continuing. "If worst comes to worst, and I don't believe it will, Lord Vile will go into battle himself, and he'll be all the more dangerous because he'll know you're in danger. I don't have to tell you how much of a rage seeing his family hurt puts him in, do I? I didn't think so. He'll vent all that rage in the cave or the killer. It should be most amusing."

"Lord Vile has some serious anger management issues." I teased.

"You tend to bring out the best in him." Skulduggery teased back. "Now if you think you'll be OK, I have some tea I set aside for your Surge. Don't worry Lovegate had nothing to do with it. In the meantime I'll get you one of the leaves Tanith also supplied me with."

I nodded and he left, and came back shortly. I chewed the leaf, feeling much of my pain and nausea leave me. "You know," I said around the leaf, "I get the feeling these leaves are illegal."

"Mmm. Not among us, and they aren't quite the plant you're thinking of. It's just a soothing sedative, non-addictive. Can you sit up for your tea?"

Skulduggery's touch was tender as he helped me sit up. He smiled at me, and held me gently as I drank the soothing tea. It tasted like he had put honey in it, and various spices. It was good, and calming.

"There. Then the worst is over. You'll feel twinges but nowhere near as bad as you would have felt without the leaf and tea. The pain after all, is hardly necessary to the Surge. At least that is the working theory in my family. I spent two weeks in bed during mine, since we only had what we had. The teas helped some but not like what we have today."

"That must have been terrible. I still choose Elemental you know."

"You- You don't have to choose. Part of Vile's gift to you is that the armour will always work for you. It shouldn't of course with you choosing Elemental, but then he was never fond of rules or not getting his own way."

"I like how he thinks."

"He thought you would."

"What abilities will I have now, how am I different?"

"Your abilities from before will be stronger, you may find you have news ones. You are different because you've come into your full power. You were powerful enough before in battle, I wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of you now."

He titled his head at me. "Hungry? I'll bring you something."

"Yes, and I can I get up and get a shower?"

"All right, but be careful. I'm standing outside the door in case you need me." I felt as shaky as a kitten, but he helped me stand and guided me to the bathroom. I managed a quick shower, then belatedly remembered I'd need clothes.

"Skulduggery? Could you throw my clothes in?"

"You want to get dressed?" He sounded surprised.

"I think I'd feel better downstairs, I hate being sick in bed."

"Very well. But your passing up the chance to hear me sing 'Soft Kitty' I'll have you know." He said through the door.

"But I'm not sick." I replied, amused.

The door opened slightly and he handed my clothes in.

"Injured and drugged is a kind of sick."

I paused in dressing. "Skulduggery, have you been watching TV?" I asked, amused.

"No, but I do have Internet access on my mobile. You looked very much like Penny a few minutes ago."

"You do realize," I finished dressing and opened the door. "that makes you my Sheldon, right?"

Skulduggery made a tsking sound. "It makes me no such thing. Well, come along then. Slowly, that's it. Are you sure you're up to stairs? No, hold still." Before I could protest he lifted me into his arms and carried me down the steps.

I nuzzled into him, enjoying the smell of his clothing and the slightest scent of bone. We got downstairs and he set me down gently at the kitchen table, helping me to sit. Skulduggery kissed me chastely on the forehead, ruffling my hair slightly. It was still damp, so his manipulated the water out, again leaving it fuller and softer than usual.

"I need to get you to do that more often."

"Mmm, you'll pick the skill up over time."

"But it is nicer when you do it." He smiled, pleased.

* * *

Once he was sure I could handle coffee and toast Skulduggery led me into the living room, making sure I took more coffee with me. "Now I know you're still hungry, famished even. The next several days you'll be eating more than usual. So let me order some take away for you."

"Skulduggery, it is the middle of the night."

"Yes, and the Chinese you enjoy so much delivers all night." He smiled, flicked on the TV for me, then took out his mobile, walking away. I vaguely heard him talking, but the TV was soothing, and I was soon watching a show on Colt Peacemakers rather attentively. Skulduggery came and sat beside me, wrapping an arm around me and bundling me into him.

He gestured, and the folded blanket from the far end of the sofa came and wrapped around us. I sipped my coffee, and snuggled in deeper. "Skulduggery?"

"Mmm?"

"If I tell you something, something good, you promise not to get annoyed?"

'I fail to see how something good would annoy me, but yes, I promise."

"There was a book I glanced through in the library we found, on living skeletons."

"Ah, then I'm not a rarity, then?"

"No, I still think you are, but there's magic in it that would enable you to do things if you wanted to, I think."

"Such as?"

"Well I didn't get a good look at it, but there was magic to allow you to eat. As far as I can tell the magic in the book involves me be willing to help you, but that's a given." I felt him shift slightly and turned from the TV to face him.

"Are you serious? This isn't a joke of some kind, is it, Valkyrie?"

"No, not unless the book itself is a joke, but it sounded serious."

"You'd do that for me? Help me eat again?"

"Of course I would."

"I wonder where the food goes." He mused.

"The book said it is just gone, I think. You'd be hungry though, but not for any biological reasons."

"Mmm. I'd appreciate that very much if it could work. Our grocery bill would double, but I'd love to be able to eat with you. Though I will be content to just watch you eat if it doesn't work or you change your mind. The book sounds, well, suspiciously like love magic, to be honest. I'd have thought you had enough of that."

"Lovegate never practiced love magic, she practiced, well, hate magic isn't a word-"

"It is now, but you're right. She specialized in curses, disguised as love magic. You know, I'll be terribly spoiled if you go through with this, even more so than now. Also, if I recall correctly, I can put away my own weight in food. I never liked to eat alone, either."

"Sounds fine by me. I've noticed some men are like that. It must be your hunter-gatherer instincts kicking in."

"I think it is. We killed the vicious box of take away and want to share the repast, proving what mighty hunters and good providers we are."

I laughed softly, and finished my coffee. "Did you ever go hunting?"

"Of course. When I was alive it was a much more vital skill than now. I was rather fond of rabbits and wild boars, the occasional fallow deer, and fishing for salmon. I'd like to do that again some day, if you have no womanly objections to me shooting the small and furry among us."

"You can still hunt the deer, but I think animal conservationists would frown on boar hunting. Though if there are enough out there to hunt now they are an invasive species, so feel free to blast away for the good of Ireland."

He laughed. "I will at that. Ah, food's here, no don't move." I waited as he paid, then returned with several cardboard boxes, each brimming with take away containers.

"Skullduggery!" I said, highly amused.

"I told you you would be hungry. Just stay there I'll bring you something."

"I can eat in the kitchen."

"Nonsense. Here, pepper beef, and I took the liberty of ordering you sodas. You need the sugar." He handed over the box of food and a Coke. I dug in, and he was right, I was famished. I think it was a family-sized portion, but I inhaled it quickly. Skulduggery looked pleased. "You take after me. I finished off a whole hare on my own my first meal after my Surge. Pleased my older brother to no end since he liked hunting with me. Him getting to bring back game was even better. Cooked it himself too, wouldn't even hear of letting my mother near it." Skulduggery smiled gently at the memory.

"He sounds like a fine brother. You sound like you tried and eat him out of house and home."

Skulduggery preened. "A good appetite is becoming on a man, or a beautiful young partner going through her Surge. I've never approved of women who eat like birds. Then they languish around all day."

"You have very strong opinions on a lot of things."

"That I do, and I'm always right too."

* * *

Later that afternoon I drowsed on the couch, wrapped in a blanket after Skulduggery had insisted I eat again. I was bored, but far too sleepy to do much about it. He'd also insisted on another leaf and cup of tea when he could see my pain had increased. He looked down at me as he held my head in his lap in amusement. "You are absolutely helpless right now, and quiet too. I like it."

I managed a small growl in reply and he laughed. "Aww, is the warm kitty sleepy?" Then he sang "Soft Kitty' and I fell into a deep sleep. I awoke several hours later, Skulduggery still holding me.

"You kept watch?"

"Of course, you're very vulnerable to magical attack right now. Ghastly knows you'd refuse to be kept in the Sanctuary, so he's trusting me to keep an eye on you, and I called on an old friend to help. Meet Cú Sídhe." I realized I heard a soft panting and turned my head. For a moment my heart stopped, but only for a moment, for even though the massive white hound across from me had glowing red eyes, he also smiled at me in canine greeting.

He came over and softly pressed his muzzle into my hand, then licked my face in reassurance. The Cú Sídhe whined in pleasure as I sat up and scratched behind his red-lined ears. I stroked his shaggy coat, fussing over him, and making sure to tell him what a fine hound he was. "What a gentleman of a hound you are, good Sir." I praised, him, sure to be overly generous. The Cú Sídhe was known to bring death and misfortune just by being sighted, and had a well-earned reputation for tearing people into shreds for rude behavior.

"He likes you. I rescued this particular Cú Sídhe centuries ago. It was a test I think, but he's been a loyal friend ever since. He's as intelligent as you or I am, so feel free to talk to him while I see about your supper."

"Do you want anything, Sir?" I asked my new guardian. He wagged his tail happily in response. Skulduggery nodded, getting up. The Cú Sídhe licked his hand in affection and he scratched the hound behind the ears.

"You don't need to be quite so formal. Valkyrie. Cú Sídhe is as fine a name as any, and he seems to like it. Stay by her side, please, Cú Sídhe." The Faerie hound promptly got on the couch with me, laying his head in my lap. He looked up with his glowing red eyes beseechingly. I smiled and petted his head, eliciting a soft sigh of canine pleasure.

Skulduggery returned with two boxes, and I let Cú Sídhe have his pick. He chose the beef with brocoli, and ate surprisingly daintily, his tail wagging in pleasure. He looked up every so often and I swear I heard him say thanks. "You've made a friend for life now, Valkyrie. You showed him a kindness by sharing your food with him. No offense meant, but I'm pleasantly surprised. You weren't raised around animals, were you?"

"My grandmother lived with Irish Wolfhounds. They aren't the same as Cú Sídhe of course, but she said to always feed any animals you lived with first. She also fed strange animals insisting they were Sìth. In some cases, I guess she was right." Cú Sídhe looked up, wagging his tail happily. He left his meal to come over and lick my face in appreciation. I gave him a piece of the sesame chicken I was eating, and he carried it back to his own box gently, then ate it. He looked up, smiling in gratitude.

"Just never thank him or any of the aes sídhe for anything, ever. They don't like it any more than I do."

"I sometimes swear you are half aes sídhe yourself, Skulduggery."

"I never said I wasn't." I looked up from my nearly finished dinner and he grinned at me. "I'm kidding. I think I do quite well, being human."

"You do at that."

* * *

Cú Sídhe had curled up with me on the couch as I slept again, something Skulduggery assured me was an adorable sight. Cú Sídhe got down happily when I awoke, and we were both ravenous. Skulduggery brought more boxes out and refused any apologies on my part. "You need to eat now, I told you you'd be hungry. I didn't mention the sleeping part because I know you hate being out of commission. The good news is that your pain should be gone for good, but you will still be ravenous and sleepy for about two weeks." He saw my expression and continued. "Don't worry. We have six days until the cave or killer arises. By then you'll be more than ready to face him, and even if you aren't, well, we know what a good mood that will put Vile in. Plus," he continued, " Cú Sídhe has agreed to stay here until you are at full strength again. He'll stay doubly now that you've done him a kindness."

We were both finished so Skulduggery collected the boxes, smiling as Cú Sídhe came over to me again, rearing up to put his massive front paws delicately on my shoulders, and licking my face with soft growls of appreciation. I rubbed his massive chest and neck, enjoying his rumbling growls of pleasure. "You know, Cú Sídhe, we both have to watch over Skulduggery too." I said once Skulduggery left the room. He craned his head down to look at me, and I could tell he understood and agreed.

* * *

When we went to bed that night Cú Sídhe positioned himself at the foot of the bed, sitting in an alert position. "Don't you need to sleep?" I asked him. He looked back, making a gentle snorting sound, and I knew he meant 'no'. I smiled in reply, and he grinned at me, flashing his long canines in delight.

"Does Ghastly know he's here?" I asked Skulduggery.

"Lord no. And don't tell him either. He'd have a heart attack if he knew."

Cú Sídhe gave an annoyed grunt in reply. "He just means Ghastly would be in awe of you, Cú Sídhe. You're such a fine and fierce hound, after all." I said soothingly. He looked back at me, grinning broadly in delight. When I turned out the light a short time later I could see his bright red eyes flash as he looked back at us every so often.

* * *

Next morning I had to walk around Skulduggery as he sat on the floor stroking Cú Sídhe's pure white coat. The Faerie hound's head was in his lap, and he was gazing up at Skulduggery with a look of utter devotion. I shook my head, hoping neither one was getting too strongly attached. Cú Sídhe would have to return to his Mound sooner or later, no doubt, and it wasn't among the nature of any Faerie to linger for long in the mortal world.

I dressed and went out to find the two still sitting together. I decided not to bother them, but headed downstairs, realizing with a start that they had arisen silently and were flanking me. We reached the kitchen and Cú Sídhe herded me into my chair while Skulduggery got my coffee ready. I stroked the massive head on my lap and scratched behind his ears. "You know, Cú Sídhe, I feel a it strange doing this, considering you're wiser than I am, and understand every word I say." He gave a deep grunt in reply and shoved his head into my hand so I'd continue scratching.

Skulduggery turned, amused. "I told him that once and he held me down until I petted his muzzle. He would be nicer to you."

"Then you don't mind and aren't offended?" I asked Cú Sídhe. He grunted a happy response and looked up at me with his glowing red eyes. He let me see, for just a moment the vast intelligence that lurked behind them, then blinked them in ecstatic pleasure as I found the perfect spot behind his ear to scratch. I knew then that he would not even leave my side in the battle against the cave or killer, and that he wanted to stay far longer than when I was better. I realized with a start that I could hear these thoughts coming from him. Not words, but intent.

"Are you- You won't sicken and die outside your Mound for so long, will you?" He shook his massive head no. "You realize both Vile and I are Necromancers. You usually guard the dead."

"He knows you would never willingly harm the dead. You respect me, after all. Vile is getting a free pass both on my and your account, mostly yours. Cú Sídhe has bonded to both of us. But the rules are that as the woman of the house you must grant him permission to stay. I agree with him, that he should stay, but it is entirely up to you."

I turned to Cú Sídhe. "You just want babies to guard in the future, don't you?" I teased. He swelled his chest out with pleasure, and I could feel his joy at my acceptance. Had he been human he'd have hugged me, but he settled for putting one paw in my hand. We shook in agreement and now Cú Sídhe had a new home.

* * *

 **Please note: I'm well aware using Cú Sídhe as a proper name is odd, but you never ask the Good Folk for a name if you're smart. Not that a Cú Sídhe could answer, but still. Also Gaelic is literally my fourth language. I can't speak it and only know about ten words, so have some compassion please.**


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Gordon, Kenspeckle, China, Darquesse, Lord Vile, or Valkyrie. Right then, Val is still 24, story is still in her POV.

* * *

Cú Sídhe had apparently had his fill of mortal food because he turned his head with a disinterested grunt when Skulduggery offered. I looked at Skulduggery and he shrugged, then pulled a box of take away out of the fridge and set it before me. "I think he wants to go out hunting, to be honest. But there aren't a lot of places he could find rabbits unless you are up to going over to Gordon's today to explore the library."

"You're letting me out of the house?" I asked surprised.

"I honestly don't want to, but I can see you getting restless. That doesn't bode well for you living here in the future, you know." He said it lightly, but I could tell he was hurt.

"Skulduggery, it isn't you or the house I find boring, I want to be at work, to be useful. I know, no magic, and no training, but I do want to do something productive. But if you want me on the couch just languishing around all day, that's fine too."

He snorted. "Don't use my own words against me, and you, you're allowed to languish for the next two weeks. Well, except for when we have to face the killer. You can however, admit right now that I am therefore much better than you at resting after the Surge."

"What?"

"I spent two weeks in bed. True, I slept most of that time, but look at you, up already. Bored and looking for something to do. Then again, you aren't a man and you don't have that many responsibilities. As a matter of fact, I can't remember the last time you did something useful-"

"Skulduggery!" He grinned, clearly pleased at my reaction.

"You see the abuse she gives me, Cú Sídhe? Absolutely no respect for her mentor."

"You aren't my mentor!" I growled and Cú Sídhe snorted softly in agreement.

* * *

Several hours later we were in the new library, though Gordon declined to go with us. He'd already abandoned the books and his strange reading contraption to work on a story they'd inspired. Cú Sídhe had indeed gone for a lovely hunt, and Skulduggery said not to be surprised if he didn't return until late that evening. I sat in one of the over-stuffed chairs the new library had, reading the book on living skeletons. Apparently they could be made by Necromancy, but they honestly didn't seem to last that long away from the Necromancer and only one was self-created and fully functional on his own. I didn't think I had to look that far to find him.

Still the writer seemed to assume people who knew living skeletons would want them to be happy, and reassured the reader that being able to do what they did while alive would comfort them. I snorted slightly and Skulduggery looked over from the book he was reading. "No good?"

"No, it's rather useful. I just can't believe any Necromancer would care about anyone but himself."

"Said the Necromancer."

"Point taken. Ah."

"Ah, what?"

"He brought his wife back."

"I see." Skulduggery's voice was stiff, and I could tell I'd once again managed to remind him of his wife. His face was buried in his book so I know he didn't see my wince. I knew he wanted her back, he had to. Suddenly our marriage sounded like a very bad idea. He continued. "So you're assuming Vile will either fail or kill you and I'll need to bring you back, is that it?" There was an edge to his voice and I suddenly realized I was in no position to guard myself if he did loose his temper. _Now where did that thought come from?_ I wondered. I'd never felt helpless around him before and I didn't like it. Still, I rallied.

"No, I'm just wondering how much of me that I assume is me dies off before I become like every other Necromancer on the planet. You think I like being what I am?"

Skulduggery lowered his book and stared hard at me. I could tell he was spoiling for a fight. "So you're saying Vile is something repugnant to you then, is that it?"

I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly before I shouted something horrid back. We both wanted to fight. This wasn't like us. We argued, we teased, we certainly insulted, but we rarely if ever fought. Unless it was over Necromancy. "No, Skulduggery, I'm not. I'm saying I'm confused and frightened of what I'll become. Vile has nothing to do what's wrong with me, in here, and here." I tapped my head and heart respectively, then waved him off. "Never mind."

Skulduggery sighed and closed his book. "Now I'm confused."

"I hate the idea of Necromancy, what I could become, but never you, never Lord Vile. There has to be something wrong inside of me, right? I mean you always made your hatred of my ring fairly obvious."

"Because you had the potential to _be_ like Lord Vile, I was protecting you."

"So you're saying there is something wrong with me, that you saw it, and it's a given one day I'll start killing and never stop?" I was close to tears, but literally couldn't stop myself.

He looked at me steadily. "Is that what you think of Lord Vile? That he's a mindless, soulless killing machine?" The edge was back to his voice.

"No, but I think I am. I think if he's truthful Lord Vile knows that too. I'm trusting him to stop me, to kill me if he has to if I turn, because if I do I won't even see him for himself. I'll just see one more enemy to kill." I said dully.

Skulduggery set his book down, concern written on his skeletal features. "Tell me this is the Surge and missing your family talking. You are far too gifted- You know I know you better than anyone else and I'm telling you Valkyrie I know you won't turn."

"But if something happens to Vile-"

"Hush, come here, that's it." He patted his lap and I obligingly went to him. He took me into his lap, soothing me.

"Lord Vile knows you as well as I do, you know, maybe better, considering. We both know he isn't fond of Death Bringers or whatever title you'd earn for going crazy, and he doesn't see you as that. Being Vile, being the resident expert on homicidal rage and mass murder, he knows you aren't like him."

"True. Even when I was Darquesse he just fought me to a standstill, as many times as he tried to kill me he'd always stop and let me regenerate. He's not stupid, or slow. He could have easily killed me, we were never fully matched."

"True. You fascinated him. But it was never Darquesse who fascinated him, but you. You willingly became Darquesse to fight him, to protect the Death Bringer. Your innate goodness, your willingness to die to protect your enemy fascinated him."

"He has a strange way of showing his fascination."

"I've told you you bring out the best in him. You truly do. The younger Vile would have simply killed you to prove he could. The Vile you fought was fascinated with you, which you should find disturbing to no end."

"But he was you at the same time of course. I mean he is you, but it felt at times like it was more you than him in control."

"Mmm. When I was throwing you through windows, or when I was smashing your brains out?"

"I'm thinking more of when you stopped me from crashing the helicopter."

"Ah, that."

"You do realize you've started referring to Vile as yourself, right?"

"Yes I do, anger management problems and all. Why do you think I felt I deserved to be with the Faceless Ones? I still do."

"Skulduggery! No one ever deserves to be with them, ever!"

"I did."

"So I did the wrong thing by rescuing you?"

"I'm not saying that."

"You said it to Ghastly."

"Yes, and as you're well aware, I killed his mother."

"Yet even he knew you deserved to be rescued, Skulduggery. We all deserve a second chance, or however many it takes. You changed, you brought yourself back. You've earned your second chance repeatedly."

"I have, have I?"

"If you refuse to take it, I might as well quit right now. Let the killer or the cave win then, because there's no point in me trying to make up for the people I've killed either."

"Valkyrie!"

"I'm serious Skulduggery. Half the people I killed didn't even have rights, like Caelan or the other vampires, or the Faceless ones, but what about the fully human ones? I don't get to make up for those, do I?" I was hurt, stung. Even though I knew it was a mistake, I was applying Skulduggery's feelings about himself to me, and right then I wanted to quit. Skulduggery sat silent, so I pressed on. "All those people had families, Skulduggery. To somebody somewhere they were the good guys and I'm the evil one. Do you think I'll ever redeem myself in their eyes? Because I sure don't."

I realized belatedly that instead of hearing me talk about myself Skulduggery had applied my words to himself. He pushed me away, and stood, not looking at me. He spoke so quietly I barely heard him. "You think I'm beyond redemption then? I was always afraid to ask how you really felt. At least you've let me know at last. Cú Sídhe will see to your protection. Vile will see to it that the cave or killer is dealt with. As senior detective I'm relieving you of duty." With that he walked out of the room, and I let him go, too shocked to move. I heard the Bentley start up a short time later and realized he was gone.

Uncle Gordon was sympathetic, to a point. "You admit you applied his feelings about himself to you, used words he directed towards others to hurt yourself. Have you ever asked him how he felt about you rescuing him?"

"Yes."

"Did he ever say he was angry with you?"

"No, he said he hoped I'd rescue him, that he trusted me to. What's going wrong with me?"

"You've Surged, it changes things, emotions run high, for a while. Still two wrongs don't make a right, Valkyrie, it isn't fair for you to use the past to beat him up whenever you feel like it. I know you didn't mean to, but Skulduggery's highly sensitive to you. He looks to you for approval."

"He what?"

"He looks to you for approval, why do you think he left? He felt your words directed at yourself were meant for him. You two are alike to a disturbing degree."

"Oh God. But he won't even take my calls, and I'm not dragging Ghastly into this. I'm fairly certain he'd blame Skulduggery and kill him."

"He would at that. But Skulduggery told me, if I recall, that you two have a rule about calling one another, even after a fight. Keep your phone on even if you're tempted to turn it off out of spite. He'll cool down and ring you. Skulduggery needs you, he'll never wander far."

"I hope you're right." I sighed.

"You don't trust him?"

"I know how some married men like to get revenge on their wives. Sorry! I didn't mean that."

"No, you did, you have a writer's instincts, a writer of Country-Western songs at any rate. But I can tell you Skulduggery's a better man than that. He'll drive until he's cooled off, then ring you." I nodded and left him to his work.

* * *

It was evening, and although a very puzzled Cú Sídhe had returned, Skulduggery hadn't. He still wasn't answering, so I explained to Cú Sídhe what happened. "I'm sorry, Cú Sídhe. We were both looking for a fight, and I guess we got one. If you want to blame anyone, blame me. I could feel Skulduggery wanted a fight as much as I did, I could have backed off, couldn't I?"

Cú Sídhe gave an annoyed growl, and nodded slightly. When I asked if he'd go look for Skulduggery, he just looked at me steadily until I averted my eyes. I wasn't hungry that night, I hadn't eaten ever since Skulduggery left. I was aware I should, but I couldn't and Cú Sídhe and Gordon were in no mood to remind me. I wasn't sleepy either, so I didn't even go to bed. I wandered back into the new library and picked up the book on living skeletons. I'd failed Skulduggery, but I could at least be prepared to help him if he returned. But I wasn't in the room long before my emotions caught up to me and sleep overtook me.

* * *

I awoke hours later, It was about four AM and still no call from Skulduggery. I tried his phone and it was still blocked to me. I tried to activate the tracer, but apparently he'd remembered I could and deactivated it. More likely he'd torn it out. I didn't want Ghastly involved. Skulduggery and I had to solve our own problems. He'd either be back or he wouldn't. Though I knew as long as he felt I didn't think he deserved redemption he'd never return, but he'd never fight me over it, either.

I got up, realizing vaguely that Cú Sídhe wasn't at my side. He'd chosen Skulduggery then, I guessed. I also realized it was a good thing I lied to Skulduggery. I didn't know why at the time, but I'd never told him there was a tracer hidden in the Bentley, in plain sight where he saw it every day. The battery was long-lasting, and didn't even get used much until I activated it at long last. The Bentley was at the Sanctuary. So I knew where he was. He was safe. Not alone either. Tanith was there, so was Ghastly. Who apparently knew better than to call me when Skulduggery was in one of his rages.

I knew by now it was a full-blown rage, like the days he disappeared after learning the truth about China. I knew he felt I had betrayed him as well and I didn't expect him back. Surprisingly, I didn't break down in hysterical tears, mainly because I hated crying, and also because I knew it would be of no use. I was tempted to go to Gordon's office, but I knew he was writing away nicely. Besides, I'd made this mess all on my own and at last I was left with no one to step in and handle it. Knowing there was nothing I could do somehow made it better. Well, not better, but it was where I'd always deserved to be.

* * *

I was lost in these thoughts when I at last wandered up to bed. I lay there still dressed, thinking. I should have run from Ireland the day he and Ghastly had broken down, but at least I still could. I could go to America, start a new life. Maybe even a non-magical one. That would suit me down to the ground and was what I deserved.

"I told you she'd give up! Didn't I tell you that?"

I looked up at the voice as I switched on the light and did a double-take. Detectives Tanas and Leap were leaning against the wall. Surprisingly they looked no different then when they were alive. Tanas, having spoken, looked at me in utter disgust before he continued. "You see this?" He held up the book on living skeletons. "Another present from the late, great Lovegate. Apparently she sold goodies like this to all sorts of folks. You, you just walked right back into her clutches even when I could see you felt it was the same magic. Disgusting."

He held the book up and I watched it burst into flames. Leap looked at me, took pity on me. "Everyone would have seen what they desired most in that book. You saw something on living skeletons because you want to help Skulduggery so badly. The magic used your love to drain you, to start the fight. Hate magic is a very fine word, or words by the way."

His soft gentle voice cheered me, as it always did. Tanas of course, wasn't finished. He looked at Leap and shook his head. "Does she look like she needs a cheerleader right now to you? She's even thinking of leaving Ireland, and over what? A spat?" He turned to me. "I knew you'd give up. I knew you'd cave in. Skulduggery's at the Sanctuary right now with a mobile with a dead battery, wondering why in the hell you haven't called. It would never occur to him to take it out of his pocket and LOOK at it, would it? No, he's just frightening the detectives half to death, and directing the investigation right into the ground, but not that you care."

"He's what?" I asked, unable to keep the smile from my face. He missed me!

"He needs you." Leap said gently.

"He needs a hit in the head, is what he needs." Tanas growled. "Well, what are you waiting for?" He barked at me, "Get over here and take this!" He held up a vial of some sort of strange liquid. I went to him eyeing the vial speculatively. "A gift from Kenspeckle. He said it would relieve the last of your Surge symptoms, you'll be all better, and he also says you couldn't have picked a worse husband." Tanas said gruffly. I laughed, that sounded exactly like Kenspeckle. So I took the vial and drank.

* * *

Twenty minutes later after a hurried meal I parted ways with Tanas and Leap, who had to return from whence they came, and got in Christine. I drove to the Sanctuary, tearing up half the lawn when her brakes didn't agree with me on stopping. I made a mental note to get them fixed and rushed inside. I could hear raised voices coming from the room where we had met the detectives. Well one raised voice, Skulduggery raving at himself, apparently. He was answering himself too, which was never good.

I walked into the room, relieved to see no other detectives were present and cleared my throat. Skulduggery turned and waved airily to me. "Oh, hello, pretend Valkyrie, I'm having an argument with myself. I know you're the pretend Valkyrie because the real one isn't talking to me right now. I'm not taking that too well, as you can clearly see. Always knew I was insane, just never thought I was _this_ insane." He chuckled slightly.

"Your mobile is dead. I thought you had it turned off, I've been trying to reach you and waiting for you to call."

"Of course you have, pretend Valkyrie, and of course the battery is dead." He agreed, taking it out. "But I'll prove to both of us just how insane I am by checking it- Oh, it would appear it is dead."

"You didn't try to call, even once? What about our rule, Skulduggery?" I asked angrily.

"Oh that. When you didn't call I got out of it, that's how it works."

"And who made up that rule?"

"I did, just now and there's precious little you can do about it."

I rubbed my head and sighed. "You realize I'm real then?"

"Yes." He nodded happily.

"Do we have any detectives left?"

"Not really, I relieved them all of duty, I recall relieving you of duty, apparently you don't listen too well. But welcome back, all is forgiven." He said serenely, and held out his arms to be held. I realized then how much he'd missed me, and wondered if anyone in the Sanctuary would ever be on speaking terms with him again. Skulduggery was terrible when he was in a rage, and he always managed to find his opponent's weaknesses and deliver a withering verbal attack.

I went to him and he held me tightly, bringing his teeth down on my lips, firmly, walking me backwards as his embrace tightened and the kiss deepened, pinning me to the wall. I gasped for air and he took advantage, setting his teeth above and below my open mouth, nipping eagerly, his hands roaming. When he at last let me go, he had to hold me upright, and the look on his face was paticularly smug.

"That's what you get for letting me walk away like that, and if you ever do it again when we're married," he paused leaning down to nip my neck, then hovered his teeth beside my ear so his velvety voice could work to its full seductive effect, "you're punishment is going to be," he brought up a skeletal hand to rove up and down my body, "so very much worse." He leaned in to kiss me again, but chastely this time. He pulled away, and I could read the amusement in his hollow eye sockets. His grin broadened and he leaned in again with a velvety purr. "Mmm. Missed you." His arms went around me again, and he nuzzled into my neck.

"I missed you too, Skulduggery. Do we even have jobs left?"

"Not really, Ghastly fired me hours ago. I got tired of arguing with the empty room about the case, so I started in on myself."

"Oh Skulduggery." I caressed his bony cheek and he pressed his head into my hand, craving my affection. "Skulduggery." I brought my other hand up and the look on his skeletal face was one of rapture. I was leaning in to kiss him again when a masculine voice cleared itself. I jumped and turned to see Ghastly standing in the doorway.

"I wondered why he got so quiet. If you can keep this lunatic on a short leash, he's welcome back on the case. Think you can manage that? Tea?"

"Yes and yes." We followed him to his office, Skulduggery far too serene for his own good and I knew he hadn't done anything wrong from his own point of view. I knew better than to apologize for him too, or he'd start up all over again.

Ghastly put the water on to heat, then turned back and sat down with a weary sigh. He looked terrible and I realized he hadn't slept. He looked at me and spoke. "To catch you up, Tanith's well on the mend, and I at least know the material I'm going to use for your wedding dress, but I haven't left the Sanctuary yet. I would have tonight since Tanith is resting nicely, but of course this imbecilic lunatic kept getting worse every two hours." He sounded annoyed, but gazed at Skulduggery fondly. I guessed seeing Skulduggery going out of his mind without me was something he understood as a man.

"At least now I'm sure he loves you, but you two are forbidden to leave the house without fully charged mobiles from now on."

"Yes, Elder Bespoke." We chorused.

"I hate both of you right now." He grumbled, getting up to make the tea. I turned to Skulduggery and we grinned at one another. He held out his hand and I took it, accepting my tea with the other. Ghastly shook his head and sat down wearily.

"Tanith's been asking after her sister. I told her you are well, but she insists on seeing you herself. Are you OK? You look like you could use a doctor."

I told them both about book, how it had been one of Lovegate's cursed objects, and my rescue by Tanas and Leap, not leaving out the help from Kenspeckle. Skulduggery snorted in amusement over Kenspeckle's low opinion of him. "Death hasn't changed him a bit. But then, it never changed me either. Still, it explains how you're moving around since I suspect you clearly ignored me about eating and sleeping."

"Pretty much, but my partner and best friend was ignoring my calls. When he didn't call I got out of it, that's how it works."

He beamed at me. "Then I've taught you well."


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Erksine, Tipstaff, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, story is still in her POV.

* * *

Ghastly dismissed us, growling that he needed time to repair the damage Skulduggery had done. Skulduggery of course stared at him innocently. feeling his reaction, which I could tell he knew the second he saw me was based on a misunderstanding, was logical and correct. I shook my head as we walked out to the Bentley. "The bad thing is, I'm no better that you." I sighed. "I think Cú Sídhe left in disgust, though I expected him to be with you."

"No doubt he's the one who brought Tanas and Leap to you and ferried them back. You won't see him again if he doesn't want to be seen. How about breakfast at the diner we took Ryan to? My nerves are shot and I could use the drive."

I caught him in a tight hug before getting in. I wasn't exactly respecting his unspoken rule of letting him initiate affection, but as his arms wrapped around me I could tell he didn't mind. I felt him shiver slightly and realized the chill night wind was getting to him.

"Skulduggery, you need a jacket."

"Mmm? I'll get it out of the boot then, the other hat too, this blue one will clash with the jacket, though the hat will clash with this suit."

"Skulduggery!"

"Very well. Nice driving by the way, I'm sure Erskine will be thrilled to see the lawn like that, and Tipstaff will be absolutely ecstatic." He said, eyeing the damage I'd done to the Sanctuary lawn. Skulduggery walked to the boot of the Bentley, taking out a neatly folded duster and black hat that looked like the kind I wore with my armour, but suited more closely to his sense of style.

He caught my look and shrugged and put them on. "I told Ghastly as long as he was busy he could make me a new set of clothes as well. These are even armoured like yours, believe it or not. Which will come in handy when Tipstaff has a hissy fit over his precious lawn. Well come along then, time to make good our escape." He looked once more at the huge gouges Christine's tyres had left in the muddy earth and shook his head getting in. I laughed and got in with him. "Seat belt." I clicked it and he put the Bentley into drive still shaking his head and muttering in mock disgust about women drivers under his breath.

"Cheer up Skulduggery, I won't have to fish her out of water this time."

"Your brakes let go again? That's it, you are leaving that beast there and I'm having it towed to my mechanic. Hopefully he can destroy it once and for all."

"Well, I know I'll miss her if he does, but you'll have noted from the angle of entry it was the lawn or the Bentley."

"I thought as much. We'll find you something dependable to drive."

"I have something dependable to drive."

"Not that behemoth, you don't."

"No, she's sitting in the second attached garage, covered. She's very dependable though I don't take her out much. I drive much more sedately in her too."

"I'm sure she's some kind of lurid red colour and looks horribly modern and sporty."

"She's ivory and quite the lady."

"Don't say another word, you can show me after breakfast."

"Deal." I knew not to mention our argument until he was ready, so I turned the radio on softly instead, then admired him in his new clothing, which of course is what he wanted. I could also feel his mind whirring, wondering what could possibly be in the second garage and I couldn't wait to see his reaction.

* * *

Breakfast was excellent, though by the way Skulduggery stared at me through the disguise I knew he wanted me to hurry. I half obliged him, but made sure to take my time with the bacon and eggs at points and ignored his sounds of exasperation. Dawn broke, and I could feel his impatience increase. At last I finished, and he led the way to the Bentley, once again opening my door for me. I shook my head and kissed his cheek through the disguise, and could feel the smile that spread on his face. I leaned over and got his door, and he slid in, pleased with himself. "Seat belt. We're feeling rather affectionate this morning. I should take you to breakfast more often."

"I honestly wouldn't mind, though when you cook for me it's even better."

I felt him flush and he waved me off. "Honestly, Valkyrie, the things you say." I could tell my words has pleased him, but he still wasn't used to open praise from me.

We drove mostly in silence the rest of the way to Uncle Gordon's house, though I assured him we didn't need to stop and see the car. Skulduggery was sure we did. His curiosity was at a fever pitch by the time I'd walked him through the first garage. He shed his disguise putting in on the work table beside the connecting door. Even going so far as to remove his gloves, a gesture I'd never seen outside our home. "To check the engine." He said smoothly.

I paused, my hand on the door. "You know, Skulduggery, it _is_ just a car after all, you needn't bother." I teased. He grunted in impatience and I opened the door and flicked on the light. His gasp of astonishment at the covered outline was worth it. I didn't say a word as he looked from me to the covered car and back to me several times.

I walked around him, taking off the cover to reveal the gleaming ivory-coloured 1954 Bentley R-Type Continental. The look of rapture on his face said anything more than he ever could. He ran his hands along her fine body reverently, walking all around her in open admiration. I let him open the bonnet to admire her spotless workings, and he even opened to boot to check the lining. Everything had to be handled and tested. I leaned back against the wall, enjoying his silent inspection. At last he sat himself behind the wheel, perfectly contented.

I got in beside him, and the glance he gave me was beatific. He took one skeletal hand off the wheel to stroke the side of my face gently, a soft sigh of pleasure escaping through his closed teeth. "You approve?" I asked, knowing full well he did.

"What I feel right now goes beyond approval. She's an excellent machine, though I do want my mechanic to look at her as well to be absolutely certain she is safe. Tell my he can scrap that monstrosity that has tried to kill you twice and I'll be the happiest man alive."

"Of course. To tell you the truth, I don't think that car ever liked me much. She also had a fine habit of stalling on railroad tracks."

"Then she dies. This beauty however, will always be dependable, providing you don't drive her like a madwoman."

"No I respect her, she's like the twin to your Bentley so I'd never mistreat her. Though I wasn't sure about her cream-coloured interior at first to tell you the truth."

"It's simply lovely, and you know that's a word I rarely apply to anything. It suits her, it suits you. She's the prefect car for you."

"I know. I fell in love with her at first sight. Of course riding around in a Bentley for eight years before I met her might have had something to do with it. She had a black sister as well, but there was something about her, I think because everyone was looking at her sister more. I felt sorry for her and I swear she looked lonely." I looked away from him, then continued. "But I went over to her Skulduggery and talked to her. I know how that sounds, by the way. Still, I swear she wanted a good home, and no one else wanted her, so I did fall in love. I got behind the wheel and she had me. I swear she wrapped the seat around me. Ignore everything I just said, I'm aware of how insane it sounds."

I looked back at him, expecting him to laugh, but Skulduggery just titled his head. "How many times do I have to tell you to embrace your inner lunatic? Besides I know exactly what you mean. My Bentley is my best friend, outside of you of course, and she always seems to know how I'm feeling. I'm half convinced she talks at times." He smiled, and went on. "I insist you let me get you some upgrades to your lovely companion here. I want to be able to track you as well you know. I assume Tanas and Leap told you where I was yesterday since my mobile was dead, so perhaps a secondary tracer as well."

"Uh, I knew where you were. I was just too dispirited to think you wanted me to come to you. This is the part where I tell you that you should never leave your Bentley outside when you're gone for the weekend, because someone could always slip a tracer into the bonnet ornament. This is also where you say that's OK, since it was done with your safety in mind."

"I'll be- Clever, that. Well done, and I didn't expect a thing."

"So you're not mad I touched your car?"

"No, I appreciate the sentiment. I don't suppose this fine lady is traceable?"

"Indeed she is. She has the same type of mini tracer under her bonnet ornament. They both link back to my mobile, and a secondary one in my office."

"What office?"

"I do write after a fashion, I needed an office for that, and any reports or fun, fun, fun paperwork I might get handed to me."

"I'd like to see that, if you don't mind."

"Not all all, though I'm afraid it isn't exactly the modern style of office you might be hoping for."

"With the owner of a Bentley I wouldn't expect fold out chairs or those dreadfully tacky tables that pass as desks. Well then, lead the way."

We got out at last, Skulduggery helping me to cover the Bentley back up, still pleased to no end.

* * *

Skulduggery was struck speechless a second time as we entered my office. From the massive leather chair, and oversized desk, to the blinds and dark wooden shelves filled with reference books it was everything a detective from an earlier, more opulent era could want. He looked down at the rich deep red carpeting, then over at a second massive desk and smiled. "Expecting company?" He asked.

"Always."

"You do have some of your fortune left, don't you?"

"Surprisingly a lot of it was here, I just needed to stain the wood to a darker colour and bring in the extra desk and chair from elsewhere. Gordon had never liked an office here for some reason and abandoned it, well, he hardly entered it to begin with. We don't know who originally furnished it, truth be told."

"You seem to have hung quite a few guns on the wall, the overall feel, if you'll excuse me for saying so, is very masculine."

"I know, I like masculine design. It feels, safer, I think. More, well, seductive."

Skulduggery gave me a look I couldn't read in response and said nothing at first, settling on a strained response at last. "You're a curious woman, Valkyrie Cain." He'd stiffened and I realized 'seductive' wasn't the best word to use around him. I ducked my head and went to walk past him to allow him to recover, but Skulduggery caught me, gently. I could read the intent on his features and his rather valiant struggle to contain himself. I was seriously tempted to push him over the edge and fall with him, but I knew he'd never forgive me afterwards.

I looked down and away, unable to speak since I hardly felt like denying him, and he stepped back, releasing me with a sigh. He took a moment to recover, then spoke softly. "I suppose we should be getting home, before anything untoward happens. I apologize, I should have better control over myself."

"You did nothing wrong, Skulduggery. Us getting married would be a very bad idea if we weren't-"

He held up a hand. "Please, no more. I'm hardly containing myself as it is, but you'll be safe with me, and waiting for you will have been worth it. I adore you, Valkyrie Cain, I revere you, and although I have little else to offer, waiting out of respect to you is something I can give you." I wanted to kiss him then, to reward him, but it was the very last thing he needed at the moment. So we walked out to the Bentley and rode home in silence.

* * *

I gave him time alone at home, several hours in fact, and it was afternoon when he at last put back in an appearance. He seemed content, as if he'd gained control of himself at last, and he smiled at me. "You know," He said in his best velvety purr, "there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about." He sauntered over to the couch, and I swear I caught a gleam in his hollow eye sockets, but he only grinned at me, apparently having enjoyed stalking me, if only for a brief second. "You haven't even made a fuss over an engagement ring, you know." He said, sitting down on the sofa. "I've actually had one for a time now, but if you aren't interested-" He smiled when I sat forward, doing my best to keep the stupid grin off my face. He produced a ring box from his pocket, tilted his head at me, then put it back. "Clearly you aren't interested." He teased. "So I'll just keep this."

"I'm _very_ interested, Skulduggery." I moved closer, restraining myself from just grabbing at his pocket. He looked at me, and took off his hat, placing it on his crossed legs. He smoothed a skeletal hand over his skull, and I knew the action was deliberate, testing to see if I'd show any revulsion. "Skulduggery-" I couldn't speak, how could I tell him how much I loved him without sounding like one of those stupid greeting cards we both hated? But I had to try. "Skulduggery, and don't take this in the wrong way, but you do know part of your appeal to me IS that you're a skeleton, right? Call me fickle, but I don't know if you'd be as attractive as you are to me if you looked like everyone else. Not that I've ever found any other skeleton attractive before, or do now. They aren't alive, not like you are, and although it sounds stupid, it's the real you that counts, not your packaging as impressive as it is."

I saw him raise his skeletal brows in surprise. "Mmm, I'm still waiting to see if you say that on our wedding night, since having to touch me is another thing entirely." I thought he was serious at first, and opened my mouth to protest, but he brought the ring box back out and smiled at me. "I'm joking, Valkyrie. I'm going to say something, and I'll only ever say this once, but I want you to hear me out before you accept this ring, agreed?"

I nodded.

"Good. Now then, I realized today when you showed me the Bentley, and that in itself was enough, and then your office, how close you've let me come, and I realized too you'd have never let me know if we hadn't become lovers. Or if you did, you'd have brushed it aside, relying on my utter unawareness of what's really going on when I'm around you. I know you never let anyone that close, ever. You aren't built like that, even though you are a good person, you dislike being vulnerable. You've invited me into your home, your one place where you can feel safe, trusting me although I know that, like me, you dislike people being in your home."

He smiled, then continued. "You've changed remarkably over these last several weeks. Had we tried before now to be lovers it would have ended in disaster, so too would have any marriage. But you've changed yourself completely out of how strongly you feel, let me in closer than I have any right to be, and you leave me in utter awe of you. I know now I can trust you, that you won't wander off in boredom, that you will remain loyal to me. I know too you've never judged me or found me past redemption but the fact that you can love me, knowing I am Lord Vile, terrifies me. I don't deserve your love, and I never will. I can never repay you for giving me a reason to live, for remaining at my side all these years, but I intend to try."

"If you will consent to be my wife, Valkyrie Cain, as well as my best friend and partner, I want you to know you won't be bound by a ring or a piece of paper. Those things are meaningless and given all too often instead of love. But I am hoping you will be bound to me because you choose to be. Because you choose me over freedom. If you can agree to that, if you can agree to stay because you want to, not because you feel obligated, if you can agree to be my lover and spouse, the future mother to my children, if you can give me all those things of your own free will because you desire them as well, then, and only then, do I ask you to be my wife."

I leaned forward and kissed, him, but chastely, so he wouldn't misread my intent, my hand resting gently on his as they held the ring box. I brought the other hand up to gently and barely touch his skull and could feel him watching me intently. He was showing an unparalleled level of trust, and he had to be honoured for that. "Skulduggery Pleasant, I've wanted nothing more that to marry you, to be your lover for some time. But until recently I wanted it for selfish reasons, never once considering how you would feel, assuming I'd just get my way since I felt my love for you gave me that right. But loving a person doesn't mean you own them, nor did it give me any rights with you."

"You've been remarkably patient with me, ever indulgent and I know if we had never become lovers you wouldn't have said a word because you're far too much a gentleman to even dare to think I'd be with you, even when it is what I've always wanted. I can't imagine how hard it has been on you, feeling as different as I know you do, waiting to see if I loved you in return. I know you're well aware a lot of women wouldn't be with you, but I'm not them, and frankly, they're stupid. I honestly know I don't deserve you either, but no one ever gets love because they deserve it, or no one ever would."

"If you know you won't be bound anymore than you bind me, if you're aware that the day you'd ever stop loving me or ever want to be free I would at first want to kill you, but would then let you go, then yes, yes, I'll marry you." He smiled softly, and I swore I saw tears glimmer in his eye sockets for a moment. Then he brought out the ring and slipped it on my finger, leaning forward to kiss me as he did. I looked down at the ring, then back at him in delight. It was a silver skull, so like his own that I wondered if he posed for it. The expression on it's skeletal features was only what I could call smug, as if it knew it was destined to be worn.

Skulduggery pulled me forward again, kissing me deeply, his skeletal hands bunching in my hair, and a deep growl emanating from him. He pulled back, looking at me smugly. "I knew of course, that you would say yes. I'm far too dashing and handsome for you to say otherwise."

"You are at that. You know, I do recall you asking before, but I liked this time much better, to be honest."

"I thought you would. You'll note I saved us both the embarrassment of my getting down on one knee. It just doesn't look right out of armour, and I'm not about to go fight in a tourney for you. Nor do I see you giving out tokens of your favour. Funny how men have kept the custom not realizing they are supposed to get the gifts instead. Strange."

"It means they're pledging fidelity as you very well know, but yes, I'm rather glad you didn't. Of course you've gotten a priceless book, a second house and car, plus a second office in the last several days. That's tokens enough, even for you." I teased.

"Still, women should really have to give a gift too. I honestly think they should. The man is pledging his fidelity and gets nothing whatsoever in return."

"Would you honestly like something in return?"

"I would, actually."

I went to my jacket, digging around in the pockets until I found a small object I'd been saving. "Consider this a blow for women's liberation, henceforward, you are my property." I said, handing him a man's silver ring. It was masculine, with a black field surmounted by a silver skull. "It's magical actually, and not from Lovegate before you ask. It sizes up or down to the wearer. I didn't even think to ask you to wear a ring since I thought it might hurt against bone to be honest, but I did get that with you in mind, for what it's worth."

Skulduggery smiled at me, then slipped the ring on. I held my breath, waiting for him to shake his hand in annoyance, or remove it, since it must have felt strange on his metacarpal bone, but he admired it happily. "I know that's rather a unique place to wear a ring, but I think it only accentuates what fine hands I have, don't you agree, Valkyrie? I know after all that my metacarpi hold a strange fascination for you." I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and he grinned in delight. "You're fun to tease. I am however, hoping you admire my distal phalanges just as well, since they are what's going to be all over you on our wedding night. My, you blush quite nicely!"

"Skulduggery!"

"All right my loyal combat, accessory, I'll stop teasing, for now. Did you sleep well, last night? Because I know I didn't meditate. Since we aren't needed at the Sanctuary until everyone stops fussing over nothing, I wondered if you'd like to catch up on some much needed rest? I will be a gentleman and take a chair if you insist, but I'd much rather we be upstairs than down here."

"I slept for several hours, but the kind that makes you feel worse instead of better. I honestly couldn't sleep without you by me."

"Nor could I meditate without me, so I know exactly how you feel. Shall we?" He extended his hand and I took it willingly, letting him lead me upstairs. There was of course coffee waiting for me and the bed was turned down. I turned to him in confusion.

"I took the liberty of getting a coffee pot for our office as well. You'll have to let me know if it tastes just as good."

I hugged him and kissed him softy on the thin temporal process of his zygomaitc bone, that thin and very tempting bone that had space between it and his skull. I moved up and behind slightly to kiss is temporal bone as well. That I knew the names of these bones because of him, and longing to be with him, made me smile. He grinned broadly at me and watched me slip into bed, only hesitating a moment before going around to his side. Still, he cocked his head and waited for me to nod before he got in.

"You realize," He said drowsily, "That I intend to always sleep in my clothes. It's practical for a case."

"It suits you. You'd look strange in anything else. You know if Ghastly would just make me some more clothes I might start doing the same thing myself. It's honestly more comfortable than I thought it would be."

"Then we'll have him make more, though I doubt those will ever wrinkle or look unkempt. Still they do need washed sometime, so we'll have him make you more and you can use the same dry cleaners I do. I think, if you don't mind, you are the type of woman who could do with a few work suits in her closet. They'll present you better as a full Detective of the Sanctuary."

"Mmm, as long as they're double breasted and come with trousers instead of those stupid skirts they put women in, it's a deal."

"Whoever taught you to have such good taste? That's right, me." His hand found mine and we were both soon lost in our own dreams.


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, the Faceless Ones, Lord Vile, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, story is still in her POV. Please note: If you find hunting offensive you'll want to skip this chapter.

* * *

I woke several hours later in the late afternoon to a feeling of warmth and the familiar scent of wool and bone. Skulduggery had apparently rolled over in his sleep, and was still in deepest meditation on top of me. I managed to stifle a giggle, and slid out from under him, grabbing my now cold coffee. He awoke a short time later as I sat in the chair and seemed to realize what side of the bed he was on. He folded his arms around the pillow seeming to breathe in deeply before he laid his skull back down to give me me a contented look.

"Planning another great Irish migration anytime soon, Detective Pleasant?" I teased. He grinned, and blinked slowly at me. Skulduggery lazily turned on his side and crooked a finger at me, inviting me back to bed, his grin broadening. I joined him, and he wrapped his bony arms around me, nuzzling into me. Skulduggery started to nip at my neck, but I pushed him away gently. "We have a case to get to, Skulduggery."

"I'm sure we don't." He pressed in gently to nip at my collarbone. I caressed his skull, then remembered we were supposed to be waiting. He would have to have remembered his virtue when something truly enjoyable was involved. I gave a grunt and pushed him back firmly.

"Yes, a case. That is if our detectives have come back yet after the tongue-lashing you gave them."

"I did no such thing. I merely told them to leave before I shot them all. They left quite quickly too, good lads."

"Skulduggery! You're lucky you didn't get arrested."

"Nonsense. I was having a purely logical reaction to misunderstanding you. It isn't my fault they couldn't appreciate that."

"Tell me this didn't involve drawing your weapon."

"No, drawing is one of the few skills I lack. I did however unholster my gun an point it at random people as they fled."

"You weren't even speaking English at that point, were you? Not that I like the idea of you being upset, but the sight of you roaring something in Gaelic must have been breathtaking."

"Gaeilge, and yes, I _was_ breathtaking. I'm glad you appreciate all the hard work I put in for you, Valkyrie. Being so attached to you is a lot of hard work. They're lucky I couldn't think clearly enough to find my armour, to be honest."

"Skulduggery!"

"I'm joking. The book must have affected me as well. I knew you weren't judging me, but I was helpless to fight against how thinking you were made me feel. But the important thing to remember is I'll all better now and that dreadful book is gone. I knew the idea of my eating again was too good to be true."

"We don't know that, Skulduggery, we might find a way in time if it is what you want. If we can be given children, I'm sure that can be arranged too. How are we not talking about the case? Because we really need to."

"I suppose." Skulduggery sighed and got out of bed. "You were a lot more fun when you had less sense of responsibility."

I smiled and said nothing.

* * *

After making me coffee in the kitchen Skulduggery checked his mobile and contacted Ghastly, but I gathered from his side of the conversation that we still weren't allowed back at the Sanctuary. He turned to me, pleased with his latest bit of news. "Apparently one detective marched in to Ghastly's office and threatened to quit. Ghastly of course told him to if he wasn't man enough for the job. This of course led to all sorts of screeching and hand-wringing, and numerous complaints to Ghastly about emotional abuse and worker's rights, and all other sorts of things. Then of course the man implied Ghastly had no loving mother figure in his life and that's why he had no value for emotions."

"Ghastly punched him, didn't he?"

"Indeed he did."

"Ghastly got fired, didn't he?"

"Not fired, per se, but he is cooling his heels in his shop. Tanith was well enough to go with him, so it all works out for the best. Would you like to go for a visit?"

"I would love to, I've missed seeing Tanith."

"She has also missed you. Quite loudly, apparently. Well, come along then. I'm sure Tanith is going to ask you all sorts of inappropriate questions I don't even want to think about. Ghastly even suggested we come, so they are expecting us. Perhaps we'll get lunch afterwards, unless of course you'd rather I make a quick stop and then amaze you with my cooking skills once more."

"I'd honestly rather see you cook again, if you don't mind."

"I thought as much, it's because I'm so very impressive at it, isn't it?"

"Yes, yes it is."

* * *

Skulduggery asked me to leave the garage open and the key under the mat on the driver's side of the ivory Bentley so his mechanic could pick it up and I agreed. I knew he already loved that car as much as his own, and the loving pat he gave her as we left only reinforced the idea. Inside his own Bentley he sighed happily as he grasped the steering wheel before checking his disguise in the mirror. "Seat belt." He murmured. I complied even though he made no move to put the Bentley in drive. At last he turned to look at me. "This isn't a dream is it? I'm not still with the Faceless Ones and dreaming, am I?"

I hugged him tightly. "No you're not, Skulduggery. You're here with me now, and we're going to see our good friends, one of whom has about as much of a job left as you do. On the plus side, it isn't wartime or Ghastly would have shot the detective for desertion of duty. Tanith and I got some fine men for ourselves, and don't think we aren't aware of it." Skulduggery kissed me through the disguise, and I could feel his smile, I sat back as he turned on the radio and we enjoyed the music on the way to Ghastly's shop. We got there to see the Westering sun reflected off the windows, making the shop seem snug and secure.

Ghastly met us at the door, pulling me into a fatherly hug and ruffling my hair, then shook his head before allowing Skulduggery to pass him. Ghastly brought his hand up and gave Skulduggery a Gibbs slap to the back of the skull, drawing a yelp and an annoyed look. Skulduggery turned around in the hallway, clearly not enjoying the slap as he rubbed his skull after shedding his disguise. "That hurt, and what was that for?" He grumbled.

"Improving morale, my morale feels improved already." Ghastly said, beaming back at me. I laughed and followed him into the shop where Tanith sat snuggled on a couch in one corner. She tapped the seat beside her and I went over, accepting the tea she had ready for me.

"Couch is new, you seem to be a good influence on him." I teased.

She laughed softly and nodded. "He's a good influence on me too, I'm glad you made me go get treatment. Things are so much better now, I don't feel like running any more. I'm actually happy to be here, in one place, with him. He's seriously thinking of stepping down as an Elder, he knows he's not suited to it. I think that's what he's going to tell Skulduggery now."

We watched the two good friends disappear into the back room, closing the door after them. "Man talk." I snorted, bringing fresh laughter from Tanith. I laughed with her, then continued. "I hope he does step down, you two deserve the time together. You don't even have to say how serious things are now, Tanith, I can feel it."

"Very serious." Tanith agreed, bringing he hand forward to show me a golden band with delicate scrollwork. I admired it, realizing a sword had been worked into the pattern. I hugged her happily, and of course she admired the ring from Skulduggery as well. "Am I imagining things, or did Skulduggery have a ring on under his glove?" She asked.

"You're not imagining things. He more or less demanded something in return."

"You're marrying a very strange man."

"But a good one, and so are you, sis."

"True. But he won't spar with me. Says he refuses to hit the future mother of his children."

"Skulduggery's the same exact way. After everything settles down you and I have to start training together."

"Sparring, at your level you aren't training any more. Poor Skulduggery knows as much and he was proud when he told Ghastly. Broken-hearted too of course, since he likes being your teacher."

"He'll always have something to teach me. You should have seen his face when he saw the Bentley."

"You showed him? Good, it is about time you did. I'll never say a word about knowing first. But if you got her out Christine is gone, I'm guessing."

"Yes, she tore up a good chunk of the Sanctuary lawn. I'm not exactly welcome back there right now."

"None of us are, but that's what makes us exciting. Would you like to have a go? I moved all my stuff here when Ghastly invited me and your great grandmother's sword is here. Let's have a go, just some fun up on the roof." She grinned at me eagerly and I nodded, only too happy to go with her. I hadn't fought in what seemed like ages and I missed it.

Tanith led the way to the roof and gave me the sword. We fought lazily, more play fighting than anything, circling around one another. Tanith was very excited to see I no longer blocked with the sword. "I wondered when you'd drop that habit. I wondered too why Lovegate never said anything. I should have known then something was wrong with her. Still, this is impressive. Don't tell me Skulduggery taught you."

"He did actually. He's a far better swordsman than I ever realized." I was telling the truth too since Skulduggery _was_ Vile, but I wasn't sharing that tidbit of information with Tanith when she was armed with a sword. I knew her temper and that she acted before she thought at times. I knew too I'd choose Skulduggery over her and didn't want it to come to that.

We started moving faster as the sun set, the cover of night granting us a certain freedom. Tanith got up on some pipes running the length of the shop, taunting me, to join her. "I know you can't get up here." She jeered. I simply stepped up through the air, then stood in midair right above the pipe, as surefooted as if I'd been on solid ground. I gripped my sword firmly, and nodded at her. Tanith gave me a crooked grin. "Come on and have a go, if you think you're hard enough."

We went for one another at the same time, swords flashing in the moonlight. The fight was joyous, if you could ever call any fight joyous. We spared, blocked and feinted, leaping as easily and agilely as cats and we moved across the rooftop. Tanith laughed and danced away at one point to run up the wall of the roof entrance and I leapt up to meet her. We were playing like this, tumbling back down to the roof, swords abandoned in a friendly tussle when the door to the roof opened. Ghastly just looked down at us as we grinned up at him.

"Most women get together and try on makeup or something." He grumbled good naturedly.

We both giggled and grinned like total gits as we got up, retrieving our respective swords. I handed my great grandmother's back to Tanith. "That was a lot of fun." I told her. "We have to do it again sometime." She agreed and hugged me. I went downstairs to leave with Skulduggery, leaving Tanith wrapped in Ghastly's arms, kissing him deeply on the moonlit roof.

* * *

We drove back home sedately, Skulduggery stopping at a store as promised, refusing to let me see what he'd bought. "I want you to be surprised." He teased, stroking my chin with his gloved hand. Skulduggery was extra attentive the entire drive home, and he ushered me into the living room instead of the kitchen when we arrived. "No coming in before I call you, agreed?" He tilted his head, and I nodded. "I'll get you coffee then."

He brought a cup and went back into the kitchen, telling me I could come back in when he had everything ready. I sat there sipping my coffee, enjoying the sounds of preparation from the kitchen, then he called me and I went in to see yet another new addition on the stove. It was a cast iron grill that covered two of the burners, and he had several steak skewers loaded with thick chunks of steak, sliced peppers and onions, and tomatoes going nicely on them. He basted as he cooked, and soon had the meal ready, some chopped potatoes he'd seasoned and put on the back of the grill on the side.

I could feel his pride as he sat me at the table and was able to present the food to me, and he watched me take my first bite attentively. "Skulduggery, this is amazing! You have to teach me how to cook."

"But you can cook, you do it all the time. I learned how to grill from you, don't you remember? I was visiting for no good reason and you had the grill going. You told me what to put in the marinade, how much, you showed me how to do this."

"But you never touched anything, you have a true gift for cooking, Skulduggery, you honestly do. Most cooks, myself included barely limp through a recipe the first time they try it. Even the best cooks are unsure. But you, nothing phases you."

"Well, I am good at everything I do, so when I wanted to cook at last it makes sense I was this good."

"You never wanted to cook before?"

"I've never minded feeding you of course, I like to. But having to cook to do it always seemed like too much of a bother. I could cook when I hunted of course, but there's hardly a spit and an open fire here. Thought we would get one, couldn't we? You should have rabbit off the spit, Valkyrie, you really should."

I grinned at his enthusiasm. "I like seeing you this excited, Skulduggery, so yes, we certainly could. I could even have the outdoor brick oven and grill moved over from the mansion if you like. I can't wait to see what you can do with a pizza." He preened, and I enjoyed it. When I was finished he happily collected my plate, putting the leftovers away in the fridge. We went to our office, neither one of us interested in TV or just lounging. Ghastly had smuggled what new leads and paperwork he could out of the Sanctuary, so we read over the reports.

It was an odd sensation. We knew our killer, we knew the cave well enough, but the detectives still dutifully searched for any additional information they could find. They still had nothing on the killer, but the cave system was apparently far larger than Gordon's book hinted. There were no reports of cave or killer doing anything, and at five days out both Skulduggery and I were restless for action. We finished reading the reports, batting around the sparse information lazily. "So, we know the cave is bigger than first excpected, but that's neither here nor there until we find out if it means anything." Skulduggery said, and I could hear the boredom in his voice.

"Right. How did you handle the boredom on cases before now?"

"I would call and annoy you, or come visit and annoy you."

"Annoy away."

"Did you enjoy sparring with Tanith?"

"Yes I did, she's fun to be with. Not as much fun as you, but she doesn't mind batting me around." I teased.

"But you two were play fighting, correct?"

"Yes, and it was fun too."

"You realize you handled a sword outside the armour?"

"I what?" I sat up, surprised.

"You didn't even realize it, did you?" He sounded amused. "You have the actual ability now, magical sword or not. I'm guessing you showed other abilities as well. I'd liked to have seen that." Now he sounded wistful.

"Mmm, I did walk up to her through the air, but it just seemed natural."

"You what?"

"I stood in midair too, but I've seen you do it before."

"Do you realize how few people can do that? We'll have to spar then, and soon. I want to see what else you can do, and I mean outside the armour. Do you think you can fly yet?"

"I doubt it. I had to walk up to her and stand on the air. I don't even understand the concept of flying to be honest."

"Then I'll teach you. But only if you agree that when we fly somewhere you let my carry you, I like that."

"Agreed."

* * *

We drove to the field, Skulduggery clearly eager to learn what else I could do. He was as gentle as when he first taught me, barely manipulating any of the elements and he tested to see what I could do. As we continued he curiosity increased, and he shot a fireball at my feet, causing me to leap up and automatically grab onto the air, hoisting myself higher as if a wall had been there. He cocked his head, utterly delighted.

He leapt up effortlessly to stand in midair across from me, walking back and forth, the wind catching his black duster and fanning it out around him. I knew he was using the impressive sight as a distraction, and I stood, ready for his attack. But he merely turned and cocked his head at me. "Flying isn't really so much different you know. It is more about pushing yourself forward as if you were swimming. I don't think you're quite ready yet, but you've certainly picked up a rare talent."

He flew over to me lazily, his head titled to one side in thought. "But can you maintain this with a distraction?" He asked, then snapped his palm out toward me, completely drenching me with the water he gathered. I used the air to push myself back out of range, then up and higher, Skulduggery rising to meet me. "You're flying, you know." He said, amused. I looked down automatically and would have fallen at the distraction, but he caught me easily. "So I'm still useful after all." He purred as I clung to him. I nodded and he gently landed.

"I think that is enough for one night, I'm very impressed you can do that out of your armour. Some sorcerors never learn to do half of what you can do now in an entire lifetime, I'm impressed, Valkyrie. But then I shouldn't be, you're _my_ combat accessory, so of course you'll be impressive." He obligingly manipulated the water off me, a definite smirk on his skeletal features. I rolled my eyes and said nothing as we walked back to the Bentley. Skulduggery paused at my door, looking at me endearingly.

"It _is_ evening you know." He said. I took him happily in my arms, initiating the kiss, thinking it was a fine tradition for us to have. Skulduggery responded then insisted he deserved a second kiss because we had been separated the night before. I agreed and we only separated when I heard an amused bark. "Cú Sídhe!" I called happily, kneeling down and the huge white dog galloped towards me, his red eyes glowing in delight. He licked me eagerly in greeting, then reared up to meet Skulduggery, his massive paws resting on his friend's shoulders.

Skulduggery chuckled in delight, rubbing the massive head stroking his muzzle to elicit whines of pure canine pleasure. Cú Sídhe got down, then looked at us before running back into the tall grasses on the side of the field. Then was a rustle, a sharp scream like a woman's, then silence. He trotted back out, the largest hare I'd even seen clamped proudly between his jaws. He laid it at Skulduggery's feet, then put a massive paw on his knee. Skulduggery laughed and nodded, turning to me.

"You get to taste wild game sooner than later, Valkyrie. Cú Sídhe adores anything cooked over an open flame. If you'd be good enough to help me find a suitable spot and clear away the grasses, I'll see about finding dead wood and something to craft a spit out of." We soon had a suitable area cleared to the bare earth, Skulduggery reminding me of the importance of not starting unwanted fires. One the wood was ringed with stone he showed me how to use two sticks to draw a spark to start the dried grasses, blowing on them gently to fan the flames. I watched him, wondered how he could even blow on anything, and he just looked over at me obviously enjoying my reaction.

Skulduggery got the spit set up then walked to the boot for a hunting knife I'd never seen before and came back. "You might want to look away, unless you want to learn how to skin a hare?" He cocked his head at me, his voice hopeful.

"If you're taking me hunting, I better learn, right?" Skulduggery nodded happily, showing me how to both skin and clean the hare, leaving the insides to Cú Sídhe who happily started in on them. Skulduggery set the rabbit of the spit, then settled down one the stone he'd found for us, looping an easy arm around my shoulders.

"You'll have to clean your first kill yourself of course, I'll insist. Be glad I have no intention of blooding you." He teased. Cú Sídhe heard him and came over, an insulted look on his face. He leant forward rubbing his bloody muzzle on me, than sat back on his haunches in pride.

"Thank you, Cú Sídhe, I appreciate the initiation." I said, resisting the temptation to wipe the blood off. Cú Sídhe growled happily then licked my face clean, trotting back to his meal, but not before giving Skulduggery a baleful glare.

When the rabbit had been turned enough and was at last ready it was deepest night, but I was content to lean back into Skulduggery and eat the rabbit he hewed off for me, Cú Sídhe eating the head with many crunches and gusto sat across from me. Skulduggery held me as I ate, and afterwards as the flames warmed me and I drowsed, he began to sing to me in Gaelic, and I soon fell asleep in his comforting arms.

* * *

 **Note: Blooding is an almost worldwide tradition. Depending on the area either the blood of the first kill seen or the first animal killed by the novice hunter is rubbed on the face "blooding" him or her into the tribe of hunters.**


	38. Chapter 38

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, Vile, China or Valkyrie. I'm well aware nobody is still reading at this point, so from here on out this story is posted purely to please myself, because I'm narcissistic like that. Thems the jokes people, lighten up. Valduggery and some Vilkyrie ahead.

* * *

I awoke several hours later and could tell by Skulduggery's relaxed body that he was meditating as he held me, his arms wrapped around me protectively. This gave me a rare chance to think about us. There was so much about Skulduggery's past I didn't know, and it could come back to hurt us. Well, to hurt me. He'd said he loved me and I believed him. I also believed he'd never been with China because I trusted him. But had he been in love with her? Was there out there, even now a woman he'd felt more strongly for, one who could waltz back into his life and take him from me?

Cú Sídhe growled, and I looked over in surprise. He was glaring at me hard. I shook my head to show him I didn't understand what he was so angry at, and he stared into my eyes deeply. He'd been reading my thoughts, and apparently they disgusted him. I shrugged at him helplessly, and Skulduggery's arms fell open and to the side. I got up, looking at Cú Sídhe, hoping he'd follow and he did. It felt very strange to be taking advice from him, but I knew in his own way he wanted to help.

I made sure we were far enough away that even Skulduggery couldn't hear us if he awakened, and sat down in the tall grass. Cú Sídhe sat across from me, his expression grim. "Look, Cú Sídhe, I'm not stupid, I know that is over four hundred years there had to be someone at least, someone he likely loved more than me, someone with more to give. He's right in that I've matured and I know we want to be together, but maybe it just isn't meant to be." I said, keeping my voice soft and low.

Cú Sídhe raised his lip in a silent snarl. His glowing red eyes met mine, making his anger clear over my lack of trust.

"Cú Sídhe, please, listen. I don't even know his wife's name, or his child's. I never will either, doesn't that strike you as the least bit odd?" The massive head shook slowly, there was something I wasn't understanding here. Cú Sídhe looked at me, clearly asking me to trust that whatever Skulduggery's reasons were for not telling me, they were good ones. His eyes were imploring now, asking me to trust Skulduggery to be faithful, to take him at his word when he said there was no one else.

I shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold. "I'm frightened." I said. Then his massive body was pressed into mine, the canine version of a hug and I wrapped my arms around him, burying my head in his shaggy fur. Cú Sídhe moved back, pressing his forehead under my chin in silent encouragement. He sat back at last, clearly worried. "Cú Sídhe I want to trust Skulduggery more than anything, and until I realized I was in love with him, I always did, but now there's so much more to loose. What do I do? You know Skulduggery, he won't tell me anything he doesn't think I need to know until adult children show up on our doorstep."

The anger was back on his face and I looked away. I was struggling with myself then. I wanted to run, to protect myself. I was frightened of the idea of trusting Skulduggery completely, but the thought made me pause. Where were these ideas coming from? I felt worse than when I'd had Lovegate's tea. I looked at Cú Sídhe helplessly, and he came forward, his glowing twin jewels of eyes willing me to fight back.

I nodded, teeth gritted. I knew this was some sort of attack, somebody was close, hoping to separate us. I stared at Cú Sídhe in horror and we both sprinted back to Skulduggery's side. I shook him hard, we had to get out of there and now. Cú Sídhe started a rumbling war song in his chest, pacing, guarding us the best he could. Skulduggery wouldn't wake up, and I felt fear flood through me. I got him to the Bentley once again getting in the driver's seat, making sure Cú Sídhe was in before starting the engine and racing towards home.

I was well aware our attacker could be lying in wait for us, or a confederate working for him, because I knew without a doubt the killer was after us. I tore up the lawn parking as close as possible to the front door, figuring Skulduggery's wrath would be worth it if only he'd ever wake up again. I opened the front door hurriedly, bundling Skulduggery in, Cú Sídhe's growls growing to thunderous proportions. We got inside and I slammed and locked the door behind us, my heart thundering. I took out my mobile and dialed Ghastly, sitting on the floor cross-legged, rocking a still prone Skulduggery in my arms.

It seemed to take forever, but Ghastly answered at long last, muttering a curse when I told him what had happened. He told me he and Tanith would be there soon, and he would call the Sanctuary, so to expect Cleavers to be there as well. Now I only had to handle a god-like killer on my own until then. I rose, struggling to take Skulduggery up to the bedroom, liking our odds better when attacks could only come from the door or window. I laid him down on the bed, agitated. He didn't look well. He like he was in pain. I cursed myself for ever doubting him for an instant, for leaving his side.

I knew I didn't deserve him and I never would, but I'd die fighting to protect him. I was aware now that the panic within me was from the feeling of being drained of my magic, and looking at Skulduggery I realized he was hanging on by the barest thread. He'd never make it until help arrived. The power cut out, and the knob of the locked bedroom door started to turn tauntingly. I thought I heard a voice and scratching at the window, but turned, seeing nothing. I realized I was going to die then. Die at the hands of a man who so hated Lord Vile for letting him live that he was going to kill Skulduggery in revenge.

While I couldn't give him Lord Vile exactly I could and did call my armour to me. I felt it pass through the killer's power, felt his dismay as the armour flowed on and the power flooded through me. If just I frightened him, I couldn't wait to see what Lord Vile himself could do. Intuitively I called upon the power Vile had hidden in me, touching Skulduggery, willing Vile's armour to appear. It did and Vile sat up, his gaze fierce behind his visor. He felt the killer, and he clearly wanted a chance to fulfill the man's death wish.

I nodded in agreement and we both felt the killer retreating, but Vile was in no mood to let him flee. He got up, grabbing me, and his shadows swirled around us. We shadow-walked onto the side lawn, Vile releasing me as we approached the killer. I let him take the lead, repressing my own rage and desire to kill, but barely. Cú Sídhe had appeared to the killer's back, and we closed in on him, Vile's shadows shooting forward to contain him. The killer howled as the shadows touched him, then in an explosion of light he disappeared.

I could sense Vile's rage as his shadows writhed. We'd been so close and now the killer was gone, no doubt back in the cave, laughing at us. Lord Vile turned towards me, and time seemed to stop. There was nothing of Skulduggery left in the Vile that stood before me. He seemed to be a much younger man, the god-killer reborn. The gaze I felt upon me from the visor was cold, unfeeling. He stalked towards me, his shadows writhing in his evident anger. I drew up my own, ready to defend myself, though I knew if he desired my death now it would be over in an instant.

He came to a stop and I felt his cold amusement at my shadows, and his head tilted mockingly. He raised a gauntleted hand, clearly preparing to attack. I did the only thing I could do. I reached up and touched my jaws, shedding the armour. Vile paused, seemingly unsure. Then he shrugged and raised his hand again, his shadows traveling up his armour to mass in his palm. Vile wanted me to see my death coming, he was enjoying taunting me with it. "That's it Vile." I said calmly. "Prove you went to the right side after all. Kill a woman, you've seen it done before, I'm sure you know how. I apologize there is no child present, but I'm sure Cú Sídhe is about the right size."

I felt his fury increase sevenfold, but I wouldn't back down. "What do you know about loss? I had to give up my entire family so I could stay at the side of the man I loved. I can never see them ever again, they might as well be dead. I have no family, no partner, no friend left. I just saw the only man I ever fell in love with die to anything good in him to save his life, I got to watch any hope of a future with him, of a family with him, die. I've got to watch the you I fell in love with die too. You don't even realize I'm in love with you even now, do you? So don't you start with me, because I am _not_ afraid of you."

I expected him to kill me then, but he titled his head to one side, his shadows calming. Something of his humanity seemed to be seeping back in, because he stepped several wary paces back. He looked at me through the visor and I could feel his despair. Before I could react he gathered his shadows and was gone.

* * *

Ghastly and Tanith arrived to find me on the lawn. I was aware they were there and were speaking, but I couldn't seem to hear them or react. I realized I was in shock, because I knew if Vile had gone off on his own he was as good as dead. Then the tears came and Tanith held me soothingly as Ghastly spoke into his mobile, issuing orders. I could hear him order a search for Skulduggery and knew detectives and agents would be looking everywhere.

They took me inside, Ghastly looking at the coffee pot in evident distaste. I knew he needed tea, we all needed something. Both he and Tanith looked frightened. I got up starting the coffee, telling Ghastly where the kettle was so he could put water on for tea. There was tea thankfully, but I half suspected he carried some on him just in case. I told them about the attack, and luckily Tanith knew about Vile. Her eyes widened when she heard about him leaving, and I could tell she was ready to cry.

"Tanith, do you realize how much self-control Vile showed?" I asked. "Normally he kills the nearest target when he's thwarted, he could have killed me, he was ready to because all of his humanity disappeared for just a moment. He wasn't even Vile anymore. But when I challenged him it was Vile who stopped his attack, Vile who felt despair at the thought of hurting me. In his own way. Lord Vile loves me, and that is the only thing that kept me alive."

"Lucky you, and that just makes it worse." She sniffed. I busied myself with coffee and tea so Ghastly could take her into his arms, kissing her tenderly, reassuring her everything was going to be all right. I almost told him not to lie, but bit my tongue. We all knew the truth.

We were all dispirited, our heads hanging low, when I heard a familiar voice rising up from the front lawn. A torrent of what must have been Gaelic curses met our ears, and we all smiled at each other in blessed relief. I ran out to see Skulduggery, and he looked at me, continuing to rave, gesticulating at the mud-smeared Bentley and the ruined lawn, his curses growing louder. I leapt off the porch and ran to him, tackling him hard. He stopped in mid-curse as I brought his head down to meet mine, kissing him hard. His arms wrapped tightly around me, and he deepened the kiss, walking me backwards to trap me against the Bentley.

His hands roamed and his growl at my responding touch was equal parts desire and annoyance. He pulled back, looking down at me severely.

"The lawn! The Bentley! _My_ Bentley, my car! Valkyrie!"

"I saved you from a killer and your worried about some grass and a muddy car. A fine husband you'll make."

"Be that as it may, Valkyrie- what killer? Oh, dear, Lord Vile." He sat heavily on the fender and I realized he had no idea what had happened. He listened dully, shaking his head. "I don't remember anything after slipping into meditation. God, Valkyrie, you were alone with Vile, the REAL Lord Vile, and you taunted him? You're lucky he does love you, that even the worst part of him desires to be with you, or you'd be dead right now, because what makes me myself was completely gone."

I sat down beside him, thunderstruck. "You don't remember anything, anything at all?"

"Not a thing. God Valkyrie, Vile could have killed you, he _should_ have killed you. I have no idea what saved you, especially considering you were foolish enough to shed your armour."

"Skulduggery, I didn't tell you that." I said gently, and he looked away in shame. So he did remember and I'd seem him at his worst. He hadn't wanted me to know, had wanted to hide the awful truth from me. I turned him to face him, feeling the tremors that had started to shake his body. He was crying in the only way he could. I gathered him to me, searching for the right words.

"Skulduggery, you know I love you, I love Lord Vile as well, and I will never stop loving either one of you for as long as I live. Even beyond that. You don't know how badly I wanted to stop you, to trap you with my own shadows, to hold you there I so I could show you I loved you. I wanted to kiss you so badly, Skulduggery-"

Then his teeth found my lips and we didn't separate until the first van of Cleavers showed up. Skulduggery pulled back looking at me benignly. He caressed my hair, before speaking softly. "It's what I wanted too." He whispered.

* * *

The Cleavers had fanned out, making doubly sure the killer wasn't still lurking in the area, then came back to stand silent guard, Ghastly insisted we needed both vans of Cleavers there. I knew they were a token defense at best, but nodded my thanks. Ghastly and Tanith withdrew from us, both needed at the Sanctuary and we retired upstairs. I didn't know where Cú Sídhe was, and I could only hope he was all right. I'd walked to the window to gaze outside and when I caught movement behind me, Lord Vile was standing there. His visored gaze caught mine in the glass and I turned to meet his approach.

Vile brought an armoured hand up to caress my face, and the other came to rest on my shoulder. Then both hands were moving, caressing and drawing me forward. I felt him react as he pressed me tightly against him and his visored head came down to meet mine. Vile kissed me as deeply as possible, refusing to let go, only shifting the position his armour met my lips at, and pressing down urgently. His caressing increased, and he pulled me tighter still to hold me flush against him. I felt his entire body stiffen, heard a gathering growl as I reached up to caresses his armoured head, then he pulled back long enough to lift his visor, and his teeth met my lips.

Skulduggery's armour fell away, but still he kissed me, calmer now, clearly restraining the desire to go further. He opened his arms at last, gently pushing me away so he could gaze wistfully at me. "My my, aren't we the popular one with homicidal maniacs?" He teased. I laughed and let him gather me in his arms loosely, pressing back when he brought his forehead down to meet mine. "What did I tell you about running?" He scolded gently.

"Uh, Skulduggery you told me distance wouldn't matter if Vile was after me."

He sighed and nodded. "For one blinding moment I was as I used to be, I didn't even see you Valkyrie. I only saw the person I wanted to kill because I couldn't reach the killer. You are damned lucky to be alive, I hope you know that. Of course, now that you know what kind of monster I really am, I don't expect you to marry me."

"Skulduggery Pleasant, I want to marry you now more than ever before. Because even at his worst Vile caught himself, he couldn't kill me. I- I couldn't kill him either, and I think he knew it. I won't be able to stop him if he looses control again, Skulduggery. Please don't ask me to."

Skulduggery gathered me to him and we went to bed silently, neither one of us truly sleeping. Because we both knew now that if either one of us lost control the other would step aside, letting the chaos begin, unable to attack their lover even at his or her worst. We also knew we wouldn't tell anyone. Most importantly, we knew we'd defend our lover to the death falling at his or her side, both of us unwilling to live on if our beloved fell beside us.


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Lord Vile, Ghastly, Erksine, Geoffrey, Darquesse, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, story is still in her POV.

* * *

I awoke at dawn the next morning, feeling like I'd been hit by a truck. The negative emotions the killer had used, however he'd done it had left me feeling drained. Skulduggery was already up and I wondered if he'd meditated at all. I showered and dressed, then went downstairs to find him meditating in his chair. I frowned, being able to tell by his face he felt the depressing lingering effects as well. I shook him gently and his skull tilted upwards.

"Valkyrie? What time is it?"

"Dawn, but I couldn't sleep. You looked terrible, I thought you might want to be up instead. That, and I could use the company." I admitted.

"Mmm. It has nothing to do with how depressed we both feel, does it? We should contact Gordon later to see if he knows anything. But until then, how about I make you breakfast? Cooking might calm my nerves, and I like impressing you."

"Are you sure you've meditated enough? I don't want to hurt you by keeping you up."

"Nonsense, frankly I'm glad you woke me. I had the most terrible nightmare, and I couldn't wake up. I assume the killer is winning and using the cave to boost his attacks. I'm so sorry you're involved in this mess, Valkyrie."

"I'm not. I want to be at your side when you need me. We're partners, remember? It's my job to stand by your side."

He got up and held me close, burying his skull in the top of my head. I thought I felt him breathe in, and pulled away, startled.

"When did you pick that up?" I asked, charmed.

"Recently. You like it? That's how I could start the fire as well. I'm not sure if they are natural abilities or my need to impress you. That's a very nice shampoo by the way, the scent works well for you."

"Skulduggery!" I said, surprised by his rare compliment.

"Now, now my dearest combat accessory, I'm only looking out for your welfare. The shampoo smells very, well, woodsy, I suppose. almost reminds me of the fire, but I like it on you. I wasn't aware women enjoyed smelling like anything other than flowers, but then you've never been all that womanly."

"Skulduggery!" I growled, following him to the kitchen. He merely waved a skeletal hand at me and began digging in the fridge. He got out eggs, bacon and bread, then started the coffee. He got out the stool and patted it and I reluctantly got up, still annoyed at his insult, but I forgave him the instant he smiled at me in delight as I sat down. He still didn't expect me to choose to be that close to him, I realized, so I watched attentively as he cooked, fighting off my dark mood, being sure to compliment his skills. Somehow it made me feel better, realizing that he was showing me a kindness and showing him one in return instead of letting him do all the work.

Being able to make him relax and forget the case even for a few minutes was worth not being so self-centered. Maybe it had been a good thing I'd been told how self-centered I was after all, but I still wasn't sending He of the Stupid Hair anything by way of thanks anytime soon.

"What are you thinking about? You looked so happy right now." Skulduggery said, shepherding me to the table with a smile. He set my breakfast before me, perfectly content to sit across from me and watch me eat. I wished right then I could tell him thanks, he deserved it. But I knew the truth would make him much happier.

"I just realized that I'm not quite as self-centered as I used to be. Making you happy this morning was more important that sitting back and letting you do all the work."

"Well, well. I don't know what's brought on the recent change of mood, but I like it. To tell you the truth I was thinking the same thing. About you of course, I've always been the epitome of generosity." He beamed at me.

"Actually, you have been. I'm assuming you didn't see to the care and feeding of all your partners."

"Can't say that I have. Not needing to eat myself I would just honestly forget. After the first couple starved to death I caught on though." He grinned.

"Skulduggery, that's terrible." I laughed.

"No, terrible is how the killer must be feeling hiding in his cave right now. Did you feel his reaction when Lord Vile showed up? That was priceless. Neat trick by the way, you being able to put my armour on me."

"Somehow Vile knew he'd need me to. Nobody ever complimented him on it, but he's quite the military strategist in his own right. He's able to anticipate the killer's moves that far in advance and plan accordingly."

"You sound smitten." Skulduggery said, amused.

"I am."

"Oh-ho, you are, are you? Need I remind you Vile almost killed you several hours ago?"

I shrugged. "The first time Darquesse saw you she thought of how easy it would be to tear you apart. You're lucky she liked you."

"My, the things you say!" He flushed and ducked his skull down.

* * *

We were in Gordon's study several hours later, Skulduggery still preening over the fact that Darquesse liked him. It was a strange reaction since he made no secret of his active dislike of her, but then Vile had hated her too. I wondered if that was how men were different than women, but supposed it wasn't. Skulduggery and I both knew not too many women would have been thrilled to accept Lord Vile's advances, but I thought it was nice having both the hero and the villain as my lover. I was lost in my thoughts when Skulduggery shook my shoulder. "Valkyrie!"

"Huh, what?"

"Brilliant." He sighed in disgust.

"What?"

"We've been discussing the case for the last ten minutes while you were off wool-gathering." Uncle Gordon put it. "At least tell me it was a story you were thinking about and we'll both forgive you."

"I won't." Skulduggery grumbled.

"Sorry, I'm not much of a morning person. Now what did you say again, Skulduggery?" I smiled at him and he huffed in indignation.

"You know I hate repeating myself."

"Said the man who tells the orphanage story constantly."

"I do not. But I've solved the case!" He stated proudly. I wanted to say 'What case?' since we knew were the killer was, but then I'd missed ten minutes of conversation. So I just looked at him and nodded for him to continue.

"First you have to acknowledge my genius and that I'm a far superior detective than you."

"I what?" I hissed.

"I'll take that as meaning you're utter awe of me."

"It wasn't meant as awe. You're the most conceited person I've ever met!"

"I'm taking it anyway. Now as I said, I've solved the case. Which means I know how to kill both the cave and the killer, because let's be honest, an arrest isn't happening at this point."

"OK-"

"We are going into the cave, because as I've always said, the idea of a living cave is just stupid. There is, however, a _spirit_ in the cave, and that's what we need to stop."

"I'm still not seeing how going into the cave is a good idea."

"Oh, it is a horrible idea, the exactly wrong thing to do. Which is why Vile is going in with- Wait for it-"

"Skulduggery!"

"No, not Skulduggery, even Vile isn't THAT talented, he's going in with you when you're both out of control! Isn't that a wonderful plan?" Skulduggery asked brightly.

"Skulduggery, that's a terrible plan! Nobody will be in the wheelhouse! We could both go on a mindless rampage!"

"I know, isn't it wonderful? Because the first targets will be that killer and the spirit in the cave. You're far more powerful now after your Surge, and in the armour you'll match Vile for power. The two of you should have a lovely time together."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this." I turned to Uncle Gordon. "Don't tell me you approve?"

He nodded. "I do, actually. Even at your worst you and Vile will have a challenge on your hands. You'll need Lord Vile out of control, you'll need to be that way too. Even then there's no guarantee either of you will come back alive."

I looked at Skulduggery, then back at Gordon, who obligingly retreated into his Echo Stone. "Skulduggery, just the idea of Vile being hurt is enough to make me loose control."

"Good, because when he manipulated your armour, and honestly I'm still not aware of how he did it, well I am, but that's neither here nor there. But when he did he lent you his anger, his endless rage. Under the right circumstances that's a prefect weapon. That rage is what will enable Vile to fight and kill a demi-god or whatever the killer is now. It will enable you to fight by his side. This cave spirit, mostly likely is a lot like the Faceless Ones, not something your humanity wants a close look at, to be honest."

"What happened to everyone telling me to find good reasons to fight, noble ones?"

"That was before I figured out the wonderful thing about your Surge. You wore the armour before the Surge, you had, in a way, part of Lord Vile inside of you, he was there inside, during your Surge. That explains you being able to fly and do other things even outside the armour. Now that you've come into your power, you have part of him in you, always. So he'll teach you how to use that endless rage in a constructive, or rather, destructive manner."

"Is this going to involve more training?"

"Indeed it is. But we have a long time until nightfall, then Lord Vile will have you all to himself. Don't look so alarmed, Valkyrie, it will still be me, after all."

"Of course."

"Plus, Vile is very excited about training you. I've never seen him excited about anything, ever. It's a new emotion for him. Among other ones he feels for you." Skulduggery said playfully. He rose and held out his hand to me. "Shall we go? I'd rather tell Ghastly our brilliant plan in person than over the phone and I assume he's still at the Sanctuary."

I took his hand and managed a hurried goodbye to Gordon, as Skulduggery practically towed me out of the room. We were a few paces into the hall when he took me in his arms planting a searing kiss on my lips. I responded just as eagerly, gripping his shoulder blades to pull him closer, enjoying the deep growls it caused to come from him. Skulduggery opened his mouth the moment I gasped for air, placing his teeth above and below my lips, nipping gently.

Then his slightly parted teeth were on my lips, encouraging me to respond to his advances. Just as I felt my resolve slipping he pulled back looking rather pleased with himself. "That's just some of what Vile feels like doing to you tonight after your training is out of the way." He purred. He leant in closer and I swore I could catch a wicked glint in his eye sockets. "But I don't think he's planning on stopping there." Skulduggery straightened up, looking at me bemusedly. "You should see your face right now, Valkyrie. You can turn the most interesting shades of red when you blush."

I sighed and followed him out to the Bentley. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Ghastly looked amused when we entered his office. "You two missed all the fun. Everyone is having a complete meltdown after last night. We are only four days from the dark of the moon, and having the killer up and about is dashing the hopes the cave would rend him to pieces."

Skulduggery smiled. "He's picking the best possible time, really. One of the charming things most people don't know about Necromancers is that truly talented ones can use the dark of night like they use shadows. He's giving us an unlimited supply of weapons."

Ghastly shook his head, still smiling and rose to make tea. "I shouldn't tell you this, as an Elder, but my orders, or rather my intent still stands, he's gone too far, he's too unstable. I don't like asking either of you to do this but-"

"Neither he or the cave can live, we know." Skulduggery put in, happily.

Ghastly turned in surprise. "We always arrest them, but this one, he's different, plus he knows too much. If he ever did speak he could ruin a lot of people, not just you, but almost everyone at the Sanctuary. Lots of interesting letters showed up today, letters the officials refuse to share. Three guesses who sent them."

"So they are not so much your orders, as the orders from the top. I suddenly feel like letting the man live." Skulduggery mused.

"You really want people knowing the truth about Darquesse?" Ghastly asked flatly, handing my tea over. I'd always figured he knew, he was far too good in the boxing ring not to recognize a fighter no matter how much they transformed. Skulduggery however seemed to turn a whiter shade of pale.

"You knew that as well?"

"Of course I knew, the Remnant couldn't block all my memories, and I do know my own daughter better than you think I do. I'd say she gets her temperament from me, to be truthful."

"Sprung from you complete, like Athena from Zeus, no doubt." Skulduggery muttered.

Ghastly just smiled in reply, then turned to look at me. "What idiotic plan did this genius come up with this time? Because I know that's what you're both here for." I told him the plan, expecting him to get angry, but his smile only deepened. I remembered then that they were both soldiers, both Dead Men, and they would have carried out missions like this countless times. This was no longer a case, but a mission in a war few would ever know about.

When I finished, Ghastly spoke. "Good, but of course the rest of the Sanctuary will be there and ready. Even Erskine is looking forward to enjoying himself. We can't join you two in the cave, and no doubt he will be very surprised to see Vile show up, but Geoffrey will be more than happy to work with the others to convince folks they never saw Lord Vile in the first place. Luckily the Sanctuary already has them all in place to protect certain higher ups, so they won't notice a thing." Both men smiled at each other and I was aware for the first time that underneath their everyday behaviour they were still warriors, and to an extent deadly predators that looked forward to the upcoming battle as a wolf does to the hunt. They weren't Dead Men just because they would fight for a juat cause, but because in a civilized world their apex predator natures left them with no other outlet. I smiled faintly at them both, fervently glad they were on my side.

We took our leave, and I could tell Skulduggery was amused to no end at his sudden license to kill. "We get to be a death squad of two, you and I. We should go somewhere and celebrate." He purred and half chirruped as he opened my door. I kissed his cheek through the disguise and he tilted his head endearingly in pleased response. I made sure to lean over for his door and he smiled at me as he got in. "Seat belt. I'm serious, wherever you'd like to go today, just name it."

I grinned over at him. "Provided you can stop somewhere for a Coke I'm happy just to cruise around for a few hours."

"Uh, 'cruise around'?"

"You know, Skulduggery, just drive around with the top down for a few hours. It's a pity we aren't in Christine, she had the best cruising music on tap."

"Right, you mean driving music, I think, and the radio is perfectly suitable for that. I honestly don't understand 'cruising' but I suppose a nice drive would be refreshing."

He stopped obligingly for a Coke, several in fact and a coffee apparently seeing I needed more caffeine for what I knew would be a rather long and sedate drive. I loved Skulduggery, I truly did, but we did have gaps in what we enjoyed.

He hated cruising with a passion, he knew perfectly well what it was. He wouldn't listen to music like 'Make me Lose Control' by Eric Carmen or even the Beach Boys. I'd have thought that someone his age would be impressed I enjoyed music from before my time, but he was stuck in a time warp as far as his musical tastes went. I still remembered how he'd almost wrecked the Bentley when I had adjusted the radio without telling him and 'Barbara Ann' had come on.

The thought caused me to grin as I got back into the Bentley and Skulduggery pulled away sedately from the gas station.

* * *

"You know Skulduggery," I teased him as we rolled on smoothly and serenely over wooded roads. "We need to update your taste in music. Say, The Beatles for instance." I knew what his reaction would be and his didn't disappoint me.

"Beetles are a garden pest, not a music group, as the screechy noise they produce attests to. That isn't music, Valkyrie, it's an assault on good taste. Never mind that for a good Irishwoman anything labeled the 'British Invasion' should be avoided at all costs." I laughed and he shot me an annoyed look.

"But the Americans love them." I teased.

"Americans love a lot of foolish things." He grumbled.

* * *

We drove for hours, ending back up at the inn he'd took me to by a completely different route. It was midday, and we'd both shed our jackets, Skulduggery smoothing his dark blue suit as he got out, fussing with tie and hat. He caught my look. "A man should always look his best." He told me.

"Mmm, you'll start wearing cologne next."

"I think I will. I don't suppose you have one of those small vials anywhere on your person? I know you collect those things." I nodded, handing over one I'd gotten unlabeled, thankful he'd never shopped online since I figured the skeleton figure on the full-sized bottle wouldn't have pleased him, Skulduggery being rather prickly about skeletons being used on anything.

He applied it judiciously after inhaling the scent. "I like this. What's it called?"

"I can't remember to be honest, I think it was an import, but it does smell good on you." I said, hoping nobody else in the entire Republic of Ireland knew it was called 'Bone Daddy'. But I'd never seen it for sale anywhere outside the US, so I figured the chances were slim. I motioned for him to keep the vial, and he nodded, pleased.

We went in, and found our booth waiting. I wondered if Skulduggery had called ahead and he nodded to my questioning glance. I smiled, happy we'd reached a point where no words were needed. The waitress came over with coffee and told me my steak would be up soon. I glanced at Skulduggery as she left and he shrugged elegantly. "I figured you like the steak here, and as I've said, I enjoy watching you eat. This could be a daily occurrence as far as I'm concerned."

"Skulduggery, you'd go broke. What about all the times you told me it was a good thing you didn't need to eat?"

"Oh, that? I was teasing. I've had over four hundred years to see the humour in being a skeleton." He sat back, clearly content with himself. I could see the cologne was having the same effect on him as it did on me. His body language looked relaxed, almost drowsy. I wondered briefly in the plant where they made it in America used some sort of narcotic in it.

A waiter brought my steak, and I could tell the scent caught him too. He inhaled deeply, then turned to look at Skulduggery, blushing. He gave a rather high-pitched giggle for a man and walked away. I realized he'd been flirting with Skulduggery and tried not to laugh as Skulduggery's pleased comprehension dawned in his voice. "Well, I'll be." He said, looking after the waiter in fond amusement. "I always knew I was attractive, but apparently this cologne could be a deadly weapon in the wrong hands. I don't think I've felt so distinctly masculine in several centuries, at least."

I smiled, enjoying the steak and his pleased reaction. "I'll have to see about getting you some more. But I think it is out of production. It does come from America, you know." I added, hoping to dodge his pursuit.

"You mean you simply gave me an imported scent, Valkyrie? That's incredibly generous of you. It must be hideously expensive. No, you figure out what the name is, and I'll see to ordering some for myself."

"Uh, I can give you some actually, I happen to have several bottles at Gordon's mansion. I've been to America you know, to see cousins from there. They took me to the mall to see a store they only have in America, insisting I'd love it since I dress in black."

"I see. I suppose it had some sort of properly somber name."

"Not really. It had a bright red neon sign that read 'Hot Topic'. But it was a decent sort of store if you don't mind that sort of thing."

"Mmm. So you bought cologne at the time for-"

"Goodness, not for anyone else. The scent reminded me of you, for some reason." I was telling the truth, I was just neglecting to mention the rather self-satisfied and well-dressed skeleton on the bottle.

Skulduggery tilted his head in pleasure, making another of his curious purring sounds. He offered me his arm as we got up to leave and I took it, enjoying his obvious pleasure at showing how proper a gentleman he could be. Of course I suppose a proper gentleman wouldn't have given me a searing kiss through the disguise when we reached the Bentley, but Skulduggery never did claim to be civilized.

* * *

 **First, my apologies. The fragrance 'Bone Daddy' is not sold outside the US as far as I know, and is, I think, out of production. But my new bottle came in today, so it HAD to be Skulduggery's signature scent.**


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Lord Vile, or Valkyrie. Lordy yes, Val is still 24, and the story is still in her POV. WARNING: Major Valduggery and Vilkyrie ahead.

* * *

"Skulduggery!" I laughed, pushing him away at long last. He just gave a contented purr and nuzzled into me before peeling me away from the Bentley and opening the door. I got in, giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek, and leaned over to open his door for him. Skulduggery got in, gazing at me contentedly, not even bothering to put the key in the ignition. I could feel his grin broaden under his disguise. He leaned forward, kissing me again, but with more control this time. He pulled away at last, gazing at me wistfully.

"Why did we agree to wait until we're married again?"

"It was your idea, Skulduggery, and I think you're having way too much fun teasing me with it."

"True, true. Very well, we'll wait. Seatbelt." He gave me a sideways glance as he put the Bentley into drive. "I'm honestly not all that interested, to tell you the truth."

I complied, but couldn't resist teasing him in return as we drove back towards home. "I bet Lord Vile wouldn't make me wait." Skulduggery made a high, tight sound and nearly drove the Bentley off the road.

"Not funny." He growled when I burst out laughing.

"I'll be sure to behave during training tonight." I teased further.

He just growled in response and clutched the steering wheel in a death grip. When he could at last speak I could tell it was between clenched teeth. "I swear Valkyrie, if you don't behave for the rest of the day, there will be no training session."

"How are you going to manage that when I only have to touch you in my armour for Lord Vile to appear, hmm?"

"You'll never see that armour again if you don't behave." He growled.

"OK, I'll behave. For now."

"Valkyrie!"

"Sorry, I'm only teasing. How come it's OK when you do it?"

"Because I'm better at it, that's why. This is where I once again remind you we do have a vast age difference."

"I know, but you'll grow up some day, Skulduggery. There's always hope."

He looked over at me as we pulled up to our house, and I could sense a faint smile on his face. "You never take anything seriously. So I've taught you well. But still-"

"If you want to know the truth, Skulduggery, your age is one of the things that makes you attractive to me."

"Really now." He purred. "Exactly how attractive does it make me?" He leaned towards me, the heady sent of his cologne doing terrible things to me. One gloved hand was on my waist when my mobile rang, causing Skulduggery to jump, slamming his head on the roof of the car. He cursed, backing off and getting out as I checked who it was. Ghastly.

"Hi, dad." I said getting out. I swore Skulduggery rolled the eyes he didn't have at the interruption, but he trudged dutifully to the front door letting me in as Ghastly talked.

"Is my daughter behaving?" He teased.

"Always. You know Skulduggery never let's me have any fun." Skulduggery snorted rudely in response, but said nothing.

"I can only imagine. But I wanted to let you know I've started working on your dress. It should be ready in several weeks at most. Provided of course you two don't have another fight and break up again."

"That's great, and no, no more fighting, I swear."

We talked a few more minutes and I rang off, following Skulduggery into the kitchen where he already had coffee going. It was late afternoon now and I could feel his anticipation for the evening's training session.

"You do know tonight's training session will be serious, right? Lord Vile doesn't intend to let you go into battle if you aren't fully prepared, and I wouldn't challenge him on it, if I were you."

"I know that Skulduggery. Just knowing one of us might not come back- Vile isn't going to have to give me any motivation if he-" I looked away, not wanting to state the obvious. Even Lord Vile could die in that cave, and we both knew it.

Skulduggery came over to me, holding me close. "He doesn't intend to die, you know. Nor does he intend for you to die. Though he may try to kill you himself if you don't take you training seriously." I laughed, cuddling into him.

"Skulduggery?"

"Mmm?"

"How will this work? Was Lord Vile aware of your ring? Does he consider me-"

"Yes, and yes. It is still me, Valkyrie, just the side of me I'd rather not admit to. So yes, I'm well aware you will be my bride when I wear my armour, and you can't imagine how that fuels my rage when I think of somebody daring to hurt you." He paused, then continued reluctantly. "Your refusing to leave only increased Vile's, my, attachment to you. He might feel love, but considering the abomination he is he doesn't expect it in return. But you must always remember he is, I am, still Lord Vile. When I am completely out of control, when you see Vile at his darkest, I make no promises how he will react to you."

"But he wants to train me, Skulduggery."

"He's also a homicidal maniac who wants a partner in crime, and he's very well aware you won't stand in his way. I just can't guarantee that Vile won't react badly if he kills the killer and has no target left for his rage. Hopefully he will assist with the cave spirit after that, but I just don't trust him, Valkyrie, and neither should you. I don't even like the idea of him training you tonight, to be honest."

I could see the fear in his eye sockets, could feel it in the skeletal hands that gripped me.

"I have part of Vile in me remember? If I do have to defend myself he's going to regret building me so well."

"I think he already does. Ah, coffee's ready. Go have a seat in the living room, I'll be in shortly." I went in and put on the TV, not really seeing the program. It seemed to be taking Skulduggery forever to bring the coffee and I felt the hair on the back of my neck creep up. I flicked off the set just as a figure stepped into the room, clearly reflected by the TV screen. Lord Vile.

I got up and went to him respectfully, knowing he couldn't be in any decent mood after what I'd told Skulduggery, because everything Skulduggery took comfort in would not please Vile at all. He was staring at me hard from behind the eyeslits of his visor.

"What did you expect me to tell him, the truth?" I asked, and his shoulders relaxed, but only slightly. he tilted his head at me, then brought up one hand, massing his shadows. Something was wrong, I walked backwards and Vile followed, then shot his shadows forward at me spearing me in the chest, right through my protective clothing. This couldn't be happening. He held me on the shadow's point and walked forward, his gauntleted hands coming up to grab my shoulders, shaking me, Shaking me harder, then I was awake and Skulduggery was looking at me, frightened.

"Valkyrie! You wouldn't wake up, I was so worried." He bundled me into him, shaking in fright. I held him. This didn't seem real either. Skulduggery never over-reacted. His shaking increased and I realized they were tremors. He made a high whining noise as he literally started to shake apart. I knew then I was trapped in a nightmare. But nightmares are shadowy things so I followed the threads of the nightmare back to the source, striking with deadly intent.

I awoke suddenly, to see Skulduggery glance at me in surprise as he handed my my coffee. "Falling asleep on the job, are we? Vile won't be thrilled with you but I guess you needed the rest. Have a lie down after your coffee if you like, I'll meditate with you."

I nodded, drinking my coffee, knowing Skulduggery knew something was wrong, but was waiting for me to tell him. "Nightmare." I mumbled.

"Ah. But you managed to awaken yourself."

"Yes, I just struck back using my shadows, nightmares are made of shadows. I think I managed to wound the killer somehow, though that may just be wishful thinking."

Skulduggery smiled in deepest pleasure, and I knew I saw a hint of Lord Vile in his wicked delight too. "Let's hope your right, my loyal combat accessory."

* * *

Skulduggery laid down beside me and I wasn't sure to how ask him what I wanted to, so I just did. "Skulduggery?"

"Mmm?" He murmured sleepily.

"Did Vile ever meditate?"

"Not that I'm aware of, why?"

"Nothing just that, well, Vile would be more than happy to use his shadows if the killer attacked him in meditation."

Skulduggery sat up slightly and stared hard at me. "Are you saying I'm incapable of defending myself, Valkyrie?"

"No! I just don't want the killer getting to you. You already said you couldn't wake up this morning. I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"Of course. I apologize. I just didn't like the idea of you seeing me as weak, as a lesser man that Vile. But you said you used your shadows, so I'll be aware of what to do. Don't worry, Valkyrie, now that I'm aware of what to do I can be Lord Vile in my dream if I have to." He grasped my hand, squeezing it reassuringly before placing his teeth on my cheek ever so briefly. We fell asleep holding hands, and I didn't dream.

* * *

When I awoke at last night had fallen. Skulduggery was still beside me, his skeletal arms wrapped around me. I thought he was still meditating, but his teeth found my lips is the dark, pressing down gently but firmly. I was startled, but I returned his affection, looping an arm around his lower ribs and stroking his skull. He shifted with a slight growl, drawing me on top of him, his hands roving up and down my sides.

"Valkyrie." He breathed, his hands grasping my ribs. His teeth found my neck, and his nipped trails up and down. "Valkyrie, why are we waiting?" I could hear the desperation in his voice, and fully intended to stop waiting then and there. I lowered my head down to his neck, tracing the bones with a finger before kissing and nipping each one in turn. Skulduggery gave a sharp gasp, then pulled away.

"No, no, my apologies, we wait." His voice was rough and he sounded upset over leading me as far as he had. I didn't want to wait, I was tired of waiting, but I said nothing. There was training to get to, after all. I sighed and sat up, intending to rise, but Skulduggery grasped me from behind. "Call your armour to you." He breathed in my ear. I did, feeling it flow over me, feeling the power flow through me. Skulduggery didn't let go, only gripped me more firmly before speaking again. "Now call mine to me."

I was sure I had to be dreaming, but I reached for him, grasping the arms that held me, allowing the touch of his body against my armour to help me in sending him his own. Then it wasn't Skulduggery grasping me in the dark anymore, it was Vile. I let my dead senses flow forward, I could see into the darkness now, and see as well as feel Lord Vile's shadows swirling around us both, trapping mine, drawing me closer. His shadows swirled and gathered, then we were shadow-walking, Vile rising smoothly even as we did, taking me with him.

I didn't recognize where we were at first. Then realized we were in the training field. I made no move away from Vile, too stunned to move. This was much farther than he should have been able to shadow-walk. As always he seemed to read my thoughts and turned me to face him, head tilted in amusement. He backed several paces away and I knew our training would begin.

But instead of reaching out with his shadows, he held me with his visored gaze, willing me to at long last draw upon my anger, his own rising and coiling. I didn't even hesitate though I knew I should. I allowed the anger to come forth as it had against the killer, to build and grow as it had so many times in the armour.

I felt the anger take over, the almost blinding desire to kill fill me to overflowing. I snarled, wanting a target, wanting something, someone to kill just so I could. I didn't care at that point who it was. I looked at Vile, feeling to last vestiges of self-control slipping. In mere seconds, I knew, he would be the target of my endless hate. Then his visored gaze caught mine, holding it, willing me to temper my rage, to see beyond the immediate target in front of me, to think of the killer. He was setting me free to attack and kill from there if I was able.

He taught me to follow the night to seek the cave from where we were. His power and shadows led my own through the night and I could see the cave, could almost see the killer in my mind's eye. We attacked in concert, but they defended themselves at once. I noted they weren't fighting back, only defending and redoubled my efforts, but as hard as we tried, and we were both attacking with abandon at this point, their defenses held. We were simply too far for a kill, though some of our shadows did seem to break through and slash them.

I felt Vile draw me back, his own anger cooling, him willing mine to calm as well. Then I was aware of the field again, and Vile standing close to me, staring at me intently. I could feel his pleasure, his exultation at the attack. His shadows started to lengthen and reached me, snaking up my armoured body, finding the area at my jaws where I touched my armour, and for him, for his shadowy touch, it fell away. He approached, his gaze delighted behind his vizor.

I should have been afraid, I should have been terrified that Vile built weaknesses into my armour he could exploit, but it only made sense to me. I stood calmly and let him come, returning his steady gaze, but not challenging him. Vile didn't seem to be in a mood to be challenged. He stopped a few paces from me, titling his head in amusement, waiting for me to say something. "That was fun, you should let me off the leash more often." I said, going with the truth.

Vile shook in silent laughter, obviously delighted.

"I don't suppose we can go after them right now, can we?" I asked, trying my sweetest smile on him. Vile shook his head, still clearly amused. I was well aware I was a pet to him, and that he could kill me easily, no matter how hopeful Skulduggery was that he couldn't. He closed the distance, his gaze softer now, as if he was looking at his favoured hunting dog.

He brought a gauntleted hand up, running it through my hair. I've never liked having my hair touched, hated it, really, but it was OK when he did it, better than OK. Great actually. I closed my eyes and couldn't restrain myself from pressing my head up to meet his touch, and I thought I heard him make a pleased sound.

I opened my eyes in surprise, and he put the other hand securely on my waist, the fingers flexing until he found a purchase the pleased him. Vile was much clearer in his intent than Skulduggery ever was, much less concerned about restraint. I bit my lip to keep from yelping in surprise as the other hand left my hair and traveled down to the small of my back, finding the exact spot he seemed to know about without ever having been told.

My hands went up automatically coming to rest on his chest, and I gritted my teeth so I wouldn't whimper out loud. Vile pressed me forward, flush to him and the icy cold would have made me collapse if he hadn't been holding me so tightly. He bent his head down, and I needed no encouragement to meet his kiss, the icy-cold armour searing itself onto my lips, causing my heart to surge dangerously in response. Then his shadows rose, embracing us both, and we were back home.

Vile backed away, tilted his head to me as his shadows swirled up around him and was gone.

* * *

Skulduggery sauntered into the house about fifteen minutes later, leading me to our office. "Good evening Valkyrie. I trust you enjoyed your training session." He chirruped. I nodded, trying not to smile too broadly. Skulduggery was happiest pretending Vile was a completely different person and that worked fine for me, so long as he never tried to kill me in a jealous rage.

"I've called Ghastly." He said happily, setting the coffee pot on and turning on the radio. "He isn't exactly thrilled Vile 'let you off the leash' as you put it, but your attack in your dream, and then your attack in concert with Vile must have down something, because there was a massive power surge in the park even civilians felt, then nothing. I think the two of you did a lot of work for one night, and Vile built you much better than he realized." Skulduggery sat, rifled through his files, then looked over at me, pleased. "We don't make notes about this part of the case, as a matter of fact our files are to 'disappear'. So enjoy looking at them if you like, I feel like reading if you don't mind. Ah, your coffee, there you go."

He served me then sat down contentedly resuming 'The Gentleman Detective' where he'd left off. I shrugged and sipped my coffee. There was never any telling how he'd react to anything, and I wondered briefly if we'd really destroy our files, but I knew we had to. I had Skulduggery to protect, after all, and Ghastly. I cleared my throat holding the files over the metal trash bin before drawing flames into my other hand. He looked up and nodded happily. The flames consumed the files leaving behind only light ashy paper.

I sat back down, relaxing and listening to the soft music that poured into the room. Skulduggery was making soft sounds of appreciation as he read, and the sight of him enjoying himself made me happy. He not only remembered what Vile did this time, he was _pleased_ with what Vile did. I closed my eyes briefly, relaxing back into my chair. We might be four days out, but it felt like we had the upper hand. We'd proven that even at a vast distance Vile and I could strike to the point of causing pain, we'd even wounded our attackers.

So I had some rare time off if even only for several hours. I considered getting out my music player, but the music Skulduggery had on honestly wasn't bad. Mostly instrumental jazz, and I think I recognized I was fairly surprised when 'Moanin'' by Charles Mingus came on that he didn't bolt out of his chair, but he seemed lost in the novel.

I tried really hard to remind myself jazz was music, sort of. I just appreciated music with lyrics in general and though I was well aware the song was saying something I had no idea what it was. Skulduggery lifted his skull, clearly listening. He looked faintly surprised, then turned back to his book with a grunt. I was surprised a man who swore to only love American music from the 30s to the 50s could listen to it, let alone appreciate it. Of course people always assumed he meant popular music, and I'd never seen anything make him cringe faster that popular music from those eras.

Lean Horne came on singing 'Stormy Weather' and I felt my shoulders relax. I got up and left the office of course before Skulduggery had one more artist to relentlessly tease me about. I knew if he knew about having her music or anything by Eartha Kitt he'd never let me hear the end of it. It was good I supposed, he didn't know about the old record player and the rather warped 78s I'd collected. I wondered how much was my own personal taste and how much was just near-constant exposure to the era from him had dictated my taste. I supposed it was both, I slipped my headphones on, walking back into the room as the song ended, studiously ignoring the radio.

I was toggling through my music, I did have a lot of nice normal modern music to choose from, and I figured I needed something to combat the relaxed feeling running through my veins or Skulduggery would know something was up. I swear the music player had a mind of it's own. I tried for LMFAO, and hit shuffle instead of play so 'I Want to be Evil' by Eartha Kitt came on instead. I laughed, putting my head down on my folded arms, convulsing in helpless laughter.

I heard Skulduggery clear his throat, and his was looking at me over his book, I shook my head, still laughing, and switched my player off. He looked rather annoyed. "Cosmic humour." I said, and he left it at that, with a snort of contempt.

"If you want to play with that thing, go into the living room or something." He said, clearly annoyed. He turned back to his book and I did get up, strolling outside to look up into the night sky. How I wanted a full moon to gaze at, but the barest sliver of the dying moon hung in the sky. I didn't know why I felt that I had to hide this part of me from Skulduggery, especially when he'd asked me not to, and I could almost imagine the annoyed grunt Cú Sídhe would have given me for hiding. But I only trusted Skulduggery so far, some things were too important, too personal to let him see.

Music in a way was my lifeline, it helped me make sense of the world and some artists or songs I just wouldn't show my reaction to around him. It amused him, and frankly his amusement hurt even if he meant nothing wrong by it. Skulduggery was never going to be the type of man to nod and agree with everything I liked. He was insulting to the extreme whenever he had the chance.

I got my music player out, scrolling through it, looking for something to soothe me, I was way too upset, and for no good reason. I wanted the modern music I did like and used to annoy him, but that was going to help me right now. I needed something joyous. Of course. I shut off my music player and brought out my phone, going to a video site. I plugged in my headphones on the off chance that Skulduggery would come out and surprise me, and brought up the 'Ode an die Fruede' flashmob. I had to grin, it was amazing to see classical music effect people the way it did, it was a type of magic most sorcerors would envy.

As the music swelled and more members of the orchestra showed up I felt my misery melt away, not able to resist the urge to sing along, however softly. There was something noble in the song a pure celebration of nature by one of the greatest composers who had ever lived. The applause at the end was infectious and I couldn't help a little fist pump of appreciation. I made a mental note to go to Sabadell some day, preferably on my own or Skulduggery would never let me hear the end if it.

I shut my mobile and looked up, Skulduggery was standing in front of me, his hands stuffed in his pockets. He cocked his head to one side. Skulduggery offered a hand, helping me rise, a look of utter wonder on his face.

"Where on Earth did you learn to sing in German?" He asked, sounding utterly charmed. I shrugged, just relieved he wasn't teasing me about it, and made to walk past him. Skulduggery stopped me, his hands on my shoulders. "There's a lot about you I'll never know, isn't there?" He asked, the wonder still in his voice.

I grinned and nodded, going to walk on. But he stopped me again, with a questioning look, so I obligingly sat back down with him, and he looped one arm around me loosely as I played the video for him, enjoying the utter delight and rapture that came to his skeletal features. I had to admit that for a man that didn't own one classical album as far as I knew Skulduggery Pleasant had unknown depths to him.

* * *

 **Hope you liked it and if you haven't seen the 'Ode to Joy' flashmob you seriously need to check it out. There might be others but the one from Sabadell is wonderful.**


	41. Chapter 41

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Gordon, China, Ghastly, Lord Vile, or Valkyrie. Yes, Val is still 24 and the story is still in her POV. Goodness gracious, it isn't as if I'm going to make her 80 on a whim. I could, though. I will whip out my mad Capitan Picard skills and 'Make it so'. Don't test me on this, people!

* * *

Skulduggery looked at me as he led me back inside and his tone was apologetic. "I meant somewhere in the house, Valkyrie. Not the front lawn." I smiled leaning into him, feeling the chill that had seeped into his bones when I rested my head on his shoulder briefly.

"I wanted to be outside, Skulduggery. I figured you'd be immersed in your book and wouldn't notice, actually."

He held me close after shutting the door. "I felt guilty as soon as you left the room. I didn't mean to snap, not at you."

"Of course you did, Skulduggery, and I'm OK with that. I got on your nerves, and I get that. I'm not made of glass you know, I don't break that easily." His grip increased and he rested his skull on the top of my head.

"Mmm. Still, I apologize, it's just this case. I don't like you being in danger. But you don't have to hide things from me you know, you can be honest with me." He rubbed his hands up and down my back, seeking to soothe me, to soothe himself. I returned the gesture, touching his spine as well. I loved him so much at that moment I was surprised my heart didn't burst in two. But I wasn't about to go all mushy on him, so I hid my feelings with humour.

"If I were honest with you, Skulduggery, you'd know everything about me, and where's the fun in that? You'd get bored, the mystery would be solved."

"Never. How could you even think of such a thing?" He said, missing the joke.

"You get bored and irritated with me all the time, Skulduggery. I'm annoying you even now, I can see it on your face. But that's OK. Mostly." I was still teasing, I figured my grin had to be a dead giveaway, but he pulled back suddenly.

He sighed, rubbing his skull in frustration. "Please tell me this isn't a roundabout way to tell me you think our impending marriage is a mistake." He was being serious, being honest, so I answered him honestly.

"No, not in the main part. But what are you going to do with me, Skulduggery? What about the times when we won't have a case for days or weeks? How will you possibly tolerate my presence? You love me as your best friend, yes, as your partner as well. But as a person to live with? Can you handle that?"

"You make it sound as if I don't love you, aren't in love with you." He said, turning away. "This wouldn't be an attempt to avoid marrying a skeleton, would it? I'm well aware my appearance must give you nightmares. I don't blame you for not wanting to be with me Valkyrie, I truly don't."

"Skulduggery-"

"No, let's be blunt. I can never give to you what a man of flesh and blood can give. You can never pretend that I'm soft and comforting like flesh. I'm bones and nothing else. I can't even hold you to my chest at night because I know I'll hurt you, that my bones are too hard for you to lay against."

"Skulduggery, that doesn't matter. I love you, you know that."

"Do you? Do you really love me? The people who say 'I love you' the most are often the people who mean it the least. I taught you that, Valkyrie."

"Skulduggery, how did this turn into an argument? You usually know when I'm teasing. I assumed you didn't want to hold me, that it was some sort of man thing about not wanting to be touched. Of course you're hard, you are, as you point out a skeleton, but need I remind you that is a point in your favour? If I'm having any nightmares about being with you, and yes, there have been a few, they involve hurting you to be honest."

"What?"

"You, uh, do tend to pull apart at times in combat, you don't have any flesh to protect your bones, Skulduggery, to be truthful half the time I'm terrified of hurting you without meaning to. Seeing you fall apart that day we fought the Death Bringer only reinforced the idea. It's part of the reason I never mentioned anything to you."

"So your only problem with intimacy would be...hurting me?" He sounded amused.

I flushed and looked down at the floor. "Yes, actually. I could, well, pull you apart at the very least- Oh, God."

He laughed, sweeping me into a tight embrace. "I'm sure we can learn the extent we can go to, honestly I'm flattered you're worried about it. If it wouldn't hurt like the devil I could always had screws put in to hold me together."

"Skulduggery!" I blushed furiously, and he laughed again, kissing me chastely before releasing me. "You're fun to tease. We'll figure something out, I promise. If you aren't too tired why not watch some TV with me, hmm?"

"You hate TV."

"But I can learn to like it if you keep me entertained. Maybe we'll be able to see stupid people falling off of stuff again. I liked that." I laughed and we went in to settle in front of the TV, Skulduggery being sure I had my coffee. I found the cooking channel and snuggled in close with him.

"Skulduggery?"

"Mmm?"

"You were kidding about me being the first partner you fed, right?"

"Honestly? No. I assumed the others could feed themselves, and I really didn't care if they did or not. I used to be a lot colder than I am now, Valkyrie. But with your uncle Gordon, and with you, I made exceptions."

"Wow."

"Wow, indeed. I'll admit that I'm self-centered to the point where if feeding you didn't give me pleasure I wouldn't do it. But I like you as a friend, I care about you as a partner, so I enjoy providing for you."

"At least you're honest. No, what am I saying? You lie like a rug half the time."

"Only to further the cause of justice." He assured me.

"That, and it amuses you to see how gullible people are."

"Well, yes, it does. But I never lie to you, you know. Well, not most of the time. I enjoy teasing you because I like you. Be glad you didn't know me as a child. I'd have dropped lizards on you."

"But I like lizards, Skulduggery."

"Then I would have found something you dislike, just to watch you squeal and jump."

"Boys are strange."

"That we are, and we never grow up either. Why do you think I let you nearly get knocked off a roof? I know you hate heights."

"Skulduggery! You said your shoelace was untied!"

"I lied." He grinned, pleased with himself to no end.

"Why look, Skulduggery. That dish looks so tempting!" I enthused. On the screen people were dipping small forks into cooked bones, devouring the marrow. Mercifully, I changed the channel after seeing him cringe in horror.

"That just wasn't right. It should be illegal, doing that to a poor skeleton who never harmed a soul." He muttered.

"I'm fairly sure those were cow bones." I said, rolling my eyes.

"But you'd never know, would you? Could have been some poor, down on his luck skeleton who got caught by some chef, who then boiled him alive." He faked sobbing, covering his eye sockets with his hands. I patted his back.

"I'll never let them get you, Skulduggery. I promise. After all, if anyone's ever going to cook you, it'll be me. You don't boil skeletons by the way, you roast them in the oven. Usually you have to chop them into bits first..."

He faked sobbing again, then turned to me with a wicked grin. "Just like you roast beautiful young partners, hmm?" He mock grabbed at me, and I obligingly squealed.

"Go, fierce man of bones! I am still young!" I quoted, giggling helplessly, while he growled and commenced tickling me. I batted helplessly at his hands, and he grinned down at me, pleased.

"Be of good cheer, I am not fierce. Softly shall you sleep in my arms!" He quoted in return, wrapping his arms around me. "I honestly had no idea you liked Franz Schubert. You are just a wealth of hidden facets tonight."

"That makes two of us. Remind me never to underestimate you again."

He smiled helping me to sit up. "I don't suppose you like any other types of music I should know about? You know, I honestly don't even know your favourite song, that's rather depressing."

"I don't have just one, usually whatever I'm listening to at the moment, the same with musical artists."

"Still, there has to be one song you love more than any other. What is it?"

"Currently? Either 'Tower of Song' by Tom Jones or 'Hurt' by Johnny Cash."

"Those aren't cheerful songs, are they?"

"Not especially, no, but they do make me happy. Dad loved Johnny Cash. To round out my top three I'd pick 'Hello Zepp' by Charlie Clouser. But that's this week mind you, next week it will be something completely different."

"Mmm."

"Do you have any favourites, Skulduggery?"

He waved a skeletal hand vaguely. "I don't think I do, actually. I love jazz of course, some classical, but an actual song per se? No. Because one song never fits every situation, does it? But I'd suppose anything by Frank Sinatra."

"You know, Skulduggery, I've noticed you avoid popular music, you also avoid the blues and country. Come to think of it, you never listen to any Irish artists I could name either."

"Yes, well, there's a very good reason for that."

"Of course there is, you're a musical snob."

"No, I'm not!"

"Can you even name an Irish pop artist?"

"Uh, no." He admitted. "But I'm sure you can't either." He added smugly.

"Enya, Sinéad O'Connor, The Chieftains, U2, Thin Lizzy. Good Lord, Skulduggery, you don't know any of them, do you?" He shook his head and I sighed, turning back to the TV.

"But I can always learn." He said.

* * *

It was very late when we at last climbed into bed, Skulduggery nudging me into going to get a bath first. I should have expected the coffee and turned down bed awaiting me when I came out, but I hadn't because I was trying very hard not to take a single thing he did for granted. I kissed him deeply when I got in, making sure he knew how I felt for him. He looked bemused, but waited patiently for me to finish my coffee and shut out the light. He reached for my hand and I took his, but he had to know he was loved, that we would find a way to make things work.

"Skulduggery? Would you put your arm behind me, under my neck?"

"I think that would hurt, so no, sorry."

"Please?"

"I said, 'no' Valkyrie, try and get some sleep." He released my hand and I imagined he'd folded his hands on his chest to meditate. That was a problem as I needed to worm closer to him and his outstretched arm would have been the first step. I considered faking tears, but he didn't strike me as the type of man to cave in to them.

But he was competitive. Extremely competitive. I repressed my smile, knowing full well he could see in the dark, and spoke. "That's OK, Skulduggery. Really. Lord Vile would be a lot better at it that you anyhow."

He cursed, then growled. "Lift your head." He ordered gruffly, and I obliged feeling his arm come to rest under my neck. I adjusted my neck a bit, fitting myself onto the upper part of his humerus.

I edged a bit closer to him, aware his ribs were temptingly close.

"Settle down and go to sleep." He ordered. He seemed agitated, and I wasn't sure if I had accidentally frustrated him or somehow hurt him. I went to move away and his arm closed around me. The movement brought me into his ribs, the back of my head now resting partly on his clavicle, shoulder joint, and ribs as well as his humerus. "Stay put."

I had to admit it to myself, it hurt, but I stayed still. Skulduggery was about as comfortable as laying in a field of rocks, but I relaxed myself into him, ignoring the pain, trying to let myself mold into and around him. I reached down and gently grasped the hand that protectively held me. "I'm hurting you, aren't I?" His voice was sad, regretful. Before I could answer he was unwinding his arm from around me, but I turned into him, stubbornly clinging on, burrowing my head into his clavicle.

He tried to push me away and I clung tighter still, hooking one leg around him in sheer refusal to let go. "Valkyrie. Let. Go. Now." There was something in his voice that made me let go instantly. He got up, and I sensed he had turned his back to me. I thought again perhaps I'd done something in my inexperience to frustrate him, but I knew in my heart that wasn't it.

I heard him get up and the door opening and shutting as he silently left. I pounded my fist into the bed in silent frustration. We could have made it work! Why did I have to let go? I cursed myself for being a fool. I waited the longest time, but he didn't come back to bed. At last I fell into a fitful sleep filled with nightmares where he left in the Bentley, never to return.

* * *

When I got up the next morning I found a note on the kitchen table, Skulduggery's engagement ring resting on top of it. I read it several times, my disbelief growing each time I read it.

"Valkyrie,

I'm at the Sanctuary, your presence is not required. Don't try ringing, my mobile is off. I've also removed the tracer from the Bentley. Tonight I think we should sleep separately, it's for the best for both of us. Obviously, marriage is out of the question as well. Perhaps it would be best if you left, I can handle the investigation from here on out.

Regards,

Skulduggery"

I wanted to implode with rage. First I wanted to kill him, then I wanted to implode with rage. But wait, if he was at the Sanctuary, wouldn't Ghastly have rung me? Also, why on Earth would he remove the tracer if he was going somewhere as innocent as the Sanctuary? All my fears and insecurities came flooding back at once and I knew it had nothing to do with a magical attack. He was with China, he had to be. Or someone else. A more experienced lover who could adapt to his hard bones. I had visions of China curled around him even now and my heart went icy-cold as a pitiful cry of anguish escaped my lips.

I knew she'd do it perfectly too, adapting perfectly to him, reacting in the ways that would please him the most. I could see her, laughing, enjoying him, enjoying her victory. How could I have been so stupid not to have seen the truth the night they danced? No, I had, I just hadn't wanted to admit it. Well, if he wanted different beds he'd get them. I called a taxi and was soon home at Uncle Gordon's mansion. My home, I guessed, for the immediate future. I knew Uncle Gordon was aware of my presence, but to his credit he didn't call out to me. He had a sixth sense for when I needed time alone.

I went to his old bedroom, dragging out the battered acoustic guitar I'd hidden under the bed. I cradled the old acoustic guitar I hid from the world into my body and ran through just about every song I could think of, trying to run the gamut of my emotions, though truth be told there weren't too many for humiliation, though Gordon Lightfoot was proving to be quite the inspiration. At last I stilled the strings and my voice, feeling worse than before. This wasn't a magical attack though. Nor was it sulking as Skulduggery would have called it. I'd lost him. Somehow in one stupid attempt to get closer, I'd lost him. I started to play one more song but stopped when my mobile rang.

I took it out and looked. Ghastly. I didn't want to talk to him, but I supposed duty called. "Valkyrie? Do you know where Skulduggery is?" My heart went icy cold at his words.

"He's not at the Sanctuary?" I asked dully.

"No, and he rang in over four hours ago saying he was coming in without you. Ah, never mind, his Bentley just pulled up front now, sorry to alarm you." Alarm me? He'd put the nails into the coffin I'd bury my future marriage in, but I was hardly alarmed. Four hours was more than enough time for him to go see someone, wasn't it? He'd warned me about men not liking to be frustrated. I knew there were women who would be with him and enjoy it too.

I put the guitar back in the case very calmly. I wasn't going to scream, I wasn't going to hurt myself, I wasn't going to die, not for him. I walked to Gordon's hidden study, knocking before I entered. He took one look at me and sighed. "What is it this time?" I held out the note Skulduggery had left so he could read it, and the ring. His face went pale and he looked at me, then shook his head sadly. "I'm so sorry, Valkyrie, truly I am."

"Not as sorry as I am. What did I do wrong, Uncle Gordon? I did absolutely everything I could think of and it still wasn't enough. Maybe, maybe he never loved me. I was told once he was incapable of love, that he couldn't feel real emotions."

"I honestly can't answer you, Valkyrie. Skulduggery is a difficult man to know. He never lets people any closer than he wants them to be. I swear to you that the man who came to my office, who asked for my permission to court you, is not the man who left you this morning."

I looked up in surprise. "He did?"

Gordon nodded sadly. "Yes, and each time he returned, still afraid to say anything to you I was sure he felt something for you. I'd truly hate to think my best friend would have used my favourite niece as some sort of emotional experiment, but I just don't know. I curse the day I met the man, I truly do."

"So do I Uncle, but you know what?" I asked, a smile creeping onto my face.

"What?" He asked happily, glad to be in on whatever I was plotting.

"We're writers, Uncle Gordon. We can get our revenge for the whole world to see in print. Let's say I order take away and we write something really horrid and spiteful?"

He chuckled and stood, hugging me the best he could. "That's the niece I know and love, not the one who just played bad music for an hour. You've got quite the singing voice though." I laughed and dug out my mobile, ordering tons of indulgent take away. Who cared about a proper diet when she was starting off for revenge most literary? An hour later the food was there and we were trading the most spiteful and petty ideas we had when my mobile rang.

Ghastly again. "Valkyrie? Are you OK? Skulduggery told me to stop work on your dress."

"I know, I found out about that hours ago, dad, but I know how much you love surprises. Don't worry I'm face deep in take away and plotting my revenge as we speak."

Ghastly sighed. "Please tell me it won't involve a wood chipper."

"Goodness no, Uncle Gordon and I are going to do what writers do best. We're going to take his reputation and tear it into itty, bitty, shreds. Then we're going to throw them into the air and have a ticker-tape parade."

Ghastly laughed. "That's a Bespoke for you. I am changing your last name legally, by the way." He teased.

"Do it!" I encouraged. "Then the next time you make him a suit get your own revenge, it'll be lots of fun."

He laughed and rang off. I looked at Uncle Gordon and we both burst out laughing. He turned on the radio by voice command, modern music coming out. 'Street Music' by REdrama came on, and we both started to move to the beat.

"Goodness, does everyone today curse this much?" Gordon asked, amused.

"Uncle, that song is MILD compared to some artists today."

"I'll take your word for it. Of course with some of the words I use in my books I can hardly talk. Maybe I should write rap lyrics. What do you think?" He teased.

"I think you'd be great at it, Uncle, to be honest. Also this is the prefect song for when you just got jilted. It reminds you there's still things to live for. Like good music and take away."

"That's the right way to look at this. You're free now to find a man who will appreciate you. You're aren't in denial or delayed shock are you? I fooled myself for years that your mother would come back to me."

I smiled at him softly. "I'm good, Uncle Gordon, really. It's actually a relief in a way. Skulduggery is so intense I had to watch everything I said, there was so much he wouldn't tell me. To tell you the truth, I'm glad to be done with the drama." As if on command 'Family Affair' by Mary J. Blige came on and we both laughed. We chatted and just hung out for hours, listening to music in between Uncle Gordon's stories about his own misspent youth.

It was a good day, a day of letting go of things, of expunging the past, and somehow it felt right to let go of Skulduggery. I knew I deserved better. I knew too that there were wonders in the future I could hardly dream of. So when at long last I did leave Uncle Gordon's study in the late afternoon I was at peace with myself and the mobile rang and I took it out. Skulduggery. I smiled and very calmly removed the battery from the phone. I was free at last from his drama and I was never going back.

* * *

 **Dearie me! Is this the end for Detectives Pleasant and Cain? Are the wedding bells not going to peal? Will Skulduggery face the cave spirit and killer on his own and end up smashed to bits? Stay tuned to find out!**


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Gordon, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, still her POV. Extreme Valduggery ahead, you have been warned.

* * *

I hadn't walked ten steps when heavy fists started pounding on the front door. I was half way down the stairs when an all too familiar voice thundered at me, accented by blows so hard the door shook in its frame. "Valkyrie Cain, you open this door _now_!" Skulduggery Pleasant roared.

"Go away, Skulduggery, it's over!" I yelled back, not about to give up my freedom. If he thought he could pull what he'd pulled and just walk back into my life he was mistaken.

"Valkyrie! I am warning you, you open this door now!"

I reached the foot of the stairs and crossed to the door. "Or you'll what, Skulduggery? Hit me like you're hitting the door? Go away, we're over! I NEVER want to see you again, EVER!"

"Valkyrie," His voice was dangerously calm. "Valkyrie, back away from the door, please. I'm coming in."

"I'm backing away because I'm going upstairs, Skulduggery! You do anything to that door and I'll have Cleavers here so fast it will make your head spin." I turned and had stomped half way back up the stairs when the front door exploded inwards. I turned in shock, looked down at Skulduggery as he stepped through the now empty doorframe. He looked up at me, his chest heaving. The look on his skeletal face was wild, lost. He was terrified out of his mind. Skulduggery held his hands up to me in helpless entreaty.

"Valkyrie!" He breathed. I couldn't hold the tears back as I ran down the stairs to meet him. He wrapped his long arms around me, his entire body convulsing with his sobs. His grief was vocal. A frightening wail that only grew in intensity as his arms wrapped tighter and tighter still. "Valkyrie!" He rasped. Then he was kissing me desperately, bringing his teeth down on my mouth, then my cheeks and forehead, the top of my head, my neck. Repeatedly he sought out new places, pressing his teeth wherever he dared, his hands roaming in agitation, clutching when he could no longer stand not holding me in them.

My hands stroked him back just as feverishly, finding his ribs, his spine, his neck, the top of his skull, knocking his hat to the floor in the process. I kissed him back, pouring all my my soul into every kiss, making contact with his forehead, then his jawline, then his neck, I desperately grabbed at his collar so I could place deep kisses on either clavicle.

Skulduggery groaned in utter misery, still not convinced I wanted him back. He repeatedly his process of feverish kisses, trailing them down my neck, adding gentle nips in between, repeating my name as his hands roved restlessly, gripping my clothing tightly. "Skulduggery!" I gasped at last, and he wound his arms tightly around me, bringing his teeth down on my lips with such intensity that I felt an electric current pass through me. I grasped the back of his skull pulling his closer still, and he opened his teeth in invitation, one I knew I had to take.

I couldn't have held back even if I had tried, and at that point I was beyond trying. At long last I could taste him, tracing his upper and lower teeth in wonder. I repeatedly caressed his maxilla bone, and he cried out, groaning, his entire frame shaking as he begged me to repeat the action. I complied and then he opened his jaws wide, nipping me firmly above and below my lips, pressing down, desperate to elicit sounds from me as well. I couldn't hold back my helpless whimper, and then his hands were roving once more, going ever closer to places he hadn't dared touch before, and he was nipping my neck without mercy. I returned the favour, only to feel him use him newly found talent to breathe in, his nasal cavity buried firmly in my neck, the resulting suction drawing a yelp of surprise from me.

I felt his entire body jerk in response and he reared back, his teeth finding my lips again, but this time far more calmly. His caresses were much more sedate now, and he was putting all the affection he could in each tender kiss, looking at me in between kisses. "Valkyrie." He breathed one more, caressing my face. "Valkyrie, please! I need you! I need my bride!" His whole body started to tremble and I realized he was crying again. I couldn't hate him then, any idea of being cruel to get my revenge evaporated and his tremors increased and the eerie, keening wail resumed.

I kissed him fully, as any lover would. I stroked his skull, repeating his name. "Skulduggery! Skulduggery! Don't you ever do something like that again, do you hear me?" I was crying again as I kissed him, my entire body shaking. He wrapped his arms around me, drawing me into a chaste kiss, his own body trembling.

"Valkyrie Cain, I love you." He whispered brokenly. He placed his teeth on my lips again, then drew back slightly, fear of rejection written on his skeletal features.

"I love you too, Skulduggery." I said, drawing him back in for a final magnificent kiss. We remained that way for the longest time, and when we at last parted it felt like part of me went with him. He was reaching for me again and I realized he not only didn't have a disguise on but his gloves were gone as well. I didn't ask any questions, I only took out his ring and slipped it on his finger, taking out the note with the other hand and letting the flames I drew consume it.

* * *

Several minutes later I watched in amusement as he first had to clean up the mess he created, then installed yet another door. "Skulduggery, where did you go when you left this morning?"

"You want the truth?" He looked at me, uncertainty written on his face.

"I'd appreciate it."

"I went to find a way to kill myself."

"You what?"

"Valkyrie!" Then I was in his arms again, and he was kissing me deeply. He drew back to look at me in his misery and tears started to pour from his eye sockets, and I kissed them, whispering his name repeatedly.

"God, Skulduggery. Why? Don't you know how much I love you?"

"I hurt you without even trying, Valkyrie! Do you have any idea how much worse our wedding night would be? I've never even been with a woman since I died, as far as I know I could seriously hurt you by trying to- You weren't- A woman's body was never designed to consummate a union with a skeleton." He pulled away.

"Oh, Skulduggery!" I reached for him, but he backed away, shaking his head.

"No Valkyrie! I'll hurt you, I know I will. I had to leave our bed last night because I couldn't bear the thought of no longer holding you, and I know I was causing you pain. Oh God, Valkyrie, you don't know how much my heart is breaking right now. I love you, but it would be utter cruelty to ask you to marry me. Yet, I can't _not_ marry you. Valkyrie!"

I went to him, holding his skull gently in my hands, refusing to let him turn away. "Skulduggery, we will find a way. I wanted to last night, you just gave up too quickly. Being with you felt just fine when I was wrapped around you. Don't you think any lover would have places on him I might not be comfortable lying against? You should have given me more time, allowed me to move to adjust to your body. I adore you Skulduggery. I WANT to be with you. Please. We have to be together. I love you."

"But Valkyrie, when we marry, there won't even be a layer of clothing to pad my bones from you."

"I thought you intended to sleep with your suit on."

"I do, just not on our wedding night, obviously. Though if I were a bad guy I'd plan my attack for then. But it would be very hard to show you how I feel with too many clothes between us." He purred, pressing into me with a sigh of relief, one skeletal hand caressing my hair as the other found my waist. "Forgive me?" He asked, his velvety voice hopeful.

"For what? You got frightened, Skulduggery. Though had you managed to hurt yourself, that I wouldn't forgive you for, not ever."

He pressed his forehead into mine. "I suppose it would be very greedy of me to ask for another kiss before letting you go?" I smiled and kissed him in reply.

* * *

We did eventually make it to Gordon's private study. He glared at Skulduggery who clutched my hand, refusing to let go.

"What right do you have destroying yet another door, Skulduggery, and carrying on like a bean sídhe? Where on Earth is your disguise? Don't tell me you drove here like that!"

"No, no, I took it off on the front porch."

"In broad daylight? God, man, think!" He turned to me and his expression softened. "You don't even have to say a word, Valkyrie. I know you love him. I think you're marrying the village idiot, but you have my blessing for what it's worth."

I smiled, turning to look at Skulduggery. "He's right. You are the village idiot, but I'm marrying you anyhow."

Skulduggery nodded. "I can see how it is. A shotgun wedding. I always knew you'd resort to violence, Valkyrie." His voice was slightly brittle, but it was good to hear him teasing again.

I leaned in and kissed him, drawing a contented sigh from him, and a groan of disgust from Uncle Gordon. "Oh please, Valkyrie. Do you have to kiss him in front of me? I mean really, now. The man has no shame, but you know better. God."

I grinned at his display of mock disgust. Uncle Gordon indicated he wanted a few minutes alone with Skulduggery, and I reluctantly left then, going downstairs. I knew then of course that my sense of freedom and contentment hours earlier had been false bravado on my part. I needed Skulduggery. I hadn't imagined he needed me so desperately in return that he'd try and kill himself rather than live without me. I was thankful that if he had tried it hadn't worked. I hadn't seen any broken bones, but I wouldn't ask him, I couldn't cause him that type of pain.

When he at last joined me in the living room he didn't even have to as me to slide over into his lap so he could hold me tight against him. He kissed me again, tenderly, his smooth skeletal hands roaming freely over my body. I caressed his skull, worked a hand down to his neck, stroking the vertebrae gently, listening for changes in the soft murmurs he was making to tell if my touch pleased him or not. My lips found his teeth after the briefest parting, and I kissed him as fully as possible, not resisting when he once again parted his teeth, matching them with my lips, but not daring to go as far as I had earlier.

He repeated the invitation, still making soft murmurs. "Valkyrie, please. Don't back away, please." I took his invitation then, sure my heart was going to beat out of my chest then and there. His reaction was more controlled this time, but suddenly he had shifted, and I was on my back on the couch, Skulduggery on top of me, letting his full weight come to rest on me, however briefly.

I pulled him back down gently. He was heavy, but his weight against me felt wonderful. I sighed happily as he settled his skull on my shoulder, his long arms wrapped around me. His hips rested on mine, and he'd somehow managed to put his legs between my own, but there was nothing sexual in his gesture. He wanted held, and I obliged him, listening to his soft sounds of appreciation. I kissed the top of his skull and he nuzzled into me, his teeth finding my jaw for a kiss, then a gentle series of nips so soft that I barely felt them.

"You behave, Mister, or I'll nibble on you." I teased.

"Nibbling sounds like a wondrous idea." He replied, starting in on my earlobe.

"Skulduggery!" I giggled.

"Hmm?" He asked, pressing his nasal bone into a rather sensitive area of my neck. I gasped at the sensation and heard him chuckle slightly. "I'm remembering that for our wedding night, you know. But that isn't where I'll be pressing."

"Skulduggery Pleasant!"

"Saying my name already, are we? Then I simply must let you up." He rose, looking at me with an expression half way between smug and satisfied.

"You are a terrible man."

"I never said I wasn't. You'll be happy to know Ghastly has resumed work on your dress, but not before threatening to do things to me I wouldn't repeat in front of a lady. I'll tell you though, since you're no lady."

"Very funny."

"I'm always funny."

"No, you're always annoying."

"Funny, or you get to practice celibacy on your wedding night."

"Fine by me, since that would include you by default."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"You started it."

"And now I'm ending it. Now where was I? Ah yes, Ghastly was threatening me, but first admit I'm funny."

"You're funny, all right."

"Be nice."

"Fine, you're funny."

"Right you are. Well, Ghastly threatened to take his shears, you know, the big ones, and do utterly dreadful things to me with them. He promised I'd be a girl skeleton by the time he finished. He said it in perfect Gaeilge too."

"I imagine he did." I smiled.

"You seem to be missing the point. He threatened your husband, Valkyrie. Please feel free to call and threaten him in return like a loving wife."

"We aren't married quite yet, Skulduggery."

"A minor detail. You are already my beloved bride, therefore I am your precious husband and you must defend my honour to your father. I insist."

"You're aren't kidding, are you?" I sighed and got my mobile out, putting the battery back in. Ghastly picked up on the third ring.

"I suppose the fool is there with you now? I won't hold it against you if you kill him, Valkyrie. Daddy is good friends with the Grand Mage, go ahead and kill him, sweetie."

I laughed. "But da, I like him!" I mock whined.

Ghastly snorted. "You're dress is coming along quite nicely, though I'd really love to have some bone accents to put on it. I'm sure he told you where I'd like to take them from, the whining git."

"He did."

"You realize the big, brave warrior is hiding behind his wife? God, you've changed him, Valkyrie, and for the better. We don't have any updates so you two try and get along. Not too well until you're married properly of course."

"Dad!" Ghastly just laughed in reply and rang off.

Skulduggery tilted his head quizzically. "You're safe Skulduggery, he isn't going to kill you. He's still working on the dress so you know he intends for the wedding to take place."

Skulduggery nodded. "But what about you, Valkyrie, are you angry at me?"

"Not anymore. I couldn't stay angry, not when you slew yet another fearsome door to defend me."

"Ah, well, he was guarding the castle keep and simply wouldn't move."

"Said the man who can pick locks."

"That would have taken too long, and I was rather upset if you recall."

"I know, Skulduggery, I was too. I think my artifical state of denial was about to come crashing down when you called."

"Then you did miss me?"

"Lord, you're thick."

"I don't like to make assumptions, Valkyrie. Having hurt you, just by wanting to hold you-"

"It was a tiny bit painful, yes, but we could have adjusted. We did fine just now."

"We did at that. But still it hardly seems right to ask you to settle for me."

"I'm not settling. I'm getting the world's only skeleton detective. That counts for a lot, you know."

"So it would seem. But I am serious, Valkyrie. It will hurt when you're with me, I can be tender, but still, you're not meant to be with a skeleton. As gentle as I'd be, I know it would still hurt for you."

"It would be painful with any man the first time, Skulduggery. I know you don't intend to hurt me. I don't intent to let you, I'll let you know if something is too painful."

"You promise? You're wedding night should be pleasurable. I'm not so vain-glorious as to assume I can give you that. Well, yes, yes, I am. I will do my level best and I generally excel at everything I do, but hurting you, causing you pain, it's not something I'm willing to do. I was blunt enough before I think, so you understand my concerns."

"I also know you're highly intelligent and wonderfully inventive, Skulduggery. you won't do wrong by me. I trust you, I do. You were willing to kill yourself to avoid hurting me, because you knew you needed to be with me. Don't you see that? God, Skulduggery, you would literally rather die that hurt me."

He nodded solemnly. "That I would."

* * *

Skulduggery had asked me if I'd like to come home and so I was packing a cardboard box with the remaining takeout humming 'I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen' under my breath. I was still surprised that Skulduggery was at last being serious about his concerns over our wedding night. I was sure it could hurt at points, having once been whacked with a field hockey stick as a young girl and then walking wrong for a week. But I also knew any pain would never be intentional on his part. I had wanted to point out I was aware of a lot more that he seemingly supposed I was, but he liked the idea of my being innocent so I didn't.

Besides we were three days out from the battle, and so far nothing had happened. I felt good enough to start singing as I finished packing the box, wandering into the living room for a few more books I wanted, singing 'Sunshine' by Jonathan Edwards. I was ready and Skulduggery still hadn't come back down, so I went to the foot of the stairs after stowing the box in the rear of the Bentley, cocking my head to listen. I heard his voice, so I relaxed and went back to the living room to wait. Something was bothering me though, and I couldn't place it.

I reached under the couch, drawing out the Colt .45 Defender pistol, making sure the safety was on before slipping her into one of my many jacket pockets. I thought for a moment and reached under for several clips as well. What did I expect to do, get in a shootout with the cave spirit in broad daylight? Still the preparations made me feel better.

I realized the air in the room had shifted and looked up to see Skulduggery watching me, arms folded, his face relaxed. He looked at me for a long moment, then spoke. "Preparing for war, are we? Good, you should be. I don't like our opponents not showing up yet today. Unless of course they were so wounded they can't. Though if you shoot the killer before I do I'll be very sad, Valkyrie."

I laughed and went to him for a hug. He held me close for a moment, then offered me his arm. We walked out to the Bentley, Skulduggery pausing to glare at his most hated enemy, the front door. I shook my head, laughing again.

Skulduggery turned to me, pleased with himself. "That door is simply _evil_ , Valkyrie. It is always between us when I need to get to you quickly. Besides, as I've often said, doors are for people with no imagination. And bad taste, very bad taste. I hate doors, that door specifically." I pulled him down the walkway, towards the Bentley, Skulduggery straining his neck to shoot a parting glare at his hated foe.

* * *

When we got to our front door Skulduggery stopped me after he unlocked the door. Before I could protest he picked me up and carried me in, kissing me deeply before setting me down. "Practice." He said smoothly, clearly preening. I shook my head, then grinned up at him.

"You're a very strange man, Skulduggery Pleasant."

"And yet, here you are with me. The best decision you've ever made, to be honest. Would you- Could you use a lay down? I know I could use the meditation." I smiled and took his proffered hand, allowing him to lead me up to our bedroom. Skulduggery kissed me softly before allowing me to get in, joining me without an invitation for the first time. He smiled, a clear signal that I could get as close as I wanted.

I went over to him, caressing his ribs through his clothes, enjoying the contented sigh the gesture drew from him. I knew he had closed what passed for his eyes, and it gave me the courage I needed to draw closer, coming to rest on his ribcage, the rest of my body angled into his, but not on top of him. Skulduggery growled softly, grabbing me, pulling me the rest of the way onto him. We were flush with each other when he looked at me, then hesitantly drew my head down until I could find a good spot on his clavicle.

I relaxed into him, feeling him shift slightly, trying to arrange himself so he wouldn't hurt me. "Skulduggery, it's OK. You feel good."

"But the gap between my ribs and hips can't exactly be good to lay on."

"Mmm, the framework is holding my up, to be honest. How do you wear it all the time? It has to hurt."

"I will suffer for fashion. Besides, I always like to be ready for combat at a moment's notice. That, and well, I'm not quite as impressive without it, Valkyrie."

"I've seen you with you shirt mostly off, Skulduggery. You're _very_ impressive without it."

"The things you say. I won't have it on for our wedding night of course, you think of that while you sleep." He said in a velvety purr, his skeletal arms coming up to embrace me as we both drifted off into blackness.

* * *

 **Many thanks to my readership for your continued support. If the Valduggery went too far and grossed you out just let me know.**


	43. Chapter 43

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Lord Vile, Ghastly, Tanith, Tipstaff, Erksine, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, story is still in her POV.

* * *

I woke up several hours later to the feeling of a contented Skulduggery stroking my head softly. I tilted my head slightly and he kissed me, grasping the back of my head gently. He sighed contentedly and settled his head back down before speaking. "Sleep well?"

"Yes, I did, Skulduggery."

"Mmm, good, because I'm sure Ghastly is furious with us. I left my mobile on as promised, but it was all the way downstairs, and you are so very nice and warm, so I didn't bother answering. On the plus side, my mobile stopped ringing an hour ago."

"Skulduggery, I left mine in my pocket, I'm sure he called me as well. Why didn't you answer?"

"Oh, that thing? Yes, it kept ringing so I pitched it out into the hall. I'm afraid it might not be working anymore though, it _did_ hit a wall."

I went to get off him, but he held me in place. I sighed and shook my head in disbelief. "You didn't think I'd ever do this with you again, did you? That's why you refused to move. God, you're thick."

"On the contrary, I got just what I wanted, didn't I?" He sounded rather smug.

"Yes, you did. Hopefully it won't cost us both our jobs."

He did let me get up then, his eye sockets locked onto me. I could read the uncertainty in his gaze and leaned back down to kiss him. "I'm fine, Skulduggery. You didn't hurt me, OK? I slept better that I have in a long time."

He looked relieved and was about to reply when my mobile began ringing out in the hall. I went out to get it. Ghastly. "Hello, dad."

"Valkyrie? Where have you two been? I've been trying to reach you for hours. There's been a development in the case. The killer is dead."

"What?"

"I'm serious, get to the Sanctuary as soon as possible, needless to say, this changes things."

We rang off and I looked over at Skulduggery. "The killer's dead."

"What?"

"My reaction exactly, Skulduggery. But Ghastly wants us at the Sanctuary, now."

Skulduggery nodded and got out of bed. "No time to make you coffee, I'm afraid. Get your jacket, make sure you're warm enough." He was hustling me downstairs as he spoke, concern written on his features. I got my jacket as Skulduggery got his and made sure his disguise was secure. He looked over at me, and nodded. "Warm enough?"

"Yes, of course, but the Bentley is warm, Skulduggery."

"We're not taking the Bentley." He opened the door and we stepped outside. Night had fallen, and it was overcast. I looked at Skulduggery for an explanation, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, waiting for me to wrap mine around his neck before we lifted into the air. We went higher and faster, and I knew he was enjoying himself.

"Skulduggery, we're flying there?" I asked, delighted.

"Yes, we'll make better time than in the Bentley, and frankly I wasn't done holding you yet. Just don't try to kiss me or I think we'll crash." I laughed and settled more securely into his embrace. We both knew I could fly on my own, that as his partner I should lighten the load by flying alongside him. But we also knew that if I pulled away now he'd never ask to hold me like this again. "Penny for you thoughts?" He said, picking up speed ever so slightly.

"I think this is amazing, Skulduggery. I never thought I'd get to fly with you again. I love flying with you."

"Good, because I doubt Ghastly will be in any kind of mood to drive us back home."

"I'll just cry like any hysterical daughter and wail he doesn't love me, he'll take us. Trust me, it will work like a charm."

"He'll give you one of those motivational slaps if you do, then I'll have to shoot him. Do you know something? I would too, if he ever hit you. But let's not talk like that or he'll twitch wrong one day and end up in a pine box."

"You're a dangerous man to know, Skulduggery Pleasant."

"I never said I wasn't. When are you going to ask my why Vile didn't shadow-walk you there?"

"Because I like flying better for one, and for two Vile would be attacked on sight. Then I'd have to kill all our co-workers to protect him, not that he needs protecting any more than you do, mind you, and we'd be out of a job."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Skulduggery, if it came down to you and the entire planet, I'd feel rather sorry for the planet, wouldn't you?"

"I would now."

* * *

We landed far too soon, Skulduggery drawing me in for a kiss before we started inside. The Sanctuary was a hive of activity, all of the detectives, and it seemed, the entire staff, rushing about. I smelled a probable demotion, but Erskine just waved cheerfully as we passed his office on the way to see Ghastly. "Good day to be a Dead Man." Skulduggery murmured. I smiled in reply, and we stopped outside the open door. Ghastly was bellowing at full tilt into his mobile, but he waved us in.

"Don't you tell me what the American Sanctuary can do! You step one foot on Irish soil and it will be a deceleration of war. When I find your little spy he'll be sorry you sent him." Ghastly rang off, the rage on his face making his scars seem to almost glow. Tanith sat on the couch, amused. We both knew Ghastly meant what he said. We both also knew that with both Vile and myself as resources, the Sanctuary would be only too happy for the Americans to try something.

Ghastly rolled his eyes at me. "I've been having loads of fun, Valkyrie, in fact I'm nominating you for the open position of Elder so you can join me."

"I'd second the nomination." Skulduggery chirruped happily.

I looked from one man to the other. "You wouldn't dare!"

Ghastly smiled as he put the water on for tea. "Actually if I thought you'd accept, I would. You've got more common sense that most of the people who will be nominated. Erskine even wanted both of you as Elders, but Tipstaff started throwing fits about tradition."

"At least he hasn't said a thing about the lawn." I said, accepting a mug of tea. I looked over at Tanith, then at Ghastly, and he nodded, so I carried am mug over for her as well and sat down.

"Thanks, sis. He's been trying to reach you for hours. What were you two up to?"

"We were sleeping."

"I bet."

"Tanith!"

"Whatever you say, sis, whatever you say. You're dress is coming along nicely, but maybe I should have Ghastly add a blush of some other colour, hmm?"

"I hate you, and no, you shouldn't."

"Seriously?" She looked amazed.

"Seriously, not with Skulduggery, yet, and not before. Not that I see how it's any of your business."

"We're sisters, it _is_ all my business. Tell me you at least have a general idea of what happens on your wedding night."

"I'm not a total moron, sis. That's what my generation has the Internet for."

"And chick sticks." She grinned devilishly. We both burst out laughing, and the men paused to turn and glare at us.

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery barked.

"Tanith!" Ghastly said, almost at the same time.

"Yes, dear." We replied in chorus. The men shook their heads and went back to talking. Tanith and I sat there giggling.

I looked at her with a gleam on my eye. "We keep this up and that's all we we're getting on our wedding nights, too." We both lost it them, convulsing in silent laughter.

"If you two _children_ would like to join the investigation, you're welcome at any time." Skulduggery called over.

"He thinks you're a child and wants to marry you? Run, girl, run!" Tanith whispered. I shushed her and tried to stand, I really did. But I was shaking so hard I couldn't quite make it. Tanith found this extremely funny, of course.

"Ladies!" Skulduggery barked. There was something in his tone that sobered us both up and we went over quietly enough. Skulduggery glared at me and shook his head angrily. I shrugged helplessly, but he was still angry with me.

Ghastly just put his head in his hands. "I swear, if the two of you can't get along for five minutes I'm canceling the wedding."

"This is how we get along, Ghastly." I replied, and he just sighed again.

Skulduggery reached out and grabbed my hand briefly. "Sorry."

"Not a problem, the day you become the model of loving-kindness I'm having you committed." Skulduggery smiled in reply.

* * *

Ghastly walked us down to the morgue, the killer's body already tucked away in the body cooler. We poked through his effects, finding nothing of interest. The overnight worker pulled out the proper drawer, pulling the sheet back so we could see the head and torso. I blinked. This explained the covered face. The skin around the mouth was chewed away, the teeth revealed in a gruesome grin. But there were fresh bite marks all over where we could see, large gouges where flesh had been ripped off in chunks.

"Well?" Ghastly asked. Both he and Skulduggery were looking at me.

"The bite marks are human, but there's more than one attacker. You can tell by the differences in the bite marks. I don't think he was ever meant to be the one the cave spirit would use. Or if he was, it changed its mind. It must have several people now at least, and this is what it fed them. I'm guessing he either escaped or we were sent the body as a message. The cave spirit has all his power now."

"Indeed. Well done, Valkyrie." Skulduggery answered. "Anything else?"

"We've lost our time table, or maybe not. The cave spirit could launch an attack in three days, or rather three nights to match the dark of the moon for power. Or it could attack right now. But something else happened, didn't it? We wouldn't be here if it was just a dead body." I looked at Ghastly and he nodded.

"The power at the hospital went out, back up generators included. When it came back on all the patients that had been on life support were gone."

"But that's not too many, right?" Tanith asked hopefully.

"Twenty four." Ghastly sighed.

* * *

Tanith tried to cheer us all up on the way back to the office. "Come on then, how far are a bunch of dead people going to get anyways?" She asked, missing Skulduggery's affronted glare.

"Filled with the power of a god? Plenty far, I'd say." Ghastly replied.

"So they're zombies?" She laughed in amusement. "Zombies are nothing." All three of us just stared at her. "What?" She asked. "They move so slow."

"These ones have god-like power, sis. Imagine Thrasher and Scapegrace on speed. These aren't really zombies though. More like bodies inhabited by a demon, so think 'Evil Dead' instead."

"Demons aren't real." She countered.

"That we know of." Ghastly said thoughtfully. "What would civilians call the cave spirit? They would call it a demon, they would be wrong of course, but they would still be dead, wouldn't they?" We were all quiet until we reached his office. Ghastly looked at Skulduggery. "You two are staying, and no arguments, we can't afford to be scattered right now."

"So we all sit in one place so it is easier for the cave spirit to kill us?"

"No, we all stay in one place because if Valkyrie and Lord Vile need to attack they will be a lot closer here than from your house."

"Ah."

Ghastly seemed to think of something. "You two flew, didn't you? I wondered how you made such good time. Do you need to go back for the armour?"

Skulduggery shook his head. "Valkyrie can call her armour from here, distance isn't an issue for her. Vile of course can call his armour to him, and then hers, if he needs to."

Ghastly nodded and dismissed us. The official didn't even bother with separate rooms, mainly because there weren't any. We ended up back in the room I'd been assigned before. Skulduggery paced and I tried not to think of being hungry. "This isn't much fun, is it?" He asked, pausing to look up at me. He looked dejected to be trapped there, and I shared his feelings.

"No it isn't. At least you won't starve until you can get outside to real food in the morning."

"Sorry about that. Perhaps Ghastly will bring you something later. There isn't anything good here to eat, at all?"

"They burn the water, Skulduggery, that's how bad the cooks are."

"You don't have anything stowed away in your jacket?"

"Surprisingly, no, I don't think so."

"I'd check if I were you." There was the slightest hint of amusement in Skulduggery's voice.

I dug around in my pockets, finding nothing until I checked the largest inner one. Skulduggery's grin broadened at my surprise. "Skulduggery, is this what I think it is?"

He nodded happily. "You asked once what else I could do, and I told you lots. It was easy enough to make sure it stayed hidden and you couldn't feel it."

I smiled, utterly charmed and I pulled out the MRE. I knew he had to have imported it, because we just didn't have them in Ireland. Also it was clearly American military in issue. I didn't even think it was legal for him to buy those, but I wasn't about to argue.

"How did you do that?" I asked.

Skulduggery blinked and tilted his head. "I'll teach you. But eat first. Here, at least there's a pot here to boil water, I'll take over preparations, you just sit before the fire and relax, I insist." I sat as he happily worked, humming to himself. He grabbed the tray that held the water glasses for a plate, making sure it was clean, then set the pouch with the charcoal starter and water on it, the entree tucked inside, to cook. He prepared the powdered drink, and the coffee, then turned back to me. "Scone of doubtful origin now or later?"

"I'll wait until it is all ready if that's OK with you." He nodded and took out his watch, then came and sat beside me.

"It should be ready in about fifteen minutes, I think. I understand those heaters don't always work well, but the convenience is worth it. I'm happy you're pleased with the gesture, Valkyrie. I like being able to surprise you."

"You always manage to surprise me, Detective Pleasant." I purred. He grinned and we rose of one accord, Skulduggery pressing his teeth down firmly on my lips. I returned the kiss, feeling my body melt into his. Skulduggery growled slightly when I started to stroke the base of his skull, removing his hat and tossing it onto the bed behind him without looking.

I took full advantage of his now bare skull, finding every seam, every bone, the natural dips and contours that made his skull uniquely his. I hit a rather sensitive spot and he yelped softly, jerking his head back in surprise. "Did that hurt? I'm so sorry, Skulduggery." I let go and he backed away several paces.

"No, it didn't hurt, but I think that's enough for now, unless you want Ghastly to work a blush of another colour into your wedding dress."

"Oh. You heard us, didn't you?"

"Indeed. What language, Valkyrie, honestly."

"Sorry."

"Mmm. You food's ready. That is, if you want to accept anything from the scary man with sweets in his pocket." He added tartly.

"Sorry, again." I said as I hugged him. He held me briefly, kissing the of my head.

"Just be kind enough to remember in the future that I do have feelings, Valkyrie. But that's all right, I know you meant nothing by it. It would have still been nice of you to defend my honour, though." He grumbled, before releasing me and going to prepare my food. He took everything to the small table in the room, then turned and motioned me over. He must have seen something in my face, because he swept me into his arms, kissing me deeply. I was more than happy to comply.

"You're forgiven." He said softly, when we at last parted, touching the side of my face with the back of his skeletal fingers. I nuzzled into him, then at last sat down to eat. Skulduggery smiled over at me. "Of course after your dinner I expect our evening ritual, then you can _really_ apologize." I grinned at him in anticipation, enjoying the chicken and rice. Soon enough I'd finished the meal, and even though the scone tasted more like bread, it was nowhere near as bad as the Sanctuary food. Skulduggery gave me a wicked girn, clearly enjoying the idea of the evening ritual.

He rose, tilting his head, the grin only broadening. I stood, slightly intimidated, but only for a second. Skulduggery could certainly use his masculine wiles when he wanted to, and his were in full effect. "Skulduggery, what would the official say?" I teased, approaching him.

He grunted. "This Sanctuary has more officials than it needs, but if he does say anything, I'll shoot him."

"Such a fierce man of bones!" I teased, looping my arms around his neck before kissing him deeply. Skulduggery eagerly returned the kiss, deepening it as his arms looped around me. He was murmuring again, and I swore I heard snatches of Gaelic. I parted my lips slightly and Skulduggery matched the gesture, the lowest of growls coming from him. I was teasing him, simply keeping my mouth open, then went to close my lips, but Skulduggery pressed his teeth forward, preventing me from closing my mouth.

A skeletal hand clamped on the back of my head, and his growls increased. "Don't tease." He managed, not moving his teeth a milimetre. I complied, slowly seeking out his teeth, then very barely touching his maxilla. I felt something touch me in response, a velvety caress, and pulled back in surprise. Skulduggery grinned at me. "Skulduggery, that felt amazing. How did you do that?"

"I told you I can do lots of things, but that's enough for now. As to how, well, I apparently don't have to completely be Lord Vile in order to manipulate the shadows in a room, something I discovered right now, as a matter of fact." I stared up at him in utter awe and he grinned down at me. "Well," he amended, "Lord Vile _may_ have touched his engagement ring."

"You clever man, you."

"Aren't I just? Most Necromancers don't get more than one object to hold their power, but Vile is rather special, and by the way," He paused to nip at my neck. "he touched your ring as well when he was training you, it pleased him to no end that you were too lost in his affections to notice."

"Lord Vile is a very generous man when he wants to be."

"Indeed he is. But you've helped him make peace with himself to a certain extent, so he's more than happy to help."

"I'm a lucky woman then." I said, looping my arms around Skulduggery's neck. "You'll be sure to pass on my gratitude, won't you?" I asked before pulling him in for a deep kiss. I felt Skulduggery pull back the barest fraction of a milimetre to answer.

"Indeed I shall, and my appreciation as well." Then I felt his shadows start to slither up my body as his teeth found my lips. Skulduggery started to growl softly, and we stayed that way for the longest time, Skulduggery putting his new found talent to repeated use.

When he at last pulled back he looked perfectly content with himself. "Now it is late, and you my dear, need your rest." He said, scooping me up and carrying me to the bed. He manipulated the air to pull the sheets back then set me down gently, before going over to his side. Skulduggery made a gesture as he got it and the lights in the room went out. But we didn't need the lights as he pulled me towards him, settling me on top of him, his arms wrapped protectively around me. I'd barely settled my head into his clavicle before sleep took me.

* * *

 **Skulduggery with Necromancy powers in full effect? What is the world coming to?**


	44. Chapter 44

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, Cleavers, the White Cleaver, Strom, Tipstaff, or Valkyrie. Yeh Yeh and Doctor Galen Morgagni are my OCs, though. Val is still 24, story is still in her point of view. Thanks to those still reading!

* * *

I awoke the next morning, perfectly content to stay put right where I was. Of course we were probably needed, but the sun hadn't quite risen yet. I did need some coffee though, so I at last got up reluctantly and set about making some. Skulduggery stayed in deepest meditation, but shifted, grasping for me. He turned his skull slightly from side to side, and I realized he was showing his displeasure over me moving, even in his sleep. His jaw opened and closed, a soft cry coming from him. His face looked pained, upset, worried. I sighed, left the hot water and climbed back into bed. Almost immediately, Skulduggery rolled towards me, clasping his arms around me.

I stroked his skull then gave in to his efforts to roll on his back and drag me on top of him. I'd just settled back in when I heard the barest snort of suppressed laughter. "Skulduggery Pleasant, you big faker! I thought you were having a nightmare!" I growled, attempting to get back up. That man never did have to do much to make me angry, and right then I was livid.

Skulduggery wrapped his skeletal arms tightly around me and made one of his happy chirrups. "But you came back to bed, Valkyrie, you were worried about me!" He was trying very hard to look cute and adorable to escape my early morning wrath. The problem was, it was working.

"Skulduggery." I sighed, stroking his skull affectionately. "You're a terrible man in the morning."

"Skeleton."

"Say that a little louder so the official can come arrest me on morals charges." I growled, once again going to rise. Skulduggery tilted his skull, looking hurt.

"Fine. Don't marry me then. See if I care." He tilted his skull away from me, taking his arms away. "You're right, Valkyrie, I'm only a skeleton. It would be wrong of you to be with me. I won't hold you to our engagement." I heard the tears in his voice and turned his skull back to face me, kissing him deeply. He returned the kiss, flipping me on my back, pinning me under him. Then he pulled away and burst out laughing.

"I can't belive you fell for that!" He was laughing so hard he was doubled over as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Oh, Valkyrie," he minced in a high mocking voice, "we simply _mustn't_ marry. T'is wrong, t'is wrong!" He flung a dramatic arm over his eye sockets, then doubled over once again, falling off the bed to lay of the floor, convulsing with hysterical laughter.

"Idiot." I growled, but I couldn't keep the smile out of my voice. I got up to make the coffee, happy there were some instant packets at least. Skulduggery was still making wheezing sounds of amusement, but I went and sat by him when he patted the floor.

"Disrespecting the rest of the dead, that's what you are. You living girls, always wanting a helpless skeleton who can't say a word to defend his honour."

"You say plenty of words." I growled. Skulduggery propped himself on one elbow, wiping away tears of amusement. "Those are new, not to be insensitive, Skulduggery, but do you actually cry, or-"

"Mmm." He nodded in amusement. "They are real and no, I have no idea how or why. I don't even have tear ducts. I think the water or whatever it is comes from my skull, which is kind of disgusting, come to think of it."

He put a gloved finger in his mouth, touching it to his maxilla. "They are salty."

"Wait, you can taste now?"

"Yes, apparently so. I can't eat of course, and putting food or liquids against my bones in large amounts isn't a good idea, but I can taste now, just like I can smell that coffee. It smells heavenly, by the way." He said, dropping a not-so-subtle hint.

I fetched a spoon taking some out for him. "Let it cool for a second, Skulduggery. You are of course going to ruin your gloves if you keep this up, you know."

He tilted his head at me. "You do it then." He said happily, opening his jaws. When I just stared at him in shock he spoke again. "No really, I insist. As my friend and partner you should be happy to do it. Just a drop to taste is all." I dipped a finger in the coffee, grumbling as I reached in and gently touched the coffee to his maxilla. Skulduggery's teeth closed around my finger gently and I swear he winked at me. "Mmm, coffee tastes good, but you taste better." He managed around my finger. I felt the heat rise to my face and he released my finger, making a soft cooing sound at me.

"You're a crazy man, I hope you know that." I grumbled.

"Crazy for you, maybe." He said, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Skulduggery took out his pocket watch, considering it. "Four AM. How do we manage to do this so often? Still, I bet we can sneak out and back for some breakfast if you'd like, my treat of course. A woman who's going to be arrested on morals charges needs a good last meal."

I laughed and cuddled into him. "You do know I'm not attracted to you in some weird kind of way, right? Yes, you're hot, but I wouldn't do anything with you ever if you weren't able to participate or consent, you know that, right?"

Skulduggery stroked my hair. "Of course I do, Valkyrie. If you were an actual necrophiliac my being able to move and think and speak would ruin all your fun, though I suppose the romantic kinds would protest otherwise. Still, the important thing to remember is I'll be safe from arrest. I'll be happy to tell the judge it was all my idea too, as they haul you off to the gaol."

"You're all heart, you know that?"

"No, I'm all bone. But finish your coffee. Flouting Ghastly's wishes and getting you some breakfast awaits us."

* * *

Even at four AM the Sanctuary would have been a hive of activity, being a city unto itself, so we escaped out the window, Skulduggery wrapping his arms around me, then rising into the air. He seemed to know exactly where he was going, and we soon landed not far from a small strip mall, the signs for the McDonald's and Chinese place blaring bright like neon into the night. Skulduggery tilted his head. "Burgers or possible feline homicide victims, you choose."

"Skulduggery, that's mean!"

"Of course. Around here I'm sure they catch rats, or maybe shrews for those nugget things they call chicken." He grinned at me from behind his disguise and I shook my head.

"Well as tempting as a 4 AM burger sounds, I should go see if they have any of those chicken dumplings that come with the hot peanut sauce, and some tea would be nice."

"Vegetable rolls?"

"Yes-"

"And wonton soup, I'm supposing, plus pepper steak?"

"Right-"

"Good, excellent choices." Skulduggery led me in to a bright orange booth, and listened to the elderly owner's few words of English, then answered in perfect Chinese. The man smiled, clearly happy to find someone to talk to, and his grand gestures made me worry he'd cook the whole kitchen in an effort to please us.

He went back into the kitchen at last, singing happily. I looked at Skulduggery, who merely shrugged. "I _am_ over four hundred years old, Valkyrie. The language, and that was Mandarin Chinese or Pǔtōnghuà by the way, isn't really all that hard to pick up. Well, for me. You'd need a translator. But that's what I'm here for." He said, giving my hand a comforting pat. I wanted to be annoyed, I wanted to say something smart and spiteful like I usually would. But I could feel the adoring gaze from behind his disguise and reached out to hold his hands instead.

"You're in a really good mood this morning. You're actually looking forward to getting married, aren't you?" I asked.

"Mm-hmm. But as I said, as far as I'm concerned we are married, we only need wait for certain things to please Ghastly. I owe the man that much."

The owner brought out the tea in a beautiful pot, placing the small cup before me and pouring. "Xie xie, yeh yeh." I managed politely and he beamed at me before scurrying back to his cooking.

"Where on Earth did you learn Chinese?" Skulduggery asked.

"'Ni Hao, Kai Lan.' It's am American kid's show, to tell you the truth I don't even know if the words were in the right order, but he seemed happy."

"You also seemed more polite than normal, saying thank you, honouring him with the title of 'grandfather'. Does he remind you of your own?" Skulduggery asked wistfully.

"I never knew either grandfather to tell you the truth, but yes. I suppose he makes me want him to be my grandfather. I never got to experience that."

"If Strom were still alive I bet he would have liked to hear that. About himself of course. I think he liked you well enough, though he wasn't the fond grandfatherly type come to think of it. More of the inappropriate type considering he was flirting with China. But I'm sure we can find you a grandfather somewhere if you want one."

He was positively beaming, and it all suddenly clicked. "You liked having a family, didn't you, Skulduggery?"

"OF course I did, Valkyrie, and I have one again. There's you of course, and Ghastly and Tanith. I suppose Erskine counts, and Tipstaff can be the annoying uncle nobody likes." We both laughed. I didn't say it to Skulduggery, but I wanted a family too, to replace the one I lost. I didn't have to of course, the way he held my free hand as we sat there told me he knew and understood. "By the way, I've told him I simply can't eat due to a rare medical condition, but it would give me the greatest pleasure if he cooked the things you wanted and would join us. I didn't think you would mind."

"That was sweet of you, Skulduggery, I hope he does join us."

"Well if he doesn't I see someone else who will." I turned to see Ghastly and Tanith entering, Ghastly holding the door for Tanith. She blushed slightly and walked in, then smiled hugely as she spotted us.

"Sis! What are you doing out of the gaol? Uh, I mean Sanctuary." She amended, catching Ghastly's annoyed look. He didn't like the dreary place anymore than she did, but he was an Elder.

"I couldn't face the food, sis. The prisoners eat better." I said as she slipped in beside me. Ghastly grinned at that, delighting in the confused look that crossed Tanith's face.

"I thought the prisoners didn't have to eat?" She asked.

"That's what Valkyrie meant, Tanith." Ghastly replied, clearly amused. She blushed again and I wondered what they had been up to in the van on the way over. Then I stopped wondering because with Ghastly being my dad the thought made me queasy.

The owner came out, saw Ghastly and Tanith and clapped his hands in delight. He said something to Skulduggery who nodded, then the owner disappeared into the kitchen repeated the words 'wode jiating' over and over, quite happily, chuckling slightly. I looked at Skulduggery and could feel him smile. "He said 'my family'. He hasn't seen his own in over two hundred years, so he asked if he could adopt all of us in a sense. Seeing as how he says he's nearly a thousand years old, and rather lonely here, I agreed. So you have your new grandfather."

Ghastly smiled. "See? I told you you'd have a magical family. Now of course that means you have to come visit him wherever you're at the Sanctuary, I insist."

"I will. He seems very sweet. I wish I knew more Chinese though, so I could talk to him."

"Who says you'll ever return here alone, Valkyrie? I'll be more than happy to translate until I've taught you Chinese." Skulduggery offered.

"Skulduggery, I can't speak twenty words of Gaelic, yet I live here."

"Then I'll teach you that as well. Improve your French, perhaps some German. It helps greatly when you're in a foreign Sanctuary since they'll often talk about you right in front of you or argue about things you shouldn't know in their own language. Not everyone is that stupid, but enough of them are."

It wasn't long before the owner came out smiling, pushing a cart laden with a tremendous amount of food. He welcomed Ghastly and Tanith, telling them they were also his children now, but adding slyly that he had only one granddaughter before smiling at me, Skulduggery translating. We all offered to help but he served us, then sat down at a chair he pulled up. The meal was heavenly, everything I had craved plus roast duck, pickled vegetables, what looked like eel, and several other delicacies Grandfather or Yeh Yeh insisted we all try.

When all the food had been eaten the sun was high in the sky and I realized with a start we'd spent over four hours in his company, enjoying the food, tea, and Yeh Yeh's endless stories. He was sweetly charming, a clever storyteller, and I got the impression he had been one in the Imperial court. There was something about him that reminded me of the old stories of Oriental dragons coming down to interact with humans, and I was utterly charmed.

When he pulled me into a hug before we left I smelt a certain pleasant musky odor, that somehow reminded me even more strongly of the stories. I swore I could almost feel a warm scaled body beneath his clothing, just for a second before he felt like a frail old man again, and his wink when we parted confirmed my suspicions. He was magical all right, but then all dragons are.

* * *

Ghastly drove us back to the Sanctuary in the van, smiling at us in the rear view mirror. "Oh, almost forgot. No running off at night for Chinese unless you tell an Elder first, you two. Bad detectives, bad." We all laughed, and it was a good ride, the sun warming the inside of the van nicely. Skulduggery looped an arm around me, pulling me close, and I nestled into him, enjoying the warmth the van's temperature lent to his bones.

Tanith would look over occasionally at Ghastly, and they held hands as he drove, a silent communication passing between them. At a red light she leaned over and kissed Ghastly, a sight that caused at least one pedestrian to smile. We pulled up to the Sanctuary at last and Skulduggery and I exited quietly, leaving Tanith wrapped in Ghastly's arms.

* * *

Skulduggery grinned at me as we returned to our room and he could shed the disguise at last. "I think those two had a really good idea, don't you?" He kissed me deeply, his contented sigh growing into a soft growl as I returned his kiss, stroking his skull.

He wrapped his arms tightly around me, opening his mouth in invitation. I took his invitation, not surprised when he used his newly found skill in response, and although I had no experience in such things, I imagined it felt right. Clearly it would take us some practice to prefect out technique, lots and lots of practice.

Skulduggery seemed content to explore the new skill, caressing the back of my teeth, exploring with a velvety touch. Suddenly his body jerked and I pulled back to look at him. He let go of me and backed off several paces. "It would appear I can feel through the shadows if I choose to attach them to myself, and well, that was a bit much, considering."

"Sorry. I just- I've never done anything like this before, Skullduggery. Sorry." I apologized. He made a soothing sound.

"No, don't be. I should apologize, I'm not being much of a gentleman, am I? I just keep thinking you've done all this before, but as I said waiting is one gift I can give you, and I will. Speaking of gifts, is there anything you desire? I know you told me you had something planned."

"That was before I saw you'll get rid of the tracers any time you feel like it."

"Ah, that. Come here, please." He held out his arms and I went to him, feeling his bones as he held me tightly to him. He trembled slightly, then spoke. "When I thought I had hurt you, I left our bed, I told you that. But did I tell you I had nightmares in my meditation? Of hurting you so badly you'd just up and leave? Because I did. The very idea of hurting you by showing you my love was more than I could bear, so I wrote you the note and left my ring. I hoped you'd somehow find me, stop me in time, but I knew you wouldn't."

"I even called into the Sanctuary, hoping Ghastly would know something was wrong, but he didn't. I got in the Bentley and just drove. I wanted to kill myself, Valkyrie, rather than harm you with my love, I truly did. But I couldn't be sure any of the options would truly kill me. I was terrified for your sake to be left even a little bit alive, terrified you'd nurse me back to health and I'd hurt you as badly as I did in my nightmares."

"So I parked on the train tracks and waited for hours for a train to come, but it never did. It never did, Valkyrie, and I wanted it to more that I've ever wanted anything. I just sat there crying because my love for you hurt so much. Then my mobile rang or I thought it did. I pulled off the train tracks to answer, thinking you had called, and then, then the train went by." He smiled sadly.

"Thank God, Skulduggery! You had an angel watching over you."

"Perhaps. There was no call but I swear I heard it ring the way it does when you call. I missed you so very much, Valkyrie, I must have hallucinated it. That's when I realized I couldn't die. I couldn't ever see you again, but I couldn't die either."

"Skulduggery! I love you, do you understand that? I adore you. You ever hurt yourself and I'm following you, do you understand me?"

"Valkyrie!"

"For all you know the killer or the cave spirit sent that nightmare, Skulduggery. We've been together for several nights now and you have yet to hurt me."

"I know, I know. I hope that continues. I'm just afraid that when there are no clothes between us, you'll get hurt."

"I'm sure a clever man like you will figure something out."

"Skeleton. I have actually, but let's not talk about it right now or we won't be waiting until our wedding night. We should report to Ghastly's office, I'm sure there will be all sorts of nifty leads today."

"True, I'm wondering if he'll let us in the cave now that the killer is gone."

"I highly doubt it, but then I doubted you'd ever love me. Well, come along then."

* * *

Ghastly was in his office, and he looked up when we came in. "Tea?" He asked me, and I nodded. I wondered if he could function without making tea every time he saw us and resolved not to test the idea. The ritual was his was way of dealing with the case. I noticed Tanith was absent but said nothing. I knew she had to be bored, and now working with the Sanctuary she couldn't spend all the time she wanted with Ghastly. Somehow Ghastly must have guessed what I was thinking.

"Your sister is out picking on Cleavers, spoiling for a fight. I'm seriously going to need you to entertain her every so often, Valkyrie. She's a good asset to the Sanctuary, but she's driving the staff nuts when there isn't anything to do."

I sipped at my tea. "You want me to go entertain her now, don't you?" I asked. Ghastly smiled and nodded. I finished my tea and got up, looking at Skulduggery. "Now be a good partner and do everything Elder Bespoke tells you." I teased.

Skulduggery laughed, but Ghastly looked at me and groaned. "Don't do that, it's creepy." I grinned and left in search of Tanith.

* * *

I found her mercilessly berating one of the Cleavers, trying to lure him into fighting. He stood stock-still, his training holding. I knew she hated Cleavers for a good reason, after what the White Cleaver did to her, but I didn't want to see one of the few guards we had get decapitated if he were foolish enough to move either. "Sis, if you break your toys I'm not buying you any new ones." I said dryly.

"Hey!" She said happily. "Want to have a go? This place is boring, there's never anything to do."

"This paperwork, there's reading reports, there's all sorts of things useful to the case that you could be doing." I reminded her. "As a matter of fact, how about going to the morgue with me? I want to see what they've found out first-hand."

"Shouldn't Skulduggery do that with you?" She asked skeptically.

"As Skulduggery so lovingly reminds me, he'll be dead one day, and I'll have to function on my own. Coming?" Tanith grumbled, but went with me. Of course along the way she had all sorts of nosy questions to ask about things she had no business knowing.

"You want a bachelorette party before you go to your doom?"

"No, those are disgusting, Tanith, a bunch of drunken women waving adult toys and lingerie all around, howling like drunken she-cats." I shivered in distaste.

"Aww, you're no fun. Then you want to go shopping for stuff you'll need for the wedding night?"

"Tanith!"

"What? I'm older and have more experience. I'm going to take Ghastly shopping."

"Wait until after you're married. God."

"What?" She asked stopping, arms folded and eyes narrowed.

"He's a gentleman, Tanith. You don't take a gentleman to a place like that unless you're involved. Some of them not even then."

"Are you saying you wouldn't take Skulduggery?"

"That's really none of your business. I thought all Englishwomen had good manners." Tanith glared at me and fell silent. I knew she meant well, but she had no respect for other people's privacy. Still, I knew I'd hurt her feelings. "Tanith, I'm sorry, but those things are private to me, OK? I've never had a sister before, but I don't think they look at stuff like that together."

She nodded stiffly. I sighed. But we had arrived at the morgue doors so a better apology would have to wait until later. The pathologist, Doctor Galen Morgagni was in, and he waved us in cheerily. "Just about to begin the autopsy, Detective Cain. I remember you enjoying them before, care to observe?" I nodded and following him into the autopsy room, Tanith falling behind. I looked at her and she shrugged, her eyes locked onto a small sign that read "Hic locus est ubi mors gaudet succurrere vitae."

"This is the place where death rejoices to help those who live." I translated automatically and Doctor Morgagni turned, well-pleased.

"Indeed the dead do rejoice to teach the living, I've been doing this job for over three hundred years and I'm still learning new things. The living owe so much to the dead, don't you agree?" The pathologist asked, handing over a small jar of Vick's Vapor Rub, and two masks. I applied some of the rub under my nose, and put the mask on. He also handed over two elastic bands. "Sorry ladies, hair back, rules are rules." He said, his voice muffled by his own mask. He was right. All we needed was trace evidence from ourselves on the corpse. Luckily he didn't seem inclined to make us don smocks or shoe covers.

He took out a slim recorder and dictated as he worked, turning to us to comment as he did. "Can you believe how old he was, ladies? Such a fine specimen for his age. He doesn't look a day over eight hundred, if that." I looked at Tanith and she shrugged. It seemed all magical people aged differently. She was over a hundred and while she was certainly beautiful and youthful looking, Ghastly, who was over four hundred looked no older. No one even knew how long a sorcerer could live, but it seemed to be a very long time indeed.

We watched the autopsy, not speaking, and I made mental notes. Everything about the god or would-be god's body was normal, if unbelievably well preserved. Some parts I knew would be kept as specimens, considering the great age he had lived to.

But there was nothing here in the outside examination I could see that would help with the case. The examination continued, and Tanith turned away slightly as the body was opened and the organs examined and weighed. At long last it was time to examine the brain. First the scalp was peeled back after the skin was carefully cut at the back of the head, but it wasn't done in a macabre way. The dead were truly respected there, even ones like the killer.

Then Dr. Morgagni pulled out a bone saw to begin work on extracting the brain. He hummed as he worked, careful that the saw cut only bone and not the brain as well. With the skull cap removed he lifted out the brain, dictating comments into his recorder. "I'm sorry Doctor, but what is that black mass near the brain stem?" I asked, having wandered closer.

"Why, Detective Cain, I didn't even notice that. It isn't a tumor, it almost looks solid, strange." He used a skilled hand to prize it our from between the brain stem and brain proper with his scalpel. He knocked it into the waiting jar he was holding, and it landed in the bottom with a soft clink. He looked over at me with joy in his eyes. "Quite the find indeed, Detective Cain. I must get this examined at once." He walked off, calling for a tech, who dutifully disappeared for parts unknown to send the object out for the needed tests.

Tanith looked faintly green and excused herself, so I asked if she could send Skulduggery down if she saw him. The body of the killer might have more treasures to yield.

* * *

 **Please Note: I'm well aware there aren't Oriental dragons in the Landy books. Xie xie means 'thank you', Ni Hao is 'Hello' and yeh yeh means 'grandfather' in Mandarin Chinese. Yes, I really did pick that up from a kid's show. But I hope you enjoyed it, feel free to comment!**


	45. Chapter 45

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, story is still in her point of view. Special thanks go out to all my readers. Sorry to take so long to upload this chapter.

* * *

Skulduggery strolled into the autopsy room a short time later, a pleased smile on his face. I could tell he thought Tanith going green had been funny, and he tilted his head attentively, as Doctor Morgagni brought him up to speed.

"Your partner would make a wonderful pathologist, Detective Pleasant. She spotted a most intriguing mass tucked away between the brain and brainstem. If I didn't know any better I'd say it had been magically put there, but we shall see. Perhaps it was organic, something we haven't seen yet in humans because we normally don't live that long. Wonderful find. I think I'll make the dissection of the brain itself if you two are ready."

We both nodded and the pathologist proceeded, but found nothing else of note. We thanked him for his time and left, Skulduggery happily humming to himself.

"Since when did you get so brave around dead people?" He teased.

"I'm around you every day, Skulduggery."

"Now that was mean, but I forgive you. Because I know that what you really meant to say was that you missed me."

"We weren't even apart that long." I grumbled. Skulduggery just stared at me and I relented. "Fine. I missed you, happy now?"

Skulduggery made one of his happy chirrups and drew me into his arms. "Of course I'm happy, Valkyrie. I missed you too. Ghastly gets boring fast."

"So does Tanith. Lord, we're terrible friends, aren't we?"

"On the contrary, we're the very best of friends. Oh, I see what you mean. Well, Ghastly wasn't any fun. He won't tell me a single thing about your dress, and he didn't react kindly to me hinting he should work faster."

I stopped to look at Skulduggery. "You know he doesn't like to be rushed. Exactly what did you say to him?"

"Only that he should get the dress finished today, and then we could have the wedding tonight."

I blinked. "He got mad over that?"

"Well, I did say it was rather unfair of him to make me keep his daughter waiting."

"Skulduggery! You did not! Please tell me you didn't."

"I did, since I'm fairly certain he hasn't kept Tanith waiting."

"God, you're terrible. But that would explain her blushing so much. But I'm surprised she didn't mention anything."

"Oh he told her not to. He told me the same thing, but you are my most loyal combat accessory so I get to tell you everything."

"Skullduggery. I don't know what I'm going to do with you, I honestly don't. Should we meet with the detectives?"

"Look at you being proactive and taking co-lead of the case. I'm proud of you, Valkyrie, I truly am. You went to the autopsy on your own, knowing we needed a pair of eyes there. I need to yell at our detectives for not thinking of that first."

"Skulduggery, they are already afraid of you!"

"As well they should be. I'm a very dangerous man, but you're safe with me." He said, looping a friendly arm around my shoulders.

"Get your hands off my daughter, Skulduggery!" A menacing voice growled behind us. I jumped, but then so did Skulduggery. Ghastly walked up between us putting an arm around each of us. He was smiling, clearly amused at Skulduggery's reaction. "How would my two favourite detectives like some busy work?" He asked, grinning.

"Not at all?" Skulduggery tried, hopefully.

Ghastly snorted. "Too bad, you're getting it. There was briefcase found in the park, luckily we got to it before the civilians. Chock-ful of papers and other fun things for you to read through. I think someone's been sneaking reports to the killer, or was. But I need eyes on it, so I thought of you two. I had it sent to your room so you two can get cozy while you read. Not too cozy though, Skulduggery, or I am going for the bone accents on the dress."

Skulduggery sniffed in indignation and Ghastly just laughed.

* * *

We had the fireplace lit and Skulduggery leaned against the stone front while he read, grumbling slightly, then turning to swat the fireplace with the papers he was reading. "Is there something wrong, Skulduggery?" I asked.

"No, no, nothing at all. This fireplace is just making my back sore, so I hit it. Not that you care about your partner's back."

I shook my head. "Come here, you big baby." Skulduggery came over, presenting his back, he looked at me, giving a running commentary while I rubbed his sore bones.

"The ribs first, Valkyrie, they're sorest. You're so lucky to have something nice to cover yours with. Mine hurt, and the cold got into them too. I bet I'll catch cold and die now, you just watch."

"If you start sneezing I'll take you to the doctor, Skulduggery." I growled.

"No, no I'll have you tend to me. Which is why I'll die, of course. You're terrible at caring for people. I've had better back rubs from China." I hauled off and smacked him a good one to the back of the skull, and he yelped in pain. "That was a joke, a joke! You didn't have to hit me. What's wrong with you today? You either love me or you're hitting me."

I kissed the back of his skull tenderly, wrapping my arms around him. "I thought you were serious." I said quietly.

He turned, his head titled in sympathy. He seemed to smile wryly. "I wasn't, you know. I never touched the woman, nor did she touch me."

"But you loved her."

"Everyone loves China, at first. Then you get to know her."

"Sorry, Skulduggery, she's just the pretty girl who steals all the guys in the room to prove she can. I have actual nightmares about her surfacing again and taking you from me. I know that is stupid, considering what she's done to you, but that doesn't make them any less real when I'm going through them."

"Oh, Valkyrie, when will you trust me when I tell you that you have no rivals? Not China, not someone from my past, not someone from now or the future either."

"You forgot alternate Universes."

"For God's sake, there is no one else. Who scared you this badly?" He asked, taking me in his arms.

"Nobody."

"No, you're actually trembling. Valkyrie, what are you so afraid of, are you afraid I'll leave you? That isn't happening either, despite my need to make dramatic exits and have a royal sulk."

"You might not come back one day, Skulduggery. But we have a case to get to." I pushed away, suddenly finding the papers I was supposed to be reading real interesting. Skulduggery tugged them gently out of my hands.

"Valkyrie, I am in love with you. I can't imagine my life without you. Please trust me to catch you if you fall, because I think that's what your really afraid to do, to trust me. I know my need to go off alone at times frightens you, but I swear it doesn't mean I'll be unfaithful or ever leave you, just trust me."

I couldn't face him, because he was right. I was terrified to trust him. But Skulduggery wasn't about to take 'no' for an answer. "I trust you not to go out with strange vampires or boys with stupid hair." He teased.

"Skulduggery, what am I going to do with you?"

"Love me, but as you will recall, Valkyrie, I answered that question before. You're memory isn't going already is it? You're so young." He gasped dramatically, bringing his gloved hands to his teeth.

"Very funny, smart guy. But we do have a case to get to."

"Not until you tell me you trust me, Valkyrie. I need you to trust me if we're going to be together."

"Skulduggery-"

"That isn't an answer, or is it?" He asked, hurt.

"Skulduggery, could the cave spirit be doing this? You and I never doubted each other, ever. Of course I trust you. I don't know where these doubts are coming from, but they make me want to shoot somebody."

"Now now, my dearest combat accessory, violence is never the answer."

"Violence is your _only_ answer, Skulduggery."

"Is not."

"Said the three year old."

"If I'm three you aren't even born yet in comparison, therefore I win."

"Your logic astounds me."

"Wait until our wedding night, _then_ you'll be astounded."

"Skulduggery!"

"Valkyrie!" He mimicked. "Now we have a case to get to, if you're done holding up the investigation."

"Skulduggery!"

"Just admit you've lost the battle and give up on the war, Valkyrie. I'm always going to be right."

"You're always going to be annoying. I ought to remove your jaw so you'll at least stop taking."

"I wouldn't bet on it."

* * *

Our detectives proved remarkably clever at hiding from us, reporting directly to Ghastly that they had no updates, and taking off running full tilt if they spotted Skulduggery. It didn't help matters any when he removed his gloves and started chasing one, opening his jaws in mock threat. I suppose I should have scolded him, but I was too busy laughing at his antics.

Skulduggery came back to me happily, tiring of the game. "Did you see that, Valkyrie? I'm a very scary man, aren't I?" He sounded pleased with himself, and I knew he enjoyed the detectives thinking he was crazy. I also knew he was a little crazy, well a _lot_ crazy, but in a good way.

Skulduggery tilted his head and cooed at me, pleased I was still laughing. Had he been a living man I'd have sworn he'd been drunk since that morning, but I wouldn't have minded to be honest. I loved Skulduggery, and if having fun chasing our detectives made him happy, who was I to judge him? I giggled as he cuddled me close, then he was chasing me, a look of utter delight on his face as we raced through the Sanctuary up to our room. Once inside he pounced towards me, using the air to propel both of us back to the bed, pinning me under him. He mock-growled, snapping his teeth at me, then fell onto his side in helpless laughter.

"Before you ask, Valkyrie, no, I am not drunk. I'm just so very happy to have lived, to have the train miss me and get a second chance with you. Well, OK, technically I am dead, but I think you know what I mean."

I cuddled up to him. "We keep up running around the Sanctuary terrorizing people and even Ghastly will fire us, Skulduggery."

"Let him! We'll go into business ourselves and answer to no one." He sat up, cocking his head at me. "I rather like that idea, we've proven we can do well on our own. What do you think?"

"I'd like that a lot, Skulduggery. You'd also be free to use lethal force again, and don't tell me you didn't used to. I've heard about what a holy terror you were."

"How much did you hear?"

"You're the one who told me about beating information out of people. Why do you think I've done it?"

"Then I've taught you well, Valkyrie, and I mean that. Sometimes for the greater good one must do evil. It takes a special kind of person to do that and not give into the hate, the temptation to unleash violence on everyone you meet." He paused, considering. "I frighten people, as well I should. Because people don't want men like me around in everyday life. Oh, they want me to rescue them, to keep the bad man away from them, but as a friend or lover? Never. You can't imagine how lonely I've been, waiting for someone like you, Valkyrie."

"You've never judged me, even if I do recall a scolding about false arrests, but now that I understand you thought it was you I was yelling at, I forgive you. Provided you can accept that there might also be the stray body here and there around Ireland, then I'll be completely happy."

"Skulduggery, I once tore the throat out of a cave monster with my teeth. My teeth! I'm in no position to judge you. I still remember the way Ghastly and Tanith looked at me when I clawed the Hollow Man open with my bare hands. I got the feeling they were both disapproved, but when all else fails, I'll fight like an animal."

"Skulduggery chuckled. "Mmm. Tanith has told me more than once that she's glad your on our side. So am I, Valkyrie. You are a lioness, a valkyrie, the winged warrior taking the worthy slain to paradise, where you shall feast me, and serve me ale, and be my lover for all eternity."

He looked at me, and I swore he was cross-eyed, but that wasn't possible. I grinned hugely at him, rolling over to nestle on top of him. "Well, you've got the dead part down pat, Skulduggery. If the cave cooperates we'll see about the warrior part."

"Don't you mean Lord Vile will see about it?" His voice was slightly tense. I knew at that moment what I had to do, what I had to give up because my getting what I desired would kill him.

I stroked his skull gently before speaking. "I love _you_ , Skulduggery, you. You have your shadows as your own self, you needn't be Lord Vile ever again if you don't want to. I'm guessing that even if you do put on the armour it will still be you, the real you. You're a whole man again, Skulduggery, and I'm never letting go of you."

* * *

Skulduggery and I play fought the entire day, sending a shrieking Tipstaff running for cover when we decided to use him for fireball target practice. "He screams like a girl!" Skulduggery laughed.

"He runs like one too." I said agreeably.

"Hey! I'm a girl and I don't run like that." I turned to see Tanith. She was clearly enjoying the shrieks that continued to come from Ghastly's office as we approached, and his roaring laugher only added to her amusement. We entered to find Erskine there as well, laughing so hard tears were coming from his eyes.

Tipstaff ran up to him, still screaming like a peacock. "Do something, Grand Mage, arrest these two- These two lunatics!" He pointed a trembling finger at us, but didn't dare look in our direction.

Skulduggery roared at the top of his nonexistent lungs, taking a menacing step forward and Tipstaff fainted. Erskine just shook his head in amusement. "This is like the old days, Skulduggery. When the Dead Men fought alongside each other. I seem to remember you liking to scare men like Tipstaff then too."

Erskine turned to me, his eyes dancing. "You should have seen him, Valkyrie. There was this one rather annoying official we had to report to, and he was scared witless of Skulduggery, who of course would take every chance he had to pounce on him out of nowhere. I still remember the day the man resigned. Happiest day of my life."

"You can't forget the agent from the foreign Sanctuary, Erskine." Ghastly said. "You would have loved it, Valkyrie. Skulduggery managed to chase the man up a telephone pole and refused to let him come down. Every time he so much as twitched Skulduggery would snap his teeth together."

Skulduggery nodded happily. " I kept him up there too until he apologized for being so annoying. Do I have the permission of the Grand Mage and our only current Elder to chase Tipstaff whenever I please?"

"Yes! Maybe he'll quit." Ghastly said. Erskine agreed, and I didn't feel the least bit sorry for Tipstaff. For as much as he fussed and fawned, there was a sneakiness to his character that made me dislike him. In fact, I couldn't think of a single person at the Sanctuary who did like him. He was a whining, sneaky, disloyal sort of man who would kick you when you were down and we all knew it.

We left the office, nobody bothering to wake Tipstaff, and set off in search of dinner.

* * *

We ended back at the inn where, I was starting to suspect, the table had standing reservations for us. Since it was a place for sorcerors Skulduggery could shed his disguise there, and he happily tasted my coffee as well as the juice from my steak.

Ghastly watched him dab a skeletal finger in the steak juices again, shaking his head. "When did this start?"

"Just recently, Ghastly. I can taste again, and even though I'm not hungry, I do enjoy tasting things again. Valkyrie's been good enough to share her food with me, which is much appreciated by the way, Valkyrie, thank you."

"Uh, you're welcome."

Skulduggery blinked. "What on Earth is everyone staring at me for?"

Tanith and Ghastly looked away, leaving it to me to state the obvious. "You don't believe in 'thank you' remember?"

"But a man can change, Valkyrie, and I am thankful."

"Who are you, and what have you done with my partner?"

"I'm serious."

"I know you are. Is this Skulduggery thinking of sticking around? I think I like him better than the old one to be honest."

"Indeed he is. You know I could swear the liquid absorbs into my bones."

"That shouldn't be possible, should it?"

"No, it shouldn't, or I'd get waterlogged in the rain. It is almost, well, I can't be sure, but almost like eating in a way."

He happily took several more dabs of steak juice and several of coffee. Ghastly just stared at him.

"What?" Skulduggery asked.

"Nothing. I'm just glad you aren't touching my food, that's all."

I turned to Skulduggery with a wink. "Want to taste some steak, Skulduggery?" I asked. He happily obliged by opening his jaws wide and I pressed a forkful to his maxilla, then of course ate it myself. Ghastly turned an interesting shade of green, and Tanith just laughed at him.

* * *

Skulduggery and I were having no luck that evening with the reports and they all seemed to be tied to the earlier victims. Suddenly he looked at me.

"Valkyrie, who would have access to all these files?"

"I assume the mole the killer planted."

"Who else?"

"Anyone granted access, why?"

"Who could look at these files anytime, even request them and not be noticed?"

"Ghastly or Erskine, I guess."

"Who else?"

"There's Tipstaff, I guess. He could lie and say the Grand Mage wanted them."

"Exactly."

"Wait, you aren't saying Tipstaff is tied into this, are you?"

"No, I'm saying there is our leak. Whether knowingly or unknowingly he's been getting the information to the killer. Some of these reports are dated after the mole was found, or didn't you notice?"

"No, I didn't." I admitted.

"That's rather honest of you. Still I think he is our leak. If the cave spirit is controlling our emotions and forcing actions in a sense of two incredibly strong people, imagine what it could do with him."

"We better have proof before we say anything, Skulduggery. For all we know there's another mole and we don't know him or her."

"True. I'd thought I'd found a reason to get Tipstaff fired, too."

"You know, we are being rather unkind to the poor man. I'll admit I don't like him, Skulduggery, but that's because he seems sneaky. Also he hovers, and fusses, and whines. I'd feel better if I'd at least seen him use magic to defend himself today, but he just ran."

"That struck me as odd and a tad disturbing, Valkyrie. Administrators tend to be fairly powerful sorcerors, yet nobody even knows if he can do magic. I'm almost certain he has, but I can't recall him doing it."

"You know, Skulduggery, maybe the cave spirit is affecting us more than we thought. None of us are bullies, but we all ganged up on poor Tipstaff. I think we should go apologize."

"You're right, as always."

* * *

Tipstaff stiffened when he saw us approaching, and I swear he sneered faintly, but reminded myself he was under the same influence we were. "We're sorry." I said, and he blinked at me.

"What?"

"We're sorry, it's the case. We shouldn't have chased you, not if you weren't enjoying it."

" _Enjoying_ it? You were throwing fireballs at me, Detective Cain. I can hardly see how I'd be expected to enjoy that."

"We expected you to fight back at some point, to be honest." Skulduggery admitted. "Sorry."

"Apologies accepted, Detectives. Can I get you anything? Something to do with the files that I took up to you?"

"Yes, we wanted to know, if you had any idea who could have taken them." Skulduggery said.

"That's easy." Tipstaff answered. "I did."

* * *

 **Whoa, Tipstaff is stealing now? I know I might be harsh towards him calling him a sneak, but I just dislike the man for some reason. So is he a bad guy who will end up in the gaol? Not even I know and I can't wait to find out.**


	46. Chapter 46

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tipstaff, Ghastly, Erskine, Tanith, Cleavers, Dr. Nye, Kenspeckle, China or Valkyrie, obviously. Val is still 24 and the story is still in her POV. Oh, to any Tipstaff fans your favourite Administrator is getting an upgrade here, enjoy!

* * *

I blinked, certain I hadn't heard Tipstaff right. "I'm sorry, you what?"

"I took the files, and why shouldn't I? It's part of my job, not that anyone around here appreciates me." He sniffed.

"Tipstaff, I apologize, but I'm not following you. Why would you need a whole briefcase full of files?" I asked.

"To do my own work, to see what sort of mess had been made and what had been taken. Everything here is so disorganized." His voice pitched slightly higher and his hands fluttered nervously. Tipstaff's eyes grew wider and he paled. I turned to see the Grand Mage approaching, looking livid.

"So you just handed over everything to the killer after you were done?" He barked.

Tipstaff quailed and seemed ready to faint. He hated displeasing anyone, especially Erskine, whom he hovered over whenever he was allowed. The man meant well, I realized, he was just lacking in social skills and didn't need treated so poorly because of his timidity. I had to speak up for him.

"I don't think he did, Grand Mage. I think they were stolen."

Erskine looked at me. "Ghastly is right, it _is_ creepy when you do that. You sound like you're getting ready to hit me for having a title."

"Sorry, I hate authority figures. But the good news is I don't see you as one."

Erskine laughed and his temper cooled slightly. We could see Tipstaff trying to rally, to come to the defense of protocol and procedure, but he just sagged backwards, and I had to catch him by the elbow before he fell. Something was seriously wrong. Tipstaff was timid, but he wasn't an outright coward.

Erskine and I helped him to sit down at his desk, Skulduggery watching at a careful distance. He must have rang Ghastly, because both he and Tanith showed up and Tipstaff was soon surrounded with more people than he'd likely seen worried over him in a long time. Ghastly made Tipstaff tea, and he sipped it slowly, looking at Ghastly in such profound gratitude that I was touched. Not only couldn't I recall anyone liking Tipstaff I couldn't recall anyone doing anything for him either.

"Are you all right, Tips- Administrator? Do you need me to get a doctor?" I managed to use his title, to grant him a token of respect, and it didn't sound like a threat, at least I didn't think it did.

Tipstaff smiled at me faintly. "No, thank you, my dear. I'm fine, I just haven't eaten all day, maybe it's been two days, I've been busy. They are right, I know you mean well, but please don't use titles with anyone, you do sound angry even if you don't mean to."

"Mmm, I hate people telling me what to do."

"Really? I love it. I couldn't do this job otherwise, could I? Now _telling_ people what to do I have a problem with, so I guess it doesn't come out right."

"You do tend to shout." I admitted. "The food here is terrible though, do you need me to get you anything?"

"No, thank you for offering though. The tea is all I need for now. The files were stolen but I honestly thought I misplaced them and I know I cause enough trouble as it is. Not being liked is part of an administrator's duties, I'm afraid."

"If you want the popular vote, install a Starbuck's in the lobby." I offered.

He laughed, a sound I'd never heard from him before. "Don't you think I'd like to, Detective? But we can't have anything civilian here, and we are so restricted on what we can do. Believe me, I've tried to fix things. The food, the hideous walls. We're not even underground like a proper Sanctuary because some genius thought we'd blend in better above ground." I smiled. I couldn't believe it but Tipstaff was actually a likable person if given half a chance. Once we were sure he was all right Skulduggery and I withdrew, leaving Erskine and Ghastly talking to Tipstaff quietly.

Skulduggery waited until we were far enough away from the office before speaking. "Are you sure you feel well? You were nice to Tipstaff. I thought you liked annoying him."

"I'm not suddenly a nicer person, but until the cave spirit is dealt with I'm cutting him some slack, it also isn't exactly the time to have the Administrator angry at us, but we're back to square one. Anyone could have stolen the files, or he could have misplaced them."

"True, but I'm thinking they were stolen. Tipstaff is too much of a straight arrow to take anything home with him, he sleeps in his office on the floor when he needs to work on something."

"You know this because?"

"I stepped on him once. But in my defense his office was dark."

"Skulduggery, you can see in the dark."

"You know that, but Tipstaff doesn't." He grinned hugely. "I needed some files he refused to let me see, so I simply snuck in and memorized them. I stepped on him on the way out on purpose, having unscrewed the light bulbs first of course. The man was screaming and running around banging into things. Great fun."

"You ARE a cat in a detective suit. A vengeful, spiteful cat at that."

"I never said I wasn't. Now my dearest combat accessory the hour is late and I think it is time I got you to bed." He took hold of my arm and we started back to our room.

"I could put the armour on, you know, we are two days out. It might make sense for me to be on alert."

"It would, but I'd honestly miss holding you for the night. Still if you think it is best-" He opened the door to our room, holding it for me to enter. I looked at him and sighed. For as highly intelligent as he was, Skulduggery didn't let silly things like logic or practicality get in the way of getting what he wanted. He made me coffee, his now nightly ritual, and then tilted his head at me expectantly. I was fairly sure we'd already kissed that night, but then realized we hadn't. I walked towards him, grinning.

"Something you want, Detective?" I teased.

"You know what I want, Valkyrie."

"World peace?"

"Very cute, quit stalling. Unless of course you don't want to." The man knew how to fight dirty, I'd give him that. But my lips had barely touched his teeth when a vision of him with China came on that was so powerful I pushed him away, reeling backwards. I would have fallen if Skulduggery hadn't caught me. "Valkyrie! What is it, what's wrong?" I didn't get a chance to answer as the room went dark and I could tell from the startled shouts in to corridor they had gone out everywhere else as well. Our window broke and I heard Skulduggery curse then start to struggle with something.

I called my armour to me, and could see a gruesome sight. The body of the killer was struggling with Skulduggery, trying to drag him towards the broken window. Skulduggery summoned a flame and touched it to his attacker, who went up with a sudden whoosh. But the arms that held him stayed locked tightly, and Skulduggery himself yelped as the flames bit into his clothing. I snapped both palms out, dousing them with water, then followed up with my shadows to club the killer in the head repeatedly.

He snarled, loosing his grip on Skulduggery, then roared and leapt at me. Skulduggery hit him with flames once more and I held him in midair, displacing the air to hold him in place while he burned. Skulduggery was using twin jets of flame now, then broke them off, drawing his revolver and emptying into the flaming head of the corpse. The head exploded and the corpse went slack.

Skulduggery doused the flames with water just as the lights came back on and Ghastly burst into our room. Ghastly looked at the headless corpse, and the ruined room, then at Skulduggery and me. "There've been attacks. All the corpses in the mortuary have reanimated. You got one here, but we need help with the rest."

Tipstaff, to be useful was blaring the instructions on how to kill the zombies over the address system I didn't even know we had, his normally mild voice a commanding roar. By the time we reached the main hall Tanith had dispatched a zombie by herself and was charging towards a second, but that wasn't the thing that caught my attention.

What caught my attention was Tipstaff standing his ground against a zombie. He seemed to be displacing the air, for the creature howled and snapped and tried repeatedly to walk forward. Then before Tanith could go to him he let the air go and simply snapped his hand at the zombie's head, which exploded, sending a gory shower of chunks all over.

Tipstaff turned on his heel with military precision and left, passing three Cleavers were herding the last remaining zombie into a containment unit of some sort with a sneer of distaste. My blood went cold because I knew exactly who had sent the unit up, even though I'd been told the Sanctuary fired it. Dr. Nye. Even a zombie, even a cave spirit-possessed zombie didn't deserve Dr. Nye's attention. The poor beast seemed to know, and whatever was inhabiting the body seemed to flee, leaving an empty husk behind.

The zombies had been quelled after a short time and I knew every one of them would end up with Nye. It came into view, apparently brave enough to leave the ward it'd been retained in, though God knows it was no longer allowed to see patients. Ghastly had joined us and I glared at him. "I thought you told me they fired it."

"I did, and that's what I was told, Valkyrie, I'm just as unhappy to see its ugly face as you are. No doubt the weasel knows something it shouldn't."

Nye spotted us and approached, being disgustingly apologetic, mainly because it knew we hated it so much. It was a filthy war criminal, not to be trusted, and I'd found that out the hard way, twice. If it was there it was still torturing people on the Sanctuary's dime and it knew we knew that too.

"Detectives, always an utter delight!" It made a wheezing laughing sound rubbing its hands together as if readying for an operation. Skulduggery drew his revolver and Nye stepped back, frowning. "I only wanted to offer my assistance on your case, detectives, I think I know a way to capture this thing you are fighting." He sounded like he wanted to experiment on it and he most likely did. Still, Skulduggery holstered his gun and nodded.

"Go on." Skulduggery said, and Nye turned to him with delight.

"The late Kenspeckle Grouse, you remember him? He was working on a device, like a Soul Catcher, only much more powerful. I do believe I know where to find it as well."

"Why are you helping us?" I asked.

"Because once you capture it I want to study it, that's the deal."

I looked at Skulduggery and he just shrugged. "Deal." He said.

* * *

Nye of course was too canny to take just our word and waited until Erskine agreed. We all knew Nye could be leading us into a trap, and most likely it was. But it insisted there had been a secret room under the old theatre where Kenspeckle had hidden certain work. Certain work it gloatingly implied the Sanctuary funded even if it was illegal.

After it had Erskine's promise it folded it's long form down slightly to fit through his doorway and was gone. I knew nobody intended to keep the promise to it, even if it did threaten about having powerful patrons.

Nor was Ghastly about to let me or Skulduggery to go anywhere near the place. It was the wee hours of the morning and still dark enough that a van of Cleavers was sent to the area. We waited in Erskine's office for them to report back, everyone growing more tense as they reached the destination.

Communications abruptly cut off and Erskine swore softly. Ether the mission had been comprised or the Cleavers were dead, but either way when the minutes drug on with no further reports, we knew the truth. Tipstaff stood up from where he'd been quietly observing, his jaw set. "I'm going in after them and nobody here is stopping me. If you simply must know I don't like killing anything, even that zombie, so I've been hiding what I can do for a very long time. Killing used to be all I did, because that's about all my powers are good for. I've only ever worked alone and I refuse to take anyone with me."

Nobody laughed, since this wasn't the Tipstaff we were used to. He stood tall and firm, and there was a cold edge to his voice. His gaze had gone hard, and he clearly hated what he was about to do. There were sorcerors like him, people whose uses of magical powers was more suited to killing than the more peaceful pursuits most sorcerors followed. Tipstaff, timid though his disposition might be in every day life, was clearly specialized in his training.

Despite his insistence we all trailed after him to his office and watched as he dug a sidearm out of one drawer. Tipstaff loaded a clip and put several more in a pocket, then nodded sharply to us and left.

* * *

I followed Tipstaff, still not liking the idea of him going alone. "All this time, the way you act, is so they wouldn't find you isn't it?"

He nodded tightly. "Those in power will hear of what I've done, remember me, they'll want me to kill again, and I hate killing, It isn't my fault it is all I'm good at, Detective Cain."

"That explains why your such a lousy administrator, no offense meant."

He looked sideways at me and snorted. "As soon as I get the device I'm bringing it back and leaving. I hate this job almost as much as everyone here hates me. I give them five minutes before they are telling the right people what I did."

I saw Ghastly, Skulduggery, and Tanith had followed at last, and put a hand on Tipstaff's arm. He looked at me in surprise, his hard face softening into its usual expression. "I didn't see anything tonight, Administrator, nor did anyone else. We need you here, we need you against the cave spirit."

Tipstaff glanced over at Erskine who nodded as did everyone else. He looked at us, then the door and sighed. "I'm not getting rid of any of you, am I?"

When we all shook our heads he sighed and agreed we'd all go in Ghastly's van. Tipstaff sat in the back with Erskine, and we settled in for the hours long drive.

* * *

Tipstaff told us briefly about his time in the service, how men like him didn't even exist not even to elite groups like the Dead Men, because he existed to neutralize them if they ever became a threat. It was said in a friendly fashion, but I think everyone in that van realized he could kill us all before we reacted, Skulduggery included.

Tipstaff leant forward between the seats and touched my shoulder briefly. "Thank you for your kindness earlier, Detective Cain, and for offering to protect my identity. You have no idea how much I hate my talents, and I've only ever used them when I was sure it was the right thing to do, but as you can imagine, Sanctuaries lie." He sounded sad.

"My last mission I was told the target was a man trafficking in women and children, using the monies to support those who would expose magic to the world. I was given a dossier, everything seemed as sure and certain as it always was. Only later did I find out his only crime was to disagree with the latest war the Sanctuary was fighting in. I'd killed an innocent man, all because they were afraid he was hurting the war effort." His voice became bitter, hard.

"So I disappeared, got surgery, developed the personality you know as Tipstaff. My training was so good it was easy to fool everyone, to stay the helpless, meek and inoffensive Tipstaff." His voice took on a sing-song quality and I shivered slightly, wondering how many times he'd wanted to kill everyone, myself included. "But I realized tonight I couldn't let innocent people die just so I could stay hidden."

"The funny thing is, that IS my personality when I'm not killing people. I jump at everything, I flee from a fight, I'm sissified. But when it is time to fight, then I change into this. So maybe this is the put-on personality, I really don't know. But I do know you have my gratitude, Detective Cain, you were the first person at the Sanctuary to apologize to me for anything, ever. You're also the first person to offer me anything, Elder Bespoke getting me tea tonight excluded. So thank you, if you ever need me to neutralize a problem I'm here for you."

The rest of the ride he was charming, talking about everything under the sun, friendly, sociable. Everyone relaxed in his presence, though Erskine did look rather pale and kept giving him furtive glances when I looked into the rear view mirror to see them. Skulduggery just sat beside me, his grin behind his disguise rather self-satisfied. Now I understood his comment about fighting back to Tipstaff. I looked at Skulduggery, and he nodded, knowing as always what I was thinking. Somehow he'd known and had been trying to goad Tipstaff into a fight all this time, just to see who would win. The problem was my money would have been on Tipstaff.

* * *

We arrived at the ruined theatre, the van for the Cleavers dark and silent. Tipstaff directed Tanith and I to the van, warning us to be careful of explosives, and took off down the alley, Ghastly and Skulduggery on his heels. Erskine he made stand lookout at the front of the alley, something I think Tipstaff reveled in doing. This was his mission after all, we were all along for the ride.

We cleared the van. It was safe and no traps or bodies were inside. But I heard the faintest ticking sound from the engine. An engine that had been dormant for hours. "Bomb!" I yelled to Tanith, and I took off after the three men, Tanith going to get Erskine out of the blast zone.

I caught up with the men and displaced the air around them, shoving them into a side alley, getting glares and curses from all three, then the van went off and I barely had time to raise a shield of air. Shrapnel exploded past us, burying itself in the far wall of the blind alley. There had been no device, Nye had been told to send us here by whoever controlled him.

The explosion had been deafening, setting off car alarms blocks away with the reverberations. But we had to hurry, to get back to our own van, which Tipstaff had had the foresight to tell us to park several blocks away. We had all piled in and were racing back to the Sanctuary as the first alarms and sirens went off, and police cars raced past us. My heart was still jack-hammering and I realized I was holding Skulduggery's hand too tightly. I relaxed my grip and looked over at him and caught his wan smile. Only Tipstaff was laughing, regaling us with how much fun that was, and how many missions had been traps, and wasn't working at a Sanctuary fun?

* * *

We got back with the sun bright for once, it figured it would have to be on a day we had to be inside. Tipstaff told us to leave Nye to him, winked, and told us it had been a pleasure knowing us. When Nye was found dead hours later, we all managed to look surprised. Why, we didn't even know he was in the Sanctuary, hadn't he been fired, and what was the world coming to? Skulduggery looked at me after our debriefing with Erskine and Ghastly, which had really been talking about nothing, since we all knew about the killing and who did it.

"You have, as the unfortunate saying goes, the luck of the Irish, Valkyrie. Because it was dumb luck that made you apologize when you did and to make the offer you did. I refuse to believe you did it out of a sense of goodwill." Skulduggery said dryly.

"I felt guilty, OK?"

"Well, lucky us that you did. I'd always known he was something, just not that much of a something. Oh, I heard of him during the war. He'd infiltrate our side, taking our corrupt generals and such. He killed black ops when they went rouge too. Now we know why no one ever suspected a thing. Who would expect a mouse like that to hurt them?"

"Mice can roar, Skulduggery."

"My God, she's read a book by an Irishman. Will wonders never cease?"

"American-Irish, you're the one who told me to read more, Skulduggery, at least I think it was you."

"May have been, but then I say a lot of things. But my, what an exciting time we've had of it. If you weren't trapped in that armour I'd take you out to a late breakfast."

I looked down in surprise. "My God, I forgot I was wearing it. Those civilian cops could have seen me, Lord, how dense am I?"

"Mmm, they could have seen me too, you know. We all take risks of being found out. I'm pleased it is so natural to you now, and thank you for saving my life, again."

"Don't mention it. You'd do the same for me."

"Yes I would Valkyrie Cain, but may I do something before you remove it?" I nodded, wondering what he was up to, and Skulduggery kissed me, right there in the foyer of the Sanctuary, ignoring any strange looks we were getting. I knew now what Vile felt when I touched his armour, and the sensation was heady.

* * *

I was edgy as we exited out into the sun, and not leastwises because Skulduggery had coaxed me out of my armour. Something seemed wrong that day, and with the sun high it the air we'd have to walk. Every step felt like I was walking onto a live firing range, and when a trash bin fell over in a sudden gust of wind I jumped at the metallic clang.

Skulduggery took me in his arms, soothing me. "Shh, Valkyrie, it's OK, it really is. You're going into delayed shock. It's fine, you're safe, the danger is over now, hush."

"Skulduggery, someone tried to kill us!"

"Someone's always trying to kill us, but you're too beautiful to die. I am of course, already dead, so there's that." I laughed at the poor joke, thankful he was holding me. Still something felt wrong, and as we continued walking my shoulders were bunched. Skulduggery was reaching a soothing hand over when it happened. A passing van careened off the road, and the sliding side door flew open. Before we could do anything magical blasts caught us both full in the face. Skulduggery roared in pain, and I fell to the ground unable to see. I couldn't breath and the darkness came up and swallowed me.

* * *

I came to in a Sanctuary bed, Ghastly keeping watch. I tried to sit up and realized I was shackled. "Ghastly, what-"

He looked at me and there were tears in his eyes. "What did I tell you two about not leaving the Sanctuary? What? Skulduggery's gone, we don't know who's taken him."

Then I knew why I'd been strapped down because I tried to surge forward, screaming for my partner. Ghastly started to cry openly, and I fell silent, miserable. This was all my fault wherever he was, whatever they'd done to him, this was all my fault.

"Why take him and leave me behind, why not kill me too?" I asked brokenly. Ghastly shook his head and just held me as we both wept. Hours later when he was sure I wouldn't hurt myself, he released me, and held me close as I took a few tottering steps to his office.

We hadn't been there long when Erskine came in, his face bloodless. "Hold her down." He said. I looked at them confused. Ghastly grabbed my shoulders and Erskine came forward and knelt before me.

"Valkyrie, sweetie, I'm so, so sorry." He was crying now too. I looked at him in confusion.

"What are you sorry for, Erskine, we'll get him back, we always do." Erskine just wept softly as a trembling assistant came in. The young man looked at me with terror in his eyes as he came forward with a box. I knew what had to be in that box and when he opened it there was no mistaking what it was because I knew every fragile bone, every contour, every detail that I could make out. I looked at the skull and hands of Skulduggery Pleasant and passed out.

* * *

 **I have no words. A dark day. I'm not even sure if he is alive at this point, because as we all know dismantling is the one thing that can kill him.**


	47. Chapter 47

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Tanith, Erskine, Tipstaff, Lord Vile or Valkyrie. Valkyrie is still 24, still her POV. A Man Chases A Girl (Until She Catches Him) is a song sung by Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds from the 1954 film 'There's No Business Like Show Business".

* * *

I couldn't have been out too long, because when I did come to Ghastly had just finished making tea and I was on the couch. He came over and pressed a mug in my hands, looking solemn. I tried to speak and couldn't. Tanith had come quietly into the room, looked in the box, and went pale. She covered her mouth so she wouldn't scream, and I didn't blame her.

I had recognized the parts of Skulduggery, but they were truly dead now. Inert, scattered about in the box. He had been pulled apart. The teeth wrenched out, the jaws separated. Each bone of the hands free of the others. I knew there was no sense in trying to put the pieces back together. A separated Skulduggery was a dead Skulduggery, and we all knew it.

But he was my partner, my lover, the man, the skeleton I had been planning to marry. I sat up squaring my shoulders and looked at Ghastly. "As lead detective on this case I'm asking you to assemble the detectives in the meeting room, Ghastly, you and Tanith as well."

He smiled faintly to see my fighting spirit coming back, and left to assemble the detectives. Tanith wandered over looking wan, and I stood to meet her, my tea finished, a case before my that needed completion. "How can you be getting up?" She asked, her voice breaking as she started to cry at last, and I held her tightly.

"Sis, we've got a cave spirit to defeat and a Detective to avenge. We can mourn Skulduggery later, and we will, but right now we've got to go get the bad guys who did this, all right?"

We walked to the meeting room slowly, and I was honestly surprised to see the pall that had fallen over the Sanctuary. We unfortunately lost detectives all the time, and Skulduggery should have been no different, but it was. As many people as he frightened or annoyed there were that many more that truly liked him even if they had waited too late to show it.

The detectives were assembled. Some still crying, others with red eyes. The same men Skulduggery had delighted in bullying and terrorizing by turns adored him as a leader. I knew I was a poor substitute at best, but I also knew we needed to bring Skulduggery home and his killers to justice. "Detectives. Thank you all for assembling on such short notice. Ghastly, Tanith, thank you for coming as well. We've lost one of our own today, the lead, co-lead, detective on our primary case. I know full well he wouldn't want us to launch an investigation right now, but frankly I don't care what he wants. He's one of our own. Go. Go find him and bring him home. That's all detectives, and again, thank you."

They dispersed, several of them, tough battle-hardened men stopping to give me a pat, a shoulder squeeze, or a massive hug. They were both being protective and needing it, and I wished I could go with them into the field but I was needed there. I wasn't a little girl anymore. I couldn't step back and hope the adults could handle things, as much as I wanted to. I _was_ the adult, and it was up to me to bring him home and continue to lead our case.

Ghastly dug out his mobile as he left the room, holding up a finger for me to stay put. When he returned there was a certain light in his eyes I'd never seen before, and I realized he'd looked like this on the battlefield. "Luckily for us Tipstaff didn't chuck his mobile. He has a fair idea who would have ordered this and he's going for them now. He mentioned a warehouse, I think it is where we will find Skulduggery. I'm going with Tanith and you're not coming with us, Valkyrie. You need to stay here, go back over the current case. Whatever will happen, will happen tomorrow. Erskine will help you. Godspeed."

With that he and Tanith were gone and I made my way to Erskine's office. He looked up dully from some paperwork, then smiled at me. "I honestly thought you were Tipstaff for a moment, I'll miss him."

"We all will. Ghastly has thoughtfully volunteered you for the day as my help on the case, lucky you. We have detectives searching for Skulduggery, though truth be told I think Tanith and Ghastly will find him first."

"He volunteered the Grand Mage of the Irish Sanctuary? Without my prior written consent? With no paperwork or meetings? The man never did have time for office politics, but really. That's what I get for taking one of the Dead Men as an Elder. I'm hoping after all this is over, Valkyrie, you will do me the honour of taking the other chair."

"And wear those stupid robes? Not on your life, Erskine."

"I'll decree Ghastly redesign them, or better yet, we'll get rid of them, I am the Grand Mage after all, with you as an Elder we could get justice working for rather than against certain people. As a matter of fact, you can say 'yes' right now. Eldership would grant you the right to do as you please with this case, not that you won't anyhow."

"Then we loose our lead detective. I've never seen the Elder yet who got to work a case and it is too late to jump anyone else in."

"Nonsense, new Sanctuary rule from here on in: Elders all do as they please, and I'm applying that advice to the Grand Mage, first off. I know you haven't eaten and I'm getting you out of here for something right now." He came around my desk and looked at me, grabbing my shoulders. "Don't you _dare_ blame yourself for any of this, Valkyrie. You didn't plan on him being abducted, you certainly would never plan for what happened after. Skulduggery took you out as much to flaunt his blatant disregard for Ghastly's rules as anything else."

I smiled and shook my head, but Erskine held onto my shoulders. "Say you'll become an Elder. We need you to keep this Sanctuary together. The fallout is going to be rough on this one."

"All right, I will. But only because I intend to cause all the chaos Skulduggery would have as an Elder."

Erskine grinned and led me out of his office, out of the Sanctuary, and out into the beautiful day beyond.

* * *

It was good to get food into me, and I realized with a start it had to be noon at least as we sat down, Erskine assuring me that a good part of being an Grand Mage was that he'd personally see to it that Elders got to do this as often as possible, or send runners out to get us food. He'd picked a place for sorcerors, so I knew we could speak freely.

"You'll never see the Elders inside of the Sanctuary again." I told him, amused. Erskine nodded in happy delight.

"We're Dead Men, we don't do well in offices. I already know as well as you do a whole lot of officials are going to disappear on this one thanks to our former Administrator. Who we are all lucky was a rather decent and loving man, so far as professional killers go."

I laughed and we ate, both avoiding talking about Skulduggery, though by the third time Erskine looked out the window, I knew I had to say something. "It's all right, Grand Mage. I keep expecting to see him too, I did see him in the meeting room, I've thought I heard his voice and felt his hand on my shoulder. It's all right to miss him, you know. We just have to hold it together until after the case is over."

Erskine smiled softly. "You know, I keep expecting to see him walk in here. He planned for this, you know. The first day you two were arguing and he came to the Sanctuary alone, he asked me if I was serious in wanting you to be an Elder, and of course I was. Well, in emergencies an Elder need only be elected by three votes, providing the Grand Mage made up that rule on the spot and other Elder wanted her, so we voted and you were elected."

"So I've been an Elder without knowing it?" I asked, amused.

"Yes, Skulduggery said in anything ever happened to him he wanted two Elders and a Grand Mage that would do right by him. He wanted you to help lead the Sanctuary through the days ahead, he knew what was coming, somehow he just knew."

"I think he knew this morning, Erskine. Looking back, I know now that he knew, he sacrificed himself and I don't understand why, but I know as crazy as it sounds being dead is exactly what he wanted. Of course. Of course, it all makes sense now."

"Of course what, Valkyrie?"

"The dead bodies are being used, the lifeforce is used, but the spirits, the dead? Those go free. They're going to need a leader, they're going to need someone to get them and others together. This cave spirit is as powerful as a god, but it can't fight a war on two fronts, no one can. With the living and the dead both attacking we have a much better chance of winning. He planned this all along, God Bless him, he knew he had to die for the plan to work."

We rose and headed back to the Sanctuary, each lost in our own thoughts. Ghastly and Tanith had returned, and Ghastly nodded as we approached. Erskine nodded back then veered off to his office. Ghastly gently took my by the shoulders. "We found him, he is dead, but we all knew that. I need you to give me a few hours to get him some fresh clothes, his were ruined, And Doctor Morgagni is in my office now, preparing Skulduggery so you can see him. Not together, but he says it will be respectful."

"Did he get a report back yet on what was found in the killer?"

"No, but the preliminary tests show it might be organic, a type of crystal, but why does that matter now?"

"I'm thinking the cave spirit needs to implant them near the brain stem to control it's subjects, dead or alive. That's why they drop when the brain is destroyed. As bad as we all feel right now, he planned for this, Ghastly."

"I'd appreciate it if you called me dad right now, to tell you the truth."

I hugged him, grinning. "OK, dad. He planned for this, even for his death. Who do you think is going to lead the dead to rise up for revenge?"

Ghastly smiled down at me. "He always did love getting revenge and from the look Erskine gave me I know he has two Elders now to see to it he gets it. Congratulations on your landslide nomination, by they way." He smiled faintly, then continued. "But he is still gone, even if you've given us hope the lunatic may have a plan to come back as well. Take Tanith if you need her, as well as Erskine for the case. The detectives are back, but they've been reassigned. Unfortunately someone killed three officials, my, my."

I laughed. "The detectives know to do as bad a job as possible on this one, right?"

"Of course, he was one of our own. For the first time in a long time the balance is swinging towards good in this Sanctuary. Not that there aren't still troublemakers, but three recent deaths will give them food for though. Now daddy has work to do, so scat."

I laughed again. "What a way to talk to an Elder. Oh, Erskine made it official, the new rule is Elders do whatever we please. You can feel free to redesign the robes or we won't wear them."

"I elect we not wear them."

"I agree, Elder Bespoke, motion passed."

"How come you can say the title so nicely now that you're an Elder?"

"I hate authority figures, but I never said I hated _being_ one."

* * *

Tanith worked with Erskine and me for the next several hours, going over the plans the three Dead Men had worked out on the Sanctuary's role in the attack. Erskine to his credit, had been told of Lord Vile and had only shrugged in response. I assured him I'd still lead the attack on the cave spirit, that as the only Necromancer there I'd be the main line of both defense and offense.

Erskine grinned. "Normally I wouldn't spoil a surprise, but we've got some people coming in to help us, Necromancers included. I think the English Sanctuary is coming, and America was only too happy to be going to war, even if it is only against one measly cave spirit. Even the Canadian and Mexican Sanctuaries are sending agents."

Tanith blinked. "They've never shown up any other time the world was in danger, why now?"

"Skulduggery had friends in high places, he just was never aware of it, besides each of those Sanctuaries is indebted to him. So is France, and they may send someone, so may Germany, we already know Austria is helping, and of course, by special request of your Grand Mage there are several agents here from Australia as well."

A frazzled detective ran in, looking at us wildly. "Grand Mage! The dead from the hospital morgue are gone, all of them!"

"How many would that be, detective?" Erskine asked.

The man paled before answering. It is also a learning hospital, sir, so over two hundred."

This day just kept getting better and better.

* * *

Ghastly came for me and led me into his office, shutting the door and leaving me to my privacy. Skulduggery's bones were resting on a long table I'd never seen before, covered, and I knew they'd been arranged perfectly. His new clothing was folded neatly with a hat on top. His revolver sat to one side. Candles had been lit to the four corners of the table, and I realized the room was ready for a wake. Not that he'd get one until the case was over, but the thought was touching. I'd done all I could for the case, so as tradition stated I took the wooden chair beside the table and settled in for my vigil.

Surprisingly I wasn't crying, even though I was sad. I knew if he could come back to me he would, and if he couldn't I prayed his wife and child would greet him with open arms. The thought gave me a pang, but I wanted that for him. I felt as if something had slipped off or away from me at that moment and realized whatever hold the cave spirit had had on me was broken.

Why? Because I was willing let Skulduggery go to ensure his happiness? I realized then the feeling was alien to the cave spirit. The idea of self-sacrifice was repellant to it and it couldn't and didn't know love. I thought I head a slight rattle from the table and looked over. It could have been a million things, the Sanctuary shifting, tremors from the Earth, a bone falling out of position. But it happened again, and I saw the sheet shift ever so slightly then fall silent. I was loosing my mind, I had to be. Skulduggery Pleasant was dead. He couldn't come back to me, not this easily.

Now the sound came again, an annoyed rattling sound and I drew back the sheet. The bones rattled again, I saw them rattle. It couldn't be, it wasn't possible. But as I picked up a tooth and applied it to his upper jaw it locked in with a snicking sound.

I tried the other teeth, and each locked into place, then his jaw. His bones has been laid out in order, and it only took the slightest touch for his neck vertebrae to snap into place, then his collar bones, shoulder bones, ribcage and spine, his arms and hands. A skeletal hand grasped mine, and Skulduggery turned his head towards me. "You keep your hands to yourself, young lady. I'll get the rest or your father will have his bone accents for your wedding dress." I drew him into a hug, then pulled away, blushing, realizing for the first time that he had no clothes on.

"Oh dear Lord, you're naked. Sorry, Skulduggery!" I apologized.

He laughed slightly and gestured for me to turn around while he snapped his pelvic bones into place, giving a slight yelp from time to time. "You're much gentler when you do this. Well, that bit is finished, if you'd be so good as to slide my upper leg bones into the sockets I'll keep the sheet in place." I turned to find Skulduggery laying back down, the expression on his skeletal features angelic, and pushed his femurs upwards gently until I felt them go into place, looking at Skulduggery who was smiling placidly. "It actually feels nice when you do it, do the rest, please?"

I nodded and set to work, not even turning when the door opened. Ghastly appeared by my side, looking at Skulduggery then back at me as I set about figuring out the structure of his feet. Skulduggery fussed and giggled, drawing back a half completed foot. "Good afternoon, Elder Bespoke, lovely day for sitting with the dead, isn't it?" He said, sitting up to get the rest of his foot. Ghastly looked at him a minute longer, then grabbed Skulduggery in a hug so tight I thought he'd undo all my hard work. Skulduggery was hugging him just as tightly, the two men crying tears of joy over their reunion.

I went out into the hallway, shutting the door behind me, leaving them in private. It opened several minutes later and a dressed and rather cocky Skulduggery Pleasant strolled out, looking me squarely in the eye, his hat tilted on his skull at a rather rakish angle. "Well, well. I must say you Elders get prettier and younger every year. Well, some of you at any rate." He shot a glance towards Ghastly who just snorted in reply. "Now if you'll both come with me I want to see the Grand Mage's reaction."

We both fell in behind Skulduggery, and didn't have long to wait, Erskine was returning to his office, and he stopped, dropping the papers he'd been carrying. "My God, I'm loosing my mind." He breathed. But he still came forward, wrapping Skulduggery in a tight hug, nearly lifting him off the ground. Erskine then grabbed me as well. "Thank you, Valkyrie. I know you had something to do with this, so thank you."

Skulduggery nodded. "I knew she'd find me, rescue my bones, and that it would give me a way to come back. Oh, I'm well aware Ghastly and Tanith found me, but I was also there in the room when you sent the detectives out, Valkyrie. I tried touching you too at one point, did you feel it?"

"Yes, but wasn't there an easier way, Skulduggery? Couldn't Tanis and Leap have done something?"

"They are doing something, they are leading the forces of the dead along with several others you needn't worry about. But I needed to be there, to call in favours so we could convince the recently dead they had to fight back over the abuse of their corpses."

"You're an amazing man, Skulduggery Pleasant. Do you realize half the world will be here tomorrow if they aren't already because of you? Then you get the dead to listen as well? I think Erskine is right, we do need you as an Elder."

"Agreed." Ghastly and Erskine said in unison. Skulduggery shook his head in refusal.

"Oh no, you'll never get me to wear robes and obey rules, though it should be most amusing to see _you_ do so, Elder Cain."

"There are no robes." Ghastly said.

"No rules either." I supplied happily.

"No boring meetings in those stupid thrones, no coming into the office if we don't desire." Erskine put in. "We're free to meddle in field work as much as we want to, to come and go as we please. "

Skulduggery blinked. "Who made up those rules?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Our wise and illustrious Grand Mage." I said, grinning broadly.

"We'd still be Detectives?" Skulduggery asked doubtfully.

"Of course." Erskine assured him. "Three of the people who would have protested your nomination are dead now, so are your kidnappers, all thanks to Tipstaff. Never though I'd say something like that without laughing."

"All right then, I accept. Poor Tipstaff would be frantic, the old one at any rate, but some chaos is what this Sanctuary needs, to be honest." He turned to me and Ghastly. "Well, it is drawing on to dinnertime I believe, and if my one of my fellow Elders would be good enough to collect Tanith, I think we should all go out to dinner. You're invited as well, Grand Mage."

Erskine grinned in delight. We all had fully charged mobiles after all and he honestly had the papers he'd had for busywork, so we all left the Sanctuary, getting into Ghastly's van. Skulduggery stopped me before we got in, drawing me into a searing kiss before pulling back and grinning at me cockily. We got in and I knew there was something in that grin that should worry me. He'd done something just in the short time he'd been back I should have caught and missed. I knew it would come to me so I didn't worry about it too much.

Still all through dinner it niggled in the back of my mind, something he had told me once, but what? I knew it had to be something and from Skulduggery's amused glances from behind his disguise I knew he saw me working at it. I swore he winked at me from behind his sunglasses, but I only smiled in return. Skulduggery seemed almost hyper or high on sugar and when we returned to the Sanctuary I wondered how on Earth I'd get him to meditate. We were strolling back to out room arm in arm when it hit me.

I stiffened and heard a suppressed snort of laughter from Skulduggery. I turned to him, fixing his hollow sockets with my stare. He'd shed the disguise and the glee on his face was all too clear to see. "Skulduggery? Do you remember the night you saved my life?"

"Of course I do, my dearest combat accessory, I was rather dashing, wasn't I?"

"Yes, yes you were. But that isn't the point here. Do you remember what you told me that night?"

"That there were all sorts of places you could hide that people wouldn't even look. Yes, I'm sure it was something like that."

I took a menacing step forward. "What ELSE did you tell me, Skulduggery? Think really hard."

"Oh, you mean about when I died?" He asked innocently. A little too innocently.

"Yes, Skulduggery, about when you died. What happened after?"

"Oh, we both know that, Valkyrie. They burned my body as a warning, it worked too."

"Yes, but what happened with your body, Skulduggery?"

"My bones were put in a sack and dumped in a river if I recall correctly."

"Do you remember how you got out, Skulduggery?"

His grin became wicked. "Of course I do, my dearest combat accessory, I put myself back together."

"That's right, Skulduggery, you put yourself back together. But you were never really dead this time either, were you? You just wanted out of that body so you could get to the other side easier."

"Tír na mBeo, but yes. I did need out of the body to get there and back again. But that isn't why you are so angry, is it? And _my_ , you are beautiful when you're angry."

I felt a smile creep onto my face and laughed. "All right, Skulduggery, just tell me this, then. If you pulled yourself together last time, how come you didn't do it this time?"

"Oh, that. There's a good explanation for that."

"Which is?" I asked curious.

"I wanted to feel your hands on my body before our wedding night."

"WHAT?"

Skulduggery laughed. "You completely forgot what I told you, Valkyrie, so I figured I'd let you experience the ecstacy of touching me. Was it as good for you as it was for me, hmm?"

"Skulduggery, Pleasant, I'm going to kill you!" I roared, summoning a fireball to my hand. He flicked his own hand out dousing the fireball instantly, then leaned forward with a grin.

"No, you are not, Valkyrie. What you are going to do is give me a repeat performance. Right here seems as good a place as any." He stepped forward, a wicked grin on his face, and I yelped, jumping backwards. Skulduggery was chuckling wickedly, and as he advanced I gave another yelp and took off running, laughing, Skulduggery at my heels, laughing like a maniac. I got to our room and charged in, intending to slam the door, but Skulduggery took off from behind me, flying, and grabbed me, going forward until we landed on the bed, with me pinned helplessly underneath him.

Without even looking he gestured behind him and the door slammed shut, locking itself. "Now, where was I?" He asked with a dangerous growl in his voice. He leant forward and I thought he was going to kiss me, but he fell to the side in helpless laughter. "You fell for that twice now, Valkyrie. Just how gullible are you?" He chortled. I looked over at him and gave him a wicked grin.

"Who says I'm the gullible one, Detective Pleasant? A man chases a girl until she catches him."

"What?" He asked, trying to rise, but I pinned him underneath me. "I've got you right where I want you, Detective Pleasant."

"Valkyrie, now this is hardly proper, now Valkyrie, you want to think this through-" It was my turn to fall over, laughing helplessly.

"The look on your face was priceless, Skulduggery! Let's never get married, you are WAY too easy to wind up." Skulduggery shot me a glare and got up to make me coffee.

"I missed you, you know." He said over his shoulder.

"I missed you too, Skulduggery."

"As much as I missed you?"

"More. Sorry to tease you like that. I'm just relieved to have you back, you know?"

He nodded happily and came back to sit down beside me, helping me rise into a sitting position.

"You know, my dear, I have as of yet to thank you properly for saving my life in the alley, then for putting me back together." He paused and grinned at his words, "I was teasing, you know. I honestly needed you to pull me back together this time, so thank you."

"Skulduggery, that's really sweet of you."

"Mmm, and I still have several weeks at least of teasing you, of course I can think of more fun things to do with you, like our evening ritual for instance." He dug out his mobile (how on Earth Ghastly recovered it and his ring as well I didn't know) and brought up some music. The first strains of 'A Girl Chases a Girl (Until She Catches Him)' poured from the speaker and I laughed.

"What rather handsome and dashing mentor taught you to like good music? That's right, _me_." He grinned and pulled me into his arms before continuing. "Mmm, I am going to teach you to waltz at the very least, Detective Cain."

"That's Elder to you, Mister." I giggled as he nipped at my neck.

"That's Elder to you, Sister." He shot back, his hands starting to roam restlessly. His mobile rang and Skulduggery groaned but answered it. He listened, grunting then hung up. "That was Ghastly, just now. He was on his way back to his shop when he saw zombies meandering on the roadside. Well, we'd better go, sorry about the coffee."

Skulduggery escorted me to the window, tearing away the hastily erected plastic tarp, and we were off into the night sky once more.

* * *

 **What? You thought I'd just leave him dead? He was already dead and just fine outside his body in the first novel, remember? This chapter was supposed to be a lot darker and sadder but wasn't for two reasons. One, I promised a reader I'd never kill off Skulduggery in the story (at least not forever) and two, Boz Scaggs wandered into my head and started playing 'Lido Shuffle'. Hope you liked it!**


	48. Chapter 48

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Tanith, Erskine, Wreath, Billy-Ray, Springheeled Jack, Lord Vile, Scapegrace, Thrasher, Cleavers, Rippers or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, story is still in her POV. For those keeping track, I listened to Goblin's 'Dawn of the Dead Main Theme' and 'Suspiria Soundtrack' as well as 'In the House, In a Heartbeat' by John Murphy from the '28 Days Later' soundtrack. In the dark, alone. Spookity.

* * *

Luckily Ghastly had the forethought to tell us to meet him a good way from where he'd spotted the zombies. Unluckily, civilians had spotted them as well. By the time we landed people were running in the streets of the small town, running out _towards_ where the zombies had been seen, intent on living out a zombie film fantasy at long last. They screamed and hollered as they ran, carrying all manner of weapons. Guns, knives, crude homemade clubs made from table legs, even a couple of flamethrowers. Some wore homemade armour, some leather or at least thick clothing. I didn't give them five minutes before they were all dead.

I looked at Skulduggery in dismay and he just shrugged. "We already know they aren't 'real' zombies, so there's no chance of infection. Honestly we could use the help until the Cleavers get here."

"What happens when someone gets bit and someone else shoots them, Skulduggery? It will give the spirit a brand new body to jump to."

"Not without the crystals or whatever they are, but you're right, we can't have civilian casualties." We walked across the street to meet Ghastly just as the first gunshots started. Ghastly looked towards the sounds and sighed.

"We have people on the way to contain this, but for right now we draw back. That crazed mob is going to shoot at anything that moves, including us, so get in. We got in to see Tanith in the front seat, and she managed to blush when I looked at her. If she thought I hadn't figured out she'd been going home with Ghastly at night she was a strange woman indeed.

Ghastly had gotten in and was backing away when the crazed mob came around the bend, charging right towards us. They looked insane, many were splattered with blood and the sight made my heart sink. Zombies didn't bleed. They came closer, roaring, screaming, a few still carrying homemade weapons. I wondered if they would kill us all at once or perhaps eat us alive in a manic attempt to blend in. But they surged around the van and kept going, and when they crowd cleared we saw why.

The zombies might have been stabbed and shot, quite a few were on fire, but not a single one had been shot in the head. Ghastly cursed and parked the van, and we all clambered out. I was going to summon my armour to me, but Skulduggery stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. "You're strong enough for this without it, Valkyrie. We're Necromancers, remember?" He asked with a terrible smile. I returned it and we turned to face the slowly shuffling zombies. These weren't like Thrasher or Scapegrace. I would have loved zombies like those two used to be at that point.

These things were mindless machines made of rotting meat and propelled by the will of the infesting cave spirit. A few moaned, some were chewing on torn limbs from the attacking mob, and then I spotted him. The man who'd run past me in the stupid yellow shorts and blue top with ratty trainers on. They'd bitten him, nearly tearing his jaw off, and he was shuffling towards us now too. There were also other fresh zombies, those missing the limbs being feasted on. _What a day to be wrong about bites being harmless._ I sighed.

Tanith drew her sword and Ghastly dropped into a fighting stance but I knew he'd be useless without a weapon, as skilled an Elemental sorcerer as he was. I concentrated, summoning only the shotgun, and tossed it to him.

"You have my permission to fire that, aim for the head." He nodded his thanks, and was the first to attack, taking aim. Being enchanted, or cursed as you see fit by Necromancer magic, the blast took off the heads of six zombies, the shot spreading outward in a manner impossible for any non-magical weapon. Ghastly grinned over at me taking aim again, and I turned my own attention towards the advancing dead. One looked like a sprinter and I saw him eyeing me. Just as he started to run I summoned my shadows, spearing him through the eye, sending him back into the horde.

The zombies caught him, tearing him apart, feeding in a mindless frenzy on one of their own. It sickened me to see it, and I wondered why until I remembered. The cave spirit was a cannibal in any host. Maybe we could use that to our advantage, but for now the sight made me ill.

"Valkyrie, concentrate!" Skulduggery barked. He was throwing shadows beside me as well, but it seemed like the number of zombies was growing, and indeed they were. Creatures long dead were joining the ranks, and we were soon surrounded on all sides. It was almost fascinating to see creatures so rotted they no longer held together, some crawling forwards as half bodies, but I knew I couldn't afford to be distracted again.

I shook my head and speared a wretched looking zombie that had crawled near my feet without being seen, then threw shadows at the mass that was closing in behind us. Skulduggery glanced at me and I nodded. I trusted him to be at full power, even without the armour of Lord Vile. I wrapped Tanith and Ghastly in my own shadows, and we watched Skulduggery soar above us, gathering the shadows and the darkness of the night to him, stronger and stronger they pulsed and I realized what he meant to do. I used my own shadows to grab Tanith and Ghastly, then took off to stand in the air directly behind Skulduggery, who nodded in appreciation.

"See? That's what we do training for, good instincts, by the way. Now hold still, the blast will be directed down, but I'll still have to shield us from deflection." I drew my shadows closer, thickening them and put a supportive arm around Tanith and Ghastly. To their credit they didn't fuss about being off the ground helpless. Skulduggery's shadows pulsed faster and faster, coiling in tighter and tighter, then he sent them blasting down and the zombies simply exploded into a gory mist. He brought up more shadows to shield us as the power from the blast raced back up into the night sky.

When the chaos settled there were no moving zombies. I realized then why people had feared Lord Vile. I had always imagined a long drawn out battle if he faced a group of warriors, a chance for the other side to strike a blow, but this was instantaneous. There was no mercy, no hesitation, not a single zombie had been missed. The blast had been so concentrated that although there were gory chunks splattered across it, Ghastly's van was fine. We landed and he went to it, examining it as Skulduggery would have examined the Bentley.

"How many?" I asked Skulduggery.

"Two hundred. But not our two hundred I'm afraid, or not all of them at any rate. The Cleavers will clean up this mess, there are others who will as well, but it will be a miracle if magic doesn't get out to civilians in the news."

He looked helplessly at Ghastly who shrugged. "That many zombies? Video must have gone viral by now, but there are those who can fix it. Magic gets exposed more often than we'd like. You had no choice, Skulduggery. That many zombies would have drawn attention at any rate."

Skulduggery nodded and we all piled back in the van pulling out over the remains of the horde.

* * *

Ghastly, as per Erskine's declaring all Elders free agents drove directly to his shop and set about making tea. He didn't even bother to ask, but got out three mugs. I went over and hugged him tight. I knew he hated situations he had to use magic in. "Hey, dad." I said, cuddling into his warmth as he wrapped his strong arms around me. He always smelled like a dad should. Like cologne and that comforting undefined dad scent. He'd always done his best to be a dad to me too, even if it would have broken Skulduggery's heart for him to protect me from his mother's visions.

"You're not buttering your old man up for something, are you?" He teased, returning the hug.

"Not this time." I teased back. I knew he would refuse to work on the dress with either Skulduggery or I there. At that point I honestly just wanted to be married, but Ghastly was my father as far as we were both concerned and I could do this one thing for him. I knew it would break him heart not to wait for the dress so I would, as frustrating as waiting was.

We had our tea, everyone content to be quiet, when I looked up in horror. "Did anyone notice _any_ zombies that looked like hospital cadavers?"

Skulduggery cursed and shook his head before speaking. "Then we have a massive problem, it can control all the vacant dead bodies it can get to. But how is it getting them out of graveyards? They aren't strong enough to dig out."

Ghastly sighed. "They aren't getting out. The ones you saw, the old ones, the people in that town liked to keep them, I don't think I need to say what for."

"How many in that town kept them?" I asked warily.

"It has a reputation. I'm guessing a lot are still locked up in hidden rooms, though when those fools see them moving..." I looked at Skulduggery and we both burst out laughing. Ghastly looked at as sharply, then realized there was a living skeleton present and grinned. "But you two are different. You can think and move, Skulduggery, my daughter isn't some sort of degenerate and I'll kill the first man who says she is."

Tanith gasped and I turned around to see the distorted face at the window. Zombies were here as well. We froze, watching as a scythe flashed and the zombie was decapitated. Cleavers and Rippers were roaming in the streets beyond, the few street lights showing them locked in battle. Luckily they were winning.

I didn't even hesitate to call my armour to me before striding out into the night as my dead senses flowed over me and I knew the others were behind me. There were simply too many zombies spread out too far for a mass attack not to kill our allies as well, so we separated, I wielding shadows as I hacked open first one zombie's skull then another, finding a rhythm to the gory work. I sensed something and turned around, spearing a zombie before it could attack Tanith from behind. We were fighting back to back then, and although I would never tire, being dead, I knew she would. She decapitated another zombie that dared come too close and I could feel her tiring.

I was about to grab her and soar into the night when the ground started to tremble and roar. Ghastly was using Earth as his attacking power, taking out our attackers, turning them first solid them coming in, taking off the heads with savage blows of his fists. But he was also weary, and we both knew it. Skulduggery had taken to the air and he came down for Ghastly as I soared up with Tanith. We landed on a roof, looking down in dismay. There had to be at least forty zombies left, and the Cleavers and Rippers were starting to tire.

Then we saw an unbelievable sight. Vampires were pouring into the streets. Normally mindless creatures they were leaping onto zombies with savagery, only attacking zombies, ripping heads off with abandon. Zombies were going down, the tide was turning. The Cleavers and Rippers redoubled their efforts, but Skulduggery and I stayed put, attacking from the roof, refusing to abandon Tanith and Ghastly. Some of the zombies spotted us, and howled angrily, beginning to attack the building we were standing on. We were fighting now to keep them away from the doors and windows, striking as quickly as possible, but they surged in.

"Next roof, now!" Skulduggery yelled at me, already picking up a weary Ghastly. I grabbed Tanith and we flew over. I saw free Cleavers charging the building, and Rippers were finishing off the last of the zombies. The vampires remained, but backed off without attacking, snarling hatefully. Then they disappeared and the Cleavers let our unlikely allies go. When we were sure the area was cleared we took Ghastly and Tanith down to the ground and a Cleaver ran up to us, addressing Ghastly.

"The Sanctuary has been secured, Sir. We've cleaned up this outbreak and the one you faced tonight. The Sanctuary reports a surge of power twice from the cave but no further outbreaks have been detected. We have to get you all back to the Sanctuary now, Sir." Ghastly nodded wearily and we all got in the van.

* * *

The Sanctuary was ordered chaos. The agents from all over the world already there, and, I realized, they were the only reason the Sanctuary still stood. We hadn't had own own dead to break out anymore, but those from a local mortuary had come calling, seemingly attracted to the magic inside. Doctors saw to Tanith and Ghastly, Skulduggery and I refusing to leave them. We knew that if tonight had been bad then tomorrow night would only be worse, and the night was far from over. But the rest of the night was eerily quiet, as if the cave spirit had spent itself.

Skulduggery and I wanted to go press our attack then and there, but everyone else was too weary to follow, and Ghastly refused to let us go alone. "He was like this during the war too, Valkyrie. He could have fought forever. We had to hold him back at times. Speaking of holding back, where were our dead allies tonight?" He frowned at Skulduggery.

"They need time unfortunately to break through, but they will indeed be here tomorrow night. I suggest at this point we don't worry about good guys and bad guys and release any prisoners we know who will fight on our side."

Ghastly nodded. "I've already had the Sanctuary reach out to several people who deserve arrest, promising absolution of all past crimes if they help now. I hate doing that, but at this point humanity as a species is in danger."

Luckily for us those who did their jobs hushed everything up, but we had been lucky. We knew if magic got out we'd all either be exploited or hunted down and killed, the world not being inclined to give outcasts as they would see us a good leaving alone. I wondered if we would be so lucky the following night and settled in for some well-deserved meditation, Skulduggery doing the same across from me.

* * *

I awoke refreshed and could sense the twenty eighth day had dawned. Mainly because Ghastly sat up in bed with his morning paper, but I let it count anyhow. He and Tanith at last got cleared to leave and Skulduggery and I waited patiently outside for them to emerge dressed again in normal clothes. As Elders Skulduggery, Ghastly and I got to clear everything Erskine suggested instantly, sparing us all a boring meeting.

"We don't know if the criminals we've contacted will even bother showing up, or what good a few more bodies will do tonight, but there's hope they might. Those who agreed to help that we have in custody will be released tonight when it is far too late for them to do anything else." Erskine said as he smiled tightly.

We really had nothing to do but wait. The cave, strange as it seemed, shunned daylight, though sorcerors who fought the zombies reported no reaction to bright lights of any kind. It also feared our shadows, so it was a paradox. What feared both light and darkness, and why hide in a cave if darkness terrified you?

I had a flash of insight then, one I could only attribute to the part of Lord Vile that resided in my armour. The creature hated daylight, but not light. If we did enter the caves I knew the light would be blinding, that at the core of it we would find the spirit. It wasn't darkness it hated, but the potential power of the dead our shadows held. It could only control the dead bodies when the old spirit fled, actual zombies would have been a problem for it. It was weak, so very weak, and I wanted so badly to go kill it. Skulduggery put a hand on my shoulder and I jumped in surprise. "Valkyrie? Did you see something?"

I told them what I saw and they listened attentively, all of them refusing to let me go find the enemy. Skulduggery tilted his head to look at me, and I could tell he was surprised I hadn't grasped the obvious when he spoke. "It's a trap, Valkyrie. No doubt it is weakened, I'm sure it took damage with every body we destroyed, and taking bodies by force must have sapped it greatly. But remember it wants magic to feed on. Still, we'll have to start massing at the hospital, in abandoned buildings in the area, so let's get ready."

I nodded and we left the Sanctuary, finding Ghastly's van waiting for us. We got in and drove to the warehouse where the Irish Sanctuary was gathering with our allies. There was no way of course to tell who was from where, and as it was agreed the head of each Sanctuary would defer to Erskine things were going surprisingly smoothly.

I looked at Skulduggery as we stood in the back of the room as Erskine spoke from a makeshift stage, the other Grand Mages sitting behind him, looking bored. "You know if we could tell them apart, actual zombies would make great allies right now."

"I'd thought of that, but unfortunately it can be impossible to convince them to help at the best of times."

"Say's who?" A slurred voice asked. I turned, seeing a ragged skinned zombie, several more stood with him, but they all wore distinctive black uniforms and helmets. The few people that did turn around and saw them shrugged, and I noticed several more wore yellow vests as well. A rather proud Scapegrace stepped out from behind them, grinning broadly. He, well she, looked dreadful, and I knew she'd been bitten again. As expected, Thrasher was right behind her, hovering in absolute adoration.

"Found these on a visit to London. True, I had to bite them, but I naturally took over as Queen of the zombies." I didn't dare congratulate her on accepting her new gender.

I merely blinked. "You bit _cops_? Don't you think they'll be missed?"

"No, no, not at all. They have so many, right?"

I tried not to cry, and luckily being dead made that easy. I elbowed Skulduggery and he turned, taking in the sight with a sigh.

Scapegrace preened. "They walk beats alone at times, it was easy to collect this many, then get them to help collect more. They're trained to fight. They'll shoot the enemy without fear." She declared.

The zombie nearest her shuffled in keen embarrassment and she turned her head. "What?" She snapped.

"We don't carry guns, Mistress."

"What?"

"Normal London police officers do not carry guns, Lord, even Americans know that." I growled, and an American agent turned and smiled, giving me the thumbs up sign with a nod.

"You'd have needed the Armed Response Unit for guns, lady." He laughed, then returned his attention to Erskine. Scapegrace looked like she was going to faint, and Thrasher put his arms around her before kissing her passionately. I noticed she didn't resist. Ew. Skulduggery made a slight gagging sound beside me, and even the zombies turned away in disgust. Skulduggery grabbed my arm and led me away.

* * *

"I've never been so happy to be dead in all my life. Afterlife, whatever. That was truly revolting. Though I wish I could get you out of that armour. I'd adore a taste of coffee right now." He sighed.

"Just because I need to abstain, doesn't mean you do." I reminded him.

"But it isn't any fun drinking alone. Five minutes, please?" It was late afternoon so I shrugged and touched my jaws, shedding the armour. It fell away and I willed it back to the Bentley. I looked at Skulduggery.

"OK, five minutes, though I wish I could spend them getting the Bentley." Skulduggery smiled and led me over to a table that looked like a bad joke. Detectives and agents were assembled from the world over, and coffee and doughnuts competed with tea and cold pizza. Skulduggery of course thought a doughnut and pizza were a fine idea with coffee, so he led me away to a secluded corner where I could let him taste without drawing too many stares.

I wondered if I'd also have to clean him afterwards, but he was right. Minute bits at least seemed to absorb into the skull. He made his happy chirruping sound and blinked his eyes at me. I could tell only his training and self-respect were keeping him from cuddling me in room crowded with other detectives and smiled faintly at him. "How is it you talk me into whatever you want so easily?" I asked him, rising and donning my armour once more.

"You used to fight me tooth and nail, Valkyrie. Don't you remember our lovely arguments about Necromancy?"

"Yes, but I also recall handing my ring over in the end."

I heard a laugh and turned to see Solomon Wreath behind me. "If we didn't need you, I would kill you." I growled, summoning my armour and drawing my shadows. Skulduggery came to stand beside me, his own shadows curling around his fist and Wreath backed up several paces, stepping into a Necromancer that wore two old-fashioned guns. The man gave Wreath an annoyed swat.

"Watch where you're going, you stupid pup." He growled. Wreath mumbled an apology and melted into the crowd. The older Necromancer turned to me and whistled.

"So it is true, there was a second set of armour a Necromancer enchanted. Nice guns by the way."

"Yours as well, Sir."

He grinned with pleasure. It was surprising what good manners could do. "If that pup ever bothers you again, you let me know."

"I will, and thank you kindly for the offer, Sir."

He nodded and melted away into the crowd. Skulduggery made an amused sound at my elbow but I ignored him. "You never call me, Sir." He teased. I looked at him, amused.

"You wouldn't like it if I did, Sir."

Skulduggery winced. "Don't so that, it's creepy."

"Yes, Elder Pleasant."

"Not that either."

"Of course, your exalted holiness."

"Valkyrie!"

"Sorry. Well, no I'm not." I burst out laughing and he glared at me. "You look like you do when you get caught in the rain." I teased. His glared deepened and he turned back to listen to Erskine with an affronted huff.

"Skulduggery, I'm sorry." I said, nudging him lightly with my shoulder. He ignored me so I turned my attention to Erskine as well. He finished his speech and sat down, his eyes silently pleading with us to rescue him.

I dug out my mobile, luckily having his number now that I was an Elder. "Enjoying yourself, Grand Mage?" I teased when he answered.

"I don't even know what I just said." He groaned.

"Makes two of us. Should I actually be paying attention?"

"Not really. Everything said in this room will be changed the moment were in actual battle, so I suppose you're the only wise one here. Not that too many people are listening. I wish I could get off this stupid stage." He sighed.

"Tell the Grand Mage next to you you have a woman on the phone who just found out about the other one and is livid with you. He's clearly listening you everything you say."

"I find the implication about my love life insulting, but I'll try." He leaned over and said something I was fairly sure was nasty to the other Grand Mage because the man's eyes lit up. He nodded and Erskine left the stage.

He smiled as he walked up to us. "I told him you two fools are going to escort me outside and she's waiting for me there."

We fell in behind him, Skulduggery having no doubt heard both sides of the conversation, even if he was still ignoring me. I sighed with relief to step into the late afternoon sun. We weren't the only people to escape the meeting. Groups clustered here and there, talking quietly.

One group in particular caught my eye and I knew the invitation to have all past crimes forgiven had been a good one. They didn't recognize me, but two of the men stared at Skulduggery. Springheeled Jack doffed his top hat politely in Skulduggery's direction before returning to the conversation, and Billy-Ray Sanguine waved cheerfully.

* * *

 **Ah, come on. You KNEW I couldn't write the story and leave my two favourite gentleman out, didn't you?**


	49. Chapter 49

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Springheeled Jack, Erskine, Billy-Ray, China, Tipstaff, Ghastly, Tanith, Fletcher, Thrasher, Scapegrace or Valkyrie. Jack the Ripper is an OC though. Val is still 24, story is still her point of view. Readers who dislike seeing Fletcher bullied may want to skip this one.

* * *

I felt Skulduggery stiffen as Billy-Ray waved him over. I laughed, and looked over at Skulduggery. "Why, he's being friendly, Skulduggery. Go ahead and say 'hello'."

"Not without you, I'm not." He growled through his disguise. Mine was already thankfully in place, and I shrugged as we walked over, leaving Erskine to watch in amusement. Billy-Ray turned to us, actually looking delighted to see Skulduggery.

Even Springheeled Jack looked relieved, and I could tell why. Leaning casually against a streetlight, stood a legendary figure few men would cross. Some said he was an Adept who adopted the name, and hopefully he was. But the elegant and frighteningly handsome Jack the Ripper looked resplendent as ever in his formal opera dress and silken top hat. He black cape hid his hands, but I knew he never kept his scalpel out of reach.

He smiled, and the lunacy of that smile reached his eyes. "Hello, Detectives. So good of your Sanctuary to force England to absolve me of my crimes." He giggled, withdrawing a scalpel from underneath his cape, but Skulduggery's gun was out before he could move further.

"Don't make me kill you, Jack, you know I will." He thumbed the hammer back. Jack looked at him, seeming to reach out towards the gun, and I had my shotgun to his temple before he could move any further.

Erskine had wandered over, clearly amused. "We said you were absolved, Jack. Nobody said anything about forgiving you. Any of you." He finished, his own smile clearly a threat. All three criminals slunk away at his words, clearly astonished and rather resentful that he wasn't trying to stop us.

I looked at him when they were out of earshot. "You'd have let me kill him, wouldn't you?"

"He was threatening, Skulduggery, so yes, I would have."

Skulduggery looked at us both as he holstered his weapon and I willed my shotgun away once more. "I thought you were going to shoot him. Weren't you just tormenting me five minutes ago?"

"Yes, but I'm your partner Skulduggery, that's my job."

I could feel his smile through his disguise. "Yes, yes, I suppose it it. That, and shooting people who attack me."

"That too."

Erskine shook his head. If we can find Ghastly and Tanith we should break for a late lunch. You ought to get out of that armour for a few minutes more, Valkyrie, and that doughnut and pizza won't last you long."

"But I don't get hungry or tire in my armour, Erskine."

"He's right, Valkyrie. We can't let you become my carbon copy. Besides, there's always a chance you'll let me sample something and make Ghastly go green again." Skulduggery said delightedly.

I looked at him as we went in. "You aren't hungry, are you?" I asked as we reentered the building.

"Not that I'm aware of, but I am craving tastes."

"That would be how hunger is defined, Skulduggery, more or less."

"Oh. I'd forgotten the sensation. Then yes, I suppose I am hungry, my most loyal combat accessory, so you simply _must_ feed me before I waste away to a mere skeleton." He looked down in mock horror. "Too late!" He wailed, throwing his arms around me and burying his head in my shoulder to fake sobbing.

I giggled as I patted his back soothingly because the intake and release of air tickled then helped him upright as Ghastly and Tanith approached. There was so much I wanted to ask Skulduggery. Were these new abilities genuine, a type of evolution on his part? Or was he so desperate to be loved as any other man was loved that he was using magic to fake the abilities? If it was the former I was delighted as his friend and partner, it hurt too much to think of it being the latter.

I knew he said they were real, and I believed him, but I'd also seen the hurt glances he'd taken to giving the mirrors in our home when he thought I didn't notice. But then I knew Ghastly was the same way. Erskine was perhaps the only man in the room who didn't worry about his looks, and the day would come when he would.

I desperately wanted to tell Skulduggery that women felt the same way. That I did. That I truly and deeply loved him as man and couldn't believe my good fortune, that I dreaded the day he saw me for how hideous I was. I didn't know a woman who didn't feel ugly at times with the man she loved, if only because she could never beautiful enough to win his love.

We'd found a quiet side room, and soon enough a young sorcerer had been sent for and returned with take away. He came in nervously, and a vaguely familiar man strolled in behind him. He wore all black and had black hair closely cropped in a military style haircut. He was slight of body, but it was clearly all packed with tightly coiled muscles. Of course. He smiled at my recognition and strolled over. Erskine looked annoyed, failing to recognize who it was, and the man winked at me.

I grinned and realization dawned on Erskine's face. He clearly was remembering every time he'd barked at Tipstaff, and hoping the former Administrator was in a forgiving mood. "You're safe, Grand Mage. I left my piano wire at home." Tipstaff joked, sitting down beside Erskine.

He looked at all of us, perfectly content to let us see the real Tipstaff, who reminded me more of a panther at rest than the man I remembered. I realized no one was speaking to him, though this time it was more out of uneasiness than ignoring him and spoke. "You look amazing- What do I call you now?"

"Tipstaff is fine. It's the name they gave me around the time the Dead Men were formed. None of them were supposed to know about me, but I think Skulduggery did."

Skulduggery looked at him steadily. "That voice." For when he wasn't pretending to be the old Tipstaff, Tipstaff's voice was strong, cultured. "I met you on the battlefield. I didn't even know you were the one they had sent after the general."

Skulduggery turned to me. "There was a general on our side, completely mad with power. Tipstaff here was sitting outside his tent, playing a frightened aide de camp most convincingly. I never suspected a thing." He looked at Tipstaff again for a time, but said nothing. I realized they would have liked to fight then and there. Skulduggery had no pity for the general, but anyone who threatened the Dead Men, his men, was the enemy. Tipstaff clearly felt anyone who felt he was the enemy was betraying our side.

Ghastly, ever the peacemaker, gave both Tipstaff and Skulduggery a Gibbs slap. Both men yelped, and rubbed the back of their heads. Ghastly just smiled serenely. "I'm still right, Valkyrie, my morale is certainly approved."

I laughed, drawing glares from both men. "You know, I think Abby did it too, and since she's like a daughter to Gibbs you gentlemen are both welcome to another round." They both grumbled and went off into a corner to commiserate with one another, exactly what Ghastly had intended.

"See? That's the fun part about being a parent. Sometimes you have to punish both kids so they will band together against you."

"Poor Skulduggery is going to have a dented skull. I whacked him a good one for teasing me a few days ago."

"Yes, he told me, the big baby. But that's what he gets for being stupid. I told him not to mention China, ever, as a joke."

"Speaking of the dragon lady, I assume she's dead or she'd have shown up by now."

"Mmm. I've heard rumors she's alive. Don't look so livid. She isn't a threat to you, she never was."

"You're not a woman, you wouldn't understand." I said quietly.

"You think she wouldn't be just as likely to seduce you to hurt Skulduggery?"

"She tried and failed. She was subtle about it, but my taste in women is much better than her." I joked.

Tanith giggled. "She tried with me too. Maybe her powers only work on men."

"Stupid men, maybe. I could never see what the fuss was about." Ghastly remarked. He looked annoyed at the shock on both our faces. "What? Not every man goes to pieces over her."

"Skulduggery did, and don't lie on his behalf, dad. He was stupid enough to admit it." Ghastly sighed in reply burying his face in his hands.

"You, you're the reason I have no hair. Whatever he felt for her was not the same as what he feels for you, all right?"

"I know, dad." I said, hugging him. "Besides, I'm sure he'd rather fight an invasion of zombies at my side than anyone else's."

"Indeed I would." Skulduggery said, having drifted back over. He offered his hand to me and helped me rise, and I was surprised at the strength in it. He'd always been strong, but this felt like he was calling up reserves, or, I realized, no longer holding back. He led me outside where we could have at least some privacy before our meeting. "You're not frightened of China showing up, are you?"

"Honestly? No. I can throw it in her face that I wouldn't sleep with her, and that is always loads of fun." I lied. "She doesn't handle rejection well."

"True. Why did you think she helped kill my family? I wouldn't be with her, not while I had them. She saw getting rid of them as a way to get closer to me. Yes, I did have feelings for her at one time, but not how I feel for you. This, I suppose, is where you call off the wedding." He joked, but still turned his head.

I sighed. "Claude Rains once said as a character that marrying a woman he loved was only half the battle. He got her away from other men, but couldn't force her to love him. I at least know you love me, so maybe I'll win the war-" I cut off, staring at the flickering shadows that were drifting down the street.

"A ghost?" I asked uncertainly as an ethereal being drifted up to me. She looked like the sweet grandmother type, complete with shawl and her long silver hair pulled back in a bun.

"Taibhse, but yes."

The ghost wended her way around me, curious, reached out hands I barely felt to pull down my scarf. "Creatlach." She breathed, clearly enchanted. She cooed and patted me, then drifted back into the flowing river of spirits.

Skulduggery gave a faint snort of amusement, then burst out laughing,

"So not funny, Skulduggery, the word applies to you as well, creatlach." He chortled in reply.

"You would know 'skeleton' in Gaeilge, wouldn't you? There's hope for Éire yet. Though I can hardly talk. I think I once told a person a word was Irish for something."

"Mmm. But the dead are showing up like this and as zombies. The vampires too if our allies from last night return."

"They will. If for no other reason then they will protect their food supply. But the dead are rightly angered to see their remains disturbed, and they will fight for that reason. I want you to be prepared for any of the dead we might meet, Valkyrie, I-"

"I already know your wife is coming, Skulduggery. I am dead, give me some credit for sensing things at least."

Skulduggery turned and looked at me. He seemed like he was trying to say something, but stopped, and shrugged helplessly. He tried again. "No, she isn't coming. I looked for her but then I realized I'd known for a long time exactly where she was. But I can tell you my wife would be the first to approve of us... I had a chance to stay there you know, to be a man as I once was. But I couldn't leave you. I wanted to be here with you, even as a skeleton."

"Hey! Some of us are proud of what we are." I growled, giving him a chance to sidestep the issue.

But he shook his head, doggedly determined to see his speech through. "I loved my wife, Valkyrie, I always will, forever, you know that. I just don't want you feeling the same way towards her you do towards China." He was weeping and my resolve melted. I took him into my arms, holding him as he wept.

"I already told you I love her for loving you, Skulduggery. She was a good woman. I love her for loving you, I could never hate her, it just isn't possible."

Skulduggery seemed about to say something else, but the sun was lowering in the sky. We only had time for one last meeting, and whatever he needed to say would have to wait. Skulduggery spoke quietly to the Grand Mages, who in turn would pass the information on to others. Then of course came the brief meeting with our dead allies, the leaders of which stepped forward. Scapegrace and Thrasher nodded happily and agreed to lead the zombies, and any others that poured in on our side. Thrasher had figured out we'd need a way to identify our own in the dark, and had thoughtfully sent for yellow vests like the police were wearing for all of them.

It was a good idea and I knew then who the brains of the pair was, which wasn't saying much. They went away and ghostly couple stepped up, clearly married. If I could have hugged Tanas and Leap right then and there, I would have. They smiled at me and we exchanged quick nods as Skulduggery went over last minute instructions with them.

Leap came up and lowered my disguise, smiling at me in delight. "I've watched over you for a long time." He said happily. "Anyone with the sense to hate China as much as you do is a wise woman indeed. Keep her away from Skulduggery, that's all I ask. And keep that emblem, you'll need it some day."

He returned to Tanas and they left to lead the dead and I shot Skulduggery a look.

"You could have mentioned they got married, Skulduggery."

"Oh, didn't I?" He said, a little too innocently.

"No, you didn't. Why?"

"I just wanted to see your reaction when you found out. The look on your face was priceless."

"Do you ever get tired of being right?"

"Not really. Now I believe our forces are massing outside as it will be dark soon. Hmm, you know I think we do have time for one last kiss, and it will be evening soon, and you do owe me for last night I think-" I went to him allowing him to touch my jaws and the armour slid away. I kissed him and he was as enthusiastic as ever in his response. So much so that we didn't part until a male voice cleared itself.

I looked over and sighed, it would have to be He of the Stupid Hair. "You want something, Fletcher?" I asked.

He looked like he was sulking already. "I was told to come and find you. You've got two ways into the cave. Me or that Texan. I bet we both know which one you'll choose." He smirked.

"That Texan is called Billy-Ray by the little lady, but it will be Mister to you, son." Billy-Ray growled, entering the room with Jack, Jack touched the brim of his top hat in my direction.

"Hello, poppet. This boy annoyin' you? We're ready to escort you to the entrance. Billy-Ray will take Skulduggery down first, then you."

"She's not going anywhere with you, you freak. You've only gotten uglier from what I heard. Nice scar around your neck. Loose your heard to some girl?" Fletcher sneered, being petty as usual.

"At least he didn't loose out to a skeleton." I said cheerfully. Fletcher started to sulk immediately, and disappeared as the men started to laugh.

"You've got a sharp tongue on you love, but a right proper lady you are, defending old Jack like that, and he thanks you for it. I understand you'll be married soon, my congratulations. We'll be ready when you are, poppet." He doffed his hat again politely and left with Billy-Ray, who was still smiling over my catty remark.

"Well I can see I have nothing to fear from Fletcher. Not that I thought I did, of course." Skulduggery said, grinning at me. "I like the part about loosing out to a skeleton, I'm sure that stung. It also made me realize you're happy I am a skeleton." He chuckled softly, drawing me into another embrace, nuzzling into my happily.

I kissed him again, but only briefly. We had to go, and soon. "Skulduggery, if we need Lord Vile, don't hesitate. It won't bother me a bit to leave Ireland to be with you. Not that I think we will, you are at full strength, though a bit short in the homicidal rage department." I teased, donning my armour once more. We left the room, leaving behind any sense of normalcy we'd feel for a long time.

* * *

A detective came into the warehouse, frantic. "The hospital, the hospital! The zombies have massed there and are attacking, it's chaos!" Men and women flooded out into the night at his words, finding more zombies in the streets. This wasn't just a horde, but an invasion. The battle raged around us, and it was all Skulduggery and I could do to stay with our escorts. Billy-Ray and Springheeled Jack were struggling, so we freed them and I handed each a peacemaker.

"You have my permission to use those. Aim for the head." Billy-Ray took to the weapon right away, and Jack caught on at last, leaping and twisting out of range, firing at his attackers with an instant skill I admired.

Several zombies were on me at once, one biting down on my arm, loosing teeth in the effort, and I smashed an armoured fist through his head. The battle was too tight for my shotgun or sword, so I massed my shadows, fighting as Skulduggery did. Then the dead were around us, ghosts raging as they attacked, some decapitating the enemy, some crushing skulls, but all eager for war. A terrifying scream erupted, and I realized the Bean Shide had shown up to call the ancestral dead to attack. This only doubled the fury of our ghostly allies, and soon they were opening a path for us to struggle through.

The zombies howled and raged trying to reach us, but those from our own side erupted from the ground, dragging them howling underneath. I'd never seen zombies look that enraged, even when fighting them, and was glad they were on our side that night. Still the enemies ranks seemed to be swelling and we just made the cave as a near thing. Billy-Ray took Skulduggery first, then me, and the cave was indeed so brightly lit as to have blinded human eyes. Billy-Ray disappeared back into the cave wall, not arguing the fact that we had to face the enemy alone.

* * *

Skulduggery and I had walked into the ever-increasing light for what seemed like ages, before reaching the blinding core. It seemed to hang there in bitter contmept, then threw spears of light at us, that Skulduggery easily deflected with his shadows. We were keeping even, deflecting hits, but giving none when I missed a spear and it grazed my armoured shoulder. I yelped, more out of shock than anything, because it did no damage.

But the yelp was all it took. There was a massive burst of shadows and Lord Vile stood where Skulduggery had been, his shadows massing and pulsing, the sheer rage in his visored gaze frightening. Even in training he'd never been like this. The god-killer struck, a massive burst of shadows and power roiling off him, plunging the cave into complete darkness. The cave spirit started to scream, and kept screaming. I could see it's twisted form in the darkness, impaled on multiple shadows writhing in agony.

Vile turned and looked at me, tilting his head, inviting me to take the killing blow. I strode over, grabbing the thing but its ugly head and pulled upwards sharply. It gave a final dreadful scream as flesh tore and blood spewed forth first from the twisted mouth then erupted from the neck as the head came free and it was dead.

Vile looked at me and for what I believed was the first time ever, he laughed.

* * *

Skulduggery and I emerged above ground to find the battle won. As soon as the cave spirit's true form had been killed the parts of it that had infested the dead died as well. Our allies were busy tending the wounded, making sure that any bitten people were herded off with the zombies that had fought on our side. They welcomed their new brothers and sisters tenderly, going off to wherever it was that they hid. Perhaps it was mistake to let them go, but we let vampires go that night as well. The dead sank back into the ground, and we went in search of survivors.

Ghastly ran to us as soon as he saw us, enveloping me in a massive hug. He looked down at the decapitated head I still clutched and grinned. "A true Gaelic warrior, that's what you are." He took the head gently, admiring my work, still grinning. "This I'm keeping in a jar in my office, you see if I don't." He said, walking off to find a way to preserve his prize, no doubt.

Skulduggery was staring at me keenly. "Seeing you refuse to give up your prize is the only thing that kept Vile in check, you looked like an absolute madwoman. He wasn't about to cross anyone who was in that much of a battle frenzy, well, at least not if she was about to marry him he wasn't." He grinned, then continued. "You did the right thing instinctively. Giving the head to your father. He's the leader of your clan, such a precious prize goes to him. Be glad he won't display it on a pike like the old days. But then that's when life was fun, wasn't it?" He asked wistfully.

Tanith walked up to us, looking amused. "Was Ghastly carrying a head?" She asked, wrapping me in a massive hug.

"That he was, and your little sister took it. Quite the temper on that one. Why, I live in fear for my very life." Skulduggery teased.

Tanith grinned at me, pulling me into another tight hug. "Erskine is fine before you ask, so is Tipstaff and everyone else we know. Our only casualty was Jack the Ripper and he got pulled into so many pieces he isn't coming back." I smiled and stretched as she walked off to help tend the wounded.

* * *

Jack and Billy-Ray had both come to see us before they left, Jack shivering slightly when he heard I'd beheaded the cave spirit with my bare hands. "What was it, do we know exactly, poppet?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Nobody really knows, Jack. Maybe another creature like the Faceless Ones who thought humanity would make easy prey."

"Not as long as you're with us we won't." He fingered his scar nervously.

"She isn't mad at you, Jack, The Remnant did that. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, but I'm happy to see you alive. How did you manage it, if I may ask?"

Jack shrugged. "I don't think old Jack can die, love. But we'd best be off. A pleasure as always." He doffed his hat again and the pair left, but not before handing over my peacemakers.

I looked at Skulduggery. "We have to go back to fighting them the next time we see them, don't we?"

"Of course, they won't change, Valkyrie, and neither will we. Things will be quiet for a while, but they'll be back to cause trouble they always are. Speaking of trouble, how would you like to get into massive amounts of it by letting me fly you home? Even I could use some meditation after that battle."

I grinned and nodded, letting my own armour slip away. Skulduggery put his arms around me and I wrapped mine around him before we rose into the night sky, headed home.

* * *

 **Don't wander away just yet. There is still a wedding to come and who knows what happens after that? As Skulduggery said, I'm sure our favourite bad guys will be back to causing trouble all too soon.**


	50. Chapter 50

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Lord Vile, Ghastly, Tanith, Billy-Ray, Erksine or Valkyrie. This chapter goes out to all of those who stuck around for the first 159,982 words. Thanks! Oh, for those still keeping track I listened to the theme for 'The Odd Couple' for the bulk of the chapter, then a shot of Journey's 'When The Lights Go Down' for the romantic stuff.

* * *

I woke up the next morning in Skulduggery's arms, enjoying the warmth his bones had collected from my body overnight and now radiated back to me. He was still meditating, and I was in no hurry to move. I didn't often get a chance to just look at him since prolonged staring tended to make him nervous. I didn't have so much as a photograph of him, so I used moments like these to memorize every bone, every contour, every slight dip or turn of his bones that made his skull uniquely his. To imagine that at one time I couldn't tell his skull and another apart made me blush, but I hadn't paid as much attention to him then.

He did indeed have high cheekbones, and his jaw was strong and masculine, but not in an unappealing way. His teeth were crooked on the sides of his jaws, something I found sweetly endearing. His eye sockets were wide and deep, and I wondered at times what the face that had went with them had looked like. Not that I honestly wanted to see it, but at times like now in the dim light of our bedroom those sockets could draw me into their depths. I never told Skulduggery, but the way I could always tell if he was meditating or not was if his sockets were looking at me. Now I could tell that what passed for his eyes were closed, and he was mediating peacefully.

I could never explain it to Skulduggery, but I could read his expressions and moods, even if his face was made out of bone. His eye sockets were more expressive than the eyes of most men, and his moods showed clearly on his skeletal features as if the bones could shift to express them. It was an illusion my own mind made up for me of course, but I dearly loved that illusion all the same. It let me know he was OK, even when he didn't move or respond suddenly for hours at a time.

The first time he'd done it I'd thought he'd truly died, but I realized eventually that even the great Skeleton Detective did at times, for lack of a better word, fall asleep on the job. I think he just got so bored at times that he just drifted off into meditation, so I'd learned to be almost hyper alert on stakeouts, something that annoyed Skulduggery when he was awake to no end. I sighed and stretched, as wonderful a man as my husband was (and I didn't dare even think of him as less that a husband because he would know) I still desired a shower and coffee. I decided on a shower first, wishing of course we were married already and I could tease him awake and coax him in.

Skulduggery hated getting wet of course. He said it ruined his suits, but the real reason was that it was part of the fussiness that made me adore him. We were like the Irish version of 'The Odd Couple', and he was most definitely the Felix to my Oscar. He cleaned up after me, and constantly chided me for being a slob, but I was slowly getting better, if only for his sake. Great, now I had the boppy theme song stuck in my head as I showered. It stayed there as I came out humming it, kissed his skeletal cheek and headed downstairs to make coffee. I was still humming it as the coffee brewed and I dug in the fridge for something for breakfast.

My mobile rang and I checked it. Ghastly.

"Hello, dad!"

"Hello to you too, Valkyrie. Sleep good last night?" He sounded way too cheerful.

"Yes-"

"Great! Then when can I expect to see you two?"

"What? We just saved the world. _Literally_. We saved the world last night. I invoke our status as Elders and demand the day off."

"That's what I'm calling about. Remember that boring meeting where they elected me and Erskine? They are going to have a nifty one just to discuss your election and Skulduggery's."

"Then we quit, let them elect someone else. You knew they'll never agree to use being Elders."

"On the contrary, most people are pulling for both of you. Having the heroes who saved the world so many times as Elders will be just the thing to ensure America, England and all the other Sanctuaries go away now that we don't need them."

"Ah. So we are elected until they leave?"

"More or less. But everyone wants to put on a nice big show on how capable we are, so get Skulduggery out of bed and manage to get to the Sanctuary around noon if not before, OK?"

"That means I have to get him moving now, the drive takes forever."

"The burdens of leadership are many, Elder Cain." Ghastly laughed and rang off.

* * *

Twenty minutes later I gulped hot coffee and wolfed down cold cereal while a sleepy Skulduggery went to his room and changed into a new suit. He came down the stairs in his usual blue suit and hat, humming the theme song to 'The Odd Couple.' He grinned at me. "You were humming that when you kissed me before. I just felt lazy and didn't want to move this morning, but Elder duty calls. We ought to be naughty and refuse our positions just to watch them grovel a little. I hate most of the people who will be there, you know."

I laughed. "Last time you said you'd shoot a lot of them if you were an Elder so I hope you packed you gun."

"Always." Skulduggery replied with a devilish grin.

* * *

The drive was uneventful and we made good time. Skulduggery checked his disguise one last time before getting out, then he laid a hand on my arm before I could move. "Don't move. I'll get your door." He came around and helped me out, and I smiled at him. He smiled back through the disguise. "We do make an odd couple, don't we?"

I blinked. "Skulduggery, did you just make a pop culture reference to something that was on TV?"

"Indeed I did. I'm just full of surprises today, aren't I?"

"That you are. Now stop humming that theme or I'll be calling you Felix in front of dad."

"Good!" Skulduggery laughed. "Because then I get to call you Oscar." He was still amused when we entered Ghastly's office. Though he did do a second take to see the cave spirit's preserved head sneering at him from the far corner of Ghastly's office.

"Good Lord, Ghastly, I thought you were kidding." He said faintly. Ghastly laughed and came around to hug me.

"It isn't every day my daughter takes the head of an opposing clan's chieftain. I can't tell you how proud I am of you, Valkyrie, you really are my own daughter, you know that by now, and you remind me strongly of your grandmother on my side of the family. She's proud of you, you know."

"She is?"

"Mmm-hmm. She came to help me during the battle. As an Elder I guess they wanted me in a leadership role, but I was never any good at standing idly by. I was doing well with my Elemental skills, but she appeared after the Bean Shide wailed. We got to fight side by side, and that's something I'll never forget."

"I'm so happy for you, dad!" I said, hugging him tightly. Ghastly smiled and ruffled my hair as he let me go.

"Tea?" He asked and I nodded. He spoke again while he put on the water. "She stayed until you came above ground, they all did, all the dead. They weren't even waiting on Skulduggery, they were waiting on you. You avenged them, all of them, when you took that thing's head."

"Technically dad-" I was going to tell him the truth, but Skulduggery stopped me with a hand on my shoulder and shook his head. Lord Vile's role was apparently going to remain a secret. He'd shed his disguise, so I could tell what he meant and nodded back.

"Hmm?" Ghastly asked, turning with tea for both me and himself.

"Technically I helped by giving moral support. The victory really belonged to Valkyrie. I just stood there, useless as usual." Skulduggery supplied.

Ghastly snorted. "Don't tell me she had to rescue you again."

"Well-" Skulduggery wasn't exactly lying. Making Vile laugh had rescued Skulduggery by preventing a mindless rampage.

Ghastly just shook his head, then looked at me fondly. "You seem to like Barry's Tea more than anything. That's the gold blend, by the way. "

I nodded. "I drink Lyons too. I guess it is like the Coke versus Pepsi thing you see Americans going on about."

"Not that you've ever let me taste either." Skulduggery grumbled. I turned to him and he happily opened his jaws so I could place a dab on his maxilla. He tilted his head, considering.

"That's it? That's what the fuss is about? I like coffee better." Ghastly and I both stared at him. "What? Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I have to drink tea. I've never seen you drink it outside this office, Valkyrie."

Ghastly looked at me and I ducked my head, feeling the heat rise to my face. "I love your tea, dad, really, and I do drink tea outside of here, occasionally. You just make it better than most people."

Skulduggery of course just sat there, wearing an innocent expression. "I still don't see what the fuss is about. So I and Valkyrie prefer coffee. It doesn't make us any less Irish."

Ghastly sighed and put his head in his hands. "Where do I even begin, Skulduggery? I can't believe you two are Elders in the Irish Sanctuary."

"I have a whole cabinet of tea at Gordon's mansion, dad. I even have stash tea, and all sorts of things to make tea with. I like tea just fine."

"Teasans aren't tea." Skulduggery said serenely.

"You drink _herbal_ tea?" Ghastly asked with a groan.

"For medicinal purposes!" I defended myself.

"My daughter's a hippie. It explains the long hair. Where did I go wrong as a parent, Valkyrie? That's all I ask." I smiled faintly and he continued. "Well! It isn't as if you drink bubble tea, or that fancy sweet stuff they serve at coffee shops over crushed ice-"

I looked away and he put his head on his desk. "What has Ireland come to?" He asked.

* * *

When Ghastly had recovered from his shock he made sure we were ready to be the perfect Irish Elders, which meant putting more tea in front of me and making sure I drank it. Soon enough the representatives who would discuss out election arrived, thought there were only two on them, one fat and one thin, not a whole roomful, and we met in Erskine's office, not a meeting place.

The men clearly disliked Skulduggery, and he has his revolver out before they could blink. "Gentleman." He said smoothly.

The men looked at me. "Do something!" The fatter one screeched.

"As Elder I hereby decree any Elder must hit what he aims at. Who seconds the motion?" I asked blandly.

Skulduggery cocked back the hammer on his gun. "I do."

"Third?" I asked.

Ghastly smiled wickedly at the men.

"Then as Grand Mage I say the motion carries, fire at will, Elder Pleasant." Erskine said. The men's eyes bugged out and they just about tripped over one another to get out the door. Erskine laughed and turned to us happily. "You're Elders until I say otherwise. That WAS the full meeting. Too many of those cowards didn't want to face Elder Pleasant the day after an epic battle."

"Well, not exactly epic, Erskine." Skulduggery said modestly, holstering his gun.

Erskine smiled. "Easy for you to say. The only women who threw themselves at me last night were dead and rotting or fresh off the autopsy table. I'm loosing my touch. I always knew it would happen if I got older." He knew better than to fish for a compliment from me in front of Skulduggery. Erskine had a well-deserved reputation as a ladies' man. But luckily for me I had muscle with me. The Grand Mage was also well aware Ghastly would kill him as well. The truth was he wasn't interested in me and we both knew it, but it still wounded his pride to have women who could resist his charms.

"But Erskine, they wanted you for your brains. That should make you happy." I teased and he laughed.

"Doesn't it just? I have nothing else to do today, honestly, and neither do any of you, so why don't we knock off for the day? The Sanctuary is officially closed anyhow."

We all agreed and I was following Skulduggery out of the office when Ghastly put a hand on my shoulder and leaned in to me. "Your dress is almost finished, a few days more at most." I gave him a quick hug of thanks and he ruffled my hair affectionately.

Skulduggery had stopped to wait for me, and cocked his head as he put his disguise back on.

"The dress is almost finished. A few days at most." I swore his bones actually moved this time beneath the disguise into a massive grin.

"Good." He whispered softly before leaning in to kiss me.

* * *

Skulduggery had stopped at Yeh Yeh's for Chinese take away and we were soon home on the couch watching the cooking channel. Skulduggery had his jacket off and his tie was undone. I leaned back into him as I ate, obliging him with small tastes every so often. He nuzzled into me affectionately, holding the container of tea for me, taking occasional tastes with a skeletal finger.

"This is wonderful." I said, settling back into him more fully after setting the empty carton down. "I never thought I'd get to just relax and eat with you in front of the TV."

"We are eating together, aren't we?" He asked, nuzzling into me, the now empty cup set aside. He looped his arms around me, his hands finding mine and laughed softly. "I seem to remember us both jumping when my mobile went off. Do you remember?"

I turned my head into him, breathing in his cologne and the scent of wool and bone. "Yes, I do remember." I said softly. "We were just about to kiss for the first time if I recall correctly."

"I still want to jump every time you kiss me. I still can't believe you're here in my arms, Valkyrie." He murmured gently in my ear.

"I know. If I ever press my head into you too tightly or squeeze your hands too hard it's because I'm making sure you are really there." I said, reaching up a hand to touch the side of his skull, and he pressed his skull deeply into my hand as he always did, craving affection. I turned around to embrace him, suddenly just as shy as the first time we had kissed. Skulduggery looked just as nervous and ducked his skull. I caressed the sides of his skull and felt him shiver slightly. I touched his cheek bones and he made a faint cooing sound.

He was nervous and his hollow eye sockets looked at me trustingly. Skulduggery was trusting me not to hurt him, and the thought caused a sweet pain in my heart. Who had ever hurt him so badly that he was this wild and distrustful? I sincerely hoped it wasn't me and I closed my eyes before kissing him softly. Skulduggery returned the kiss, ever so gently, his skeletal hands tenderly cradling my head. I reached my own hands up to hold his skull with my fingertips, and I heard him make another soft cooing sound.

"You truly love me, don't you?" He asked, caressing my face when we at last parted. I nodded, biting my lip. "Do you trust me, my dearest Valkyrie?" He asked softly, his gaze tender.

"Yes, yes, I do Skulduggery. With that thing dead, it's like all the feelings I had for you- I'm sure of myself now. I'm sure you're the one I want to marry. I love you, Skulduggery Pleasant, and I can't imagine my life without you."

He kissed me again, so sweetly that I had to cuddle into him afterwards. "I love you, Valkyrie Cain. I know how difficult I've been, but with that thing dead I can tell you now how very much I adore you." His teeth found my lips again, and we parted with a happy sigh.

We spent the rest of the day on the couch, me feeding Skulduggery from various cartons, enjoying the chance to be together. Skulduggery would caress my hair, or we'd hold hands. Sometimes we kissed and held one another, but each time it was like the first time we'd ever kissed. These small things that so many couples took for granted, we were reveling in them.

Neither of us had expected to leave that cave alive, and now we enjoyed every single moment we had together, realizing how very lucky we were. Because if Lord Vile hadn't been in love with me, he would never had shown up to attack in a mindless, possessive rage, and had I not loved him just as much I'd have never killed the thing.

For I didn't kill it to save the world, or because it had killed so many people. Not even because it was evil. It had tried to hurt the man I loved. It had tried to take my sweet Skulduggery away from me and it had dared be in the presence of my beloved Lord Vile, and I would not tolerate either action. I knew Lord Vile was evil. I knew how truly close the world had come to destruction. But I'd also known the world wouldn't see him again for a very long time. He had gazed at me after I'd ripped the thing's head off in a sheer rage and laughed.

I'd went to him in the darkness, still clutching my prize, refusing to relinquish it, even to him, and his gaze had been one of adoration. Lord Vile loved me, but the battle frenzied killer in me he adored. He'd kissed me softly, for what I could tell was the final time, not even bothering to remove my armour first. His shadows had encircled me, roamed over me in the darkness, a final caress. Then he had stepped back and Skulduggery had tilted up his visor. "That was a near thing. You're lucky Lord Vile loves seeing himself in you." He'd murmured. Then he'd kissed me too.

I came back to the present gradually, realizing I had drifted to sleep for a while. Skulduggery was mediating underneath me, so I just closed my eyes and drifted off in his skeletal arms.

* * *

We both woke up eventually, wrapped in each other's embrace, and Skulduggery gave me a lazy smile. He kissed me tenderly, and I returned his affections. "I bet your dress is almost ready. Are you as excited as I am?" He murmured. I nodded.

"Even more, I think. God, Skulduggery, I still can't belive you agreed to marry me. How did I ever get so lucky?"

He laughed and cuddled me to him, then helped me into a sitting position. "I'm the lucky one, Valkyrie. You're stuck with me. But me? I get you, so therefore, I win." We picked up the empty cartons and cup we'd accumulated, or rather Skulduggery did. I got up and stretched lazily, looking at the TV that was still playing softly. I shut it off and followed Skulduggery into the kitchen. "Coffee?" He asked, and I nodded. He continued, his back towards me. "Sorry about the whole tea thing in Ghastly's office. I didn't mean to get you in trouble with him. I still don't see what the fuss is about."

"I know. Dad is old-fashioned. I think all the new ways to have tea are a good thing. But he likes to keep things simple."

"So I noticed. Did you notice Tanith was missing? I know she works at the Sanctuary now and can't hang out in his office, but her absence worried me."

I sighed. "Maybe seeing Billy-Ray there brought back bad feelings for dad. Tanith wasn't exactly wise enough to keep her fool mouth shut over what the Remnant did with Billy-Ray."

Skulduggery cursed. "If she turns up missing the way she likes to when things get heavy, Ghastly will assume the worst."

I took out my mobile and looked at him. He nodded. Her bike was in front of Ghastly's shop. It was only early evening, so I rang her. Tanith answered cheerfully. "Hello sis, what's up?"

"We missed you at the Sanctuary today."

"Right, Ghastly made me stay home, above the shop." Her voice was muffled like she was eating and I cringed in disgust.

"Why did he make you stay home? You didn't get hurt, did you?"

"No, but he's being nervous and over protective of me now that I'm-" She trailed off, and I gasped, covering my mouth before I shrieked in front of Skulduggery.

"Are you sure? I asked happily.

"Yes, he made me see a Sanctuary doctor and everything when we found out early this morning, then he drove me right back home. This doesn't make you think any less of either of us, does it?"

"God, of course not! Why would it?"

"Well, were not married yet, and you know, I just don't want you hating me. I didn't do this to trick him into marrying me, you know."

"I never though you did, sis. I know you love him and I know he adores you. What date do you two have set up?"

"About that, well, your father, I mean Ghastly, I mean-"

I looked over at Skulduggery who had of course heard everything and he shrugged. I nodded and spoke into the mobile. "A double wedding is fine, sis. You can tell dad he can start breathing again and go make you two some tea."

She giggled, and I heard her murmur something to him. I got the sense she had handed her own mobile over, and it was confirmed when Ghastly's voice came on the line. "So you aren't mad at your old man? You aren't disappointed?"

"Dad! I love both of you, I'm glad you're happy. You both deserve to have somebody to love. Plus I get a little sister or brother out of this, so I don't see anything to be upset about."

"Two little brothers or sisters, or one of each, we aren't sure yet."

"Twins?" I asked, this time unable to stop the squeal of excitement that came out of me. I heard Ghastly laugh softly and Tanith gave and answering squeal and he handed the mobile back over.

We chatted a bit more, than rang off. Skulduggery just sat watching me, a perturbed expression on his features. "Please don't ever make a sound like that again. I don't even know why women find that appealing. My ears are bleeding!"

He massaged the sides of his skull, shooting me annoyed looks. I was smiling back, then my smile faded. "Skulduggery, do we know that Billy-Ray actually left Ireland?" I asked warily.

"No, we don't and he wasn't too thrilled when we rescued Tanith and removed the Remnant if you'll recall. Call your father, we're going over there now."

I dialed Ghastly hurriedly, and he sounded amused when he picked up.

"Dad? We have no idea if Billy-Ray left Ireland or not. We're on our way, keep Tanith safe." He cursed, then thanked me for the call, promising to make some of his own, and rang off. Skulduggery and I were out the door and to the Bentley, hoping we wouldn't be too late.

* * *

 **Well, you didn't think Billy-Ray would just give up on Tanith, did you? Is there ever going to be a wedding at this rate? Not even I know for sure, and I can't wait to find out.**


	51. Chapter 51

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Erskine, Tanith, Ghastly, Billy-Ray, Springheeled Jack, Finbar Wrong, Tipstaff, Lord Vile, Darquesse or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, story is still in her POV.

* * *

Skulduggery had taken the roads at such breakneck speeds it was a miracle we weren't arrested. As he drove he took out his mobile and dialed, his whole body tense. His call was answered and he barked into the mobile. "Erskine! You're closer to Ghastly's get over there now! That's an order! Billy-Ray is on the loose." He snapped the mobile shut and I didn't say a word.

I saw now why men followed him into battle. He took command instantly when he needed to, his ruthless streak coming out. If Billy-Ray did show up and tried to take Tanith it could easily end in bloodshed, and I knew I wouldn't stop Skulduggery either. He was a force of nature when he was this angry, and the best his allies could do was to get out of his way.

When we arrived at Ghastly's shop, Erskine already there. He and Ghastly were looking to Skulduggery for orders, and he certainly felt free to give them. The leader of the Dead Men had assumed his natural leadership again, and no one dared questioned his right to do so. "What are you two doing with her on the ground floor? Get her upstairs, now!" Skulduggery barked. Tanith looked up in surprise from hugging me in greeting, and I hustled her up the stairs, the Dead Men following. I squeezed Tanith's arm gently. Both to assure her it was still Skulduggery, and to keep her quiet. He was in no mood to be challenged.

I had just gotten her settled into a chair in her and Ghastly's apartment when Skulduggery again began issuing orders. "Valkyrie!"

I jumped at his sharp tone. "Yes, Skulduggery?"

He tossed me his mobile. "Finbar Wrong is in my directory. Call him, see if he can pick up the movements of Billy-ray, you'd had better ask about Springheeled Jack while you're at it." He snapped out the command.

"Yes, Sir." I said quickly, not out of defiance, but because his sheer tone commanded respect. Skulduggery, who had shed his disguise, turned his head sharply in my direction and leveled an angry look at me. "Sorry, Skulduggery." I said, turning away to search his mobile for Finbar's number.

"Ghastly, you're with me. Erskine, stay here with Tanith and try and make yourself useful." Skulduggery ordered, disappearing into another room with Ghastly.

I was scrolling through Skulduggery's vast directory when Erskine spoke up. "He gets like that on the battlefield, I'm sorry either of you had to see that."

I just laughed softly. "Erskine, his men are in danger, the woman he is going to marry is in danger, the woman who is going to marry one of his men is in danger of being kidnapped if not killed outright, and she is with child. He's currently reliving every man he ever lost on the battlefield, every lost partner, losing his wife and child. We're lucky he isn't out shooting people in the streets."

Erskine had nothing to say to that. He busied himself making a fire and finding a blanket for Tanith. I knew he'd been attracted to her at one time, so I kept a watchful eye on him as I at last found Finbar's number and dialed. His cheerful voice came on the line. "Hey, Skulman, to what do I owe the pleasure? Wait, this isn't him, this is what's-her-name, Valkyrie. What do you need, want to speak to the old lady?"

"Would you be able to find two people for us, Finbar? We need to know where Billy-Ray Sanguine and Springheeled Jack are."

"No problemo, little lady, I can tell you that without a map. The Texas fellah is near where you are right now, giving off a strong dose of hate and obsession if you know what I mean. The other one followed him, but Billy-Ray doesn't know it. You be careful and call me if you need anything else, have Skulman give you my number."

I rang off just as Skulduggery and Ghastly reentered the room. Skulduggery seemed calmer, and of course Ghastly had managed to make strong tea for everyone, though he shot me a bemused look when he handed me a mug.

Skulduggery motioned me into the kitchen and I followed him, not missing the adorable sight of Ghastly moving Tanith to the couch and wrapping his arms around her, one hand protectively covering her abdomen and the twins. Skulduggery looked at me, his expression contrite. "I apologize, Valkyrie, you aren't one of my men, and this isn't the battlefield, it just feels like it. I hate being helpless and that makes twice now at least that you caught something I should have."

He looked down, seemingly not wanting to meet my eyes. I felt sorry for him then, seeing just how much fear he had to be feeling at the prospect of loosing anyone else. "Skulduggery, you're a man. You couldn't have forseen this in a million years." He looked at me, his head tilted curiously, and I continued. "Men expect a man to learn his lesson, to be a man about it, and to leave a woman alone after she shows no interest, correct?" He nodded. "Well, women expect differently. We're taught by our mothers and other older women that men can be dangerous, and that certain kinds of men will kill you if they can't have you. We're taught that under the worst circumstances a woman becomes little more than prey to that type of man."

"Oh, Valkyrie!" Was all Skulduggery could manage before folding me into his arms. He held me for the longest time, and I stroked his back gently. He was a good man, a wonderful man, he just was never going to be able to think of everything. I let him know what Finbar had had to say and he nodded silently. When he'd collected himself we returned to the others, and they all seemed relieved to see him much calmer. Skulduggery sat on another sofa with me, Erskine taking a chair in the middle. He was silent, but I knew what the Grand Mage was thinking.

He wasn't so much worried about the case, but shocked over the sight before him. Ghastly, a man who tried repeatedly to be rid of his scars held the woman who loved him and was carrying his children. Skulduggery had wrapped his arm protectively around me, free of the disguise when in certain company. But our handsome and elegant Grand Mage sat alone. I could tell he was pondering the unfairness of life and teased him. "What's the matter, Erskine? Didn't even one zombie give you her number?" Ghastly snorted and Skulduggery grinned, while the Grand Mage pulled a long face.

"I always knew I'd get old and loose my looks." He mock sobbed, then turned to me grinning. He was about to say something when we all heard panting and the padding of canine feet. Cú Sídhe simply appeared, his massive jaws open in a friendly smile.

Everyone else froze, but Skulduggery and I got up to greet our old friend. "Cú Sídhe!" I said happily, wrapping my arms around the huge canine's neck. I rubbed his red-lined ears and stared into his glowing red eyes adoringly. Skulduggery crouched down, also rubbing his head, and fussed and prattled to him in a purring Gaelic I couldn't follow.

Cú Sídhe closed his eyes in canine ecstacy, whining happily, his massive tail beating in the carpet. We got up, returning to the couch and he woofed gently to us before padding over to Tanith. She cooed to him, stroking his gleaming white coat, telling him what a good and fine doggie his was.

"That's no dog. That's a Cú Sídhe." Erskine put in quietly, still clearly fearful in Cú Sídhe's presence. Cú Sídhe just looked at him and rolled his red eyes, and gave an annoyed grunt, before turning back to lavish attention on Tanith.

"Meet Cú Sídhe, Tanith." Skulduggery said happily. "He's as good a friend and guardian as you could ever desire. I think he's here to help us." Cú Sídhe looked over his shoulder and nodded his massive head.

Ghastly put out a strong hand and patted Cú Sídhe. "That was you I saw in the street last night, wasn't it? You were driving the zombies away from me." He paused and I knew he wanted to thank Cú Sídhe, but had the good sense not to do it out loud.

"If you feed him, he'll love you forever, dad." I offered, and Ghastly smiled his thanks at me. Cú Sídhe wasn't interested in eating right then though, and settled himself in by Tanith's side. He looked over and I could almost hear his thoughts as his glowing red eyes found mine. Did I understand he was protecting her because she was my family, and that he'd soon be home for good with me and Skulduggery? I nodded, and he smiled, causally mentioning we could use our own fireplace more often in a final thought, and wouldn't it be wonderful to roast another hare on it?

* * *

We had kept vigil all night, because we knew Billy-Ray was close. Poor Tanith even had to have me accompany her if she got up, but since it was a girl thing anyhow it wasn't too bad. At least it got us away from the over protective males that were starting to grate on our nerves. This was mate guarding at its finest on their parts, and I was surprised our respective mates weren't sitting on us like I'd once seen a male meerkat do on TV.

The thought that his mate bit him and chased him off in frustration made me smile. I wondered if the boys would give us time to go do something fun together and doubted it. But Billy-Ray being nearby made us all tense. Now Tanith and I were catching some free time in the kitchen idly discussing going out for breakfast. We were both weary, we all were. So weary that I knew our magic would barely work, if at all. "Well, we can at least ask if they'll take us out to eat." Tanith said cheerfully. "After being cooped up together all night, I'm sure we deserve breakfast out before heading to the Sanctuary."

We headed out to find Erskine talking to the other men. He glanced at us apologetically. "I'm needed at the Sanctuary, ladies, sorry. But you can all take your time getting there, go out for something first. "

He nodded and left. Cú Sídhe yawned and stretched then looked at me. I knew he couldn't be seen with us, and playing invisible dog was beneath his dignity. He blinked out of sight with a nod. Tanith and I gazed adoringly at Skulduggery and Ghastly and the men sighed, agreeing to breakfast before work.

"We don't have any food left anyhow, sis." Tanith confided in me happily.

"Neither do we. Have you ever tried to get a man to go shopping?" I returned and we both laughed as the grumbling men followed us down the stairs. We were walking across the street to Ghastly's van when the ground erupted in front of us. Billy-Ray grabbed for Tanith, but I lashed him in the face with one of my shadows, knocking his sunglasses off, hitting the empty sockets beneath. The Texan howled with pain, and I hurried Tanith to the van.

"Get her out of here!" I yelled to Ghastly. He floored the van, Tanith barely getting to close the door. Skulduggery had been using the air to block Billy-Ray from attacking, but he went back underground. We both looked down uneasily. He erupted from the ground behind us, and we turned, both pushing back against the air to gain distance as he swung his straight razor. He hadn't recovered his sunglasses, and he looked at me, his hollow eye sockets alive with hatred.

"You, I'm gonna kill slowly." He hissed. He was advancing when a body dropped on his from above, sending Billy-Ray sprawling. I recognized the battered top hat, and just watched dumbfounded as Springheeled Jack leapt back easily, and a stunned Billy-Ray rose to meet him. Still woozy, Billy-Ray staggered forward, and got slashed across the face for his trouble, Jack's hardened nails making deep gouges. The Texan roared in pain and dropped to his knees. Skulduggery and I could at last move, and hurried forward, Skulduggery slapping cuffs on Billy-Ray.

I looked at Jack. "That makes three times you've helped me Jack, it seems to be getting to be a habit with you. Thank you, Jack."

Jack nodded, his smile hideous. "I've got issues with this one, poppet. Wanting to take another man's wife isn't cricket, is it? I might have lost my head, but old Jack doesn't hold grudges against the ladies. Besides, you were a right proper lady more than once, and old Jack likes you, he does." He touched the brim of his hat to me and was gone, onto the rooftops in one mighty leap.

* * *

Once Billy-Ray was tucked safely in a cell we met up with Tanith and Ghastly in Erskine's office. Tanith was amused to hear Jack had once again rescued me and she winked at Skulduggery. "I think he fancies her." She teased.

Skulduggery made a disgusted sound in reply and barely paid attention for the rest of our meeting with Erskine. The Grand Mage noticed and frowned at him but said nothing. I noticed and worried. I was the only one there who could really read his expression, and what I saw I didn't like.

The meeting ended and I realized I had no idea of what had gone on either. Tanith pulled me aside when we went into the hall, allowing the men to walk on ahead. "Did you hear anything Erskine said?" She asked and I shook my head no in reply. She sighed. "I'd yell at you, but I didn't either. Hopefully Ghastly heard something."

The men hadn't walked that far away and he turned and flushed guiltily. We all looked to Skulduggery who just shrugged. "Oh, I wouldn't worry. Erskine's used to not being listened to." He assured us.

Though even while he said this all three of them stared at me hopefully. Ghastly said they would meet me in his office and left it to me to go ask the Grand Mage what he said. I nodded and winced inwardly. The man creeped me out and I didn't like being alone with him, but duty called.

I knocked before reentering his office and Erskine looked up with a sigh. "None of you have any idea what I said, do you?" I shook my head no and he shrugged, waving me in.

"Grand Mage, I apologize, but if it is Sanctuary business we can't just be left to guess."

Erskine looked at me and shrugged again. "To be truthful I haven't the foggiest idea of what I said either. We do know that cave thing is dead, don't we? I suppose this is shock. We've all been through a lot, but we always keep going on no matter what. To tell you the truth Valkyrie, your Grand Mage could use a holiday, or a Valium."

I laughed. "You miss him, don't you? Tipstaff, I mean? We all do. I never though I'd say it but it's lonely here without him. The place is a mess, no offense meant. I thought he honestly did nothing, but he kept the place running. Please tell me were getting a new Administrator soon. No, don't tell me that, I want Tipstaff back. I'd give anything to hear him shrieking about using proper titles to address you right now."

"I do not _shriek_ , Detective Cain." A fussy voice informed me from the doorway. I turned and Tipstaff was there, our old Tipstaff. Timid, hovering, overly-formal, and fussy Tipstaff. It was all I could do not to kiss the man then and there. He walked into the room, casting a disdainful look at the mess of papers the Grand Mage had made of his desk. "I'm gone for several days and nobody at this Sanctuary can tell me anything, disgraceful! Did anyone even think to look for a new Administrator? Of course not. It will take me weeks if not months to get this place in any decent order." His voice was as high and annoying as it ever was.

I grinned at him broadly and he sniffed at me. It was all I could do not to hug the man to pieces. "We missed you, Administrator." I said happily, he huffed and waved me out, and I happily left him to the work of getting the Sanctuary running again.

* * *

Tanith shrieked happily when I told her who was back. "Are you getting back to annoying him?" She teased.

I shrugged. "I like him now sis. I don't feel like annoying him, though that screechy voice of his makes me want to hit him. Plus he fusses like an old biddy and hovers, God I hate that man and he's only been back five minutes."

"I'm so very glad to see you are the fount of loving-kindness you've always been, Detective Cain. I wouldn't expect anything less of you." Tipstaff said, entering Ghastly's office unannounced. He looked at the thing's head in the corner and shrieked. "What is that?" He managed to squeak out.

"Oh, that? The last Administrator who looked at my daughter edgewise. But you wouldn't do that, would you, Tipstaff? Now was there something I can help you with? Because if there isn't I want you out of my office, now."

Tipstaff's eyes bugged out of his head and he turned heel and ran. Tanith looked after him confused. "It's like he doesn't remember the last several days at all."

"He doesn't." Skulduggery confirmed. We all looked at him and he continued. "What good is a secret weapon if he knows he is one? Something tripped Tipstaff off, made him into the killer he is at times. But his programming is so complete that when he isn't on a mission he reverts back to what you saw."

"He wasn't acting the night I saw him on the battlefield, he isn't acting now. He was programmed to be like this, to deactivate until he's needed again. He'll be the harmless if rather annoying Tipstaff we all love to hate from now on. Provided something doesn't trigger his training again, of course."

* * *

Ghastly rang me that evening with good news. "Your dress is finished. Obviously thanks to Billy-Ray returning we'd rather have the ceremony sooner rather than later. I know it is sudden, but how does tomorrow evening sound for you two?"

I looked over at Skulduggery and he grinned broadly at me. I nodded in agreement and spoke into my mobile. "Tomorrow evening sounds wonderful, dad. Your apartment or office?"

"The shop, actually. It will just be us four and the priest. I'm sorry to rush things like this. I already have clothes for myself and Skulduggery, and he has your rings, so we're all set. I'll see you tomorrow night then?"

"Of course, dad. We'll be there." I rang off and looked over at Skulduggery.

"You didn't tell me you hands rings picked out and bought already." I said, amused.

"Oh, I didn't? It must have slipped my mind." He smiled faintly at me. He held out his arms and I went to him gladly, stretching out above him on the back of the sofa to hold him in my arms.

"You know, Skulduggery. This is our very last night to tease one another. I wonder what terribly indecent things I can tempt you into doing tonight."

"Don't you even start. Your father would know and he would kill me. You are sure aren't you, Valkyrie? You can step away from all of this now and I won't judge you. You don't have to go through with marrying me if it isn't what you really want."

I looked at him. He was serious. "I'd marry you right now if I could, Skulduggery Pleasant, and what happened to us being married as far as your concerned?" I growled, giving him a punch in the arm.

"Ow. Elder abuse." He mock whined, grinning up and me devilishly. His arms shot up and somehow he'd flipped me through the air as he rose into a standing position, so I landed on my back on the couch, then he was on top on me, his grin wicked. "Now I have you right where I want you, Detective Cain. Hmm, on second thought I can do all sorts of things to you your father won't know about." He started nipping at my neck then, his hands roaming restlessly.

I gasped at the sensation, grabbing his shoulders, then stroking his skull as his continued his ministrations. Skulduggery started to growl, the sound deepening as his shadows started to swirl around him. They caressed me, reaching out icy cold tendrils that made me start and grab Skulduggery tightly. He laughed, getting up, his shadows retreating. "That's just a taste of what I have in store for you tomorrow night, my dear. I'll make your coffee now." Skulduggery looked down at me smugly. As usual he'd won. He sauntered off into the kitchen and I followed him, entranced.

"Wait, when you've used your shadows on me before they were warm."

He turned to grin broadly at me. "I told you I could do a lot of things, Valkyrie. Things you can't even imagine because I haven't shown them to you yet. But when you killed for me in that cave, I realized just how very much you adore me." I repressed a shiver. He almost never referred to himself and Lord Vile as the same person. But I nodded in agreement anyhow. The last things the world needed was Lord Vile running rampart because his lover spurned him.

"Well, of course I killed for you, why wouldn't I?" I was careful not to mention any names, not sure if he was now accepting the Lord Vile part of him or had at last completely lost his mind. Not that Skulduggery Pleasant was that far from lunacy on any given day. But that's why I'd fallen in love with him. He'd told me to embrace my inner lunatic once. Now I chose to embrace the lunatic in front of me, kissing him deeply, instigating the nightly ritual. Skulduggery embraced me, returning the kiss with a searing passion that burned icy cold, his shadows starting to swarm around us.

Then my entire body was cold in his icy embrace, and he deepened the kiss, his skeletal frame so icy cold. Icy cold that grew into sheer artic chill as his armour sprang up and around him, and now Lord Vile embraced me. His shadows swirled around us and he intensified the kiss, using his shadows to caress me while he held me tight against him. I returned his attentions feeling something was seriously wrong and it wasn't Lord Vile's icy embrace.

I pulled back to gaze at him and realized what was wrong. The gaze that held mine from behind the visor was cold and aware in a way it never was before. There was an intelligence in it, an intelligence I knew all too well. It hadn't been the Lord Vile part of his personality that had helped me kill the cave spirit. Skulduggery wasn't a separate person from Lord Vile, no matter how much he insisted he was. He'd tried to tell me the awful truth, to let me know it all along.

Skulduggery had never lost his memories from his days as Lord Vile because he _was_ Lord Vile. Hiding for all these years in plain sight. Able to live quite nicely in the shadows in his own skull, waiting only for the day when he could feel complete and put his armour on once more. I sensed his smile behind his visor and he spoke. "I always knew you'd be the one to figure out the truth, Valkyrie Cain. But then you should know the truth because you never forgot what you did as Darquesse though you pretended to. I'd been wondering how you threw her off so completely and then you helped me understand."

"You _are_ Darquesse. You've simply accepted the dark part of you and no longer needed the name to access your power. There's no shift in personality anymore because you choose for there to be none. The good part of you, the part you like simply devoured Darquesse one day, and you're the result. Flawless in every way, with unlimited power, my sweet destroyer of worlds, my beloved god-killer."

I trembled at the sound of his voice. "And you are my adored god-killer, the slayer of countless thousands on the battlefield, the one who could destroy the world if he so chose. You took what you needed from Lord Vile and you destroyed him, yet you _are_ Lord Vile because you choose to be. All this time, you've been trying to tell me, been showing me. Your regaining your shadows should have been my first clue."

He laughed. "Because Skulduggery hates Necromancy with a passion, doesn't he? Or at least part of him does. Or did." Vile stepped back his armour melting away from him and Skulduggery stood before me once more. "I told you war never brings out the best of me, Valkyrie, and I didn't exaggerate. I'm not about to destroy the world because I simply have no interest in doing so. Nor am I going to ever soak the world with quite so much blood at one time ever again. But you needed to know the truth, my beloved Valkyrie Cain, my most deadly Darquesse. You realize now, you were whispering to yourself all along don't you?"

I nodded, then grinned. "We don't have to be afraid of anything or anyone ever again, do we? We're god-killers, Skulduggery."

Skulduggery returned my grin. "That we are, and better still tomorrow night we'll be married god-killers. Ah, your coffee's ready. Have a seat." I sat and enjoyed my coffee ever so often obliging Skulduggery with tastes on his maxilla.

* * *

 **Now THAT was fun! Don't hurry away just yet there is still the wedding to come.**


	52. Chapter 52

A/N: I don't own, Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Caelan, Fletcher, China, Ghastly, Tanith, Billy-Ray, Finbar, Lord Vile, Anton or Tipstaff. Ye Ye is my OC though. Val is still 24, story is still in her POV. Thanks to everyone who has stayed around this long. The trip wouldn't have been as fun without you.

* * *

The next morning Skulduggery had me up bright and early, a cheerful smile on his skeletal features. "Well, good morning, Valkyrie! Ready for our last day as an unmarried couple?" He chirruped. "Come downstairs and I'll make you coffee. Well, us coffee." He seemed to blink and hovered over me, looking serenely happy.

I sat up as memories of the night before came flooding back. "Skulduggery, last night, did you, you _are_ Lord Vile?"

He nodded happily. "Oh yes, last night did indeed happen, my most loyal combat accessory. But the important thing to remember is that I'm all right now, and that shouldn't happen again. I think. Well, your shower isn't going to take itself, so off you go, then coffee." He left humming to himself and I just shrugged and got out of bed.

I'd always known he was a little crazy, well, a LOT crazy, but never in a harmful way, at least not towards me. Skulduggery never failed to be sweet and kind if I excluded the rare bad temper, and if he was triggered every so often into turning back into Lord Vile, I could learn to live with it. He'd make a wonderful husband, of that much I was sure as I showered.

Everything I was doing I was doing for the last time as a single woman, and a mixture of wanting to savour each moment, and rush through it on to the next danced in my belly. I wanted to be going to be married right that instant, but I knew I could wait. Thankfully it would be a small wedding, only the four of us. There would also be no boring reception, and after that I had no idea what Skulduggery had planned, or even if he had a plan. He had a wonderful way of just taking off on a random adventure at times. A youthful quality I found highly appealing, and one he was well aware of my attraction towards.

Skulduggery was often serious with others, unless I was with him and he figured too long had gone on between then and the last time he'd entertained me. Then he would do whatever he could to make me laugh, saying things so crazy I just had to, at least I _thought_ he did it to make me laugh. I shrugged and smiled as I got dressed. I knew he loved me and that was enough for me.

Fear of China or any other rival had melted away like a spring snow after how attentive he'd been last night. he'd assured me he had all sorts of wonders to show me, and I believed him. Skulduggery wasn't given to lying, and least not to me about important things. OK, he lied all the time, but his megawatt smile as I entered the kitchen that morning made them all worth it. He held out his arms, his grin broadening and I went to him happily. Skulduggery kissed me, a wild mixture of emotions tumbling through me at the feeling of his teeth against my lips. I wrapped my arms around him, taking in the scent of him. Wool and bone, now mixed with the heady scent of cologne.

Skulduggery wrapped his arms around me, deepening the kiss, then at the tilt of his head the radio came on. That was new. 'Here Comes My Baby' by the Tremeloes came on. I had to laugh even as I kissed him, and Skulduggery made an amused sound as he pulled back at last.

"Skulduggery Pleasant, I thought you hated popular music."

"No not all of it, not really. Some of it is good, at least if it reminds me of you, at any rate. That song came on the radio once, during a stakeout years ago. I'd sent you out of the Bentley for something I wanted, and it started to play as you returned."

"Then it hit me, how very much I wanted you to be mine, though I think it was daylight, but the song still fit. You were certainly beautiful that day, that much I do remember. Well, drink your coffee and if you could spare some for a poor thirsty skeleton it would be much appreciated."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that, to be honest. Are you really thirsty?"

"Well, I want coffee, and it is strange, but I can feel it absorb, and it seems to go down through my bones and just be gone. I like the feeling, and before you ask, it just wouldn't be any fun if you didn't give it to me, though I may have graduated to a spoonful at a time."

So we sat there at the table, Skulduggery making happy sounds and chirrups as he managed several spoonfuls then was satisfied. I sincerely hoped I wasn't hurting him, but he seemed OK. He wasn't going soft in the bones or anything, and he certainly seemed to not be harmed. It was our last morning as a unmarried couple, so I didn't mind indulging him.

I usually didn't, since he would have this happy look on his skeletal features, one of pure joy every time I shared something with him. Skulduggery had a playful personality that almost shone off of him, and the reason we got along so well is that I didn't mind playing along. I could be dour and silent a lot of the time, but not with him. Skulduggery liked to make me laugh, as if he was singlehandedly beating back the darkness that could take me over, and of course he was.

He started humming after coffee, then tilted his head and looked at me. "How would you like breakfast out, Detective Cain? I'm thinking we go to Ye Ye's on such an auspicious occasion, but it is up to you."

I grinned, delighted. "That sounds wonderful, Detective Pleasant. Then the rest of the day is yours to plan as you see fit." He grinned hugely, and I could tell he was blushing in his own way. He was cute when he blushed.

* * *

Ye Ye was delighted to see us, giggling slightly when Skulduggery explained it was our wedding day. So he made a breakfast the likes of which I don't think was seen outside an Emperor's table in centuries, joining us to eat.

For the briefest, and I mean briefest of moments, he showed us his true eyes, and the ghostly outline of horns could be seen. His nails lengthened and his clothes changed. But he was simply showing us we had his blessing in his own way. Skulduggery didn't seem surprised in the least, and after the reveal was quite happy to take off his disguise and sample the Chinese repast before us. Ye Ye watched me feed him morsels and give him spoonfuls of tea, delighted.

"It is good to see such a sweet wife who will tend to her husband's needs." He managed in English. I turned to him blinking and realized he was using some sort of magic to speak to me directly. He apparently understood and could speak English just fine, but the magical translation carried the meaning of words and phrases only he knew the meaning of.

We all savoured the seemingly endless dishes of soup, dumplings, and other delicacies. Noodles so fine I wondered if he spun they out of thin air, and special desserts since he would not be at the wedding. He gave us his blessing, and allowed us to see, if only in our minds his magnificent true form. Now I knew why Chinese dragons had been venerated as gods. He was magnificent to behold, so huge as to only be called godly, with a beautiful serpentine body and scales of the purest jade green that refracted back the light.

His beard and whiskers were gold, and the pearl underneath his chin had a luster and life all its own. His horns looks as soft as velvet but I knew they were as hard as iron, and his eyes blazed, though his massive maw was open in delight and goodwill. Ye Ye breathed a golden perfumed mist on us, then the vision was gone and he was shepherding us to the door. We stepped outside and looked back to wave goodbye, but he and the entire contents of the restaurant were gone. Skulduggery looked at me and smiled. "I've said there weren't many real gods, I never said they're weren't any."

* * *

Skulduggery was content as we got back into the Bentley, suggesting a leisurely drive and I readily agreed. He turned on the radio and relaxed as he drove, looking over at me every so often. We even had the windows open to drink in the cool morning air, and the day seemed perfect. "You know, I honestly didn't think we'd ever be getting married, Valkyrie. I couldn't have imagined that you'd have said 'yes' in a million years. Don't think for a moment that I don't realize how lucky I am. Why do you think I got rid of the facade anyhow? I couldn't stand the idea of having anything on me that woman gave me, not when I wanted to be with you. Sorry I was in such a bad mood that day and so hard on you."

"It's fine, Skulduggery. Really. You had a lot to go through, having seen me first with Fletcher, then with Caelan. For what it is worth, I honestly didn't love Fletcher. The minute I told him I did I regretted it, because I knew how he took it. I should have sent him away sooner, but I kept thinking maybe something would happen, that I'd suddenly become a nice person and able to love him. Then Caelan came along, and he frightened me, but I figured I could handle him. I didn't want either one as a boyfriend but they just wouldn't listen and I didn't know what to do."

"It's OK, Valkyrie, I understand, no explanation needed." Skulduggery said gently and I knew he trusted me, but he had to hear the rest of it.

"Skulduggery, I swear to you I wasn't in love with either one of them. When I realized how dangerous Caelan was I kept expecting you to show up and rescue me like you always do, but you didn't. You didn't and I had to call on the one man who hated me for help. He saved me but he made sure to twist the knife that much deeper."

I could feel him wince beneath his disguise. "Because I was off sulking, having learned the truth about China. I could have lost you, all because of that woman. God, Valkyrie, I'm so sorry. I promise you anything I ever felt for that woman died a long time ago, and she's not a threat to you. I'm loyal, Valkyrie. I wouldn't be marrying you if you weren't the woman I wanted."

"She takes up too much of our time. Let's talk about someone we like better. Tipstaff, for instance." I said, grinning at Skulduggery.

He laughed. "Well it is good having him back, and there's one man who's never going to steal another man's wife. Plus there's the fact that he can't stand you. You have a way of making friends wherever you go, Valkyrie. I've taught you well."

My mobile rang and I got it out. Ghastly. I smiled then answered. "Hey, dad. What's up?"

"Nothing much. Are you ready for tonight?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. Is Tanith annoying you and making demands for strange food yet?"

He laughed. "Not yet, but give her time. We'll be gone most of the day, so I wanted you to know the shop will be empty until four or five at least. We will be here for six of course."

"Great, we'll be out most of the day ourselves, we'll be there for six then. See you then." We rang off and I looked at Skulduggery.

"I like this family. No stupid parties or reception, no spending our wedding day apart. A quick ceremony and they we're free to go."

"That's romantic, that is." He teased.

"Romance is overrated, Skulduggery. It only works out in movies and fan fiction." He snorted and turned up the radio, and we cruised for hours, just enjoying our freedom and being together. 'Cruisin'' came on the radio, Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis sounding sweet together, and I just grinned and leaned back, enjoying the day. Of course there''s a wise old saying that when things are going perfectly we should worry, and if there isn't, there should be.

* * *

We were turning around, staring towards Ghastly's that evening when a chill came over me, and it wasn't from the open window. It felt like someone had walked over my grave, and that made me think of the ground, and all the disgusting things that could come out of it. One thing from Texas in particular. I looked at Skulduggery. "Billy-Ray is safely tucked away in a cell, isn't he?"

"Of course, he was cuffed and put in a cell. Oh, cuffs can't hold him, can they? Oh dear. But the jail would have informed us if he escaped." He nodded but we were both worried. I called the Sanctuary, unable to remember in my panic where Billy-Ray had even ended up. I got put in touch with a guard who grumbled then agreed to go check his cell, taking his mobile with him.

I heard a rumbling sound and the man shouted, then the mobile being picked up, and something metallic being tapped against it. A voice came on that stopped my blood cold. "Hello, little darlin'. You and I have some unfinished business left, but I'm gonna go crash a weddin' right now, well, before a weddin' I guess. That sound you heard? That's my beloved blade, and I'm gonna get a lot of use out of it, when I cut me up two brides. You all keep in touch now, you hear?" He laughed, then the line went dead.

* * *

Skulduggery had cursed. It was still daylight so we couldn't fly. I dialed Ghastly, letting him know to avoid the shop.

"How did he even know what was happening?" Ghastly growled in exasperation.

"He isn't stupid, dad. He could have been part way into the same room and we'd have never seem him. It would be just like Billy-Ray to sneak around and spy on people. That or he has a friend who talks too much."

Ghastly cursed. "Well, we're still going on with the wedding, Billy-Ray or no Billy-Ray. Where do you two think is safest? I'll abduct the priest if I have to and stop long enough for the clothes."

Skulduggery grabbed my mobile. "No, he'll be waiting for you, Ghastly! Don't worry about the clothes. Yes, I know, I know. Fine, fine. You two go someplace safe, don't even tell us where it is. I'll stop by the shop with Valkyrie. He wants revenge, but he wants Tanith more. He won't risk getting hurt and loosing her again. He's demented, but loyal." He rang off and we soon arrived at the shop, my heart pounding. I'd made the mistake of thinking Billy-Ray was a joke once, and I'd had his hands around my throat before I knew it. I still bore the scar from his razor and although he was ordered to give it to me, I wanted to even the score. Skulduggery found the clothes, and put them in the boot of the Bentley, then we were off.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"I'm thinking Billy-Ray is a lot smarter than we give him credit for. Could he hack your tracers, use them to find us?"

"He doesn't need to. The stupid Sanctuary added a feature to issued mobiles to let callers know where the person they want is. It wouldn't work if a civilian used the phone, but him? He only has look up whomever he wants to find. Great, he'll know where everyone is. But why do that? He can't travel miles underground. He's going to need a way to get around somehow."

"Like a Sanctuary van?" Skulduggery asked, and I looked up in time to see one looming up in the rear view mirror, Billy-Ray at the wheel. He looked demented, but still managed a cheerful wave seconds before he rammed us.

My mobile rang. "Hello, Detective Cain! Well looky here, these Sanctuary mobiles go right to a useful directory and you all are in it. I can call anybody I like, but I really wanted to call _you_. Do you know how very much I hate you? How long I'm gonna make you suffer? But don't you worry about the menfolk none, I'm fixin' to let them live a spell. Ain't _nothin'_ worse than loosing the woman you love." He gave a groan of anguish, then continued. "Do you have any idea how much I love her? Do you? What gave you the RIGHT to take her from me? How dare you take my little darlin' away from me? She's all I had in this here world and you all just had to go and rip her away from me."

He was crying, and for a moment my heart softened. Then he continued. "That's why you're gonna suffer, girl, you're gonna suffer real good." The line went dead and I watched him dump the mobile on the empty seat beside him. He glanced over at the empty seat, sobs starting to wrack him, not paying any attention, and suddenly Skulduggery slammed on the brakes, hard, gesturing, cocooning the car in a ball of air as the Bentley ground to a halt.

The van ploughed into the back on the Bentley, hitting the shield of air, but it held, and Billy-Ray was thrown through the windscreen of the van, the glass lacerating his face, his body, leaving him a bloody, semiconscious mess. We were safe, though when we got out I was still wary. The Bentley was fine, but Billy-Ray was not. He was bleeding profusely. Even someone as bad as him, as unrepentantly evil didn't deserve to die like this. He wheezed as we approached, blood starting to bubble up into his mouth at every breath.

His sunglasses had been knocked off, and his hollow eyes sockets looked at me mournfully as I walked closer, not daring to go within arm's reach. He laughed, a horrible sound, the looked at me. "I only wanted her back, I only wanted her to love me. Kiss the bride for me, will you?" He laughed again, a sad, lost sound, then fell silent and lay still. I could see the life leave him, and Skulduggery and I stood in mournful silence, waiting for a Sanctuary van to show up and take the body away. They came, and for reasons I understood the instant he did it, Skulduggery gently lifted Billy-Ray's broken body onto the stretcher.

I collected his straight razor and sunglasses, tucked his beloved blade into his pocket, and put the sunglasses on him. Everyone was mournful, respectful. In death all the cruelty had left Billy-Ray's face and he looked as he should have in life. I watched as they pulled the sheet over him, then loaded his body into the van. We stayed for some time after the van left, and I looked towards Skulduggery. "I don't understand it. He was a terrible man. He would have killed Tanith, and me. But I still feel terrible that he's dead. I'm starting to cry, for him of all people. What's wrong with me, Skulduggery?"

I started to cry harder and he held me. "You're human, Valkyrie, and there's nothing wrong with that. Nobody deserves to die. Did he belong in a cell or a place where he couldn't hurt somebody? Certainly. But that? No, not even Billy-Ray deserved that. You're crying because as terrible as he was, you still cared for him as any human would care for another in danger. You're crying because he wasn't loved and he won't be missed, and that is the worst fate that can befall any of us." It took a while, but we managed to get into the Bentley at last, and drove off in silence.

* * *

When we reached Tanith and Ghastly at the shop at long last it was well past six. I hugged her tight, leading her away from the men. "Are you OK?" I asked gently.

She started to cry softly. "I'm brave, I fight men like him, but I was frightened he was going to take me back. I hated what that Remnant made me do. Oh God, do you think he had it, was it loose?"

"No, it's OK. We checked with Anton at the Midnight Hotel. It's still tucked safely away with the rest of them. There's no shame in being scared, sis. I was terrified of him when he was chasing us." I neglected to tell her I'd cried over him. It wouldn't have helped things.

Tanith nodded. "I wasn't even frightened for me. But if he had hurt Ghastly or the babies-"

"I know. I know. But we have a wedding to attend, and the only person who would've crashed it is dead and gone, so let's get dressed, hmm?" She nodded happily and we went off to the side room of the shop, helping each other get ready. Tanith had a silky white dress, sleeveless, that managed to hug her every curve. It was pleated, and the effect was beautiful, making her look seductive yet every inch a bride, and the skirt, slightly gathered on one side to heighten the beauty of the dress, flared out at the bottom to trail after her. She looked lovely and radiant.

It took a while longer to get me into the confection of lace and silk Ghastly had dreamed up for me, mainly because I was shaking so badly. It had a sweeping full skirt with layers of ruffles that somehow managed to look good on me, and delicate lace and beadwork on the chest and arms. The neck was high, decorated with more beadwork and the overall effect was stunning.

We helped each other into veils and white ankle high boots, both too nervous for any makeup or overly fussing with our hair. We knew to wait for the priest to come for us. I looked at Tanith from behind my veil. "Remind me again, why we're doing this and not just living in sin? I think I'm going to have a heart attack."

She laughed shakily. "Me too, sis. I think we're doing it because we have good men. You look beautiful by the way."

"So do you. Now it makes sense why the brides always cried and shook as they walked down the aisle, doesn't it?"

She nodded and there was a soft knock. Tanith answered and the priest stood before us smiling. "Two lovelier brides I've never seen, well your grooms await. If you will do an old man the honors, ladies, I will escort you to them."

He took on of us on each arm, and escorted us to the main area of the shop. Skulduggery turned, and I felt my breath catch. This was real, this was happening. He looked otherworldly in his tuxedo. Black and of a material I couldn't place, the sharp angles accentuated his masculinity. A white shirt glowed beneath the jacket, accented with a black bow tie, and a new black fedora completed the effect. He wore no disguise, nothing covered up his skeletal features and I was glad for it. The look he gave me was so infinitely tender it gave me the courage to step closer to him as the priest led us forward.

We turned slightly to see Ghastly holding Tanith's hand in his. He looked handsome in his tuxedo, and the look of absolute adoration in his face as he gazed at Tanith was worth having waited for this night. Tanith was looking at him too, and I could feel the love between them. Skulduggery gave a sigh of appreciation at the sight and I turned back to him. Then I was looking deep into his eye sockets from beneath my veil, his skeletal hand holding mine, the bare bones gently curled. We were saying words but I didn't know how, then he was slipping a ring on my finger, and lifting my veil.

He looked at me for the longest moment, then leaned forward, embracing me, drawing me to him, his teeth pressed to my lips, and he kissed me for the first time as my husband. The kiss was infinitely tender, and all too soon were were parting, then a confused and murmured conversation with the priest, and we were out the door, my mind still whirling.

Skulduggery helped me into the Bentley and I dimly remember to get his side and he smiled his thanks as he got in. I was still in a daze as I looked at him, my actual husband. My true husband, one a priest had married me to. Skulduggery dug his disguise out of the glove compartment, and put it on.

I blinked. "Skulduggery, the priest?"

"Finbar Wrong had a little conversation with him on the phone. He didn't see me, obviously. He didn't see Ghastly either, not really. He saw what he wanted to see, and I think it worked out quite well all around."

I nodded. "Does the bride get to know where she is going?"

"She does indeed. We're going on a trip, a long one. The Sanctuary can get by without us for a while. It will mean countless hours on the road, but I think you'll like where we end up. I'll stop for something to drink at some point, and food as well of course. I already plotted our course, and we'll be able to stop in about an hour and change out of these clothes and get you some coffee at least. Sound good?"

"Of course. Though I don't know if I ever want you out of that tuxedo. No, scratch that. You look exceedingly handsome in everything you wear."

"And you Valkyrie Cain are the most beautiful of women, no matter what you wear. Though if you ever start wearing a ratty robe and curlers I shall have to revolt."

"I like my hair the way it is, Skulduggery. Besides, I have plenty of silk robes to wear, when I feel like wearing anything." I purred.

The Bentley veered ever so slightly then stabilized. "Do not tease while I am driving, woman. Or you'll be sleeping alone on your wedding night."

"That would make two of us then, so go ahead and punish me."

"Terrible female."

"Uncivilized man."

Skulduggery flashed me a massive grin and cocked his hat down at a rakish angle. "That I am, my dear, and tonight you'll learn exactly how uncivilized I can be." I laughed in delight and we drove on into the endless night, content to be with one another at long last.

* * *

 **Well, there you have it. Fifty two chapters of what has been pure enjoyment for me. Of course there still are babies to come, and where are they going do you think, and what will happen next? If enough readers ask, the story can continue until it reaches a natural end. Or I'll leave it here, up to you.**


	53. Chapter 53

A/N: I don't own Billy-Ray, Skulduggery, Tanith, Tipstaff, or Valkyrie. Calamity Cat is my OC, though. Val is still 24, but the chapter is from Billy-Ray's POV. Yeah, I break tradition and he snags a chapter all for himself. Thanks to EllaHayleyRose for inspiring the chapter with the saddest emoticons I've ever seen. Again, I have not read 'Maleficent Seven' so if Billy-Ray is ooc or his past is wrong, that's my fault entirely.

* * *

I felt myself sliced to ribbons as I flew through the windshield then I watched as those two annoyin' detectives approached. No, I watched _her_ , always was a thorn in my side. She looked scared of me, but all I could think of was how I was never going to see my little darlin' ever again. I didn't have much time, so I asked her to kiss the bride for me, seein' as how I wasn't going to get a chance to. Then that was it. I was out of my body, standin' there and those dumb fools didn't even notice. How could they not know the hitman deluxe was gracin' them with his presence?

The it happened. They got to yakin' and I was gonna try and cut that girl, I even had my blade out, then she starts to cryin' over me. Somethin' shifted inside, came loose. I didn't want to hurt her then. I just watched her cryin' and didn't know what to do. No woman ever cried over me before, that was for certain. Old Billy-Ray is not the leavin' type. They all left me, takin' pieces of me with them. First my mom, and then straight on down the line. Each time I had thought I found my little darlin', the one that would love me, and each one left.

I had the ridiculous notion to kiss her then, so I did, though I doubted she felt it much. Just a soft brush to the cheek was all, though she did get quiet like and start a little like she felt me there. I felt bad then for tryin' to kill her just then. Bein' dead gave me a brand new perspective on things. I looked back over at my body, not really all that interested in it anymore. I wondered why it had to be after I died that a woman showed she cared, but live and learn. Or die and learn in my case. I felt tears sting my hollow sockets then, and they weren't over Tanith.

She'd never been with me, I could see that now. The only woman who'd ever shown any decency towards me was standin' in front of me. The ambulance or whatever it was arrived, and Bones picked me up and set me on the stretcher nice like. He looked sad, but maybe because his girl was sad. She got my sunglasses and blade, and returned them to me, and I felt my heart lurch sideways. Why couldn't she have been that nice all of the time with me? Sweet like? Shoot, I'd tried bein' nice with her, makin' conversation. Even thought I might be sweet on her at one point, even if she was kinda young for me.

Now that she was cryin' for me and bein' sweet like, I had a crazy notion to get back to her. What for I don't rightly know. I'm not the kind of man to take another man's woman iffen they're married and all, but she was beautiful and she was cryin' over me, and it tore me up inside and made me want to protect her. I followed my body to the ambulance, watchin' 'em try and bring me back. I got in, interested. I reckoned that they sure were goin' to a lot of fuss for somebody they'd most likely execute if he did come back anyhow, and the thought made me laugh.

I didn't want to get back in that body. I knew it would hurt somethin' awful if I did, though I noted they'd healed all my cuts up right quick, they the got crazy and just started in and healed everythin'. I ain't never seen magic like that before, and I was impressed. Still I resisted, havin' learnt my lesson about women once and for all. But she was pretty though. Too bad she was gettin' married. Naw, I'd let her be. Or would I? Was it a bad thing to take a married woman if she belonged with you, if she felt somethin' for you? Maybe we'd just been gettin' our signals crossed, was all.

I had a choice then, I could either jump back in my body and let them arrest me, or I could jump back in my body and kill them all, which seemed right ungrateful considerin' they just helped me. I reckoned I could wait until they left my body alone. Sneak in it quiet like so's they wouldn't notice, but what if they locked me in a cooler for corpses or somethin'? Then I remembered, I wasn't an Adept for nothin' I'd get out of there fast enough. So I watched 'em cover up my body and waited.

* * *

They wheeled my body into the Sanctuary, in a hospital part I 'd never seen before, and left me unattended in a hallway. I saw my chance and slipped back in my body. It was a shock, it sure was, but as soon as I felt my heart beatin' again, I thought of her and it started beatin' faster. I got off the stretcher and sank into the ground, I had a lot of things to think about, but first I needed a safe place to be. I had to tunnel some, but I came up near an abandoned house some piece away from the Sanctuary, and went in.

It was dry, and it didn't look like no squatters used it, so I settled in. I was hungry, but I supposed it could wait. I took out my straight razor, touchin' it delicate like. She had touched it and I reckoned I could feel her touch that way, only I knew I was not really doin' so. Women always thought I was stupid, but I'm not. I'm just real laid back and I don't have a whole lot of book learnin' to impress them with. I'd rather work with my hands, own a ranch some day, maybe. That was what my book learin' was about mostly.

I wasn't stupid, I'd been to Texas A&M way back, only a couple of decades after it was founded. I did a fair bit of book learnin' too, just not the kind to impress a girl of modern times with. I felt young though and I figured that was the important thing. I was young! I wasn't even two hundred yet, so I had a nice long life ahead of me. I wondered if Detective Cain was the one to share that life with. She sure was pretty, and she did cry for me. But I was tired, so I took off my suit jacket and rolled it into a ball and put it under my head.

I'd sleep, then I'd have plenty of time to think about her. I was driftin' to sleep, tryin' not to think about her, but it was mighty hard. She had _cried_ for me, and not even my momma did that. She had cried for me. I wanted my arms around her then, but had to settle for curlin' up around my balled up jacket. "Soon, little darlin', soon I'll know what to do about us." I whispered to the empty room, wishin' she could hear and then of course, sleep took me.

* * *

I woke up, wantin' to be near her, but tellin' myself to calm down. It was good and dark, so I knew she had to be married by now. Too many people talk in a Sanctuary and guards like to taunt prisoners. That's how I'd known about the weddin'. It was supposed to be some big secret, but of course their Grand Mage knew, and he told some Tipstaff fellah, and so on and so forth until I had heard about it. It had driven me insane then, it truly had, and all over Tanith.

I knew what we had was a lie, but I hadn't cared. I had loved her so much I didn't care if she loved me or not. I knew the Remnant was usin' me too, but I wanted her, so I took advantage of the situation. I figured if I just showed her how I felt often enough, then she'd shake that thing loose. Then they had came and took her, landin' me in the hospital. I had waited and waited on her to come back to me, figurin' she had to lay low for a while.

I'd heard there was no way to get the Remnant out, but they had found one. For one desperate moment I had wanted that thing as my lover in a new body, just so I could have someone to hold at night. But I still figured she'd come back, visit me in the rehab her friends' beatdown had landed me in after the hospital, but no. She didn't feel a thing for me, and it tore me up inside. I'd still gone after her, of course, wishin' and hopin' and dreamin' that she would be mine.

That had all come to naught of course, and I had to figure out if I wanted to do anything about my new little darlin'. I realized then she wasn't my new little anythin'. Sure she was beautiful, and she sure enough had cried over me, but she'd of shot me in the head if she'd had a gun and I had attacked, and the thought made me smile. I liked my women with some fight to 'em. I never did go in for the prissy, delicate balls of fluff some men went wild over. I'd always wanted me a tomboy to fight at my side, a real live hellcat that would shoot you as soon as look at you. I felt myself go all dreamy like over the idea and smiled.

Oh, I'd know my perfect woman when I found her, it was just a matter of findin' her and not gettin' distracted like I did. She'd love me too, and right from the start, because that's how my perfect gal was gonna be. I'd daydreamt of such a fine and classy lady often, and the thought that all the pieces of me that left brought me one step closer to her made me smile.

I got up and stretched. I had a rental car, so I'd be able to drive to the airport if I so desired, and I did. I just had to get out of the area first. I knew they'd be a huntin' for me, but hopefully they'd think somebody stole my body. My Adept powers never did leave a trace. I hoped they didn't bother Detective Cain none on my account, and was almost gonna call that Grand Mage of theirs since they'd thoughtfully given me the Sanctuary cell phone back, but I didn't.

He'd be gettin' all excited, and callin' her and Bones in, and I didn't want to ruin their weddin' vacation none. What was it called again? A honeymoon, that sounded about right. Well any girl that wonderful deserved her a right special honeymoon, no Billy-Ray included.

* * *

I'd tunneled under the ground a ways, and in fits and starts made my way to the airport. I got a ticket easily enough, and would be bound for US soil in several hours. I got something to eat, and dreamt of bein' back in Texas. I'd said I wanted a ranch some day, and the truth was, I had the start of one. Lots of good pasture land, a big old ramblin' ranch house in the center, and I'd been lookin' into cattle and interviewin' hands and the like.

But I'd have to retire a while to get it properly goin' and there was my current problem. I wasn't a wealthy man, so I needed the money from my hits. I wouldn't have stopped even if I was, since I needed to kill me some people every so often since it was fun, and I liked havin' fun. At the time I'd attended the halls of higher learnin' they had taught us military tactics, and at the time, you got given a straight razor to shave with for in the field and such. I'd fallen in love with that thing from the moment I clapped eyes on it.

It was elegant, even if it was military issue, and I adored it a lot more than any of the guns or other weaponry I'd studied with, and that's sayin' somethin' coming' from a Texan. I loved me some guns and shootin', but it wasn't as fun, as up close and personal as a blade. I'd been a different man back then, aware of my Adept powers, and tryin' to keep to the magical community, but they were spread out good in Texas, so I'd had lots of other friends too. I'd thought I was a good man then, a decent one.

Sure I had killed folks, who hadn't? But they were bad guys that had it comin', for not takin' 'no' for an answer and the like. But then I got the idea at some point that I'd like to be a detective like I saw in the movies. It looked excitin'. My first client though, he weren't no prize. He was like that scummy, scary fellah from that movie that was popular at the time, 'The Maltese Falcon'. I found out what he liked to do to women, what he was gonna do to the woman he had me searchin' for, and my blood began to boil and I killed him.

I suppose that negated the case he had me on, but it gave me a second one of findin' his killer, and I could do that just fine. The man had had money, a lot of money, waved it in my face. But it was filthy money, paid for by the sufferin' of women and I would have none of it. I heard the call to get on the plane and soon enough I was headin' to my seat, and I saw _her_. My seatmate, and she sure was a sight for sore eyes. She was dressed all in black with cowboy boots and a fine lookin' Stetson hat all done up out of black leather made to look like velvet.

I grinned at her, and sat myself down. She fixed me with a good glare, and I thought she had the prettiest eyes I'd ever seen. They were hazel, but more tendin' towards green, and the flashed when she looked at me. Curly, fiery red hair spilled from underneath her hat to cascade back past her shoulder blades, and that beautiful lady couldn't have been more than thirty or forty at the most. Magical forty mind you, so she looked more to be in her twenties.

"Well, hello there, little, darlin'. My name's Billy-Ray, and what might yours be? Seein' as how were seatmates I figure it is only polite to introduce ourselves." A look of admiration came over her beautiful features, and I had to admit, that was a new one on me.

"Billy-Ray Sanguine? THE Billy-Ray Sanguine?" She breathed, and she wasn't bein' sarcastic like either.

"Yes indeed, little darlin', the one and only, but you seem to have the advantage here. I sure would like to know your name if your in the mood to be tellin' me."

She blushed up real nice, then held out her hand. "Calamity Cat, Sir. It's a real pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sanguine. A real pleasure." I took her hand, but instead of shakin' it I kissed it, and I never do that with the ladies, but she blushed up real pretty again and laughed, those pretty eyes sparklin'.

"You don't need to be so formal, little darlin'. I'm sure I'm not that much older than you, you can call me Billy-Ray. I'd like that just fine. You've got yourself the cutest little accent if you don't mind me sayin' so. You from the country?"

"Yes Sir, I mean, Billy-Ray. Born and bred in Pennsylvania. I know my accent's kind of thick. I've been workin', working on that." The effort she made to add the g sound tore up my heart. There was nothin' wrong with the way she talked.

"I think your accent is right pretty. Don't you go changin' it on nobody's account, it's country people that keep the world fed, and don't you ever forget that, little darlin'. You be proud of where you came from, hear?" I was surprised I was bein' so protective like of her, but I came from the country myself, so I knew it was like. Even people from a bigger town would laugh at you. Calamity sounded like she came from out in the sticks like myself, and a Southern gentleman's got to defend the ladies of his ilk, even if they are Yankees.

* * *

We talked all that flight, and I felt myself being charmed by Miss Calamity Cat. Calamity because that's what she caused, and Cat as in short for hellcat, and she sure was a little spitfire too. She preferred guns to knives, but we both loved horses, country music, and bein' out of doors. She was also the only other tunnelin' Adept I'd ever met. It was sudden like, but I looked at her as we disembarked in New York. "You got yourself another plane, little darlin'?"

"No, I figure I can get one later or rent a car and just travel. I think I already told you I'm not welcome back in Pennsylvania anytime soon. Well, it was nice meetin' you, Billy-Ray, a real pleasure."

She held out her hand and I kissed it again. This was gettin' silly. Then I surprised myself. "I ain't tryin' to rope you into nothin', I'm a proper gentleman, but I'd like to get to know you better. Let me give you a lift as far as Texas. Separate rooms and such the whole way, my treat." She looked at me, and first I thought she was fixin' to slap me, because her hand came up sudden like. Then she tackled me in a massive hug, and I hugged her back to be polite, tryin' not to think of how nice and warm she was.

We stopped at the car rental place after clearin' customs and gettin' our bags, then I took her to a McDonald's. I know, I know, not exactly romantic, but I didn't want to scare her none, and although she sure was beautiful I wasn't about to make a fool of myself again. Of course the looks of open adoration she kept givin' me, and her thanks over a Big Mac, fries, and Coke touched me and softened my heart. I'd taken women to some of the finest restaurants in the world and not gotten so much as a thanks.

I looked at her as I sat down across from her. "So, little darlin', if you don't mind me askin', don't you ever get scared travelin' all alone?"

"I normally have guns, have one on me now, grabbed it out of my luggage." She paused to giggle. "Then there's being an Adept, so I do all right. If I have to shoot a man dead, it's more because I know I'm protectin' future women who might not have it in them to kill him. That, and I'm mean as a rattlesnake, daddy always said so."

"You all have rattlesnakes in Pennsylvania? Stop teasin'." I said, smilin'.

"No we do, timber rattlesnakes and Eastern Massasauga rattlesnakes, and Northern copperheads that are a bit meaner in disposition, though if you mind your own knittin' they'll mind theirs. I like them, I respect them. There ain't no harm in defendin' yourself, is there? And that's all they do, is defend themselves."

"No there ain't little darlin', no there ain't. Finished? Then let's get on the road, we've got a long trip ahead of us." I got the door for her, and the door of the rental truck, helpin' her up like, and she gave me that megawatt smile of hers that made the dimple she had on one side stand out. Her smile was a little crooked, but charmin'. I went over to my side and she was pushin' my door open for me. I looked at her when I got in. "Well thank you, little darlin', thank you kindly. Was there somethin' wrong with the door that you noticed?" I'd never had a woman get my door after all and couldn't imagine why one would start now.

"No, my mama taught me it was good manners. Sorry I didn't think to do it when we first got in, but I was nervous. I hate flyin' to be honest."

"Me too, little darlin'. Rather drive, well, I'd rather tunnel, but I can't do it forever, thought I'd love to be able to."

"You too? That would be nice, wouldn't it?" She asked sleepily. She talked a little more, but I'd turned the heater on since the mornin' was chilly and found a country station, so she was soon fast asleep.

* * *

Calamity was a good travelin' companion, so when she asked me to stop several days into our trip by the side of the road, I did. She looked at me, blushed slightly, and shrugged. "I have to be in soil every so often, or I go loopy. I blame my grandma, she was a farmer and taught me to love the soil." She got out, looking at a freshly tilled field, then took a runnin' leapt, vaulted a fence, and dove straight into the ground. She surfaced some distance later, than dove straight back in, treatin' that field like a swimmin' pool. She was laughin' and cavortin' and havin' herself a real fine time, and I just sat on the fence and watched in admiration.

Then she popped out of sight and didn't resurface. I was startin' to get worried when I was grabbed from below and pulled underground. Apparently like me she could see just fine in the dark, maybe it came with tunnelin' I didn't rightly know, but she grinned at me. "Come on, and play with me, Billy-Ray. I ain't never met another tunneler before, and I'd love to see you in action."

I grinned, charmed. Women never liked goin' underground with me, ever, it scared them to pieces, and here was one who drug me underground. "See if you can keep up." I grinned, then was off, her hard on my tail. We dove and rose, surfaced like bullets, only to crash down into the soil again, cavortin' like a couple of kids on Christmas vacation. She laughed, keepin' up just fine. At last we were sprawled out on the surface of the field, exhausted and laughin'.

"That sure was fun, little darlin." I managed. She rolled onto her side, lookin' at me with them beautiful eyes flashin' and a huge grin on her face. This sly look came on her face, then a devilish grin, and she pounced sudden like, takin' me by surprise, and bringin' that beautiful face within inches of mine, closer even, close enough to kiss.

"Rowr!" She said, then she was kissin' me and I just about sank back into the ground in surprise. Her hand came up and she was strokin' my head, and the other one pinned my free hand. She pulled back and smirked at me. "You, I like." She purred.

I flipped her then like I'd learned in my military trainin' and the kiss I gave her was everything I always wanted it to be with a woman. She was wild and sweet, fiery and passionate, and I felt my heart meltin'. But I knew my track record, so I kept on kissin' her, reckonin' it would end with a slap on her part, but it didn't. Calamity returned my affections and then some, and when we at last came up for air, she looked at me, her grin crooked, her eyes all misty and dreamy like. I looked down at her and spoke gentle like to her. "Well, now, little darlin'. That was most unexpected, but it sure was nice. But what brought it on, iffen I may ask?"

"I like you, Billy-Ray." She said, lookin' up at me, those eyes still all dreamy and soft. I went to get up, this was too good to be true, but she caught a hold of my shoulders. "I said I _like_ you, Billy-Ray." This time it was a growl and her eyes narrowed as her grip tightened painfully.

"I'm guessin' you do, but you'll have to be lettin' me go sometime."

She gave a snarl in reply, flipped me over, pinnin' me beneath her and came to kneel on my chest. Her hand drifted back to caress the handle of her gun and she glared at me. "Why? I ain't good enough for you?" She hissed. That melted my heart some more and I KNEW I'd found the woman for me at last.

"You're perfect for me little darlin'. I just can't take you to lunch if you hold me here forever, is all."

She grinned, then let me up. "Sorry about that. I always have the worst luck with men, but I guess you can tell that. I don't fool around or anythin' I ain't no tramp, and I guess they don't like that."

"I like it just fine, Calamity. Just fine. I don't recollect havin' met an actual lady before, but I'll behave like a real Southern gentleman ought to with you. and I don't mean the kind that use good manners to get with a lady, neither."

"Much appreciated, Billy-Ray. Now you said somethin' about takin' a girl to lunch?" She grinned at me and I offered her my arm and walked her out of the field and to the truck, I helped her in, and when she kissed me for my effort, my heart started singing' somethin' fierce.

* * *

My ranch was big enough that I offered Miss Cat a room, makin' sure she knew there were no strings attached. She stayed on a spell, and I realized we were indeed gettin' serious. I took her out ridin' on the range one day, reachin' over to slow her horse when we crested a hill. I looked over at her, my heart poundin'. She'd made it clear she wasn't leavin', ever. She was mine for as long as I'd have her, and I'd have her forever if I could. I dismounted, then helped her down. I knew she didn't need the help, but a chance to put my hands on her waist was not to be passed up.

We walked a little way from the horses, and I turned to her. She gave me that crooked smile, and I knew I had to ask. But I also knew she wasn't the kind of a gal who'd appreciate me goin' on one knee either, though I'd have liked to. How was I supposed to propose to a woman that meant everythin' to me, who loved me as much as I loved her? Then I knew. I took her into my arms, sinking us into the ground. She added her own abilities and we soon had a cozy little space to cuddle in. I wanted to kiss her in the worst way, but I reckoned it would have to wait.

Calamity was either gonna leave or stay, but I got the ring box out anyhow. I'm sure I managed to say somethin' but all I can remember is her eyes starin' at the ring, then she was lookin' at me, and taclkin' me, and I was slippin' the ring on her finger. I surfaced, and she clambered on top of me, but gentle like, and kissed me. The kiss was sweet and fierce, and soon enough I'd flipped her, and was makin' that kiss last forever. I pulled back and she looked up at me, all soft and dreamy like.

"I love you, Billy-Ray" She breathed, reachin' up and removin' my sunglasses of her own free will. He eyes only got softer at what she saw, her smile grew all soft, and I felt accepted by a woman for who I was at last.

"I love you too, little darlin'." I said softly in reply, and it was some time before we moved from where we were. I was content then, not wantin' to ever return to Ireland to get revenge. Shoot, if the woman whose tears had brought me back was ever in trouble, all she ever had to do was call me. Calamity knew about Detective Cain and liked her ever without meetin' her, pointin' out that she'd just about gift-wrapped me and handed me to Calamity. I liked that about her. She was ruthless, but sweet too, and I knew our marriage was going to be a good one.

We stayed on that hill for some time, whisperin' promises of forever, and meanin' them. I sincerely hoped that old Bones and his little darlin' we're gettin' on as well and promised myself that if they ever needed my help in the future, I'd give it to 'em, if for nothing else than to show off my sweet little hellcat.

* * *

 **omg, Billy-Ray, you're taking over every fanfic I write, lol! This was the fun chapter and I know I nailed the SW PA accent, on account of soundin' just like that myself. If another chapter is ever written we'll go back to Valkyrie's view, but I saw no harm in giving poor Billy-Ray a happy ever after with a good woman.**


	54. Chapter 54

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Lord Vile, Tanith, Finbar, Ghastly, Thrasher, Scapegrace or Valkyrie. Reba and Sean are my OCs though. Val is still 24, story is back to her POV.

* * *

I woke up, slightly groggy, I could remember stopping to change into our normal clothes, and having coffee with Skulduggery. Now as he gently shook my shoulder I looked around. It was still pitch black, and the dashboard clock read midnight. "Skulduggery, where are we?"

"Another stop, I thought you might like a chance to get out and walk on Irish soil." He grinned at me, and I stared at him until everything fell into place.

"We're in Ireland, as in, no longer in the Republic of Ireland?"

He nodded happily. "I thought you might like being able to tell our children one day how you honeymooned in a different country, yet remained on Irish soil."

I laughed. "But wait, the border crossing?"

"The sight of a sleeping newlywed bride is a wonderful thing. The guard barely looked at our driver's licenses and waved us through. More help from Finbar on the one as well."

"I always wondered how you traveled."

"Now you know. I used to have to resort to bandages or other devices and bemoan my fate of having met any number of misfortunes. Luckily it is rare that people want to see your face, or it used to be before terrorism. Ah, well, enough of that. Out with ye and we'll get something to eat."

"We?"

"I told you I plotted our course. We'll be stopping at havens for sorcerors. In case you're wondering, and you should be, civilians will not feel like stopping and even if they did they would only see normal people and hear normal conversations." Skulduggery came around for my door, then took me in his arms when I got out. He'd happily shed his disguise, and now nuzzled into me, giving my neck affectionate nips. I laughed, caressing his skull where I could and was rewarded with a growl of pleasure.

Skulduggery brought up his head and kissed me, no longer hesitating or withholding any of his affections, and he had to hold me up when my legs went out from under me. He drew back to look at me smugly. "Told you I can do all sorts of things I haven't shown you before. Well, let's go into eat then, I'm simply famished." Skulduggery escorted me in, an arm wrapped around me. He held the door for me, ever the gentleman, then sat beside me in the booth. I wondered if the man just had a knack for finding them, then realized he liked being able to sit that close, his arm wrapped around me, his ribs brushing me teasingly.

We'd been professional for so long, even when we were engaged that it was a wonderful change. Skulduggery ordered a simply lovely meal, during which not even one patron thought it was strange that I fed him or let him taste my coffee. He honestly didn't eat much, but the pleasure he got from what he had was touchingly sweet.

Skulduggery sat back after our plates were cleared, looking at me contentedly. "Well, Detective Cain, no second thoughts? You're happy to be with me?"

"I am, but with our luck I keep expecting a-" Skulduggery silenced me with a hand over my mouth.

"Oh no you don't, young lady. You said something like that in a restaurant already. Knowing our luck you'd only have to say it twice instead of three times."

"Um, Tanith said it."

Then don't you dare say it!"

"Skulduggery, don't be silly. Zombies don't just show up because you mention them."

The music in the restaurant abruptly stopped, and groans could be heard from the parking lot. The bartender shot me a glance, grinning. "We get 'em every night, hon. Hence the cute little sign outside. We didn't mention that when you all made a reservation because we can always use new recruits." There was something familiar about her and her accent, but I couldn't worry about it just then.

I got up letting my armour flow over me, then looked over at Skulduggery, grinning in pure joy. "I want a shotgun." He grumbled. I willed mine to me and handed it to him and he grinned back at me. The groans grew and we edged closer to the windows that had been shuttered except for holes to fit rifles through.

"These people weren't kidding when they said nightly zombie attacks on the sign outside, were they?" I asked Skulduggery gleefully.

"No, they weren't." He agreed happily, setting his sights on the first wave of zombies. Well, a lone female. Her skin was a marbled grey and white shot through with black, and her eyes were pure white orbs. She walked slowly, stiffly, arms outstretched.

I reached down for my Peacemakers, and the bartender and other patrons who had lined up at the shooting portals grunted approval. Suddenly the zombie was joined by ten, then twenty, and everyone was opening fire. I suppose a better person would have felt sorry for the zombies, or wondered where they came from every night, but I was content to pick them off, each shot from my Peacemakers splitting into multiple missiles, which sounds awesome, and truly, it was.

I watched the lead zombie's head jerk back in surprise, and could hear her groan even over the gunfire, then she sank down, truly dead. I shook my head as gun smoke reached my eye sockets, but kept on firing, taking out several of the seemingly endless horde at a time. A man in a plaid shirt shouted in excitement. "They're coming up through the floor!" I whirled, taking out the first zombie to stick his rotted head out of the busted floor. His brains splattered everywhere, and the assembled crowd cheered, then opened fire in abandoned glee and zombies breached the walls and came in through the back door.

Skulduggery turned, shooting me a sideways glance. "These people are loving this, how you holding up?"

"Are you kidding? Best honeymoon in ever, Skulduggery! You take me to all the best places." I sighted a zombie that was only a torso, that was chugging towards me quickly. He was so rotted most of his bone showed through, and he was all green for some disturbing reason, but that didn't keep my from pulling the trigger. His skull shattered in a spray of bone and gory bits, and the crowd cheered again, More cheers were erupting for each new kill. I turned back to the window, but no zombies remained outside, and the last of the invading zombies were being picked off by locals.

Then the guns fell silent and that silence was almost too painful to endure. I looked at the broken walls and floor, then blinked as the walls reformed, and one by one the zombies reformed as well. They got up and stretched, some high-fiving the people who had just shot them. The half zombie I had shot came up to me, his trailing spine wagging like a dog's tail. "That was fun, thanks!" He said.

I looked at Skulduggery and he shrugged. The bartender grinned at us. "This place is cursed, hon. We have to endure nightly zombie attacks, they have to endure comin' after us. But we made a game out of it with magic. Our guns never really fired even though they seemed to, they never really got hurt. Heck, our zombies are vegans. Ain't you, handsome?" She picked up the torso zombie, and his arms went around her, and he locked what was left of his lips with hers. Then it came to me, the accent, the way she walked.

"Reba?" I asked, when she'd at last put her lover on a barstool next to her.

She nodded. "I got me this here place a while back, I use the diner to recruit people who might like workin' here. Glad you two made it a stop on your honeymoon. This here's Sean. Sean, this here is the couple I told you about from the diner."

Sean nodded happily to us. "A pleasure to meet a young bride and such a fine choice for a husband as well. Now if you'll only get Reba to move up our own wedding date I'll die, well stay dead, a happy man."

Reba giggled, then swatted him playfully. I grinned at Skulduggery and we went back to our coffee at a booth that had apparently not been damaged, Nothing was, Reba explained as she joined us. "We make it easy for them to get in with portals. We wouldn't want our friends and family, gettin' hurt and after a while, they're all family. Aww, she likes you hon." I looked down and a lovely female zombie in a bright yellow dress had cuddled into my leg, her head resting on my knee. I petted her head and she sighed contentedly. Then I realized, with the armour I was one of them, well dead at any rate.

Skulduggery got swarmed as did I, and it was several hours before the zombies let us go to the Bentley. I had to pry off the female zombie gently. She had no name, and she seemed childlike, sweetly innocent, and I was glad I hadn't shot her, even if it was pretend.

* * *

Skulduggery looked at me once we were on the road. "THAT I didn't plan. It was fun though, wasn't it?" He grinned through his disguise.

"That it was. Where to now?"

"Mmm, several hours to the next rest stop, then our destination for the night, well, it will be morning. But it was worth it, getting to meet the world's only nice zombies. Too bad we couldn't find Thrasher and Scapegrace and send them there."

"I know. Of course at the time I thought of it I wanted a chance to shoot them. I'm a terrible person."

"No, they're both annoying gits. Anyone would want to shoot them. Wonder if they'll get married."

"I'm not babysitting if they do."

* * *

We arrived at a small stone house tucked into the woods at long last, and Skulduggery grinned at me. He insisted on coming around for me, then picked me up before I could protest. He manipulated the door, and it opened, and he carried me across the threshold. "There you are, Missus." He grinned, setting me down. "Stay put, or look around. I'll fetch the bags."

I looked around in wonder. The place was Hobbit-sized on the outside, and only one snug room inside, plus an attached bath. Wood covered the inside walls and stout oaken beams ran across the ceiling. The place was downright adorable, complete with a Lilliputian fireplace. The bed was barely big enough for two, but I supposed that was the idea. Skulduggery came in, and looked at me after setting down the bags and shutting the door. "See anything you like?" He purred, shedding his hat and suit jacket neatly.

I grinned, watching him take off his tie. He sat in a chair by the fireplace and waved me over. He stretched out a hand and the waiting logs burst into flame. "You know, Valkyrie, nothing has to happen, until you're ready."

"I appreciate that, Skulduggery. But I am ready, if you are." He blinked several times in response and I realized how tired we both were. Still, we managed to get into bed, and had the most glorious night of sleep you can imagine.

* * *

Skulduggery grinned at me sheepishly in the morning. "So much for me being the world's greatest lover. Well, I still am, of course, but you'll have to wait until tonight to find out, I'm afraid. We can get some breakfast about an hour from here, but I think you'll prefer what our hosts left overnight." I got up sleepily and eyed a huge basket sitting on the table. I got up, realizing I was still fully dressed and laughed. I had said I'd sleep that way for practical reasons, I'd just never planned for it to be on my wedding night.

The basket was brimming with all sorts of treats, and of course Skulduggery didn't even have to try and charm me into staying longer. He put on the radio, and we had assorted teas, cookies, smoked salmon and all other sorts of treats, Skulduggery explaining that the owners were Scottish and welcoming us with typical Scottish hospitality.

"Well it's sweet of them, Skulduggery. We'll have to send them a thank you note at the very least." He nodded, them happily accepted more smoked salmon, making one of his purring sounds, then a happy chirrup when I offered him tea.

"It was nice seeing Reba again last night, wasn't it?" I asked, and Skulduggery nodded happily. He seemed very mellow that morning and we lingered until he put our bags and the basket and leftovers in the boot of the Bentley with a contented sigh.

He escorted me to my door, then we were off for a similar snug home, where he paid our bill and chatted with the husband while the wife pulled me aside. "I hope you didn't mind that we welcomed you with Scottish plaid, my dear, but we really are neighbors and should act like it. My grandmother always told me a basket filled with things made sure the bride's pantry always stayed full. The blanket that lined it will make sure you stay warm, and the honey to sweeten the marriage. My husband and I got a basket much like that one over five hundred years ago, and look at us, we don't look a day over two hundred." She giggled slightly, a lovely blush climbing to her cheeks. But she was right, they did look young.

She gave me a warm hug and we said our goodbyes, I making sure to repeatedly thank her. Skulduggery was silent for a while after we got in the Bentley, finally murmuring at me. "Seat belt. Do you know what he told me about that basket, Valkyrie? The salmon assured I'd always be able to provide for you as a man. Apparently men used to gather round and provide food for the newly married couple, presenting some to the man specifically. I can't say I remember that happening but he's a great deal older that I am. Oh, sorry."

"Don't be. We live in an age where people won't even send an e-mail to the married couple anymore, so I love hearing about the traditions, yes, from your time included. How many times do I have to tell you I'm happy you had someone before you belive me, Skulduggery?"

I sensed him smiling faintly through his disguise. "Oh a thousand times more should do it. You're a rare woman Valkyrie Cain, and I'm proud I married you. I mean that. Rare is the woman not given to jealousy."

"Skulduggery, that's so sweet of you." I kissed his bony cheek through the disguise and was rewarded with another happy chirrup. We relaxed and listened to the radio, no more words needed, content just to be together. For all of five minutes.

Then of course, Skulduggery had to speak. We were on a back road, and his head almost swiveled off as we passed a crudely painted wooden sign, advertising a 'genuine living skeleton'. He harrumphed in annoyance, and stopped the Bentley at the indicated turn.

"Skulduggery, you can't be serious? This looks like the road I've seen in every slasher movie set in the country. There's either going to be inbreds or cannibals at the end, no 'living skeleton'."

"Indeed. I'm inclined to make them answer for it, and as I do recall you said we need never fear anything ever again, care to put that theory to the test, my dearest combat accessory?"

"Skulduggery! What if they're civilians?"

"All the more reason to teach them not to annoy _actual_ living skeletons. Reduced to a roadside attraction, the nerve of it!" He growled, gripping the Bentley's steering wheel so hard I thought he'd crack it. I sighed and nodded, but as he was already driving down the rutted, dusty lane it wasn't really necessary.

* * *

We'd driven a short way when we saw another sign. 'Warning! Skeleton is loose! Turn back now.' The w of now was scrawled and ran crazily to the end of the sign and Skulduggery growled, not pleased by the clearly fake blood on the sign. At least it looked fake. We pulled up to a house, and I saw a grinning skull disappear from view from an upper window. "Skulduggery! These people are obviously nutters. Let's turn back."

"We're not afraid of anything, remember? And I'd like to give them a piece of my mind, I would!"

"And expose magic?" I asked, but looked away. The skull was back, attached to a complete skeleton that waved a bloody carving knife at us. "Ew. Why is he naked? Gross. Also, why is he covered in blood?" Skulduggery was staring at me hard. He pulled down his disguise and glared at me. "Lord, Skulduggery, _you_ I want to see naked, not him. But it could be a trick, or a puppet, or some such thing. OK, fine, we'll go in." We got out at the same time, Skulduggery too keen on getting inside to think of anything else.

We went in, Skulduggery motioning me to call my armour up when we were inside with the door closed. We went up the stairs, searched each room, the attic, the swept downwards, my heart, well, my non-existent heart pounding. I expected an attacked at each turn. Finally we came to the basement. "Skulduggery? You know the part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid, and everybody hates them for it? This is it." He looked at me blankly and I sighed. "We are going in the basement, aren't we?"

He nodded, then stood to one side, motioning me to the other. He counted down silently from three on his fingers, gun drawn, then stepped forward, blasting the door with a wall of air, destroying it. I had my shotgun out, and flared flames into the basement, with my free hand, but we saw only the stairs leading down, and an empty doorway leading into darkness. Skulduggery was down the stairs with a snarl, and I switched to my dead senses, so I no longer needed the flame. We reached the bottom and surged forward, into an empty room.

We realized the ruse too late and turned as a recessed door slammed shut, locking us in. Skulduggery turned, and we both glared at the skeleton that waved in at us through the barred window. I pulled the shadows in the room and hurled them at him, and he screamed as they speared him through the eye socket, driving him back, pinning him to the post at the bottom of the stairs.

Then Lord Vile was beside me and the door exploded outwards with such force that it smashed into the skeleton, breaking multiple bones. He was out before me, dragging the broken skeleton up, the thing seemed to be trying to scream. Vile held the skull in one gauntleted hand, then slammed the other into the skull and pressed like a vise. The skull cracked, then shattered into several pieces. He gathered up all the pieces of the skeleton using his shadows, the simply ground them into dust.

He turned to me. "Nobody threatens my wife, ever." Then he collected himself and Skulduggery stood before me. We went to the Bentley and were soon on the main road. We didn't bother searching for bodies, two strangers were hardly the ones to ring the local police.

* * *

Skulduggery was back to cheerful before long, and we stopped for coffee and to stretch our legs. He was humming to himself, and I recognized the song 'Jeepers Creepers'.

"Skulduggery, another pop culture reference? Well done!"

He beamed at me. "You quoted the line from the film perfectly too, but I could sense him down there. He wouldn't have trapped us if I wasn't so furious. I wonder what he was. We'll never know now. I'm guessing another Necromancer's trick."

"Skulduggery, don't you dare refer to yourself that way ever again. No matter what anyone else did, you had to _want_ to come back. You put yourself together and fought on, no one else did that. Don't let a terrible man steal that from you."

He hugged me fiercely. "That's why I love you so much, Valkyrie. You believe in me on those exceedingly rare occasions when I don't."

I returned his hug, ever bit as fierce. "I'll always believe in you, Skulduggery, you'll always be my hero. Of course if you tell anyone else I said that, you're a dead man."

"Too late." He chortled, pulling away to tilt his head to one side while he stared at me. "I never thought I'd love anyone more than I love myself. You're a remarkable young woman, Valkyrie Cain."

I smiled at him fondly. I found his massive ego sweetly endearing because he was innocent about it. He never did it in a mean sort of way, he just adored himself to pieces. That's what either won him loyal friends or made him bitter enemies. I was musing when my mobile rang. Tanith. "Hey, sis, how's married life treating you?" I teased.

"Great, sis. So tell me, how was last night? I want details."

"We fought zombies." I offered.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it. Details. Now."

"That's none of your business, sis, and if you don't behave I'll ring off on you."

"OK." She sighed. "Want to know what happened with us? I can do this-" I rang off abruptly removing the battery from my mobile. I'd never get the image out of my mind, and considering I saw Ghastly as my father it made me feel ill.

Skulduggery who had of course heard every word, patted my back consolingly. He also removed the battery from his mobile and we threw them both in the boot of the Bentley, Skulduggery shuddering in distaste as he dropped mine in. "I'll smash it if you want. I think that conversation ruined it forever."

"Smash away." I offered.

"Really?" He asked happily. I nodded and he grabbed the mobile, crushing it to bits then dropping them in the nearest bin. The battery was the same as his so he pocketed it. "We'll get you a new one, in the meantime mine can serve us both. But not for several hours. It stays in the boot until I'm sure she's wandered off in boredom." We meandered though the rest of the day, stopping for lunch, then dinner. I treasured the down time with Skulduggery, I truly did. But it had been just as wonderful to fight zombies and the only other living skeleton at his side.

* * *

When we at last stopped for the night it was at a small cabin. It looked snug, but I got the same feeling the detour had given me earlier in the day. Skulduggery sensed my mood and smiled at me. "Maybe we'll be attacked tonight, Valkyrie." He said cheerfully as we entered then set down our bags and locked the door. He turned to me. "Well, at least I know _you're_ going to get attacked tonight."

He was right, I did, though he barely had me pinned on the bed when we heard a pounding on the roof. Skulduggery sighed and drew his gun. "Are you ready, Detective Cain?" He asked me.

"Always, Detective Pleasant." I answered as my armour flowed over me. Skulduggery gestured and the cabin lights went out, and we both stalked to the window as the noise on the roof increased. Skulduggery gestured again and the door swung open silently. We moved to the opening, braced, and the sounds on the roof became steady bangs and we heard a sharp screech.

We went outside, only to see a family of stoats racing and play fighting across the roof. "I hate nature." Skulduggery muttered, holstering his gun.

"Are you kidding, I love nature, Skulduggery. This means you can take me back inside and we can pick up were we left off."

"Whatever was I saying? I adore nature. Cute little rodents, aren't they? Let's go inside then, Detective Cain. I aim to not disappoint." He titled his head endearingly at me. And we did, and he didn't disappoint in the least.

* * *

 **Yes, stoats can screech I looked it up. They're also nocturnal and will climb trees in search of bird nests. For those keeping track I listed to 'Sweet Child O Mine' by Guns 'N Roses while writing. I did my best to research entering Ireland from the Republic of Ireland and vice versa, so hopefully they're aren't too many mistakes.**

 **Fun fact: The guns in the Guns 'N Roses logo are Colt revolvers, pretty close to what Valkyrie carries.**


	55. Chapter 55

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, Billy-Ray, Erskine, Tipstaff or Valkyrie. Calamity Cat is my OC though. Val is still 24, barely, story is still in her POV.

* * *

Months had passed and we had settled in to married life quite nicely. It was a Sunday morning and Skulduggery and I were reading the papers, looking for even the smallest lead for a new case. We were bored, having been off work for a while now. The world seemed peaceful, great for the world, but boring for us. Skulduggery dropped his paper in his lap and looked at me. "Ghastly and Tanith have a lovely baby, don't they?" There was a hopeful note in his voice that made me smile.

"Yes, very lovely." I said, considering whether or not I should make him work his way up to his real question. Instead I grinned and asked one of my own. "Bassinet is in the boot, isn't it?"

He nodded eagerly. "And the Sanctuary _is_ open today. You know, if we needed to go there for any special reason." He put a purr in his voice and patted his lap. I happily went over to him.

"Are you sure you want to go to the Sanctuary, Detective Pleasant?" I teased, nuzzling into him. He laughed softly, and returned my affections, nipping at my neck gently. I rubbed his skull affectionately and was rewarded with a low growl.

"You know I do, and I've been such a good skeleton." He said, straightening to use his most angelic expression on me, and I had to laugh.

"Then let's go." I grinned, and Skulduggery rose, still holding me in his arms, he looked at me tenderly and I was thankful once again for such a handsome husband. His skeletal features were glowing, and I knew he was as happy and excited as I was.

Infertile couples only got one chance, that was just how the magic worked, and we were taking ours that very day. Skulduggery set me down reverently, his ungloved hand skimming over my belly. "I wish I could give you children the natural way, you know." He said softly.

"I know, and I love you for that." I said and I did. I knew he wanted more than anything to be a man of flesh and blood once more and at times like these it hurt him deeply to be the Skeleton Detective. The man needed cheering up. "But you know, Skulduggery, every woman's real dream is that the man gets to have the baby."

He laughed in delight, and led me out to the Bentley. "Oh no you don't, my dear. Men like how things are just fine. And when we tell you we'd have the baby for you? We _lie_!" He laughed so hard he could hardly open my door, and I punched him lightly in the arm.

I should have guessed he was up to something that morning. Skulduggery always made sure to feed me, but he'd been unusually considerate and tender. I knew he wanted a baby, and yes, I knew the baby would take after him. We'd already talked to the doctor at the Sanctuary who specialized in the Adept magic that would give us a child. He'd explained they just didn't know anything in our case. Would the baby be healthy, would it even come out alive the way Skulduggery was alive? If it did, would it live long? But he agreed we had a right to try, and he'd been gentle during our meeting with him.

Skulduggery looked over at me from behind his disguise, and started to laugh again, his shoulders shaking.

"What?" I asked.

"I just hope you don't faint when you see the baby for the first time." He chortled, and the Bentley veered slightly. "You should have seen the look on your face that night, Valkyrie, it was priceless! The big, scary skeleton. raaah! What did you think I was going to do? Eat you?" He laughed again and I blushed.

"I'm glad you think it was so funny." I growled, but couldn't help grin. Skulduggery was getting back to the cheerful man, well skeleton, I'd first met. Something had happened, maybe our getting married, maybe him realizing I was completely his and his alone, but the grief had lifted from him.

He was happy again, playful. His mood today was more like he used to be and I adored him for it. "You know Skulduggery, when we have a case, aunty Tanith gets to babysit. We'll get an Adept baby that hangs from the ceiling back, just you watch."

Skulduggery snorted. "Uh-uh. Uncle Ghastly will do the babysitting, the man's a natural with children. Did you see him with the baby? Now if they would just settle on a name."

"They will." I said, settling back into my seat with a happy sigh. "We were just more prepared, that's all." I closed my eyes wondering what we would get. A boy would of course be named Skulduggery, and he had insisted a girl be named Valkyrie.

We were soon at the Sanctuary and I could feel butterflies dancing inside of me. I'd wanted a child with Skulduggery ever since I'd realized I was in love with him. He seemed to feel the same way, because he leaned over and kissed me softly through his disguise. He put a gentle hand on my arm. "Ready, Detective Cain?"

"Always, Detective Pleasant." I answered with an eager grin.

* * *

The doctor greeted us warmly. "Now I know you two most likely know this, but this is going to be your baby. No tracking me down at four AM to babysit, though I am also an excellent pediatrician if I do say so myself." He grinned at me and I smiled in return. He knew us enough by now not to go over what could go wrong again.

He had us both sit back and relax in our chairs, then handed us both small vials of serum to drink. I helped Skulduggery with his as I always did, dabbing it on his maxilla, and the doctor was amused. Skulduggery could have helped himself of course, but that would have been no fun. The doctor set the black bassinet Skulduggery had brought down gently between us and smiled reassuringly. He had us hold hands, and began to murmur soothing words.

I felt strange, lighter than air, as if I were tumbling through space and time as a shimmering mist grew around us. I swore I heard far off music or chimes, and could smell the sweet scent of roses. The feeling and sensations retreated and I could hear a soft cooing sound. I dared to look down into the bassinet and my heart melted. I knew some women would have screamed and rejected the baby outright, but this was my son if I could tell by the hip shape. The tiny skeleton was cooing and giggling, squirming happily, and looking around at the world in utter delight. He was also very naked and his father hurried to cover him up.

The doctor smiled warmly. "Well, let me have a look, though you two will know more about living skeletons than any doctor here." He checked the baby gently, and nodded. "Boy, but you can tell from his hips. I present you with your son, Detective Cain." He wrapped the baby up carefully in the black blanket we had brought and handed him over.

I was as gentle as possible with him, he was so small! Something just made me want to hold and protect him forever as I gazed lovingly into his eye sockets. I could feel his gaze on me, and he nuzzled his tiny head into me, making happy baby sounds. A tiny hand grasped at my shirt front, and I laughed as he grabbed at my chest, snorting happily.

I kissed him gently, then handed him over to a hovering Skulduggery. Anyone could have seen the joy and pride on his face. He tenderly stroked his son's skull, murmuring lovingly. We also had clothes and a diaper in the bassinet, and our baby was soon dressed and tucked in securely. He cooed sleepily and soon feel asleep, one tiny thumb in his mouth. The doctor congratulated us and we were soon on our way home.

* * *

Skulduggery and I were both excited, but we managed to let our baby sleep all the way home, although I did hold him, bassinet and all, thankful we'd chosen a portable model. Skulduggery would reach over from time to time to touch me or the baby, making his pleased chirruping sound. He got the door when we arrived home, ushering me in, then took the bassinet. He'd had a child before so I trusted him to know what to do since having your own was entirely different than a little sister.

Skulduggery set the bassinet up in the living room, assuring me he'd make lunch and coffee of course. He looked at me, hesitating a moment, then sat down beside me to wrap his arms around me. "You are happy, Valkyrie?" He asked, nuzzling gently into me.

"Yes I am, I love you, Skulduggery, our son too." He smiled then and drew me into a searing kiss. I returned his affections eagerly, more than happy to prove my need to be with him hadn't waned. We parted and he rose, only for us both to hear soft fussing from our son.

I picked him up and he blinked at me, another trait he'd inherited from Skulduggery, along with his handsome features. He was his father's clone down to the last bone, and now he seemed to have gained his father's appetite as well. A tiny skeletal hand curled around mine, and his father seemed to materialize a bottle of formula out of nowhere. Tiny jaws opened eagerly and clapped down, and our son began to feed hungrily, blinking up at me in utter adoration, somehow knowing to hold the tip of the bottle to his own maxilla.

"Easy, not so fast, little one." I said, trying to ease the bottle out of his tiny jaws and was rewarded with a low growl. "Did you just _growl_ at me, little man?" I asked, laughing in astonishment and he looked up at me with innocent eyes, letting go long enough to make a happy sound at me, then nuzzle into me. "Your father's taught you well, I see." I said, though I couldn't have been angry with him if I'd tried.

"Want to feed him?" I asked, handing the baby over to Skulduggery, and his face lit up at the notion. He cooed gently to his son, settling him securely in one arm, the other helping him hold the bottle. Our son growled softly at him as well when he tried to adjust the bottle and Skulduggery just laughed softly.

"Did you see his expression change? What a temper! And look at him, Valkyrie. He's eating normally. I have a son, a healthy son." He murmured in awe and I kissed his skeletal cheek.

"I'll make coffee and see to lunch, you bond with him." I offered but Skulduggery shook his head, handing our son back.

"Please, you know I love doing things for you. I'll make coffee and lunch. Bring our little one into the kitchen. He might as well get used to seeing a man dote on his spouse because I'll expect it of him when he's fully grown."

His bottle finished our son let go at last. I expected to have to change him rather quickly, but the formula seemed to have just disappeared. He was content, cooing at us, reaching out to grab my hair in his bony grasp. I laughed, tickling his little chin and he giggled and squirmed happily. We went into the kitchen, Skulduggery carrying the bassinet in and I held a sleepy Junior. Soon he was asleep and my mobile rang, but he didn't wake. It was Ghastly.

"So how is the new mother? And congratulations by the way."

"Hey, dad. Great, he just took his first bottle now he's asleep again. He doesn't seem to be much of a crier, which is good. He's very handsome, just like his father. Though I'll admit a newborn with all his teeth in is a first on me."

"I can imagine. Are you all up to some company? We'd all like to see you." I looked at Skulduggery and he nodded.

"Yes, that would be perfect."

"Great, see you in a little bit." We rang off and Skulduggery smiled at me.

"I'm hoping our son makes a good impression, he could use a playmate." He said lightly. I put our son securely in his bassinet and got up and held Skulduggery from behind.

"Of course he will. He's every bit as handsome as his father. Everyone will adore him, you'll see."

Skulduggery turned and held me close, kissing the top of my head, and gripping me tighter. I kissed him and felt him tremble slightly, but he seemed to relax the longer we kissed. Reassured, he set coffee down for both of us once we parted, then looked at me. "You can't be feeding us both. The sacrifices I make for my son." He said good naturedly and took a few spoonfuls of his own coffee, then thought a moment. He got up and took his coffee with him while he made lunch, inserting a straw and drinking easily. He shrugged at me. "Not as much fun, but I'll live."

We ate, Skulduggery happily eating on his own, but with the much bigger appetite he'd recently gained. I had no idea where it all went, but he was a voracious eater at times. He grinned over at me after lunch and was about to speak when we heard a knock at the door. Skulduggery was instantly vigilant, gun drawn, approaching the door stealthily. He inclined his head for me to answer. Yes?" I called out.

"Valkyrie? We're here." Ghastly called and I opened the door while Skulduggery holstered his gun.

"Trouble?" Ghastly asked, eyebrows raised as he entered.

"Protective father." I answered, and he bundled me into a tight hug.

"Nothing wrong with that." He answered. He greeted Skulduggery while a smiling Tanith came in and set a baby carrier on the floor.

"I could sleep for a week. Wait until you're awakened in the middle of the night." She groaned. I smiled and pulled her into a hug as well. It was good to see them both. Ghastly set about helping Skulduggery produce tea and more coffee, and we took both babies in the living room, Tanith cooing and fussing over a sleeping Junior.

"Can I hold him?" She asked, and I nodded. She picked him up gently, cradling him into her. He squirmed slightly then settled in happily. I was relieved that the two hit it off. And he was soon up and chipper, looking at her, head titled to one side just like Skulduggery did.

"He takes after his father, doesn't he?" Tanith asked, amused. We laughed and settled into the couch, She handed our baby back over and picked up her daughter. The two babies noticed one another and were reaching for one another so we set them gently down on our laps.

"Picked out a name yet?" I asked as I watched our son's tiny hand take his new friend's.

"No." Tanith sighed, and I heard a snort as Ghastly entered with a laden tray.

"Yes we have, but the mother thinks Tanith is a terrible name, talk some sense into her, Valkyrie."

I looked at Tanith and she shrugged. "It just doesn't feel right. Besides with my name she'd take after me."

I looked over at Skulduggery with a wink. "Whatever have we done, Skulduggery? Our son is going to grow up to be dashing, charming and a sharp-dresser. Oh Lord, my poor son." I mock lamented and Skulduggery snorted in delight.

Tanith blushed and relented. "Fine. I'll just feel weird and never know who Ghastly is talking to." She grumbled. Ghastly just smiled in reply.

* * *

That night we were getting Jr. settled into our room when Skulduggery tilted his head at me. "You know, we should start calling him Skulduggery, that _is_ his name."

"True. Are all the babies in your family this quiet? He's been a dream all day."

Skulduggery shrugged. "I have no idea. My brother said I was a perfect baby, my sister said all I did was cry. You take your pick."

"You probably _did_ cry." I muttered under my breath.

"Hmm? How was that, Detective Cain?" Skulduggery asked, advancing on me, his hands out.

I yelped with laughter and danced backwards out of reach. "Nothing, nothing at all! I said, uh, I said, uh-"

"Oh, I _heard_ what you said, my dear." He said, a terrible expression on his face. He leapt with a mock roar, sending us both onto the bed, tickling me without mercy. I laughed and snorted, trying to squirm away, to no avail. So I tickled him back, and he was soon on the retreat. "Mercy, I give up!" He wheezed. He sat up happily. "I'll make us coffee. Would you like a snack? I'm hungry."

"Sounds good. Do you think Skulduggery needs anything?" We looked over at him and at the sound of his name heard an answering coo.

"I think that was a 'yes'." Skulduggery said, amused. "You shower, I'll get things ready."

I luxuriated in the shower thinking of how Ghastly had taken me aside that day, stressing the need to let Skulduggery call the shots. He'd lost his first child, he must have a stress level that was going through the roof over the fate of his new one. So although I wanted to carry my weight I let him call the shots, and when I came out he had coffee and a snack ready, and was holding our son, cooing gently as he fed him. Skulduggery looked at me happily. "He takes after me. I tried to fool him with my finger and got bit for my trouble, hard. Then he growled at me, Valkyrie. He _growled_." He said, clearly proud.

I shook my head happily. "You must have wolf blood, our son is feral, just like you. But I love you both for it." I kissed his skull gently and he closed what passed for his eyes. I'd learned to read his expressions years ago and was happier for it.

I touched Jr's skull gently. "Hey, little man, you're going to be a scrapper, just like your dad, aren't you, my little Skulduggery?" He blinked happily at me, wiggling. "All you need is a little suit and a tiny fedora and you'd be his carbon copy." I teased.

I swear they both looked at me pleadingly. I sighed as they continued to stare with heart-melting eyes and dug out my mobile to call Ghastly. He answered, sounding, concerned. "Valkyrie, what is it? Is the baby OK?"

"The baby is fine. Baby and father however would like me to request something. You get ten guesses."

"Oh no. You didn't say a word about a tiny suit and hat did you?"

"Oh, yes I did."

There was a laugh then Ghastly spoke. "All right. I was going to make him something as a gift anyhow. I can't believe you even suggested such a thing. The man's ego needs no help. Lord." We rang off and both father and son looked smugly pleased with themselves.

* * *

There were several suits ready in a few days, every bit as sharp as his father's and I sighed and Skulduggery admired the finished effect. Being a skeleton apparently gave our baby an edge and he was already sitting up, and watching his father carefully. His father cocked his son's fedora down at an angle and adjusted his tie and Ghastly groaned and put his face in his hands. "Two of them. Now we have two of them. "

I laughed, and father and son just grinned into the mirror.

* * *

We weren't even home an hour when Skulduggery's mobile rang. He grunted his way through a conversation, then rang off and looked at me, excitement on his skeletal features. "We have a case! Let's take Skulduggery with us, please? He can be in on the meetings even if we can't take him into the field."

I nodded. "And what do you mean we aren't taking him into the field? I have Ghastly working on a carrier that is sturdier than my clothes. The child will be bomb-proof and magic proof."

Skulduggery grinned happily at me and we gathered up our son and were out to the Bentley. I looked at Junior as we rode, so adorable in his suit and fedora. He had already graduated to a carrier when he sat up, and even though it wasn't the safest place for him, I held him up front, thankful for the magic that surrounded him.

No one else could see into the carrier or if they did they saw an empty carrier. It was an illusion, but one meant to protect our son and give him as normal a life as possible. I almost hit the doctor who had suggested a facade. Not on my baby, not ever. If he made that decision later, that was fine, but for now he would be fine. He didn't have a copy of his father's disguise, yet, but I knew as soon as we could shop he would. I hated that either one had to hide, but visions of them locked away in a lab somewhere to be tested by mortal doctors frightened me.

Skulduggery stopped for two coffees and I reluctantly let him secure our baby in the back seat. We both drank the soothing brew on the way there and I realized Skulduggery was proud of himself. our son made a soft hungry sound and Skulduggery had a bottle to him with air manipulation.

We arrived, happily taking Jr. with us. The Sanctuary was far enough from mortal eyes that we dropped the illusion on his carrier, and just about every Sanctuary detective stopped us to admire him and offer us both congratulations. Skulduggery beamed with pride. I doubted there was ever a prouder father on the planet, and as we swept into Erskine's office along with Ghastly and Tanith the Grand Mage looked amused. "Our new detectives get younger every year." He said, rising to admire Skulduggery, who was sitting up and looked him squarely in the eye, clearly not impressed by the big office or fancy title. "He's his father's son." Erskine said, amused.

We made small talk for a while and Tipstaff happily brought in coffee. "Well, I'm sure you're wondering why I called all four of you in."

We nodded and Erskine looked reluctant to go on. "We, well we were never sure how any of you would take the news, but Billy-Ray somehow came back to life and escaped our Sanctuary the day you got married. We know he's married now and happily settled in Texas. The thing is, we want to call him in to work with you on a new case."

I stared at him. "Are you _insane_? Sorry, that was harsh. But this is Billy-Ray we're talking about, he'd flip sides for enough money. He worshiped the Faceless Ones, and somehow I think they're involved." I growled, and Jr. gave a growl of support in reply, breaking the tension in the room instantly.

"Well if he doesn't behave, you can sic your bodyguard on him." Erskine said mildly. "But yes, the Faceless Ones are involved. There's a cult that was banned in America and unfortunately they moved here. They want to open a portal to bring the Faceless Ones here, and they seem to have figured out a way to do it without an Isthmus Anchor."

"And how exactly would that work?" Skulduggery growled, and I think he knew exactly how it worked.

Erskine shifted in his chair, not wanting to meet Skulduggery's glare. "They need the remains of someone descended from the Ancient Ones."

"They'd kill Valkyrie?" Tanith sounded horrified. "Nobody is touching my sister." She hissed.

Skulduggery answered, clearly furious. "Oh, no, Tanith. They won't kill her. These would be Necromancers, wouldn't they? And Necromancers work with the dead. It would be our _son_ they would kill." His voice was cold, artic and I hoped he could control himself enough that Lord Vile wouldn't make an appearance.

Erskine nodded. "That would be right. Needless to say we know none of you would willingly stay here, but at least take some Cleavers for protection, Skulduggery. And well, we have an additional protection detail I insist on." Erskine spoke into the intercom on his desk and the door opened behind us. Billy-Ray Sanguine strolled in, looking cheerful as always, an attractive red-head on his arm. To their credit neither Tanith or Ghastly killed him outright though Tanith looked like she was about to.

Billy-Ray grinned at us. "Hello, little darlin'. Your kindness brought me back so I owe you. Ain't nobody gonna get close to that baby. You can count on that." He said to me, then turned to the woman with him. "Ain't that right. honey?"

She nodded then looked at him and shook her head. "And you call yourself a Southern gentleman." She stepped forward to shake hands with me. "I'm Calamity Cat, and I'll ride herd on Billy-Ray if he gets out of line."

I smiled. I liked her instantly. Dressed in an all black cowgirl outfit, I could tell she'd go after Billy-Ray if he forgot himself. So we left together, Billy-Ray and Calamity claiming the backseat, Calamity looking out the windows in delight. She caught my glance and blushed. "Ain't never really had a good look around Ireland even though I stopped over before."

"I think you'll like it here." I said. There was just something likable about her and I trusted her.

I settled back into my seat wondering how serious the threat was if Erskine had felt we needed bodyguards. Then I realized, he didn't want history repeating itself. I sighed and looked out the window, praying it wouldn't.

* * *

 **Wow, this started off all cozy, then as it always does trouble came a-calin'. But don't worry none. Miss Calamity will keep Billy-Ray in line even if she has to shoot him, and two Adepts who can Tunnel are as good a protection detail as any baby can get. Will update if I get enough requests.**


	56. Chapter 56

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Tanith, Erskine, Tipstaff, China or Ghastly.

* * *

I woke up later that night soaked with sweat. I'd been having a terrible nightmare involving Tanith and Ghastly. They had twins in the nightmare, one a boy, but he was being kept hidden. First by a Remnant then by some bitter old woman. I realized dully they did have twins, I'd even seen Tanith carry in a twin carrier. What was wrong with me?

The light flicked on and Skulduggery was looking at me with concern. "Nightmare?" He asked gently.

I nodded. "How do I keep forgetting Tanith and Ghastly had twins? Some big sister I've turned out to be, forgetting my own brother. God, I've even forgot to buy him presents."

Skulduggery stroked my back and I noticed our son was standing up in his crib watching me carefully. Skulduggery gestured and he was lifted gently over to us, and he toddled to me on shaky legs. But he couldn't be walking, could he? He looked slightly frightened and I realized my nightmare and fear had frightened him as well. I bundled him into me, cooing softly. "It's all right, Skulduggery. Mom just had a bad dream, that's all, it's OK." He clung tightly, making soft sounds of fright, and it took Skulduggery's soothing voice and touch to calm us both.

"You were gearing up to do something, you almost broke that poor child's jinx, I think. Oh yes, Ghastly's jinx was handed down to his son. He was scarred so he'd never be loved, and his rather handsome son is just, well, forgettable. Oh, he will be fed and cared for, but loved? Never."

I looked at Skulduggery. "I could break his jinx, that's the thing. But I haven't asked Ghastly or Tanith for permission yet."

Skulduggery snorted. "Oh yes, the parents who have to go through the agony of only remembering their own son hours later after he needed affection, I'm sure they'll protest. You can break Ghastly's jinx too, can't you? I never understood why you didn't. He prays every night for the scars to be gone in the morning."

Our son stared at his father sadly. I swore he understood and he confirmed it when he tugged on my shirt, his hollow eye sockets pleading with me to fix things. "No fair, being attacked with love by the world's two most handsome skeletons. Very well, mom will help." I told him. I handed Skul off, unsure of any possible effect on him. I wasn't about to hurt my own baby.

I concentrated, remembering how as Darquesse I'd have easily found the patterns of magic, found a way in, found the center of the jinx and smashed it. I followed the twisted, knotted field into the center that surrounded my little brother and destroyed it, freeing him, then turned my attention to Ghastly. His jinx was far more deeply embedded and the meddlesome old creature who had thrown it on his mother arose to fight me. But there was still enough of Darquesse left in me that I destroyed her without a thought, then broke the jinx. I was growling softly and heard an answering growl of support from both father and son. It broke the tension and I laughed.

Skulduggery grinned at me. "Done? Excellent. I'll make breakfast, well, eggs for all of us, and you can field the excited parents which will no doubt be ringing us shortly. Could you give Junior his bottle? I think he wants eggs as well, or we can at least try. Did you see him walk? He adores you, Valkyrie, I swear he's doing all of this fast growth to please you."

Junior made a purring sound like his father's and nuzzled in deep, clinging to Skulduggery's suit. "He loves you every bit as much, Skulduggery. We're lucky. We have a healthy, wonderful son, and yes I saw him walk, and I'm very proud of him. And you. You're a wonderful father, Skulduggery."

"If history doesn't repeat itself." He said lightly, getting up. I followed him to the kitchen, taking father and son into my arms.

"It won't, OK? I shouldn't activate my magic again that strongly for a while, but he has Darquesse and Lord Vile for his parents. Nobody is hurting our son, ever." I got out his bottle and little Skul looked at me adoringly. I noticed with a start that his suit seemed a tad small. "Hey, little man, don't tell me you're growing on me already. We won't be able to keep you in clothes."

Skulduggery turned around and looked, nodding. "He isn't like a normal child, Valkyrie. He may mature much faster. He is walking, he'll be talking next, so growing doesn't surprise me. I thought he was heavier when I picked him up." Junior just looked smug for his part, his small jaws clamped tightly together as he worked his bottle. I stroked his small skull and he purred adoringly.

He finished and sat up, glancing towards the living room where our would-be guards slept, head titled. He gave a slight snort and I agreed with him. If us waking up in the middle of the night didn't rouse them- I tensed slightly. Were Billy-Ray and Calamity even there? I wouldn't have cared if Billy-Ray got eaten by the sandworms from Dune, but I liked Calamity.

I was about to step towards the silent room when my mobile rang, Ghastly. "Valkyrie? All we want to know is how you did it." He said happily.

"Nothing's too good for my little brother, or dad." I replied. Skul shifted in my arms his tiny skeletal hands reaching for my mobile, I indulged him, putting it on speaker. "I think someone wants to say hello." I said, and of course he made one of his father's happy chirrups. Skulduggery answered with a pleased chirrup of his own and I head a laugh on the other end.

"Those two have their own language already, Valkyrie. It's good to see a father and son bond like that. He'll be talking soon. Oh, before I forget expect some new clothes for your son soon. They'll grow with him, I noticed he's bigger already. You know it just dawned on me that he is my grandson. We have a strange family, considering my own children were just born."

I laughed. "He is also the nephew of Tanith. Poor child, that's what you get from blended families. I'll let you get back to bonding, I'm going to go see if our so-called bodyguards are still alive, we're up and they haven't stirred."

"You do that, and Valkyrie, I know you and Tanith both loved me the way I was, and you always would, but thank you. I mean it, you have no idea how happy I am. I don't have to hide in the shadows anymore among mortals, and I appreciate that. Love you, see you tomorrow, OK?"

"Sure, love you too, dad." I managed and we rang off.

Skulduggery made a soothing sound. "I know, I know, you women find it so romantic when you fall in love or care for a man no matter what. But Ghastly has wanted to be normal forever. I know you two loved him and that in a fair world he'd be accepted for who he is, but we don't live in a fair world, Valkyrie. If we did I wouldn't be terrified of Junior being found out for what he is, one day."

Our son gave a soft growl and raised his fists, clicking his fingers for a spark just as he'd seen us do. Soon small flames surrounded his fists and I stared at him. There was no way he had full-blown magical abilities, but he did. He growled deeper and squirmed to be set down. I did and he stalked over to his father, growling, hands still clutching flames.

Skulduggery picked him up, minding the flames. "It's all right, Skulduggery. There's no one here to fight. I know you're showing me how strong you are, how very brave. Can't say that I've ever seen a baby manifest magic before, but then you are _my_ son." He finished smugly.

Junior seemed to understand again because he nodded and the flames went out. I grinned at him. The flames might not have been huge, but they would have set any attacker on fire just fine. I felt a little better about our sleeping guards but not by much. I tilted my head listening for signs of life. Not even snores. I looked towards Skul. "You weren't snorting because they're asleep, you snorted because they're missing and you think it's funny, didn't you?" He chirruped happily, nodding, ending with a happy squeal and giggle. Apparently there was at least some Lord Vile in him.

Skulduggery laughed. "Good. Sit down and eat some eggs with us then, Valkyrie. The room in there is a mess of course. Looks like there was a struggle."

"And you're not concerned?" I asked, not believing I was sitting down. We had a rescue mission to mount.

Skulduggery snorted. "Billy-Ray is a monster, if he dies I won't loose any sleep. After what he did to Tanith? No, I'm not going to his rescue, and neither are you. He'd turn on us in a moment to save his own hide and you know it, Valkyrie, if he does show up you know he's no longer on our side."

I sighed, he was right. For as violent as Billy-Ray was he was a coward, a coward who would happily put his best friend to death to save himself. I felt bad for Calamity, I'd liked her. She was sweet and honest, but I knew she'd side with Billy-Ray. Still it felt wrong to be eating while they were being tortured somewhere. I couldn't do it.

It was stupid and for all I knew it was a trap, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't let Billy-Ray and Calamity pay for trying to do the right thing. If they had been. It had occurred to me that Billy-Ray might be crazy enough to kill Calamity and try and take Tanith again. Tanith, she'd never speak to me again if I saved his life, but I had to. I watched Skulduggery feeding Jr. eggs and sighed. I didn't want a fight in front of our son. I didn't want Jr. to feel abandoned by me just walking out either. I looked at them both. "Skulduggery Pleasant, I can't believe you. You always taught me to do the right thing, to never just kill the bad guy because justice meant something to you. Granted, Billy-Ray is a monster and what he did to Tanith is unforgivable. She'll never be the same and my heart breaks for my sister. But monster or not he deserves the same kind of justice as everyone else. "

"Good to know you feel that way, little darlin'." I turned to the voice and Billy-Ray was standing in the doorway, clutching his stomach, blood pouring from multiple wounds. I recognized them, Necromancers had been here, in our home and we'd slept through the attack. They had magic I didn't even understand then.

I rushed to Billy-Ray, helping him to a chair at the kitchen table, whipping out my mobile and calling for a van to get him and Calamity, who he said wasn't breathing to the Sanctuary, but there wasn't time, they were going to die unless I exposed myself. I sighed. I hated days, like this. Billy-Ray looked at me, panting, and spoke. "I, we both fought 'em off. Gotta couple of 'em too. You're little one's gonna be just fine." He clutched at me with a bloody hand. "I'm so sorry, about Tanith, about everything, please forgive me, little darlin." Then his head rolled forward and he said no more.

Skulduggery stared at me hard as I used my shadows to lift up a now senseless Billy-Ray. "He gave his life willingly to protect our son, so did Calamity. People can change, Skulduggery, you did."

He sighed and nodded. "You can't carry them both. You get Calamity, I'll get Billy-Ray. Hurry, just shadow-walk her there, I'll bring Junior and meet you. And Valkyrie? I love you." I nodded unable to speak and ran into the living room, hitting the light switch on the wall and wishing I hadn't. The place was in ruins. Blood was everywhere. Dead Necromancers lay scattered and now I knew why they had never made it upstairs. I cursed my own foolishness. We should have warded the house, but being Necromancers ourselves we'd wanted the ability to come and go as we pleased.

Now two people might pay for it. I gathered my shadows around myself and picked up the seemingly lifeless form of Calamity. She was so young, too young to die like this, and I shadow-walked her to the Sanctuary. Doctors were already there waiting when I arrived and they gently took Calamity. Billy-Ray was already in surgery and she was rushed in as well. I tried to summon my armour and could only sag backwards in defeat.

I felt strong arms go around me and turned my head. Skulduggery. "Hey." I managed weakly, then everything went black.

* * *

I woke up in a bed of my own, Skulduggery in the corner meditating with Junior snuggled up to him. I could tell they'd been crying. Why? Tanith and Ghastly were there as well, both had been crying, but they slept now. I shook my head, hoisting myself up. I wanted coffee, I wanted answers. I pressed the call button for the nurse and heard a surprised shriek of delight when I asked for coffee.

Nurses and doctors rushed into the room, Erskine also coming in, trying to elbow his way to my side, everyone was waking up and it was all noise and confusion. "You're lucky to be alive, young lady." A doctor said to me. "You were dying and there was nothing we could do. I don't know how, but you seem to have reset yourself, your vitals are perfect. You're still staying overnight, of course, but you can have a steak dinner with that coffee if you want."

Doctors and nurses all smiled at me, some clearly in awe. The filed out, leaving me surrounded by the family I was afraid I'd lost. Tanith pushed her way forward and hugged me tight. "Don't you ever overdo things like that again. We almost lost you. Where would I be without my little sister?"

She let go and Ghastly bundled me to him. "You terrified us both. I'm not about to loose my daughter just because I can remember my own son now. But, you did the right thing, and we're all proud of you. There isn't an adult in this room who wouldn't deserve being left to die for the things we did. But you've never abandoned us, either."

They made their goodbyes and left, Ghastly muttering about how Tipstaff had better be half the babysitter he swore he was. Skulduggery came to me, and our baby just about leapt into my lap. "You did die, they revived you, but your vitals were all going south. I don't know how you did it, but thank you for coming back. I couldn't loose you, not again, Valkyrie."

Again? I wondered if I had misheard him. "I wouldn't leave you, you know that. But I had nothing to do with this, Skulduggery. I just remember waking up right now, unless the survival part of me kicked in. We got lucky, I guess. How are Billy-Ray and Calamity?"

"Both are getting intensive care as we speak, but they'll pull through. Forensics is making a mess of our house so we'll have to shift to the mansion for a few days. But Billy-Ray gave as good as he got, he killed two of them, wounded several others, so did Calamity. Teams are out, searching now. We'll find them, Valkyrie, don't you worry."

The nurse came with my coffee and withdrew. I looked down at Jr. who had curled up in my lap and gone to sleep. I patted the bed and Skulduggery happily joined me. I gave him several spoonfuls of coffee like I used to and he chirruped his pleasure. "I'll go get us so food, real food, I'm starved." He said, kissing me gently. "I'll send your guard in."

Skulduggery left and a Ripper walked in. She was tall, slimly built and she inclined her head towards me slightly in greeting. Like Cleavers, Rippers never spoke and they wore black uniforms with the faces hidden behind helmets. They wielded twin sickles and I knew this one wouldn't stop killing in my defense until she died. She stood by my bed, a silent guardian. Junior fussed slightly in his sleep and I turned my attention back to him.

I knew the Ripper wouldn't hurt him, but I knew the threat was high if Skulduggery had hired her. He returned soon enough, and she stood stock-still, seeming to ignore us as we set out our food.

Skulduggery spoke, seeing my attention drift back to her as he set out Chinese. "Our Cleavers were fine, but those idiots had no idea anything was going on. She has orders to stay with Skulduggery until this is over, to protect him at all costs."

I nodded. "At least you hired a woman, it wouldn't be because you think we all go homicidal once a month, is it?" I swear I heard the slightest snort of amusement from the Ripper.

Skulduggery seemed to blush and said nothing. Skul roused himself and had a bit of soup, but not much then went back to sleep. We finished eating and talked for a while until sleep at long last claimed me.

* * *

I awoke the next morning, wondering if our Ripper had even moved. Skulduggery smiled. "She'll be relieved in a few hours by her sister, believe it or not. But we have the Necromancers on the run, Valkyrie. They've taken shelter and the time for the ritual such as it was, has passed. That said, we still want them in custody."

"Do I get to shoot a couple? Because I'd love to?" I growled. Jr. growled in response, then giggled. I realized I'd slept with him in my arms all night and kicked myself mentally. "You are lucky I didn't smother you, little man." I said with a sigh.

"Nonsense, Valkyrie. You're forgetting your fine Irish history once again. My mother slept with all of us from time to time. Never smothered a one of us."

"Skulduggery, sleeping with babies in the bed has nothing to do with Irish history."

"I'm Irish, and it's _my_ history." He said smugly, nodding with pride over his own logic.

I turned to the Ripper. "You're a woman, tell him what a bad idea it is." But she said nothing, didn't even twitch.

I sighed and happily got dressed so I could get out of the hospital. I wasn't about to go home and rest. Skulduggery brought the Bentley around and the Ripper managed to fold herself into the back seat. We drove, Skulduggery slightly nervous, then he spoke and I understood why. "We aren't allowed to help with the capture. The idea of a homicidal mother is something the Sanctuary doesn't need to deal with, though I pointed out that if you did slaughter them all America would think twice before it bothered us again." He sighed, clearly wanting to be there.

"The American Sanctuary, Skulduggery, not all Americans. Do I need to remind you that two fought and nearly died in our defense last night?"

"No, you do not. I'll stop for take away, then to the mansion. I just feel restless and I don't know why."

"Because for us things never turn out right. We've known about the threat for about a day and they are already defeated? This just doesn't sound right. Followers of the Faceless Ones tend to be more organized then this. The Necromancers might be, well, a distraction."

Skulduggery nodded. "I'd thought of that. There's only one person I can think of that would kill my son for the fun of it, that would have helped the Necromancers not make a sound last night. I should have killed her when I had a chance."

My hart dropped. "China." I breathed. The Ripper made a movement and I met her gaze in the rear view mirror. I couldn't see her eyes, but I knew it was her. I grabbed Junior to me tightly, but couldn't shadow-walk fast enough. China had whipped a sickle off her back and had it to my throat.

"Stop the car, Skulduggery, or you get to see history repeat itself all over again." She ordered coldly. I flicked my gaze over to him. If he stopped we were all dead, he sped up, and China tightened her grip.

"I'm going to enjoy killing you, Valkyrie. I enjoyed helping kill his first family, you? You're going to be even more fun. You didn't think we were ever friends, did you? I've been biding my time for centuries, waiting for the chance to do this all over again. And do you know why? Because women like you are always," she tightened her grip, "getting," The sickle pressed closer, "in my way."

Skulduggery slammed on the brakes and spun the steering wheel throwing China backwards. I gestured, and her helmet started to tighten. She clawed at it, frantic. I kept up the pressure and she was gasping, trying to scream, her body thrashing.

Skulduggery spun around towards her, his shadows lashing out, decapitating her. I looked at him. "What happened to arresting the bad guy?" I asked, laughing.

Skulduggery just grinned at me. "Remember who I am, Valkyrie. Lord Vile doesn't have to arrest anybody. Now then. We can abide by the law and turn her body in, or you can let Lord Vile take care of things. We could go out to breakfast afterwards." He purred.

"I hate paperwork, bury her deep." Skulduggery nodded, then Lord Vile sat next to me. I sensed his grin as he massed his shadows. He shadow-walked taking China and any trace of her with him. That was a new talent.

I looked down at Junior. He'd managed to stay safe and secure in his car seat, bundled in between me and Skulduggery. "Your daddy is a talented man. I guess you'll be able to do the same thing some day, if you take after him." He actually nodded.

"Vile." He said, a happy giggle after. He waved his hands to be picked up. I did, and nearly dropped him when his weight suddenly increased. I looked at him, now a perfect miniature of Lord Vile. He was adorable. Lord Vile appeared and tilted his head at his son. He didn't seen surprised. He looked at me and I leaned over and kissed him. Vile gripped the back of my head returning the kiss, but tempered his passion. He pulled back, taking his son into his arms.

It was a wonderful sight, but gone all too soon as first Skulduggery then little Skul returned to normal. Skulduggery returned a now sleeping Jr. to his car seat. "He tuckered himself out. China defeated herself, if she hadn't taken the backseat first we'd have put him back there where he belonged. She could have sat by him then, oh, Lord."

"Well she didn't, OK? We always knew she'd show up again, and I can't believe we never knew any better with her. She always seemed hateful even when she acted friendly. But hopefully dead is dead."

"Encased in cement it is. Magic is a wonderful thing and Lord Vile highly approves of a new hotel that is being built. It was easy for him to put the body in without being seen, even as the workers poured the cement foundations, and they go deep, very deep."

"Mmm. Civilians will find her centuries from now and blame a worker." I replied and we both laughed. Skulduggery put the Bentley into drive and we headed off to the inn where we'd eaten so often, a place where Jr. could eat in public and not hide.

I sat back happily. China was dead, our baby was safe. The future looked bright and there would one day be an adult Jr. to work with us if he so chose to. I could hardly wait.

* * *

 **That doesn't have to be the end, I can always travel forward in time to an adult son, or just continue on. Let me know what you think.**


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N: It is late and I am tired, but if I don't post this as-is you will never see it. I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Tanith, or any other SP characters. Thanks to those still reading and reviewing. Hope you like this! Ignore the typos as I said it is late and I am tired...**

* * *

So much had changed in five months I could scarcely believe it. Skulduggery and I were retired as detectives, both being needed more urgently at the Sanctuary in our role as Elders, and the Sanctuary itself was changed dramatically. Jr. had been the one to find it, the old book stored on a shelf in Erskine's office that Erskine hadn't even bothered to look at. Although only five months old he looked to be five and had the IQ of an adult. He'd brought the book to me, wanted to know if there really had been a hidden supply of wealth placed beneath the Sanctuary.

So, with Erskine's permission we had mounted an expedition and found just such a supply, and it changed everything. There were, all told, trillions of dollars worth of gold and magical artefacts, priceless books and scrolls. Hidden histories of magic that were priceless. With the find, came sweeping changes. Ireland was now the most powerful Sanctuary in the world, and the others knew to leave us be, or taste our wrath. But not because of our considerable wealth. There had been other changes too. I'd taken my job as Elder seriously, and as long as Tipstaff approved I was using our wealth for the good of those who worked in the Sanctuary, as well as the other sorcerors we cared for.

This didn't mean of course, that any sorcerer could have anything he or she desired, but it did mean things greatly improved for everyone. We had health care free for all who worked in the Sanctuary now, and a day care as well, we even were starting small classes for children. We were expanding, becoming all inclusive and a place people actually looked forward to coming to. We'd had the dreadful stone walls redone with paint, covered over, or anything else each staff member felt suited their area best, and carpets now covered many of the cold stone floors.

My own office was so plush and well-stocked with sweets and other delights that those who came to see me were always well cared from, at least so far as food and drink went. The baskets of sweets came from one of the new bakers, out of gratitude for the job, increase in wages, and medical care for her grandchild.

She brought dozens of sweet rolls, bear claws, all sorts of good things, and of course I had to watch that my fellow Elder and son didn't scarf them all down the instant they appeared. There were also four large catering size coffee urns, two exclusively for Skulduggery, one for me, and any guests, one for Jr. Being a skeleton he could eat or drink as he pleased and was always in stunning health. I made sure he ate well of course, and with the new cooks the food at the Sanctuary was now so good mages stopped by just to eat there.

That paticular day we were going through paperwork as usual. There were always requests and of course I always had the people applying for help come in and speak to me personally. I could spot a liar, but they were rare. What I wanted to know is if it was just money the person needed or additional services would help as well. I'd become known as the people's Elder, since I'd become ferociously protective of everyone in the Sanctuary, and those who came to us for help as well. It gave Tipstaff fits at first, but he had calmed down and now seemed almost happy as he delivered more paperwork. I just wished he'd stop calling me Elder. It was creepy.

"Elder Bespoke and Detective Low would like an audience with Elders Cain and Pleasant." He announced in a friendly voice. I nodded my approval, repressing a sigh. Ghastly and Tanith walked in, amused.

"So good of you to agree to see us, your majesties." Ghasly said dryly after Tipstaff had left. I laughed. "I hear you get to hear the reports from all our new detectives today, Valkyrie, lucky you. What, if anything, is Skulduggery doing?" We looked over. Skulduggery was currently meditating in his desk chair, his feet propped up on his desk. He did do his duty, but there were days when he felt like being lazy, and truth be told, with three Elders there wasn't always that much for him to do.

"Holding down his desk. Ah, not that you aren't welcome to stay, but you know all the new detectives are reporting right?" I looked at Ghastly and Tanith who nodded. They weren't exactly happy with our newest detectives, but I'd started a policy with Erskine's approval. Any criminal, no matter what his or her past crimes was free to walk into the Irish Sanctuary and sign up for duty. They would be absolved, providing they remained detectives in good standing. If they ever slipped back into a life of crime, I personally promised each one to be kept in the worst gaol I could possibly find.

Surprisingly, or perhaps not, some of the magical world's worst offenders had jumped at the chance, many having come back from the grave the night Lord Vile and I had fought the cave spirit. They'd proved loyal so far, and as I was consistently kind and truthful, they all returned the favor. OK, they were really afraid I'd go all Darquesse on them, but whatever worked...

Our first detective to report in strolled into my office, doffing his top hat to all and sundry. Jr. ran up to him, squealing in delight, and his uncle Jack as he called him swung him high off the ground to rest in his arms. "Well hello there, my fine young lad. Beautiful day, innit?"

Skul looked at Springheeled Jack adoringly and nodded eagerly. Jack was a good uncle to him, taking him on his back and racing along rooftops, teaching him any skills he thought would help. Jack turned to me and grinned. "We got those wannabe Necromancers easily enough, poppet. Couldn't even throw a shadow, they'll have a long time in the gaol to think about what they did. Kidnapping children, the nerve of it."

I took his report, repressing a smile. One rumor about Jack was that he _ate_ children, thought I thought people were being rather cruel. I knew Tanith had once trapped him with a baby's cry, and she shook her head as she left, glaring at Jack's back.

Jack left, promising to be nearby if needed. As if on cue our next detectives walked in, both looking rather decrepit. Thrasher and Scapegrace were our two worst detectives, but having zombies as allies never hurt. They had nothing to report, though their squabbles were highly entertaining. I got a break for lunch and Ghastly joined me and Skul in the dining room. It was a huge place, and being waited on was nice after a morning of serving others. I looked at him wearily. I don't know how we do this every day, dad. Though I suppose it is worth it." I glanced at Skul, the real reason I'd settled down into the Elder's position. Both Skulduggery and I were protective of him, and we'd agreed to work at our positions until new Elders were elected for his sake. The problem being that people liked us as Elders.

Skulduggery wandered up to our table, stretching sleepily. "I miss anything good this morning?" He asked, chirruping happily. He knew very well what he'd missed and I strongly suspected he'd been awake all morning. Our food came and we ate heartily, Skulduggery looking at Jr. We were both training him in magic, so was everyone else he could charm. I knew Skulduggery wanted to be out in the field again, and soon. He sighed but said nothing. I knew he adored our son, but he wasn't geared to be a desk jockey.

Skul of course knew exactly why his father was sighing, and made a slight sound I couldn't describe. It turned out skeletons indeed had their own way of communicating, and they exchanged a series of sounds, Skulduggery nodding every so often. Skul turned to me and made a purring sound. He'd won the discussion and I realized belatedly I'd not only understood what they'd said, but my answering purr confirmed it. Skulduggery was taking our son on a stakeout after lunch.

* * *

That left me free to deal with Tesseract, who I personally wished had stayed dead, and detectives Sanguine and Cat. I sighed when the interviews were over, wishing I was back out in the field. Office work was boring, even if I did care about people and like helping. Hadn't Erskine said that we could do as we pleased?

I left my office and headed to his, he looked up, smiling, then laughing as I groused to him. "Try being Grand Mage. Sorry, Valkyrie, but you really care about people and the new detectives like and respect you. I know office work is boring and I'll try and let you out in the field, honest. But for right now we need you here. Why not hunt down Tanith and annoy some Cleavers?" He grinned and dropped his head back to his work.

Tanith still loved me like a sister, but she was having problems with me letting criminals into the Sanctuary as detectives, even though I pointed out most of our regular detectives also qualified as criminals. We often broke the law to preserve it. She had just dropped her children off at our daycare and seemed happy to see me. I sighed in relief as she hugged me in greeting. "Hey, sis! So Skulduggery and Jr. are off having an adventure without you, huh? How about we get out of here for a while too?"

"I'd love to, Tanith. But I have to be here if I'm needed. Yes, we can do as we please, but to a point. We have so many changes now it feels like I'll be stuck here forever. I don't suppose you'd like to spar?" Tanith grinned in reply and we found an empty training room for our session. We were keeping ourself up because in a short amount of time from a magical perspective the kids would be grown and off on their own, thought admittedly it seemed mine would leave a lot faster.

I worried about Jr. as we fought, and I didn't even realize the match was over until Tanith shook me. "Sorry." I apologized. "I've just been worrying a lot lately. I'm afraid that- Never mind."

"Afraid that what, sis?" She slung a friendly arm around me and we rested against a wall.

"I'm afraid that Skulduggery regrets marrying me and having our son. That he feels tied down, repressed. I'm afraid he'll take off one day and never come back." I put my head down on my bent up knees and Tanith stroked my back soothingly.

"Has he ever said he feels tied down?" She asked gently.

"No, but he's changed. He's not the same Skulduggery he was before. Maybe our getting married was a mistake." I sighed.

Tanith gave me a Gibbs slap and I yelped. "Now you knock that off, Valkyrie Cain. You've changed as well. You are married to your job, you even take paperwork home. A year ago you'd have danced out from under the stuff. It is all well and good to be an Elder, but your husband comes first."

"You just killed women's liberation." I said dryly, but she was right. I wasn't doing the little things for Skulduggery like I used to. I was either too tired, or too busy, and I knew that was great incentive for him to find companionship elsewhere. Had he? Was there a woman somewhere I didn't know about? The stress of my job and my fears caught up with me, but I refused to cry. I got up and resolved to stagger back to my office through my blinding tears, but Tanith held me, refusing to let go. "There's someone else, isn't there?" I asked her, brokenly, and earned another Gibbs slap.

"Oi! That man bloody well adores you. Now you get your six back to your office and you bloody well think about how self-centered you're being." She gave me another rap and I skulked back, hoping I wouldn't see anyone.

I got there and dug out my mobile, but paused before dialing. I had no official reason to call Skulduggery. He was having father and son time with Jr. after all. But I missed them both. The mobile rang and I almost dropped it. Skulduggery. "What is it? Are you both OK?" I asked, keeping my voice low. He never called on a stakeout unless it was an emergency.

"Valkyrie, I need you to remain calm, but we have a situation in the park near the Sanctuary. Come quickly." I was out of my office and running to my own Bentley before I rang off, abandoning my duties. My family, after all, came first.

* * *

I tore down the streets and reached the park, ringing Skulduggery's mobile. "Where are you?" I hissed when he answered.

"Centre of the park, drive sedately please." He sounded way too calm but I obeyed his instructions, putting him on speaker. "Skulduggery, where are-" Then I saw them and almost sobbed in relief. Father and son hadn't been out in the field, they'd been getting an area ready for us all to relax. I parked and joined them, hugging Skulduggery tightly, then Skul.

"I thought you two were hostages." I scolded and they both managed contrite looks, even though neither one felt anything bad had happened. Scaring the living daylights out of me, after all, was half the fun.

"Bad skeleton." I shook a finger at Jr. and he giggled. But the pair had laid out snacks and drinks for all of us, Skulduggery having packed about six thermoses of coffee and two dozen pastries in a hamper. We all stretched out on a blanket and I thanked the heavens that the two men I loved most were still in my life.

"You OK, mom?" Jr. asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I've just been, off lately, all, well, if I didn't know better I'd swear you were getting a brother or sister." I snorted laughter. "Don't worry Jr. it isn't possible." Jr. instead of looking happy snuggled into me.

I looked at him in surprise, taking him into my lap. He looked at me solemnly, his eye sockets mournful. I was glad at that moment that the park was warded by magic. Jr. was free to be himself there, there was no chance of a mortal finding him. "What's the matter, hungry?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Jr. has two things he, well, we both want to ask for. Well, three, really. No, make it four, but that's all, we swear." Skulduggery sounded so sad my heart melted. No doubt it was something they felt they shouldn't have, but I nodded. Four things was the least I owed them.

"What's the first?" I asked, pouring coffee all around and handing out pastries.

Jr. spoke up, very bravely. "We want us to all quit the Sanctuary for a few months, Uncle Erksine says it's OK." I blinked. That was news.

"All right, done. To tell you both the truth I need the rest." Jr. squealed in delight then devoured his sweet, tilting his head endearingly for another. I nodded and they both descended on the basket.

Skulduggery looked at me with a happy chirrup. "Have another, Valkyrie. these are wonderful. OK, well, we also wanted, well, uh, Jr. wants to pick his Taken Name. We know it is early, but he is powerful and _our_ son."

I knew what he meant. Jr. would always be a target because of who his parents were. "Just promise me you'll think a long time before you pick, did your father give you his inspiring speech?" I asked playfully and Jr. giggled and nodded.

"OK, third."

"Don't get angry with us, because Jr. already picked. You love us, right?" I laughed.

"OK, what is it, son?" I asked and Jr. looked speechless for a moment.

"You might not like it, but I wanted a name that would sound normal to mortals, but reflect the people I love most, please don't be mad at me mom, please. But I picked Cain Pleasant." I scooped him up and kissed him.

"I love you, Cain Pleasant, and that's you're name from now on. I think it's wonderful, and very creative, taking both our last names that way." Cain giggled.

"Well Skulduggery Valkyrie sounded like a Rolls Royce Phantom IV that never made it off the concept board." He giggled again. The boy had a strange sense of humour, I'd give him that.

I tilted my head. "Of course, the Rolls mascot, who taught you to be that clever? I did." I grinned at Skulduggery and he snorted. "All right you two, what's the fourth?" I asked envisioning vacations and the like.

"I want a sister like Ghastly has." Cain piped up. I cradled him to me and he continued. "I found a way, it's wierd but, we just need to go to the new bakery and talk to the nice lady who brings us all these sweets shes a- A confection-" He paused and looked at Skulduggery.

"This sounds odd, but she's a confection magician. She can imbue any kind of sweet or pastry with magical powers, baby-granting kind included. We, uh, well-" He drifted off, clearly embarrassed and I gathered them both in my arms.

"Yes, I'd love another baby. I'm guessing nine months the hard way is involved this time?" I asked and they both nodded. I sighed, but I was so thankful to have my men after scaring myself good that I happily agreed, and the truth was, I envied Tanith the twins. We broke apart and resumed snacking. Cain looked at me happily and purred, and his father joined in, making me laugh. "We haven't seen you laugh in a long time, Valkyrie. Don't worry, the Sanctuary got the jump start it needed. We can work on our family now. We've both, take this the right way, we've both missed you so much."

"I've missed you boys too. You know, we could get another boy, just so you two are OK with that." Skulduggery nodded.

"We're more than OK with that. It just feels, well, we need one more child. Cain will have a brother or sister. You know I grew up in a large family, I want him to have that as well. Providing of course you want it too." He looked at me hopefully and I nodded.

"I do, just think, Cain, your own sibling. Are you ready to be a big brother?" He nodded proudly. He might have a genius IQ, and accelerated growth rate, but he was still five months old in many ways. So being a big brother was still special to him. We lingered, Skulduggery confirming that as of then we were on leave and my fears of him leaving me evaporated. I'd known I wasn't there for him or Cain and I was just happy they'd both given me a second chance.

"Let's agree no one in this family ever becomes an Elder again." I suggested, and the both agreed.

* * *

At home that night Cain had snuggled in between us to watch a movie. He was drifting to sleep, and soon cuddled into my lap. Skulduggery pulled us both closer, wrapping his arms around me like he used to. "I was frightened I was loosing you, Valkyrie. To that blasted office. So was Cain. You're never allowed to take an office job, ever again, not if that's what you become. We missed you."

He kissed me deeply, like he used to and I realized how much I'd missed him doing it. I returned his kiss with utter thankfulness. We parted and I smiled at him. "Thanks, for rescuing me, again, and for not giving up on me. I love you, Skulduggery, and I haven't told you that nearly enough lately."

Skulduggery smiled. "I was just as bad. Lazing about, not helping much. A form of silent protest. I realized we needed out of that blasted place before we lost one another. That frightened me, Valkyrie. How could we of all couples do that?"

I kissed him again, then pulled back. " I neglected you, both of you. I lost sight of what was important. Not that helping bring in change for the better wasn't, but you two mean the world to me, and you both know you do." Skulduggery smiled and we both settled in for the rest of the movie.

* * *

Cain was up before anyone else the next day, tearing through the house excitedly. I now regretted letting his Uncle Jack teach him anything as he raced and leapt along furniture. "Come here you." I growled affectionately, managing to snare him midleap and he squealed happily.

We ate a hurried breakfast and were off for the bakery, all of us nervous. I was ready to give Cain a companion, and Skulduggery another child. I knew he felt two would break the cycle, that it would make his family strong. We pulled up to the quiet storefront and entered, a tinkling bell announcing us. Mrs. Gintlíocht came out to greet us. "Hello! You're here for something special today, well come back to the kitchen, come."

She was a cheerful woman, and had already switched her bakery deliveries to our front door, still refusing payment. Her grey hair was piled op top of her head in a neat bun covered by a hairnet, and her hands were dust with confectioner's sugar. She pointed to a plate laid out and waiting with two tempting fudge confections on it. "I bake, and I make candies. Confections. Here it is, you both eat this, and nine months from now you have a little one." She handed a sweet to Cain to keep him occupied and we smiled our thanks.

Skulduggery and I stepped up, both picking up a piece of fudge. His hollow eye sockets held my gaze with utter adoration, then we both ate. The fudge was decedent, but I felt no instant change. I looked at Skulduggery and he shrugged slightly, drawing cheery laughter. Mrs. Gintlíocht came forward to embrace us both. "It worked, you will see. No charge, I insist. You saved my precious grandson's life. We moved close to the Sanctuary for a better life, more work, and it has all come true. We thank you both for everything."

She hugged us again and escorted us out. We drove home, all of us slightly stunned. Could pregnancy happen that easily? I supposed we'd find out in a few months.

* * *

In a few weeks time I knew I was pregnant. I was eating enough to send Skulduggery and Cain into fits of rapture, and they both started petting my belly and talking to the new family member. I grinned. I was enjoying our time together. All day every day simply wasn't enough time with my two best guys. I loved them both dearly, and we'd soon have another bundle to add to our brood. I didn't even mind it when the Sanctuary doctor dropped by with a van loaded with equipment.

He did an ultrasound. It was very early, but he wanted to be sure everything was OK. There on the screen a tiny skeleton was curled up, seemingly quite content. I knew without asking it was a girl. Her hips, her beautiful face. The doctor congratulated us all and Skulduggery held me to him tightly when we were back inside. A daughter. I knew he'd been praying for one. She'd never make up for the daughter he'd lost, but he'd get a second chance with her.

* * *

Tanith squealed so loudly I thought she'd broken my eardrums when we told her and Ghastly the news. They were visiting with the twins and Cain happily played with them. He adored his brother and sister as he saw them. Though if I considered them the same thing, it just meant we had one very strange family.

He was gentle with them, a good sign. But he had always been and I wondered if he wanted children of his own someday. Cain had come so far in five months. He knew now magic was for alone time with us or emergencies only, that included his armour. People like Ghastly and Tanith were fine, but he never used magic in front of the babies, telling me he was afraid he'd scare them. Ghastly smiled over at him. "How are you holding up, Cain? Ready to be a big brother?"

"Yes, but will we both be your grandchildren, I'm confused." Ghaslty laughed and held out his arms for Cain.

"So am I, but yes, if you'll both have me." Cain cuddled into him and purred, soon falling asleep.

Tanith glanced at me. "You're doing something right. He takes to everyone right away, but he's streetwise too. I never worry about him with you to, or on his own. He's a clever one. And protective of you both." She mused.

We chatted for a while, and when our guests left at last trudged up to bed. So far everything was going smoothly, and I hoped it would for a long time to come.

* * *

It seemed to only be a week later that I held a tiny, fussing skeleton. She blinked what passed for her eyes at me, then gave a happy squeal. Father and brother were there, taking turns holding her. "She's beautiful." Skulduggery managed.

"I have a sister, a real sister." Cain added happily. "What will we name her, mom?" I smiled.

"I like Macha myself. If she is anything like the rest of the family she needs a strong name."

Both father and son agreed, and so Macha she was to be. Macha cuddled into me, a wee version of Skulduggery's purr emanating from her, and I laughed.

"Sleep, my little war goddess. Soon you'll be all grown up and having adventures of your own."

"With her brother." Cain insisted.

"With her brother." I agreed.

* * *

 **This was another smooth sailing chapter, but if we went ahead in time a family of four would be terrible for the bad guys to face indeed. Would the former bad guys have kept to the Sanctuary or would they need hunted down by the four best detectives in the Irish Sanctuary? Ah, Macha is an ancient Irish goddess of war and horses and Gintlíocht is one of several Gaelic words for Sorcery.**


	58. Chapter 58

A/N: I Don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Tipstaff, Ghastly, Tanith, Tesseract, Springheeled Jack, Thrasher, Scapegrace, or Dusk. Cain, Macha and a few others are my OCs though. I noticed I have as of yet to do ye olde sappy Christmas special for the pair. Well this will be sweet, but with some fun added. This is a few months after the birth of Macha. Yeah, I know, I know. Cutesy, but not too cute, trust me.

* * *

I thought the world was ending. Light was glaring in my eyes, my bed was shaking, and Skulduggery was shaking my shoulders. There were high pitched squeals like my kids were being tortured. I struggled awake to protect them, and Skulduggery grinned at me. "Guess what today is! Go on, guess!" He said happily. I groaned. I knew exactly what day it was and feared pod people had taken my husband and left me with a cheerful clone. He certainly hadn't made this fuss last year.

"My day to sleep in?" I asked, hopefully. Surely this new-found enthusiasm was a quirk. He'd be back to being the holiday hating Scrooge I'd always known soon enough.

"It's December first! And the Sanctuary, thanks to you, and Tipstaff of all people is all decorated and having the annual tree sale for the first time in centuries. Come on then, breakfast and we'll take the kids and get a tree, and ornaments of course. We need ornaments." Skulduggery said cheerfully.

"Please, mom, please?" Cain and Macha begged in tandem. I laughed, I had to admit it was good seeing Skulduggery happy about the holidays for a change. Very scary, but good. I got up and showered, then met my family downstairs for breakfast.

Skulduggery had managed all sorts of pastries and coffee and Macha was talking at warp speed. Too much sugar. I sighed. She was a little less than two months old, so it made her the size and gave her the personality of a two year old, but happily one without the tantrums. She was just hyper half the time. She was a huge Monster High fan and Draculara and Skeletia were her favourite ghouls, so today she was wearing her pink and black plaid dress with a distinctive skull with red bow on the front.

Cain who was little over a year and a half was a strapping sixteen years old in growth and personality. Luckily he wore a different suit than his father every day so people could tell them apart. It was strange having children who aged so fast, but good. Both were so skilled with magic that we had rejoined the Sanctuary with light Elder duties and some stakeouts.

Nothing dangerous, but both kids clearly adored the idea of becoming the Sanctuary's finest detectives some day. Skulduggery to my surprise, insisted they would be. After all his children had to be the best detectives ever. The children donned the necklaces that created the convincing illusion of flesh and blood bodies on. I intensely disliked the necklaces, but it was that or have screaming mortals flee them. Or try to hurt them. We finished and I stopped the kids before we went to the Bentley. "Sorry guys, but what are the rules?"

"Stay together, always. And don't accept gifts unless you say it is OK first." Macha replied, having taken after her brother and having the IQ of an adult. Well an adult with a MENSA membership. I nodded.

"If someone tries to get us to go with them, or we get separated, fight back, unless it is someone we know and trust and they know our code word." Cain put in, putting a protective arm around his sister. I nodded, pleased.

Ideally the kids would never leave our side, but I knew they would roam. Considering they could both set people on fire and both had mastered the armour they inherited from Lord Vile I didn't worry too much. Both were fighters as well, but still I did watch them like a hawk because that is what good moms do.

Skulduggery escorted us outside, making sure both I and the kids were buckled, then we were off.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I gasped as we pulled up to the Sanctuary. The place was completely transformed, the grounds were done up for the Yuletide season, and there was a huge lot of cut trees and booths of crafts, ornaments and other goods.

The kids stayed close enough, both overjoyed to be out of the necklaces and on holiday as we went for a tree first, and I left them and Skulduggery to it as I met Ghastly and Tanith with the twins in tow. They looked beat. The twins were approaching two and acted like it. I grinned, maybe skeletons were just better behaved.

Ghastly bundled me into a tight hug. "I didn't believe it when Tipstaff agreed to renew the old tradition. Have you seen the inside of our offices yet? The place looks like Hogwarts at Christmas."

I laughed. Ghastly had become well versed in everything the twins adored, and now they were major Harry Potter fans after seeing a show on TV. Nobody had the heart to tell them magic didn't need wands or fancy words. "No, we just got here. I'm still recovering from Skulduggery wanting to be here." I confessed and Ghastly smiled.

"You brought him back to the land of the living, Val. He's needed you and the kids for a long time now. He adores all of you so of course he'll enjoy the holidays again. You are going to come see your old man before Christmas, right?"

I nodded, then left to rejoin Skulduggery. "What about the large one for our main tree and two little ones for the kids to have in their rooms?" He asked, clearly excited at the prospect of multiple trees and I felt my heart melt.

"That sounds great, but are they going to last that long? Christmas still is almost a month away."

"Of course, Valkyrie. These are imbued trees after all. Well, I'll arrange to get these delivered, then we can take the kids to get some hot cider and doughnuts, or coco, or whatever they want, and coffee for us. And doughnuts, I'm starving." I nodded and watched him pay, wondering again over the change that had come over him.

He was still ruthless out in the field, but he was a doting father now, indulging the kids, but in a healthy way. He was also extending that rather protective and indulgent side as an Elder as well. I looked about with pride while I waited. Skulduggery had seen to it that everyone got a tree or anything else their religion used in celebration, money or not remembering his own childhood and the holidays when trees, he swore, were free for the taking where he grew up.

There was so much wealth in our coffers all employees were well paid, but those who were still struggling or the poor we helped could have a tree or anything else they needed such as food for a family dinner. Not that we only helped during the holidays, but it made me proud to see all we did.

He had instigated other changes too, showing a kindness and warmth I hadn't seen in the man in well over a decade and it made me proud to see our abundance helping our people. We also had countless nations represented so there were booths from India, China, Japan, Russia, every country on the Earth, it seemed had given us an employee. We had a well-earned reputation and less progressive Sanctuaries lost their best and brightest to us.

I saw a distinctive top hat moving through the crowd towards me, and Springheeled Jack appeared, grinning. "Pulled guard duty today, missus. Don't mind a bit. Reminds me of how London used to be at Christmas. I just wanted to thank you personal like for the new positions you created. Got to say it is much more fun than bein' a regular detective. Be off then." He tipped his hat and wandered off, keeping a sharp eye on things.

No fool was I. I knew he and the other criminals were killers, it was just what they were. So they went out when dangerous people needed eliminated, or killing was the only option and they liked it just fine.

Skulduggery and the children rejoined me and we got coffee for us, the kids got coco, and everyone had the fresh fried doughnuts a vendor had made. We wandered past booths, admiring the crafts. Macha was fascinated with the imported saris in one, and handmade dolls in another. Then true to form she also liked the toy cars and wooden guns that shot gumbands. But they were both good kids. They knew we were getting a tree and ornaments. If they had money saved up they could get one thing a piece.

Cain watched the money for both of them, and they ended up with a old book on detection for him and Macha settled on a statuette of her namesake from the pagan booth. I knew very well Cain had spent some of his savings on her, but he doted on his sister.

We also took the kids to see all the different displays. There were Nativitys, but also pagan, Muslim and Jewish displays. Every religion, or lack thereof, every culture had some representation, the Irish Sanctuary believed in inclusion not exclusion. Nobody could fight if they all got a say, well, they could, but we weren't going bland and joyless for anyone.

Religions that didn't have a holiday showed positive aspects and those without any religion whatsoever enjoyed the rather ironic blank area set aside with nothing in it. I still didn't understand that since it seemed joyless, but they did end up with secular decorations, though the Wiccans and Druids had bristled slightly when they claimed trees and Yule logs as secular.

Still it was good to see peace after so much war. We wandered inside to our office, our purchases stowed away in the boot of the Bentley and met Tipstaff. Or rather the new and improved Tipstaff. He'd fallen in loved and married, so he was serene now, friendly.

"Detectives! Macha, Cain, how are you?" He greeted us warmly. The kids glommed onto him. He adored children now since he was expecting his own. "How's my pretty girl today?" He asked and Macha giggled. He picked her up for a brief hug and she nuzzled her sweet skeletal face into his shoulder drawing a smile. "You're getting so big, Macha. All ready for Christmas?" He asked, getting a happy nod and purring sound. Tipstaff smiled then set her down gently. He shook hands with Cain and smiled warmly and both us adults and was off.

Poor Skulduggery still looked dazed. "I swear that man gets stranger every day. Now he likes people. Strange." The kids ignored him and were racing ahead of us when the ground erupted in front and behind them. Billy-Ray and Calamity arose, both corralling an errant child.

"Now, you all know better then to run in here, Cain." Billy-Ray scolded mildly.

"You all could get hurt, Macha." Calamity said, cuddling Macha into her and eliciting a happy chirrup. I smiled at our friends. They were more or less Sanctuary assassins, but they adored the children. Now that she was pregnant, Calamity got all the practice she could with them, seeing as how Tanith had made it clear she wasn't allowed anywhere near the twins.

The children looked properly contrite and walked back to us sedately. Billy-Ray shook his head. "Oh, you all are wanted in Ghastly's office. He got a little somethin' you all might want to do. A genuine stakeout. Well, be seein' you." With that the two dropped under the floor again.

We went to Ghastly's office and he looked surprised to see us. Tesseract was there, obviously getting briefed on a case. "Uh, did you want us for a case?" I asked, and Ghastly sighed.

"I don't even have to ask who sent you. No, what I said was "I'd love to be able to send you two out on this case", but it's too dangerous, considering." He looked pointedly at Macha, and she bristled.

Tesseract, wearing an even scarier mask than usual bent his hulking form down to meet her. The two were best friends now, and he hated seeing her upset. "Come now, my friend, there will be many cases for you in the future. They will send you soon."

Macha growled in frustration and looked at Ghastly. I smiled, knowing what was coming. I was proud for her taking after me. "What's so dangerous?" she demanded, folding her arms.

"Children are being kidnapped, Macha, by bad people. So I don't want you anywhere near this." Ghastly began, but Macha exploded in outrage.

"Bad people are hurting children and you won't let me help?" I tried to stifle my laughter and failed.

"Give up now, Ghastly. That's my advice. There's no reason we can't do a simple stakeout if Tesseract doesn't mind." I said.

"I'll go with you. We will take the Sanctuary van. My precious friend does not go alone." Tesseract said.

"Go where, poppet?" Jack asked, walking in. He was briefed and demanded to go with us.

"Look, my guard duty is over and I don't want Cain or Macha out there alone." Tesseract managed to look slightly insulted and Skulduggery and I exchanged amused glances. Things only got more complicated when a male voice with a Texan accent added its own two cents.

"You set a horrible example, Skulduggery. First takin' out Valkyrie at twelve and she was gettin' tossed around like a rag doll and now your own kids. We're goin' with you, we still get to stand watch on these kids, and I take an exceptional dislike to kidnappers." Billy-Ray ended with a growl.

Ghastly buried his face in his hands. "Look," He said, his voice muffled, "this is supposed to be a simple stakeout, for one, maybe two people, so as not to attract attention. Plus it is too dangerous for Macha, there are vampires involved."

"Macha, you are to stay here and that's an order." He commanded her and Macha just grinned. "Oh no, you didn't let her, not at her age?" He asked and she giggled.

"No, she just seems immune to instructions from anyone, willful child, no idea where she gets it." Skulduggery put in mildly. eyeing me and I snorted. She got it from him, obviously.

Ghastly sagged, clearly defeated. "Fine. You want to put her in harm's way and be bad parents, fine."

"We don't want to." I growled. "But we know her. She'll sneak off to help and what if mortals get a hold of her?" I asked, my temper rising. Ghastly paled.

"You're right. She is safer with all of you. OK then, you can all take one van, Tanith and I will take another, leaving the twins here." He took one last hopeful look at Macha and she growled in reply. Ghastly sighed.

* * *

The vans were in place, both parked in alleys. We were all staying together, since we only knew that vampires were involved. Were they the muscle or behind the kidnappings? Magical children, five and under were being snatched and never returned. No ransom was asked for, instead money was sent to the parents with a receipt for the child.

So of course we all wanted to be there. I knew Tesseract had lost a sister to kidnappers, never to see her again, but he held himself in check, seated protectively next to Macha, boxing her and Cain in.

Billy-Ray tried to ease the tension. "Now you all look here, we'll get these people, and get the kids back, don't you worry none." Calamity said nothing to that, only clutched her own stomach protectively. I was about to assure her it was all right when I spotted movement on the rooftops. Night was settling in, and the children had been set free on the roof of the warehouse. But they weren't staying there.

It made sense now why they had been paid for. They would never have human families again. I watched in dull horror as they ripped skins and clothes off and ran along rooftops, hissing, play fighting, learning from the older vampires.

There had to be at least seven or eight children and two adult vampires to each one. I spotted the ringleader. Dusk. He seemed to sense my gaze and looked at me directly, a faint smile on his face. Skulduggery saw what I saw and radioed over to Ghastly as quietly as possible. He turned to me. "Why children? Why?"

"Most adults will hesitate to kill children, that's why." Jack growled.

"That, and look." I added. We watched as mated pairs came forward, selecting children. This made no sense. Vampires were supposed to be remorseless killers, going only on animal instinct, but they were showing thought, meeting with the children, playing with them. I sighed. I felt terrible for everyone all around. The kids were clearly lost, and some had bonded with the new parents already. "Now what? I don't want to kill a child, no one here does, and you know they'll attack." I said.

"We pull back." Skulduggery said firmly and Ghastly confirmed on the radio. We were pulling backwards when a female vampire landed in front of us. She looked as horrible as any vampire. Bald, big fangs and razor-sharp nails, but this one for some reason was a distinct shade of blue which made her look rather pretty. She wasn't acting wild either. She motioned for me to get out, so I did, telling the others to stay put. I didn't want a battle if we could avoid it.

"Why are you leaving without attacking?" She asked, her voice as close to civil as a vampire could manage.

"The children are lost to us. You- Vampires can't have children, can they?" I asked gently.

"No, and what works for other infertile couples does not work for us. We are not unreasoning beasts, Detective Cain. No more children will be taken, we swear, but please, leave us in peace. The people we took them from, they were the real monsters. They beat these children. We who want children more than anything, we would never hurt a child." She had tears in her eyes and I nodded.

"All right, we leave you in peace, but we ask the same. The Sanctuary hasn't forgotten vampires were our allies when we fought the cave spirit, even if you were just protecting a food source." I teased gently and she grinned a horrible grin. Peace it would be, for now at any rate.

* * *

"Why are we letting them go?" Macha complained on our way back. "They took kids."

I sighed. "Not every person who has kids deserves them, Macha. The parents did bad things to these children, the vampires rescued them, adopted them. The money they sent was an adoption fee. They want children, just like your dad and I did, OK?"

She nodded. "We wouldn't have survived a fight, would we?" She asked, showing fear for the first time.

"No honey, not against that many vampires. They move too fast for even Darquesse or Vile to get them all at once. But they agreed to peace. Beside Dusk no longer has the scar I gave him, he looked almost serene. Well as serene as he can get."

Tesseract laughed. "He loves holding a grudge, he was just being sentimental over children. Trust me, he has a worse temper than my cat and pettier too. I see no point in grudges or revenge." For that I was thankful. Lord Vile, had after all, killed the man. But he'd never tried for revenge, and he was in his own way a good man. A ruthless killer, but then so was almost everyone in the van.

Tesseract doted on Macha, so he picked up where I had left off. "There are many types of people on this Earth, little one. Not just humans, they all deserve to be happy. And well paid for assassinations." He teased. It was strange seeing a man who looked like Jason from "Jason X" dote on a child, but he did. She wasn't a sister or daughter to him, but a friend, like Skulduggery was to me. I smiled to myself wondering if one day they would be partners.

Macha for her part cuddled into the hulking man and fell asleep, purring.

* * *

Much later the trees had been put up and decorated, lights included, of course, and sleepy offspring were in bed, as were we. I was cuddled into Skulduggery. "You know, I might be mistaken but I think I saw the start of a partnership today."

He chuckled slightly and kissed me. "I thought the same thing. He'd be good for her, but let's not go plotting. The man is a loner, after all."

"So were you."

"Yes, but I liked the challenge of an annoying partner." He teased, earning a punch in the arm.

"Ow! And just when I was going to thank you for not pointing out that I've let Christmas into my home."

"Mmm. I thought it was unusual for you, but nice. I've got to admit a tree without tacky ornaments that doesn't sing or dance, well, I like it. You would have been horrified to see some of the things my parents bought. Lord. But they liked schmaltzy, tacky stuff."

"True, I distinctly remember a horrid wreath they had one year, hideous. Speaking of them, how are you?" He titled my face towards them.

"OK, actually. I know they're safe and we have a huge family. Us, the kids, Ghastly, Tanith, poor Uncle Gordon who is due a visit, the people at the Sanctuary. I still miss them, but you've all helped me heal. I never thought I'd say this, but you're a good influence."

"Be still my non-beating heart. Did you just compliment me?" Skulduggery asked in mock wonder. He grinned to show he meant no insult and treated me to a long, lingering kiss. We were still lovers, thanks to soundproofing and magical locks we had no surprise raids to worry about. Skulduggery seemed to be thinking the same thing and growled in pleasure when I stroked his skull. He took me in his arms again, and we didn't part for hours.

* * *

Early the next morning I was up, thinking I heard something in the house. One of the kids was up, I was sure of it. I went down to their rooms realizing it was both of them. I heard their voices from Macha's room. "But if mom finds out she'll be mad, maybe like the bad parents." I heard her say and my heart melted I didn't wait for a response, I couldn't. I knocked then opened the door scooping her into my arms.

She was shaking and it broke my heart. "Sweetheart, what is it? I love you, you know that. I won't get mad what is it?" But she just shook her head and grabbed her plush skull pillow and burrowed into me tighter.

I looked at Cain and he sighed. He wasn't a tattletale, ever, but he knew his sister needed him to help. "Macha picked out her Taken name, and it worked. That's why granddad couldn't make her listen in his office. Sorry, Macha, but mom does have to know. Still love me, right?"

Macha growled in response and I laughed. "Honey, I'm not mad, OK? Your brother wasn't much older that you when he Took his name. What did you pick sweetie?" I asked, praying it wasn't Vile or Darquesse.

"Well, Cain helped. I wanted a name like Skelita Calaveras since it is so pretty and she is pretty too but he told me in a few decades I'd regret it, so I chose a prettier name, all on my own." She ducked her head shyly.

"I'm glad you listened sweetheart. Four centuries from now, even forty years from now few people will remember Skelita, though you of course will and that's a wonderful thing. What did you pick?" I asked and sensed her summoning up the courage to tell me.

"Valkyrie Pleasant. I wanted to be named after you mom, dad too." She looked up at me now hollow eye sockets filled with the need to be accepted and loved and I held her tightly to me.

"That's a wonderful Taken Name, Valkyrie, and your name from now on. Why don't you two get up and help me with breakfast and we'll tell your dad when he gets up, OK? I know he'll be proud of you too, Val." Both kids grinned and were only too happy to help. We had the radio going and were enjoying the lit tree by the time a sleepy Skulduggery emerged and he was even more proud of Valkyrie than I thought he'd be.

I smiled and watched my family. It was odd living in peacetime, but lovely. We had peace with the other Sanctuaries, peace with the vampires. We were getting to be as normal as possible with our children and I treasured that.

I knew they would be truly grown, caught up to their outsides in a few short years and no doubt off on their own adventures but until then we had moments like this. I thought of the Skelita doll already wrapped in Monster High paper and hidden away for Valkyrie and wondered what Skulduggery had picked for Cain.

Christmas would for the first time in ever be a true holiday for us and I found myself looking forward to it. We had a family now, extended family and friends as well, and the occasional stakeout and bad guy to catch. I smiled to myself and joined my family, thankful for the gift of peace.


	59. Chapter 59

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery or Valkyrie, Val is like, scary old now compared to the novels. Like 27 or 28. Gods. BTW, story is in Skul's POV this chapter. Think he's due one, don't you? Oh, this is about a day after the last chapter.

* * *

I smiled to myself as we sat down to breakfast. Poor Valkyrie hadn't showered yet, tending to the kids before herself. I liked that in a woman, I _needed_ that in a woman. I never worried for the children's welfare with her around, and she seemed to always be near them. I was a lucky man, I knew that. Even though now a skeleton I had a good wife, the type who accepted I'd been married before, who loved me for still loving my first family. Though if she knew the entire truth, I couldn't be sure of her reaction. Joy, or anger that I hadn't told her sooner?

I was happy though. Valkyrie was the woman I wanted and craved beyond all reason, and our children were the finest I'd even seen, mostly because of her. She was flexible and indulgent with them, almost like a big sister, but strict enough that all it took was her flashing eyes or warning growl. Like the vampires we were both appalled at the idea of hitting a child.

All being hit as punishment ever taught a child was to not get caught, and I should know. I shook my head inwardly, coming back to the present. Our daughter Val was going on about something she'd dreamt about. "You should have seen him dad, he was huge! Kind of fancy with green scales, and really friendly. I mean bigger than Uncle Gordon's mansion huge. Are there real dragons?"

I looked at her and smiled, she was describing Ye Ye. The dragon who had, for a time, fed Valkyrie and I in his restaurant near the Sanctuary. Not that we'd known him for a dragon until our last meeting of course. Well I hadn't, but Valkyrie hadn't looked too surprised. But of course she hadn't been, I was that good a teacher. I could feel Val's hollow sockets on me, could see what passed for her eyes staring at me, waiting for a response.

"Yes, yes they are, Val. Your mother and I were lucky enough to befriend a very friendly dragon we called Ye Ye, that's grandfather, since he wanted to be your mother's grandfather. I'm sure if it was him you met he is checking in on the family in his own special way. I know he'd love you, but then anyone would. You're _my_ daughter." Valkyrie snorted back laughter as did the kids but I didn't mind. Why shouldn't I have a healthy ego? Wasn't I proving to be a wonderful father and husband? I didn't even mind our down time, strangely enough. There was always some nutcase, sooner or later that wanted the world to end.

Nutcase? Wonderful, now I was picking up words from Valkyrie. Still, all in all it was a good day. We'd put up the tree the day before, my sweet little Val had Taken her name and instead of whining to go to the mall or tying up phone lines the kids went to find something to do after breakfast. I watched Valkyrie as she cleaned up, setting the dishes in the sink. I'd always disliked housework so of course the dishes cleaned themselves as did the entire house. I saw no need to ruin good suits or her hands doing work that magic did better and faster.

Val left the kitchen returning with our daily libation of bakery confections and a paper. She frowned at it. "Not that I mind, Skulduggery, but did you start ordering a paper?"

"No, perhaps Mrs. Gintlíocht left it for us or forgot it? We could ring her and ask." I did just that but she had no idea where the paper had come from and was more worried if it had been thrown and hit the box she had left. Valkyrie shook her head 'no' when I asked and I rang off. Strange. Stranger still was that Valkyrie was seemingly enraptured by it. We'd had a contest once to see who could read a paper longer, and neither one of us was the layabout and read the paper type. But now she seemed to be reading as if her life depended on it, flipping rapidly through the paper.

"Look at this." She tossed me the paper and I was appalled and a little more than fascinated. Although printed on newsprint it was clearly a paper with a circulation of one. Every page had stories about people in the Sanctuary, pictures included. We never did this, never risked exposing magic. I looked at Valkyrie worriedly, but she was already shrugging into her jacket and out the door. _That's my girl._ I thought. _Make sure there are no more copies on other doorsteps._

I made several discreet calls, but happily we both came up empty. We were dividing the paper to look for clues as to the sender when Cain and Val appeared.

"Can we help too, dad?" Cain asked and I nodded, handing him a section and explained we were looking for the sender. Val sighed in exasperation and asked for the first section. I handed it over and she flipped through until she folded it with a grunt of satisfaction.

"The masthead, dad. It tells you everything you need to know about a paper." She handed it back and I scanned the masthead, rather annoyed I hadn't known that but nodding as if I had. I couldn't be expected to know _everything_ , after all. As I read my mood darkened. Kenny Dunne was not only editor-in-chief, he'd written the entire rag and taken all the photos. The man had to be mad if he'd thought he'd scare me by threatening to expose magic. I wondered where the hack writer had been hiding.

I rang the Sanctuary and in twenty minutes received a reply. Kenny was in handcuffs, absolutely bewildered and had no idea what anyone was talking about, or so he said. I had a feeling this rather annoying mortal knew everything we were talking about as I leaned forward in my chair in the interrogation room, Valkyrie beside me.

It didn't take long for Kenny's story to fall apart, and then he grinned wickedly. "I'm only here to distract you. I won't even remember any of this after I tell you something: I was set up and the clever little distraction has kept you away from your home, and your kids." I snapped out of meditation abruptly. How had I dozed off? I looked over to see Valkyrie glancing idly through a normal mortal paper. She frowned over at me. "Are you all right, Skulduggery? You were talking to yourself."

"Nightmare." I admitted. For as wonderful as things were I knew how easily they could be taken away from me. I resolved to calm myself, to not show the anxiety on my impassive features, but Valkyrie read it all the same.

"Hush." She said, coming to sit on my lap. "It's all right, the kids are all right, I'm fine. I've been having bad dreams myself. We aren't used to peacetime, we're used to putting all the fear and everything else aside, then ignoring it. But cheer up. Some nutcase will want the world to end soon and things will be back to our type of normal."

I grinned at her. What a thing to wish for! But it was true. I didn't feel useful if I wasn't out chasing bad guys, and now I would've settled for separating cantankerous old people at a bingo game. I sighed. We'd done our jobs so well we had peace. But we also had kids so I told myself to enjoy it for their sake.

I stretched and got up going in to admire the tree. I'd never had one with electric lights before, though I'd seen plenty and I'd enjoyed putting it up with the kids though I'd thought more of how sturdy the wire was and wondered if it would make a useful garrote for some yet unknown bad guy since the only ones left were really rubbish and took stupid names.

This one, I had decided would name himself something truly rubbish like the Kringle Killer. Or the Yuletide Strangler. _Maybe_ , I thought idly, _I should become a writer. Hadn't Valkyrie offered me lessons?_ I wandered into the kitchen but had to go to our office to find her. She was looking at the paper, then her computer screen with interest.

"Look at this, Skulduggery. A rash of killings, all with a Christmas theme. The mortal police are calling him the Candy Cane Killer. He's only offing known offenders so they've been a bit slow to catch up with him." She laughed, amused. Like the Sanctuary the mortal police at times welcomed killers who cleared the streets of even worse people, but of course, justice had to be served and I wondered if we'd be brought in on the case after the mortal police had talked with Geoffery Scrutinous.

* * *

We were indeed called to the Sanctuary and the entire family was cheered, all of us having had all the Yuletide quiet family time we could handle. Now we wanted action, though I still worried a bit about Val. She was so small, though with a Taken name and her fighting ability, plus Lord Vile as a father I supposed I was being over-protective.

The killer it turned out was indeed a sorcerer, just a rubbish one intent on ending the world because the tacky blow-mold ornaments and decorations had driven him mad. I had to agree with him there. He was calling himself both the Holiday Helper in his rant-filled letter to the Sanctuary, and also the Yuletide Strangler, promising the next victim would be strung up with lights and I applauded my own foresight and cleverness. After all you have to think like a killer, even a rubbish one, to catch him.

We were just starting to discuss the case, being mindful of the children's attentive ears when Tipstaff burst into Ghastly's office excitedly. "The killer, the Christmas whatever, he's been caught, we're locking him up in the gaol now. Isn't that wonderful?" He exited and I sagged in my chair, but Valkyrie looked over at me.

"Cheer up, Skulduggery. I thought maybe since we are this close we could go over to Ye Ye's and see if he's back. I'm sure he'd love to meet the kids and I know we're all starving."

I grinned, cheered. "I was going to suggest that myself." I admitted. "Unless you need us for another case?" I asked, but Ghastly waved us off.

In almost no time were were at Ye Ye's restaurant and he was indeed there, greeting us warmly. I realized then he never seemed to have any other customers and wondered if our first meeting had been pure chance. He was certainly taken with Valkyrie. Greeting her as granddaughter, and the children as well. He seemed to exult in picking up Val and hugged a surprised but happy Cain to him tightly. "It is so good to see my granddaughter again, to see all my family. Pease be seated I will bring you your tea and we will have a lovely meal. I have many things to tell you."

He bustled off to the kitchen and we settled in a booth. Cain sat beside me and I sensed something was wrong but not what. His sister was watching him closely but he shot her a look and she nodded. Now what were they up to? The children were all too happy to have taken their necklaces off so perhaps it was just excess energy, but if they took after me they were up to no good.

I was wondering what their future lives would be like when Ye Ye returned with tea and cups for everyone, laughing with delight to see us all join him. There was something about the dragon I liked, a pure joy about him even though I sensed he'd seen much sorrow. "Now the food will be ready in no time, but we must discuss the children. I have been watching over you two always of course," He paused to sip his tea, nodding to me and Valkyrie, "but ah, the little ones. You see, they are growing quickly as young dragons do in size and intelligence, but they are still, and I mean no harm, babies."

Instead of getting angry both children sighed in relief and Ye Ye smiled. "You see? They are babies still despite the bright minds and outward appearance, so it would please me greatly if they remembered it is OK to want things for their ages."

Cain spoke up first. "So it is OK to feel, well, little?" He asked, seemingly ashamed and I worried I'd failed him. He acted so maturely that I treated him as a young man.

"Of course, young one, for you are. You will not be ready to be an adult for many years yet. Rejoice in being young. Enjoy TV shows you like, play with your sister, find other things you like to do. It is fine for you to like toys you know. You may look like an adult, but you are still a baby yet. I hope I'm not hurting your feelings. You've been very brave but you don't have to be an adult, not yet."

Ye Ye got up for our feast, letting Cain help him and I realized he was just a child. Not much over a year old and although Ye Ye certainly trusted him to help serve, he still treated him gently, like the baby he would have been if he hadn't aged so quickly. Valkyrie had taken the news well and was now happily fussing over a giggling Val. She seemed relieved to have her babies back in the nest, no matter how big they were, and I was too. I had, after all been terrified of the prospect of letting a two-year-old son date and was relieved I wouldn't have to.

Ye Ye talked happily as we ate and I noticed an understanding look pass between him and Valkyrie who then went white as a sheet. "You saved them, our children, you saved them." She breathed, and he nodded, suddenly serious but his tone was kind when he spoke.

"Compared to dragons you are both infants yourselves so I knew you knew no better. But while training them is fine expecting them to fight an adult would be a disaster. You wouldn't take a mortal child of say five, black belt or not and make them fight an adult, even if they were as big as the adult. But it wouldn't have been on the case, you know when I saved them. But on to other things."

"Wait." I said, slightly confused and not liking it a bit. "You saved them when? No, not last night. That noise, I thought it was just the wind or the house settling." The children looked scared but Ye Ye assured them he had protected us all the night before, even with the killer landing on our roof, frightening him away, then today leading to his capture. He'd already seen to it mortals would remember nothing, and he assured us we had no way of knowing about the killer until he'd put the paper on our doorstep.

"Mom, can Ye Ye come to dinner, we should thank him for saving us." Val put in, tugging on Valkyrie's jacket and Valkyrie nodded.

"We'd love to have you, Ye Ye. It's the least we can do and if you will be back for a while, we'd love the children to see you as often as possible, us too."

Ye Ye smiled kindly. "I would love that but only if you let me cook and I insist. It has been a long time since I have been invited into a home, Valkyrie Cain and I thank you, You too, little blossom." He smiled at Val and I saw her blush.

"Do you have a place to stay?" I asked wanting to make some gesture to repay the man's kindness.

Ye Ye shrugged. "I will find a place or be here, I have a cot in the back. Quite cozy."

"Absolutely not. I insist you come stay with us. You saved our children, we'd be delighted to have you stay with us, at the very least until after the New Year, and I don't mean our New Year either." I insisted and saw happy tears prick Ye Ye's eyes.

"You want me to live with you? You are sure?"

"You saved our children." I managed.

"You saved us as a family." Valkyrie added. "We'd have made terrible mistakes with both of them, judging them by their outsides. Please, Ye Ye, come live with us." Valkyrie hugged him tightly. "We can manage a room for you, I'm sure, and now that Val and Cain will be staying home from now on," she paused to stare at them both firmly, "they need a grandfather to keep an eye on them. Please? We need you."

I could see Ye Ye's heart melt and he bundled Valkyrie into him and he nodded too overcome to speak. Then he was happy, singing to us as we finished our meal. He came with us when we left, making sure that Val was secure between him and Cain and checking that their necklaces were on. He fussed like any good grandfather and my non-existent heart swelled to see the sight.

We arrived home to a shock. The house seemed brighter. It had always been a good home, but now it seemed larger somehow and I recalled legends of dragons that granted wishes, large homes included. But it still seemed to be our home, with just a bigger kitchen and a room for Ye Ye added in the back.

The kids were enchanted with the new kitchen, and they explored excitedly. Ye Ye smiled at them, looking at his own room in delight. Valkyrie gazed on him lovingly then looked at the kids. She sighed. "I should have thought of it before, Uncle Gordon is due a visit and I think two children here might find something they like in my dragon collection."

"Your what?" I asked, not recalling Valkyrie collecting anything. And she grinned in reply, happy to have surprised me.

"My dragon collection. I was born under the sign of the dragon, so was dad. I just never told you because you laugh at that sort of thing and you hate kinckknacks." She ended with a growl. Ye Ye laughed.

"Dragon statues are pure art, young lady, not knickknacks." He turned to the children. "But yes, she is indeed a dragon. Bet you children didn't know that. And it gets better. Being magical by birth you inherited your mother's sign just like you got your father's appearance, hence your fast growth to, shall we say, dragon-size?" He giggled slightly at his own joke, amused.

I was about to agree to this outing when my mobile rang, I answered, annoyed. What did the Sanctuary want now? "What?" I growled and heard silence on the line. "Who is this?" I snapped, slightly louder. The caller ID had been Erskine's but the caller said nothing. Then was a further silence, then the line went dead. I dialed back instantly, and was told the number was no longer taking calls.

I walked a short distance away to ring Ghastly. I told him what happened and he grunted as he got up from his desk, taking his mobile with him. I could tell he'd left his office then was knocking on Erskine's door. Erskine's door was never closed. Ever. "Ghastly, get away from that door, evacuate the Sanctuary now!" I barked and he didn't hesitate to listen. I hurried back to Valkyrie.

"The Sanctuary's in trouble. Somebody dialed me through Erskine's mobile and his door is closed. Ghastly is evacuating everyone as we speak." Ye Ye agreed to watch the children and we were off.

"Seatbelt." I said automatically as we got in, then I was driving as fast as possible, the streets a blur. We were almost to the Sanctuary, about a block away when my mobile rang again and I whipped it out. Erskine's mobile. Again.

"Erskine, is this you? Speak to me!" I ordered but again eerie silence met me. Then there was a sound I hadn't heard in decades, a needle being placed on a record. There was the familiar hiss then a song started to play, but the music was distorted as if the record was playing at the wrong speed.

It sounded like an evil version of a Christmas carol but I couldn't say which one. I pulled to the side of the road, putting the mobile on speaker and Valkyrie just stared at the mobile with me. The song ended and there was again the hiss, then a rhythmic noise of the needle bouncing at the end of the record. Then the line went dead.

We were just getting out of the Bentley and heading towards the Sanctuary when an explosion threw us to the ground. I looked up in dull horror. We were both all right but the Sanctuary wasn't. It was in flames, and the worst thing was I could see that not a single person had evacuated. We ran forward, into the smoke that rolled towards us, but it was useless, there were no stunned victims on the lawn, no huddled groups of people who had escaped.

The Sanctuary was gone and so were all our friends. Ghastly, Tanith, Erskine. All of them. Gone.

* * *

 **Ta-da! How is that for a cliffhanger? Hope you liked it!**


	60. Chapter 60

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Erskine, Tipstaff, Jack, Billy-Ray, Tanith or Ghastly. Cain, Val, Ye Ye, Calamity and Laura Row are all my OCs, though. Chapter is in Val's POV.

* * *

I stared at the burning Sanctuary in disbelief. We'd seen this sort of thing done before, it sadly wasn't a new tactic, but we'd failed to get here in time. I had been sure that we would somehow heroically dismantle the bomb in time and save our friends. I chided myself for not donning my armour and just shadow-walking here, but it was too late for regrets now. We had funerals to plan, eulogies to write. So stupid, we could have been here in an instant not the twenty minutes it took us to arrive.

Wait, Twenty minutes, a bomb scare. I turned to Skulduggery. "Skulduggery, what is the normal evacuation plan for the Sanctuary?" I asked.

"We don't have one." He said dully.

"All right then, what would Ghastly do in an emergency? Think, Skulduggery! Tanith and the twins were in danger and we don't have that many employees on any given day, now do we? What would he have done?" I urged.

"He would have evacuated the twins, all the people, then left himself, but do you _see_ anyone?" He asked, so angry that tears were starting to stream from his hollow sockets.

"No, I don't but why would survivors just stand in the open? Everyone had to be in a panic, had to have the instinct to flee, to hide. A bomb isn't something you stay and fight is it?"

Skulduggery shook his head sadly. "No, Valkyrie, no. If there are survivors then why aren't they coming out of hiding?"

"They forgot their magic, Skulduggery! They're most likely still terrified and more than a little humiliated, because I know I am. Why in God's name didn't I shadow-walk here or suggest our bomb techs dismantle whatever it was? I was in a panic, Skulduggery, the same as everyone else." I was angry at myself, but it was Skulduggery I was shouting at and that wasn't helping things much. I sighed. "Skulduggery, I'm sorry. I love you. And yes, I'm scared, upset and terrified that our friends are dead, but we have to at least try and find them, all right? You also have to get any Sensitives here to dissuade the mortals from seeing a burning building OK?" I asked, hugging him tight.

He nodded and dug out his mobile. I turned scanning the grounds. Survivors could have been anywhere. Maybe they had panicked and went below ground, maybe they were someplace else, but where? I looked towards the woods. Could they have found shelter in there? I approached slowly, knowing that any survivors could easily mistake me for an attacker at that point. I came close to the edge of the woods and stopped. There was nothing. No trails, no broken branches, nothing. Maybe nothing I could see with living eyes. I willed my armour to me and let my dead senses expand, easily seeing the many tracks of survivors, the places where they had entered the woods, then turning to the woods themselves to now easily see through the the camouflage of brush and branches.

I could sense the fear they all felt, and although I knew I risked having my head taken off by a magical blast I still called out. "I'd like a report on the number of survivors, Tipstaff, and that's an order!" I barked, and sure enough he came out of hiding to report to me.

"All present and accounted for. Elder Cain?" He asked uncertainly and I nodded. I wondered why he hadn't tripped into his alter ego but didn't mention it.

"What about the prisoners, were they evacuated?" I asked and Tipstaff looked rather helpless but another voice answered.

"The prisoners are safe, Val. The underground part of the Sanctuary is so heavily warded no damage would have been done to it. The cells themselves offer even more protection. In theory at any rate." Ghastly said, then sighed as he came forward to embrace me.

Other people emerged and soon we had everyone, a senseless Erskine included. I put my armoured hands on him, sending healing energy into him and his eyes opened weakly. "Valkyrie." He managed. "You two missed all the fun." He joked weakly.

"Did you see who attacked you?" I asked, and he shook his head no before he passed out. I sighed. Skulduggery had joined me and he and Ghastly were doing the best they could to direct the efforts to put out the fire.

Skulduggery came over to me. "Valkyrie, well, you can heal in that form, could you restore the Sanctuary?" He asked and I pondered his question. The damage wasn't as bad as we feared, in fact the blast had only taken out the Grand Mage's office, and set the Sanctuary on fire. With the flames now out I stared at the gaping hole.

"Let me ask you something first. What kind of terrorist gives everyone a chance to evacuate? Who then also knocks out the Grand Mage but doesn't harm him and blows up his office? Then gives us a hint with a creepy Christmas carol on his mobile?"

"Somebody who doesn't like the Grand Mage or Sanctuary much." Skulduggery said with a snort. "Look, I think it is too dangerous to take everyone back inside until we know more, but a Sanctuary has to be kept running. You might hate me for asking, but the mansion does have a lot of rooms-" He trailed off, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Rubbish idea, sorry."

"Wonderful idea, Skulduggery. Let's get everyone together, see who wants to go home because I'm not holding anyone here, then offer up the mansion. We'll leave it to Ghastly, all right?" He nodded and we soon told the small crowd our plan.

A few did leave to go be with their families and I understood the reaction. But most stayed and we had people installed in the mansion in short order, much to Uncle Gordon's delight. Detectives and others swarmed in and out, getting things ready the best they could although with everyone except the gaolers forbidden from reentering the Sanctuary there was precious little for them to bring in except food and supplies that had been meant to go into the Sanctuary earlier that day and never gotten there.

Erskine came around and seemed to feel stronger. But I wasn't ready to push him on his past. I personally felt this wasn't about him, not entirely. The caller had had a perfect chance to kill him in the explosion, but in my armour I'd seen a vision of a slender person dressed all in black carrying him tenderly into the woods and laying him down.

I got the briefest glimpse of her pale white face and ruby red lips. She could have been a rival to China but her beauty was real, not magical. She'd kissed Erskine gently, then laid a red rose on his chest, done up in Christmas ribbon.

I hadn't shared the vision with Skulduggery yet, but I got the strongest sense that although they two had a relationship this just wasn't about them. There was something about the Sanctuary, a deep abiding hatred and it all tied into Christmas. Had we somehow triggered her by trying to bring back the old traditions?

Erskine looked at me. "What's the matter, Valkyrie?"

"I feel responsible. This person clearly has issues with Christmas if the call we got was any indication." I told him about the call and he went ash white.

"Oh, God, Valkyrie. I think I know who did this. A long time ago I was a detective at the Sanctuary, surprising, isn't it? I was total rubbish of course, but we had a detective, a brilliant mind, the best I've ever seen. She was a war hero as well and had a beauty to match China. We all admired her and she was always the one to keep things humming, but something went wrong for her. She'd always refused a partner, until she met me."

He stopped talking as Ghastly brought in tea for him and Skulduggery got him a blanket. The men clearly wanted to hover but I gave them a look to let them know he'd talk more without them there. The left, murmuring words of encouragement I don't think Erskine heard.

Erskine seemed to wait until they were gone then turned to me. "Her name was Laura Row. Row as in argument and that is about all we did, like you and Skulduggery. Until the day we realized we had feelings for each other. I was in love, Valkyrie, truly and deeply in love and so was she." He sighed and seemed to shiver, then continued. "We kept our relationship a secret. I wasn't any better a man in my youth that I am now, and I didn't want to ruin her reputation. It was bad enough she'd chosen me for a partner, people talked as you can imagine."

I nodded encouragingly and he continued. "But for her I had stopped, I swear that to you Valkyrie, I did. No more women, no more indiscretions. I stopped going to my usual clubs and spent all my time with her. I wish you could have met her, Valkyrie she would have adored you."

I smiled. "Erskine, I may have to arrest her, but I take it there is more to your story. And before you ask, all it takes is a nod from you and I'll let her go if we find her." He smiled gratefully.

"You're a rare woman, Valkyrie Cain. You understand men, and yes, I'd appreciate it if the case was fouled up. I can't arrest her, not for this, but I think it was a cry for help. I'll tell you why. We were serious enough that we were going to be married. We'd even found a chapel and intended to wed then let everyone know. We were to be married on Christmas Day."

"That was romantic of you and very sweet, but something went wrong, didn't it?" I asked gently.

"I got left at the altar. Oh, she showed up all right to tell me one of my women had shown up and told her I'd spent the previous night with her. She gave Laura a ring of mine that had gone missing just a few days earlier. Laura threw the ring at me and stormed out of the church and I never saw her again. And no, I did not cheat on her, I swear."

"I believe you." I said gently. "Women can be cruel and whatever woman did that wanted you both to pay for her not being with you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. But why is it a call for help?"

He produced the rose from inside his jacket. "I used to get her roses done up in ribbon whenever we had an argument to say I'm sorry. She left me this. I think she is reaching out to me for help. I suppose you want this for evidence." He offered it to me and I shook my head.

"Keep it. We know who she is and her relationship to you. But I don't think she is in this alone, and if she is this is about more than you." I told him about the vision I'd had and tears came to his eyes.

"Do you think she still loves me?" He asked.

"She might. It would explain getting you out of harm's way. But your office still exploded and the Sanctuary still had to be evacuated so I don't want you running off looking for her, Erskine. Unless-"

"Unless what?"

"Unless she was returning to you, to the Sanctuary, but then she would have stayed. We're missing something here. You didn't see who got the jump on you? She was strong enough to carry you, there's no shame in admitting she hit you."

Erskine shook his head. "If it had been her I'd have known. I just suddenly felt ill and slumped forward, like I'd been drugged. Please, Valkyrie, I know her. She was a good woman, if she's behind this she must have her reasons. Please." I nodded and rose to leave. "Valkyrie? You once asked why I'm never serious with women and now you know. After that I shut myself in. I told myself I'd never fall in love again, and I haven't because I still love her, and only her. Oh, Laura."

I smiled sadly at him and left. Ghastly and Skulduggery were busy so I went to the kitchen for some coffee and found Tanith and the twins. Tanith caught me in a tight hug. "What's going on?" She asked, concerned.

"I messed up is what's going on. I should have been there, Tanith. I should have-" But she cut me off with an angry gesture.

"You're not God, sis. You can be expected to be everywhere at once or prevent every bad thing from happening, so stop acting like you can."

I blinked. "You're right, and no one was hurt, but I feel like I should have been at work." Tanith came and took me by the chin making me look at her.

"Do you remember what happened the last time you spent too much time at work?" She asked gently. I nodded and she continued. "Well all right then. You go home now. We'll all get settled in the best we can, leaving a few folks here to let people in and out and the like. Go on, then. We'll be leaving soon as well."

I found Skulduggery and we left. He looked over at me as he drove. "What did Erskine tell you?"

I sighed. "He knows who did it, or we think he knows. We just have my vision and his rose to go on." I told him what Erskine said and he listened carefully.

"Well, well, before my time. But she won't be the first disgruntled lover or ex-detective to show up and cause havoc. I trust you're instincts though, Valkyrie. She isn't in this alone, or if she is she has reasons, more than feeling scorned or she'd have had her revenge in a bloodbath. No, this was thoughtful, planned out, we're being sent a message."

My armour flowed over me without my bidding and I got another vision. Skulduggery to his credit didn't seem to be wrecking the Bentley, but all I knew was my vision. Laura, walking away from Erskine into the woods, watching as two men dressed as Sanctuary detectives came out the front doors. Watching over Erskine as the evacuations started, then retreating to her car on the other side of the woods. She jogged easily. Once there she got out her mobile. "He's out. Thanks so much for letting me rescue him." She said bitterly then rang off and put her head down on the steering wheel and wept.

* * *

We were home and I was on the couch, my armour having retracted on its own when I came to. Two very frightened children were looking at me and I held out my arms. "Guys, shh, it's OK, all right? You know all about my armour. It's never done that before but I needed it for some reason."

Cain pressed into me and I realized Ye Ye was right. Although he could be his father's double he was still a terrified baby, not even two years old yet. He clung to me and started to cry and I soothed him as Valkyrie climbed in between us.

"It's OK, sweethearts, really. Mom's OK. I just got a vision, I told you about those. Like a dream, that's all."

"You wouldn't wake up, Mom." Cain sobbed and I stroked his back. Skulduggery and Ye Ye came in the room with strong coffee and food for everyone. Ye Ye cooed and prattled to the children soothing them, giving Skulduggery a moment alone with me.

"What happened, Valkyrie? You scared me."

"I think the armour is almost sentient in a way. Or I was getting a vision and it came to me, either way I needed the protection. But she's in on this unwillingly. Oh, I kind of promised we'd foul up her capture, sorry."

Skulduggery smiled. "I'd planned on it. I've never seen Erskine in love before, I pity the man."

"So do I. I'm sure she still loves him, the way she kissed him. It isn't her after him, it is our mysterious caller. I wish Laura wasn't wrapped up in this. I think she was coming back to us, Skulduggery. But somebody is blackmailing her, I know they are."

He nodded. "Another gift from Lord Vile, I think. He could know almost anything about anyone if he wanted to, it came from his armour and you do have a bit of him in your armour after all, you lucky girl you." He teased.

I snorted, then smiled at him. "Yeah, I _am_ a lucky girl. I didn't mean to yell at you, you're a wonderful husband and partner, not to mention best friend." I said, touching his skeletal cheek tenderly. He smiled in response, then was kissing me deeply. Giggles interrupted us and we both blushed and sat up. It was wonderful to be home with my family and having dinner and I realized how lucky we'd been. Whoever was blackmailing Laura was not overly evil.

He'd let her take a drugged Erskine to safety and although toying with us he'd allowed the evacuation. Whether he waited for our arrival or not I wasn't sure, but he'd wanted to make a statement. I heard a knock on the front door and went to check who it was before opening. Springheeled Jack stood there. I let him in and he doffed his top hat to me. "Evenin', missus. I just heard about the Sanctuary, just now. Erskine wants protection 'cause of it, so seein' as how we're rather short staffed from the scare, we're the best he could do."

He stepped aside more fully and Billy-Ray and Calamity walked in. I looked at them. "Not that you aren't both welcome, but the last time you were here-" I shrugged helplessly.

Calamity laughed and waved a hand. "Them Cleavers ain't worth spit, hon. We got ourselves a real scrapper here this time." She nodded to Jack.

I wasn't sure why or when he and Billy-Ray had made peace but I was thankful then that they had. "Well, come on in then, we're just having dinner we've got plenty."

They came in and the children squealed in delight to see them. I was glad they were there. I didn't sense any danger since the threat had been directed at Erskine, but it never hurt to be careful and it would be great catching up with Calamity. I wanted another woman's view on the case and I hadn't been able to confide in Tanith because she would have told half the Sanctuary. That and although still friendly and loving I knew she resented me hiring Billy-Ray. I didn't blame her.

* * *

Calamity and I had left the rest of the family eating and went into the kitchen. I told her what had happened and she whistled. "You reckon this here blackmailer fellah got some kind of thing for Miss Row?"

I nodded. "God only knows what he's making her do, Calamity, but she is tangled up in this somehow. I think they worked together, maybe she's the reason two non-detectives were able to get in and out. We already know he was drugged and the explosives were set, most likely by them."

Calamity seemed thoughtful. "Like that cave spirit thing, can regular people do that? Cloud minds and everythin'? Gives me the shivers just thinkin' about it."

"Indeed the can." Skulduggery answered from the doorway. "An Adept ability or a Sensitive whichever word you prefer. But if that was her doing it will be ever harder to let her get away." He sighed. This of course warranted an explanation so we all went back to the living room and told everyone, the children included the story.

Ye Ye tilted his head thoughtfully but said nothing. Jack whistled and Billy-Ray looked nervous for some odd reason. "What's the matter?" I asked.

He shook his head angrily. "How're we supposed to fight a bomb? What if they'd made a mistake and it was too strong or it went off early?" He growled and gestured to Calamity. She of course cuffed him smartly on the ear and I tried not to laugh.

"Now you just hold on a second, Billy-Ray. You ain't no innocent pup. You we're one of them people that was all set to let the Faceless Ones in. You can hardly be judgin' some poor gal that got herself roped into all this."

Billy-Ray rubbed his ear and grumbled. "Well, it ain't like I ever done nothin' like that. There's limits." I shook my head. Had the kids not been present I'd have given him and earful. He had on many occasions tried to kill me, and I truly did not see the difference in bombs or straight razors but he did. He must have read my mind. "My razor gives people a sportin' chance, little darlin'." I snorted laughter but said nothing. The children adored him and he was a reformed man. I smiled at him so he knew there were no hard feelings.

"Until we know why she is involved we are all to be worse than useless when it comes to her arrest, OK?" I asked and they all agreed.

Val stared at me in shock. She was strictly by they book. I had no idea where she got it from. "Look honey, uncle Erskine was in love with her and she is still in love with him. We aren't saying she won't answer for taking part, but well, to protect uncle Erskine we're letting her go. For now, OK?"

She nodded and was about to reply when my mobile rang. Tipstaff.

"Tipstaff? Is everything all right?" I asked and was met with a shaky laugh.

"Yes, yes. It's just that there's something going on, isn't there? Something I'm not trusted to know about. I want to help, Valkyrie. I'm of no use whatsoever until the Sanctuary is cleared and with the scare I'm afraid we'll be in the mansion a few more weeks."

"I'll give you something I need done. When it is safe I'm going to need you to go through the old case files in the basement. We want a criminal going back to when Erskine was a detective."

"Our Grand Mage was a detective?" Tipstaff sounded surprised.

"Yes, it was news to me too, I want you to protect him too, OK? This might involve just him, I was thinking it was against the Sanctuary, but no, the more I think of it, it is all about him. We want a criminal who would have been transfered and just broken out of a gaol or been released recently. Can you do that?"

Tipstaff assured me he could and rang off, clearly happy to be of some use. I caught Skulduggery's stare and shrugged. "Erskine has a way of ticking people off, mostly men." I said pointedly and he nodded. Erskine had after all admitted he'd been seeing other women up until his partner.

Could an angered man related to a scorned woman be responsible? And what about the woman who had ruined his chance at happiness? We always assumed bad guys were men. But it was easy enough for a female mage to pass as a man, especially if she dressed right.

I had more questions than answers and tried to put the case out of my mind for the rest of the evening as Ye Ye told stories. I knew from the glances he gave me every so often that he was curious about the case. He'd seen me convince the others to foul up finding a woman who could be the ringleader for all we knew. I'd had a vision after all but had jumped to conclusions. What if she was behind everything? What if the call was to a jealous lover? I sighed and tried to let the case go.

* * *

That night I had nightmares. Nightmares where no one evacuated, where the bodies of my friends and family lay strewn in rubble all because I had forgotten my magic. Nightmares where Laura laughed as she drove away, having masterminded the whole thing in a jilted lover's revenge. Some mages after all took centuries to get around to revenge. I woke up before dawn not wanting to sleep again. A fierce storm was rolling in and I went to the window to watch as lightning danced across the sky and thunder boomed.

The case weighed on me because I felt guilty, I knew that. I also knew Tanith was right. If I let myself get sucked into the role of Sanctuary guardian and ever-present Elder I'd loose my family. I was only human after all. The thought reminded me of an old song by Level 42 and I went to turn on the computer in our office to listen to it online. The power was out. But it shouldn't be. We had a back up generator. I tensed feeling my armour flow over me.

I opened myself to my dead senses. There was a living being nearby. Not anyone who belonged there either. I stalked through the house following the signal that seemed to get fainter as I approached. I opened the front door, barely able to feel the presence now and was meant with howling wind and lashing rain. Thunder boomed and lightning struck the ground close by as I looked down and saw the limp form of Laura Row on our doorstep.

* * *

 **The plot thickens!**


	61. Chapter 61

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Ghastly, Tanith, Tesseract, Springheeled Jack, Billy-Ray, Erskine, Darquesse, Thrasher or Scapegrace. Ye Ye, Reba, Val, Cain, Laura, and Darkling are all my OCs though.

* * *

I quickly used my shadows to pull Laura inside and knelt to feel for a pulse. It was there but barely. I was already tired from using my armour so heavily so I had no choice but to call the mansion and ask for a van and for the doctors to be on standby. Then I went to wake Ye Ye, explaining our situation and asking him to watch over the children.

He nodded, instantly up and alert. I went into to see Skulduggery deep in meditation and sighed. Although his big theory for sleeping fully clothed was that he was always ready at a moment's notice, he might not wake for hours yet. But I didn't intend on leaving him out of a case. I'd have to carry him down to my Bentley and follow the van.

He was easy enough to lift up using my shadows and as soon as he was safely secure I grabbed my mobile and keys in time to meet the van of Cleavers. I had no idea why we used them instead of just regular medical personnel but most had rough medical training and a doctor was waiting in the van as Laura was gently lifted in aboard a gurney.

I went to my Bentley to find a rather confused Skulduggery rousing himself. "Valkyrie? Why aren't we in bed?" He asked and I answered him with a lingering kiss that he happily returned. He wasn't wearing his disguise but I wasn't about to go back for it. I adored him and wanted him by my side as he was for once. "Our case showed up on our front door. Laura Row is currently being transported to the mansion to receive medical treatment." I answered happily. I couldn't help it, the detective in me was thrilled to be on the hunt again and to have an additional reason to beat the living daylights out of the bad guy when we caught him.

Skulduggery smiled then titled his head in the way he knew got him anything he wanted. "You know, Valkyrie, this _is_ a Bentley, and I do so adore Bentleys and I've never driven it yet-"

I laughed and got out to his happy chirrup of delight. Skulduggery met me in front of the car and held me tightly. "I love you." He whispered, drawing me into a lingering kiss.

"And I love you, Skulduggery. Now let's go pounce on a bad guy." I said happily. We got back in and Skulduggery showed the same reverence for the Bentley he had in the past. Except for her ivory cream colour she could be a twin to his own beloved car, and he adored her just as much. I knew he was proud beyond words that his wife had such a fine car but in reality the car was his, a wedding gift I'd happily given him.

Skulduggery followed the van, clearly enjoying himself. He glanced over at me. "Got a good scare thrown into us, didn't we? God, Valkyrie, I was terrified you might be next. But I agree with your theory. Poor Erskine. But he'll get to see her again, won't he?" I heard the smile in his voice and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Wait, is my partner getting, I don't know, sentimental? My, how children will change a man." I said amused and he laughed even though I sensed a blush.

"You _make_ me sentimental, but in a good way. Speaking of sentimental when are you and Tanith going to face the topic you've both been dancing around? You know as well as I do that you'll have to, Valkyrie."

I sighed. "I know, but I'm rather fond of my teeth in my head. She's never said anything, but I'm guessing she feels betrayed. And it is hurting poor Calamity who wants to be friends with her more than anything. We'll have a lovely Festivus dinner and she can enjoy the airing of grievances." I joked lightly.

Skulduggery smiled over at me. "I like you plan." He said, clearly amused.

"It has a certain understated stupidity." I said, and he pounced as knew he would. He was catching up on pop culture quite nicely.

""Seinfield" the episode on Festivus. Clever, that." He said clearly pleased with me and himself. I laughed and cuddled into him enjoying the ride to the Sanctuary.

* * *

Luckily the doctors told us Laura would be all right and seemed to be suffering more from stress and shock than anything else. She'd already been reunited with Erskine and I smiled to see him kiss her tenderly. She'd been given one of the mansion bedrooms and I was OK with that. To me it was Uncle Gordon's mansion to run however he saw fit and he adored being in the middle of the Sanctuary.

He floated up to me, now able to travel at will thanks to his enhanced Echo Stone. "You have no idea how wonderful this is, Valkyrie! To be here, to get to see all this, it's a lovely Christmas present." He said smiling and hugging me the best he could.

"I'm glad you like it. They will be here a few more weeks. Wards have been set up so no one really notices us coming or going. I understand Tanith came in with Ghastly. I better go face the music." I left him with Skulduggery and found Tanith running the kitchen, seeing to all the supplies being carted in.

She smiled when she saw me and came up to gather me in a hug. I got her to follow me to a quiet room. "What's up?" She asked, suddenly serious and nervous.

"You know what." I said with a sigh. "Look, Tanith. I know you don't like who I hired but I'm thinking of the future. Things won't always be this peaceful, and by peaceful I mean only one attack on the Sanctuary in the last few years. Trouble will be coming, it always does."

"But why Billy-Ray? Why, Valkyrie? Don't you care what it does to me to see him? Don't you?" She asked in anger and anguish and I looked at her steadily.

"Yes, I _do_ care, and you don't know how much. But we need him and Calamity as allies. What do you think would happen if we let them go? America would turn them against us, and if one reformed bad guy goes, they all will."

She nodded tightly. "So I just get to suffer until then? Or maybe you'd rather I left?" I looked at her, utterly shocked.

"You want me to make a choice then?" I asked and she nodded again. "You want all of them gone, don't you?" I asked and she looked away. I sighed and left with her with a heavy heart. I knew now I should have expected this. Erskine had been fine and so had Skulduggery. We'd all done terrible things after all.

I'd done more than most as Darquesse. So perhaps I'd cut the bad guys a little too much slack. But they had proved loyal. It didn't feel fair or right to be forced to choose, but I knew I'd have to. Tanith's animosity towards the former criminals was growing. And although I'd cut off my hand before I'd willingly hurt her or Ghastly, I also was an Elder and had to balance justice for all, not just my friends or those I cared about.

Thrasher and Scapegrace found me, and the pair was as eager as ever to help with the investigation. They were utter rubbish as detectives but they were growing on me. Scapegrace still insisting that he, or rather she, had been the Killer Supreme, but now was a reformed zombie. Although they looked terrible and smelt worse the Sanctuary had managed to halt their rotting though we could do little else for them. I looked at Thrasher. He was the first zombie Scapegrace had ever turned and unfailingly loyal to Scapegrace. We'd fought on many occasions but now I needed them as allies and friends.

"Thrasher, how do you get out of a no-win situation?" I asked wearily and he looked thoughtfully at me.

"You don't I suppose, not without loosing something. Why do you ask, mistress?"

"Please don't call me that."

"Inspired Elder."

I sighed. "Valkyrie is fine. Tel me, you two hear and see everything. How are our reformed detectives settling in?"

Thrasher looked unsure and shrugged and Scapegrace sighed. "We're being sacked, is that it? Fired?"

"No!" I said decisively. "You're not. But they'd tell you the truth since you were in the Revenger's club together, well, some of you at least."

Scapegrace nodded proudly and I was surprised her head didn't fall off. I still wasn't used to treating her as a woman, but I was trying. "They're proud to be of service and doing what the mostly did before. So long as you have them going after problems you want dead, they're happy."

I nodded. I didn't like this threat to the Sanctuary so I explained to them that I needed them to gather the former bad guys and go search, starting at the Sanctuary where an agile and cunning Adept like Jack might pick up clues. "But you're taking Tanith with you." I said and Scapegrace gulped but nodded.

As Scapegrace rang the people she'd need I found Tanith and told her of her new assignment. She glared at me in pure hatred but I stood my ground. "Tanith, I love you as a sister, I always will, but if our Sanctuary had a death penalty, you'd be the first one in the chair. You've killed more people than most of our reformed detectives combined and that was before a Remnant possessed you. Now you either put up or shut up." I growled and left her to it.

* * *

Skulduggery laughed on our way home, pleased with my idea. "She'll either grow to appreciate them or you'll see their true colours come out and be rid of them. Simply brilliant, Valkyrie. I always wondered how long they'd all last. But we shall see."

"I think they'll surprise us. If Lord Vile and Darquesse can reform anyone can. OK, maybe reform is a bad word to use, learn to kill for the right reason?" I asked then winced.

"Good enough for me, and don't wince. We kill people when we have no other option. I know Tanith will do her best to run them off, but they trust you, Valkyrie. You've always been kind to them. They know you're doing this to force a bond or a choice, but from them, not you and it's a wise move. You're a leader, so it's about time you acted like one." There was fondness in his voice so I smiled in reply.

He was right of course so I answered him. "Tanith might be older and my best friend but I'm her boss, her leader whether she likes it or not. Until the day I step down and someone else takes the ridiculous throne she'll answer to me." I said and Skulduggery beamed at me.

"Now you understand, Valkyrie. A leader can't let those under her walk all over her. Tanith will always push to run the Sanctuary her way but you can't let her or it might as well be her on that throne and we all know that would end in disaster. She has to realize that working with those we've fought in the past is a fact of life for all of us. I notice you don't resent Billy-Ray."

"I saw the man die, remember? And he never kidnaped me either. All he wants to do is mend fences with her now. I don't think insanity cures itself, but whatever his obsession was with her was, Calamity cooled it."

Skulduggery snorted. " _You_ cured it. He told me once when I met him in the hall the real reason he stopped going after Tanith. You were the first woman to treat him the way he longed for, to cry over him. Your compassion saved him. You showed him he could find love, actual love, not a woman he'd have to take in a possessed form. He regrets what he did now, but the man was intensely lonely. I know what that's like, you know. Which is why I took an annoying twelve year old on as a partner." He teased and I punched him in the arm.

"Ow! That hurt. But I have a rather wonderful idea. Since we are both up and morning has broken let's grab the kids and take them to our favourite diner. I'm sure Reba would love to meet them, Sean as well." I nodded smiling at the thought of seeing our old friends. They had a little one too, and although he favoured the daddy that wasn't a bad thing in magical communities. Zombie babies after all, are kind of cute.

* * *

The drive was a long one and we told the kids a carefully edited version of meeting Reba first at the diner then on our honeymoon and prepared them for Sean. He was a kind of zombie they'd never seen before and we assured them that even though a torso zombie he got along just fine. Sean wasn't out front of course, as anybody was welcome in the diner mages and non-magical folks alike. But the children were enchanted with being in a place they'd only heard about before.

Cain, having insisted on sitting with his sister was poring over the menu with her. The two were close and I enjoyed seeing them spend time together. Thanks to the necklaces they were able to dress as the wished without the disguises Skulduggery preferred. I wore one now too, mainly so I could keep up with the calorie intake my family craved and still remain fit. Magical necklaces having countless uses. I idly wondered why Skulduggery had taken so long to adopt a necklace, but then I knew the answer. A mage could easily see through the illusion and although he had as much skeletal pride as our offspring he was slow to change.

Though seeing the children eat wherever and whenever they liked had softened him to the point where he was now wore his own necklace tucked under his shirt. I liked the change and realized with a start that it was the first time I'd seen him do it and public. Skulduggery caught my glance and grinned at me. "See something you like, Detective Cain?" He purred.

"Always, Detective Pleasant." I purred back. Reba coming to the table caught the exchange and grinned in delight. We both rose to greet her, and she hugged us both tight, then the children.

"So these are the two young'uns we keep hearing about. Well they are both absolutely perfect. You all don't even have to order I'm going to make you up somethin' special on the house and no arguin'. You saved my sweet Sean from any further decay away from our place, and what you did for the zombies was right decent." She smiled and went to get us coffee.

I looked around and realized the patrons were all from her restaurant and relaxed. This had to be a haven for mages too, I realized. I looked at Reba again as she returned woth our coffee and the fiery redhead winked at me. "Figured it out, did you? I like lettin' the non-magical folks in too, but they won't hear or see nothin' they shouldn't. That's the fun part of bein' an Adept I suppose."

The children looked at us and I looked at Skulduggery. "Reba runs a sort of safe haven for zombies, it's a long story and we may take you there some day, when you're older of course. But that's how she and Sean met and fell in love." He said and the look on my sweet little Val's face was dreamy.

She looked at me then, clearly excited about the idea of marrying somebody someday herself. "Mom, can we marry anyone we want?" She asked and I nodded. Not all mages were accepting but both Skulduggery and I held the view that love was love. It wouldn't matter to us if she married a human, a zombie, or a vampire. Or if her beloved was a man or woman or any other gender for that matter. Just that she was loved and sheltered.

I looked at my children wondering who they would end up with, but there was time enough for that. Our food was arriving and I wished Ye Ye had come with us, but the dragon had a flair for competition and was planning a feast for dinner. The feast laid before us now was a sight to behold.

Baskets of golden fries and plates mounded with burgers with decedent toppings, a plate of hot dogs, still steaming from the grill, a basket of deep fried chicken and all sorts of other diner fare. It wasn't exactly the breakfast of champions, but I wasn't about to complain. It was far too much even with the children and Skulduggery eating and I looked at Reba in surprise. "We'll both be joinin' you and closin' up for a spell." She said.

At her gesture the blinds closed and the door to the diner locked itself. Reba got a chair and Sean joined us from the back. He'd taken to a wheelchair now, feeling that while crawling was fine, wheels were faster and saved him getting irritated from dragging himself everywhere. He hugged as all in greeting, smiling at the children once we'd all settled back in.

Sean was still a disturbing shade of green and so far gone as to be skeletal, but he'd put on a lovely blue plaid workshirt for the occasion and thanks to recent breakthroughs by the Sanctuary doctors he'd stopped rotting and lost the aroma of decay most zombies wore like a badge of pride. He smiled at us happily. "I've been talking to one of your Sanctuary doctors. They think they can get me fixed up with a lower half for walking around, but I made sure they know I want it so I can get in and out. I'm proud to be a torso zombie. But it would be nice to be able to wait on guests." He looked at Reba adoringly and kissed her, drawing happy sounds from the rest of us.

They were the perfect couple. Sean had even reached out to Reba's brother Charles and he was in Ireland now as well, even if he was an utter recluse. He'd been deformed in a magical attack and it had turned him bitter when magical science could do nothing to change his fate. I head a movement from the back and realized he was coming out to join us.

I'd never seen the man before, but the one lock of long red hair that hung down from his head and the sensitive brown eyes showed his kinship to Reba. He was huge, as easily as big as Tesseract, but an unfailingly gentle man when speaking to people. He came over and Skulduggery and I happily slid in to make room for the gentle giant. He smiled softly at the children, drawing a blush and giggle from Val who was clearly smitten.

"Hello." Charles said and she giggled again. "That's a lovely dress you're wearing, young lady. You are Valkyrie, correct?" He asked and she nodded happily. Charles turned his attention to Cain who blushed as well. I wondered if he must be an Adept as well because both children looked smitten with him. "You look quite dashing in your suit, young man. You clearly take after your father." Charles said politely and Cain blushed.

Reba looked over at Charles. "Hon, you're doin' it again. You charmed the kids."

Charles looked slightly shocked, then apologized but Skulduggery wouldn't hear of it. "No need to apologize, Charles. We are both rather dashing men, charming people is simply a cross we must bear."

Charles smiled in relief but it seemed as if he'd done something, pulled back a power because the spell seemed to lift. He was still Charles, but the charm was natural now. He ate with us and I knew from Reba's glance it was a huge step for him. But Charles was so utterly charming with his stories from the war and his other adventures that it was hard to imagine him being a recluse.

He'd fought on the side of Ireland, being one of many Americans to happily go against a Sanctuary they thought was wrong on home soil. It had cost him his humanity, he said, but we were all quick to disagree. Yes, the magical attack had left him with features that looked melted, but the man had a huge heart, and the truth was he wasn't even that unusual for the magical community.

A car pulled up while we were still eating and my mobile rang as the driver got out, his phone to his ear. Jack looked nervous. "Valkyrie? Are you inside? We've caught the man who was behind everythin'. Turned out Tanith was right useful in trackin' him and he had to return to the scene of the crime and everythin'. He's bein' taken to the gaol now."

"Of course we're inside, Jack. Hold on, we'll let you in." I said and Reba nodded and went to the door. Jack doffed his top hat to her and gave her his best smile, which of course was more terrifying than usual. He took the booth in back of us and happily accepted the proffered food.

"Thank you, poppet." He said, after I handed him the plate Val hand put together for him. "Never been to this place before, but them trackin' devices in the mobiles are right useful." He was stretched out and Charles had turned slightly to get a better look at him. Jack touched the brim of his top hat politely to him and _smiled_.

* * *

Although the criminal was caught we'd still finished our meal and visit before driving to the Sanctuary. Now the same stream of people who had invaded the mansion were moving things back and my heart melted for them. They had to be dead tired but they all looked cheerful and alert. Not only did we have the man behind the attacks but his two henchman, or rather hench-androids.

They were machines, but so perfectly mimicking human in appearance that they'd fooled us all with the help of Laura's adept abilities and fake IDs. The mastermind was Laura's brother, Darkling, just recently out of gaol and a man who'd had an intense hatred of Erskine ever since the wedding had been called off. He glared at us in the interrogation room, boldly defiant. "Laura deserves better than that scum, I kept trying to tell her that. Happiest day of my life when she called the wedding off."

"That scum is our friend and the wedding was called off over a lie as I think you well know." Skulduggery growled and Darkling laughed.

"Course it was, and I set up that lie. Amazing what women will do for a little revenge and some money. Got put in the gaol shortly after, but I've seen to it the pair keep apart. Nobody takes my sister from me, ever."

"That's the sickest thing I ever heard." A voice said from the doorway and I turned to see Erskine standing there, Laura beside him. "But you've lost, Darkling. Laura knows the truth now, from your own lips. We are getting married, by the way, you only brought us back together. Well done, that."

Darkling roared in anger and would have went after the couple, but Skulduggery easily held him in place with air manipulation. Laura walked in and slapped her brother, hard. "Do you have and idea the pain you've caused me? And blackmailing me? Your own sister?" There were tears of anger in her eyes. She seemed about to confess, but I held a hand up.

"You committed no crimes, Laura. The only one here who did is your brother who is going away for a very long time on various chagres, your imprisonment included." Darkling paled. To teach his sister a lesson he'd held her in his mansion and forced her to use her abilities for him, knowing of times when she'd used them for the wrong reasons in the past. The man sickened me and it was all I could do not to kill him. We left him screaming about revenge, but then most suspects did that.

* * *

I met with our former bad guys and found Tanith with them, happily chatting with Calamity. That was new. Jack smiled at me, happy to report on the mission, though I did have one question for him. "You could have killed him why didn't you?" I asked and he grinned with wicked delight.

"He will hate bein' in a cage, love. He already had started in on us never takin' him alive, so we did." Jack said grinning. It was good to see the man happy and I figured he and the others deserved a reward.

"Two weeks paid leave for you Jack. You two as well." I said nodding to Billy-Ray and Calamity who grinned in delight. I turned to Tesseract, Thrasher and Scapcegrace. "You'll get your two weeks when they return, but I need you three on duty until then. But go home and get some rest, all of you."

I left them to it, finding a rather amused Skulduggery in Ghastly's office. Ghastly smiled at me. "Tea?" He offered and I nodded. "Looks like a case went our way for once. It's almsot scary." He commented as he made the tea.

"That's what I was thinking, dad, to be honest. I feel like I got hit by a truck. What time is it?"

He laughed, handing me a mug of tea. "That's from stuffing yourself in a diner. Late afternoon. I noticed you made Tanith go with the other detectives at last. Good. She needed to get the chip off her shoulder. I may love the woman but she can hold a grudge." I grinned in reply, wise enough to say nothing. Which was just as well as Tanith breezed into the office, back to her usually bouncy self for the first time in a long time.

"Why don't we girls go out for lunch?" She asked and Calamity strolled in. I looked at Skulduggery who just shrugged then smiled at her.

"Take the van, sweetheart." Ghastly offered and Tanith took the keys with a squeal of delight. When we got outside I saw why.

"Dang, girl." Calamity managed ask she stared at the brand new electric blue van in front of us. The Honda Odyssey was one of the most expensive vans out there and I couldn't believe Ghastly had gotten a new van, let alone one like this.

"Dang is right, when did you get the new van?" I asked in wonder. "Elder calls shotgun." I added as we piled in, Tanith beaming.

"The old one just up and utterly died on us, and I convinced Ghastly to pool our money and splurge. We've got kids to take care of now. Not a Bentley of course, but we manage." She said grinning. "And by the way, thanks for getting us all to go together, I know I'm a bit of a hardcase."

I laughed. "Yeah, but you're also hyperactive and have the maturity of a two-year-old, so there is that." She giggled and bounced in her seat, then turned on the radio and music filled the van. "Oh, I love this song!" She enthused, turning up the radio as "Girls Power" by KARA pounded out of the speakers.

Tanith of course felt the need to dance to the song as well, the van veering slightly from time to time as the streets blurred by. I held onto the dashboard, remembering there was a reason Ghastly always looked so terrified after riding with Tanith. She laughed and drove like an utter lunatic, but it was good to have the old her back. She managed to park halfway on the sidewalk, but we were happy to go into the club she'd picked out and share appetizers while industrial music boomed and pounded in the background.

* * *

When I was at last dropped off at home I headed straight for bed, a very happy Skulduggery joining me. "We men had a lovely time out and Ye Ye will hold dinner until later this evening." He said, snuggling close to me in the darkened bedroom. I realized with a start that I could feel his ribs pressing into me with no suit in between.

He started his happy purring sound then nipped at my neck playfully from behind. I turned to him, enjoying the warmth his bones were radiating back from the close contact and started to stroke his skull, drawing a growl from him. "Mmm, don't you dare stop woman, that feels so wonderful."

"Oh it does, does it?" I asked teasingly.

"Mmm, almost as good as this." He said, then his teeth were on my lips and I wasn't thinking of much of anything else but making that moment last forever.

* * *

 **Wow, shortest case ever. But there shall be more if readers request it.**


	62. Chapter 62

A/N: I don't own Tesseract, Springheeled Jack, Lord Vile, Skulduggery, Valkyrie or Billy-Ray Cain and Valkyrie are both in their 20s and have partners. Chapter will be from Val's point of view, and I mean the daughter not the mother. Guess who she is partners with? I don't speak a word of Russian, so please forgive the errors you'll no doubt find. WARNING: This chapter tends to get a tad violent.

* * *

I sat back with a happy sigh, letting the buttery leather of the heated seat soothe my tired bones. We'd been traveling for hours now in a RV outfitted with everything we'd possibly need. I felt sleepy and happy, safe, secure. Even if we were deep in the spooky woods late at night and bumping over a rutted road.I looked over at my partner and best friend sensing his smile behind his mask. I thought back as I fingered the necklace that projected a human form to mortals about how I'd always known him. About asking my mom the day I turned twelve if I could be partners with him and her saying 'yes'. About all the adventures we'd had ever since then, all the crimes we'd solved and the bad guys we'd caught.

And there were a lot of bad guys. New ones that the old ones still with the Sanctuary had to fight. It made me wonder if Tesseract regretted staying on the side of the good guys. He spoke interrupting my thoughts. "Why are you so worried, Kyrie? Perhaps there is nothing to this case. Besides I am with you."

"I know. I was just thinking Tess." I smiled to myself. We'd gotten closer and I was the only one who could call Tesseract Tess, mainly because he knew it meant Harvester. He was also the only one who dared called me Kyrie since I knew it meant Lord, but it was a short version of my name and I really didn't mind it.

"About?" His warm voice was encouraging and his slight Russian accent sent chills through me.

"About how much has changed. All the new bad guys. I think everyone expected world peace or something when things changed." I replied, trying to avoid hurting his feelings. I plucked nervously at my black blouse and smoothed my jeans, a habit I'd picked up from dad.

"They haven't changed that much, Valkyrie. I still kill people, but now they deserve it." He shrugged and I could sense his grin behind his metal mask. I knew Tesseract scared people, that his red eyes, giant size and relentless pursuit of his targets when he'd been an assassin terrified them. When he'd come back the night my parents fought the cave spirit he'd been slightly more mellow, or so people said.

He pulled over to the side of the road and parked. "This will be a suitable location. We can camp here for the night, perhaps later we can scout ahead. Would you like dinner over a fire tonight, Kyrie?" I nodded. Tesseract had seemed tense and sad the whole trip and I wasn't sure why. Things had changed between us lately, and not for the better.

I felt confused when I was near him. I found myself wanting to impress him, my best friend and partner. I knew I liked him, maybe a little too much. I knew the rumours had to be flying back at the Sanctuary. I'd never went out with any of the young detectives, they never interested me or they only wanted one thing. I knew they thought I was seeing Tess, but I wasn't.

He didn't seem interested. And as much time as we spent together I always got the sense he liked his privacy. Even in the RV he'd installed a screen so we could sleep separated at night, telling me it was respectful. But I liked being able to look over when I couldn't sleep and see his huge form, to see the red eyes that seemed to almost glow watching me. It made me feel safe. Of course Tess slept so lightly he always knew if I was awake and talked with me for hours about anything and everything. He was my best friend, even closer to me than my brother Cain and I adored him for it.

Tesseract insisted on building the fire himself, even though he'd taught me how in case we ever got separated. He even got logs for us both to sit on and put them on opposite sides of the fire then left for more firewood to last through the night. I knew he worried about me, and hoped it would be enough to make it through the case. But it was so hard not telling him how I felt for him and I jumped guiltily when he returned with more wood. I'd forgotten that he moved without making a sound and now I could tell his expression was aghast behind his life-sustaining mask.

"I am so sorry, Valkyrie. I did not wish to startle my little friend." He apologized. I laughed, but at myself, not at him.

"Apology accepted, Tesseract and not your fault. I was wool gathering. I'd say I'm not the little anymore, but I suppose to you most people are." I said and he nodded as he sat.

"Yes. I love being much bigger and stronger, a stereotypical Russian bear. But it makes me strong enough to protect you, which is good. Still most people do seem small to me, fragile."

"We could name you Misha, that might help." I teased and he laughed.

"Da, that would help. Did I just speak russkij jazyk? Russian? Yes I did, twice now. You are a bad influence, Valkyrie Pleasant." He teased and I blushed. I wondered if he could see it because he titled his head slightly and his eyes shone with amusement.

I blushed again. "I think I better get started on dinner." I said, looking for a chance to escape.

"No rush. They are only MREs. I still cannot believe you will eat them with me. Even ex-soldiers avoid them." I knew what he really meant. He could believe I ate with him wearing the specialized mask that let him eat. It had a hinged jaw and was Dr. Doom scary to most people, but it had never bothered me. I had a hinged jaw and as a skeleton I _terrified_ most people.

"Tesseract, why aren't you afraid of me?" I asked suddenly and he sat up in surprise.

"Why should I be? You would never hurt me. Besides, there is nothing scary about you, Kyrie. You have a very sweet face." He said and I purred in response then put a hand to my mouth. I wasn't sure how I even made the happy sound but dad and Cain could do it as well.

"That is sweet, you remind me of Cat. You know, maybe it is time for me to get a new cat. What do you think?" He asked, tilting his head curiously.

"A sweet little girl cat would be nice." I admitted and he smiled.

"Yes it would, to keep me company when you are not around. That way you do not worry about your Russian bear so much, da?" He looked away, clearly embarrassed he was slipping back into Russian again.

"Tess, I think you're homesick. You must miss your country so much."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Perhaps. But I feel at home with you, Valkyrie. I can relax not be so careful. Ya lyublyu tyebya, Kryie." _I love you._ He said, then looked away again, his whole body tense. They were the words I'd been longing to hear from him, even though I knew he'd pretend he'd forgotten what they meant. It was a good thing the only other Russian phrase I'd ever bothered to learn was the response.

"Ya tozhe tyebya lyublyu, Tess." I said softly. _I love you too._ Then we were both standing, looking at each other. Tesseract approached me slowly, seeming unsure of himself. "But I'm a monster, Valkyrie. Behind this mask, there is nothing." He touched his mask sadly.

"Behind your mask is the man I love." I said, daring to wrap my bony arms around his neck and thanking the heavens above I'd grown to be tall like my parents.

"But I cannot kiss you." He said helplessly, his strong arms gently enfolding me.

"Yes you can." I whispered, then tilted my head slightly to touch my teeth to the mouth of his mask. Tesseract met my kiss, pressing forward ever so gently and the sensation was wonderful. I could feel the cool metal beneath my teeth, but I could also feel Tesseract responding behind it, doing all he could to make me feel the love he had for me.

Then we were parting and he was smiling. I knew he was. "I love you so much, Kyrie. I have wanted to tell you for some time but-" He shrugged.

"You didn't think I'd feel the same way?" I asked gently and he nodded, smiling again. "We should have both been a little braver, I guess. I love you so much, Tess. But I didn't think you were interested in me. Dumb question, but you do realize I'm a skeleton, right?"

"Yes, Valkyrie. You're necklace has never worked on me. I choose to see the real you. You are much prettier than any illusion. Now come, we will pick out dinner together." He said taking my hand and I followed him back into the RV. Tesseract took me into his arms again inside, kissing me gently. He pulled back to rest his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. "You are the most wonderful partner and best friend I could have ever wished for. You are also the woman I am in love with. I hope you know that." He said.

"And you're the man I love, Tess. I'm so happy to be here with you, my best friend, my partner. I can never remember a time you weren't there for me. I love you." We picked dinner and Tesseract changed into the mask he wore to eat in front of me for the first time.

I watched as he undid the straps of his mask, then looked at me. "You are sure?" He asked holding the mask in place with one hand and I nodded. He changed masks swiftly, something he needed to do to preserve his life, but I saw his face for the first time and my heart melted. Tesseract suffered from a disease of magical origin that had eaten away his face and would claim his life in minutes if he wasn't wearing a mask. The metal masks injected the drugs that kept the ravaging disease under control and although our best doctors had worked with him there was no cure. Yet.

"I love you Tess, to me you're still the most handsome man in the world." I said and I could sense his delighted grin as he finished strapping the mask into place.

"You make me very happy, Kyrie. My sweet skeleton, my wonderful woman and friend." He replied, leading me back outside gently. We sat together on one of the logs and I was excited to be that close to him.

"Tess, what made you come back?" I asked as we put our entrees into the heating pouches with heaters and added water to activate them.

He shrugged slightly. "I wanted to. I had never found a companion before. Never someone beside my poor little Cat who wanted to be close to me. Perhaps too I wanted a chance to fight the evil that threatened the world. I am not a heartless man. I saw how things were."

"That was brave of you, Tess. I don't know if I could be that brave."

"Mmm. I fought mostly zombies and all these drugs give me immunity. But do not see me as a hero, katyonak. I also wanted a chance to live once more, to use my powers again." I could sense his grin. As a skeleton Tesseract's adept powers of bonebreaker frightened me when I'd first learned about them. With the slightest touch of his fingertips he could shatter bones. But I was happy he had them now, being none too far from the criminals we were seeking.

I knew I should be thinking about the case, but with Tess beside me now all I could think about was him as we prepared our MREs. I loved Tess and trusted him because of his honesty. Although everyone else, my parents included had been vague at what our former bad guys had done, he hadn't. Not many years into our partnership he told me exactly what kind of people they had been and still were. Exactly the kind of person he was.

Then he'd held me as I cried. He'd understood my tears. How hard it was for my to think that the people I loved and cared about, my parents and the former bad guys had tried to kill one another at one time. That Tess himself had tried to kill my parents and that Vile had killed him was simply too much for me.

Tess had rocked me, and as I recalled sang something to me in Russian. That had quieted me because I'd never heard him speak Russian before or since then. Not until now. The thought that this could be the case where I lost him made me shiver. Tess noticed and put an arm around me, drawing me closer. "Are you cold, Kyrie? I can get you a blanket."

I cuddled in close, burying my head in his broad chest before responding. "No, Tess, I'm just worried. I get afraid that I'm going to loose you on every case, you know I do. I love you so much, Tess, but it is more than that. You've died before-" I trailed off helplessly and he nuzzled me affectionately.

"I fear loosing you and every case as well, katyonak."

"Katyonak?"

"Little cat, kitten." He replied with a smile, drawing me into his lap. "You are cuddly and sweet like a kitten." He said and I purred again, unable to help myself. Tess laughed softly, kissing the top of my skull. I felt him gearing up for another kiss with me when my mobile rang. I checked and saw Cain was calling. "Go on, answer, my little friend." Tess encouraged, shooing me from his lap so he could add the heated entrees to our plates.

"Hey, big bro, what's up?" I asked and Cain purred in response. I giggled. We had been born at separate times but we often acted more like twins and he seemed to be sharing my good mood.

"I'm taking Melody out for dinner tonight, and God, she looks amazing, sis. I know it is really soon, but, well, I think she's the one for me. Oh, she's coming back gotta go." He hung up and I smiled to myself. I thought it was wonderful that he had Melody. True, people had finally figured out she'd been claiming to be in her twenties since she fought in the Sanctuary war decades before we were born, but she was extremely wonderful to know. I was happy she and Cain were in love and couldn't wait to see what happened next for them.

"Thank you, Tess." I said accepting my plate. "That was Cain, he's taking Melody out tonight." I said happily.

"That is wonderful news, Kyrie. They were both so lonely, so sad at times, they seem happy now. It is also good for him to have someone older. I know it bothered him she lied about it, but well, many mages do not like to admit our ages."

I nodded. "The best you've ever told me is 'older than you'. But I understand, Tesseract, I really do. It might seem silly to you but I already feel old in my twenties. I'll never be a teenager again and I miss that."

"Da, but youth is not everything, my sweet Kyrie. You have blossomed into a beautiful young lady. Besides, you are still very young. There are things older than you. Dirt, for example." He teased and I swatted him one. He laughed, his red eyes shining with mischief.

* * *

I hadn't wanted this case from the moment we had gotten the file. Two magical serial killers was all we needed. I thought the sensible thing would have been to sent in a team of Cleavers and maybe some hired Rippers, but the Sanctuary was sadly understaffed. We'd lost several of our detectives and nobody would explain why. I'd been heartbroken when Springheeled Jack had left suddenly. He was my brother's best friend and one of mine as well. Most of the people at the Sanctuary had grown to like him as he was always friendly and he had found a home there. But he'd given notice one day and never returned.

After him Billy-Ray and Calamity had left as well, taking their family back to America. At first I had thought it was homesickness, but the more I thought about it that didn't seem right. They'd all seemed ashamed of themselves shortly before they left and I hoped someone hadn't made them feel that way to make them leave. We could have used Jack right then. Twenty young men and women dead, most likely more. Two known suspects and we actually knew nothing about them. No prior crimes, no escalating violence. Just a sudden blossoming into killers. Usually killers, especially serial killers, had reasons.

The victim represented someone. A mother, a lover, an ex-spouse and they killed him or her over and over. But these killers hunted as a team and killed both men and women with no regard to race, exact age or anything else. We could find no ties that linked the victims, no prior relationships to the killers that we knew of.

And we knew almost nothing of them. One called himself Mr. Rictus and the other called himself Mr. Shroud. They favoured straight razors like Billy-Ray's. They were violent, unbalanced, and rather lucky the Sanctuary was stretched so thin. Tesseract frowned at me. He knew me well enough to follow my thoughts. "They are only two men, my sweet Kyrie. We will find them and we will stop them. For a woman who can command Lord Vile's armour you worry too much." He was teasing, trying to make me smile and it worked.

"You're right, I can, can't I? I keep forgetting dad passed it down to us. I guess because I haven't seen him in ages. He and mom are always on the go."

"That and you moved into Gordon's mansion a while ago."

"True, but I wanted to be on my own like mom was at my age. And Cain was already there. I don't think dad has forgiven us yet for moving out. He wanted us to be a team. I think I broke his heart the day I asked mom if I could be your partner. I was scared you wouldn't want me, you know?" Tesseract took me in his arms. Our meals were finished and soon we'd go out scouting, trying to find out exactly how the bad guys came and went. What nobody could understand was how they got healthy people, magical people so easily. It was suspected they used magic to subdue victims, so Tess and I were on high alert.

I knew if he were alone he'd just have hunted them down and either subdued or killed them. I turned to him. "I'd feel a lot better if you, if we, just hunted these men like you used to." I said and he nodded.

"I intend to, Kyrie. I suspect we are not overly far from their lair. They will either come to us," he paused and I knew he was smiling, "or we will hunt them down. If they resist, if they refuse to be taken alive I will most happily kill them. And you of course will look away if I tell you to. Agreed?" I nodded. I could here the artic tone of an assassin creeping back into his voice, the hired killer whose record was flawless as far as I knew. The killers I knew, wouldn't stand a chance against him.

* * *

Hours later we'd cleaned up after ourselves and were walking, well, striding through the woods at a steady pace. Tesseract had gone into his hunting mode and was no longer speaking. Just walking, with that long stride that ate up ground so quickly and that he never seemed to tire from.

His boots made a menacing sound as he walked and in his dusty long black coat and armed with his knives he looked like something out a nightmare, or would to the killers. He'd also upgraded to a wicked-looking machete, and had laughed hysterically when he'd shown it to me before we left the RV. Tess had a strange sense of humour and he found being armed with the weapon and wearing a mask endlessly amusing, where I'd been afraid it would hurt his feelings.

Now as I walked beside or sometimes followed the big man where the path became thin I couldn't help but smile to myself. I of course wanted in on this hunt as badly as he did. The thought of tossing the bad guys around by his side made me so happy that my armour flowed over me. Or at least I hoped it was happy and not a danger signal. Like mom's it came on when I needed protection.

I touched Tess softly and he looked over at me and nodded. We slowed slightly, his steps falling silent. I started to gather shadows. I could feel the killers were near. We'd never figured out how they got the jump on people but were about to first hand. There was a sound of something releasing and Tesseract's hand shot out, catching an arrow before it hit me.

I lashed out with my shadows finding nothing and the big man got a tighter grip on his machete. Then they stepped into view. Mr. Rictus and Mr. Shroud. They looked inhuman with black eyes, rather pale skin and dressed all in black. They're hands ended in nails that looked like talons and when they smiled the reveal mouthfuls of sharp teeth. Gists. Gist having taken over their hosts, the victim's trapped forever inside. I shivered, hoping Anton never met the same fate.

The one in the bowler hat doffed it to me, smiling evilly. "Good evening, madam. I am Mr. Rictus. This is Mr. Shroud. We're here to kill you. Nothing personal, you know. It just make us hap-" Tesseract had moved to fast for me to follow and the headless body of Mr. Rictus slumped to the ground. Shroud laughed.

"He always did talk too much." He said, backing away steadily. Tess stayed still, watching as Shroud backed all the way into a tree with a grunt of surprise. Tess moved again and Shroud was pinned by the neck to the tree with one of his bigger knives. Shroud tried to look down, to remove it, but it was firmly wedged it the tree. Shroud gave one last gasping gurgle and died.

Tess got the knife letting the body fall to the ground. I knew we couldn't leave them where mortals could find them and watched as he heaved Mr. Rictus up on one shoulder taking the head in his free hand. I picked up Mr. Shroud without a word, then stepped close. "Let me shadow-walk us back?" I offered and Tess smiled for the first time and nodded. I massed my shadows and we were back at the campsite.

Tess drew out a tarp and put the bodies and head on it, then added a magical powder I'd never seen before. The bodies and head turned to ash and blew away. I looked at him, impressed. "You're amazing, do you know that?" I asked and he smiled shyly.

"I thought perhaps I would scare my little friend away." He said softly, his red eyes reflecting back the firelight as he approached. "I have never wished to frighten you, Kyrie." He said reaching up a hand to touch my cheekbone. I closed what passed for my eyes to the sensation. When I opened them he was wrapping his strong arms around me and cradling me into him gently.

"I love you Tess, and it was wonderful seeing you in action as always. I still remember the flying lessons you gave to a Sanctuary doctor. Straight down and through a window you didn't bother to open first." I said with a laugh.

"He shouldn't have suggested that my darling Kyrie needed a full body facade. I love her for who she is, I'm in love with her for who she is. My most beautiful woman and sweetest skeleton." He said, his voice trembling with emotion.

He kissed me again and I was more than happy to return the kiss. When we at last parted he walked me back into the RV for the night, making sure to lock up securely before he called the Sanctuary to give a report. I laid down on my bed that was tucked into the wall of the RV in a sort of cubby hole and Tesseract drew the screen closed. I wished I was the kind of girl brave enough to ask him to leave it open, but I didn't want to seem needy or clingy.

"Kyrie? Are you all right?" Tesseract's voice drifted over to me.

"Fine Tess." I lied, trying to stop the tremors that were making my bones rattle softly. The screen was pulled back and Tess lifted me up and carried me to his much larger bunk. He got in first and cradled me into him.

"Hush, it is all right, my sweet Kyrie. You fought very bravely and I must have scared you. I'm sorry for that. I would never willingly hurt you, ever." He said, holding me while he stroked my skull softly.

"It wasn't that, Tess. Those me terrified me. I didn't know a gist could become a person like that. Then for them to become so evil."

"Da. That is the evil part of the men who they once were. It took over and now the good is trapped inside forever, if it is even there. Tomorrow we must try and locate their compound. If there are other victims they deserve a decent burial and to be acknowledged."

"I know and somehow that will be the best part of this case, getting to help them find peace. Well dad would say they are past caring but-"

"But you know that isn't so. How else did I and the others come back?"

"Good point." I turned around so I could see him. His metal mask and red eyes may have frightened some people, but I needed to see my best friend. "I'm glad you came back, you know. You are staying with the Sanctuary, aren't you, Tess?"

"Of course I am, Kyrie. I cannot say why the others left. Perhaps they were homesick or felt it was time to move on. The world has changed so much since you were little. But you know if Cain reached out to Jack and you both reached out to Billy-Ray and Calamity I think they would both return.

"I'd love that, Tess. I think someone ran them off and I miss then, I want them back." Tess cupped my chin and kissed me softly in response.

"Then we shall go find them if the Sanctuary will let us. But let's get some sleep for now. Morning will be here soon enough." Tess laid on his back and I snuggled into him. I trusted him to be a gentleman and being with him made me feel safer.

* * *

Early the next morning we located the place the gists had been hiding in and several more victims and called for vans. Tesseract mentioned my plan to whomever he was speaking to, and rang off smiling. "Erskine says we are free to go search, little one. But first a lesisurely drive back for us, nyet? We have earned that much."

I nodded happily and got in, Tess helping me up and I could see by his eyes that he felt rather smitten with me. I smiled, blushing, and he laughed. He could read me then, like I read him. I wondered if it meant we were meant to be, but tried not to worry about it too much as we started out journey home as a couple.

* * *

Translations:

Misha: Name of a teddy bear hero in Russian children's books, means bear, masculine

russkij jazyk: Russian

Da: Yes

Ya lyublyu tyebya: I love you

Ya tozhe tyebya lyublyu: I love you too

Katyonak: little cat, kitten a pet name for a girl or woman

Nyet: No

* * *

 **Yeah, I know Tesseract never speaks Russian in the novels. But it just seemed to fit him being more relaxed with Kyrie. I swear it will never happen again. Bad writer, bad. If you want a certain character to have the point of view in a future chapter let me know and I'll see if I can make it happen. I'll get back to the Valduggery next chapter but I hope you enjoyed it and feedback helps much!**


	63. Chapter 63

AN: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Tanith, Ghastly, Vile, Darquesse, Anton, Dexter or Saracen. Story is back in Val's POV and takes place after the last chapter so Val is in her 40s or 50s. Scary, huh? A few readers wanted more spice so be warned the chapter might go a bit limish. Well a lot limish. Sorry this chapter got a bit long.

* * *

I awoke when it was still dark to the feeling of skeletal fingertips in leather gloves being run up and down my arm ever so slowly. As I became more alert I could feel Skulduggery's body pressed into mine from behind, his ribs teasing me and making me ache to turn around even through our clothes. I shivered at the pleasure of the sensation and felt his breath along my neck, then his nasal cavity was pressed there firmly and he drew in air, getting a gasp of delighted pleasure from me.

I turned all too happily in his arms, feeling my desire for him surging to the surface as my lips found his teeth and I pulled him into a searing kiss. Skulduggery growled in pleasure and I started to caress his skull, making his growls go deeper. Then I was pulling my lips away from his teeth to place fevered kisses along his jawline, in a way that made him gasp.

My eyes were adjusting to the dimly lit room now, and I easily shifted Skulduggery onto his back as I admired the look of helpless desire on his face. I drug my teeth along his jawline, eliciting another pleasured gasp, then he was placing heated kisses on my neck, nipping in between, making me cry out in pleasure.

Skulduggery drew back and grinned up at me. "Good morning, Valkyrie. We have an early start ahead of us. Though we do have a while yet before we need to get ready." He murmured. Then he was flipping me over, and his teeth found my lips, he opened them and I obliged him, exploring his teeth and maxilla with tender care, feeling my heart overflow at the soft gasps and cries the gesture still drew from him.

Then he was answering my explorations, his own velvety tongue of shadows exploring and tasting, the gesture infinitely tender. He cradled my head with a gloved hand and sighed as we continued the kiss, my hands caressing my beloved husband's skull. Then he was pulling away and at his gesture the lights came on. I blinked and groaned.

"What time is it?" I asked, trying to shield my eyes the best I could.

"Four AM. But you and I my dear have a very long trip ahead of us and I wanted to get an early start." He purred and I smiled up at him. Skulduggery clambered off me at last and drew me tenderly with him, bringing me into a chaste kiss his gloved hands holding mine. Then his arms were around me and there was nothing chaste about the kiss. Skulduggery drew back at last to press his forehead into mine. "Do you know how much I love you, Valkyrie Cain?" He asked, his velvety voice making my insides shiver in delight.

"I do now. And do you know how much I adore you, Skulduggery Pleasant?" I asked gazing deep into his hollow eye sockets, feeling his gaze meet mine and falling into those bottomless depths as I always did. I heard his pleased murmur in reply, then he tilted his head at me.

"A shower for you, my dear. Our bags are already packed and in the Bentley. I will make coffee to take with us. Off with you then." He said, giving me another kiss. I went happily to my shower wishing we had more time so I could coax him in with me, but then we would have never finished getting ready. Skulduggery had been giving hints late the night before he was up to something, but I had no idea what.

I'd already noticed he had on a crisp, clean suit and his cologne had smelled as heady as it always did. Thinking of his mixed scents of wool, bone and cologne I got out and toweled off, leaving my hair damp. I knew very well he wouldn't be able to resist drying my hair and I grinned wickedly, thinking of all the times I'd him dry me off instead of toweling off. The things I'd put the poor man through. Skeleton. Whatever.

When I got downstairs Skulduggery must have been thinking the same thing. "What a naughty detective you are, leaving your hair damp like that." He murmured as he approached his fedora tilted down rakishly over one eye. Then he was manipulating the water out of my hair, leaving it full of body like he always did. Skulduggery ran his hands through my hair, grabbing handfuls and inhaling my scent deeply. "God, I've missed doing this. You smell so good." He murmured.

"So do you." I purred, burying my face in his neck to breath in his heavenly scent. Skulduggery's arms tightened around me, his hands starting to roam, but then he was gently pushing me away and tilting his head to two silver travel mugs.

"Our sustenance until we stop for a bite to eat. I've noticed you haven't asked where we are going." He said, clearly amused but also curious.

"I want it to be a surprise. Like our honeymoon was." I said, grabbing my coffee and following Skulduggery to the door, which he opened with a courtly gesture for me. We walked to the Bentley arm in arm, a gesture I never recalled him making before. He got the door for the Bentley as well and I was so very happy he'd taken to his necklace. I saw through the illusion easily and his skull shining in the light of the full moon took my breath away.

Skulduggery was extremely handsome by moonlight and he knew it if the wicked grin of delight that appeared on his skeletal features after he briefly kissed me told me anything. I got in and got his door and he murmured his thanks when getting in. "Seatbelt. I'm glad you enjoyed our honeymoon so much, Valkyrie. Because we're going on it all over again." He said grinning broadly at me as he switched on the radio.

"That's wonderful, Skulduggery!" I said happily. "How on Earth did you manage to get us the time off?"

"We are Elders, remember? And Erskine meant it when he said we had no rules. Ghastly has taken Tanith off as well. Do you realize it has been decades since any of us went on vacation? Well we had the kids on trips, but that's what I mean. I feel like a young man again." He said happily and grinned over at me.

"You are a young man, Skulduggery."

"Skeleton."

"Very well, skeleton. You know, I think people at the Sanctuary are starting to notice I don't age, even for a sorcerer."

"Mm, I had noticed. You're doing it for me, aren't you? Choosing to stay, to not age so I'm never alone. That's sweet of you, Valkyrie." He said softly.

I smiled over at him in reply. "Of course I am. It is one of the few things I enjoy about being Darquesse. Do you think I ever want you alone, ever? It surprised me at first to realize I didn't have to age like most people, but then _you_ never age either."

"Good point, I don't suppose you recognize what is playing." He cocked his head slightly to the radio and I smiled. Skulduggery was very good at evading overly emotional times and I was more than willing to let him.

"It's "Mmm Hmm" with James Moody on flute."

"Very good! Whoever taught you to have such good taste in music? That's right, me." Skulduggery preened and I laughed. I loved his ego most of the time. It left him truly puzzled when people didn't instantly adore him, since Skulduggery could think of no one quite so wonderful as himself. He didn't do it in a bad way, of course. I reminded myself as I sipped my coffee. Then he startled me by speaking. "I'd always wanted to ask you to remain by my side, but- You know as the centuries pass-"

"I know." I said softly. "But we'll make new friends, Skulduggery. We're both eternally young and fighting bad guys forever, or nearly that by your side sounds amazing. Besides those kids of ours aren't going to age any more than we do."

"And they just happened to pick out lovers that don't age." He mused. "I'm glad of it. I never had the heart to tell them everyone we know will be gone one day. Lord, listen to us. We are free at last to go where we please and mourning the future like a pair of old biddies. Enough of that, how about some breakfast?" He asked pulling into a strange eatery we'd never been to before.

"Sounds wonderful, but I don't remember this place." I confessed.

"Well we aren't starting from Ghastly's so a different stop first. You'll like this place, I think. Let me get your door?" He asked hopefully and I nodded. We were getting a fresh start, getting to take time for the things that with cases and work had fallen by the wayside.

When Skulduggery drew me into a searing kiss as he helped me out I knew he was thinking the same thing. It felt so good to feel his hands on my waist again, to feel the way his teeth seemed to mold themselves into my lips. I wanted to take the kiss deeper, to delve into him as I hadn't into far too long but he pulled back with a smug grin. "What happened to the wife who didn't believe in PDAs?" He asked, clearly amused as he walked me in, holding the door to the eatery for me.

"Mm. That rule went by the wayside, at least for the day. I feel like we've been given a second chance." I said, remembering that we had been.

"We were. I remember it too, Valkyrie. Had I not thought my mobile was ringing and pulled off the tracks-" He shivered slightly then grinned at me cheerfully as we snagged a booth by the window. "The important thing to remember is I would have looked _fabulous_ in my coffin." He teased. I laughed unwilling to scold him.

We looked at our menus and Skulduggery grinned over at me. "Look, Valkyrie. They're running a special on the burger and fries platters. Bottomless sodas and fries with unlimited burgers. All we can eat. Would my most beautiful and loyal combat accessory care to join me in getting our money's worth?" There was a hopeful note in his voice and I nodded happily. Skulduggery made one of his happy chirrups. That was one of the things I adored about Skulduggery. As elegant as his suits and Bentley were he would eat just about anything especially if it was tasty and cheap.

I relaxed into Skulduggery's side and he looped a bony arm around me after we'd placed our order and our Cokes had arrived. "It has been way too long since we've done something like this." I said happily.

"Indeed it has. I hate to sound like a terrible father, but I'm glad the kids are raised and we're on our own again. Promise me those are the last of them. I intend to get back to enjoying my wife full time now." He purred nuzzling me briefly.

"Deal. Ah, refills. I like this place, how did you find it?" I asked.

"Oh, I have my ways. Ah, here are the platters, you first, my dear." Skulduggery said, waiting for me to try the burger. It was heavenly as were the fries and we both polished off several platters as we enjoyed the sight of the sun starting to rise. When we left I was fairly sure the first thing the owner would do was cancel the special but we were content. I was also very sleepy and soon drifted off under the blanket Skulduggery put over me to dream sweet dreams of our future life together.

* * *

Skulduggery shook me awake and I recognized the first stop we'd made to change out of our clothes. He parked the Bentley and reached over for me, drawing me into a passionate kiss. His teeth met my lips firmly then were opening so he could apply gentle pressure above and below my mouth. Then he was greedily exploring my mouth, growling in pleasure as his hat got knocked off and I gripped his skull to return his attentions. I was working his maxilla repeatedly when I felt the blanket slither off and his gloved hands worked at my jacket zipper as he managed to clamber over to my side of the car and I lowered my seat to happily give him access.

He pulled my jacket zipper down ever so slowly, following the path of the zipper with heated kisses and nips that drew helpless cries from me and I happily rewarded him with caresses of his skull murmuring his name repeatedly. I was giving gasps of pleasure as his restless hands caressed my body, and I had just started to get him out of his suit jacket when he came to lay flush on top of me when I sensed we had an audience. I looked over Skulduggery's shoulder to find a young family was looking at us, clearly appalled. I just grinned at them and Skulduggery grunted in disgust. "I don't remember asking for an audience." He grumbled.

We got out and stretched before heading into the stop to stretch our legs and get some coffee and snacks. The family avoided us and left quickly, making us both laugh. The day was so warm I'd left my jacket off and we took our time walking back to the car. "You know, we probably scarred those children for life." I said with a happy grin and Skulduggery laughed.

"Didn't we just? Serves them right for spying on an innocent couple." He purred leaning in to nuzzle me again before he walked me back to the Bentley an arm wrapped lovingly around me. I realized then he truly felt younger than he had in a long time. We were, after all, together again, just the two of us as it was always meant to be. So I didn't mind feeding him as he drove, even though he was perfectly capable of feeding himself.

We passed the time quickly and had soon crossed the border with no trouble. Skulduggery looked at me, tilting his head endearingly after I'd broken up a candy bar and patiently fed him. "You know I don't thank you nearly enough for being such a loving wife. It's so wonderful that your feeding me again like this. I don't expect it all the time, but it does bring back wonderful memories. Thank you, and I mean that." He said gently.

"You're welcome, and I love you too, Skulduggery." I said since we both knew it was what he'd really meant. He blushed slightly and made a strange half purr half chirrup sound.

"You always were braver than me. But you know how I get about emotions."

"I know I'm the same way. Expect with anger, we're both wonderful at expressing anger." I said fondly.

"Yes but you'll have to admit I sulk better than you." He said proudly.

"That you do and I'm thankful our daughter takes after you, it makes me not worry about her. She growls like you too. I still remember how cute they were as babies, those tiny growls and wee suits of armour."

Skulduggery snorted. "Yes, it was really adorable when Val used to bite people. I'm thankful the sweeter side of her nature took over. Of course _I_ bite people so I see where she gets it from."

I looked at him in surprise. "Since when do you bite people?"

"I haven't done it in front of you, but trust me young men bite when they fight, especially their brothers. We gouge out eyes too or at least try to. We were wild as children." He said fondly.

"That explains you wrestling Cain on the carpet and teaching both our kids to fight dirty. Thank you for that." I said leaning over to kiss him gently.

"You're more than welcome, Valkyrie. Though some of the ways you taught my sweet daughter to fight make me shiver. Women are absolutely vicious with knives. I never taught you to fight like that."

"Tanith."

"Ah. That explains the dirty street fighting as well. We have such peaceful discussions don't we?" He asked, clearly amused as we pulled up to Reba's roadside restaurant slash zombie haven.

"We don't live in a peaceful world, Detective Pleasant." I said, tapping the sign about zombie attacks as we entered. Surprisingly Reba was there as was Sean. They both greeted us warmly then led us to the booth we'd sat in all those years ago.

The place was just like I remembered, only since it was daytime most of the zombies were slumbering peacefully underground or off relaxing in the warren of rooms Reba explained they had beneath the restaurant. Skulduggery of course was teasing me with the barest brush of his ribs and I remember him doing it that night so long ago.

He kissed me tenderly as he ran his gloved fingers through my hair and I realized I'd never get enough of him. I'd always want one more kiss, one more caress. I was looking into his eye sockets all too willingly getting lost in them when Reba brought our coffee and shot us an amused look. "I'm making you what you had the night you came in. Steaks will all the trimmings and then some. It does us good to see another couple still so much in love. Well, I'll be back and the meal is on the house and don't you two argue with me." She said happily.

"You know, Reba, we're retired as Elders now, so buttering us up does you no good." Skulduggery said, amused, which was news to me. She laughed and walked off then he turned to me. "So is Ghastly and don't worry we have fine replacements. A few good men we both know are looking to settle down into more sedate jobs so they are welcome to them." He purred happily.

"But who?" I asked in wonder.

"Saracen for one and Dexter for another. I know, I know they don't seem like good Elder material but they will be, Valkyrie. We've been at it far too long. Besides the Dead Men are coming home to roost." Skulduggery said, leaning in to kiss me softly.

"You had a lot to do with this, didn't you?" I asked, amused when we at last parted.

"Perhaps, but honestly Ghastly deserves all the credit he'd been trying to get us all replaced before we got married. None of us were ever really suited to that work and Cain and I almost lost you to it." He said softly.

"I remember." I said caressing his skull then looking down at our entwined hands. We both still wore our engagement rings and not just because Vile had made them Necromancer's rings. They reminded us that we had bonded, in the here and now with Skulduggery as a skeleton. And that that bond was complete. We wore our wedding bands as well, silver bands with skull motifs and of course they looked exactly like Skulduggery, but I didn't mind in the least. I treasured my husband and I knew every day every second at his side was a gift. Our meals came and I happily fed him as I has so long ago, Skulduggery purring and making happy chirrups as he blinked at me in utter adoration.

Then he took me by surprise as he always did. "Your turn." He said said, feeding me the choicest morsels from his plate that he'd saved for me. I was utterly touched and I knew he's changed dramatically just to be with me. When Reba also surprised us with dessert he fed me as tenderly as I fed him. "We never did get a wedding cake, but this is much nicer, don't you agree?" He asked as we finished the decadent chocolate bombe.

I nodded happily content to linger with him over our coffee, then we were making our goodbyes and Skulduggery treated me to an absolute leer when we got in the Bentley. "We have, if you recall, one more rest stop then our destination for what will end up being the night. Do you remember the house in the woods?" He purred, teasingly.

"Yes, and I remember us falling asleep there too." I said amused.

"Well, this time we have almost two weeks there, and I don't intend to let you fall asleep our first night there. Cam and Fia will already have put another of those wonderful baskets in our room. So I suggest we eat in for the night if that is all right with you?" He asked hopefully. I nodded, hardly able to await our arrival.

* * *

Pulling up to the stone house in the gathering dusk brought back a flood of memories. I could see from the lit windows that a fire had been laid for us and I welcomed the warmth in the cool woods. Skulduggery got my door and escorted me to the house, opening the door with a gesture. He scooped me up before I could walk in and carried me over the threshold. "My beloved bride." He purred, setting me down gently.

Skulduggery drew me into his arms, gesturing the door closed, then was walking me backwards with an intense kiss his teeth firmly on my lips. He opened them seeking to explore and I gave in all too willingly as I felt us tumble slowly backwards into the bed. Skulduggery growled in pleasure as his hat got knocked off and I gasped in pleasure as his gloved hands roamed up under my shirt.

I opened his suit jacket, all too happy to explore the bones of his flawless ribcage through his shirt, using his tie to pull him closer still. Skulduggery groaned helplessly, then was shrugging out of his jacket, letting it fall to the floor. We'd both kicked our shoes off and I touched his feet with mine, a gesture that drew a small gasp of desire from him, since he could never get enough of his bones being touched.

Suddenly he was pulling back and grinning at me. "Dinner first, then we can make love all night long if we desire. And I know I desire." He said happily. "Wait here, Valkyrie. I'll get the bags. I've also got a surprise for you." He purred before reclaiming his shoes and fetching the bags. I looked around the snug cottage. It hadn't changed from what I remembered. There was the wonderful gift basket brimming with treats related to blessing a married life set on the rustic table, the same charming fireplace the same door to what was still the world's smallest bath.

But it was a wonderful place all the same and I turned on the small radio softly and had music playing by the time Skulduggery returned. He grinned at me as he set down the bags and closed and locked the door with a gesture. "You waited for me, O, best of wives? Thank you." He said, truly happy and relaxed. He came over and I handed him the card which we read together, Skulduggery's arm looped lovingly around me. We were welcomed back and congratulated on over two decades of wedded bliss and it made my eyes mist up to read it because they had been blissful.

We took our time with the dinner, Skulduggery once again showing me how to use the teapot over the peat fire, and helping me set out plates for both of us of smoked salmon, local bread, sirloin haggis and all other sorts of truly thoughtful foods. We put some of the honey in our tea and Skulduggery smiled to see the blanket, the twin to the one in the Bentley only in blue plaid not red. He wrapped us in it and we fed each other, marveling over the thoughtfulness of our hosts. "We have to have them down sometime in return, Skulduggery. How about something like the Christmas celebrations at the Sanctuary if they can get away?" I asked and he nodded happily.

We knew after all how truly gracious they were as hosts. As much as we both loved Anton he'd have dissolved into helpless hysterics had guests asked for gift baskets or any other amenities for that matter. The man was friendly and we were always welcome in the Midnight Hotel but this was much nicer. Skulduggery seemed to be thinking of him as well. "Anton wanted something like this you know. He just hasn't found his helpmate yet. When he does he'd planned on this. I think his guests would like it, much more personal."

"He's had to have been in love, Skulduggery. Who got away?"

Skulduggery sighed. "I don't know. I truly don't. He's friendly yet he keeps to himself, if she or he is out there he's never said. Still, I pity the man."

"You know some people do _enjoy_ being alone." I said gently and he nodded.

"I did at one time." He admitted. "Then I got this really annoying partner." He teased but went on cupping my face in his now ungloved hands. "And I realized I'd do anything to keep her by my side. That's when I knew being alone for me was over. It has never bothered you has it? My falling in love with you after meeting you at such a young age?"

"Were you in love with me when I was twelve?"

"Lord no!"

"Then don't worry about it. Look at Ghastly and Tanith. They have an age gap too and don't go telling me it doesn't bother some people. You know I've been seriously tempted to stop them from aging too, but it wouldn't be fair, would it?"

"No, I suppose not. But then again, we could offer, couldn't we? Though if they accepted you know we'd all have to leave the Sanctuary at some point. Even mages get desperate to live forever."

"That would be centuries from now. But enough of that. Do I see actual mincemeat tarts, with custard?" I asked, all too happy to serve the tiny desserts to Skulduggery laden with cream and accept the same offerings from him. I dabbed cream on a finger and held it out to him, a wicked grin of delight on my face.

Skulduggery gave a low rumble of desire then opened his jaws allowing me to dab it on his maxilla. He closed his teeth in a sensual gesture, holding my finger there and I swear he winked at me. "Your turn." He said, his voice husky and held out a skeletal finger dipped in cream. I took the finger into my mouth, grinning wickedly at him as I closed my lips gently and pulled back my head, but not before licking his finger. Skulduggery gathered me to him without a word and walked us both to the bed. He laid me down gently, taking off his tie. At his gesture the lights went out, leaving us in firelight.

I admired him as he ever so slowly undid his tie, tossing it behind him carelessly. I knew he'd regret the rumpled clothes in the morning, but I didn't worry about that as he laid himself down beside me, encouraging me to unbutton his shirt. I did, devouring his ribs with hungry kisses and caresses that made him shiver, then the shirt was somehow on the floor and he'd happily snaked his hands inside of mine, exploring to his heart's content.

Then he had my shirt off as well and I could feel the pleasurable sensation of his bare ribs brushing up against me and I wanted more than anything to hurry things along, but Skulduggery wouldn't be rushed. He took his time with me now. Placing gentle kisses all around my neck and shoulders, dipping down to nuzzle my cleavage as his hands worked my shoulders.

He was just working on my bra clasp and I was getting to his belt when both our mobiles rang. I sighed knowing we had to answer. I fished mine out of my pocket. Tanith. "Yes sister dear, what is it?" I asked with a sigh.

"We were just wondering if your enjoying your cottage as much as we love ours." Tanith said with a giggle.

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Skulduggery was raving over the place for decades, so we decided to give it a whirl. Why not come see us in fifteen minutes? We'll make coffee." I agreed and rang off then looked at Skulduggery.

"Tanith?" He asked and I nodded. "That was Ghastly, inviting us over. I swear those two had no fun on their honeymoon." He grumbled, then laughed as he got up and stretched the sight of his bones by firelight making me slightly dizzy. "Sorry for the interruption, but they are our best friends. I had no idea they came here as well. Ghastly says they just arrived." He mused as we dressed.

"No worries, Skulduggery. We'll get back to where we were just now soon enough and the visit will be fun. It is their first time traveling as a couple again too, you know. They must want to celebrate with us." I said smiling. Skulduggery grinned in reply and soon was escorting me up a path I'd hadn't noticed to the door of another cottage. I wondered as we were greeted happily what the future held in store for us as couples and couldn't wait to find out.

* * *

 **Hopefully that was just enough spice for the people who wanted it, and not so much that my other readers tossed their cookies on their keyboards.**


	64. Chapter 64

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Tanith, Billy-Ray, Erskine, Anton, Ghastly, China, Tesseract, Erskine, Saracen, Dexter or Darquesse. I figure it was high time poor Ghastly came into his own, so this chapter is from his point of view. So yes, lots of lovely Ghanith for you! Yeah, the one pair I suck at, lucky you.

* * *

I knew very well we had interrupted a romantic evening for Valkyrie and Skulduggery, but frankly I didn't care. I loved my daughter and best friend as much as I loved my beautiful wife and it was a father's perogative to want to see his daughter anyhow. Now with us all being retired as Elders I didn't expect too many visits at my shop.

I watched Valkyrie embrace Tanith and the two explored the cottage, giggling like young girls. I loved seeming them together. Tanith needed a friend. Well, she needed a playmate. Over two decades of marriage had done nothing to make her more sedate and I was wondering how to broach the subject to the girls when Tanith turned to me and my breath caught like it always did.

"You two ought to start making plans now." I managed as Tanith's eyes caught mine. "You need a friend to go out with, you both do." I murmured as she came in close, making me as dizzy as she always did. Tanith gave me a crooked grin then was snuggling into me and at times like that I wondered if I hadn't gone insane and had two of the world's best and most indulgent friends. I expected to wake up one day and find out she was still with Billy-Ray, still possessed, and I had gone completely insane and been put in the nicest institution my friends could find. Tanith of course read my mind and smiled up at me gently her hand softly touching my face.

I smiled down at her then reluctantly left her warmth to seat Valkyrie and Skulduggery and serve up our hot drinks. It soothed me. Well, making tea soothed me more but they drank coffee and I'd learned to indulge them outside of my office and shop. But even as we sat and chatted my mind was filled with Tanith and our future together. Our children were grown now and we were alone again as it should be.

We didn't keep our friends long since I wanted alone time as much as they did and I sighed happily as I closed the door on them at last. Tanith looked at me, giving me a wicked grin. "Don't you start." I said. "I'm an old man, I need my beauty sleep." I mock groaned and she laughed and we walked towards one another, my heart beating faster as it always did. It was tempered with the sorrow of knowing that I'd leave her behind some day, and again she read my thoughts, pulling me into a searing kiss then standing back to look at me thoughtfully.

"Ghastly, if we could, would you like to stay with Skulduggery and Valkyrie? To stay the same age as we are now, I mean? We could, you know, she offered." I felt dumbstruck. Valkyrie had done far too much as it was for me, and still she wanted to do more. She'd broken my jinx removing my scars and broken the jinx over our son. Now she was offering to keep us young forever, but I shook my head sadly.

"I love you all more than anything, but outliving our children? I couldn't Tanith. Please don't ask me to."

"They'd be included. Cain and Val are immortal as it is so Valkyrie knows what it is like to have a future of thousands of years ahead with them. Valkyrie wouldn't expect us to do without the twins. Only, obviously we can't tell anyone else." She said and I nodded.

"I don't know, Tanith and I'm sorry to disappoint you. No, I do know. My answer has to be no. It would just hurt too much to loose the other Dead Men to loose everyone else, even mages. I'm sorry. But that doesn't mean you can't choose it if you like." I said gently and her eyes filled with tears. My heart broke but I just didn't see the point in living forever if it meant we lost everyone we loved.

* * *

I was holding Tanith in bed later, thinking about the offer. She was strongly attached to Valkyrie and I knew she wanted us all to be with them, but where would it end? Would the Dead Men be left out? Their future spouses or lovers? Their children? Once word got out, and I knew it would when so many people didn't age as a group would we have the right to refuse others? I didn't like the idea of playing God, it made me uneasy.

But I didn't like the idea of dying and leaving Tanith behind either. Or the children. I closed my eyes, praying for a sign, some sort of guidance. Tanith shifted in bed and opened up her eyes to smile at me. "Can't sleep?" She asked, stroking my bare chest slowly.

"No." I admitted. "You know I'd give this to you if I could but it feels wrong, Tanith. Where would it end? Would we have a right to refuse anyone who asked?"

"It isn't our power, it is Valkyrie's. She'd already decided we'd have to be it. She knew we couldn't accept but she offered anyhow. It's spooky sometimes how she just knows things ahead of time." Tanith admitted, snuggling in close and I reveled in the feeling of her warmth against my bare flesh.

"Are you forgetting she is also Darquesse?" I asked gently. "It isn't the natural way of things for people, even for magical people. I think it is wonderful that Valkyrie and her family have it but I also think the day with come centuries from now when they find a way to find their graves like the rest of us. Don't you remember "Highlander"? We can be lonely enough as it is with centuries to live, can you imagine living forever? Could you really want that?"

"If it meant having you and the kids with me, yes! I love you, Ghastly! Why should I have to loose you to old age? Why should I have to die and leave our children orphans after? I know you don't want to hear it, but I'll never be done living, there will always be more to do and see, more adventures to have. You're far too young yourself to feel the way you do, to be ready to crawl into your grave. What happened to you?" She asked and I shrugged helplessly, not really knowing.

"To tell you the truth I want it very badly, but I'd feel guilty about having it." I admitted at long last and she sat up to look at me squarely. People often mistook Tanith for the village idiot because she could act silly and carefree but there was nothing stupid about the eyes that locked on to mine.

"Give up magic then. You've always hated it. Go on then and give it up."

"We need magic to be able to defeat people who'd harm mortals, you know that."

"Really? And it would be terrible to have immortality to take the fight to the vamps and other creatures, wouldn't it? Think of it, Ghastly. We'd be on equal footing with them as far as immortality goes. That might not matter to most creatures, but vampires? You know it would disturb them on so many levels. Think of the magic we'd master as time passed. In time we might be strong enough to go up against witches and Warlocks as easily as we do other mages. We wouldn't just protect mortals but other mages as well."

I thought about it, she had a point. As it was we were simply too young as powerful as we were to not be easily defeated by a lot of creatures, vampires included. If Tanith's theory was right we'd be a powerful force for good. I looked at her, hesitating. "What did she say about bringing in the rest of the Dead Men?" I asked.

"That it would be up to each of them to join us or not. But we are the first she is giving the offer to. She loves us and besides Skulduggery and her kids she has no other family, you know that. Besides Tanith and Ghastly are great children. This might be just what they need. They've been so withdrawn lately."

"You know exactly why. They fell in love with their childhood playmates, or at least they thought they did. And Cain is off with Melody and Val with Tesseract. They're hurting. But they love them as friends as well, they'll recover. All right. We'll have thousands of years to regret our choices if we're wrong I suppose." I said fondly and Tanith drew me into a lingering kiss of gratitude.

I drew her on top of me, reveling in her curves, in her utter sweetness as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I ran my fingers through her hair, then I was exploring with my hands, gently, reverently. Every time felt like the first time I'd ever held her and deep inside I was profoundly grateful that we'd have endless time for moments like this.

* * *

Valkyrie's squeal of delight the next morning nearly deafened me, but I was glad to see her happy. She came to look at both of us, made a gesture in the air in front of me and nodded to herself, seemingly satisfied. She repeated the process with Tanith, then the two were both making those annoying squeals and hugging each other excitedly. I escaped to the front porch with Skulduggery. "That was it?"

"Oh, she added the gestures for your benefit, but yes. As soon as you agreed it was done. She's that good. She's not all-powerful mind you and it may be this doesn't make her or anyone she helps immortal, but she has such a good heart to be willing to try." He said fondly. I stared at my best friend, realizing that in many ways he loved Valkyrie more deeply than he'd ever loved before. He supported her even when he thought she might fail. That was a change since all he used to do was openly mock and torment her. I mentioned it and he grimaced.

"It's getting harder to tease her as the years go by. We'll always have the banter, sometimes, but it isn't any fun to torment her anymore. But she doesn't do it to me either. I guess the kids made us soft." He chuckled slightly, then smiled openly as Valkyrie joined him. Skulduggery kissed her then they walked arm in arm back to their cottage, heads tilted towards one another. They were closer than some couples that had centuries on them and I wondered if they knew how lucky they were.

Tanith joined me handing me a steaming mug of tea. "That's my job, but thank you." I said, drinking deeply and feeling the warmth flood through my body. I didn't feel any different but Tanith has sensed something. I didn't discount it either. Women had a sense men just didn't possess when it came to magic.

"She did it for the kids as well, calling them up first. She's been the best aunty ever. Apparently she knows something about one of the twins and I think it involved dating but she was sworn to secrecy. She's keeping it too." Tanith giggled slightly. I smiled at her relieved at the news then looked down as my mobile rang. It was our daughter and I grinned. It had to be her news.

"Hello, Tanith." I said, wondering for the umpteenth time why our children had insisted on Taking their own names. It was flattering but odd.

"Hi, dad! Aunty Val just called. She is so amazing! Anyhow I know she isn't going to tell you or mom so I will. I'm seeing someone!" She enthused.

"That's wonderful, who is it?" I asked, happy for her.

"Not saying yet, but Ghastly says it is OK to let you know he is seeing someone too. We're going out on a double date tonight. Well, enjoy the vaycay, gotta run!" She rang off before I could stop her and I smiled. I kew Tanith was wondering who she was seeing. Well there were plenty of young men for her to choose from. Likely one of the boys from Roarhaven or someplace else.

Tanith's mobile rang and she answered and I knew it had to be Ghastly. The twins could almost be counted on to do the same thing. But he was a lot more generous with his information because Tanith rang off, looking distinctly amused. "Our children have dates for the night. Calico Jane for one."

"What? Oh God, no. She's crazier than both her parents put together. Besides I thought she left with Billy-Ray and Calamity." Tanith shook her head.

"Nope, and shes not crazy, she's a good girl. She's coaxing our son back into the world of the living, you know. It broke his heart have so many of the detectives leave. Mine too." She admitted and I was surprised but shelved it for later.

"And who did our daughter find to date?" I asked and she grinned. Because she I knew that grin she knew I'd go crazy. But that was my daughter we were talking about. A young woman in her twenties on a date with a mage who could be decades older. "How bad is it?" I asked faintly and Tanith laughed. "This is my daughter I don't know how you can find it funny." I said in exasperation and she smiled.

"Well good news first, it isn't Erskine, Saracen or Dexter."

"That _is_ good news. Wait, what's the bad news? No, I don't think my heart can take it." I said, taking a long draught of my tea and her face softened.

"She told me before she liked him when she met him and it is high time they both started dating so no fussing from you all right?"

"Fine, fine. Who is it?"

"Anton."

"Wait. What? Anton doesn't date. He's _never_ dated. In all the time I've known the man he's never dated. The man has all the romance of a tree stump. My poor child, she'll be bored to tears. And that Gist! Oh Lord."

Tanith looked at me squarely. "My daughter is in love, Ghastly Bespoke. She managed to get our from under pining away for Cain so don't you _dare_ mess this up for her, understand?" He eyes glinted and I nodded.

"Fair enough. It was just a shock. I just never thought I'd see the day Anton dated, ever. He's the kind of man who didn't even look up when China walked into a room."

"Neither did you, remember? I think his Gist kept him immune like your scars did for you. Besides, let's not make this into something it's not. You remember how we were at that age? Four weeks from now they will be dating other people."

"If that long." I said with a grin and relaxed. We were moving on the morning. Leaving the snug little cottages to Skulduggery and Valkyrie. Tanith wanted luxury and I intended to give it to her.

We were packed and on the road within minutes and she looked at me excitedly. "Where are we going? You wouldn't say."

"Trust me, you'll like it. I might be a quiet man but I did find certain things I loved during my boxing career so that's all I'm saying. Tanith nodded then commenced to fiddle with the radio. I didn't mind I just blocked out her choice in music if I didn't like it. Boxing and the war had taught me that skill and although I loved Tanith dearly I needed it with her.

Something truly disturbing came on and Tanith squealed and started dancing in her seat. "What _is_ that noise?" I asked, wincing.

"Gwen Stefani!" She aid before staring to sing along.

"Gwen? She doesn't sound holy." I growled. Then another woman started singing, well more like shouting. That's all it sounded like. Something about being rich girls. I think. I was getting old. I was sure of it. Music hadn't really changed that much since the sixteen hundreds. And it never had been about talent. I'd heard plenty of terrible singers in my time and these girls weren't that bad. Just too _loud_ for my taste.

Tanith looked over at me, batting her eyelashes. "Would you make me an outfit like they wear in the video, pleeease?" She begged sweetly.

I raised my eyebrows. "What kind of outfit?" I asked and she dug out her mobile and flicked through it finding a photo she wanted. She showed it to me and I almost wrecked the van staring. I could see exactly what Tanith would look like dressed like that. Tanith just howled with laughter.

"So you'll make it then?" She purred and I nodded, unable to speak. I'd forgotten just how very wicked she could be when she wanted her way. And it make my heart sing that she thought I was worth it.

* * *

Tanith's reaction to the private suite I'd booked us on the top floor of the hotel was priceless. Of course the opulence of the suite may have had something to do with it. That and the fact that it took up the entire top floor of the hotel had her squealing in delight, running from one wonder to the next. I watched her, pleased I could still surprise her. "Do you like it?" I asked joining her by the floor to ceiling windows for the breath-taking view.

She rewarded me with a smouldering kiss, pressing the entire length of her body into mine in an effort to get closer and I reveled in the chance as I always did, making sure to be tender as I returned her kiss, minding my strength as I wrapped my arms around her waist, then settled my hands on her hips. This was my wife, the mother of my children and I'd always been tender with her but ever more so on that trip. "It's wonderful, where did you ever find it?" She asked as she cuddled into me, clearly enchanted.

"I have my ways. Are you sure you like it? You've only seen the view." I teased and she giggled.

"It's wonderful, Ghastly. It feels like we're on top of the world up here. But I'd love to see the rest of it, if you'd show me." She cooed and I was very glad I'd gotten rid of our bellhop with an extra large tip so I could do the honours. Tanith loved the living room that could have easily seated eight, and the library. There was even a fully stocked kitchen for her to admire, but what she loved most was the bedroom.

It took up about half the floor and had a built in jacuzzi, sauna and other amenities. It even had a giant flatscreen and leather couch to watch movies from and a fully stocked wine bar. I said a silent prayer of thanks that the Sanctuary was footing the bill at Erskine's insistence when Tanith found the chilled champagne he'd sent as a gift and the gourmet treats especially for Tanith. I wasn't jealous, I knew he'd been interested in her but I also knew he was deliriously happy to be married to Laura now.

Tanith looked at the champagne, the TV, which we could easily see from it, then at me hopefully and I smiled and nodded. I'd made us swimwear especially for this night and kept it hidden away and she squealed in delight when she got her swimsuit. I supposed it would be demure for her, but there was nothing demure about the way she filled it out and she knew it.

Tanith gave me a sultry smile as she approached the jacuzzi and I felt my heart quicken as she got in, cuddling right up next to me as we leaned back and let the steaming hot water soothe us as the powerful air jets eased away our tension. Somehow the TV got forgotten after we'd opened the champagne. But I didn't mind. We indulged slowly, Tanith sharing the box of chocolate dipped strawberries with me, insisting on feeding me and I'm sure I was grinning like an idiot but I couldn't help myself.

I took her in my arms and she smiled dreamily at me, her soft full lips dewy with champagne and she tasted so sweet as we kissed that I never wanted it to end. I pressed my mouth tenderly on hers and she met my efforts, teasing me into exploring like she always did, not that I needed much incentive but I always waited. I never wanted to just take anything from her. I wanted it to be a willing gift, and when she repeated the invitation I took it, fearing I'd pass out because it felt so right to be there with her, to be kissing her as only her husband should.

We parted and she smiled at me. "You know what would be great right now?" She asked and I imagined she was going to drain the Sanctuary coffers with an in-room massage.

"What?" I asked, still happy just to hear her voice.

"Let's go to bed." She said, a huge grin on her beautiful face and I didn't have to be asked twice.

* * *

Hours later we were drowsing, and I was thrilled at the feel of her silken skin against mine. It had been far too long since we'd made love like we had, far too long since I treated her like the center of my universe, and I was glad I'd retired. I needed to be with her like this more often before I lost her and I'd been terrified that my late hours and lack of enthusiasm for anything other than sleep some nights could have cost me my wife.

But she'd never strayed. True, she'd been in a foul mood until I did make love to her, but she'd never been unfaithful, ever. Tanith nuzzled into me, and I felt sleep overtake me. When I awoke it was morning and I was met with the welcome sight of her stretching lithely. She'd already showered and put tea on and I accepted a steaming cup from her with thanks as I sat up in bed. "Order up some breakfast if you like, I don't plan on leaving here today if I don't have to." I purred and she giggled.

I watched her order then she hopped into bed with me. "This is amazing. Not just the this place, but you. You're like you were when we first started dating." She said, cuddling in, our tea forgotten. "I've missed this, you know? Having time together in the morning, not having to rush off somewhere. It's wonderful."

"I've missed it too." I said, kissing her chastely then pulling away so I could shower. I would have happily invited her in but she was dressed and awaiting our breakfast and it was always something we could try later if we liked. I grinned stupidly to myself. This place inspired all sorts of indecent thoughts and I loved it. Tanith had breakfast and a paper waiting for me when I came out and she demurely kept her eyes glued to the flatscreen watching the local news while I dressed. I smiled, then escorted my lovely wife to breakfast, pulling out her chair for her and gently pushing it in when she was ready.

We ate slowly and it was wonderful to realize that work would never be breakfast conversation for us ever again. "You know, we should do this more often, Tanith. Not vacationing, we'll certainly do that, but just being together. But I also want you and Valkyrie to take time together. Speaking of which, since she and Skulduggery are still detectives I imagine we'll be getting invited to help every once in a while. Would you like that?" I asked, pouring her more tea and putting more eggs on her plate and she nodded looking at me dreamily.

I smiled slightly unsure. She looked like a woman who'd just fallen in love. And she was looking at me like that. Her husband of over two decades. Tanith smiled, reading my thoughts. "I think I'm falling in love with you all over again." She said sweetly and I felt my eyes mist up.

"I feel the same way. Tanith, I love you."

"I love you too, Ghastly." She said, smiling, and I blushed, ducking my head. I was behaving like a lovestruck schoolboy and I didn't much care. I felt I'd earned it. Not by providing for her and the children or being a faithful husband lover and friend. But I'd earned it because she loved me. She loved me, the tailor, the ex-boxer, not the Elder or the power the position had held and that made me fall in love with her all over again.

She was a wonderful wife, far better than I deserved and that she loved me every bit as much as I loved her meant more than anything to me. My mobile rang and I glanced at it, startled. I smiled seeing it was Valkyrie and answered. "Enjoying your second honeymoon, dad?" She asked cheerfully.

"Of course, and you?"

"Wonderful! Skulduggery and I are going fishing later. Did I mention what an awesome dad you are for finding new Elders? Because you are."

"Mm. Since the twins tell you everything how did their dates go last night?" I asked and Tanith leaned forward eagerly. "Hold on, putting you on speaker before Tanith mauls me for the phone." I said and Tanith grinned crookedly at me.

"I'm on speaker now? OK, both dates went extremely well. I think. Calico is definitely seeing Ghastly again if he has to break her door down to get to her which he won't because they're very much in love. How's the weather?"

"Don't tease. How did it go for Tanith and Anton?"

"He was quite the proper gentleman but alas your reputation proceeding you, or should I say Tanith. He never got closer than an arm's length the entire date. He hade it pretty clear that he enjoyed himself but, well, he couldn't imagine you approving, so he and the Midnight Hotel have moved on. Tanith's OK. He really was sweet and wonderful to her, everything she wanted in a man, but she's her daddy's girl. If you say no she'll listen." Valkyrie's voice was kind. She wasn't judging me. Everyone knew I didn't want any of the Dead Men dating any offspring of mine. But Tanith was glaring daggers at me now. Anton was a decent man and clearly he liked Tanith. She could have done far worse.

"I'm a terrible father, aren't I?" I asked and Valkyrie sighed.

"You're her father your allowed to be terrible and forbid her from seeing boys, or in this case men. I also got a call from Anton of course." She said, her voice gentle.

"And?" I asked.

"He and the Midnight Hotel will no longer be returning to Ireland until she's had a chance to forget him. Say a decade or so. Oh, Skulduggery's back with breakfast, got to go."

"Wait, Valkyrie. Do you think I should-" I paused at a loss for words.

"I think we should all stay out of it." She said gently. "If they are as in love as I think they are they won't be able to listen to common sense and he'll be back for her or she'll track him down, one of the two. If we interfere even to encourage them it might ruin everything. Let him rescue her, OK?" She asked and I agreed than rang off smiling.

Tanith looked at me, and then her eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute. You _want_ her to date Anton, don't you? All this protesting, that was all an act, wasn't it?"

I nodded happily. "One Anton is in on. He's serious about Tanith he has been since he met her last year. He's ready to marry her and the idea of being rescued by her knight in shining armour is something she's always shared with him. So I played the terrible father. Letting her think I couldn't stand the idea." I said and grinned.

My beautiful wife sighed and rolled her eyes at me. "You could have let me know. Or Valkyrie."

"Valkyrie knew, sweetheart, but I know you all too well. You'd have told her and if Tanith felt he was acceptable-"

"She wouldn't have chosen him." He namesake finished softly. "She takes after me too much. Thanks for not telling me then, you're right. But wait what was all that between you and Val about the Midnight Hotel and Anton not returning to Ireland?"

"Oh _that_." I paused to sip my tea. "You girls aren't the only ones to share a secret language. Val was letting me know our plan worked. Anton will be running the hotel on a regular schedule. He won't be returning to Ireland for days, not decades, mainly because Tanith is now his guest and he plans on proposing in that time frame." Tanith just stared at me openmouthed and I grinned back, happy to think that in that time we returned home she might have a wedding to plan.

* * *

 **Our Ghastly can be devious, I'll give him credit. Hope you liked it and if I get enough interest I shall continue with some more Skul Val next time I think. A case is just out or reach, teasing me, dang it. BTW, I personally hated this chapter. I just can't write Ghanith without it sounding stupid.**

 **Note: Gwen is Welsh for white or holy.**


	65. Chapter 65

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Erskine, Deter, Saracen, Valkyrie, Darquesse or Lord Vile. It dawned on me I've never had a Halloween case for them yet, so here it is.

* * *

I walked out onto our porch and blinked in surprise. There was a pumpkin. We never had a pumpkin, not after the kids had grown and moved away and that had always been inside for the family to admire. Not that Skulduggery was a royal anti-Halloween grouch but any decoration that might attract Trick or Treaters (he called them little extortionists) was frowned upon. I went back inside. "Skulduggery, why is there a pumpkin on the front porch?" I asked as he made us coffee and breakfast.

He took his time answering so I admired his charcoal grey suit, white dress shirt and midnight blue tie. The matching grey fedora sported a black band and set of his handsome features. "Because, my dear, sweet wife and most loyal combat accessory, _I_ bought it." Skulduggery said smugly.

"You what? My God, the pod people have my husband. Eh, I like the replacement they left better." I said and he snorted in amusement. "But seriously, a pumpkin? You _hate_ Halloween."

"I _hate_ little extortionists. But we may have a case and it may involve baiting the little monsters here to get a good look at them. I think I'll go as myself, what do you think?" He stalked towards me menacingly, opening and closing his jaws as if he were about to eat me.

"Very terrifying." I said, suppressing my smile and Skulduggery grinned, pleased with himself. "So, we have a Halloween related case?" I asked hopefully as he set a full breakfast out of eggs, bacon, sausage, toast and of course the assorted pastries we still had delivered along with coffee and orange juice.

"Indeed. Mortals and mages alike are being robbed by children in costume. You'd think they'd know not to answer the door until Halloween proper, but answer they do. Since they are only stealing jewelry my guess is dwarves have moved into the area."

"Skulduggery!" I scolded. "You can't call people dwarves, it isn't nice."

"I meant actual dwarves and before you get excited they are unappealing little beasts. Highly intelligent and master metalsmiths. I'm not sure why they are stealing, to be honest, most of it is junk jewelry. It isn't like they can say the are reclaiming their gems."

"Wait, their gems?" I asked, puzzled.

"Mmm. According to legends the dwarves owned all minerals, metals and gems. They started to barter with humans, mostly for human females but humans being so much larger they just went in and killed them. Almost eradicated them all." He sighed. "Now they are just legends to mortals. I know several of them actually, or did. Not even sure if they'd be willing to talk to me. It isn't like them to steal, you know."

"This will sound unkind, but are they dangerous?" I asked, before devouring my eggs.

"They can make legendary weapons. Some say they and not your ancestors made the God-killer weapons. But no, by and large they don't do combative magic. They will avoid conflict. Besides they are so ugly that most people never seek them out more than once. Why do you think they had to trade for mortal women or entice then with jewels?"

"If you tell me the Brísingamen is just a fairy tale-" I started and he laughed.

"Women and jewelry." Skulduggery chuckled. "About that I have no Earthly idea. Do tell me you weren't planning on earning your own necklace. That did involve seven dwarves and seven nights of romantic favors as I recall."

"Skulduggery!" I said, turning bright red and he just laughed.

"Mmm. Nothing may come of it, but we'll be picking up some decorations and a few magical jewelry lures for the sticky-handed miscreants. And don't get that dreamy look on your face. You're not keeping any of it. You will wear it, though. Lots of it."

"Um, and exactly where do I wear it? You're right, we shouldn't be seeing kids in costume all October."

"Costumes stores would have kids in costumes now. Trying things on. Who is going to notice the same rather ugly child if he's wearing a different costume? But yes, I'm thinking they use invisibility or some such magic. Then they come to the door and whine pitifully for candy. The victims open the door and remember nothing after."

"So how do we know it is children or dwarves dressed as children?" I argued, not liking where this was going.

"Security cameras and witnesses my most precious wife." Skulduggery grinned. He looked way too happy and then it dawned on me.

"No! I am not going undercover and trying on costumes, Skulduggery! Dressing up is for children. Adults get to stay home and answer the door in comfy clothes and hand out candy." I growled firmly.

"And yet, costumes come in adult sizes. Not that women's costumes ever contain much material. I am so going to enjoy seeing you in them. Finish your breakfast then. We've a big day ahead of us." He said pleased and I smiled sweetly at him.

"Of course, dear. Because if I'm dressing up and trying on costumes, so are you." Skulduggery choked on his coffee and I just laughed.

* * *

At the Sanctuary our new Elders were snickering over my plight. "Saracen, Dexter! We fought in a war together, you can't let him do this to me." I argued and they only laughed harder. Erskine was also present and having fits.

"But Val, you get to try on skimpy outfits for a good cause. Besides, you get to wear pretty jewelry. Come see." He waved me over to his desk. I wanted to argue, I really did until he opened a velvet lined case and showed me a choker made of row after row of flawless diamonds. "See? Pretty." He coaxed and I blinked and drew back, whatever spell the choker had cast on me broken.

"Then _you_ wear it and prance around the stores as a cross dresser. It'll be fun." I leered and he sighed and looked at Skulduggery.

"You didn't tell her, did you?"

"Ah, no, I did not."

Erskine looked away nervously and Saracen stared at the floor. Dexter cringed then spoke. "Valkyrie, you're the real bait. A beautiful human female dressed in next to nothing is going to have them a lot more interested than any jewelry. Not that we won't be putting pretty sparklies on you, of course."

"But I'm married!" I protested.

Skulduggery gave me a pitying look then spoke gently. "So was Freya, I think. Besides rather lonely men can sometimes see a married woman as choosing them. Makes them feel better about themselves." Skulduggery said then dropped his skull so he was also staring at the floor rather nervously. "We uh, also have reports, uh, of well-"

"Of what, Skulduggery?" I growled, and he looked at me guiltily.

"Little children ending up in the wrong dressing room or following women out the door. The women of course stop everything and find the mom so they might have enspelled mortals into helping them."

"You mean these little perverts want to see me _naked_?" I barked in outrage.

"You try being hideously ugly, my dear, and you'll be amazed at the length you'll go to for any kind of companionship. No doubt if these are indeed my brethren they have become lovesick. We tend to follow a woman everywhere after that. And please, no more 'little' comments if you don't mind." The voice was soft and gentle and I turned around.

I had expected a dwarf like in the movies but the man in front of me seemed to be made of the Earth itself or maybe ancient tree roots. Spindly and thin he wasn't even three feet tall. He had a pleasant scent I noticed, like nutmeg and pumpkin pie and I realized he must be using his scent to lure me in unknowingly because I was feeling increasingly smitten. "Yes, of course, sorry. But can you turn down whatever magic you're doing?" I asked closing my eyes and he gasped. The scent disappeared and when I opened my eyes I had to try not to wince.

"Sorry." I said again. "But you aren't the one being put on display. And if you can do what you did by accident, Mister?" The dwarf nodded thoughtfully.

"Yes, I see your point, my beauty. My most humble apologies. My name is Fafnir, like the dwarf of legend." He laughed softly. "But I'm no brave warrior, I'm afraid. Just here to help an old friend." He turned slightly. "Good to see you again, Skulduggery. But she is right. If I could use my charms on her so easily, think of what less scrupulous dwarves could do." He paused then turned to me. "I don't mean less scrupulous, my dear! Only we are so very lonely and never has there been a female of our kind, ever."

My heart softened. It had to be terrible not having someone to love. "Mr. Fafnir-" I began, but he waved a small gnarled hand.

"Fafnir is fine, my sweet."

"Fafnir, if your brothers want women to love them, why take jewelry?"

"Our storehouses are empty, humans have taken all our old mines. Only a few remain and we have no lovely jewelry to woo a woman with. Please, when you capture them, please show mercy. They only want loved. They mean you nor any other woman harm. Once upon a time dwarves and elves were the lovers and consorts of mortal women, magical women as well. Only we are so very ugly-" He broke off dipping his head in shame and my maternal instincts kicked in.

"Fafnir, you are _not_ ugly, all right? You are as you are meant to be. Who cares if you don't look like the men in this room? You aren't supposed to. To the right woman you will be very handsome and you won't have to enspell her, either. Her heart will do that for you."

He looked up hopefully. "Do you truly think so, my sweet maiden? Oh what we would give to take wives. But we are mere metalsmiths-"

"You make jewelry." I corrected gently. "Women will love you." He smiled then.

"I can see why you married her, Skulduggery. She has a kind heart." He turned to me again. "The necklace will be yours to keep, the very last crafted on my own forge if only you will help find my brothers. There are four. Surely you will have mercy?"

"You keep the necklace for the woman who will fall in love with you, Fafnir. It will make a fine wedding gift for her from you." I said and his small face lit up with joy.

* * *

It was planned then that I was to pose as a rich young mom looking for a costume that would show off her pretty sparklies and her curves. The dwarves, if present in a store would be helpless in the sight of a dwarven-made necklace and come closer, then hopefully become so smitten they'd follow me. I thought it was a bit cruel to lure them in this way and again argued we should use a pretty and single lady detective but Skulduggery refused. "Valkyrie, you know enough to take care of yourself should you be lured away and I know that you'd never willingly hurt them. Besides, Fafnir will be along as our son and he won't let anything happen to you."

Fafnir blushed and dipped his head. He'd already put the necklace and matching bracelets on me, so I followed Skulduggery to the Bentley with a resigned sigh. Fafnir would also be able to sense where his brethren were and soon he'd pointed out a store. I turned to point out that he couldn't let mortals see him and found a small child, well, him, in a astronaut outfit.

He'd be looking at costumes as well as would Skulduggery. Separating seemed like a terrible plan, but I agreed. As it turned out both males stuck close by while I was shown costumes. I noticed children watching me, and they didn't seem normal, the didn't move quickly from place to place like kids will do and they were also alone. A clown, a robot, and it looked like some kind of turtle and something I guessed was from a kid's show. All four watched me solemnly as Skulduggery hustled me into a dressing room along with a skimpy bunny costume. "She might need help." He purred to the befuddled clerk who said nothing. "You saw them too? All four are here. I think we've been led into a trap." He whispered, his teeth close to my ear.

"So now what do we do?" I hissed back. "We can't just shoot them in a store full of witnesses."

"Of course not. Nor am I letting you get captured. Ditch the jewels. Good girl, now hold on to me, tightly, that's it." He purred, then brought his teeth down on my lips in a searing kiss. His shadows swelled around us and when they fell we were in Erskine's office.

Erskine smiled at us. "Good work, you two. We already have all five in custody. Apparently they were planning on kidnaping Valkyrie and making her their queen. But they already found a new one in the gaoler in the maximum security jail they'll be staying in. Sorry you had to be bait, Val." He said gently.

I looked at Skulduggery. "Then you planned everything, including Fafnir getting to join us?"

"Oh, yes. Dwarves do this sometimes. They are the most confirmed bachelors on the planet but every so often they get the idea in their head to take a queen. They adore her and drape her with jewels then suddenly the heartbroken thing is led aboveground when whatever cycle they were going through ends and they are no longer smitten with her."

"If there are really only males of their kind-"

"Ah, the rare exception of course is when a woman stays and bears them young. But most females of any species go rather insane being kept underground too long. So would the males of course. Come along then. Time to go home." He said cheerfully.

I looked at Erskine who happily waved us off. "That's it?" I asked as we settled into the Bentley. "That was the entire case? It didn't even last a day." I groused and he smiled at me.

"Seatbelt. And yet you were in peril of being captured and made a queen. I think that's enough excitement for one day, don't you?" He asked, clearly amused.

"Well, yeah, but things never go this well for us. And why use us anyhow if it was so easy?"

"It was easy for us because I knew Fafnir. We didn't need to waste weeks with another detective reaching out to make a bond. I knew the instant I saw him try and enspell you that he intended to kidnap you. He just knew he couldn't do it there and he underestimated your ability to detect it. No doubt he was hoping to follow you into the dressing room himself and ensnare you."

"And if I had been ensnared and had been captured?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"I was rather hoping Darquesse would free herself before Lord Vile got a chance to show his tender mercies to the last few remaining dwarves. Ah, here we are, home again. I wasn't planning on letting anything happen to you, Valkyrie. Cheer up." Skulduggery said as we got out. I followed him into the house glancing at the pumpkin.

"Now what do we do with that? Make pies?" I asked.

"I think people still carve Jack 'O Lanterns, don't they? He shall be a fierce one." Skulduggery said stopping to give the pumpkin a kindly pat. I wondered if he had at last managed to go completely insane.

"Skulduggery, you're not dying and hiding it from me, are you?" I asked as he carried the pumpkin inside and he laughed in delight.

"No, my dear and most loyal combat accessory, I am not dying. I'm already dead, remember? I've done this before. Do you remember the year you found bags of candy on your bed?"

"Yes, and nobody in my family had done it and when I asked if it was a present from you, you reminded me of how much you hated any holiday."

"True, but a couple of teenage brats showed up that year looking for trouble, so I gave it to them. Amazing what an angry skeleton can demand as payment for waking the dead." Skulduggery mused, clearly fond of the memory. "I almost got fired for that, but I felt guilty since you were helping me on a case and couldn't go out yourself. Though you were very sweet about having your own skeleton for Halloween on the stakeout as I recall."

He held out his arms and I went to him for a hug. Skulduggery sighed happily, another trait he'd picked up somewhere. "Coffee?" He asked as he released me at long last and I nodded.

"Sounds wonderful. Thank you for today, I thought we'd never go out on a case again. Besides it was fun doing something with you for Halloween." Skulduggery made one of his pleased chirrups.

"Thank you, Valkyrie, for coming. I'd be lost without you, you know. But of course you will always be with me because I'm so very dashing." He said, nodding proudly.

"I will." I promised, watching his gloved hands caress the pumpkin's surface. "I can't wait to see you carve a Jack 'O Lantern again to be honest. You have quite the talent for it."

"Well, of course I do. This one shall be very handsome and fierce indeed but I'm sending you to watch TV or do something else. I'll roast the seeds and have this beauty lit and ready in no time. Go on then." He said handing me my coffee with a kiss to the cheek and I nodded and slipped away to the living room.

As many wonderful things as he could do and as wonderful as he was, Skulduggery, like me, had a very hard time expressing his emotions or giving gifts. It embarrassed him to admit that he cared and was thus vulnerable to rejection and all our friends knew any gifts they received were joint gifts or from me. The candy he'd left that year and never admitted to was one rare gift as he dared give.

I knew he'd made up the story about scaring teenagers out of it on the spot. That he'd bought the bags and candy that he filled them to bulging with because he'd cared about me even when I was a bratty younger partner. I knew because he'd bought candy at a sweet shop and not just dumped in various bags of mass produced whatever. Skulduggery Pleasant would never admit it, but he was very tender-hearted and generous towards those he cared about.

He appeared at my shoulder and I accepted the proffered refill. "I do hope you know how much trouble I'm going to, Valkyrie. A man of my talents should be paid for his artistic genius." He preened. I smiled and took hold of his midnight blue tie to pull him into a lingering kiss.

"Who says you aren't going to get paid later?" I purred and he almost dropped the coffee pot.

* * *

Skulduggery called me back into the kitchen, having shut off the lights so I could admire his creation in the dark. I heard him click his fingers to draw a flame then the hand lowered. The flame must have caught on the candle inside the Jack O' Lantern because it suddenly lit up and I couldn't keep the grin of delight off my face. "Skulduggery, it's perfect!" I said and he beamed with pride in the Jack 'O Lantern's glow.

"Well of course it is, Valkyrie. _I_ did it. I couldn't think of anything more fierce, yet handsome dashing and heroic for the holiday season, could you?" He asked and I shook my head no. He'd carefully scored just enough of the flesh off the front to make a replica of a skull in a hat that tilted rakishly over one eye.

"That's perfect. Are we leaving it on for the night?" I asked and he nodded, coming over to loop a bony arm around me.

"I should think so. It isn't Halloween until tomorrow but that handsome devil was begging to be carved. Did I mention he's also very dashing?" He asked, tilting his head and grinning at me before he drew me in for a lingering kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, all too happy to comply. Skulduggery grunted happily and wrapped his arms around me. His gloved hands started to explore, relaxing us both and I wondered if we needed to retire.

I'd been more frightened than I cared to admit by the idea of being stolen away from him and never seeing him again, and as he urged my mouth open gently I knew he felt the same way. Skulduggery pulled back slightly. "Couch or bedroom?" He asked and I was about to reply when his mobile rang. I groaned. Skulduggery sighed and stepped back reluctantly then flipped it open and grunted his way through the call as he looked at me. I could see the trouble in his skeletal features, this wasn't good. He rang off and sighed, I swear he closed what passed for his eyes for a long moment. "Fafnir and the four brothers he was arrested with are dead. In their cell and no witnesses of course. No proof of forced entry, no video of anyone entering the cells."

"But I thought the prison was heavily warded. No teleporter or magic would work there." I protested as we got and shrugged into our coats.

"So someone went to a lot of trouble to kill the last few remaining dwarves. We'll never know if they knew something they shouldn't or were a threat to someone somehow, at least not now. Come on then, we've got a crime scene to get to. Sorry about ruining your Halloween again, Valkyrie." He said as we got into the Bentley. "Seatbelt."

"It's not ruined. You know things never go easy on us. OK maybe we've gotten one or two cases like that, but by and large they don't. Who would hate them enough or need them quiet?" I asked and Skulduggery shrugged as he drove.

"That's what we get to find out. They were only there so they wouldn't try and escape. They were only going to get a stern lecture in the morning about bothering mortal and magical women and be shooed off." I heard the sadness in his voice and felt terrible for him and them.

"They couldn't have faked being dead to be taken out of the cells, could they?" I asked and he looked at me.

"Say that again?" He asked but already had his mobile out and was making calls. He snapped it shut and looked at me. "Whoever taught you to be such a clever detective? That's right, me. It would seem your alertness stopped the minute 'corpses' from sneaking off. Well done. We're still going to give them a very stern lecture of course."

"Of course. So long as they don't wife-nap me or skeleton-nap you I'm happy to give a _very_ stern lecture." And I was too when we at last arrived. I knew it was most likely wrong to lecture fully grown men like they were children, it had to be humiliating, but I was still frightened over the prospect of loosing Skulduggery.

"Fafnir." I growled and he shivered. "Do you realize how much trouble you've caused and how close you came to exposing magic?" I asked and he winced. "Women do not _like_ to be grabbed and abducted. If you five really want a woman to take care of you you've got to be nice to her. Try dating her." I continued and he sighed.

"But we're ugly. We can't date." One of his brothers pleaded. "We charm women into being with us. It's terrible you know, not to be loved for our own selves. We'd all love a wife for us all to care for. We're busy men, but between the five of us we'd make one attentive husband."

"Have you considered a ninja? That's what I would do." Skulduggery said and nodded wisely and I sucked in my lips so I wouldn't laugh. "She'd be just the thing. You wouldn't even know she's there. And ninjas love sneaking around in the dark and in secret places." I looked over wondering if he was being serious for once. I swore he was. "Think of it. She could scale in and out of your underground home just like that. But tell me, how are you such busy men with no metals to smith, hmmm?" Skulduggery had caught them in a lie I hadn't even noticed.

Growling slightly he continued. "I think all the thefts were so you would get a chance at a Sanctuary detective or other woman who works in one. And then you made the mistake of choosing my wife, and no one takes my wife from me. Ever." He growled and clacked his teeth. The nearest dwarf swooned. "Right then. Leave mortal and magical women alone or I'll murder you all in your beds." He said cheerfully and we left them with a horrified warden.

Skulduggery was humming to himself as we returned to the Bentley. "Seatbelt. And don't worry I just wanted them away from you. Maybe they have a mine to get back to or they made up having something to do, either way their cycle is ending. They didn't even look at you when you came in the interrogation room with me. Still, I know they'd feel justified in taking you since mortals took all their most profitable mines."

"That is just creepy. This has ruined the idea of cute singing dwarves or brave warriors for me, forever. You bring such joy into my life, you know that?"

"Now, now. Be glad I'm not one of those heroes in a romantic novel. I'd get you a Halloween kitten. A little black one with a cute bow and everything." I looked over at him.

"We're not pet people. And neither one of us would change a littler box."

"I had plenty of cats as a boy. We needed them. Useful creatures but they always had time for a cuddle." He said and I wondered again if he was joking. Skulduggery was so fussy the cat hair alone would kill him. "Oh, I know what you're thinking. Skulduggery is so very fastidious and cats shed. I wasn't so fastidious back then. Took cat hair with my everywhere I went."

"You're joking."

"No. I stuttered, remember? Cats don't laugh at you when you stutter or make fun of you. They find other things to laugh at you for, but when you're friends with them that's OK." I looked at him and suddenly could see the lonely young boy with only cats as his friends. I wondered if he was making up a story but he went on. "You've never had any idea, but when you call me a cat in a detective suit I take it as the highest compliment. I'd love a cat, I really would."

I didn't know what to say to that and he continued. "Yes, if I was one of those handsome-yet-sensitive heroes I'd have used a scented candle in the Jack 'O Lantern and there would be a kitten inside my ribcage right now. Dozing away in the little nest I built her. A cute little black kitten with a bow. Who wouldn't be any trouble at all. Honestly, she wouldn't. Go on then, reach in and find out. The candle was scented after all."

* * *

 **Reader's choice! Does Val find A) a cute little black kitten to love and cherish B) a plush black kitten or C) something else?**

 **Note: The Brísingamen was the necklace of the goddess Freya. She got it according to one version of the legend by giving her love to seven dwarves. Yup, Snow White is the watered-down version of the tale.**


	66. Chapter 66

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Tesseract, Anton or Jack. Chapter is from Cain's point of view. The events Cain refers to took place in the one shot _The American_.

* * *

I felt butterflies in the stomach I didn't have. Melody Rotunda had become first my partner, then my friend, then my girlfriend, and she was more amazing and beautiful to me as each day passed. Just last night she had agreed to marry me and I fretted. Would she be wearing the ring I'd given her when I'd given her my heart as well?

I bowed my head and my shoulders slumped. How could she love me after I'd judged her so badly the day we met? Having the ability to read thoughts she'd know everything I thought about her, but still saved my life. A gentle rap on the window brought my head up and she smiled at me, her beautiful curly blond hair framing her equally beautiful face. I pushed the button and the window whirred down. Melody set her hands on the window seal, the ring I'd given her throwing back the sunlight from it's slivery surface, and leaned in for our good morning kiss.

The heart I didn't have spun and danced in my ribcage. How could I possibly be so lucky as to have such an amazing fiancee? "Hello, beautiful." I murmured. dazed when we at last parted and she giggled and walked around the car to get in, but I held up my hand so I could get out and get her door, mentally kicking myself for not going to her door, but she was as fiercely independent as mom was, and I knew she liked proving she wasn't clingy or needful. Still. "I should have been at your door for you, sorry." I said and she actually laughed.

"Cain, I asked you to pick me up at the flower shop, remember? Honey, we're not in front of my apartment building." She said with a grin, as we got settled in the car, then she was gently stroking my jaw in a way that made me dizzy. She could see through the illusion of my necklace and she liked what she saw. I tried not to let it go to my skull, but it was hard. I blushed even harder, feeling suddenly shy.

"Breakfast?" I asked, blushing furiously and her smile became tender.

"Yes, please. Cain, you know I love you and it was very brave of you to propose last night. I didn't sleep much, thinking you might, well, have second thoughts. But I can see now you don't. Your wearing your ring. Thank you."

I gasped and glanced over. "Never! Any man who wouldn't want you as his wife would have to be insane. That's it, I'm carrying two guns, just like dad, so I can shoot all the men who are going to try and steal you away from me." I said, nodding firmly and drawing a sweet smile from her. I adored Melody. She made me feel good about myself in a way none of the other girls or women who acted interested ever did. The either had a sick obsession with dad and wanted me as a substitute or wanted a freak. Melody adored me as a man, and I tried every day to live up to that love. "We've had some good adventures, haven't we?" I asked as I drove and she nodded, then held up a finger as her mobile rang. She answered it, and I could hear the high, excited sound of my sister's voice.

"It's Valkyrie, I'll put her on speaker." Melody said as she did, then my sister's hyper voice broke into the car, making me smile.

"Oh my God, Cain!" She burbled into the mobile, then her melodious purr filled the car and I couldn't help but purr in response. As skeletons she and I had a special connection, it worked with dad as well and it wasn't just about being family. And I knew exactly what her purr meant. She was engaged.

"OK, big bro, yes and yes! Yes, we're engaged. And yes, Jack agreed to come back to the Sanctuary!"

"That's wonderful news! And I don't have to say a word, do I?" I asked and she giggled.

"Congratulations, Val." Melody said warmly. "You're getting a good man, I hope you know that." My heart melted at her words. Despite how cruelly a lot of people treated her for not being the bikini model they expected as dad would put it, it hadn't made her bitter. Melody had a tender heart and she cared about everyone she met until they gave her a reason to do otherwise.

We chatted a bit more and rang off. Melody knew I was near hyperventilating even if I was a skeleton. Jack had always been closer to me than my own family and loosing him had nearly killed me. I still didn't know why he had left and as I parked in front of the diner we liked Melody touched my hand gently. "We aren't seeing everything here, Cain. But we both know that many people didn't leave willingly. I smell blackmail. I have no idea what changed and how they are all coming back now, but please, forgive and forget, for me?"

"But he left me!" I said, tears stinging my eye sockets.

"Think. Would he ever willingly leave you, ever? Something happened, from what you tell me Jack's whole world revolved around you, and the Sanguines loved all of you and you loved them. Someone made them go away, they had to. So please, if you're hurt or angry, let's get in a good sparring session at the Sanctuary, but don't say something you'll regret."

I nodded, looking at her in awe. Sometimes having an older fiancee was a wonderful thing. I didn't always listen because I sometimes felt that as the man I should lead, but I appreciated Melody's hard-earned wisdom. She never spoke about a family or friends and I got the strongest sense that every time she did make friends she expected them snatched away. "You're right. The last thing Jack needs is rejected. He'd go away and we'd never see him again. I've just missed him so much. Not that you aren't a wonderful partner, of course." I added and she smiled warmly.

Movement in the diner caught her eye and she grinned. "News travels fast, I get to meet the parents." She teased. The mouth I didn't have went dry. Mom and dad loved her and they looked happy as we entered, but I was still nervous. Mom got up and hugged Melody tightly. Surprised, but pleased, Melody returned the embrace then shook hands with father.

"We heard from Valkyrie." Mom said.

"And we took the liberty of ordering a feast, I insist." Dad said. "It isn't every day both my children get engaged. Though, Melody, I want to know, whatever made you have an engagement ring ready?"

"I love Cain, you both know that, and I think men deserve an engagement ring. Why do you ask?" She asked, clearly puzzled and dad held up his gloved hand, his engagement ring clearly visible.

"I was carrying it around for him for a while." Mom said with a smile. "I got it for him one Christmas at a little shop. No one ever told you?"

"No. I know this will sound crazy, but the store I bought it from wasn't there the next day. I just assumed your magical communities ran that way. I swear I didn't know and I had no idea we'd bought matching rings." She said, and she was right, we had. Two silver skulls, both imbued with magic to fit the wearer. I'd picked out one with beautiful blue gemstone eyes for Melody and she'd gotten me one with fiery red eyes.

"Maybe it's a sign, like our rings were." Mom suggested and dad nodded. They had taken having rings for one another as a good sign, though if I recalled correctly dad had asked for his because mom felt too shy to give it to him.

Melody and I had both laughed when the ring she got me matched mine. "You know, I can't really recall anything about that store." I admitted. "And I would like to know why you chose red eyes, dearheart." I teased and Melody grinned.

"Because they suit you. I swear your eyes glow when you're angry and you know what I mean." She said and I felt flattered. What I had in place of eyes was invisible to most people, except maybe mom if she went Darquesse. But Melody met my gaze quite often and I found it endearing.

Our meal came and Melody tilted her head up, clearing sensing something. She concentrated then nodded to herself and went back to eating. Dad and mom were instantly locked in on her, waiting for a revelation but she just smiled sweetly at them. I wondered if it had something to do with Jack, and she nodded. Despite the necklace she wore to block her abilities she seemed to pick up on my thoughts easily.

"Melody, it's OK if you share." I said, but she shook her head.

"This is between you and Jack, Cain. Someone threatened to tell you something so he went away- It isn't my place, sorry. Besides, your sister shadow-walked him here, so he can tell you himself." I turned and looked out the window, she was right. Springheeled Jack was looking at me, utter misery etched on his handsome features.

I excused myself and went out to meet him. "Cain." He said, seeming to expect me to lash out.

"Jack!" I said, and I couldn't help but hug him like I used to when I was a little skeleton. His arms went around me protectively like they always did. All too soon though he was drawing back, his gaze mournful.

"You might not want to hug old Jack, not when you find out why he went away." He said sadly, pulling back. "But you deserve to know. I- Do you remember the night I left?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yes, we'd been on a case together at last and had just has solved it. We sat down on a park bench. The bad guy had upset me, so you let me cuddle into you like I used to."

"Right you are." He said, smiling briefly as he took his top hat off and ran his fingers through his shaggy black hair. "Well, I came close to telling you I was leaving that night, and couldn't. I'm- I'm married, Cain." He said, the stress of telling me showing on his face.

"That's wonderful news!" I exclaimed and tried to hug him again, but he held me off.

"Cain, do you remember Charles? You met him when you were little, and maybe a time or so after at the diner Reba runs." He said gravely and I nodded, confused. "He's- He's the one I married. Only came back to tell you that, Cain. I've always loved you like a friend, as my best friend. You and I never became partners when you were little but your parents were kind enough not to tell you. No one told you and no one judged me, but I hardly felt it proper me bein' your partner when people might say things, terrible things."

I couldn't stand it any more, I hugged my best friend fiercely. "I love you too, Jack! And it doesn't matter to me who you marry, just so long as you love him. You do love him, right?" I asked, holding his hands and Jack smiled gently, then nodded.

"I do. Sorry I wouldn't tell you sooner, but I couldn't bear the thought of loosin' you. It was a surprise on both of us, it was, but we had an instant connection, like. Then, I'll stay, but only if I know I'll still have my friend, and poppet. But she already knows and brought us here. Beat you back to the table, she did." He tilted his head and I saw Valkyrie attempting to hug Melody to death.

I tilted my head and Jack walked in with me, diverting me by the elbow to a table in a shadowy area. A man I only faintly remembered sat there, but there was no forgetting his charm or kindness. He wore a necklace like mine, but I saw easily through the illusion to the gentle expression beneath. He held Jack for a moment in greeting, then turned his gaze on me. "Hello, Cain." Charles said warmly. "I can't believe how much you've grown. I take it Jack's told you, so now you know." He said gently and I nodded feeling tears well up in my eye sockets.

"I think it's wonderful you both found someone. Would you like to meet Melody?" I asked and they nodded. The staff didn't mind us joining tables and Charles immediately grabbed Melody in a bear hug.

"Mel! Thought it was you! So all the traitors were shipped to Ireland, were we?" He teased and she laughed. "We were in the same group during the war." He explained to the table as they resumed their seats. "Mel is the one who saved my life, and drug me off the battlefield. I'm ashamed to say I wasn't grateful."

Melody just smiled and patted his hand. "Water under the bridge, OK? No harm done." Jack looked at her for the longest time, then smiled shyly at last.

"You saved him? Just like that?" He asked.

Melody shrugged. "Of course. Why not? Besides I wasn't ever in much danger. It isn't like I'm a hero or anything."

Charles snorted. "No, never any danger. That's why you were on your deathbed after that. You're not immortal, Mel. You did something, absorbed some of the attack. I know you did." She gave him a small smile and shrugged again. Melody was intensely private, and she hid her injuries well. Dad, seeming to sense she disliked talking about the war as much as he did gently changed the subject.

"It's good to see you out and about, Charles, and married. Do you two have a place picked out?" He asked and both men looked rather vague. I realized then they had nowhere to go. Of course they didn't.

"You can stay at the mansion as long as you want." I offered and Jack looked surprised. I looked away, embarrassed, hoping I hadn't offended him somehow by assuming he'd want more time with me. "It's more or less mine and Val's now, so, if you don't mind?" I looked at Val and she was on the edge of purring, instead she gave one of her happy squeaks of approval.

Dad nodded his approval as well and the men seemed still. Dad sighed. "Jack, if you don't tell him at last, I will." He said and Jack looked ready to bolt. Dad grabbed his hand firmly and looked at me. "Jack's always seen you as his own son, Cain. We never told you to respect his wishes, but I think it is high time you knew."

"Jack." I said softly. We went back outside together, ignoring the curious stares and found a quiet place to talk. "Jack." I repeated and he looked near tears. He was trembling as if he expected me to reject him. I knew why. It wasn't a fear that I'd judge the crimes he'd committed, or even that ignorant, shallow people found him too ugly to look at. It was because he'd come out to me, and he'd been afraid, terrified all these years of being a gay man who wanted a son of his own to love and nurture. "Jack, I'd be honoured to have you as a father, any young man would." I said, and he drew me tightly to him, making a high, frightened whining sound of grief and fear.

"You don't know how hard it was, Cain. Loving you like my own son and never tellin' you. Your father insisted I should, but he doesn't understand. I'm a monster, I know that's what I am. I have no right to a son of my own."

Tears filled my eye sockets and I held him tightly. "You're not a monster, all right, dad?" I asked, daring to refer to him as my father and feeling a reassuring pat from him in reply. "I mean it." I aid as we parted. "You've never been a monster, ever. That you've found a husband who find you handsome and adores you should tell you that."

Jack smiled, then broke into a grin. He nodded and we walked back in. "You're both moving in, right?" Val asked and at his quick glance to Charles then nod she did one of her happy squeaks, then blushed.

"Where's Tesseract?" I asked and she smiled slightly and blushed again. It turned out that he was fast asleep in his trailer. I knew Val was too frightened to ask him to move in and even more frightened to move in with him. We both needed a talk with mom since being kept away from our future spouses when not working was making us miserable.

It must be a mom's job to know because she steered us both home with her and dad. Luckily Melody understood and we agreed to meet for dinner that night. As soon as mom had us in their office, having banished dad, we both lost it, and were clinging to her like the frightened skeletons we were.

Maybe some people might think we'd want our father to give us advice, but, as much as we loved him, his advice about important things was usually rubbish. Mom calmed us, making coffee for us all. "You're frightened about your wedding nights, aren't you?" She asked.

"We've never-" I said lamely and Val squeaked plaintively and clung tighter to mom.

"It's OK, you know." She said gently as she scooped me into her arms as well. "I never either. And if you really, truly love the people you marry, you'll find a way to show them, ok?"

"Mom! Gross!" Valkyrie complained and mom laughed.

"But we're skeletons and, well-" I faltered.

"I'm a skeleton." Dad's voice drifted to us from the doorway. "And I can give you all sorts of useful advice that will give you mental images to scar you the rest of your life. But your mother is right. You will find a way, both of you." He said, walking over to take us from mom and hold us close.

"You want to know when you can start living together, don't you?" He asked gently and we both nodded meekly. "Now is fine by us, and whether you wait to consummate or not is up to you." Mom burst out laughing and we couldn't leave the office fast enough. I have no idea what she thought was so funny.

* * *

Valkyrie and I were only too happy to spend the rest of the day together. We'd both agreed to wait and see how our future spouses felt. We were both very young and we were both very scared that suggesting living together might be taken the wrong way. When we at last parted we agreed to update one another. Melody of course knew something was wrong as soon as I picked her up for dinner. "What's the matter?" She asked as we settled into our table at the restaurant. I shrugged, then decided I could tell her part of the truth.

"Val's having trouble that's all. She isn't ready for anything, but she's frustrated waiting for Tesseract to ask her to move in with him. Or to at least park the trailer near the mansion." I sighed.

"Then she has to ask. I'm not being mean, Cain. Tesseract is older and he might be frightened to make the first move. And he might be afraid if the do move in and sleep together that there will be no reason to marry him. He's different, he just might be afraid that if they aren't married and he fails to please her-" She shrugged and broke off.

"But Val's not ready for anything." I protested.

"Does he know that?" She asked gently. "Has she told him what she'd like right now? And if this is you way of asking, yes, I'll move in, but to my own room thank you kindly. I'm not ready for anything either, Cain. And I don't want to mess up what we have."

I felt joy flood through me, but also a shiver of fear. "You do want to marry me, right?" I asked.

"Of course I do, sweetheart. But I also want to wait for our wedding night. I'm a virgin and I just want to wait, OK?" I nodded, slightly dizzy. I'd never had thought that she wasn't experienced. She looked at me in concern. I wanted to say something, to reassure her I had the nobelest of intentions, but the very thought that I'd be the first lover she'd ever had made me dizzier still. I couldn't do it, I couldn't ruin her. She deserved to be with someone whole, someone normal. These thoughts raced through my mind and suddenly the world went black.

* * *

I cam to in Melody's sheltering arms as she carried me into the mansion. I was mortified and sure she wouldn't want me now, but Valkyrie directed her to my bedroom and she tenderly put me under the covers and tucked me in. I tried to protest, but I felt too weak to move. Valkyrie appeared over Melody's shoulder and Melody left us alone. Valkyrie looked at me and I heard a soft sigh come from her.

She sat on the edge of the bed and peered at me. "The good news is Melody works fast. Tess is here for me, though we've agreed he'll stay in the RV. I'd like to sleep in there, but he admitted he's worried things will go too far, he wants to wait, for my sake. I told him the truth, that I was a virgin." She said shyly, blushing and dipping her skull.

"I fainted. Melody told me the truth, and I _fainted_. What kind of man faints?" I asked miserably. "She doesn't want me now, does she?"

"Big bro, she got you here. She carried you here, she is outside the door waiting to see if you are OK. Would she do any of that if she didn't love you?"

"But I fainted."

Melody who had joined us, looked amused. "Sweetie, I've seen men get sick on women when they find out. It's a lot of stress on you." She said soothingly. She helped me sit up and handed me a cup of coffee, pretty much our solution to everything.

"Gross!" Valkyrie whined, then giggled. "Really?" She asked, clearly wanting in on all the good gossip.

"Yup, really. Your brother did just fine. It's normal when a man loves a woman for him to be frightened and stressed out over the wedding night just as much as we are." Val nodded and I waved them both out for girl talk. I knew she had questions she'd rather have Melody answer than anyone else, and despite the coffee I was sleepy.

Tesseract entered and I sensed his smiled behind his mask, but I knew it was friendly. "She frightened you, didn't she? My little Valkyrie terrified me when she told me. But they chose us, we have to remember that."

"But, what if I hurt her?" I asked, truly frightened I would.

"We can be gentle when we need to be, Cain. We are men, not animals. You are waiting for your wedding night to be special, yes?" He asked and I nodded. "There. You see? You will not hurt her any more than I will hurt my little Valkyrie. Your father already gave me a rather frightening speech." He grinned and I groaned in embarrassment.

"Are you going to be happy with her, Tesseract? It's none of my business, but without a full body facade- Sorry, I just want my sister happy." I looked down and he made a soothing noise.

"Not all women can, Cain. Not all men can, but if they are loved it makes no difference. We will adapt, as you will. I do not wish to give you a reason to hit me, but I'd rather be with your sister than any other woman in the world." He looked amused and I groaned and looked away. He laughed softly and told me to take care and went out. Soon the events of the day caught up with me and I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next day Melody shook me awake gently, having a breakfast tray ready for me. Two, in fact, so she could eat with me and I obliged her by scooting over. "Mel, you didn't have to cook." I protested. She kissed me gently then smiled softly at me.

"Yes, I did. No one told your parents yet and I don't think we need to. You're a sweet man to care, Cain. And I mean that. Some men would just take advantage or not think anything of it. You're very sweet, but that's why I love you." She said and I felt myself blushing.

"I just don't want to hurt you, Mel. It scares me, the idea of hurting you. I love you so much-" I broke off and she rubbed my back soothingly then talked me into trying the truly excellent eggs Benedict.

"You have to teach me this recipe, I insist. I want to return the favor and soon." I said and she smiled shyly.

"I already had an audience with your sister. She's insisting we spend girly time together and I love it. I've really never had any close friends before. I've always been bigger and well, girls and women can be shallow or befriend you from pity, and I didn't want that." She shrugged off her bad memories and smiled at me. "We girls are going shopping today and out to lunch and whatnot. I think we are meeting your mom so she can threaten me within an inch of my life." She laughed gently, but I didn't see what was so funny.

"Why would she threaten you?" I asked, moving on to some truly excellent berries in cream.

"Cain, honey, you're famous, and you come from a wealthy family. She just wants to be sure I don't have hidden motives and I love her for that. She's just being a good mom, Cain. You are her baby and she will always want to protect you." I nodded not having much to say to that. The women in my life seemed determined to protect me and I honestly didn't mind.

Melody soon left when a purring Valkyrie coaxed her out for the day, and I pitied her since she was letting Valkyrie drive. I'd only done it once and swore it was a religious experience. At least I remembered praying a lot that we wouldn't crash. Tesseract was in the kitchen waiting for me and he smiled to see me up.

"Your father is moving in today and I volunteered us to help. Some good physical work will cure what ails you." He said and I could hear the amusement in his voice. "Don't worry, it will help me as well, Cain." He gave me a manly pat with one of his massive hands and I had no idea how he didn't knock me down. We took his RV to collect Jack and Charles and we all decided to make a day of it as well.

It was nice, since I rarely got time to hang out with other men. Sure there was dad and Ghastly, but this was different. My mobile rang and I saw it was the younger Ghastly. I hesitated to answer, since I thought he might still want to kill me for not dating Tanith. "Hello?" I asked tentatively.

"Hey, congrats bro, and I mean it. I'm happy you two are getting married. Tanith couldn't be happier about Anton and I have Calico Jane so it all worked out. I'm really sorry for how I reacted when you weren't interested. Still friends?" He asked hopefully.

"You know it. If you aren't busy why don't you come over to the mansion? Just us guys all day long." I said and he jumped at the chance. Soon his van pulled up and we got to spend the rest of the day bonding with the other men. To someone who was so willingly isolated as I'd made myself at times, it was wonderful.

* * *

 **So there you have it, the requested chapter from Cain's POV. Hopefully back to Val and Skul and some more spice next chapter. As always, reviews help greatly and are much appreciated.**


	67. Chapter 67

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Erskine, Tesseract or Lord Vile. Sorry to take so long to update, but this long, bitter winter has taken the stuffing right out of me.

* * *

I woke up next to Skulduggery and snuggled in close. We'd decided to sleep in, a rare treat but one we liked to enjoy after big events. And seeing Cain and Val getting settled into the mansion with Tesseract and Melody had been our every wish come true and a big event for both of us. I was happy for our children and relieved they had found someone at a young age like I had. The soft brush of skeletal fingers distracted me and I smiled at Skulduggery. "Morning, handsome." I purred.

"Wicked female, snuggled in so close to me." He responded and I giggled, then snuggled in closer, enjoying his gasp of delight. I touched his ribs ever so gently and he sighed happily and looked at me fondly. "Did I mention how happy I am that the kids are out of the house? Because I really am." He grinned and I laughed, the he continued in a softer voice. "I worried about them both, you know. I was so afraid they'd end up with people who didn't love them the right way. I remember how terrified I was when I realized I'd fallen in love with my best friend." The gaze in his hollow eye sockets was sorrowful so I pulled him into a lingering kiss.

He smiled when we parted and cradled me into his chest, his ribs warm from our embrace. "That's what I adore about you, Valkyrie Cain. You never let me or our children feel anything less than human just because we are skeletons. What say you to us going camping? We don't have a case and the children are squared away." He tilted his skull to look at me eagerly and I nodded, grinning.

Skulduggery always had good ideas, and we'd agreed not to just sit around the house and go stagnant now that the kids were grown up and cases had slowed down. Of course I knew Skulduggery far too well not to sense a hidden agenda. The man could lie like a rug when he needed to, though he would point out he hadn't exactly lied, just not told me what we were really doing.

It was a couple days after Halloween, after all, hardly a time to go camping, especially in the mountains unless he had a cabin I didn't know about. True we'd camped out before, but in front of a fire under the stars. I'd never seen the man near a tent, come to think of it. "Are we getting supplies on the way?" I asked as I rose for my shower.

"Uh, we will be camping in a cabin. Get a shower, I'll dress and make coffee." He said and I nodded, then smiled to myself during my shower. This was no camping trip. Skulduggery was up to something and he trusted only me to know about it. I grinned to myself, knowing this meant he intended to get us both into trouble.

He met me in the kitchen, and the sight of him in his sharp suit and fedora almost left me as breathless as the fiery kiss he swept me into. I couldn't never get enough of the feeling of his sturdy ribcage, or how his teeth seemed to match my lips perfectly. I caressed his skull and was rewarded with a growl of desire. I pulled back, laughing and he smiled at me, tilting his head happily.

Skulduggery got our coffee mugs and jackets and soon we were on the road. As he drove he glanced over at me. "You know we aren't really going camping, don't you?" He asked and I nodded. "This isn't official, in fact the Sanctuary told us to leave it alone, but something is happening in the mountains to mortals and mages alike." He broke off to pull into a fast food eatery for take away, then resumed as we drove on. "People are just vanishing, or if they do come back, well, they've gone cannibal."

I frowned at my breakfast sandwich and hashbrown. "If we have an outbreak of cannibalism why forbid us from investigating?" I asked, determined to not let it ruin my appetite. Skulduggery of course had no such problems and happily ate his breakfast as I fed him.

"That's what I wondered as well. This is where I tell you the Sanctuary sometimes does horrible things for the greater good. This could be an magical or scientific experiment gone awry." He admitted.

"And we aren't letting the right people handle this because?"

"Because we _are_ the right people. Erskine just doesn't know that yet. Oh, we're officially fired since we're going and we can't count on the Sanctuary for help." He gave me a hopeful smile and I laughed.

"You know, in theory if the Grand Mage wanted to stop us he could have us arrested."

"He threatened as much. But mortals are involved and of course they are drawn to danger. Soon film crews will show up to investigate, then where will we be? I don't see the harm in us helping."

"Skulduggery, that is _exactly_ why. If you were exposed-" I trailed off. He didn't need reminded of my fears. That somehow mortals would capture him or the children. He wouldn't be the wonderful Skeleton Detective to them. He'd be something to experiment on.

"I know." He said and patted my shoulder gently. "But we both know I take the same risk every time I interact with mortals. Many have seen me, but so far our luck has held. I can't let this happen, not if my brother is involved."

"I'm sorry, your what? You told me your whole family was dead." I said, narrowing my eyes and gearing up to punch him.

"Because Prolix Loquacious is my younger twin brother. He's- The only thing he is good at is healing magic. I've stayed away on purpose to try and keep him out of harm's way, but he tracked me down anyhow. He's "helping"." Skulduggery said, hunching forward over the steering wheel in utter misery.

"You're worried about him, aren't you?"

"Indeed." He straightened up. "We are identical twins, or were. At least now you'll know what I looked like before I was burnt to a crisp." He added dryly. I had nothing to say to that that wouldn't start a fight so I just held his hand for the remainder of the drive.

* * *

It turned out that the only way Loquacious was involved was that his snug little cabin was twenty miles from the epicenter. Far too close for older and overly-protective Skulduggery's liking. He met us at the door and all I could do was stare. _This is what Skulduggery would look like if things had turned out differently._ I thought.

The same high cheekbones were in the face of the man greeting me profusely. I couldn't hear what he was saying as he pumped my hand then drew me into a hug, I was too distracted by the curly black hair that flowed slightly past his shoulders and the startling jade green eyes. And the voice, exactly the same. Loquacious peered at me, worried. "Are you all right, my dear? Was it something I said?"

"It's _everything_ you say." Skulduggery grumbled. "If you ever learned to shut up it would be a miracle. Mom should have sewn your mouth shut." Loquacious, instead of being hurt, just laughed, clearly delighted as he ushered us inside to matching chairs.

"I've missed your sense of humour, brother." He turned to me, smiling. "So this is the lovely partner at long last. Your his wife now, correct? And children?" I tried to answer but Loquacious was already forging on ahead to a new topic. "I would have attended the wedding but Skulduggery misplaced my invitation, of course he never invited me to your house, either, but that's because he's my brother and loves me. I'm quite the homebody." I just nodded.

I was considering fleeing the cabin screaming when Loquacious leaned forward and said something to Skulduggery that melted my heart. "Brother, please don't go. You're my big brother and if I loose you who will I have left?" He pleaded and Skulduggery looked touched.

"I'm already dead, little brother. I'll be all right, besides, I have Valkyrie to protect me." He said dryly and Loquacious turned to gaze at me worshipfully. He waved to me rather shyly and I waved back. I realized he'd need me to be far more gentle than I was with Skulduggery that he was being very brave just having two people in the same room with him and I felt a stab of pity for him.

"Help me in the kitchen, Val? Can I call you Val or is that too informal? Do you like Valkyrie better or Detective Cain? Valkyrie is simply a lovely name of course, but Val feels more friendly." He crinkled his eyes at me and I smiled.

"Val would be fine." I managed to say and he beamed delightedly at me. I follow him into a snug kitchen where he started coffee then looked at me, suddenly serious.

"Please don't let him go, Val. I lied and said I might get involved, hoping it would keep him away. Please, something is very wrong here, I can feel it."

"I thought you lied." We both jumped guiltily at Skulduggery voice. "You always were a rotten little brother." He said fondly. "Loquacious, you're in danger here, and we both know you aren't a fighter."

He said it kindly enough but Loquacious looked stricken. "I _want_ to be. I do want to be brave, I do." He looked at me.

"Loquacious, you're very brave to have us here." I began gently and he nodded, smiling tentatively. Something terrible had happened to the man, something that shattered his feelings of self worth. "And we're worried you might wander too close, trying to help. We aren't even supposed to be here." I admitted.

"Oh, intrigue." Loquacious sighed happily. "Do I get to help, please? I won't wander close to danger, I promise. But please?"

I looked at Skulduggery who shrugged. "Help me with the bags, dear?" He asked and I nodded. Outside he turned to me as the boot lid hid us from view. "He'll wander right into the thick of it. He means well, but he doesn't realize his curiosity will get him killed some day. Of course if we mention cannibalism he'll stay far enough away." He grinned cheerfully.

Inside Loquacious indeed looked horrified. "They eat meat? How terrible!" He covered his mouth instantly. "Not that I judge either of you, but that's repulsive. I just don't see how you can eat it. Ew." I laughed.

"You're vegan?" I asked.

"No, Val, just vegetarian, mortals get all fussy about it, making labels. I'd eat meat if I had to to survive, but I just don't like it. I can make you a lovely grilled cheese sandwich and some tomato soup, trust me, you won't starve here. Skulduggery was nice enough to tell me all the things you both like best and I can manage most of them." I nodded and murmured my thanks, then he was shooing us out of his kitchen, his need for my help, if he had needed it, forgotten.

He brought us coffee, humming to himself, then went back to the kitchen. I raised a brow at Skulduggery. "He either talks or hums. Not always of course, though he does talk in his sleep, thank you for not-" He mouthed 'judging him' and I nodded.

"Sharing secrets?" Loquacious called cheerily from the kitchen. "I like secrets too, you know."

"We're fired, how does that grab you?" Skulduggery said snarkily and I elbowed him one in the ribs. "And all over you, little brother." He added, then crossed his arms to smirk at me.

Loquacious popped his head into the room. "Good, then you can stay away from those horrible people." He said, then popped back out of view and I laughed.

* * *

" _Are_ we staying away from it?" I asked Skulduggery much later as we clambered into bed in the tiny guest room Loquacious had prepared for us. He sighed.

"I'd like to. I'd like nothing better than to trust everything won't blown out of control and magic won't be exposed, but the mortals are too close. You saw how many tourists are here in the off season, and tour goups, and amateur videographers. Any one of them could see things that shouldn't be seen and slip away unnoticed."

"We need the men in black." I said and he grinned at me.

"Don't they work with aliens? And they're American, remember?" He asked, sitting up interested.

"But Skulduggery, didn't you see the people with tinfoil hats handing out flyers?" The detective in me had made me grab a flyer and ask all sorts of questions, though Skulduggery had managed to look bored and not pay attention.

I showed him mine and he read it now with interest. "According to this there have been four more outbreaks like this, all in wooded areas and all government cover-ups. Well, well, look at that. They claim MIBs did show up to threaten witnesses, interesting."

"And there have been strange lights in the sky. Excluding government testing which they will deny, and magical citizens or monsters, where does it leave us?" I asked.

"A hoax. We don't know that anyone has actually been eaten, Valkyrie. I hate to point out the obvious, but it could be a sick and twisted prank, faked corpses and videos, or a very human serial killer who no doubt has now gone into hiding."

"You love pointing out the obvious, and if you thought there was no real outbreak we wouldn't be here." I countered and he sagged in defeat.

"I forgot how driven you are on a case. But we can't get near the crime scenes not without help. I suggest we withdraw tomorrow and take Loquacious with us to the Sanctuary. Twenty minutes of his motor mouth and Erskine will begging us to investigate." So we did.

* * *

Erskine sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. He waved the pamphlet at me. " _This_ is exactly why we told you two to stay away. You could have mortal stalkers now. That's all we need." He sighed again. "It isn't like we don't care, we do. But they are far too involved, let them fight their own wars, Val, please." I nodded. I was disappointed and I could feel a great case just out of reach, but he was right. We'd all end up as government tools or worse if magic was exposed and we all knew it.

Some mages felt mortal governments were well aware of us, but let us be as we didn't interfere in their own wars and goings on for ill or good. But now, of course, we had Loquacious to entertain, who'd gone suddenly quiet. Until of course, right at that moment. "So, we take the chance of magic being exposed if the killer is magical to avoid some fools with cameras. Pity, I thought mages could handle mortals. Sad to see how far the mighty Sanctuary has fallen." I stared at him with my mouth open, so did Skulduggery, the apparently wasn't the Loquacious he was used to.

"We have people." Erskine said tensely.

"Of course you do. I've seen them traipsing in and out for weeks. Those trenchcoats and rather blatant disguises are so very chic and several have gone native already. Saw one wandering around with a tinfoil hat on just the other day. But I'm sure of course, he's just undercover and hasn't been brainwashed by some cult into exposing magic." He said slyly.

"You three get back there now and handle this!" Erskine barked and we left his office with his backing and in high spirits. Loquacious was able to keep mum all the way to the car where Skulduggery promised take away, then he burst out excitedly, and somehow it didn't bother me. Skulduggery had explained that Loquacious just wasn't interested in people romantically, he was more cerebral, and I liked him sharing his comfort zone with us.

"I did well, didn't I, brother?" He asked and Skulduggery nodded. "Just like old times. Oh, you'd have loved us, Valkyrie. We were quite poor despite the family crest, and we had to be wily to survive. I remember the rather nasty farmer we convinced to pay us to take his chickens. They laid wonderful eggs, those chickens."

"Mmm." Skulduggery said, and chuckled. "Loquacious can talk to animals, I think that's why he doesn't eat them. He convinced them to act sickly after he promised they wouldn't be eaten and we honoured that promise. The man thought they were all dying of some deadly and highly contagious disease."

"Animals can talk?" I asked turning around to see Loquacious better.

"Not so much with words, but feelings. And yes, that's why I don't eat them. They've been warning me something is wrong because they know I'm their friend, oh, you two don't have to eat vegetarian, I truly don't judge. Truly, many of my animal friends eat one another, it's natural."

"No, we could do with the change." Skulduggery said, and it turned out the vegetarian version of our breakfast just meant putting veggie slices with the egg and cheese biscuits and it was quite good. I'd already checked and the particular items were vegetarian approved on a website so Loquacious was happy to try it.

My motherly intuition kicked in and I had Skulduggery order an extra sack of food and more coffee which he did, although he grumbled loudly over it. We hadn't driven far when my mobile rang. I knew without checking that it was Val. "Val, sweetheart, what is it?" I asked when I answered, my heart icing over and at her high-pitched wail I knew exactly what it was.

The reality that she was no longer a little girl now that she'd gotten engaged to Tesseract had just hit and my daughter was terrified. Skulduggery looked alarmed since he could hear her perfectly and pulled over at my motion. I got out and turned my back to him so he couldn't read my lips or hear Val's answer. "Mom! I just- I just- Dad had another family first and he doesn't love me." It broke my heart to hear her say this, but we all felt it. Skulduggery loved and adored us, but our knowledge that we weren't his first family sometimes frightened all of us.

I was making soothing motherly sounds and reassuring her that Skulduggery did love her very much when the mobile was yanked out of my hand. I turned to see a frantic Skulduggery. "Sweetheart, how can you think daddy doesn't love you? I miss my princess so much right now, but she's all grown up and doesn't need me anymore." They were both on the verge of tears so I took my mobile back gently and cradled Skulduggery into me.

"Grab your brother, sweetheart. We're coming for you." I ordered when Val confirmed they were at the mansion. I shadow-walked us both there, then we both took one of our offspring and shadow-walked back to an astonished Loquacious. He got out of the Bentley wanting to help and I intercepted him.

"Just give them a minute. They have a unique bond being skeletons, but, well, sometimes they think nobody wants them because they _are_ skeletons." I explained and he nodded gravely. Once introduced he held both of them in turn, soothing them with his calming voice.

"Hush now, little ones. You'll come be with us and stay in my cabin, it will be an adventure, that's what it will be. Come on then and cuddle up in the back with your uncle and have some lovely food and drink and all will be well with the world." I had no idea how all three fit back there other than the fact that Val was more lightly built, but fit they did and their indulgent uncle held them and soothed them for the remainder of the trip.

* * *

The children were amazed at the cabin, and overly indulgent uncle that he was Loquacious decided to camp out with them in the living room of course inviting us to join them on this grand adventure. I looked at Skulduggery who shrugged and we agreed. We would have both rather had a bed to sleep in, but Loquacious was charming and clearly trying to make up for lost time. I wondered if it was his instincts as a healer that made him take to the children, then he revealed something that shocked even Skulduggery.

"Did you know that sometimes, just sometimes twins can be connected so strongly that whatever happens to one is felt by the other?" He asked and Cain nodded.

"It happens for us too, sometimes." He said, looping a protective arm around Val.

"Well, with magic it can also mean that very rarely an attack on one works on the other. There's really no way to explain it, so-" He tapped his collarbones and what had been a facade so good that it had fooled all of us melted away revealing the skeleton beneath. He smiled benevolently at the children, clearly trying to show he meant no harm.

"Brother?" Skulduggery asked, clearly stunned. Loquacious smiled at him.

"Sorry I never told you, brother, but I died when you did and the very same way. It would seem what they did to you worked on my body as well and when they burned my cottage down as they had found me- Rather glad I was dead when _that_ happened. But as you chose to stay, so did I. I couldn't leave my older brother entirely alone at it really was a simple as choosing to stay."

Skulduggery looked stunned. "I'm so sorry. I would have never-" He faltered helplessly. "You told me you survived the fire." His voice sounded hollow.

"No, if you recall I told you I got out of the cottage. I just didn't tell you that it was in ashes at the time. Don't looked so shocked, brother. Would you have told me if everyone didn't already know you were a skeleton?" Skulduggery sighed.

"I suppose not." He admitted. "But that was rather sneaky of you all the same. I've taught you well." He said proudly. "Then what did you manage to steal when you innocently 'wandered off' at the Sanctuary, hmm?"

Loquacious smiled and produced several magical goodies that had clearly come from the vaults. He looked at me and smiled. "When I collapse the facade I can get into all sorts of nooks and crannies, that and being dead has allowed me to pick up all sorts of interesting abilities. Locks, for example, really don't work on me. I wonder if I've become an Adept of some sort." For a moment he sounded so much like Skulduggery, even down to the mannerisms it was scary, but then he blinked what served as his eyes and seemed to remember he was Skulduggery's younger, helpless brother.

Skulduggery for his part was praising him as I beckoned Val into the kitchen she held tightly onto me. "It will be all right, Val. We can never go back, you know. We have to go forward. I'll let you in on a secret. I was terrified when I married your father too because I knew it meant I wasn't a little girl and couldn't hide anymore. We never really grow up, you know, just older." I said and she laughed shakily. We set to making coffee and she smiled shyly at me.

"I knew you'd know the real reason, mom. It's just that Tess is centuries old. He could have children older than me and he won't talk about his past."

"Oh, yes he will." I dialed the big man's number from memory and gently but firmly told him in no uncertain terms he was going to be open with my daughter or I'd turn him inside out while he was alive and keep him that way. He chuckled at the threat then agreed and asked if he and Melody could come as well. I checked with Loquacious who looked overjoyed at the prospect of more family and agreed.

* * *

We were just bedding down for the night when a weary Melody and Tess arrived. I shooed Val out to the RV, giving Tess an even look and welcomed Melody with open arms. "Hey, thanks for having us. It isn't like we're family or anything." She said, smiling gently.

"Well, of course you are." Loquacious said, truly shocked at the idea she felt like anything less. He soon had her settled with coffee and brought out food and drink for all of us. "I like to indulge." He said with a happy shrug as he served us.

There was a knock at the door and Tess and Val joined us. She looked serene and I knew their troubles were solved. "This didn't happen by accident, nothing does." Skulduggery said as they settled in. "We're going to need all of us on this case. I don't know how it was found out, but patient zero as the Sanctuary is calling him spent time in the Canadian wilds."

"Not a wendigo. But they're just myth." I protested.

Skulduggery nodded. "That's what we thought as well, but they assure us wendigos are quite real. All the flashing lights were military testing of course and we have to close this case before the military moves in and blow innocent mortals away. A true wendigo is a spirit that either puts on a human form or goads humans into cannibalism. One roaming free in a cradle of magic? We've been lucky so far the mages that were attacked by friends and family recognized the danger, but we can't count on luck."

Tesseract tilted his head thoughtfully. "These creatures, they are skeletal with the flesh barely covering the bones, but the come from areas of great starvation. No offense to any of you, but this is not a country with desolate artic wilderness. If they are not near starvation, how are they turning, and is my sweet Kyrie safe?"

"We don't know." Skulduggery admitted. "We're technically dead, but alive enough to eat and heal, so we don't know. I'm thinking the wendigo adapted. Patient zero was already infected and looked normal when he returned to Ireland, but being turned he had to seek out a wooded area and prey. First they kill off the animals, then the humans. He is, as you say, skeletal or was until he was locked up. Starved of human prey, they die."

Loquacious looked fairly ill, but held up as we plotted out a course of action. Skulduggery had been in touch with Erskine and right now the woods were warded against mortals, but it couldn't be kept that way forever. In the morning we'd enter the woods to seek out our quarry. Being with the others meant we couldn't talk freely and not frighten anyone, but Skulduggery caught my worried look and held my hand as we drifted off to sleep.

Early the next morning we awoke and ate a quick breakfast. We were soon in the woods and Tesseract being the best tracker took the lead. He led us at a steady pace, clearly walking slower than normal for us, casting worried glances at Val who walked at his side on the broad path. He stopped suddenly. "We're close. No birds, no animal sounds? We're close." He led us to a cave, the outside littered with animal and human bones and stopped. "He knows we are here. Let him come to us." He murmured.

There were scraping sounds from inside the cave and sparks flew as if long nails were being drug across the surface. I let my armour flow over me and wished I hadn't. The creature was hideously ugly. Dead skin stretched tight over a wasted frame, worse that any starvation victim I'd ever seen. The eyes shone with a hellish light and the creature had sharpened its teeth into points. It carried a hunting spear made of human bone, but I doubted it really needed it.

It met my gaze and grinned an impossibly wide grin, the whole head seeming ready to split open. Then it laughed and the laugh turned into a scream. The scream grew louder and louder and I could feel the power of the attack rattling the bones of my armour. But Lord Vile had presented a present through Skulduggery on Halloween night and I reached inside my duster, ready to use it.

A metallic banded orb of glass that contained a green pulsing light. I got ready to throw it at the beast, but the Wendigo was gone in a flash, streaking upwards and into the trees, laughing. I turned to check on Melody and Tesseract and found them stunned, but otherwise unharmed. The hunt would continue.

* * *

 **OK I know, bad start, but I rather liked the ending. Wendigos are believed by some to be spirits that inhabit desolate places where humans are apt to starve. Some say they punish evildoers or can only turn wicked people, but others say the wendigos turn all starving humans into cannibals. Either way, this one is of the nasty variety. Reviews help greatly and I hope you liked it!**


	68. Chapter 68

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Lord Vile, Darquesse, Springheeled Jack, or anyone else you may recognize.

* * *

Melody let out a roar of frustration so loud that I looked at her in surprise, catching the fleeting instant when her eyes turned then went back to normal. It clicked then. I'd heard stories about a a young woman roughly my age during the war that had been experimented on. Experimented on so much that she was no longer fully human and fated to be forever trapped just as she had been. I felt a tender pity for her then and as Melody's eyes widened in a silent plea as they met mine I gave an imperceptible shake of my head. She was safe.

Cain would never find out, at least not from me. But from my quick glance around I realized everyone else had figured out her secret except Cain, who held her tightly in his arms speaking soothing words. "Sweetheart, it's all right. We'll get him next time." Skulduggery cleared his throat and we all looked to him.

"We won't track him down today and if we press he'll go into town and spread mayhem. Let's retreat for now. We have time yet." We all nodded and I fell behind the others to speak to him in whispers. "Territorial, an interesting response don't you think?" He murmured, inclining his head towards Melody. I nodded, knowing full well what he meant. Vampire.

Back at the cabin I could hear Cain's hurt voice as he and Melody talked in the guest bedroom. He abruptly opened the door and fled outside the cabin, clearly hurt. I followed him. "How couldn't you tell me mother, you knew, didn't you?" He asked me, clearly needing me to comfort him.

"I figured out just now. I know her story, Cain, but it is up to her to tell you." He looked ready to cry and I sighed. As a woman I wanted to hit him for abandoning Melody when she needed him most. But as his mother I knew how he felt. I hadn't handled finding out about Lord Vile all that well and my heart broke for him and for poor Skulduggery who had to be reliving the same memories at that moment.

"Cain, if Melody hadn't known you were a skeleton, would you have been frightened to tell her?" I asked gently. His jaw worked weakly and I knew his answer was yes. "She loves you, Cain. She came to me for permission to see you. I knew she was older, about my age, but that didn't matter to me as long as she loved you and you loved her." He sagged, and I took him into my arms, feeling sorry that I'd witnessed the last bit of his childhood being snatched away.

He shook his head sadly. "I don't know what to think. She lied to me!"

I rubbed his back soothingly in response. "No, she didn't tell you. Do you think I'd have found out about Lord Vile if the bad guy hadn't told me? I love you, Cain. But you are a lot like your father. You want the world to be perfect, for people to be perfect with no shadows in them. I think we both know that isn't possible."

"I want to go home. I need to be alone, to think." He said brokenly. And I knew then how serious he was about Melody. She wasn't just his first romance and a woman good enough to marry. He wasn't settling. She was his One as Skulduggery was mine and I felt a lump form in my throat as tears misted my eyes.

"No, you don't want to go home, Cain. I know you better than that. What you really want is to go back into that cabin and tell the woman you're madly in love with that you are frightened and wish you'd found out differently. I don't blame you sweetheart; there were a lot of things about your father that made me want to run away and never see him again. In fact, I tried to on the day he needed me most, only your uncle Gordon stopped me." I paused blinking back happy tears. I'd never shown Gordon the appreciation he deserved and I made a mental note to do just that.

I continued, rocking Cain gently. "Your father and I got lucky, Cain. For as many times as we both ran away fate kept reuniting us and it doesn't always happen that way, sweetie. I don't want you loosing a wonderful girl like Melody. I'm going back in, you come in when you're ready, OK?"

"But I said terrible things to her, I called her a monster." He sniffed and buried his skull in my neck as he had when he was little. "And she didn't even call me anything back. I love her." He wept and I held him a while, then gently let go. He was a man now and as hard as it was for me to face as a mother, he had to solve this problem on his own. I could only hope Melody loved him enough to forgive him.

* * *

Cain didn't follow me and Melody looked depressed when I returned to the cabin. I waved her into the kitchen. "I'm so sorry, Mel. I look at you like another daughter, kind of weird since we're about the same age, so maybe sister friend is a better word." She smiled shyly.

"I thought he loved me." She said softly as we started to make coffee. "He called me- He called me a monster."

"I know. My son is about as tactful as his father, and a living skeleton. It was kind of you not to return hurt for hurt." I said gently, knowing she was too warm-hearted to, then hugged her tightly. "This doesn't change anything, you're still family, Mel. Cain is a spoiled price in a lot of ways. We thought we did a good job but we were way too easy on him, on them both. I saw his arrogance, his vanity, he has a lot of our worst traits. But despite that, he's man enough to admit when he's wrong. He loves you, he'll come in, you watch." I gave her a reassuring smile, it was the best I could do.

Melody was going to reply when a frightened Cain joined us, twisting his hat in his hands. "I'm so sorry, Mel. Mom." He said miserably, head bowed and tears streaming from his hollow eye sockets. Mel to her credit, stood her ground.

"Not good enough, Cain. You can have your ring back, I deserve better." She didn't say it hatefully, just a statement of fact. She removed the ring and curled his gloved hand around it. This was it. When Cain would prove he was mature enough to be married or crumble.

"I deserved that." He said, raising his skull to look at her. "I did. I was childish and stupid. I love you, Mel, you know that. But I'm terrified out of my mind that I can't take care of you or give you a family. Don't you realize that? It has nothing to do with you- You're perfect, I swear. Please forgive me?" He'd drifted closer to her as he talked and took her in his arms, when they kissed I left the room to give them privacy.

All eyes were on me as I entered the living room and I smiled at my family. Mel joined us, Cain trailing behind her, holding her hand. She was wearing her ring again and I said a silent prayer of thanks. Melody held up a hand before anyone could speak. "I want to tell you all the truth, the absolute truth, even though I know when I'm finished Cain might want his ring back." She glanced at Cain who looked at her beseechingly. I knew he wanted the truth and was proud of him for facing it.

"Melody, you don't have to do this in front of all of us if you don't want to." I protested, but she shook her head.

"I do want to. During the war I was experimented on. I've- I've always had trouble with my weight, I was the size you see me at now back then. A lot of my Adept magic might be connected to my weight, or at least the American Sanctuary scientists thought so. They had me volunteer for tests, promising me a cure and to keep my powers. I wanted to be beautiful, I never realized they meant to keep me this way forever." She said, tears streaming down her face and right then I wanted to kill them for lying to her.

"I guess a small part of me knew better, but I consented. It didn't take long before I realized they wanted to make a super-soldier out of me and release me on Irish soil." She sounded disgusted. "I wanted to fight them, but they kept me bound in a cell much like in your jails, my powers were useless. But they had a back up plan for when the experiments failed." She sounded bitter. Cain stroked her hair and back slowly, reverently, she shivered, then continued.

"There was a vampire on our side, so ancient he predated all modern vampires. It turns out what we call vampires are really the unstable mutations from a vampire and human mating. So they wanted to see what would happen if the blood of a pure vampire could be injected into an Adept with just the right abilities. It didn't work, so they decided to lock us in one cell." She hung her head in shame and Cain growled protectively.

Mel laughed sadly. "He was the one decent vampire I've ever met. And he pitied me. He knew they would kill us both in the end so he gave me all of his powers and abilities to be able to avenge him and myself."

"Did you love him, my dear?" Loquacious asked softly.

"No." Melody said. "I wanted to because he was the first man ever to see me as a woman and not an animal. He didn't treat me like I belonged in a freak show. I did love him, in a way and I'll never forget him, but no, I wasn't in love with him. You know the stupid thing? I never knew his real name. They called him Count Orlock after the horror movie and he was fine with that." She shrugged sadly and we all looked at Cain.

"What aren't you telling us?" Cain asked gently.

"He- He kissed me before he gave over his powers. He said I was his bride as I was the only woman he'd ever met who didn't fear him." Tears shone in her eyes. "I'm so sorry Cain."

"One kiss, that's it?" Cain asked and she nodded. "Mel, I wouldn't have cared if you'd have married him and had his baby. What makes you think I'd turn you away for that?" Mel glanced furtively at me and I sighed.

"That would be my fault, Cain." I said grimly. "Apparently even people in America knew I "dated" a vampire while I was supposedly seeing Fetcher. One kiss, one lousy kiss and I became the bad girlfriend." I growled and Loquacious looked delighted.

"Oh. I heard about that too. I thought 'Good for her! Who wouldn't want a dreamy vampire instead of a dippy boy with stupid hair?'" We all laughed and the tension and misery in the room evaporated. Loquacious was proving to be invaluable and I only hoped we'd keep in contact when the case was over.

* * *

Early the next morning we were out in the woods again, awaiting the arrival of a member of the American Sanctuary. He was arriving via teleporter and I wondered why only one agent was coming. The pair suddenly appeared, the teleporter instantly jumping away from the huge man in the black robe and teleporting out of sight. The hooded figure raised it's head to look at us, the face hidden in shadows I couldn't see into, even when I let my armour flow over me.

I dimly sensed that the children and had as well and Skulduggery had his gun pointed at the figure before us. I didn't blame the teleporter for running. There was something menacing about the figure. A Necromancer perhaps, but it was more like standing in the presence of evil incarnate. I couldn't be sure, but the gaze from within the black hood seemed to be fixed intently on Melody.

Dimly I was aware that mist was starting to roll in and the sky was darkening rapidly. What in God's name had the American Sanctuary sent us? Was this a trap? The start of a new war? At long last the hooded figure spoke. He addressed us all but the deceptively soothing voice was clearly meant only for Melody. "I apologize if I startled anyone. That wasn't my intent." He rose bone white hands that ended in long sharp nails and pushed back his hood. The face he revealed was so unearthly in its beauty yet held such cruelty that I knew instantly that he was a vampire. "My bride." He said to Melody and I could see she was already entranced as he held out his hand to her in a elegant gesture.

As she approached I studied him. The vampire looked like what you'd expect from older movies. He was pale, his eyes locked on Melody intently and as he smiled he revealed razor-sharp fangs. I realized he meant to take Melody as his bride, but this wasn't my battle. Still, I knew vampires were only capable of obsession, not love and I readied myself to attack. "But you're dead. I saw you die." She whispered, closing the gap and he took her hands in his.

I'm sure the vampire had a wonderful answer, but at that moment the was a sound like a thunder clap and I turned to watch Cain's armour morph from Lord Vile's plain black armour into something far worse. This was far larger and much more skeletal then even mine and evil emanated off him in his writhing shadows. Another crack and Val had changed as well. My sweet little babies had more of Lord Vile and Darquesse in them than I ever expected and I was proud of them.

"Let go of my wife." Cain ordered and the vampire, clearly not used to orders looked up, he flashed his fangs in challenge and the children started to circle him like winter-starved wolves. They were going to kill him, the quite possibly go on a blood-soaked rampage and as my own darkness settled over me I really didn't care. I started to rise off the ground, preparing to attack from above.

"Enough!" I looked over at Skulduggery, not really surprised that he was now Lord Vile. The voice that gave the order sounded like it came from beyond the grave and it instantly froze all of us. Only Loquacious and Tesseract seemed unfazed. Melody, her trance broken, looked ready to have a heart attack. She looked at me and screamed.

I blinked in surprise and Val, now back to normal cleared her throat. "Mom, your eyes. You lost the armour and went Darquesse." I blinked again, felt myself sliding back into normalcy.

"Sorry, but you two were in danger. You know how I get." I said with a shrug. Lord Vile stayed as he was, even with everyone else backing down and reverting to normal. That wasn't good.

"Who do you choose?" He asked, staring at Melody like he'd kill her no matter what she answered and I knew he most likely would. Hurting his family never brought out the best in him. She could only point to Cain and I moved, putting myself into Lord Vile's direct line of attack.

"Vile, it's over. Cain's more of a man than that vampire ever will be. She chooses him. We need the vampire to get rid of the wendigo. After that you can do whatever you want with him." I offered and he nodded then turned to address the vampire.

"If you so much as look at my wife I'll rip out your still-beating heart and feed it to you, understood?" He asked and the vampire nodded. The sun came back out the mist retreated, he was clearly done with trying to take Melody back or intimidate anyone. Then Lord Vile was Skulduggery again. But it was there in his hollow eye sockets. The reminder that he was still Lord Vile and I wondered if he could contain himself long enough to finish the case.

* * *

The vampire had made arrangements to stay in town and he left after agreeing to return that evening to help begin the hunt anew. Skulduggery watched him steadily as he left down the wooded trail, clearly not trusting him, but then his hatred for vampires was legendary. The only thing that had saved Melody's life was the fact that she wasn't actually a vampire, powers or no powers.

Vampires after all didn't have to eat or sleep and she did both. Though as she helped me look in the cupboards for something for dinner I wondered if she could eat after her fright. I was used to Lord Vile's level of rage and my own. I'd forgotten how badly it could frighten people. But I thought that what had really scared her was Cain. "Are you all right?" I asked and she shrugged and smiled wanly.

"Cain would never hurt you, you know that." I said gently.

"I know, but he's always so sweet and gentle with me. I didn't know he had that side to him."

"He's Lord Vile's son, and the son of Darquesse. I'm surprised he didn't go on a rampage." Skulduggery said from the doorway. I mouthed the words 'shut up, Skulduggery' at him behind Melody's turned back and he waved a hand at me dismissively. Sometimes I wanted to kill that man.

Seeing he had a captive audience when Melody turned, Skulduggery continued. "You have to realize that about him, Melody. He'd never hurt you, but that armour is as much a part of him as the temper he got from Darquesse. I say from her because she learned to control herself a lot faster than Lord Vile ever did. Vile would have killed everyone instantly in the old days." He sounded fondly nostalgic and I sighed. I wouldn't blame Melody for running away screaming.

But instead she surprised me. She went into the living room with me trailing after, and we found a doting uncle trying to soothe Cain's frayed nerves. "You were truly magnificent, every inch a warrior in those woods." Loquacious said proudly a wistful note in his voice. I realized then that lunacy ran on both sides of his family. We were all praising him for finding his inner Lord Vile when someone should have been cautioning him. I looked at Tesseract who just shrugged and Val giggled.

"Bad children, bad. Attacking the poor vampire, bad." I said playfully, then we were all laughing, the stress of the day making us giddy. Melody took one look at Cain and I knew she had chosen him. I sighed in relief, the possibility of my son going on a killing spree at least temporarily averted.

"I'm so sorry, Cain. I don't love him, I swear! But he had this strange power-" She trailed off and he nodded.

"Vampires can enthrall their victims, Melody. I saw the rage in his eyes when he noticed your ring and his fangs grew ever so slightly. Whatever he was going to do to you was going to be bloody and violent. You said he was kind?" He asked skeptically.

"He's changed." She said with a shiver. "If it even was him. It could be a Remnant inside a vampire's body, couldn't it?" That was a good question. Vampires were both dead yet alive, the undead as some called them. They required or at least lusted after blood yet were immortal which should have meant a need for no sustenance. It was all rather confusing. Skulduggery emerged from the kitchen.

"How about we all go out to eat, hmm?" He asked.

"I know a great steakhouse." Loquacious offered and we turned and looked at him. "You all need your regular diet, and well, this is one of those rare emergencies where I'll join you. I'm not giving up on my principles, but it reminds me of when my big brother would bring game home." He said, looking at Skulduggery in utter awe. He was, I realized even more loving towards his brother having seen Lord Vile than ever before.

The children definitely got lunacy from both sides of the family and I liked it just fine.

* * *

The steakhouse seemed wonderful when we arrived, the aroma of cooked meat making my mouth water. I was never going to be much of a vegetarian, but at least we'd go back to trying after tonight for Loquacious's sake, I promised myself.

He seemed content to settle in the huge booth and I realized our family had expanded yet again to include him. There was no question of him living alone, ever again. I just wondered if he'd end up with one of the children or with us. Of course, he did have Skulduggery's independent streak and might want to back to his solitude but I didn't think he did. No now, not with children to fuss over, even if they were grown.

We gave our orders and Cain sighed then shivered. He'd never been in war, much less killed anyone and I think he was frightened having come so close and so easily over Melody. "You did fine." Skulduggery said gently. "Your first time that close? You did fine." We all knew what he meant and nodded supportively.

Val made one of her happy squeaks. "We both did good, didn't we?" She asked happily and I nodded.

"Yes, you did, sweetie. You saw a threat and you responded, yet you kept in control. As much as we dislike our new ally we're stuck with him until the case is finished. Though I don't see how he will be much use either."

"He can track the wendigo, connect their minds, even control it." Melody answered. "Whatever that thing was, it was not the man, well vampire I knew." I was thankful at that point that Loquacious had picked a safe haven for mages. "He might be here to use it, hopefully to take it away with him."

"But they multiply. I don't like the idea of a vampire with a possible army." Tesseract mused.

As if to prove his point a man ran into the steakhouse, clearly in the final stages of turning wendigo. He was skeletal, with his too tight skin stretched almost to bursting over his bones and his eyes were feral. The wendigo leapt at a huge man at the bar with his back to us. I couldn't make out the potential victim from the shadowy gloom but as he tilted his head towards his attacker I swore I recognized him. The man turned, his hardened nails catching the creature in the throat and it went down mortally wounded. The man stepped into the light, knelt down and grabbed the wendigo by the head and twisted savagely after his nails did some rather nasty cutting work.

The head came off, and the light flickered out of its eyes. The man grinned and giggled manically, then rose smoothly to doff his top hat to us all after slamming the head on the bar as his idea of a tip. I looked at him in surprise. It was Springheeled Jack but he looked centuries younger. Marriage was agreeing with him. He picked up his coffee and strolled over to us and we made room.

"Evenin', poppet, Cain." Jack said to the children, settling in with a weary sigh and placing his order. "I knew somethin' was up, didn't know what when you two went missin' then on a case. The other's will be here soon." I was about to ask what others when the doors opened again. Erskine entered with Charles and Cleavers followed, taking the body away swiftly. The barman cleaned up the mess without comment and I got the idea the bar's patron's were used to that level of violence.

Chairs were brought and we all managed to find space for he plates that started to arrive. Loquacious had changed his mind at the last moment and got his usual vegetarian platter, but nobody pointed it out. For a while nobody spoke, everyone was eating, hungry from the day's events, and enough food was diverted to the newest members of our group that we all ordered more.

Erskine looked terrible. I could tell the trip had worn on him. He drank his coffee and ate the food that had been happily placed before him, then ordered enough for ten men and I wondered when he'd eaten last. Then the door opened again and I saw why. The Dead Men had arrived.

* * *

 **A bit short, I know, but I wanted to give you a cliff hanger. And no, I never plan on having the Dead Men in a story, they just sort of happen to wander in and take over. I obviously don't own them or Erskine either. As always, reviews are welcome.**


	69. Chapter 69

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Erskine, Ghastly, Anton, Lord Vile, Darquesse, Tanith, Saracen, Tesseract, Dexter, Dusk, Springheeled Jack or Bily-Ray.

* * *

As we gathered in the cabin that night Cain and Val took me aside. ""We want to fight." Cain said.

I sighed. "That's not how the Dead Men do things, Cain. First there will be a meeting, a leader elected, then we will see. You're very young."

"But you were younger when you went to war." Val protested. I was going to respond but Erskine walked over to us, clearing his throat.

"We're ready." He said gently. I nodded and we all gathered in the now crowded living room. Erskine called for order. "All right, if there are no objections I move that the Dead Men reunite for this battle." We each got to vote, well, those of us who were Dead Men, then elected a leader. "I nominate Skulduggery for leader in the field." Erskine said and we all agreed. I watched the others carefully. Anton looked tense and I knew he was well aware he may be leaving a young woman behind forever.

Skulduggery looked at all of us. "Thanks to my superior hearing I know my offspring wish to fight in this battle. They've been trained by both of us and by Lord Vile and Darquesse as well." I arched a brow at this, but said nothing. Everyone there know that's who we were, but they made no comment. "This will be their first war." He continued, "But then Valkyrie fought in a war with us at a younger age and somehow managed to survive."

There were snorts of laughter, then it was put to a vote. Ghastly voted yes with a sigh. "You are my grandchildren, you know." He said, looking at them wearily.

Erskine also voted yes, adding that he remembered holding them as babies and I caught the theme. Soon we'd all agreed, but added such fond memories that we were sure the children would be guilted into backing down and spare us from burying them. They didn't.

Skulduggery's vote was last and he stared at them both for the longest time. All it would take was his refusal and they'd have to go home. But we all knew the truth. They'd be safer with us on the battlefield than anywhere else and at last he nodded yes. A sense of relief filled the room and battle plans were drawn. Cain looked faintly bored as the meeting wore on and Val swatted him. "Save it for tomorrow." I growled.

They seemed about to object when all the Dead Men stared at them, their expressions stony. Anton spoke. "I wasn't aware we were taking children into battle." The icy tone from the man they loved like an uncle did the trick and they settled down.

Anton turned to Skulduggery. "Are Lord Vile and Darquesse making an appearance? And if we have them, why bother with anyone else?"

Skulduggery answered. "Because they work like scatter guns. And if they missed the vampire or even one wendigo in their attack, as unlikely as that might be, the enemy might have a response we don't know about. Remember, they can both still die, supposedly immortal or not." He shot me a glance of apology and I shrugged.

I'd thought as Darquesse I'd made Tanith and Ghastly immortal, that I myself was immortal, but who really knew? Anton nodded. "Fair enough. And you're right. We're expecting them to show up and solve all our problems, but even they can't, can they?" I heard the slightest tremor in his voice and he excused himself to call his fiancee, Tanith, daughter of the elder Tanith and Ghastly. Ghastly sighed.

"War is Hell." He said. "I could use some tea, any takers?" We all nodded and I rose with him. I knew who'd rather have coffee. I looked at Melody as I rose and she smiled wanly. She and Tesseract would help, but the Dead Men tended to be clannish. We hadn't even welcomed the children as members and I didn't think we would.

* * *

The next day at dawn we arose and saw to breakfast. The children, still cowed from Anton's harsh words were unusually quiet, but he'd done the same thing to me during the war. He hadn't meant to be cruel. They needed to toughen up and be ready for anything and if some hurt feelings made them better fighters than so be it. But he seemed disturbed when they only solemnly nodded when he greeted them in the morning.

"Cain, Val." He said gently. "If you two are going to fight in wars and go on missions as Dead Men you have to be tough and have discipline. We all tore into your mother one one occasion or another during the war, but we had to. There's no room out there today for not having heard something because you were goofing off." They nodded.

"We apologize." Val managed, then she squeaked happily and started digging into her breakfast with gusto. I knew it had to be Skulduggery's idea to elect them as Dead Men to boost their morale and it worked. I looked at him and he smiled and shrugged. The happy mood at the table might have seemed strange to other people, but we were glad to have new members.

They children were welcomed in with the usual hugs after breakfast, and both Cain and Val clung to me tightly. I think it had hit them how dangerous the day would be. "You'll do fine." I assured them, but the truth was I wasn't sure any of us were coming back alive.

* * *

We walked into the woods, Loquacious joining us. "You know, we're all calling you Prolix from now on." Skulduggery muttered. "It's easier to fit in edgewise. Maybe you can talk the vampire to death." He grumbled. Saracen, walking behind them by my side smiled at me.

"Now he has someone else to be nasty to. I seem to remember you two fighting all the time. Those we're the days." He said with a grin. Prolix as we were now calling him was nattering back at Skulduggery. Kitted out in about the same black clothes for battle they looked like the twins they were.

"Brother, there's something I've been meaning to tell you-" Prolix began, starting to fish underneath his clothes but Skulduggery held his hand up, his skull cocked. He was listening attentively to something and with one glance he got Saracen's nod. The group had stopped dead, right outside of...what?

We couldn't see it, but Skulduggery turned. "He's using the air for a forcefield and giving us an illusion to cloak his troops. He wanted us this close to launch his attack." He cursed them shrugged and walked forward. Instantly the illusion dropped and we saw the truth.

The vampire had gathered an army just as Tesseract had feared and now our opposing sides were running towards one another, and the cursing and screaming began. The wendigos seemed to be everywhere at once and I barely got my armour up in time to protect my throat as one rounded a tree and leapt at me. Incredibly strong, he clung on even after decapitation.

A blast of fire hit him and the corpse went up with a whoosh. I looked over and smiled at Ghastly then summoned my shotgun. I took out two wendigos with the Necromancer magic it blasted, then the loads burst into shrapnel and found four more targets, but it was too slow and there were too many of them.

I was grateful that we were clashing deep in the woods, shielded by magic from mortal eyes. My armour alerted me to a danger I hadn't noticed and soon I was turning and charging towards a wendigo who'd been sneaking up behind me. He launched himself towards me, clawed hands outstretched, teeth ready to delver a killing bite and I met him in midair and we tumbled to the ground as the battle raged around us. All of the Dead Men were fighting, so were the children, Tesseract, and Melody but we knew it was a loosing battle.

There were simply too many of the enemy and two few of us. I saw Tesseract behead three of them with a whirling dance and his machete, but only Val's slicing shadows protected him from a wendigo that had leapt from behind the growing pile of bodies. We hadn't dared call the vampires in for fear they would side with the enemy and now it was too late. Neither Lord Vile or myself could launch massive attacks from above to take out the enemy without killing allies and I made a mental note for us to go into battle alone the next time the world was ending.

I at last managed to kill the beast on top of me using my shadows and rose as quickly as possible. The wendigos were starting to scale the trees to drop from above and if they did that it would be all over. I called to Vile and he nodded and we started blasting the creatures with shadows. They screamed as they fell, only to be ravaged and eaten by their ever-hungry comrades.

Loquacious called to me. "Valkyrie! As Darquesse you can do what needs to be done! Remove my pendant!" I was surprised, but he was tugging a strange pendant out. I shifted into Darquesse and ripped off the pendant. Immediately Loquacious started to shift into something bigger, stronger. Transformation complete he threw back his lupine skull and howled. A werewolf, great. Now we had a werewolf loose.

There were answering howls and wolves and werewolves came hurtling into battle from God knows where, savagely taking down the wendigos two at a time. More allies poured in, blurs that hurtled too fast for me to see even as Darquesse. Dusk and the other vampires had arrived. I had no idea how they knew we needed help but I nodded my thanks to him and his mate as they launched themselves at the vampire known to us only as Count Orlock. But I had to worry about recalling my armour to me more than anything else.

The tide slowly seemed to be turning in our favor but too slowly. As I impaled several more wendigos on spikes of shadows I saw Prolix savagely tearing into several at a time with his claws. I didn't have time to admire him as more wendigos seemed to surge out of nowhere and out of desperation I took the orb Lord Vile had given me and tossed it into the air. Higher and higher it flew, pulsing a hellish green light that could be seen even in the day, then blasts of energy hit ever wendigo present and they were simply gone. I risked a glance at Orlock who threw Dusk and his mate off as if they were mere ragdolls.

Snarling he withdrew a black staff from his ebon robes, pointed at Cain, and fired. My son screamed and dropped. He'd been hit with Necromancy but on a level I'd never seen. I rushed over to him, desperate to help, but knowing as he lay dreadfully still it might already be too late. I pushed back the visor of his helmet and could see his bones were already getting weaker, starting to crumble into fine dust. My son was dying. "Mother, it hurts." He gasped and I laid my armoured hands on his plated chest, willing him to live.

I was pouring as much healing into him as I'd done for Tanith, but he was still dying before me. "He needs Darquesse." I looked up at the otherworldly voice and saw Vile beside me already kneeling. "And me, we do this together." He said, and I nodded grimly, knowing what our sacrifice would be.

I let my darkness flow over me and I was Darquesse for one final time and I and Lord Vile sacrificed all that was us to save our son. I doubted either of us would live but it would be worth it to know Cain would. As my vision started to blacken around the edges I realized I couldn't see Melody anywhere. She and Count Orlock were gone. Then the blackness took me and I didn't care about anything.

* * *

I came to in stages, so weary I felt like dying all over again. I was being carried on a litter beside Lord Vile who laid dreadfully still. I blacked out again and when I came to we were in the living room of the cabin. Prolix was talking soothingly while Cain and Val sobbed so hard their bones were shaking. The Dead Men all were grieving. I tried to sit up but groaned and fell backwards, too weary to move.

There were yells and suddenly the children were kissing my face and hugging me, their tears of joy blending with my own. "It figures they love you best." A wonderfully velvety voice grumbled from my left. I turned my head and saw Skulduggery. He smiled weakly at me and the children turned to fuss over him as well. I smiled at him then closed my eyes, only wanting sleep.

When I came to again I was hungry and able to sit up with help from Ghastly and Prolix. We were still in the cabin, which made me blink in surprise. "How long?" I asked groggily.

Ghastly answered. "Two days, but you're both back now. So is Mel. She helped heal you, along with Prolix." I looked at her and she smiled shyly. "Not to get you too excited but Dusk and his mate took the vampires after Orlock and literally ripped him into little bits. He's truly dead now, his remains destroyed." I sighed in relief as I accepted coffee from Dexter. He looked terrified.

"Only one question." I said. "You all had a chance to kill Lord Vile and Darquesse. To make us pay for our crimes. Why didn't you?" I asked. Saracen answered.

"Every man here has done terrible things, Valkyrie. If you must die for your crimes, we must die too. It would never end. Besides. Lord Vile and Darquesse helped save the world. Had the contagion spread or Orlock created a vampire army as well-" He shrugged helplessly. Dusk's mate came forward and for the first time I realized the vampires were in the room.

For once Dusk didn't seemed inclined to kill me and I noticed his scar was gone. His mate spoke. "All of what he told Melody were lies. He was a super vampire of sorts, created in a lab. He could pass his powers onto her because that is what he was designed to do. He was, shall we say, deactivated by an electronic implant, but reactivated himself. But now the beast is gone."

Dusk came to her side. "Vampires must be taught by those who turn them. How to resist change, how to prevent mindless rampages that would get us all hunted down and killed. Orlock planned to simply create and release vampires. That could not be allowed. Also, we like our allies." I highly doubted that and was happy when they left the cabin shortly after and I simply rested, eating when I could with Skulduggery beside me.

* * *

Several days later we were carried into the van. We could stand, but barely. Tesseract had promised to drive us home and the Dead Mean were leaving. We made our goodbyes and Ghastly carried first Skulduggery, then me to Tesseract's massive bed. The children sat across from us on Val's bed and Prolix, having agreed to leave the woods now that his secret was out rode shot gun.

"We're planning a nice leisurely trip, you two. There will be stops for meals and food and you will have attendance danced upon you." Prolix said as we started out. Skulduggery grunted beside me. The only thing he cared about was that the Bentley was safely secured in a trailer attached to the rear of the RV.

"Thank you, Prolix." I replied. "Tesseract, this isn't a problem?"

"Nyet. I mean no, no problem. My little Kyrie came up with the idea, I highly approve. You two are still as you are, by the way. You can't give up who you are anymore that I can loose this mask."

"Mom, how did you two-" Val started and I smiled over at her.

"Honey, immortal really means we will live for such a very long time that it will seem like forever. Even we can die. Didn't I explain that?" I asked and she shook her head, scared. "Don't be sad sweetheart. Those of us who chose will live for thousands and thousands of years, the rest still have centuries more to be with us."

"But why did they all refuse?" Cain put in.

"Anton misses too many people already, and Dexter and Saracen feel death being part of life is what makes it so special. We have no right to force a choice on them." I said gently. Val nodded sadly. I knew what she was thinking. Her best girlfriend was going to marry Anton shortly and he'd refused the gift. But that was his choice. He'd reasonably pointed out that it would never end. That there would always be a new Dead Man, or girlfriend or lover, or whomever and I'd be forever creating immortals as Darquesse. If I could.

I had wondered about that myself. Skulduggery had voiced his doubts often enough that I no longer believed it myself, really. But it had seemed real and I knew I'd gifted those I'd helped in some way. The only way to tell would be to wait thousands of years and see.

"We're being followed." Skulduggery said beside me, drawing me out of my thoughts. He'd sat up enough to see out of the window and I followed his gaze. We were leaving the woods at long last, but all the Dead Men stayed on our tail. Erskine leading with Springheeled Jack beside him grinned and waved cheerfully. Jack looked an unpleasant shade of green.

"What happened to him?" I asked, alarmed.

Cain laughed softly. "A wendigo attacked the cabin and fought him shortly after we left for the battle and he killed it. Being Jack he tried to eat it as well and gave himself a terrible stomachache. He'll be OK." I smiled over at him in relief. Jack had been left behind with Charles in case we didn't return. They knew they would have had to go for help. I hadn't even though of the wendigos bothering them, but they had.

The drive was indeed leisurely. We hit a place for breakfast and although we wanted to go inside to eat, the others insisted on bringing our food to us. "I'm not that blessed tired." Skulduggery mumbled sleepily from beside me. I grunted my agreement, though in truth we had to be awakened to eat our take away.

Tesseract and Loquacious ate with us and the kids. It felt cozy, like we were a family, and in reality we were. We gathered around the table that lifted from the floor and ate slowly, Prolix watching over Skulduggery and Val keeping a watchful eye on me. There were so many things I wanted to say as I sipped my coffee and ate my eggs, but like Skulduggery I was too tired to talk much.

Only when Cain looked guiltily at us did I find the strength to respond. "This is all my fault." He said, looking between us, worriedly.

"No, Cain. This is Orlock's fault. He _chose_ what he became, he chose to attack you so he could take Melody. Once you have your own children you'll understand what we did. Our lives meant nothing if one of you died." I said and he nodded, tears streaming from his empty eye sockets. "How is Mel?" I asked and he shrugged. I made a mental note to talk to her and soon, but sleep was calling me and soon Skulduggery and I were in the bunk, dead to the world.

We were awakened at the next rest stop by Melody herself, performing a healing on us. "Hey!" She beamed down at me. "Let's stretch our legs, OK?" I nodded. She walked with me while Skulduggery walked with the children. We felt a lot stronger and I knew we had her to thank.

"Mel-" I began to thank her, but she cut me off.

"No thanks needed. It's the least I could do. I feel so guilty about letting him take me in like that." She shivered.

"Mel, if the situation had been reversed, and Cain had been the one lured away by a vampire, would you blame him?" I asked.

"No-" She said doubtfully. And I knew she would have and didn't blame her. Jealousy was normal in humans. Not logical, but normal.

"Mel, you had a terrible thing done to you. You had your free will taken away from you. It was no different than if he'd raped you. He was going to kill you. Don't you dare feel guilty for what he did to you, ever." I said firmly and she stopped walking and hugged me.

"Thank you." She whispered as she hugged me tightly. I met Skulduggery and he gave me a smile as we watched Melody drift over to Cain.

"They're going to be all right if they don't make the same mistakes we did." He murmured and I nodded absently. Something was bothering me, something from a long time ago, before we were married but what? I felt something shift in my pocket and dug out the old Nissan emblem Leap had given me. He said it would be useful some day, but here and now? Skulduggery looked at it, then looked away guiltily and it clicked.

"This emblem was never meant for me, was it? It was meant for you. Skulduggery, what does it mean?" I asked and he stared at me sadly.

"It means you are either going to love me for all eternity or hate me forever. Let's get into the trailer, there's something in the boot of the Bentley I should have shown you before we got married." Tesseract let us in happily enough then left us in privacy. Skulduggery hesitated before opening the boot. He stared at me. "Just remember that I love you, and I never told you the truth before because I know you. You aren't going to take this well at all."

At first I thought he was joking, but he opened the boot and got an old wooden box out of a hidden compartment. There was a grooved depression on it that must have been a lock that the car emblem would fit perfectly. But the box looked centuries old. Skulduggery shrugged helplessly and handed both over to me. "That was made for me a long, long time ago to keep the things I treasured most. Once you see them I know you'll remember and I know you'll leave me, but I couldn't tell you, I still don't want to."

"Then destroy it, Skulduggery." I said, offering the box back to him. "I don't have to know if it is going to ruin our marriage. I love you so much, you know that." But he shook his head and insisted it was time. Fearfully I put the emblem in the depression and twisted. There was a soft click and the box opened slightly.

Frightened of what might be inside I lifted the lid and stared at the contents. I knew I should say something, but I was close to hyperventilating. _No._ I shook my head in disbelief. It wasn't possible. Skulduggery would have told me. We were partners and best friends. _He would have told me. I would have understood._ I reached inside and touched the contents, a million memories joining those already flooding my mind. It was too much and I felt dizzy and staggered backwards. I barely managed to shut the box and looked at him. "Why, Skulduggery? Why didn't you ever tell me? Why?" I asked.

"Because I knew you'd hate me for it, Valkyrie. And before you ask, yes, I recognized you. Not at first of course, and then when I had- I wanted to let you go in the worst way, to let you live your own life without me. But I couldn't. And there was always the possibility that I had gone entirely insane. That it wasn't possible that you were who I thought you were. Your alter ego? That's who you were before."

I breathed and sagged back against the wall. Then I laughed and he looked up in surprise. "So you married a homicidal maniac _twice_?" I asked and he grinned sheepishly at me. "Then how did China manage to beat me? Oh, right. I was pregnant with- Lord, they came back too, didn't they, Skulduggery?" I asked and he flashed a fragile smile. "But how?"

"Lord Vile may or may have not had something to do with it, but that's all I'm saying. And it hurt him to fight you, you know. In his defense he was more angry with himself than anything. He loved you so much that having to fight you, well, he _does_ have anger management problems." He smiled and helped me up.

"Moron." I said gently, then pulled him into a searing kiss. "Shall we tell the others?" I asked as we walked back outside to join them.

"Not yet. I think Ghastly knew somehow. I really think he did. Sorry I didn't tell you, but I expected it would repulse you more than anything to be honest."

"Never. I'll admit it is the strangest thing I've ever heard of, but- Oh. It was me who gave you your Necromancy abilities, wasn't it? So I made Lord Vile in a way." I grinned at the thought and Skulduggery nodded, smiling. "I'm surprised you didn't shoot Fletcher or Caelan then. Sorry about that." I apologized but Skulduggery waved me off cheerfully.

"Think nothing of it. Well, shall we rejoin the others?" He asked offering me his arm, his grin absolutely wicked.

"We shall." I agreed and we walked out further into the bright sunshine, barely able to restrain ourselves from letting our shadows writhe in anticipation.

* * *

 **No, it wouldn't be worldwide slaughter, but the two are now sort of dark good guys, but they always have been, more or less. Yes, I made a major edit to the chapter, but this always made sense to me. Comments help greatly, you know.**


	70. Chapter 70

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Gordon, Ghastly, Tanith, Erskine, Tesseract, Dex, Anton, Tipstaff, Jack or Saracen. Loquacious, Laura, Reba, Charles, Melody and Tanny (daughter) are still all my OCs, though. Thanks go out to **Aislinn Riddle** for the fave.

* * *

A few weeks had passed and we were settled in at home. Loquacious turned out to love the solitary life and had returned home, and after glomming on to us for the first week the children had at last returned to Uncle Gordon's mansion. Skulduggery, of course, was being very attentive, and I wondered if he'd ever be back to normal after his revelation.

I looked at him over breakfast one morning. "I never thought of it, but it was hard on you, wasn't it? Knowing who I was and having to watch me grow up?" I asked and his shoulders sagged in relief. _So that's what has been bothering him._ I thought. He gave me a fragile smile.

"Indeed. When I realized who you were, that it just wasn't me being rather more insane than usual, it bothered me to no end. I felt a tremendous sense of guilt for having dragged you back into magic, back to my side. I wanted to let you go, to make you go, but I couldn't."

I arched an eyebrow at him and went to straddle his lap. "Since when do I listen to anything you say, Detective?" I asked with a grin.

"Point taken, but you aren't angry at me?" He asked tilting his head. When he was sure I wasn't he buried his skull in my neck, pressing his nasal cavity in and drawing in air, I yelped and he pulled back with a serene look on his skeletal features. He knew how to fight dirty, I'd give him that. I initiated a searing kiss and when we at last parted I swore what passed for his eyes were crossed.

"Bad, skeleton detective, bad." I teased and he grinned. "You know, Skulduggery," I continued, "I have a gift for you. Consider it an early anniversary present." He sat up slightly straighter, his smile growing. "Care to take a guess?" I teased.

"I can't imagine anything better than getting to hold you," He murmured, settling his hands on either side of my waist, "so you'll," he kissed me, "have to," another kiss, "tell me." He sat back with a satisfied grin and I knew I was grinning stupidly in return. Skulduggery's kisses still left my dizzy after two decades of marriage.

I leaned back slightly and smiled, caressing his skull and earning a low growl of desire. "Well, do you remember wanting to open our own detective agency?" I asked and he nodded. "You still want to?" I teased and he nodded again. "Well, good Because as of this morning you and I are the sole members of the Pleasant Detective Agency." I said with a grin. I stood up and fished the papers Erskine had signed out of my pocket and handed them to him.

Skulduggery looked at them, then at me in wonder. "But- How?"

"I shadow-walked there this morning while you were still meditating. You didn't think I'd just got up and dressed early for no good reason, did you?" I asked with a grin.

"You clever woman, you. I didn't suspect a thing. But Erskine just agreed?"

I sat back down to finish my breakfast and coffee before answering, making sure several kisses from an adoring husband were thrown in for good measure. "Yes, he did. He wants us to drive out there to meet him after we've had breakfast. He wants to congratulate us, I think." That was all it took for Skulduggery to inhale the rest of his food and to encourage me to do the same.

* * *

At the Sanctuary Erskine rose from his desk and greeted us warmly. "Valkyrie, Skulduggery! I'm glad you both came in. How is the life of a detective free from Sanctuary interference treating you?" He asked I smiled and Skulduggery grinned wickedly in reply. He was free to use all the excessive force he wanted to now and I knew he was looking forward to it.

Laura was also there, and she came up and grabbed me in a hug. "We thought we'd have a party in the office to celebrate. Both your freedom and ours." She said, gesturing for us to sit.

"Pardon?" Skulduggery asked and Erskine grinned before answering.

"Signing those papers to make you private detectives was my last act as Grand Mage of the Irish Sanctuary. And before you two protest, Dex and Saracen will still be here. Besides, the new Grand Mage was elected by the old one, so I think you'll like him." There was a teasing note in his voice. Before I could reply the office door opened and Dexter and Saracen entered, flanking the new Grand Mage.

"It can't be." Skulduggery said faintly.

"That's a reflection, isn't it?" I asked and Erskine laughed as the new Grand Mage favored me with a smile.

"Valkyrie, good to see you as always." He said, holding out his arms for a hug. I gave him one my mind reeling and he smiled down at me. "I have a wife to care for now, and if your offer still stands-" He didn't have to ask twice. I touched Anton Shudder gently on the temples, grinning stupidly as I did so.

Our other brothers joined him in his request and it was a given I'd help Laura. We all got settled with drinks a rather frazzled looking Tipstaff saw to, and Erskine spoke again. "I know, you both think it's a joke, but it isn't. Anton will be keeping the programs you two implemented to help people and the protective services like detectives, but huge parts will just be gone."

"Still, Anton, the Grand Mage." Skulduggery said faintly and I rubbed his back.

Anton laughed. "It was all Tanith's idea, my wife, not the mother. I think she's still in shock as well. But as Grand Mage I can greatly decrease the Sanctuary's power to interfere, and still offer asylum to people. The Midnight Hotel will go through some alterations, of course, and my wife is pleased with the idea, so I'm content."

"Wait, wife?" I asked and he smiled clearly pleased with himself.

"We were in Jamaica and it just happened. We found a local priest and got married on the beach." He shrugged. "Ghastly wants to kill us both of course since he'd been waiting ages to design her dress. It didn't help that his son eloped at the same time to marry."

"No, it didn't." A powerful voice rumbled from the doorway and Ghastly and Tanith joined us. Ghastly gave me a long-suffering glance. "My grandchildren are going to wait for wedding clothes and like it." He growled and I nodded.

"Little Val can't wait, you know that dad. And Cain as well. How is the suit for Tesseract coming?" I asked and he beamed.

"Beautifully, actually. Val, I've been meaning to ask you, couldn't you do anything for him like you did for me?" He asked and I nodded.

"In a little while, our brothers just accepted." I indicated the other Dead Men and he grinned.

"Good!" He said, sounding pleased. We lingered for a few hours, visiting. As far as I knew I had extended the lifespans of every man in the room by thousands of years. And I knew that if they had all accepted it meant something was up.

Skulduggery seemed to think the same thing, only he didn't let good manners get in his way. "What are you all up to, why the sudden acceptance of Valkyrie's offer?" He asked.

Erskine smiled. "I'll field that one. We want the chance to learn, Skulduggery, to grow in power as a force for good." He said, taking Laura's hand. "We also want jobs, I don't suppose you two are hiring?" He looked at us eagerly.

Skulduggery smiled. "Let me ask my founding partner." He said then turned to me and tilted his head.

"Founding partner says yes." I said, smiling. We were up to an agency of four and I had no idea how we would manage to pay our friends, but Anton had that covered too.

"My first act as Grand Mage is funding your enterprise. I intend to encourage a lot more people like you two to do things privately that the Sanctuary does now. " Tipstaff looked ready to faint and when Anton swiveled his head towards him he let out a faint squeak. Anton grinned wickedly. "It's also my last. There was a meeting and it's been agreed that there will no longer be a Sanctuary." Tipstaff swooned.

I didn't bother asking what meeting but just went to the window at Anton's urging. He went to a small clock on the mantle and when he turned something inside the Sanctuary was tranformed. "Anton, you're a genius!" I enthused, and he was. Instead seeing the Sanctuary I watched as the whole building merged with the Midnight Hotel, becoming a gigantic version of it inside and out.

Anton came up behind me, smiling. "Detectives, I welcome you to the new Midnight Hotel." He said with a gentle smile. Tipstaff, who'd just come round fainted again.

* * *

Anton explained that the idea had been worked on for years in secret. Even with all the changes we had made the Sanctuary was still too powerful and often hated. And now with it gone and the Midnight Hotel as a powerful new ally, we could travel for free the rest of our lives. "Provided of course, you agree to take on partners of my choosing." Anton said. I turned to see them enter and thought I had to be dreaming.

Both our children and their soon-to-be spouses were coming towards us, sacks of take away in tow. Val squeaked happily when she saw me and ran up to me, throwing herself into my arms, and Cain almost knocked Skulduggery over. I smiled. _So much for them being off and independent._ I thought fondly. But both Tesseract and Melody seemed content with the idea, though I honestly wondered when our new agency would stop growing. Ghastly and Tanith had joined as well, but the more the merrier, I hoped.

Skulduggery seemed to feel as dazed as I did and he drew me out into the hall as the others got the food ready. "Am I still back with the Faceless Ones?" He asked and I hugged him tightly.

"Not unless I'm with you. But I know what you mean. I haven't the foggiest idea where we will even set up our offices." I admitted, wondering if we shouldn't have planned further ahead, but Skulduggery just shrugged happily.

"Let's play it by ear, shall we?" He asked and I agreed.

* * *

The day just kept giving us more change. It was a good thing Skulduggery and I had bags packed and in the Bentley for emergencies as Anton had us pull in the newly formed parking garage. We were going with him when the Midnight Hotel moved. Back in his office Val came and cuddled with me on the couch. "Isn't this exciting, mom?" She asked, her eye sockets practically shining.

"It is. How's your dress coming along, sweetie?" I asked and she pulled out her mobile to show me the design. I sucked in my breath. My daughter was going to be beautiful. Ghastly, well aware we were oohing over his work, spoke up.

"The children both want to be married in my shop, like you were. A double wedding for them as well of course, I hope you two aren't angry with me for agreeing without asking you first." I shook my head no and Skulduggery gave a lazy wave.

"They're adults, Ghastly. And this is their wedding, not ours. I don't intend to interfere and neither does Valkyrie." He paused to accept a take away container from Cain, who handed me one as well. "Thank you, Cain. Speaking of my progeny, whoever taught you to be this sneaky?" He tilted his head indicating our new partners. "That's right, _me_." He finished, pleased with himself and Cain looked pleased to have made him happy.

After lunch we found the room Anton had assigned us, Skulduggery bringing up our bags. "I swear I only knew Erskine had signed papers, not about anything else." I said as we settled in. "Our friends are a bunch of sneaks." I muttered and he laughed.

"Coffee?" He offered and I nodded. "I was thinking the same thing. You don't think we're rushing things, do you? I had planned on it being us two at first. Now we'll have to share all the good cases." He teased.

"I don't know." I admitted. "I was an Elder but it will be different now giving orders, unless you want to do that all yourself."

"Oh, no, my dear. We're in this together. It is a shock having the Sanctuary gone, but a good one, I think. Anton was right, it was too powerful. And now with the troublemakers out of the way he's kept the best people. I'm thankful he kept the cooks." He said, nodding to himself.

Then the room started to fade away and I realized I'd been dreaming. I woke up with Skulduggery beside me, his chin propped on my shoulder. "Morning." He whispered in my ear, his velvety voice turning my insides to mush.

"Mmm, morning, Skulduggery. I just had the most wonderful dream. I don't suppose I can go back to sleep?" I asked and he shifted so that his surprisingly bare ribs brushed against me.

"I don't know, _can_ you?" He purred, his skeletal hands roaming in a way that made me shiver. And that's when I woke up for the second time. I sat up with a sigh. Skulduggery wasn't in bed beside me, but I could hear him and the children bustling around downstairs and smell coffee and bacon being made.

 _Of course, today is the day we are taking the kids and spouses to Ghastly's shop for fittings._

I grinned to myself as I went to my shower. Ghastly was so good he never did fittings, but it was more of a chance for Val and Cain to feel special. That, and his kids had indeed ran off to get married, so that much of the dreams was true.

Downstairs Val ran to me and glommed on with one of her happy squeaks, squeezing shut what passed for her eyes. I held her tightly and Skulduggery looked at us and sniffed in feigned offense. "Oh, I see how it is. We men have to go eat outside in the RV, but you girls eat here. Fine, be that way." He couldn't keep the teasing note out of his voice and Val sassed him by rattling her bones at him. Skulduggery gasped in mock shock, then came over to kiss us both on the cheek.

"Mmm. Coffee and breakfast are ready for you, ladies, enjoy. Why don't we all meet up later this afternoon for lunch?" He asked and I nodded. Skulduggery left with Cain and Melody ushered me to my chair, Melody insisting on serving everyone. I was glad to have the help since I didn't know how Val would react to seeing herself in the dress for the first time.

She adored girly things, but a wedding dress was special, and I was worried about a girly melt-down in Ghastly's shop. I sighed inwardly and hoped she knew that to me and everyone else who mattered she was very beautiful. I looked at them both as Melody at last joined us with her own plate. "Are you ladies ready for your big day?" I asked and Val giggled. Melody blushed and smiled.

"Mom, what was your fitting day like? Was it special?" Val asked dreamily. I saw no reason to tell her that there hadn't been any and that on the day of the wedding itself one of her favorite people had died while trying to kill me.

"Yes, it was. You know your grandfather. Speaking of which, I'll thank you both to drink all the tea he foists on you. He knows I'm a lost cause." I grinned and they both laughed. Skulduggery and I both enjoyed coffee more. It wasn't like we never drank tea, we just didn't make a habit of it.

Val hesitated, then spoke again. "You- Do you both like Tess?" She asked worriedly and my heart broke for my daughter. Mel made soothing sounds and rubbed Val's back gently and I knew she had to wonder if she too, were welcome.

"Of course we do, sweetheart. You're getting a wonderful husband in Tesseract. I never have to worry about you when you're with him, I know he worships you. Besides, mommy already threatened the man and he didn't run away so he's a keeper." Val squeaked in dismay and I took her skeletal hand. "Sweetie, you're my daughter, it's my job to make sure any man who wants to marry you is worthy of you. And don't feel bad, Val. Ask Melody what I threatened to do to her if my helpless baby ever tells me she mistreated him." I teased.

That broke the tension. Val snorted and Melody howled with laughter. I smiled at her, glad she was part of the family now. I knew very well I'd spoiled Skulduggery rotten but I could handle him that way and enjoyed his arrogance. Cain would be indulged too, but she would still keep him in line like I did with Skulduggery and the honestly both needed it.

Breakfast over, we went out to Melody's van. She'd agreed to drive since Val liked to drive in the imaginary lane only she could see and we all wanted to get there in one piece. Val was content to ride shotgun and I sat in the back hoping both women would be happy with what they saw that afternoon.

* * *

As the two young brides got dressed in the back Ghastly entertained me. "Tea?" He offered and I nodded, then told him about the dream. He looked thoughtful when I mentioned Tesseract. "Are you offering?" He asked at last.

"No, and not to be cruel, either, dad. Tesseract is far too old to be my son, but I love him for loving Val. If he asks, I'll help. It wouldn't be fair or right to force it on him, though I never gave you a choice, did I?"

Ghastly rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah, Valkyrie. He'll be _real_ heartbroken if he can get out of that mask and live like everyone else. But are you strong enough yet?" He asked.

"I think so. I just don't want him to think that-" I trailed off helplessly and he came around his desk to hug me.

"I know." He said gently. "But he knows he's loved and accepted as he is. I wouldn't offer, he's too proud to accept, just do it. For what it is worth he talked to me earlier, wanting to know how I'd gotten rid of my scars. I told him I'd found a cure, but was vague. The man wants freedom, Val." I smiled in relief and cleared my mind as Skulduggery had taught me to years ago. I thought of how as Darquesse I'd shattered curses before and let my mind drift out to Tesseract.

I had to be extremely careful. I didn't want his disease to migrate or get worse, but I found the root at last, a seething, pulsing thing. I knew I could trust him to keep a secret, so I eradicated the disease, healed the flesh and safely deactivated the mask, thanking the heavens that he was currently in his RV with the other men. I drew back into myself and opened my eyes in time to see two very shy young women emerging from the back room, an extremely proud Tanith leading them to me.

"You ladies both look amazing!" I said, and they did. Melody's dress accented her generous curves and showed off her true beauty. It had cascading fountains of ruffles, tasteful sweeps of fabric and a trailing gown that fanned out just so and suited her perfectly. She was shaking, but looked radiant. "Turn around, both of you, please." I encouraged and they did.

I walked up to my little Valkyrie, a stunning vision in white. Creamy white lace, ruffles and roses cascaded down the front of her dress and pleats only added to and celebrated her height and slim profile. The dress was cut so perfectly that the cleavage that did show only accented the beauty of her delicate bones. I felt tears in my eyes as I looked at her, too proud to speak. Val was crying too and I could dimly hear Tanith reassuring Ghastly that we were crying happy tears as I hugged both women tightly to me.

"I mean it, you both look amazing." I whispered fiercely. "I'll be the proudest woman at the wedding, proud of both you beautiful young women." I said before releasing them. My mobile rang and I stepped away. Skulduggery.

"Yes, dearheart?" I answered innocently and he snorted in reply.

"That was a generous thing you did and somebody figured it out before anyone else and wants to thank you." I heard the emotion in his voice and agreed, the mobile was handed over and Tesseract's voice came on the line.

"I don't know how to thank you. Not to seem ungrateful, but how is my bride?" He asked and I handed over the mobile with a smile. Val squeaked happily, excitedly burbling on about her dress, then she got silent and listened attentively. A few seconds later a look of awe came over her sweet skeletal features and she launched herself at me.

"Thank you, mom! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said, digging her skull into my shoulder.

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Now why don't you ladies go change and we'll meet the men for lunch, OK?" I asked and she nodded with a grin. Ghastly smiled at me as they left with Tanith.

"Told you so." He said.

* * *

Ghastly and Tanith came with us, and we left to meet the men at Reba's. Luckily they had called ahead so we had the place just to ourselves. The men pulled in shortly after we got settled and I heard Val gasp as Tesseract got out of his RV. The giant of a man had changed and now was strikingly handsome. Poor Val started to tremble so hard that I could hear her bones rattle. "What if he doesn't love me anymore, mom? What is he just settled?" She asked. Before I could answer the men had entered and Val slid out of our booth to meet Tesseract.

I held my breath, fearing the worst. What if Tesseract _had_ settled? What if Val no longer loved him now that the mask and aura of mystery was gone? Then he was drawing my daughter into his arms for a searing kiss and they were both crying happy tears. They parted and the older mage looked at me. "Thank you, for everything. But I have nothing to offer you in return." He shrugged helplessly.

"Just- Just take care of my daughter." I managed over the lump in my throat. Skulduggery, who had walked over to me helped me out of the booth and took me into his arms. He kissed me deeply, studiously ignoring the pleased murmurs we heard. He smiled gently at me when he pulled back. "It reminded me of our own wedding, and that was lovely, but now I'm starved and you simply _must_ feed me." He said with a grin.

When we were all settled Reba came over. "Well, looks like congratulations is in order. I'll fix us up what you had the day Charles met Jack, this reminds me of that day, the happiest in his life. We'll be joining you of course." She gestured and the door locked and the shades were closed.

After she went into the back I looked at Tanith and we exchanged grins. "So, what are you getting the kids? It better be something expensive." I deadpanned and we laughed over the shocked gasps. Ghastly snorted, then came to the rescue.

"They're teasing. Would you kids like a look at your wedding cakes?" He offered as he handed his mobile to Val, she made her happy squeak and handed it to Cain.

"But how?" Val asked.

"We're making them." I assured her. "That vanilla cake you enjoy so much with buttercream frosting and a creamy pineapple filling for yours, Val." I said and I swear she licked her teeth. "And dark chocolate frosting on a Black Forest cake for you, Cain." I finished. He looked at me rather dreamily. "That is, if your spouses don't mind the skulls and roses motifs." I said with a smile, but Tesseract and Melody both looked rather misty-eyed.

* * *

At home that night I cuddled into Skulduggery with a happy sigh. "Mmm, that feels good." He murmured as he stroked my hair. I smiled into the darkness, knowing he'd see me. "You know," he continued, "I've been thinking about our future. Sooner or later the kids will be gone for good and it would be nice to have a hobby."

I sat up, clicking my fingers and summoning a flame to see him better. "You mean like our own detective agency?" I asked, excited about the idea, and he nodded as he sat up beside me, summoning his own flame. Then he smiled and at his gesture the lights came on.

"Coffee downstairs?" He asked hopefully and I nodded. Skulduggery continued when we were both seated at the kitchen table. "It would be just us two again. Ghastly might occasionally help, but I think the man wants more children, so I'm not dragging him or Tanith back into all the excitement and danger. I swear having kids aged those two." I heard the frown in his voice and smiled.

"This is going to sound strange, but were you going to call it the Pleasant Detective Agency?" I asked and at his surprised nod I told him about the dream. I was going to tell him more when my mobile rang and my heart iced over. I knew without checking that it was Val.

"Sweetie, what is it, what's wrong?" I asked and she couldn't answer, just sobbed helplessly. I cursed myself for helping Tesseract then. I was useless to anyone if my strongest magic was needed. At last she answered, still sobbing.

"Mom, it's Tess! He's been abducted!" She wailed. I felt the mobile drop out of my hand and stared at Skulduggery in horror.

"I think we have our first case." I said faintly.

* * *

 **What? Drama helps move a story along quite nicely. Comments do help you know and are most welcome.**


	71. Chapter 71

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Darquesse, Lord Vile, Ghastly, Tanith, Erskine, Dex, Jack, Gordon or Saracen.

* * *

I managed to pick up my mobile and spoke into it. "Sweetie, sweetie? Where are you?" I asked, but by this time Val was crying helplessly. I heard a muffled sound then Cain's voice came on the line.

"We're at the mansion, mom. Please hurry." He sounded terrified.

"We will." I managed, then rang off. I looked at Skulduggery, rage starting to mix with my sadness and panic. I knew it would kill me to go to them right now by shadow-walking. But it wouldn't kill Darquesse, would it? Darquesse could not only go to her children, but find Tesseract and paint the walls with the blood of whomever took him.

I started an angry growl and could feel myself giving in, becoming Darquesse, but Skulduggery had risen when I'd stood and he took me in his arms. "No, Valkyrie. Not like this. We don't kill anymore, not like this." I heard the pain in his voice and saw the tears streaming from his eye sockets. I totally lost it then and sobbed, burying my face in his shirt front.

Skulduggery soothed me. "Valkyrie, you would have killed yourself, you know you would have. So would I at this point, we're not strong enough yet. Do you really want to let Lord Vile loose on a mindless rampage? Because that is what will happen if I loose you again. Come on now. Be brave." I laughed through my tears.

"I hate 'be brave'. It always means you have a rubbish plan." I joked weakly and he smiled at me. "What is it this time?" I asked, hoping he had a good one.

"We drive to the mansion and stay with our kids. Then we'll see from there. We'll get him back, Valkyrie, I promise." I nodded, hoping he was right. Then I gave myself a mental shake. He was right. One way or another, Skulduggery was rarely wrong. I had to be strong now for him, and the kids.

I managed a shaky smile as he drove as fast as possible. "You're right, as always, Skulduggery. I just remember how hard loosing you to the Faceless Ones was. I blamed myself. I still do." I shrugged and he looked shocked.

"Never, Valkyrie! I chose the kind of life I lead. You were no more responsible for me than Val is for Tesseract. But we'll get him back, don't you worry. He's too determined to see his bride again to give up, I can tell you that much. Knowing my best friend would save me one day, that's what got me through." He said, smiling at me as he took my hand.

I smiled back at him, feeling a sense of calm and soon enough we'd arrived to find every light in the mansion blazing. "I hate being an adult some days. I hope they're OK." I said as we pulled up in front of the mansion and Skulduggery braked smoothly.

"They will be." He promised, bringing a gloved hand up to caress my face. I wanted to loose myself in the sensation but our babies needed us. We got out and Cain was already running towards us.

"Mom! It's Val! She's just curled up in a ball and is rocking herself." He was crying and I hugged him briefly then handed him off to Skulduggery as I continued to charge into the mansion. I didn't even hesitate to barge into Val's bedroom as scoop her into my arms. I staggered slightly, but carried her into the kitchen, roaring at the top of my lungs for Uncle Gordon to get downstairs and help and get down there NOW. I wanted to deactivate his Echo Stone. How dare he leave my baby alone and afraid?

"Mama, mama, don't let go." Val said faintly as she refused to let me seat her. So I sat in the chair with her in my lap and asked the men to see to some coffee and food. Melody joined us, wide-eyed, and started to help with the preparations. I thanked her and Skulduggery nodded his thanks. Cain made sure Uncle Gordon's Echo Stone was brought down and I frowned. He should have been able to make the kitchen without the stone being brought. Unless something was wrong. He looked woozy and I was worried about him. I rocked my baby, crooning nonsensical loving words to her over and over. _What a time for Jack and Charles to be on vacation._ I thought.

Skulduggery took command, treating our case as our first priority. "Val? Val, honey?" He asked and she turned her skull towards him slowly.

"Daddy?" He voice was a pathetic squeak.

"Yes, daddy, angel." He agreed. "Did you see the bad guys?" He asked, speaking in the soothing way he had with terrified witnesses.

"No, but there's blood in the RV and there was a note. Daddy!" With that she was off my lap and into his arms. I stood and helped Cain with the food and coffee he'd silently taken over.

"You're the best son ever, you know that?" I asked and he nodded glumly. I pulled him into a tight hug. "Sweetheart, what is it? Is everything all right?" He started shaking uncontrollably. Melody answered for him.

"He's terrified. Val went out right before she called you to spend the night with Tesseract-sorry, Val-and that's when she found the smashed up trailer and the note." Val growled in reply and I smiled. "What are you smiling at?" Melody asked, clearly dumbfounded.

"If she's growling, she's ready to fight back." Cain and I said at the same time. We all gathered around Val and she looked stronger. Her jaw was set in determination and I swear there was an angry glint in her eye sockets. It made me glad that we'd never encouraged the children to shadow-walk or I knew she'd be off fighting on her own.

* * *

Gordon turned out to be OK and Skulduggery insisted he come with us as we investigated the trailer. We abandoned our food, in a hurry to get the case rolling. Val had been wise enough not to touch anything at the crime scene and I praised her foresight. Skulduggery drew his revolver and motioned to open the door to the RV then crept in. I followed, watching as his head swiveled slowly, reading the air currents to look for cloaked intruders.

I called my armour to me and joined him in the search, letting my dead senses flow over me. I didn't like what I saw. The ghostly traces of blood that had been cleaned away were everywhere, and the whole trailer looked like a warzone. There was a note, but at an angle so Val couldn't have possibly seen the contents and now as she tried to squirm past me I regretted listening to Skulduggery's insistence that we might be being watched and safer as a group. "Baby, don't touch it." I said as Val at last managed to slither past and reached for the note.

She looked hurt but listened. Skulduggery went to the note, which none of us could see and got out his mobile with a sigh. "I'm calling the Sanctuary. He's been abducted. And we've been told to stay out of it." I backed the kids and Melody out of the trailer. Val looked upset, way too rigid.

"We'll get him back." I assured her and she nodded, but I knew she was shutting down, that she could go so far inside herself that we'd never get her back. I remembered doing it too when Skulduggery went missing. Then Melody started to sing to her and Val looked entranced. Melody's Taken name made sense now. Her sweet voice soon lulled Val, and my poor daughter suddenly swooned into Melody's awaiting arms.

"She's asleep, she'll be out for hours." Melody assured me and I flashed her a grateful smile. Because there was always the possibility that we were wrong. I hated to think it of a good friend and Val's true love, but what if Tesseract had betrayed all of us and the hunt for him would lead us straight into a trap? I ordered them all back into the house and reentered the trailer. It wasn't smart to split up, but abduction or not I had sensed the intruders were long gone.

What I didn't like is that one of the people Tesseract had fought was a woman. I could see the ghosts of her delicate booted footprints and smell her perfume. Skulduggery was calmly bagging a blond hair and he turned to me grimly. "Erskine will be in contact with the Russian Sanctuary, but it doesn't look good. What did you see that you sent the kids away?"

"This place was a bloodbath, but it was cleaned up. One of his attackers was female, light in build, muscular like Tanith. You can tell from the depth of her footprints, their small but there's some mass to the body. The hair you found indicates she is a blond. Since they cleaned up the blood and left a message and all this chaos, we're meant to stay out of it, aren't we?"

Skulduggery smiled, clearly pleased. "Well done, anything else?"

I nodded, not wanting to say it. "His masks are missing, indicating he might already be reinfected. Whoever did this wants him as a weapon. He could be brainwashed and homicidal by the time we reach him." I cursed and Skulduggery let it slide for once.

"Indeed. Sorry this had to be our first case, Val. I'd imagined bringing the kids in with us eventually." Skulduggery said as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and shifted nervously. "And Gordon was acting, I'm sorry to say. I hate to tell you this, but he never trusted or liked Tesseract."

"I figured as much. I just hope that when Val figures out she doesn't smash his Echo Stone. He let me date a vampire after all."

"Yes." Skulduggery said dryly. "And how's that working out for you? Sorry, that was catty, even for me."

"I always said you're a cat in a detective suit." I teased as we left the trailer. Soon the sounds of approaching vehicles let us know vans of Cleavers and techs had arrived. So had Dex, Erskine and Saracen, all with packed bags. This case, I realized, went a lot deeper than I thought.

* * *

We got the men settled into rooms and still more people were streaming in. Forensics swarmed the RV and ground, and Ghastly and Tanith had arrived, no doubt called by Erskine. "Sorry to pull you into this, dad." I said as I enveloped him in a tight hug at the front door.

"Nonsense, Val is my granddaughter and we're all family. Whether he was liked or not Tesseract was one of our own. Although-" He trailed off and I nodded. Once I was sure Val was out for good I left Melody and Cain guarding her along with Uncle Gordon. None of them needed to hear what else I'd sensed.

We all met in the kitchen, our new arrivals digging into the food most of us hadn't had an appetite for and Skulduggery set about making coffee and tea as the Dead Men and Tanith gathered around us, the Dead Men also setting bags and cartons and boxes of take away everywhere. _Exactly how long do they expect this to go on?_ I wondered.

"What didn't you want them to hear?" Skulduggery asked, handing me a steaming mug of coffee.

"Tesseract knew his attacker. She was an assassin like him. They were lovers at one time and the interest is still there for her." I said and several of the men cursed.

"Then we leave him where he is." A bitter voice said from the doorway. I looked over to see Val standing there and wondered if she'd faked her reaction to Melody's voice. Her supposed bodyguards lurked sheepishly behind her.

"Sweetheart, you don't mean that." I said reassuringly.

"I agree with her, we leave him." Ghastly said, then calmly sipped his tea.

I crossed my arms and stared at them both. "We're the good guys, remember? And we don't get to pick and choose whom we rescue. Or do you forget helping me rescue Skulduggery all the times when the rest of the world wanted him to stay where he was?" Ghastly sighed and nodded.

I looked at Valkyrie. "I had a chance to abandon your father before we were married. In fact I was tempted more than once to leave because I was sure China would come back and ruin things for me. But I didn't. As hard as it was to stay when I felt that I'd lost him, I did. I trust your father with my life and now, as scary as it is, and as much as it hurts, you have to trust Tesseract the same way." She came and cuddled into me then.

I managed to get her to eat, thanking the heavens that the Dead Men apparently lived on take away and had brought even more they'd stored in the fridge. It occurred to me that more and more of my dreams were coming true, even if the events were out of order and didn't exactly match up. I just hoped as I watched her eat that the part where she and Tesseract would have a happily ever after would as well.

* * *

Early the next morning we were all up. Val was eager to get on with the case, but Skulduggery had different ideas. "Val, we stand back for now. We aren't abandoning Tesseract, but we are letting the Sanctuaries negotiate. And what Russia is telling us isn't good. He's been taken by a group we would call Father Winter."

"Father Winter, that's it? That doesn't sound very impressive." Val said, but my heart almost froze over. That was the only name for the magical world's most powerful crime organization. They could make mages and mortals disappear completely and if they had Tesseract they only wanted him as a weapon.

"Baby, remember hearing at the Sanctuary a few years ago how over a hundred criminals had been taken out all in one night?" I asked and she nodded. "Who do you think did it?" I asked and she paled.

"Which is why you two need training." Skulduggery said firmly. "You'll train with Darquesse during the day and Lord Vile and night, and they are going to push you, and you are going to hate them for it, but it's your only chance at surviving if we have to go to their home base, the Winter Kingdom. And make no mistake, this is no fairy tale and these people won't hesitate to kill any of us on sight."

The children looked dumbfounded, but so did everyone else. "We need to give the Sanctuaries time to negotiate." I explained calmly after exchanging a quick glance with Skulduggery. "That buys us time and they can't complain then when the Dead Men mount a rescue mission. I know he's there, but it's too soon to mount a rescue. We both need to be at full strength." I let myself become Darquesse so they'd know exactly what I meant. Val stayed cuddled into me, burrowing in deep.

I stroked her skull soothingly as I continued. "But they're finding him a lot harder to program then they thought it would be, Val. His love for you is what's keeping him strong." She looked up hopefully and I continued. "When we do get there, and we will, if anything goes wrong the rest of you will be evacuated by one of the Dead men. Lord Vile and myself- Well, that particular group of criminals won't be bothering anyone ever again if we have to show up." I said, my voice soft. I realized Lord Vile was now standing beside me and I hoped our kids would be up to the challenge of training with us.

* * *

Early the next morning I conferred with Lord Vile on the side lawn, two very nervous children watching us. They were used to us being affectionate, even as we were, but there was no time for the warm fuzzies right then. I looked at him, exchanging thoughts without words. We both knew the layout of the castle and that most of the criminals were highly accomplished mages. Winter magic sounded like a stupid Elemental focus until your opponent could spear you with ice spikes at a whim or freeze your blood instantly.

They might even be watching in a way we couldn't detect. _Good_ , I thought darkly, _let them watch_.

Lord Vile tilted his head at me in amusement then flung out his hand suddenly, sending both kids flying backwards. I suppressed a snort of laughter.

They got up, a little dazed, and angry too. That was good, we needed angry. I snapped my fingers and the ground opened up beneath them. Not far, but enough to send them screeching into it. I sighed. "For people who are half me and half Lord Vile you should react better."

"You never taught us like this before." Cain said, watching me warily as they managed to climb out and the ground resealed. I knew he thought we'd both gone insane and were going to kill him, but he had to be tough to face the battle ahead. Neither I or Vile had softened but we didn't want to do something that might lead to a mindless rampage if we didn't have to. As it was, unlocking the inner Vile and Darquesse in our kids was incredibly stupid and a lot like making bombs that could go off at random, but we had no choice.

Lord Vile stared at Cain hard. Cain seemed to get the message. "What are you fighting for?" I asked, starting to circle the kids. "What drives you to fight?" I knew the instant she thought it Val wanted revenge. "Wrong answer." I said, flinging a wall of shadows at her, she barely massed her own shadows in time to protect herself and gave an indignant squeak.

I walked close, looking deep into her eye sockets. "You sure these are our kids?" I asked Lord Vile, not breaking eye contact with her. "Because I sure don't see either of us in them." I made sure to sound disgusted and with a roar Val came at me, shifting so that her armour was on. I flipped her over me easily and she landed on her back stunned. Cain bellowed in rage and used his shadows to ram into me.

Then Vile was beside me, peeling him off, pinning him to the ground, but Val was already getting up, trying to club Vile senseless with her shadows. He glared at her and stood up. Uh-oh. But she laughed at the challenge and stood to meet him. "Find me inside you. He's the enemy holding Tesseract, torturing him. Destroy him." I murmured, leaning close. There was no actual way she could hurt him, but it gave her the boost of rage she'd needed.

She soared off the ground then power-dived towards him, correcting herself when he shadow-walked out of range. Val had only meant to distract him, and as soon as he appeared Cain managed to shadow-walk to Vile and punched, his armoured fist swirling with shadows. If Vile hadn't massed his own the blow would have taken his head off. I whistled sharply and all three of them froze, then looked at me. "All right, enough for one session, provided you can give me the right answer. What are you fighting for?"

"My sister." Cain hissed angrily.

"My brother." Val said, sounding surprised that he was her real cause.

"Good." Skulduggery said, having returned to normal. I joined him, happy to put being Darquesse aside for a while. "We obviously changed your training. Both of us, or both Vile and Darquesse or a combination of the two once a day, or night. Tanith wants a go with you two later, and Ghastly. Consider yourselves in training. Now go eat, Mrs. G as you both call her switched her deliveries here without being told." The kids smiled happily and were taking off when they looked at me.

"You did good, both of you. I'm very proud of you, we both are." I assured them and at that they ran off. I turned to Skulduggery.

"Now I know what you felt like, training me. It killed me inside to do that to them, but they need it." I said shakily.

"I thought the same thing. Not even Vile wants to toss his offspring around, but the thing is to remember that we love them. We'd never hurt them in training. Oh, I'm sure they're sore all over, but they seem to love it like you did." There was a fond note in his voice and he smiled at me as he took my arm and led me inside.

Mrs. Gintlíocht was holding them in her arms, listening to their excited updates. She was well aware of the marriage and looked rather surprised that Tanith and I would make the cakes ourselves. She shook her head as the children sat down to devour her pastries. "I insist I be allowed to make something at least. How many people are you having?" She asked and sighed at my shrug.

"Well at least nine, including the official or whoever marries them. But it depends." I admitted.

"I'm marrying them." Erskine said, joining us and taking a jelly doughnut and coffee. "And you are inviting the Dead Men, right?" He asked hopefully.

"Now just wait a minute-" Skulduggery protested. "This is _their_ wedding. They choose who comes and who marries them. They don't have to invite anyone if that's what they want. We didn't have guests." He pointed out.

"Will you marry us?" Cain asked and Erskine nodded. He exchanged a look with his sister. "Don't hate us, but we wanted a slightly bigger wedding. All the Dead Men as guests, and you too, Mrs. Gintlíocht. And grandfather and aunty Tanith too, of course. And you dad, and mom."

Val nodded, already tanked on sugar and caffeine. "And Jack and Reba and Charles and Sean. Our brother and sister are settling in, but if Anton comes, Tanny should too and Lee (her name For Ghastly Jr.) would show up with Calico Jane if they come, I bet. Pleeease?" She grinned hugely at me and I nodded. I was just glad she had Skulduggery's easy-going nature and didn't hold a grudge over being swatted around.

I snagged a pastry and some coffee, then sat beside Skulduggery. Ghastly and Tanith shown up as well and soon it seemed like everyone was in the kitchen, It took me a moment, but I realized Mrs. Gintlíocht was staying and that wasn't like the baker. She smiled at me. "Let me make the cakes for them. You have a design?" Ghastly handed her his mobile and she nodded.

"I already know what you were going to make, can even taste it, I won't disappoint and I refuse payment. The Sanctuary pays me very well for the deliveries and they always seem to want more." She said with a satisfied nod. "Besides, my grandson is very happy there."

"Will he come too, to the wedding, I mean?" Val asked excitedly. "I like George, Mrs. G, he's cool." She said and Mrs. Gintlíocht laughed cheerily.

"Of course, he will come. He misses seeing the two of you in the weight room and hopes you've kept up your training at home. She said, then pecked both kids affectionately and left.

"Wait, you quit training?" I asked and they both looked guilty. "Look guys, weight lifting is one of the best things for you both, and you know you were both making progress. You were lifting huge amounts, Cain. And you were coming along too, Val. You can't let that slide, you know I still work out every day." And I did, too.

Val tried to grumble something about skeletons not needing to lift anything to be strong and Skulduggery looked at her. "Your mother is right. I don't know how or why, but if we didn't spar all the time I'd be in terrible shape."

It was one of the mysteries about living skeletons. Skulduggery was naturally much stronger than any man, but having watched me lift dumbbells he tried it himself and soon found he was making massive progress. I had to keep protein powder on hand and made sure our diets, aside from the sweets were packed with nutrition. We still ate a lot of junk, I guess, but we were getting there.

 _Just what the bad guys want to hear, Lord Vile pumping iron._ I grinned to myself.

* * *

Later that afternoon we both watched Tanith train the kids. They'd figured out to work as a team and she had her hands full. Though she was smart enough to train them one on one as well. When Val complained Tanith's eyes narrowed. "The place we're going to is more like a twisting series of tunnels, and they won't want us together. Fighting as a team is important, but you have to be able to fight on your own as well." She said, then rushed Val, who was training with my sword.

She managed to rap her a good one as she went past, which made Val angry. Again and again Val got hit until she blew her stack and dropped my sword, launching shadows at Tanith, then took off into the sky for an aerial attack. I deflected the shadows with my own and raced up after her, thankful the grounds had been warded and we wouldn't be spotted. Higher and higher we raced and I started to spiral tightly around Val, manipulating the air to spin her like a top.

At first she was angry, but then she got dizzy and spun out. I dove after her, grabbing her with my shadows, then power dove towards the ground. It rushed closer and closer, and Val was screaming and clinging tightly to me. "Mom! We're gonna crash, are you crazy?" She yelled.

I just grinned and corrected at the last second. Going faster and faster as we swooped back up into the sky until I stopped abruptly and threw Val from me. She screamed and uttered a lot of curses I didn't know she knew, but then she was flying on her own. She came back to me, clearly ecstatic. "Mom, I'm flying!" She enthused.

I laughed gently. "Yes, Val. You did it twice already today. Now are you done getting angry?" I asked and she blushed. "It's OK, Val. That's why were training you, so you can learn to control your anger and use it when you need it. Come on, I'll give you a ride down." I invited, holding out my arms. Val abruptly realized she was standing in midair and yelped and clung to me.

I grinned and drew her into a waltz, floating back to the ground in a lazy spiral. She grinned back, relaxing, and by the time we touched down she was enjoying herself. I just gave Skulduggery and Tanith a lunatic grin so my baby could run for it and Val made good her escape. "Was that Darquesse or Valkyrie who did that?" Skulduggery asked. I shrugged and he nodded. "Good enough for me."

* * *

At dinner that night in one of the dining rooms, everyone was crowded around a table of take away, listening good-naturedly to Val's breathless account when Jack and Charles walked in, dropping their bags in surprise. "What's goin' on, then?" Jack asked, sounding slightly hurt and Charles looked grieved as well to be left out if the children were involved.

"Dad!" Cain yelled, excitedly, rushing up to hug first Jack, who grinned with pleasure, instantly forgiving him, then Charles, who melted into putty when he was called dad too. "It was my idea. You've both done so much for both of us, and it took you years to get into that exclusive magical resort, so-" He shrugged.

Val had gotten up more demurely than her brother and went for her hugs as well. They'd adopted her as a daughter which made me happy. They happily crowded into the table, accepting heaping plates of take away and listened to her continued account of training with interest, then grunted when they heard Tesseract had been abducted. In fact, Jack laughed, then patted Val's hand. "Listen, love. If your Tess got abducted, he _wanted_ to be. I won't be tellin' you stories about your sweetheart, but it's a plan he's used before. Still, the mission's a good one, we could all do without them on the planet."

"Jack, that's a bit harsh." Charles said in dismay and Melody snorted.

"Ever seen the unrated version of Hostel? Where do you think mortals got the idea from, Charles? The only reason we haven't been attacked is because they don't see us as a threat or of any use. If they did, they'd have us all in cells and break us down into what they wanted. Oh, sorry, Val." She apologized at Val's frightened whine. "But you know something? Anyone Darquesse helps gets a bit of her inside them. Not enough to go Darquesse, but somebody got her regenerative powers when she healed him." She finished amused. Val looked up at me and I nodded.

"Everyone I've helped got it, in relation to what I did for them. It took a lot to help Tess, so I'm sure he's got a lot of healing reserves right now, and don't you worry sweetie, he knows that woman who's got him isn't the one for him. I touched minds with him briefly, he's hanging in there. He knows it will take time, and he'll wait for you. Don't ever forget, he _is_ Tess. If they make one mistake he's perfectly capable of killing every last one of them. I-" I paused and looked at Skulduggery. "This is where you remember you love me. I'll take longer to be back to normal. I'm forever linked to those I heal and I willed some interesting upgrades to Tess. Real interesting."

* * *

 **Well, well, well. Will they need a rescue mission or will an upgraded Tess go nuclear winter on Father Winter? Stay tuned for the next chilling chapter. Yes, I learned summary from Stan Lee. Sue me. Comments welcome!**


	72. Chapter 72

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Tanith, Darquesse, Lord Vile, Billy-Ray, Ghastly, Jack, Tesseract, the Dead Men or Professor Xavier. Val, Mrs. G, Melody, Father Winter, Calamity, Mimic and Cain are still mine, though. The genetic engineering Valkyrie and Melody talk about does not take place in the novels. Last chapter alert!

* * *

Later that evening I went to Melody's room to meet with her, bearing a tray laden with coffee and pastries for both of us as a peace offering. I was sure it had to be overwhelming and a bit lonely to suddenly be in the middle of a group of people who knew each other so well. And it was no excuse, but it was like she had a talent for fading into the background. I had literally not remembered her for hours at a time and we hadn't even included her in the plans to raid Father Winter's fortress.

Melody welcomed me graciously, and I was struck again by how truly beautiful she was, and what a kind and sweet woman my son was marrying. "How are you holding up?" I asked as we sat down to our snack and she shrugged and smiled. "I wanted to talk to you a few minutes, so you know everything that's going on." I said and she nodded. So I told her, that firstly, she hadn't been left out of the children's training on purpose. "I'm sorry, Mel, you have no idea how sorry. I love you like a sister, but all of us seem to have complete amnesia when it comes to including you. There's no excuse for that."

She seemed stunned at first, but then she surprised me. "I was _trying_ to be forgotten. I was watching you train with them and my hearing and abilities are good enough that I know they'd taunt me and how. Just one blow in anger and I could kill one of them without meaning to."

"I know you'd never intentionally hurt either one of them, Mel, but you're right, even a mild swat from you could fracture bones and those two brats would taunt you until they got a reaction. They wouldn't do it to be mean, but you were watching them train, so you know all about it." I said and she smiled and nodded.

"I thought at first I'd been left out because I wasn't good enough, because my powers aren't always a sure thing, so I kinda liked the part where you threw Val as far as you did." She said and giggled. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I know she's an utter brat, Mel, and I know you may feel like you have to fight her at time for Cain's attention. But in his defense I remember being an older sibling and little sisters become your universe, more important than your parents, even." I said and she nodded, understanding.

I told her two about how Val had come along at a time when my family was in danger of falling apart. "I felt so responsible, Mel, that I lived for my job and I could have lost my husband and son over it. "So I know I indulge them. And yes, having Val was part of that indulgence, giving up a job that was destroying my family was too and I never looked back. They really are sweet kids, but I know they are both spoiled, it's just that well-"

I shrugged, but she read my mind, literally. "Being skeletons they know how ugly they are to the world. So it makes sense the family all gathered together for Val. She has to feel so lonely, and afraid since that blond bimbo has Tess." She said, then touched her own blond hair with a laugh.

There was a faint squeak of agreement from the doorway and I turned to see Val in the doorway. "I came to apologize. I know I glom on to my bro, but, it is hard, Mel, I'm not pretty like you." Mel got up and ushered her in with a tight hug.

"You're my sister now, Val." She said fiercely. "And nobody says my sister isn't beautiful, especially not her, OK? You are so beautiful, and sweet and kind. So what if you're spoiled? I am too now, being here. Nobody ever brought me a snack before or stopped by to apologize for anything. Come on, let's have a girl's night in, hmm? A craic, you call it, right?"

Val nodded eagerly and I would have left the girls to it, but they stopped me imploringly. "Mom, come on, you gotta stay." Val said, settling into the sofa with a snagged pastry. "Besides, aunty Tanny is on her way with pastries and coffee too. And you know she hates coffee." She said with a giggle.

And Tanith did arrive, and soon it was we women sitting where we could having coffee and sweets and being happy not to have the men around. I exchanged glances with Tanith when the girls were busy and knew she understood. We were getting to see our lovely brides-to-be bonding as sisters, like we had. And even though I sometimes wondered if Tanith would ever forgive me for whom I'd hired when I was an Elder her warm smile showed me she had. "I understand now, what it's like being a leader." She said with a sigh. "I've been handling detectives as they come in that hate each other and want each other fired, how did you stand it?" She asked.

I smiled. "You remind yourself that since you are the leader it's your job to care about everyone, not play favourites. Then you force them to bond." I said with a grin and she laughed. Which led to having to tell Mel and Val about the time the criminals had first become good guys.

"And you just trusted them all like that? Mel asked, wide-eyed.

"I took a gamble." I said, honestly. "And truth be told, Mel, I'd done enough terrible things in my life to realize I couldn't judge them. Besides, they all proved loyal. Without Jack I don't think the kids would have turned out half as well." I admitted.

"Billy-Ray and Calamity too, don't forget." Tanith added then smiled at me with a shrug. "I'm at peace now, Val. I see exactly why you did what you did. Had they been turned away, had a single former bad guy left we'd have lost them all, and I'd still like to know who made them all leave."

We all nodded. I'd wondered that myself and even as Darquesse I didn't know who it was or why. It would be easy to blame anyone, foreign Sanctuaries, holier-than-thou members of the Sanctuary with an axe to grind, anybody. I'd asked Jack and although he couldn't remember who it was, he did remember being threatened with Cain finding out the truth. Mel however, snorted. "I can tell you exactly who it was, and I'm sure of it." She said.

We all looked at her. "I wasn't the only super weapon the US was engineering. I only know the codename of the project, Mimic, but he, she or it was capable if infiltrating anywhere and fitting right in. Mimic was to be used to break down Ireland, but went rouge like I did. Unfortunately it has been popping up in random Sanctuaries and causing chaos because it somehow knows that is what it was engineered to do."

"How do you know all this?" I asked.

"It comes with my genetic upgrade from the super vampire. I can access information about the other mutants at random, no idea how. But as soon as you mentioned the problem I knew who it was. I might have even tapped into your abilities as Darquesse and bypassed the mental block you've been getting. Sorry, but look at it this way, I'd be ten times worse without my necklace. Think Professor Xavier in drag." She said, then howled with laughter.

"I'm glad you felt sorry for Ireland." I said faintly and she smiled.

"I did, I had mixed abilities like this before my upgrade. I was supposed to be the perfect soldier, the answer to Darquesse and Lord Vile with the ability to destroy them both. The US is rather paranoid and it didn't take much convincing for our "leaders" to make a lot of people believe Ireland was about to unleash them on us. I already knew it wasn't true because I knew where you both were as soon as you were mentioned. I guess they should have picked a person less gullible, though I did fall for the promise of a cure, even when I knew they were lying. I hoped I'd get lucky."

She shrugged and before I could say anything she continued. "Before you ask, not even Darquesse could help me. I literally don't have to eat or do a whole bunch of other things, but I choose to eat and sleep so I can feel more human and less like a machine. My powers are tied to my size. They were before the engineering and that only made it worse. You'd think they'd want an athletic, trim, super weapon, right? No, they wanted one you'd never suspect. Someone who could melt into the background, who when you saw her, wouldn't look like a threat." Melody shrugged again and I knew it had to hurt despite her brave act but she surprised me.

"I've grown to accept I am who I am. I can never be thin, but I can never gain weight, either. Do you know how many people would kill for that ability? And I'm not the worst of the test subjects. Some of them were killed outright by the testing or wish they had died. At least I _look_ human." I nodded, this was a lot to take in. If even one of the people who had been tested on remained loyal we could have a serious problem on our hands.

* * *

I was taking the empty pots and cups back to the kitchen with Val's help when the front door swung open and Tesseract stepped in. Val screamed happily, immediately dropping her cups and running to him and Tess took her tightly into his arms, initiating a reunion kiss that made me continue on into the kitchen. Jack, who had let him in, doffed his hat to me and walked around to couple toward his and Charles' room.

I had thought this might happen, that our Tess would use the upgrades and come home, but now the giant of a man would need bedrest for a few weeks. I knew without asking that he'd eliminated all of Father Winter and that all we would find was an empty fortress. I just hoped that no one figured out just how much power Darquesse has temporarily sent him. Shadow-walking, for example and the know-how to use it. He had been Darquesse for one shining moment. It had been a near thing, but I'd known if anyone could use the powers to escape he could.

Val's scream and the sound of the mugs she'd dropped breaking had brought Skulduggery and Cain down, though they too had bypassed the happy couple. Skulduggery stared hard at me and I looked away. "Darquesse couldn't go so she loaned her powers out, _didn't_ she?" He asked, anger in his voice.

"She's my daughter." I said helplessly and his face softened. "I knew I couldn't be at one hundred percent and fight for long, neither could you. But I could amp up my power and loan it out to someone already there. Yes, it was risky, but as strange as it sounds the connection from healing him somehow healed me during the transfer of power. It was like getting back the power I'd used when I healed him. I'm fine now, I really am." I carefully left out the part where as Darquesse I'd planned a lot of this out and neglected to tell anyone.

Skulduggery nodded at my explanation, then came forward to sweep me into his arms. "That's why I love you. You put our children first, and their happiness first. Why don't you come to bed and we'll let those two get caught up, hmm?" He asked, nuzzling into me and I nodded. We walked past them and Val threw me a hopeful look.

"Go on." I said and they took off to his trailer. I wanted the big man to have a healing so I sent Skulduggery ahead and got Mel up. She seemed delighted Tesseract was back and promised to go out as soon as she could dress. I wanted to just reach my bed, but we must have awakened the household because soon the entire house was awake and moving. I sighed as Skulduggery rejoined me.

"Coffee?" He offered and I nodded wearily as I followed him to the kitchen. I giggled as he wrapped his arms around me after the kettle was on. He leaned down, his teeth brushing my ear. "Oh, and I know you lied before, my sweet Darquesse. You knew what Lord Vile was planning and moved faster." He gave a soft growl. "But on the other hand, whoever taught you to be that clever? That's right, _me_."

He spun me around to face him, grinning broadly. "It's all right, it was fun to try and race Darquesse. Though as a general it is annoying to get defeated. Still, my little destroyer of worlds did well." He said fondly. I heard a gagging sound and turned to see Cain in the doorway.

"Dad! It's totally gross when you two coo at each other." He complained. Mel, on her way out to heal Tess, howled with laughter.

"She's going to need that sense of humour to deal with you." I said, a smile twitching up the corners of my lips. "Such a gwouchy baby skeleton. Isn't he the one who bit me, sweetie?" I asked Skulduggery and Cain looked mortified. "Come here, sweetheart, mom's just teasing." I said and he came and cuddled into me.

His assorted uncles wandered in, all needing assured that the trip to support Val had done them good. Ghastly, of course, was not amused. "If you two were racing one another, why didn't you send us all home?" He growled. Then his face cleared of all expression. "You- You didn't expect to live thorough rescuing him, did you?" He asked, then shook his head.

"Nope, dad. Figured I'd go out in a blaze of glory. I swear Lord Vile and I were trying to slow one another down. I might love the man but this was, well, a competition. That, and I wanted him out of harm's way." I said, and sure enough Lord Vile chose that time to grace us with his presence.

He shot me a glare, then his gaze softened. He was back to not speaking, but I could hear his thoughts well enough. "Well, sweetie, as the destroyer of worlds it is my job to destroy worlds. And Father Winter's world was really destroyed. Besides allowing a homicidal maniac slash professional assassin to become me for a while, well that was a first, even for me. " I said proudly, then realized I'd went Darquesse, because Valkyrie would never have been stupid enough to admit to such sneakiness.

Vile snorted, but didn't attack. I read his thoughts again. "Well, the other night when I was asleep, I sort of connected with him in my dreams. I didn't take over his body exactly, more like I made him me for a little while and watched me go on a bloody rampage. I like me." I said proudly.

Cain nuzzled in deeper. "Mom, are you all right?" He asked worriedly. I nodded, then realized I'd levitated off the floor in my excitement, dragging my son with me. My shadows has massed around me, pulsing with my excitement. I sighed and forced Darquesse back down. I landed and tilted his skull up so he would look at me.

"I'm OK, baby. But when anyone touches my family, I don't take it too well. I love Tess like he's family now, and I know what it's like, thinking you'll never have the person you love back. I'm in control, but you know how I get as Darquesse." I said gently.

He nodded as he stepped away and I decided to use my magic to apologize to him. I could apologize to Mrs. G later, and I wouldn't really need to, she kept a box for me, specially for his favourite parlor trick. I made passes with my hands through the air, clapped my hands together, then opened them, and a box of her best doughnuts appeared. He laughed happily like he always did as I handed it to him, then thoughtfully shared it with everyone. "Thanks, mom." He said around a doughnut.

"Yeah, thanks, Val." Ghastly said around another doughnut and I nodded as the men dug in. Being Dead Men I knew they accepted our strategy as insane as it had sounded. Lord Vile and I had been trying to keep one another safe while trying to mass enough energy to go face Father Winter alone. The Dead Men had been allowed to stay because we both knew one or both of us would fail. Stupid, you say? Try having kids then you'll understand completely.

* * *

"Anything you can do, I can do better." I sang to Skulduggery as we at last got into bed and he laughed.

"That you can, for today. But remember I have unknown depths of trickery in me, madam. And you have no idea what Lord Vile is going to do with the information on the other prototypes the US built. Frankly they disappoint me. After you making me sit through five billion military zombie movies I expected at least one."

"Shut up, Skulduggery!" I yelled, because when we mentioned zombies they tended to appear. There was a moment of silence as we strained to listen for an advancing horde, then we both heard the whoosh of an incoming rocket and rolled out of bed, just before it burst through the window, detonating and only our combined air shields held off the effect of the blast. We ran to the window my armour flowing over me and looked down, fully expecting to see zombie commandos from hell. What we did see was a chagrined Billy-Ray and Calamity and a rather guilty-looking Cain holding a now-empty bazooka.

"Sorry?" He tried.

I shook my head and leapt to the ground, leaving Lord Vile to do the repair work. "At least it isn't a suitcase nuke." I said evenly. Then looked at Billy-Ray with narrowed eyes. ""Explain."

"We was, uh- We were, um-" He faltered and Calamity stepped in front of him, and glommed onto me, laughing with glee at our reunion. What in God's name was it with Americans? They thought laughter and hugging people solved everything. Of course, to be fair it worked, and I laughed myself. I knew no harm had been meant.

"It's alright. nobody's hurt. Luckily we were all up so no harm done." I said looking at my son fondly. "Shouldn't you be in Mel's room?" I asked cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Mom!" He wailed in embarrassment and I grinned. Some days being a parent was a lot of fun.

* * *

Over the next few days things settled down and the Dead Men lingered. Partly to make sure everything was truly over (the bazooka incident had spooked everyone good) and there were two weddings to plan. After which I planned to hide from my lunatic children before one of them found another weapon to play with. And I think Skulduggery planned on joining me.

* * *

 **I know shorter chapter, but I wanted to leave it with the hint of upcoming wedding. I honestly think I'll leave it there, with a bright future and all that. Thanks for reading! EDIT: Apparently one person out there thinks this should go on. I'll see what I can do but have a little patience.**


	73. Chapter 73

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Darquesse, Lord Vile, Tipstaff, Erskine, Tesseract, Finbar or Ghastly. Cain and Val are my babies though. I don't know if anyone wanted this, but I had one heck of a nightmare last night. The creative process being a harsh mistress indeed. Uh, thanks go out to my readers that showed support.

* * *

I clawed my way out of the remains of a nightmare, none of which made any sense, yet all it did. And as nightmares went this had been worse than anything from any case we'd ever been on. Worse than anything I'd done as Darquesse, because, as far as I or anyone else knew, I was no longer Darquesse. And it had happened, now that I thought of it, for the most perfect reason possible.

The wedding for our children had been wonderful. Their spouses had been well dressed, but it had been my offspring that made my breath catch. Cain had looked like a god of the underworld in his tuxedo of shadowy fabric. He'd stood tall and proud as he awaited Melody's approach and from the look on his face it had hit me then that he was a man now, no longer a child and I'd felt a lump in my throat.

And as for my beloved Val she had taken my breath away. More beautiful than any bride I'd ever seen, a vision of skeletal beauty in lace and cascading silk she'd trembled as she'd gone to meet her beloved Tesseract and as the ceremony went on, Skulduggery bumped me discretely and I sighed. I knew what he wanted. Something that as Darquesse I could give my children with a skill that would surpass any mage.

And as both had approached me after, I'd bit my lip, then nodded my agreement. In a perfect world everyone would feel as I felt, that my babies were perfect, but, I could no longer use my pride in my beautiful children or motherly love as an excuse not to grant their wishes. They were adults now and while I could not grant them full bodies, the façades I could grant and did as I touched my children's temples were exceptional.

My children had always been perfect to me, but as I closed my eyes as Darquesse and completed their transformations I heard a gasp and when I opened my eyes as Valkyrie once more, I knew why. I'd thought people had noticed my abrupt shift back, but no, it was my children. Cain made Erskine look downright homely and had Val been married to anyone but Tess I'd have worried about her husband having to fight off the competition. Not that she was a bad girl by any means, but she'd attract attention now and she knew it.

Ghastly, thankfully, had designed the wedding clothes to embrace the transformations and as my daughter hugged me as warm as any flesh and blood woman for the first time I felt her joy. "Mom, are you OK?" She whispered in my ear. "And thanks."

"Think nothing of it." I said, still amazed at my own work. "And I'm fine sweetie." Both children looked slightly guilty but I assured them I was fine. The kids has swallowed the lie I'd made up, but Skulduggery hadn't.

"Remind Lord Vile to beat you." He'd murmured as we ate at the reception.

"Hush. I just regret not having enough left in me for you, you know that." I said and he gave me a cheerfully dismissive wave.

"I happen to _like_ being a skeleton. Tell me those are just really good façades though."

"They are, but the opposite of what yours was. They'll have to remember to take them off, not put them on. It might get annoying, but safety first." I said and he nodded. "And they can't be forced off, either. I can imitate everything. They are warm to the touch, they feel like everyone else on the outside, it should feel like having flesh."

"You're a skeleton in your armour, so you tell me." Skulduggery pointed out.

"I wasn't born one."

"Ah."

And then he'd let it go. The reception had went well, we'd seen our children off and now we were back home. And the nightmare had come. It didn't even make any sense. I was in the woods by the sea, as strange as that sounds, high up on a cliff. And a skeleton in a wedding dress had been trying to either drag me underground or into a cave or something. I had fleeting memories of her dragging me through the woods, through brambles and remembered stories of the Good Folk and shivered. That's all we needed.

"Cold, dearheart?" Skulduggery asked in that velvety voice of his and my insides turned to mush as they always did.

"No, nightmare." I confessed and he tsked me then kissed me and got up to make coffee. I watched him, amused that his suits now looked perfect, even when slept in. He gave me a glance over his shoulder and I swore he winked at me. I stuck my tongue out at him in response and he laughed.

"You could tell me about the nightmare." He offered and so I did and Skulduggery looked thoughtful as he returned with coffee for both of us.

"Hmm. Well, it sounds like research is called for as I highly doubt your dream had anything to do with Val. Or Cain." He added and I nodded. I hadn't seen him in the dream, but only after did I remember a skeleton knight in black armour astride a white horse, watching me.

"The strange thing was, I think they were excited to see me, happy even. But let's just drop it, could we?" I asked and Skulduggery stared at me until I relented. "Fine. But you know there is no subculture of skeletons running around Ireland outside of this family, right?" I asked as we finished our coffee and rose to dress.

"That we know of. We're magic, Val. We can't brush off dreams like mortals. Maybe it is nothing, maybe it isn't."

We exchanged uneasy glances as we finished dressing and left the house to grab breakfast out. Neither of us wanted to say it, but while mortal pagans viewed the Good Folk as reawakened old gods, mages viewed them as very real and very dangerous, and nothing like the fluffy cartoons or courtly lovers mortals prattled on about.

* * *

Tipstaff was one of the few people at the Sanctuary, most were still recovering from the revels of the wedding reception as our kids had decided the entire Sanctuary was family. He listened attentively to my dream then tapped his chin thoughtfully. "What you describe sounds like Death from the Tarot. The knight on horseback? And the bride, well, that is another culture as well, but let's see. It's entirely possible your talent from Necromancy has the dead asking for help."

Skulduggery shrugged at my mystified glance and we followed Tipstaff to a room where case material too sensitive for even most Sanctuary detectives was kept. Tipstaff riffled through some older files, then looked at us. "What I'm looking for isn't here. But to be truthful I had roughly the same dream." We both looked at Skulduggery.

"Maybe." He admitted.

"And you were going to tell me this _when_ , Skulduggery?" I growled and he just smiled at me.

* * *

We made calls as best we could, but it seemed as though we were the only three to have the same dream. And as the Good Folk tended to show up and ask for help in person we'd all agreed to turn our research to either ghostly communication, as much as Skulduggery had laughed at the idea, or something deeper.

Which meant a trip to see Finbar, who was also recovering from the wedding. He blinked sleepily as he opened the door. "Hey, Skul-man, Valley Girl. You wanna see the old lady?"

"No, Finbar. We don't know her. We're here to find someone." Skulduggery said patiently.

"Yeah, OK." Finbar said then opened the door and led the way upstairs. "How about a kitten tattoo, Val? A big one with a bow and a ball of yarn?"

"No thanks."

"Princess Celestia?"

"Who now?"

"From _My Little Pony_?"

"Never saw it." I said and I hadn't. I think I'd caught exactly six seconds of an episode once and it still gave me vivid nightmares that people would actually watch something so sweet. Unless the ponies started turning into vampires and killing one another off, I wanted no part of it.

Finbar made us tea, then went into his trance, already knowing about the dream. He tilted his head this way and that. "Wow, I'm seeing the forest you three were in. But, it's like it's both here in Ireland and not here, you know what I mean?" We said nothing, letting him go on. "And the knight, I can see him, he's looking right at me, and the bride." Finbar's head snapped back and he jumped up, still in the trance.

We went and held him gently, afraid he'd hurt himself. "No, it's not possible. No." He gasped as if he'd had a terrible vision, then came to. "Why'd you come here? Why ask me? They aren't from here, they shouldn't even _be_ here. You know what you saw." Finbar glared at Skulduggery

"Finbar, the, look, I'm as respectful of neo-pagans as you are, but if you're going to tell me we saw old Celtic gods of the underworld in the only medium Valkyrie could understand..."

"No, that isn't what they were. But they are Death. They both are." He looked horrified, as if death him or herself was about to appear.

I sighed. "Finbar, death is a process, not a person."

"Tell them that." He muttered, looking away. "I was always cool with the _concept_ you know, and they seem nice and everything, but it's one thing to think a concept is cool and _really_ see it. Death chose you three. That's pretty deep."

"Then why two forms, why not one?"

"I dunno. I'm not the most religious guy. Maybe a metaphor for something. Or being, you know Death, They or She or whatever had to dial it back or you might have imploded or died or something."

We thanked Finbar and left with more questions than answers. I didn't believe for a minute that Death him or herself had appeared to us. I did believe that we'd had a huge wedding and too much good food and a long reception. A shared dream was nothing more than that, a shared dream. And yet...

I called Tipstaff who listened then answered thoughtfully after I told him about Finbar's vision. "And not old gods from here? I think you're right, Valkyrie. Someone could have spiked the coffee or desserts, not meaning to be cruel, and it had unexpected results. There are perfectly mundane herbs that would have given us all the same dream, especially with having seen so many skeletons last night. And well, caves and paths through woods, it's very yonic."

I winced. He was right. All three of us could have been terrified of our children loosing their innocence as Tipstaff was yet another father to them. We all agreed to dismiss the dream. After all, it wasn't like the Grim Reaper would show up in the streets of Ireland if we did nothing.

* * *

Until, of course, the next day, he did. It wasn't anywhere near the right season but someone, newscasters blamed college kids, had put grim reaper statues, paintings and more everywhere. The knight on horseback from the Tarot was seated on a rearing horse in the park, the statue towering over the throng gathered around it.

Skeletons with scythes and burial shrouds decorated window shops, causing some other reporters to blame them, and wall murals of Death as he or she was seen the world over were everywhere. Children hadn't been left out either, every single one waking up to find papier-mâché skulls filled to the brim with candy and plush reapers. It was downright uncanny. We watched the news as we sipped our morning coffee and I felt the excitement I felt for every good case. "Who could do all this in one night?" I asked, feeling around sleepily for a lead.

"Could be mortal pranksters for all we know." Skulduggery said thoughtfully. "For magic? Anyone. Teleporters, Necromancers, even determined Elementals. But I don't think this was anyone magical, not in our sense at least. This could blow the lid off magic and I'm surprised we haven't been called in yet."

"Maybe it was just, you know, art students." I offered hopefully, but that didn't explain everyone in Ireland finding something. Except us. I went to the kitchen for more coffee and screamed. There on the kitchen table was a massive statue of Death, a basket at his or her feet, filled to the brim with breakfast makings.

There was a note attached and I took it as Skulduggery rushed to join me. "Now do you believe we are real? We are everywhere at once. We are many, yet one." I read out loud. I looked at Skulduggery. Some mortals had already dug into the clearly homemade treats that had come in the skulls and into baskets of goodies like ours and come to no harm. "Delayed magical virus?" I asked uneasily.

"Doubtful. No, I believe this is a goodwill gesture. Let's dig in and maybe the mystery will solve itself." I nodded, not saying that we were most likely walking into a trap.

* * *

 **I need to go back on coffee more often. I write really trippy stories on it. Hope you liked it!**


	74. Chapter 74

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Erskine, Ghastly, Tipstaff and nobody but a fool claims to own Death. Massive thanks go out to **The-empty-masquerade** for the fave and follow.

* * *

And dig in we did, and I looked at Skulduggery. "All our favourite foods." I said as we got the basket open and proceeded to cook a feast, the statue of Death as the Grim Reaper watching over us as we did. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I asked as I saw to bacon and sausage.

"She?" Skulduggery asked, looking up as if the word had startled him. "I never told you she was female." He immediately clamped his gloved hand over his mouth in horror over his obvious slip and I looked at him.

"And why shouldn't I be female?" A lovely and rich voice asked and I looked over to see Death clad in a black robe standing by her statue. She held up a hand. "Please. I mean you no harm. I'm your Death, Valkyrie Cain. For even you must pass one day, being Darquesse or not." She sounded warmly amused and as I watched she morphed from a skeleton into a beautiful woman.

She held out her arms and although I knew better I went to her and cuddled in and she stroked my hair soothingly. "I forget my magical children can see more than one aspect at once. I must have given you a fright." I burrowed in tighter in response and she crooned lovingly. _Child_ , she'd called me child. I have a mother again.

Death stepped back to look at me. "You'll always have your mother, dear one. And you'll always have me. You happened to just see your man's aspect as well."

Skulduggery actually blushed in reply and looked away. I could swore he was smitten, but I didn't mind. There was something about her, something warm and loving and comforting. I knew it could be a trap, that she could just be a mage leading a group that put her things in place, because the reaction had been downright magical.

Schools had closed, but not out of fear. For a holiday. People were celebrating the wonder of the statues, paintings and gifts, for not a single person had been missed. Not a one. Not an unborn child, not a homeless person, not anyone. "Why us? Not that I mind, but-"

I trailed off as we got breakfast finished, Skulduggery loading up a plate for her before I even thought of it. He got her chair reverently and saw to her food and coffee and she thanked him. They both looked smitten, but in a way that didn't threaten me. She had the same affect on me, after all. It was all I could do not to crawl into her lap and ask her to feed me.

"Why not you?" She asked, sounding amused again. "I know you still don't believe in me, Valkyrie Cain, nor you, Skulduggery Pleasant, and that there's nothing I can do to change that. But, you'll see, in time, you'll see." She vanished, leaving her plate untouched and Skulduggery and I exchanged uneasy glances.

* * *

"That wasn't Death, no matter who or what that was, it wasn't Death." Skulduggery muttered as we sped towards the Sanctuary, the Bentley's engine roaring in delight over being set free.

I nodded. "Sorry, for a moment, I wanted it to be, you know?"

"I know." He said gently. "I was thinking of the old gods of Ireland by the way when I answered you. So don't go getting ideas that Death and I are best friends."

"So, we hallucinated then?"

"No, she was there all right, but did you see how she didn't eat?"

"She is Death. I mean, maybe she wasn't hungry..." I trailed off. Why couldn't we ever get a nice case for once?

* * *

Tipstaff met us and escorted us into Erskine's office. He looked at us wearily. "We've had teams out all night. Not a trace of magic, maybe it is just mortals having a lark but I don't think so." His own basket and statue sat on his desk and it triggered a thought in me.

"The statues, the baskets, that's it." I said and Skulduggery turned his head sharply to me.

"Of course." He said. "Of course, well done, Valkyrie. Now we know why they are everywhere, but we need to work backwards to how if we want to figure out what she or they are after."

"What?" Erskine asked.

"The statues. The paintings, even the baskets. Whoever she really is, she's using them to be close to where she needs to be."

"All right, but by every single person in Ireland?"

"What if they are meant to work on us?" I asked and Skulduggery shrugged but I went on. "It's like a really old episode of Doctor Who. Remember? All the cubes and they did something to people. Collected them or something?"

"Then why overlaps on buildings or in parks? No, we're missing something. I don't think we're looking at weaponry. Maybe she or they mean well, but think of it, Valkyrie. Why pick Death as a symbol?"

"Necromancers?"

"Maybe. And she seemed sweet enough, but remember. If it was Death, an actual personification, which, by the way, is not possible, why need us?"

"Maybe they've messed up." A deep voice rumbled as Ghastly joined us. He hugged me then escorted everyone to his office for tea. "The way I see it," He continued "is this. Someone, more powerful than us, upset a balance somewhere. Someone goofed big time. And you three, for whatever reason are part of it, but I think we all are. Every one of us."

"Ireland saves the world?" Erskine tried a smile to see if Ghastly were joking and got a level stare in reply.

"Are you that ashamed of your heritage that you think we can't anymore?" Ghastly rumbled. "Skulduggery and Valkyrie alone have saved the world countless times, we all have." Tipstaff's mobile buzzed and he answered it, then stepped back to us, clearly excited.

"It's happened, everywhere, not just Ireland. Things have just appeared in broad daylight. From the reports in the news it's gone global."

* * *

The whole Sanctuary was in an uproar and every Sanctuary in the world was playing nicely for once, some assuming Ireland had did this as a show of force, some assuming we were just the first hit. Death clearly was not welcome in a lot of cultures and as Calamity and Billy-Ray joined us they were the only happy Americans we'd heard from.

"Isn't this great!" Calamity enthused. I smiled. She still was beautiful, still dressed in all black cowgirl outfits, and she had a sunny attitude towards Death that Billy-Ray was in agreement with.

"Ya'll know what's coming next, right?" Billy-Ray asked. "If mama Death is making her nest all nice and cozy I reckon she'd fixin' on bringin' back her babies again. Ain't this just like old times? That was one heck of a battle, huh? And if Skul here hadn't sweet-talked Death herself into helping us-" He trailed off and Skulduggery stared at the floor.

"Am I givin' away secrets? I'm sorry." Billy-Ray said and we both knew he was. He'd changed all the villains had and as they all streamed into the huge command center they all took up various areas of research. Only Jack looked frightened and he sidled over to me as the others went to work and I kept my eyes on a news channel, searching for clues.

"You don't suppose, she's, you know, going to hand out punishment, do you?" He asked nervously.

"I doubt it, or we'd be gone already." I assured him and he nodded. "Jack, did you get a gift?" I asked and he nodded.

"I'm just a bit worried. Beautiful hat, it is. But it's like it came from her personal collection. It's got an energy to it." He took off his hat and handed it to me and I felt what he meant. The energy made even my armour pale in comparison. I shivered slightly, if she meant harm she was stronger than any of us. Then I shrugged.

"Collections, yes, that reminds me, will you watch the news feed, Jack?" I asked as another idea came to me. And he nodded as I got up and rushed over to Tipstaff.

"Where did all the gifts come from?" I asked and he stared at me. "Think of it. Unless whoever is behind this is shipping in stuff from an alterate universe there have to be huge shortages worldwide." He nodded and although we were scrambling, no leads were coming up.

There were no massive losses anywhere, there weren't any found yet, at least, and I had to wonder. All the things had been of Earthly origins, they had to come from somewhere, but where? Death appeared abruptly at my elbow and smiled at me.

"Recycling. All those things people assume they were going to throw away and didn't? Then they can't find them? All the forgotten things, the uncounted ones. You'd be surprised what you can do with that much material. All the food would have gone to waste, so why not give you all a little nudge, mm? It won't even be missed and that's the shame of it."

"But, you included everyone."

"Yes. Mages and mortal it makes no difference to me." She gestured and at her gesture I saw shadowy forms standing by each person. I wanted to shout that we were being attacked, but then I realized each person's personal Death was by them. She looked proudly at me. "Every living thing on this planet is mine. Life creates then walks away to create something else. It's not his fault, he's endlessly making more and I'm endlessly seeing to his creations."

"He sounds like an absentee father."

"You hush. He does his best, or she does. Depends on the mood and form Life is in. And they or he see to his creations and keep them company, but not like me, I am ever present. Guarding and nurturing that which life makes. I keep the balance he cannot."

"Because he can't end things?"

"That's right. And now, of course, there's trouble. You'd be surprised by how often it happens. Two things actually. One, a old enemy of yours is returning. He is doing his best to convince the others I'm not needed. That I have no function. That life eternal is what all living things deserve." She sighed. "But you weren't built to live forever. Parts wear out, people get ill. Can you imagine living forever with a terminal illness? It is what will happen if he gets his way."

I shivered. She was right. If there was no cure, if nothing dies, cancers wouldn't either. Decay wouldn't. The world would become terrible without her balance as unwelcome as she was in many places. "What can we do, how can we help?" I asked and she shrugged.

"I chose you three because he had a fascination with you. You have a little more protection right now. But my gifts to the world showed my love, my unwillingness to abandon my children. I love those who belong to me, and everyone belongs to me. If he forces things, my other children will return."

I had nothing to say to that. Billy-Ray was right and this was serious. But the last time the dead had returned was to fight an opponent who would have destroyed the world. I didn't think anyone would have been that powerful that we'd fought. "What's the other danger?" I asked and she looked at me.

"We have rules. We have agreements. So I can do little more than I already have. I've given him a warning, that I won't go away without a fight. I won't let him hurt any of you. But if he can sway the others, convince them I'm evil? I'll have no choice but to leave you. Be warned, Argeddion is returning."

* * *

 **This story is just a ball of sunshine, isn't it? Comments are welcome, you know.**


	75. Chapter 75

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Erskine, Wreath, Billy-Ray, Finbar, Ghastly or Argeddion. Thanks go out to **ANNIE** for reviewing. This chapter gets a little dark, so hang in there!

* * *

I turned to look at Death. My Death. "But he can't do that, can he? He can't just make them make you go away, can he?" I asked and the look of loving fondness that passed over her skeletal features broke my heart. She touched my face then laid her hand gently over my heart. "I will always be with you, dear one. Always."

"I don't understand."

"If we are separated, ever, look in your heart to find me. If you truly need me, then look in my heart and you will find me. We'll never truly be separated, no matter what he does."

"Is that what you think?" My head whipped towards the giant viewing screen.

Every screen in the room had Argeddion's smiling face on it. The terrible thing was, he didn't look evil. If anything a lulling sense of benevolence and security flooded me the moment I saw him. "Hello, my dear." He said, locking eyes with me. "It's a pity you lost your full powers when you've at last learned to use them for good."

I just stared and nodded. Anything he said sounded fine with me and as much as I loved my Death, as much as I knew something would go horribly wrong with his plan, I didn't resist as the picture seemed to flicker. How could I? Darquesse would have destroyed him to save the world, but I just watched, helpless.

"I know you agree with me, even as Darquesse you would have. Didn't you try to grant immortality yourself? I'm just strong enough to do it."Argeddion's gaze shifted away from me and his smile broadened. "I am now addressing the entire world, on every screen available. I bring you good tidings and a chance to step forward as a planet. Can you imagine a world with no death? Picture it, my friends, young and healthy forever."

An ad of all things came on, with Argeddion's soothing voice speaking over a touching scene. Against the backdrop of a park a little boy ran for his grandmother, and just as he reached her loving embrace she vanished from the screen. "Is death really inevitable?" He asked. "Do we really need to loose those we love or can we stay with them forever, just as we are now?"

"You're halting the aging process? How?" Death asked, clearly vexed but he went on as if he hadn't heard her and I was sure he had.

"Recently some terrible statues and things arrived." The statues of Death, so beautiful to people just a few days ago appeared on the screen with ominous music to underscore them. I gritted my teeth, wanting to scream in frustration as he went on. "Such ugly statues, such hideous tributes to the final triumph of death over us all."

"Looks like Death didn't do you any harm. How about giving the rest of us the right to choose at least? It ever occur to you that we might not all _want_ to live forever?" Billy-Ray snarled as he and Calamity jeered in response and it shook me free of my trace.

"So you can stop disease now, can you? Listen to yourself, Argeddion! You're not God, no one is! Yes, I tried to help my friends and family, but I realize now how hideous a mistake it would have been. We aren't meant to live forever. Knowing it ends is what gives life meaning and makes it such a precious gift." But he droned on about the wonders of eternal life and good health until the power to the screen was cut and Erskine gathered us all around him tensely.

"I don't know what plan the fool has, but we fight back. I never majored in science but even I know we need death on a daily basis. Cells die in us, diseases too." Death nodded. "Unless that's too small to be your department?" He asked flicking a questioning glance to her.

"No, I handle it all. This has happened before. Life can make a grim parody of my functions, but they will give you several weeks at most. I'm more worried about the first victims of violence, those fighting in wars, those praying to die so that their suffering ends."

"Can't you cheat? Take them early?" Erksine pleaded and she shook her head sadly.

"No. You may put the screens back on, I can already feel my power in this world fading. It's starting. The others see me as evil." We did as she asked and Argeddion turned his attention back to me. I could only wonder who the others were and what right they felt they had to take her away.

"There you are. I could still see and hear you, you know. Valkyrie, my dear, I am the one trying to help you. I feel nothing but love for you and all of humanity." The terrible thing was, he wasn't lying. "Skulduggery being a good husband and your unique family aside, how can you let the repulsive and evil creature anywhere near you?" He asked. "Can't you see that she is tricking you? She's evil, pure evil."

"I don't believe you."

"Really? You fear her, don't you? That's proof enough." He asked and my stomach flipped. I wanted to say that a healthy fear of death kept us from dancing in traffic. But was it death we feared? Or the pain of an accident, and a fear, deep down, that we might not die? That there would be no escape from the pain, ever, and if he has his way there wouldn't be. I realized then I had to speak up for her.

"No, I don't fear her." I said, and he looked shocked. "Do I want to die? Of course not. But we have to die, Argeddion. If nothing else then to make room for those who come after us. How can you expect people to do anything but curse you when they can't die? What happens when food runs out as it will? And water?"

"You're misguided. But I'll still save you. And I repeat: you fear her."

"No, I respect her. And I love her." I put an arm around Death. "Do you think if she wanted to she couldn't take me right this second? She couldn't take you or anyone? But she has perfect timing and she's part of a bigger picture we can't see. I know you mean well, you always have but I'm begging you to think this through. You aren't going to get the paradise you are hoping for, only God can do that."

"I'm your salvation." He said and then the screen went black.

* * *

Death had rules, and even she had to follow them. Although Argeddion had wormed his way to Life's side and presented his case, she couldn't tell us how to get there. We had to figure it out on or own. And several days after his appearance, she was gone. The statues and art remained, but Death herself was gone.

And everyone around the world celebrated. We knew from Death talking to us we'd have a little window of time before her hold was broken completely. A few days, a week at most to reach Life and convince him, her or they that a terrible mistake had been made. And we had no idea how.

We were sitting in a café, really having nothing we could do except go into the Sanctuary eventually, when a man dressed in black approached us, carrying his ever present cane. I smiled to see Wreath and stood up to hug him. "You're back! But how?"

Wreath sat down shakily as if the lack of Necromancer energy in the world had weakened him. "I don't know, to be honest, and it seems I arrived back to bedlam."

Skulduggery nodded his agreement. "There's no use listening to the radio anymore. If it isn't one of Argeddion's motivational speeches about loving one another, it's this." He gestured at the speakers on the outside of the café and we all winced.

Music had stopped being played days ago, replaced by endless talk shows and people just fought over whether the absence of death was a sign from some Divinity of the end of the world or not. I listened idly as the sides tore into one another and smiled bitterly. I had a sinking feeling the dead wouldn't be rising up and joining us, and worse still, I didn't feel well.

Neither did Skulduggery. He looked every day of his centuries and he was slower and slower to get up in the mornings. It was as if his soul were taking tiny test flights and it killed me to see my husband wearing out, becoming weak, but he rallied and put on a brave face as we all stared listlessly into our cups. "Come on." He said over his coffee. "Cheer up, Valkyrie. The kids can honeymoon forever now. They seem to be fine."

I nodded glumly. They were fine. They were from both of us and closer to real life than Skulduggery. "And the Necromancers are back, yay." I said feebly and we exchanged weary smiles with Wreath.

"Necromancers, of course, want to save the world, and this time we'll have to do it with you by our side." He replied and I hoped we wouldn't be too late.

* * *

At the Sanctuary Skulduggery paced as Wreath looked on in concern. "Death told you she is everywhere, but Life is with us as well." Skulduggery said as he stopped pacing. "Is that true? Are you here, listening? Surely you can see this is wrong?" He asked as he leaned suddenly against the wall wearily, but no response came. Wreath helped him to a chair, murmuring his agreement that a search to find Life was our only solution. Death after all had been spirited away and we had no way to find her.

Sensitives were sent for and Finbar did his best but if Life was anywhere it wasn't where he could be found. "Sorry." He apologized. "I can sense there are people around the world, searching. Not many, that's true, but they are looking for a way to reach Life or Argeddion. Who, despite his radio talks and his appearances on TV is proving impossible to find. It's like neither one is part of this plane anymore, you know?"

"What about Death?" Wreath asked and Finbar just shrugged unhappily.

"I know he meant well, but I also know he couldn't see the terrible harm that would come out of his plan. And the bad thing is, to be honest, the future's a total blank." We all shivered in response. Finbar and the others were thanked for coming then were home to their families fearing the worst.

"Hey, maybe he can make people stop fighting." Erskine tried.

Ghastly sighted. "That I can still disagree with you proves he can't. People aren't going to stop fighting or going to war. It is part of human nature to be willing to fight for those we love. But he was convinced he could change human nature by taking away the threat of death and as powerful as he is, he can't."

* * *

We drove home in weary silence and I idly parked myself in front of the TV. I had hardly eaten since Death had went away, I couldn't. I knew the nightmare the world would spin into and without being able to go Darquesse I could do nothing about it. And, shortly after her disappearance Lord Vile and all other Necromancers found themselves helpless. Instead of one final stand with the dead at our side as she'd promised all the death energy was leaving the planet.

And as nature hates a void the overbalance was already showing. Plants growing out of control, patients failing to respond to treatments to halt diseases. For every good thing people thought they were getting new nightmares were spilling into the world at a terrifying rate. Disturbing news reports about a final solution that would vaporize people in need of a merciful end were going on, I watched the screen as one scientist stared at a doctor in horror. "We don't know whether or not it would work. Without death would they die or would the helpless victims would still be alive and aware, spread out into atoms or not?"

Skulduggery came in with coffee and sat wearily beside me. "I tried, Valkyrie, but I couldn't find my way back to the land of the dead, none of us could. Even vampires and zombies tried to help."

I looked at him sharply. "I didn't want you to know in case we failed or got trapped on the other side but I've been taking teams out. Ghosts were sought but those with us are trapped here with us forever."

"We have to keep trying." I said but after a fruitless search of yet another graveyard for any energy with a group of Necromancers who were desperately trying to help I sat down against a tombstone with a sigh. "This is it, then. We live forever, and it goes on forever and we'll never be released from our suffering. What about the first car crashes, Skulduggery? What about war?"

Wreath sat down to my other side wearily. He no longer had the energy to fight with Skulduggery. "Haven't you heard the grand news? Argeddion has global peace talks underway." He said grimly.

Skulduggery sighed in response. "Even if he makes a perfect world where nothing can go wrong and nothing bad happens, we all heard Death. Life can only keep up his charade at her natural processes so long. We have to rescue her, as absurd as that sounds, but how?"

Wreath shrugged. I thought of something. Something so stupid it might actually work. "Doesn't anyone remember what she said?" I asked, jumping up excitedly. Wreath stared blankly, they all did. "About being in our hearts. About looking in hers."

"I doubt she meant it literally." Skulduggery pointed out faintly.

"No. Remember we all kept wondering why all the gifts? There must be something in the heart of them. It can't hurt to try." And try we did. Skulduggery sped us home, glancing at me hopefully.

"I hope you're right. I don't think I or the others have much longer." He said and I nodded grimly. Anything not purely alive was fading. Dying in a world without Death as Life overbalanced everything. Skulduggery barely managed to make it home and I had to drag him the rest of the way in. I set him down on a kitchen chair gently and he collapsed forward, his bones separating and his skull falling from the top of his spinal colum. I stared at my husband too shocked to scream. This time he really was dead, and there would be no getting him back.

* * *

 **Well, is it the end for Skulduggery and the world? You'll have to stay tuned to find out.**


	76. Chapter 76

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Argeddion, Erskine or Death. Thanks go out to everyone who reviewed, faved and followed. Hope this makes some sense I haven't written in ages and the chapter was just lying there half finished. So special thanks go out to **chatterobyn** for the reminder that I still have readers left.

* * *

But I didn't have time to grieve, I grabbed the statue of Death and smashed it, grabbing up the two necklaces that fell out. It was too late for Skulduggery, but I gathered up his bones in a bag and then put on one of the necklaces, wrapping the other around the closed neck of the bag and then tightening my grip tight on the sack.

The room spun around me and went black and when I could see again we were in the land of the dead. I was standing before Death's throne and she looked at me calmly. "Tell me you can fix him?" I begged, starting to cry now that she was there and she nodded and gestured for me to bring the bag to her.

Death crooned lovingly and put his bones back together with a single touch, then held Skulduggery's inert skeleton while I slipped the necklace on him. He gasped and sat up, looking first at me and then at Death. He looked back at me, seemingly in no hurry to leave her lap and looked rather smug about the whole experience. "I'd say well done, but you realize you are stuck here now right? That we both are?"

"What?" I and Death thundered at roughly the same time. "Skulduggery, can't you ever say thank you?" I growled, getting ready to knock his skull off. Death for her part actually scruffed him like you would with a kitten and he had sense enough to look chastised. But only just.

"Sorry?" He tried and we both glared at him. "Honestly, I shouldn't have teased. I'm a bad little skeleton." He was trying to hold back laughter and actually not in the least bit sorry, but we were both failing to repress our smiles. Skulduggery could charm anyone into anything, even us.

Death crooned and cuddled him close for a moment, the shooed him off her lap. Skulduggery came and took me in his arms, kissing me tenderly, his teeth pressed to my lips and I sighed happily and relaxed into him, my arms around his ribcage and my head resting against his sternum. "I love you." He whispered tenderly.

"I love you too." I whispered back. Death gave us a moment and when we turned back to her she was looking at us fondly.

"You aren't stuck here." She said gently. "The necklaces are your way here and back. Everyone got one. We can see a lot further that you can into the future. I knew you all might need a way to come to me if I could not come to you. I didn't miss a one."

"You cheated?" I asked and she looked pleased with herself.

"I'm _your_ death, of course I cheated." She was absolutely preening. And it made my heart melt that she cared that much. I knew that to a lot of people a world with no death or aging would be a dream come true, but I also knew from Skulduggery's collapse every Necromancer on the planet and everything from vampires to zombies would soon be joining us, shunted out of the world by an overabundance of life.

Though I didn't know how and Death tilted her head thoughtfully at my question. "I don't know to be honest. I can't go to them and I whispered to everyone the true nature of the gifts. But for the undead, trapped as they are between true life and my realm, I just don't know." She shrugged then waved her hand, a banquet table appearing in her throne room. "But now, we feast."

I was going to ask if we shouldn't be mounting a rescue mission of some sort, or try to find Life, but there was something her tone that made us both oblige her. She was being sneaky again, and sure enough, we hadn't been eating long when Argeddion showed up, looking frantic. "Something's wrong, you have to come back, now, and fix things." He said, and Death gave him a lazy look.

"Can't. You got me fired, remember? I'm out of a job. You made this mess, you fix it." She shooed him away and went back to eating.

"You don't understand, no one can die!" He pleaded.

"You just figure that out, bright boy?" She asked, clearly amused. "Let me guess, you've all gone back to killing one another and killing yourselves with your bad habits. And now you have to live though the aftermath." She shook her head and resumed eating, gesturing for us to join her. We did, exchanging uneasy glances. The warm and loving mother figure had been replaced by a being that couldn't care less about human suffering.

Then I realized what she was up to and joined in. "You're some kind of god now, Argeddion, fix things yourself."

"I've tried. And Life has gone haywire. He, they, whatever, they can't stop, they've gone into overdrive. I'm begging you for mercy."

Death abruptly stood up to tower over him, rage radiating off her. "You" she pressed a bony finger into his chest. "Don't get to beg for anything. Humans like you make me wish I'd stepped on the first member of your species the moment I saw it." She hissed.

Then she started to laugh and it wasn't a comforting sound. It was scary. "By the way, the only way you are here is that you died first. Nothing enters my realm alive. And with you gone I can restore balance at last." Argeddion tried to run but Death simply touched him and he dissolved into black dust. She laughed again and we could both feel the power radiating from her as she swung her scythe.

We were abruptly back in our world, and as soon as we arrived it happened. We could feel Death everywhere and she fixed the imbalance immediately. As we rushed to the Sanctuary we had to avoid cars with drivers who should have been long since dead slumped over the wheel, and were now careening unguided into whatever was in front of them.

Skulduggery smiled and looked at me. "Good to have her back, isn't it?" He asked.

"It is." I said as we made our way to the Sanctuary. There was mass panic there and Erskine was shouting to be heard. Skulduggery casually withdrew his revolver and fired, then smiled at Etskine's nervous glance of thanks.

"Right. Thank you, Skulduggery. Look, everything will be fine. As much as no one here likes to think of it, we just saw what life would be like if it went on forever. I know were all scared but we need Death in the world."

There was slow clapping in response and we all turned to see Solomon Wreath emerging from the shadows. "Indeed. The whole episode has no doubt given my former brethren something to think about."

Solomon turned his gaze on me, his eyes gleaming. Skulduggery stiffened in response. "Stop looking at my wife, Solomon." He warned and Wreath only smiled in reply, a grin that promised trouble.

"You're wife? So you own Valkyrie, do you?" Solomon asked, never taking his eyes off me. Skulduggery's gun was in his hand and it roared as he fired. Wreath dropped to the ground lifeless and Skulduggery pocketed his revolver happily.

"See? Problem solved, everything back to normal." He said happily. Erskine sighed in response.

"Every time you come back you're a little crazier. Nobody saw anything that happened here, right?" He asked and various Sanctuary staff members nodded. Erskine looked at Skulduggery. "Go home, Skul. You saved the world and you got rid of a Necromancer." Erskine's lips twitched into a smile. "Some might say you planned all of this out ahead of time."

"Some might saw I did."

"Did you shoot him or did Lord Vile?"

"Guess." Skulduggery said cheerfully and with that we were on our way home.

* * *

 **Wheee!**


	77. Chapter 77

I don't own Skulduggery or Valkyrie but Cain and Val are my babies. Sorry to take so long getting back into gear, my dears. But I needed time on my own for a bit. Many thanks go out to **UnusuallyPeculiar** , **awesomeadvice** , **battleaccessory** , **chatterobyn** , **MysteryFlame101** , **Justrockzyxxx** and three **Guests** for the reviews, faves and follows. This chapter gets a little gory, but it's great to be able to write again. What? You all know I've always dreamed of a story that never ends. Some time has passed since this and the last chapter, obviously.

* * *

I sat in the passenger seat of the Bentley, gripping the leather and wondering if this was finally the end as Skulduggery stepped down on the accelerator and the engine roared as the Bentley shot forward. The problem was, the van behind us was keeping up just fine and I heard an answering rumble that promised the bad guys weren't even trying. I looked in the rear view mirror and couldn't see inside the van with the tinted screen and wondered where a cop was when you needed one.

Skulduggery was driving with absolute concentration and I knew it meant we were in for it. "Is this it?" I asked in a small voice as the Bentley started to make ominous sounds and smoke started to drift from under the bonnet. I flicked my glance away from him and watched the van fill the rear view mirror. Then it nudged our bumper teasingly, jolting us forward in our seats and Skulduggery cursed. "Not quite yet." He hissed. "Get ready, we're going to have to stop soon."

"Skulduggery-" I tried but nodded grimly. We were going down fighting. What was in that van could kill either one of us. I felt shock settling over me and it had to be as I heard the roar of another Bentley engine. It wasn't possible. I knew that. But as I twisted in my seat and craned my neck around I saw a Bentley the exact double of ours roaring down the highway, Skulduggery at the wheel. "I'm loosing it." I said as the Bentley pulled alongside the van.

Skulduggery grunted in reply, still concentrating on driving. The Skulduggery inside the other Bentley waved cheerily to the van, blaring his horn and drifting over to bump into it. The van bumped back and he blew them a kiss and took off laughing. The van followed in hot pursuit and we slowed down to watch the van pursue him. I felt helpless as they closed in then yelped in surprise as a black mass formed into a portal in front of the van and it vanished with the black mass nipping at the Bentey's bumper before it disappeared.

Skulduggery braked hard and we slid sideways before coming to a stop, barely avoiding going into the portal ourselves, but as the portal closed we watched the Bentley ahead of us swerve and do a u-turn then stop. The Skulduggery inside got out and bowed theatrically to us. "I'm going to kill him. He's going to die a slow death." Skulduggery muttered as he got us straightened out and started forward, our Bentley now making ominous clanking noises.

"You're going to kill yourself?" I asked doubtfully and he looked at me.

"Don't recognize your own son, do you?" Skulduggery asked and I immediately felt stupid, and ready to kill Cain. He wasn't supposed to be anywhere near this case. We pulled up to him and got out, both of us crossing our arms as he tossed his fedora up in the air repeatedly.

"That was awesome, we have to do more cases together!" Cain said cheerfully.

" _What_ did you do to your mother's Bentley?" Skulduggery growled.

"It's magic paint, she can have any colour she wants now. And it is my care now, remember?" Cain tried and I looked at him and his shoulders sagged. "No, really, technological magic, see?" I went and looked at the new device in his car. Well, it _had_ been given to him and was now his, and I reminded myself of that. "It uses technology to change the colour of the outside of the car, can't say I understand how it works, that's Mel's job."

"You could have been killed!" I growled and Cain looked at me beseechingly.

Mel's van rumbled up behind us and she got out to look at us. "Everyone OK?" She asked and we nodded tightly. She sighed. "He is an adult, you know, and why is it OK for you to be detectives and face danger on a daily basis but not him?"

"Because he's our son." I growled, still frightened for Cain. "Anything could have went wrong, had he been a second too slow-" I broke off and Skulduggery continued for me.

"He can _be_ a detective, he's just not allowed to do anything dangerous." He said in a reasonable tone and I nodded my agreement. I had expected to be the cool parents, but lately Cain seemed more and more reckless as if he had to live up to Skulduggery's legend.

I sighed and stepped forward to catch him in a hug.. "You could have been killed. How did you even get out here?" I asked and he waved his mobile at me as I stepped back. I cursed, forgetting he'd picked up my habit of putting tracers in everything.

"Sorry." Cain said sadly.

"No, we are." Skulduggery sighed. "But when you have children you'll understand." There was a bang behind us and we all jumped and looked behind us. The Bentley was stone dead, smoke billowing out from under the bonnet. Cain guided us to his Bentley without a word.

"You can have it back, we have Mel's van." He said as Skulduggery and I got in. Skulduggery nodded numbly and Cain said some comforting words about getting the Bentley fixed by his mechanic and Skulduggery nodded just as numbly as before as we drove off, back the way we came.

I waved to Mel as we passed her and wondered if there was any mechanic who could fix the Bentley. "Are you all right?" I asked gently even though I knew he wasn't.

"My Bentley, Valkyrie, my Bentley." He managed sadly and I knew even the gift of the Bentley he was driving would never replace that car. We drove home sedately and I wondered if Skulduggery would ever feel like himself again.

* * *

The next morning he was shaking me awake excitedly. "Valkyrie, it's back, the Bentley is back!" I wanted to tell him that was impossible, but got up to look out the window. There, parked beside my Bentley that was back to its ivory colour was his. But it wasn't possible. I dressed as Skulduggery stared out the window longingly, then we were out the door and he was fussing over the car, kissing it reverently.

Under one of the wipers was a note. I pulled it out gently and found out that the car had been repaired by Cain's mechanic, free of charge. I watched Skulduggery slide behind the wheel. "Take my best girl to breakfast?" He asked happily. I nodded as I got in. "How about a long drive to the diner we took Ryan to?" He asked and I agreed. The Bentley started with a purr and I couldn't help staring at the car's interior as we drove.

"It looks brand new." I said and he nodded.

"I need the number of his mechanic." Skulduggery agreed. "This is wonderful. I wonder how he worked such miracles so fast."

"She." I corrected and he glanced over at me. "Mel's his mechanic, remember?" I asked and Skulduggery nodded absently. Although we were fairly well off, Cain hadn't expected to just be given a fortune. He had been given a place to live and a car to drive, but other than that he and Mel were making it on their own.

Skulduggery switched on the radio and we both whistled in appreciation. Everything had been subtly upgraded and the rich sound that poured into the Bentley prompted me to ring Mel. She answered cheerfully "Hey, no problem, sis. I've told Cain not to drive like a maniac, but from the stories you've told me he inherited it. You are _never_ driving my van." She teased and we both laughed.

"But how? So fast?" I asked and she chuckled.

"I'm a super weapon, remember? Where's the good in a superweapon that can't repair her own vehicle?" She asked and we left it at that. I knew she'd been changed into a superweapon, a sort of über vampire, with all their strengths and none of their weaknesses. She would never shift and salt water had no effect on her. Yet again I was thankful she'd remained one of the good guys.

Skulduggery glanced over at me. "Why do I think a case just snuck up on us?" He asked as I rang off. I shrugged.

"I feel it too." I admitted. "It's like I keep expecting America to come and claim their weapons back." I didn't add that some in the Sanctuary still saw the American mages as plants, war heroes for our side or not. I didn't believe it for a second and knowing Mel I knew better. Still, it was like there was darkness on the horizon. And I didn't like the feeling one bit.

* * *

We got ourselves a booth from which we could admire the Bentley and I smiled at Skulduggery. I loved the car as much as he did but it was clear he'd been given the rarest of gifts. Bentleys were still made to be sure, but they didn't have the class of the classic 1954 Bentley R-Type Continental. That other diners were admiring the car only made him more chuffed with himself.

Our coffee arrived and he grinned at me before taking a sip. Skulduggery wore his necklace twenty four seven now, and he reveled in his freedom. The other diners saw a handsome man sitting with me, but I saw the skeleton somehow sipping his coffee. It still fascinated me and now he didn't even need a straw. "How do you do that?"

"Talented, I guess." He said with a shrug. "You know, Valkyrie. I feel like our partnership is just starting again. With all the adventures we've been through, it still feels fresh." I nodded, knowing what he meant. We'd been together for decades and every day still felt like the first day of our partnership and marriage. "And just think, we have two Bentelys again."

I smiled. After Cain's stunt driving he'd handed over the keys for good. It wasn't anything either of us wouldn't have done, but there were certain things you did not do to a Bentley in Skulduggery's presence and that flourish of a u-turn had been included. That and he'd been sore that his own Bentley had died. "You know, Cain should have his own car."

"Why do I think you have one hidden away for him?" Skulduggery asked and I blushed.

"Secret garage." I admitted then paused as our plates came. "I had a few upgrades done, and it's not anything special, so there's no use of us driving to Gordon's mansion to see it." I said and Skulduggery snorted.

"What did you do, hang a bacon-scented air freshener in the Oompa Loompa?" He asked and I shrugged, smiling slightly. I knew he'd take the bait as he always did and Skulduggery was suddenly rushing us through breakfast and hustling us out to the Bentley. I smiled to myself, wondering what his reaction would be.

* * *

We went into the secret garage and I flicked on the lights. "Now, this is car is nothing special, I'm not kidding. I don't want you to be disappointed." I said, but he was standing transfixed.

"Where did you find her?" He asked, taking in the outline underneath the cover.

"I have my ways." I said and he looked at me then back at the covered car, then back at me. "Remember how I told you my Bentley had a sister?" I asked and his jaw dropped open and he made a beeline for the car.

I laughed and watched him uncover her carefully then reverently run his hands over her gleaming black surface. I decided not to mention adopting the twins as I thought of them had cost me selling of a lot of Uncle Gordon's antiques, but it had been worth it to see his utter joy. Skulduggery cast me a quizzical look and I nodded, getting the keys from their hiding place and tossing them to him.

He opened the Bentley and got behind the wheel, sighing happily. "She's wonderful. Are you sure we can't just give him the Oompa Loompa?" He asked teasingly and I laughed. "You know I am proud of him, right? And having a double with the same car could come in useful." I nodded my agreement, watching Skulduggery run his hands reverently over the steering wheel.

"He could and I'm proud of him too. Let's face it, Cain takes after you, Skulduggery. He's just as daring, just as brave, and he certainly can charm people." I said and Skulduggery chuckled in that deep velvety voice of his that Cain had inherited.

"True, he gets it from me, of course. Because I'm so dashing." Skulduggery said as he adjusted his tie in the rear view mirror. "Just as Val gets being beautiful from you." I smiled fondly at him.

"No regrets after all these years?" I asked and he looked at me.

"None." He said, bringing up a gloved hand to touch my cheek gently. Skulduggery leaned in to kiss me and from the way he did I believed him.

* * *

Skulduggery and I decided to resume exploring the mansion and I winked at him and Echo Gordon as I dug my mobile out. I giggled then sobered and dialed Cain's number. "Yes, mom?" He squeaked into the phone.

"Don't you mom me!" I growled. "Lucky for you I have a replacement car for you. Come get the heap of bolts you never managed to discover. In your own home yet!" I tried to keep the laughter out of my voice and failed. "Relax, Cain, I do have a new car for you, it was here all the time, sweetie." I heard him breathe a sigh of relief. "Right in the home of two Sanctuary detectives." I added and heard Mel's laughter in the background as we rang off.

Skulduggery shook his head in amusement. "You know. I'd have expected him to find it by now and I can't believe he hasn't bothered exploring the mansion." He turned to look at Gordon who just shrugged.

"Those two are home less than Valkyrie ever was. Now that things are back to normal and there are so many cases they don't get much time off."

Skulduggery grunted. It was hard on him that newer detectives like our children were getting some of the more choice cases. Erskine made noises about holding us in reserve, but the truth was people still wanted us back as Elders and would often clam up when we were in the field. Skulduggery's mobile rang and he stepped away to answer it. He grunted his way through the call then came back to me, pleased with himself. "Exploring will have to wait, so shall watching Cain get his Bentley. Duty calls, my most loyal and beautiful combat accessory." He said brightly.

I jumped up excitedly and after hurried goodbyes we were in the Bentley, roaring off towards the Sanctuary. "Seatbelt." Skulduggery said, then looked at me. "I knew they couldn't get along without us, and not as Elders either." He chortled happily.

"I know. That job was fun for about five minutes. I liked helping people and everything, but punching them is a lot more fun."

"Except when they punch back, that part I don't like." Skulduggery said. He cast a look over at me. "I told you it felt like we were starting over. Now we can gwt back to saving the world on a daily basis, no more small cases."

"Right!" I agreed though I hoped we were right and hadn't just been tricked into awaiting Elder robes.

* * *

There were no Elder robes awaiting us, instead Erskine shooed us out of his office and over to see the newly installed Elder. "He is in a really bad mood, but he won by a landslide. So, you know, don't say a word, OK?" He asked and we nodded and went over to the next office where we found the Elder sitting at his desk with a frightening looked of quiet rage on his face.

He glanced up at us. "I blame you two for this." He rumbled ominously. Then he smiled suddenly and we figured out why when Tanith grabbed me from behind. "Tea?" He offiered as I squealed and broke out of her happy embrace.

"Yes, please, and we're really sorry?" I managed but he shrugged.

"The kids are grown and we want to start over. Not to mention business has been a tad slow with Skulduggery not needing new suits all the time." He chuckled as he set tea down for all of us. "But I suppose you are here about the case."

"We are, but how are you really?" Skulduggery asked and Ghastly shrugged.

"It's different here now. Things are back to normal, and some of our reformed detectives have gone missing. That is your case. Erskine knows you two won't showboat when looking for them. We never did find out who made them leave. They even had Sensitives test Tanith." He sounded angry but I didn't blame the Sanctuary.

Tanith had made her outright hatred of them all clear and as I scanned my file I noticed Erskine had been questioned as well. I raised my eyebrows at Ghastly who shrugged. "Just about anyone who could be thought of was questioned."

"Then why call us in if you already have detectives on the case?" I asked but knew the answer before I finished asking the question.

"They're dead." Ghastly responded flatly.

* * *

Skulduggery and I noticed a lack of files concerning their bodies so we went to the mourge next, Skulduggery humming to himself cheerfully. "Sorry." He mumbled when I looked at him.

"Don't be. If the situation was reversed and they were replacing us they'd likely be crowing about it." I said as the elevator slid downward, Skulduggery winced then nodded as the doors opened. Doctor Galen Morgagni looked pleased to see us as we entered his domain.

"Yov'e come to see the autopsies? How wonderful!" He enthused as we donned garb to keep us from contaminating the evidence. Apparently he'd stepped up his cleanliness regulations and I wondered why until I saw the two corpses they wheeled in.

"Here you are." He said, handing over the small jar of Vick's and I applied some though Skulduggery declined. "And you can call me Galen, detectives" He said cheerfully. "It's so rare any of you come down here."

"This is the place where the dead rejoice to teach the living." Skulduggery deadpanned and the doctor roared with laughter. He took out his slim recorder and began dictating.

"A preliminary view of the bodies shows that the skin and bodies appear to have been mummified." He drew back one sheet and his hands glided over the male corpse, probing gently. "In a system similar to that of putting a body in a bog. There are no marks or wounds on the body, other than the obvious removal of the skin and it's reconstruction into a jacket.." He waved us slightly closer, flipping the recorder off.

By taking the sheet down further he showed us the skin jacket, a duster type, neatly folded. It was the same colour as the corpse and I looked at him questioningly. "This is strange, detectives. The way they are preserved I'd swear they were in a bog for centuries. I'll run tests of course, but you can see from the skin texture they've been preserved and it isn't tanning or any other method of embalming. And yes, before you ask, they were skinned, then preserved, the skins tailored, well, raw and preserved with them."

I looked at the corpse before me. Young and fit he'd been preserved in every detail only now he seemed to be made out of a dark leather. His expression was peaceful as if he'd met his fate willingly. "Drugged?" I asked.

"They could have been. They certainly weren't lured out there and some of the detectives are saying." He paused. "It's not a púca or a fairy light or any of that nonsense." I didn't mention the corpses that had reanimated themselves on one case during possession and neither did Skulduggery.

"A púca?" I asked and the Doctor shook his head.

"A type of fairy, Detective Cain, only they don't exist, do they?" I said nothing and we left him to the examination, Dr. Morgagni mumbling he'd need more time before proceeding further. I frowned at Skulduggery as we returned to the elevator, leaving our smocks and caps in a bin marked for them.

"Don't exist?" I asked as we were being whisked back up.

"Mm. Strange attitude from a Sanctuary doctor of all people, but there are mortals who don't believe they ever went to the moon either."

* * *

Ghaslty looked surprised to see us both so soon and winced when Skulduggery mentioned the púca theory. "That's all we need. Usually we leave them alone as they don't seem to answer to anyone, but could it be?" He shrugged. "The obvious problem is the púca is Irish and the nearest bog that can preserve anything isn't in Ireland. So we either have someone tanning people after death or-" He broke off with another shrug.

"We've seen them." Tanith put in before I could ask how he knew and I repressed a shiver. As a tailor he'd have been a good suspect but I didn't think Ghastly had suddenly gone barmy and started making jackets out of people. He seemed to read my mind.

"I was asked as soon as the bodies came in, and while you can pierce living skin or recently dead you'd end up with a dreadful mess if you didn't cure it before tailoring anything out of it and from what I saw those were tanned and cured jackets, as gruesome as they are. Had our killer simply used the flesh without curing it would have either rotted or as it cured it would go out of shape, shrink and the like. And no process I know of could tan them and their skins perfectly in a few days' time."

"So, you're saying an expert did this?" Skulduggery asked and Ghastly nodded.

Skulduggery looked at me cheerfully. "That means a trip to the Hall of Magical Cabinets. The place where you come _alive_." He teased. I tried to punch him. Hard. But he'd ducked out of his seat and I missed. I followed him out of Ghastly's office with a growl but we didn't speak until we'd reached the fabled room.

"Well I guess this narrows down our suspect pool." I said as Skulduggery started pawing through the filing cabinets. He nodded. "Care to fill me in? I could help." I offered. And Skulduggery turned to look at me. "What? It's in alphabetical order, so just tell me who we are looking for."

"P for púca would help. If we've had rouble with one before you'll find it, though they aren't noted for pranks this elaborate." I stared at him.

"You call skinning people alive a joke?"

"I'd wager they were stone dead by the time they were skinned. We just need to make sure we don't have malicious sidhe running around, though likely our killer is another maniac hellbent on world domination." He said cheerfully. I shook my head and got to it, wondering how close Lord Vile was to the surface, but I knew I wasn't being fair.

We were needed again, and with Ghastly back as an Elder things were serious. I found nothing and turned to look at Skulduggery. "A bog couldn't do this right away, right?" I asked.

"Goodness, no. We have a clever criminal using science and magic or it's a warning. Did you notice their coats?" He asked. I shook my head. "Turned inside out. Either our detective betrayed us or someone powerful but it was a warning to someone, we just need to figure out who."

I nodded. "It all goes back to the person who made the reformed detective leave, right?"

"Perhaps, perhaps not. Funny how we don't know who it is, isn't it?" He peered at me carefully then closed the filing cabinet to stare at me. "Lord Vile isn't much for talking and Darquesse tends to kill those she has a problem with and this wasn't her style. Who do we both know that's sneaky enough to do this? To make them all leave twice or simply vanish?"

"Well, we've crossed Tanith off the list and everyone else. The only person who could imitate me would be my reflection but she's dead."

"That we know of."

"What did she do, make a reflection of a reflection?" I asked.

"Exactly, you can't copy a reflection, but you _can_ copy a human, even a mortal will do if you know the words. What if she made her own double, sent it out and that's what met an untimely demise. We'd be none the wiser."

"So now she's gone even more mental and is making fashion out of people?" I asked doubtfully.

Skulduggery looked at me closely. "You're forgetting something. She is also Darquesse's reflection." He said steadily. "Imagine if Darquesse never redeemed herself, if she'd stayed dark and only got worse when she didn't get to keep her magical powers. Worse still, Valkyrie," He said, his voice hushed. "What if Darquesse was clever enough to hide in that reflection all this time and is finally emerging?"

* * *

 **Now, there's a cheerful thought for you.**


	78. Chapter 78

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Darquesse, Lord Vile, Billy-Ray, Erskine, Jack, Thrasher, Scapegrace, Tipstaff, Ghastly or Gordon. Cain, Calamity, Galen and Val are all my OCs though. Thanks go out to **I love Gibbs** for the review, fave and follow.

* * *

I stared at Skulduggery in disbelief. "You aren't serious, are you? Wouldn't I know if I wasn't Darquesse?" I asked.

"Would you? The turned coats gave me the idea. Imagine your reflection's rage, feeling she'd been denied everything she'd ever deserved. Worse still if that rage imprinted on the actual Darquesse."

"So why such a slow process?" I countered. "Getting the detectives to leave the first time happened years ago and I'm going with vanished this time or we'd have calls from other Sanctuaries."

"Maybe she was weak, maybe they are dead."

"If this is about Lord Vile wanting to kill Darquesse-" I began but Skulduggery placed a gloved finger on my lips and cocked his skull. Without a word I called my armour to me and listened. There was a faint sound only the dead could have heard. Whispery singing that sent chills up my spine.

It was impossible to make out the words or the age or gender of the singer, but it sounded like it was coming from the very walls. I knew we had to assume we were being watched but we still sought any place in the stone walls to find a switch, a hidden room, anything.

Even by letting my dead sight roll over me I couldn't see a thing out of place. And Skulduggery's signal I reached into my duster and hit a button discretely sewn inside. Within seconds both children were beside us, armoured up. I held a finger to my teeth then nodded towards Skulduggery. But it was Vile's voice that whispered in our heads.

 _We're being watched. Say nothing. Fan out and search for clues. We have to assume the watcher is highly dangerous. Be careful._ We all nodded our agreement and I knew that Erskine and the rest of the Sanctuary were also on high alert as I crept out of the room and down the hall. I went slowly, scanning the hall carefully. The singer had sounded close, and could likely be dangerous. It made me wonder if we really were dealing with Darquesse and I was just a sorry second-rate copy.

I mentally shook myself. _Don't think like that. Thinking like that gets you dead_. I thought and it was the last one I managed before two powerful arms shot out of the wall beside me and drug me inside before I could shadow-walk away. I fought and heard a familiar voice growl close to me. "Just you hush. Is that heebie jeebie thing still around?" It was Sanguine and he sounded terrified.

"Yes, that's what I'm looking for." I managed.

"Well don't!" He hissed. "Calamity is lookin' for the kids and we're gettin' you all out of here."

"Skulduggery!" I said.

"Will be all right." Billy-Ray assured me as he started moving us backwards ever so carefully then had us in a supply closet. We got out and made our way down the hall and I led the way forward.

"What are we hiding from and how come you think Skulduggery will be all right if I and the kids are in danger?" I asked. Billy-Ray said nothing and when I turned to talk to him he'd simply vanished.

I hit the button in my jacket again and Skulduggery and the children were with me instantly. "Billy-Ray, whatever it is, it's taken him." I said grimly.

* * *

A search was launched and neither Billy-Ray or Calamity were found. We were back where we had started and Skulduggery looked at me. "He called it a what again?" He asked doubtfully.

"A heebie jeebie."

" _That_ narrows it down." He said dryly. "It could be anything. Well, we know it isn't a Jitter Girl and a bean sidhe tends to wail and not sing, nor do they make fashion out of people. Unless, of course, the two are entirely unrelated."

"He also implied you were safe." I offered and he stared at me. "He and Calamity were evacuating me and the kids, we were in danger, not you."

Skulduggery tilted his head thoughtfully. "Then either he thinks it is me or someone who would never hurt me. Well, we know it isn't you or the kids." He started to pace. "Did you notice anything when he drug you into the wall?"

"No, I sensed whatever it was was just around the corner but Billy-Ray seemed determined I didn't find out what it was. Why?" I asked and Skulduggery shrugged.

Then he stopped and looked at all of us. "There could be a chance our own people are doing this. That the chances to reform failed and it could have been, well, Jack isn't considered handsome by most people."

""Neither were Scapegrace and Thrasher, but none of them have the skills to preserve a corpse do they?" I asked and Skulduggery sagged against the wall. "I officially hate this case." I said with a sigh.

Val cleared her throat then spoke up. "Could it be someone angry at the detectives or Sanctuary? Shouldn't we be looking at what they were investigating and where they were found?"

I smacked my forehead in reply and let my armour flow away from me. "Of course!" I said at the same time as Skulduggery and at my gesture he continued, flipping through the case file.

"Well, well. The crime scene is out in the middle of nowhere but the diner we took Ryan to is along the way." We all stared a him. "If I detour a little." He amended. "Well, don't just sit there, let's go get some lunch and then we have a crime scene to investigate."

* * *

In the Bentley I shifted in my seat once we were underway to look at the kids. "We didn't drag you away from your own cases did we?" I asked.

"Nope." Val said cheerfully but Cain looked out the window angrily. I repressed a sigh.

"Cain, you know the rule. Unless we're in the middle of a war-"

"I know, the family alert means we all come together." He looked at me. "But that's just it, we do have partners of our own, mom. We are married adults."

"Do you want to be in this investigation?" Skulduggery asked quietly.

"Dad, we're never going to be some family of crime-fighting skeletons. I know that was your dream but it's never going to happen." Cain countered and I looked at him in shock.

"All right. I'll stop by the mansion first. As lead detective on this case I'm relieving you both of duty. If we need anything further from you we'll call ahead." He said tartly and I Gibbs slapped him the same time Val hit Cain.

"Ow!" They whined in unison.

"Skulduggery, get a grip, they're young yet. Do you think I'd have wanted my parents tagging along on our cases?" I asked. I then looked at Cain.

"Yes, you have a partner. Mel and Tess aren't being excluded. I rang them and their doing legwork."

"Oh." Cain slid down in his seat.

"Yes, oh. We know they are more likely to get people to talk who would ignore us and Tess and Mel are both good at finding people." I wanted to be angry and lecture him, but I could still see the tiny baby I'd held in my arms and laughed slightly. "You were a lot easier to handle in diapers."

"Mom!" Cain wailed.

"You children never wore diapers, we dressed you in take away sacks." Skulduggery teased. Val giggled and finally Cain joined her. "But you're right, Cain. We aren't ever going to be a family of detectives. I will need you on some cases but you're too important to the Sanctuary on your own, and I'm proud of you for that, both of you."

The atmosphere in the car changed and Skulduggery flicked the radio on for the rest of the drive, Val starting in with her normal stream of chattering. I was zoning her out until she mentioned a movie about clones. "How's that, sweetie?" I asked and she piped up happily.

"A really old movie, mom. They were making clones of people, killing the real people and replacing them. Like the reflections did once, remember?" She asked and I nodded, my mind starting to whirr. I turned around and looked at her.

"Did the clones think they were the real people, sweetie?" I asked and she nodded but I held up a finger before she could go into detail. "Dial the Sanctuary, get in contact with Doctor Galen and tell him what you told me. I want him to look into something for me."

She dialed and was burbling away when I felt Skulduggery looking at me. "It fits the pattern. Kill the original and take over their life, well done, Valkyrie. Though it is a puzzle _how_ they killed them."

I heard Val ring off. "Mom? Dr. Galen said to tell you the bodies have gone missing. But not to worry he doesn't think these ones walked off this time. What is he talking about?" I smiled then told her the story for the rest of the drive.

* * *

We got a hurried lunch then were back in the Bentley. Skulduggery had already looked the area up on his mobile and of course there were no bogs. "Great." I said as we pulled up to the crime scene. "A beacon to every larger lout, teen and urban explorer in the area." I said, taking in the ruined factory before us.

It was dismal-looking building of grey stone with filthy windows, but strangely no damage to the windows or any spray painted tags on the outside. "I don't like this." I said as we got out.

"Duly noted." Skulduggery said cheerfully.

"It look like a horror movie set." Cain grumbled.

"That's the spirit!" Skulduggery agreed as he led the way around the building and out of sight of any observers. I armoured up and let my dead senses flow over me. I could see the faint footprints in the grass and we trailed them into the building.

"They split up." Skulduggery muttered and shook his head. "Don't they watch horror movies? You _never_ split up in an abandoned factory."

"We're splitting up, are't we?" I asked and he nodded, taking Cain with him and going to the left to follow one trail while Val and I headed to the right.

I sighed. "You know he always gives me the jobs that involve danger, right?" I asked and she nodded. "So be on alert." I dropped my voice to a whisper and rose off the ground slightly with my shadows. Val followed my example so we could glide down the hallway off the large central room we'd entered by and we found a closed and locked door.

I held up three fingers as I slid to one wall and Val slid to the other and when she nodded I pointed to myself, then the door and made a pushing motion. She nodded again, readying her shadows. I counted down then blasted the door with my shadows, both of us falling backwards in surprise as a huge guard dog bounded out, so starved his ribs were showing.

He flew past us and out of the building and I cursed as I rose to my feet. We entered the room and other than the mess the poor dog had made found nothing. Not even footprints. We walked back to the entrance silently then took the metal stairs that led to upper level. My mobile buzzed, making us both jump and I checked it. Skulduggery. "Yes, dear?" I hissed into it.

"What was that noise?"

"The footsteps led to a door and just stopped. I'm assuming he could have went inside but a dog that had been locked inside left too many prints of his own to see anything. We lost the trail and no prints doubled back."

"So he disappeared from that room, head back, Valkyrie, we'll meet you." He rang off and we doubled back with a sigh. Skulduggery looked at the mess the dog had made then at me.

"Either our detectives who found the bodies locked that dog in their or someone else did. There was no report of a dog though and this room clearly wasn't searched until you to arrived. See? Only your prints."

I nodded. We searched the walls, everywhere for a seam or a switch, we took apart filing cabinets, even cleaned out the dog mess and nothing. "What can take you out of a closed room, Cain?" Skulduggery asked.

Cain tilted his head thoughtfully "Necromancer, teleporter, tunneling Adept." He said and Skulduggery nodded.

"Right. And either the abductor put the dog down here as a rather rubbish lure and snatched our detective away at the entrance or-" He knelt down to study the prints outside the door, trailing them back down the hall and we followed. Skulduggery started up the same stairs we'd been on and looked back down when none of us followed. Well, come on, he went this way."

"That's where we were going." I grumbled as we started up after him. And there are no prints." I added.

"No, but there was a faint trace of a sigil you missed. From the design I'd say it was meant to transport him to the next one."

"Cool." Cain said. "So why didn't we use it to follow?" Skulduggery stopped and looked at him.

"Because it could have been a trap. Luckily it was meant for one trip only." We came to a metal door at the top of the stairs and Skulduggery tested it, then knelt down with his lock picks. "I'm wagering the destination was here, he couldn't have been transported far." I was about to ask why when the door clicked open.

Skulduggery held up a hand and drew his gun, I drew mine and at his nod Cain manipulated the air and the door swung open. The room was empty with only one faint set of prints about another sigil. Skulduggery studied it curiously. Then beckoned us to join him. "See the tiny arrow? It shows you the direction of the next destination."

This one was etched as though pointing up and Skulduggery nodded. "We have to find access to the roof. Just searching at random won't help us. It will be easier to follow the sigils in order." I wanted to argue we just looked for a sigil with no arrow, but he was right.

It took a while but we got to the roof to find another sigil. "He ended here." Skulduggery said with a frown in his voice. "So his attacker was here, waiting for him." We all looked at him and he continued. "Once he steeped onto the first sigil he was locked into the magic until he reached the final one. It's why it's a good idea not to step on them."

I nodded and although we searched no trace of the attacker could be found.

* * *

We trailed back to the Bentley and I knew Skulduggery was troubled after we'd seen Ghastly and we and the children parted ways. "I don't like this, Valkyrie." He said as we drove home. "It's like someone constructed a case of random clues that don't fit together. Usually there's a logical progression I can find." He became quiet for a while then braked so hard I was thankful for my seatbelt.

Skulduggery turned the Bentley around with a curse. "Of course. If those bodies had been in a bog how did they end up being found in an abandoned factory out in the middle of nowhere?" He asked as he sped back towards the Sanctuary.

"Either there are sigils to travel there from the actual bog or someone moved them there?"

"Yes, but how did our detectives even _know_ to search there when they didn't report in?"

"Tracing the mobiles?"

He shook his head. There were no mobiles or IDs on the bodies. Someone told them to look there, Valkyrie and I want to know who."

* * *

Ghastly, just leaving his office drew a blank when asked, and Erskine didn't know either. Not even Tipstaff had any idea who had sent the detectives out there and when questioned they drew a blank and couldn't remember who had told them. A Sanctuary Sensitive confirmed after they left that they really didn't know who it was, only that they'd been given orders to search the area. Skulduggery sighed as the Sensitive left. "We're being laughed at, Valkyrie. Who would go to so much trouble to make a fool out of the Sanctuary and why kill innocent detectives to do it? What possible motive would there be?"

I shook my head. "I give up, the clues are too random. It's like we got fragments of separate cases and tried to stich them together. Maybe none of it is related. Maybe the killings, the location of the body and this mystery person no one can remember are all unrelated."

"Can't remember?" Erskine said thoughtfully. "Can't remember." He repeated. "Why do I think you just solved the case, Val?" He started to pace, seemingly agitated. "To tell you the truth, your Grand Mage has thought he was loosing it. I've been seeing cups of coffee appear on my desk on days Tipstaff was off and don't remember getting them. Case files appear and disappear. My car will be parked in a strange spot and I don't remember leaving the Sanctuary. It's like there are gaps in my memory."

I shivered. My reflection had started developing gaps, missed memories and I hadn't thought to mention it. I stared at Erskine closely. Would a clone work the same way?

* * *

After we confirmed no one had made a reflection of themselves it suddenly clicked into pace for me. "Chagelings. The two detectives were changelings, Skulduggery. And that dog at the factory that ran past me and Val? That was our púca."

Erskine facepalmed and I glared at him. "Valkyrie, púcas don't exist."

"So dragons, banshees, and everything else we've run into does, but the don't What about-" He held up a hand to stop me.

"What are banshees?" He asked. I looked at Skulduggery worriedly. We were the only ones in the Sanctuary that seemed to remember the Good Folk existed.

* * *

"Of course." Skulduggery said thoughtfully once Ghastly and the children had joined us in Erskine's offic. "Val is half dead, the kids and I are all dead, so of course we remember." He beamed at me. "Good work, Val. Púcas are relatively unknown, but I distinctly remember they are shapeshifters and can appear as dogs. And that would explain no one remembering him either."

"Him?"

""Or her." He conceded "But what tipped you off about the changelings?"

"It was a clue. The skin turned into a coat? Uncle Gordon did a story once about a mage who could turn into people after wearing their skin."

"And your parents let you read it? That explains so much. But well done and a trip to Gordon's mansion is called for." The kids groaned, but we all piled into the Bentley and Gordon was chuffed I'd remembered the novel.

"One of my personal favourites." He said happily. "And yes, I did vaguely base it on the púca legend. Skulduggery kept telling me writing about Them was dangerous but I wouldn't hear of it. So, our killer took some changelings back the hard way? Odd, they don't normally live to adulthood."

"Change what now?" Cain asked.

"Changelings, my dearest, great nephew, and what a great nephew you are." Gordon teased. "They used to be believed to be left by the Good Folk in exchange for healthier human babies. They would be sickly, have pale complexions and generally didn't live until adulthood. No one knows why they were left either or what ever happened to the human babes."

"We do know some have lived to adulthood." Skulduggery said thoughtfully and these two must have transgressed one of their laws. He looked at me. "Punishment used to be rather more severe in the old days, turning those two into bog men and making coats of them is rather mild."

"I'll take your word for it." I said dryly.

"So it would seem that part of the case is solved, though it would be nice to have bodies to prove they weren't human." He sighed. "Of course the bodies could have been pieces of wood for all we know. Even mages are suseptible to fey magic."

The kids looked at us expectantly and I knew they wanted us to go home to ponder the case further. I was wistful for the past for a moment. For the time when it had been just Skulduggery and I and we could have stayed all night to chat with Uncle Gordon, but they were right. Skulduggery and I made our goodbyes and went out to the Bentley. "Seatbelt." Skulduggery said.

I complied at looked at him. "I suddenly feel _old_. Had I known having children would make me feel old I'd never have done it." I grumbled and he laughed.

"They are grown up, you know" He said gently. "And now we get to be the old and out of touch parents who don't understand anything."

"Lovely, that." I grumbled. "Val is OK nut Cain just seems to resent us anymore." I said and Skulduggery nodded. And that was strange. Cain always been a tad arrogant, he was our son, after all, and he'd always been trying to live up to Skulduggery's legend. But that day I'd gotten the idea that my own child hated me and I wondered if a walking, talking duplicate of Skulduggery could have been behind any of the chaos spreading through the Sanctuary.

* * *

 **Say it isn't so! Is it all on the púca's shoulders or is Cain responsible for meddling in the Sanctuary. And if so, why?**


End file.
